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Married "singles" a tip

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I really dont know if this is wise or not but actually i dont really care either as the number of married threads seems to be increasing exponentially

So after the fun trying to explain things from my point of _iew yesterday on another thread here goes

Not many males can resist the pull of testosterone and if for any reason (of which there are many)things are not good in the relationship with the wife and you havent got the bottle or there are other reasons why you cant split

Then of course sex becomes a main focus

As ive said many years ago i had an affair and i certainly aint proud of it

Having said that it wasnt that cut and dried

Im bisexual and although my wife at the time was aware of this and actually let me go with men (which incidentally she shared my main one with me in threesomes)

She wouldnt however let me see females

So it was ok for her to see men but not me to see women

(her stance on this was well you can see men and actually now i can see her point but at the time i was young and couldnt see it)

So i started to see a lady on the side

Anyway i digress

So i dont actually as such have a problem with marrieds

What i DO have a problem with however is how marrieds treat the swinging world like a justification for their cheating and im on about the fact that some seem to brag about it

IE the forums (designed primarily in my opinion to wind up people)

Yes put the fact you are married on your profile

Yes tell people by mail and be truthful about it

Or even better keep it to yourself UNLESS you are asked

Respect your partner a little more by not airing your dirty washing in a public forum on a swinging site that the poor bugger knows nothing about anit ya hurting her enough already??

Also ill relate something that happened quite regularly with my last partner at chams (A swinging club for those who dont know)

Im a nosey twat and im always curious what made people swing (been in it myself nearly 30 years and ya get curious lol)

So regularly either in the jacuzzi or the bar area id ask single males that were taking an interest in my partner if they were genuinely single

The majority said no and to be truthful as ive said its none of my business

The next question i then asked was "does your partner swing?"

You would be amazed at the number that said "oh no i wouldnt let her and i would never bring her to a place like this"

They were always amazed by the fact we would at that point get up and walk away

So just to sum up and give you marrieds a few tips ta get meets

Be truthful but keep your bloody heads down and one thing that keeps cropping up lately is the saying well couples swing because their partner cant satisfy them or similar, deadly line that one dont use it lol

(yep some use it and similar in forums and even in emails to couples)

No one (and remember in swinging women are in charge and DONT forget that one)Likes a bragger and especially if that bragger seems to be bragging they are cheating no matter how they say it

(for the majority of couples its all about trust and emotional faithfulness)

Why open yourself up to criticism?

My experiences are my own but other couples have their reasons and _iews on the subject

I hope this thread has gone some way to explaining and helping you maybe understand why some are not as helpful on your threads as you would like

Good luck

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By *it of fun cplCouple
over a year ago

village between York and Hull

Excellent thread!

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

well said...i have a theory its valentines day...they bought roses and choccies and they still didnt get a shag.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Bloody hell soapy, i agreed with every word you said

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I no longer give a flying fuck what they do...

it just won't be with me.

my life is just the way I want it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Bloody hell soapy, i agreed with every word you said"

First time fa everything lol xx

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

I think that people feel they have to justify their actions in some way to try and become "accepted" into a group...i.e- forumites and the swinging community in general

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By *5DaveMan
over a year ago

loch lomond

Well said Soapy, I totally agree with your post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

never read it, am shagging the neighbours wife atm

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Ive changed my mind and decided that im now bored with all these threads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Much as I love you Soapy and I liked your thread, you have now got my brain working again which is not good as I had kidded it on it was to go into sleep mode!!!!

Just kidding hon. I thought it was very good. xxxx

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

P.s Soapy maybe you should have entitled the thread "married single males".....i think its a smidgeon one sided....males get told to be honest and not hide anything, yet married single women are applauded for not saying anything and being "discreet"....no balance there as far as i can see

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By *landPeggyCouple
over a year ago

Holland !


"What i DO have a problem with however is how marrieds treat the swinging world like a justification for their cheating and im on about the fact that some seem to brag about it"

Haven't seen much bragging, but .....

If I've got this right Soapy!, you've just shackeld down with a partner, you're both swingers, everything out in the open. Respect for that, but you have a match made in heaven from the start.

But relating to the issue you've posted about, a couple ( marraige is nothing more than a piece of paper ) might not enter the swinging world at the same time.

How about Joe Bloggs ( going use a bloke for this, otherwise I'd be typing "he or she" the whole time ), seen some internet porn, checked out some swingers sites, decided he wants more sex in his life than currently available, dabbles a bit, maybe has an affair.

Naughty, naughty, but being going on longer than prostitution.

THEN, at some stage of the game, he realises that he loves his missus and wants to stay with her, but broaden their sex life. Maybe she also ain't so happy when the saturday night sex is postponed due to a bad footy result.

His interests are in NOT cheating any more, but in consolidating his relationship with his partner by including her in his escapades.

He'll then post a thread on FAB " How do I get my wife interested in swinging ? ". He'll get a few really decent replies, the rest will be arguing on the in's and out's of playing away from home.

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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

We were lucky.. Because, I Mr New, am bi and open about it and really thought hard over the years about why my previous relationships never worked I wrote down what makes me tick.

I wanted a partner I could totally be at ease with, open with, love and lust after, and then look to the shared future together. we could discuss porn as much as we could discuss how nice Pinot Noir is

I had a first date with Mrs New , I met her in the vanilla world, and then I opened up totally to her, about the lot, basically saying my previous relationships suffered because of my interest and sexuality.

And she stayed talking to me and then we kissed for the first time. Five years later we are engaged, madly in live with each other and as you can see from our verifications, we get naughty now and again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I really dont know if this is wise or not but actually i dont really care either as the number of married threads seems to be increasing exponentially

So after the fun trying to explain things from my point of _iew yesterday on another thread here goes

Not many males can resist the pull of testosterone and if for any reason (of which there are many)things are not good in the relationship with the wife and you havent got the bottle or there are other reasons why you cant split

Then of course sex becomes a main focus

As ive said many years ago i had an affair and i certainly aint proud of it

Having said that it wasnt that cut and dried

Im bisexual and although my wife at the time was aware of this and actually let me go with men (which incidentally she shared my main one with me in threesomes)

She wouldnt however let me see females

So it was ok for her to see men but not me to see women

(her stance on this was well you can see men and actually now i can see her point but at the time i was young and couldnt see it)

So i started to see a lady on the side

Anyway i digress

So i dont actually as such have a problem with marrieds

What i DO have a problem with however is how marrieds treat the swinging world like a justification for their cheating and im on about the fact that some seem to brag about it

IE the forums (designed primarily in my opinion to wind up people)

Yes put the fact you are married on your profile

Yes tell people by mail and be truthful about it

Or even better keep it to yourself UNLESS you are asked

Respect your partner a little more by not airing your dirty washing in a public forum on a swinging site that the poor bugger knows nothing about anit ya hurting her enough already??

Also ill relate something that happened quite regularly with my last partner at chams (A swinging club for those who dont know)

Im a nosey twat and im always curious what made people swing (been in it myself nearly 30 years and ya get curious lol)

So regularly either in the jacuzzi or the bar area id ask single males that were taking an interest in my partner if they were genuinely single

The majority said no and to be truthful as ive said its none of my business

The next question i then asked was "does your partner swing?"

You would be amazed at the number that said "oh no i wouldnt let her and i would never bring her to a place like this"

They were always amazed by the fact we would at that point get up and walk away

So just to sum up and give you marrieds a few tips ta get meets

Be truthful but keep your bloody heads down and one thing that keeps cropping up lately is the saying well couples swing because their partner cant satisfy them or similar, deadly line that one dont use it lol

(yep some use it and similar in forums and even in emails to couples)

No one (and remember in swinging women are in charge and DONT forget that one)Likes a bragger and especially if that bragger seems to be bragging they are cheating no matter how they say it

(for the majority of couples its all about trust and emotional faithfulness)

Why open yourself up to criticism?

My experiences are my own but other couples have their reasons and _iews on the subject

I hope this thread has gone some way to explaining and helping you maybe understand why some are not as helpful on your threads as you would like

Good luck "

The only thing we really take issue with you about here is your assertion that 'in swinging women are in charge". If we met a swinging couple with one of them being ' in charge' ' we'd consider their relationship to be dysfunctional. As far as we are concerned, neither of us, or both of us, is in charge, and that is the way it should be .

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By *landPeggyCouple
over a year ago

Holland !


"As far as we are concerned, neither of us, or both of us, is in charge, and that is the way it should be ."

Heh, IOHR ( In Our Humble Relationship ) Peg sets all the rules, and is always the first to break them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"P.s Soapy maybe you should have entitled the thread "married single males".....i think its a smidgeon one sided....males get told to be honest and not hide anything, yet married single women are applauded for not saying anything and being "discreet"....no balance there as far as i can see "

It was actually aimed at the threads

But point taken xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

The only thing we really take issue with you about here is your assertion that 'in swinging women are in charge". If we met a swinging couple with one of them being ' in charge' ' we'd consider their relationship to be dysfunctional. As far as we are concerned, neither of us, or both of us, is in charge, and that is the way it should be ."

This bit was a little toungue in cheek however ive usually found that women have a bigger say and usually the final say too however thats my experience of the couples ive met and the things ive known

I wasnt saying its universal xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant Soapy, to be honest, am getting annoyed at the number of cheaters constantly messaging me as it seems to have increased lately, couple that with a very poor score of 8/10 single guys being complete idiots, am getting really fed up with the members on this site and thinking maybe I will just meet at clubs, and just stick to my sexy friend with benefits

Personally I don't care and have no interest in why they cheat, its right to say it isn't any of our business, I do find it offensive when they claim to say they are genuine, trustworthy and honest because they certainly aren't to their wives are they

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We were lucky.. Because, I Mr New, am bi and open about it and really thought hard over the years about why my previous relationships never worked I wrote down what makes me tick.

I wanted a partner I could totally be at ease with, open with, love and lust after, and then look to the shared future together. we could discuss porn as much as we could discuss how nice Pinot Noir is

I had a first date with Mrs New , I met her in the vanilla world, and then I opened up totally to her, about the lot, basically saying my previous relationships suffered because of my interest and sexuality.

And she stayed talking to me and then we kissed for the first time. Five years later we are engaged, madly in live with each other and as you can see from our verifications, we get naughty now and again"

Aw isn't that lovely, and portrays a true relationship, one built on honesty and communication

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fantastic Post Soapy! x Honesty is the best policy always, no two ways about it! x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Fantastic Post Soapy! x Honesty is the best policy always, no two ways about it! x"

Aye honesty is the best policy

Fair enough you may not get as much choice of meets but they will be quality if things like that and also things like if you hide the fact you are bi also are out in the open and above board xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this was such a honest _iew and i agree with you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember being in chams once and i was talking to a guy and he got onto his mrs and i asked him if she knew he came here and he said no so i said have you not asked her if she wants to come she may like it and he said, theres no way id have al these guys in here fucking my wife so i said but its ok for you to fuck theirs? and his reply was well thats what we're here for

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