FabSwingers.com forum: Moaning about message quantities

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I get that the level of messages some ladies get can’t be fun

However

How would you feel if the messages stopped?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

So the only options are a zillion messages or none?

I hear there's this thing between black and white, called grey...

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

i dont moan about messages!!! but then as a pair of old farts very few message us!!!! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We hardly get 10 messages a week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After I blocked men and TVs, my messages stopped completely! Should have been born gay, I'd be so much more in demand!

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"We hardly get 10 messages a week

wow and your damn sexy young things!!!! no fecking hope for us old biddies!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So the only options are a zillion messages or none?

I hear there's this thing between black and white, called grey... "

Sigh

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I use message filters to stop getting them from certain profiles,I doubt I'd be swamped anyway though.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"So the only options are a zillion messages or none?

I hear there's this thing between black and white, called grey...

Sigh "

Why sigh?

Should I be grateful waking up to 100+ cum drain my ballz baebs? I don't want any of that.

Guys act like we should be grateful for any attention we get, no matter how stupid, offensive, or abusive. No. Messages I don't want are just a burden.

If my messages dried up I'd message myself. If that didn't work I'd try other methods. If that didn't work I'd wank.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I use message filters to stop getting them from certain profiles,I doubt I'd be swamped anyway though."

You would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I changed my heading recently to try to cut down on the amount of mail I get and I have to say it worked a treat. It's like a breath of fresh air. I now make contact with the people I'm interested in.

I think the message system is flawed and an option to completely close your mailbox to everyone would be a good idea. Perhaps a message saying something like "this person is not accepting mail at present please try again later". This would give women a break if they felt they needed it as sometimes a lot of mail can get on your nerves. Especially from people who arent what you're looking for.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

My problem is, I am looking to meet (although for awhile I had a similar heading and oh the abuse I got!). I just wish there were less and that people bothered to read/ message me in particular.

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"I changed my heading recently to try to cut down on the amount of mail I get and I have to say it worked a treat. It's like a breath of fresh air. I now make contact with the people I'm interested in.

That’s a very good idea.

It makes the messaging status quite clear.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So the only options are a zillion messages or none?

I hear there's this thing between black and white, called grey...

Sigh

Why sigh?

Should I be grateful waking up to 100+ cum drain my ballz baebs? I don't want any of that.

Guys act like we should be grateful for any attention we get, no matter how stupid, offensive, or abusive. No. Messages I don't want are just a burden.

If my messages dried up I'd message myself. If that didn't work I'd try other methods. If that didn't work I'd wank. "

If it makes you so unhappy!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My problem is, I am looking to meet (although for awhile I had a similar heading and oh the abuse I got!). I just wish there were less and that people bothered to read/ message me in particular. "

I havent had any abuse since I changed it and I do still meet but I'm now in control. I send the messages to people who meet my requirements.

What it has done is cut out all the guys who have an insta-shag attitude and let's face it that's who most of the unwanted mail comes from.

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By *il73Woman
over a year ago

Hyde

I hid my profile...and now only get messages from guys i already know

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By *unningFoxWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I don’t think there is a problem of amount of messages but with quality of them. Most of them are delete and block kind of thing. I would prefer if there would be like 3 questions to answer before sending message. Person can enter 3 questions themselves and if right options/ answers are clicked message will be delivered.

Most of time waste is when I’m 5’11 and I at best would go with someone 5’10 maybe 5’9 but most messages I receive are from guys under 5’9 time waste for everyone. For guy who took time to write or paste message and for me to read, check out profile, answer or block, delete message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After I blocked men and TVs, my messages stopped completely! Should have been born gay, I'd be so much more in demand!"

If you identify as bisexual it has a very similar effect. Seems they only want straight fellas

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By *irl1234xxxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

The amount of messages that I get aren’t my problem.

I read most and reply when I can.

My problem is the rudeness from guys when you say no thanks or not asking no for an answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My current profile puts most off and the messages I do receive are of a significantly higher quality, generally. It’s very easy to filter out those who haven’t read it now!

Before the ‘I’m looking for a life partner’ rewrite I usually blocked men and searched out who I fancied. It made my fab experience much more fun. So, if the messages stopped I’d just go back to that.

Very few women actually WANT sixty or more ‘Gorgeous! Stunning! Wanna chat?’ messages every single night from faceless torso and cock avatars.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think I've gone through and ether blocked or responded back to all the guys lol

Took a while

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"So the only options are a zillion messages or none?

I hear there's this thing between black and white, called grey...

Sigh

Why sigh?

Should I be grateful waking up to 100+ cum drain my ballz baebs? I don't want any of that.

Guys act like we should be grateful for any attention we get, no matter how stupid, offensive, or abusive. No. Messages I don't want are just a burden.

If my messages dried up I'd message myself. If that didn't work I'd try other methods. If that didn't work I'd wank.

If it makes you so unhappy!!!!"

I'm making the best I can of a less than ideal situation. I can't quality control my messages, so here I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree the message system is flawed. All you hear is women wanting this wanting that on your message, so many shouty profiles about how much they dont like this or that, so you read the profiles and Construct a thoughtful, particular, funny, relevant, sexy, polite, complimentary (or all of the above) message and what happens? Zero. Its really quite deflating. No wonder guys just send out any old shite as its a lot easier to type as like every woman on here guys also don't have the time to construct rabbie burns for every woman for it to be deleted on ignored. There needs to be a better system of filtering out the shite messages that offend so much, so I guess that would enable nice messages to be viewed instead.. Yes purely a numbers game, so many guys, blah blah. Just window shopping.. :-/

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By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

I will never complain about receiving a message. Happy to receive....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So the only options are a zillion messages or none?

I hear there's this thing between black and white, called grey...

Sigh

Why sigh?

Should I be grateful waking up to 100+ cum drain my ballz baebs? I don't want any of that.

Guys act like we should be grateful for any attention we get, no matter how stupid, offensive, or abusive. No. Messages I don't want are just a burden.

If my messages dried up I'd message myself. If that didn't work I'd try other methods. If that didn't work I'd wank.

If it makes you so unhappy!!!!

I'm making the best I can of a less than ideal situation. I can't quality control my messages, so here I am. "

Fair play

You seem to make the best of the messages you get

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the only options are a zillion messages or none?

I hear there's this thing between black and white, called grey...

Sigh

Why sigh?

Should I be grateful waking up to 100+ cum drain my ballz baebs? I don't want any of that.

Guys act like we should be grateful for any attention we get, no matter how stupid, offensive, or abusive. No. Messages I don't want are just a burden.

If my messages dried up I'd message myself. If that didn't work I'd try other methods. If that didn't work I'd wank. "

I'm guessing the sigh is because s certain question was asked and in typically fab style the question was ignored and directed towards a different angle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get that the level of messages some ladies get can’t be fun

However

How would you feel if the messages stopped?"

most messages i get are respectful and nice but i have filters and i find these help immensely

if they stopped so be it, im not forcing people to message me or wink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we are active on the forums we can get 20-30 a day. If not around 10 a week.

Changing our status brings the most in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If we are active on the forums we can get 20-30 a day. If not around 10 a week.

Changing our status brings the most in.

We’ll take the changing status idea on board as we’re lucky to get more than 3 a week lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If we are active on the forums we can get 20-30 a day. If not around 10 a week.

Changing our status brings the most in.

We’ll take the changing status idea on board as we’re lucky to get more than 3 a week lol"

They are not always positive messages, should have mentioned that part

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If we are active on the forums we can get 20-30 a day. If not around 10 a week.

Changing our status brings the most in.

We’ll take the changing status idea on board as we’re lucky to get more than 3 a week lol

They are not always positive messages, should have mentioned that part

Btw, not sure why you don’t you’re a good looking couple!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ones that moan about single males could always block them and do the searching for themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The ones that moan about single males could always block them and do the searching for themselves.

What,and ruin the chance of a good whinge?

Don't be ridiculous b

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The ones that moan about single males could always block them and do the searching for themselves.

What,and ruin the chance of a good whinge?

Don't be ridiculous b

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe there needs to be an element of functionality from Bumble, the dating app.

There, both people must match, but only the woman can message the guy, and only when there is a match.

I’ve no idea how it could be implemented on here, but I think there does need to be a way to curb the amount of tosh that people send to one another, so much of it is just drivel and useless.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

You do realise that we might have tried various strategies already? How about that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There, both people must match, but only the woman can message the guy, and only when there is a match.

prefer it how it is 50/50

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

Can you not set your profile to hidden during those times?

I'm pretty sure you can still continue messaging people you are already in contact with and post in the forums with your profile set to hidden.

I had a female friend who used to stay hidden while offline so she would never be greeted with 60 odd messages (some very odd

) every time she logged in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you not set your profile to hidden during those times?

I'm pretty sure you can still continue messaging people you are already in contact with and post in the forums with your profile set to hidden.

I had a female friend who used to stay hidden while offline so she would never be greeted with 60 odd messages (some very odd

) every time she logged in"

I could but as you say hiding my profile doesnt stop mail from anyone who has previously messaged. Sometimes people just want a complete break from messages and that includes people they know and normally chat with.

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

No quite what I meant.

I have a friend (on her friends list) who has hidden her profile as she's on an extended break from the site

I can't send her any new messages but (I hink at least) I could reply to messages she has sent me.

So in other words ongoing conversations can continue - new ones cannot start

make sense?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So the only options are a zillion messages or none?

I hear there's this thing between black and white, called grey...

Sigh

Why sigh?

Should I be grateful waking up to 100+ cum drain my ballz baebs? I don't want any of that.

Guys act like we should be grateful for any attention we get, no matter how stupid, offensive, or abusive. No. Messages I don't want are just a burden.

If my messages dried up I'd message myself. If that didn't work I'd try other methods. If that didn't work I'd wank.

I'm guessing the sigh is because s certain question was asked and in typically fab style the question was ignored and directed towards a different angle

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Men in my area have mostly given up messaging me, so I only get a few crap messages daily here.

Win Win situation

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Men in my area have mostly given up messaging me, so I only get a few crap messages daily here.

Win Win situation

Why don’t they message you ?

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Men in my area have mostly given up messaging me, so I only get a few crap messages daily here.

Win Win situation

Why don’t they message you ?"

Because they know their profile is shite, they only have cock pics and I forewarn them in my profile that they wont get a response

(If they bother reading it that is)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If people delete Men off the looking for list it takes their profile off the searches and reduces mail to almost none.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get that the level of messages some ladies get can’t be fun

However

How would you feel if the messages stopped?"

I love it. My inbox is empty.

It's really not difficult to get it that way.

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

"I get that the level of messages some ladies get can’t be fun

However

How would you feel if the messages stopped?"

Stopped really what and make sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the only options are a zillion messages or none?

I hear there's this thing between black and white, called grey... "

True, and you can block single men and send messages yourself, try it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Men in my area have mostly given up messaging me, so I only get a few crap messages daily here.

Win Win situation

Why don’t they message you ?

Because they know their profile is shite, they only have cock pics and I forewarn them in my profile that they wont get a response

(If they bother reading it that is)"

Wow, and you think they are the reasons you don’t get any messages?

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Men in my area have mostly given up messaging me, so I only get a few crap messages daily here.

Win Win situation

Why don’t they message you ?

Because they know their profile is shite, they only have cock pics and I forewarn them in my profile that they wont get a response

(If they bother reading it that is)

Wow, and you think they are the reasons you don’t get any messages?

I didn't say I didn't get messages just that many men have tried frequently to gain my attention, but they never change their approach, so then they give up.

And yes, my profile is blunt enough to stop many from messaging for a reason, it works for me, so no complaints here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Men in my area have mostly given up messaging me, so I only get a few crap messages daily here.

Win Win situation

Why don’t they message you ?

Because they know their profile is shite, they only have cock pics and I forewarn them in my profile that they wont get a response

(If they bother reading it that is)

Wow, and you think they are the reasons you don’t get any messages?

I didn't say I didn't get messages just that many men have tried frequently to gain my attention, but they never change their approach, so then they give up.

And yes, my profile is blunt enough to stop many from messaging for a reason, it works for me, so no complaints here

Fair enough, there could be other reasons why men don’t message you?

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By *dventurous fellaMan
over a year ago

where

"So the only options are a zillion messages or none?

I hear there's this thing between black and white, called grey...

Sigh

Why sigh?

Should I be grateful waking up to 100+ cum drain my ballz baebs? I don't want any of that.

Guys act like we should be grateful for any attention we get, no matter how stupid, offensive, or abusive. No. Messages I don't want are just a burden.

If my messages dried up I'd message myself. If that didn't work I'd try other methods. If that didn't work I'd wank. "

Love this

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By *mm and HerCouple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

"If we are active on the forums we can get 20-30 a day. If not around 10 a week.

Changing our status brings the most in.

We’ll take the changing status idea on board as we’re lucky to get more than 3 a week lol"

...or 3 a month!

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By *arkmanMan
over a year ago

hounslow

What’s a message........?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the only options are a zillion messages or none?

I hear there's this thing between black and white, called grey...

Sigh

Why sigh?

Should I be grateful waking up to 100+ cum drain my ballz baebs? I don't want any of that.

Guys act like we should be grateful for any attention we get, no matter how stupid, offensive, or abusive. No. Messages I don't want are just a burden.

If my messages dried up I'd message myself. If that didn't work I'd try other methods. If that didn't work I'd wank.

I'm guessing the sigh is because s certain question was asked and in typically fab style the question was ignored and directed towards a different angle

"
Yup

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get that the level of messages some ladies get can’t be fun

However

How would you feel if the messages stopped?"
deflated,forlorn,rambunctious, desolate, unwanted and

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get that the level of messages some ladies get can’t be fun

However

How would you feel if the messages stopped?deflated,forlorn,rambunctious, desolate, unwanted and "

Most single men say that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I get that the level of messages some ladies get can’t be fun

However

How would you feel if the messages stopped?

Stopped really what and make sense

Ironically you say make sense when you don’t

What is it with Mancs ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont get loads but to be fair you can tell most of those haven't read my profile

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

Would love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't complain about the ones i get now, or the volume of them so it wouldn't bother me at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't complain about the ones i get now, or the volume of them so it wouldn't bother me at all"

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