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How do I break the subject?

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By *dd269 OP   Man
over a year ago

Clee

I've been a secret swinger for a few years, and now I'd like to bring my wife to a club. She likes sex a lot, ad I'm sure she would like swinging, but she's very moral and monogamous and if I get the intro wrong it would wreck our marriage.

How should I break the idea to her initially? My greatest fear is getting to the door, and someone says "great to see you again", or something like that which lets the cat out of the bag. Suggestions please?

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

close this account, find out what your wifes desires and fantasies are, embark on a journey of mutual pleasure instead of just thinking about your own needs...you never know, you might enjoy it.

Btw you havnt been a secret swinger, you have been an adulterer.

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By *andS66Couple
over a year ago

Derby


"close this account, find out what your wifes desires and fantasies are, embark on a journey of mutual pleasure instead of just thinking about your own needs...you never know, you might enjoy it.

Btw you havnt been a secret swinger, you have been an adulterer."

Totally agree with you.....and this is the Man of the couple speaking.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"close this account, find out what your wifes desires and fantasies are, embark on a journey of mutual pleasure instead of just thinking about your own needs...you never know, you might enjoy it.

Btw you havnt been a secret swinger, you have been an adulterer.

Totally agree with you.....and this is the Man of the couple speaking."

lol kevs stronger on this than me...some men do have morals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Truthful answer??

Dont unless you think its worth risking your marriage

The truth always outs

Give it up for a few years and concentrate on her get your sex life to such a pitch and open it up to more and more ideas

Do it slowly and it might work

Give the swinging scene a wide birth and give people time to forget you

Then both try if by that time you have convinced her

But to be truthful from what you have said you will need a lot of luck

I feel for your wife and i wish her luck that you get it right whatever you do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"close this account, find out what your wifes desires and fantasies are, embark on a journey of mutual pleasure instead of just thinking about your own needs...you never know, you might enjoy it.

Btw you havnt been a secret swinger, you have been an adulterer."

Totally agree.

Oh and one other point to the OP - You mention you have been a secret swinger for years?

Imagine the fun you will have taking your wife to a club for the first time and having people coming up to going "Hello mate, great to see you again. Who's the lucky lady you brought with you?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

haha this has divorce wrote all over it

dont think for one second shes going to turn around and be impressed your a swinger and gone behind her back numerous times and want her to now join in!

even if shes interested your probs history after breaking it to her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so, is it really guilt that makes you want to share the experience with her ?

don't mean that in a nasty way, but having once gone down that path myself, it is one that i never wish to tread again

which is why my OH knows fully about my sexuality and whilst i wouldn't say she is 'happy' with it, she accepts my need to express it rather than stifle it

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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

I think you might want to approach the bi curious aspect first before the swinging

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By *ooseLipsWoman
over a year ago

Durham-ish


"I've been a secret swinger for a few years, and now I'd like to bring my wife to a club. She likes sex a lot, ad I'm sure she would like swinging, but she's very moral and monogamous and if I get the intro wrong it would wreck our marriage.

How should I break the idea to her initially? My greatest fear is getting to the door, and someone says "great to see you again", or something like that which lets the cat out of the bag. Suggestions please?"

What's to say she has been a secret swinger for years too

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"so, is it really guilt that makes you want to share the experience with her ?

don't mean that in a nasty way, but having once gone down that path myself, it is one that i never wish to tread again

which is why my OH knows fully about my sexuality and whilst i wouldn't say she is 'happy' with it, she accepts my need to express it rather than stifle it

"

i had this option when i wanted to explore my sub side. There were plenty of men willing to Dom me "on the side" as it were. Having OH's who accept our sexuality is a great thing, and something i am eternally grateful for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think you should, putting the morality aside.. You're asking how to change a persons views on sex and marriage... Is she not happy with her sex life? Why does she need to change?

I think it's a really risky move to attempt, that's assuming you don't want to be found out....

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

Don't worry about it, she's been a swinger for years too and as a single lady she has been having loads of fun! Say nothing as you'll just spoil her fun as you obviously don't do it for her. Well, if you need to look elsewhere she must need to too? Z

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Discuss your fanaties and then see if she fancies doing any for real.

Delete your profile as I doubt if she will be amused you being on here already.

Unless you want to confess the life you have been leading, then avoid anywhere you have been before if your wife decides to join you.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

PS swingers still have morals.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"PS swingers still have morals."

..... and TRUST, one of the biggest things I have noticed between couples who swing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why i believe half of a couple are wrong to swing on their own. Always best to do things as one that way your in it togerther and noone gets hurt x good luck to you both x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

or if they swing on their own they both know what they are doing rather than one just being a swinger and the other dont have a clue lol! not nice to find out you been living in that bubble! reminds me of a quote from one of my favourite films!

"True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"PS swingers still have morals.

..... and TRUST, one of the biggest things I have noticed between couples who swing. "

+ 1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Leave your wife so that she can find a better man-ie one who doesn't sneak around behind her back.

And this is the male half of this couple speaking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Leave your wife so that she can find a better man-ie one who doesn't sneak around behind her back.

And this is the male half of this couple speaking."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why i believe half of a couple are wrong to swing on their own. Always best to do things as one that way your in it togerther and noone gets hurt x good luck to you both x "

We swing separately and always will because we enjoy different things (but we both know when where and who with

we have the odd bi mmf together but other than that its separate)

But the problem lies if the other partner knows nothing about it and is convinced their partner is monogamous and faithful

It sometimes does happen in swinging relationships that one partner isnt aware of the extent the other swings i have come across this before but thankfully its rare

Truth and honesty is paramount to me and mine

Im always saddened when i see someone using the swinging scene to cheat and be unfaithful to their partner

They may see it as not being unfaithful because they rarely see the same meet twice

However it is still being unfaithful which ever way you look at it and to use the swinging scene to somehow justify it is completely out of order in my book

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"close this account, find out what your wifes desires and fantasies are, embark on a journey of mutual pleasure instead of just thinking about your own needs...you never know, you might enjoy it.

Btw you havnt been a secret swinger, you have been an adulterer."

An adulterer :-: Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.

He is and he would be joined by all the people who are married and swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"close this account, find out what your wifes desires and fantasies are, embark on a journey of mutual pleasure instead of just thinking about your own needs...you never know, you might enjoy it.

Btw you havnt been a secret swinger, you have been an adulterer.

An adulterer :-: Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.

He is and he would be joined by all the people who are married and swinging. "

A crude way of trying to justify cheating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"close this account, find out what your wifes desires and fantasies are, embark on a journey of mutual pleasure instead of just thinking about your own needs...you never know, you might enjoy it.

Btw you havnt been a secret swinger, you have been an adulterer.

An adulterer :-: Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.

He is and he would be joined by all the people who are married and swinging.

A crude way of trying to justify cheating"

No its a quote from the dictionary and factually correct. In the eyes of the law all married swingers are in fact adulterers. It is the correct word to use.

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By *illyFischerMan
over a year ago

sale

I would maybe incorporate it into a holiday soewhere completely neutral. She may or may not enjoy it. At least you are bringing something to the table !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"close this account, find out what your wifes desires and fantasies are, embark on a journey of mutual pleasure instead of just thinking about your own needs...you never know, you might enjoy it.

Btw you havnt been a secret swinger, you have been an adulterer.

An adulterer :-: Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.

He is and he would be joined by all the people who are married and swinging.

A crude way of trying to justify cheating"

Oh and i made no attempt to justify anything i was just addressing facts. Are you a man without sin?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i know but what most people are saying its the dishonesty not the swinging what is the fault.

every relationship has its own rules! swinging may bend them, but when you bend them without the other half knowing thats where the problem lies for most people!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"close this account, find out what your wifes desires and fantasies are, embark on a journey of mutual pleasure instead of just thinking about your own needs...you never know, you might enjoy it.

Btw you havnt been a secret swinger, you have been an adulterer.

An adulterer :-: Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.

He is and he would be joined by all the people who are married and swinging.

A crude way of trying to justify cheating

No its a quote from the dictionary and factually correct. In the eyes of the law all married swingers are in fact adulterers. It is the correct word to use."

Yes but you know as well as i the definition between a loving swing trusting relationship is completely different to going behind your partners back

Yes the dictionary definition is that ill grant you and its also that in the eyes of the law

But to compare a cheat with a swinging couple is totally wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"close this account, find out what your wifes desires and fantasies are, embark on a journey of mutual pleasure instead of just thinking about your own needs...you never know, you might enjoy it.

Btw you havnt been a secret swinger, you have been an adulterer.

An adulterer :-: Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.

He is and he would be joined by all the people who are married and swinging.

A crude way of trying to justify cheating

Oh and i made no attempt to justify anything i was just addressing facts. Are you a man without sin? "

Of course im not ive even had an affair

But in your first statement you classed swinging couples in loving relationships along with people who cheat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"close this account, find out what your wifes desires and fantasies are, embark on a journey of mutual pleasure instead of just thinking about your own needs...you never know, you might enjoy it.

Btw you havnt been a secret swinger, you have been an adulterer.

An adulterer :-: Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.

He is and he would be joined by all the people who are married and swinging.

A crude way of trying to justify cheating

No its a quote from the dictionary and factually correct. In the eyes of the law all married swingers are in fact adulterers. It is the correct word to use.

Yes but you know as well as i the definition between a loving swing trusting relationship is completely different to going behind your partners back

Yes the dictionary definition is that ill grant you and its also that in the eyes of the law

But to compare a cheat with a swinging couple is totally wrong "

Now your are at odds with what i said i didn't mention cheating i was addressing the word adultery and what it legally meant. Are swingers any more trusting than the general public? From personal experience they are less trusting but that's another issue. The fact is a married swinger having sex with someone other than their partner is committing adultery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"close this account, find out what your wifes desires and fantasies are, embark on a journey of mutual pleasure instead of just thinking about your own needs...you never know, you might enjoy it.

Btw you havnt been a secret swinger, you have been an adulterer.

An adulterer :-: Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.

He is and he would be joined by all the people who are married and swinging.

A crude way of trying to justify cheating

Oh and i made no attempt to justify anything i was just addressing facts. Are you a man without sin?

Of course im not ive even had an affair

But in your first statement you classed swinging couples in loving relationships along with people who cheat"

No i didn't i used the word adultery not cheating do you struggle with reading?

Please read again more carefully then you will understand what i put.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"close this account, find out what your wifes desires and fantasies are, embark on a journey of mutual pleasure instead of just thinking about your own needs...you never know, you might enjoy it.

Btw you havnt been a secret swinger, you have been an adulterer.

An adulterer :-: Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.

He is and he would be joined by all the people who are married and swinging.

A crude way of trying to justify cheating

No its a quote from the dictionary and factually correct. In the eyes of the law all married swingers are in fact adulterers. It is the correct word to use.

Yes but you know as well as i the definition between a loving swing trusting relationship is completely different to going behind your partners back

Yes the dictionary definition is that ill grant you and its also that in the eyes of the law

But to compare a cheat with a swinging couple is totally wrong

Now your are at odds with what i said i didn't mention cheating i was addressing the word adultery and what it legally meant. Are swingers any more trusting than the general public? From personal experience they are less trusting but that's another issue. The fact is a married swinger having sex with someone other than their partner is committing adultery. "

And i agreed with that read back at what i actually wrote all my posts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"close this account, find out what your wifes desires and fantasies are, embark on a journey of mutual pleasure instead of just thinking about your own needs...you never know, you might enjoy it.

Btw you havnt been a secret swinger, you have been an adulterer.

An adulterer :-: Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.

He is and he would be joined by all the people who are married and swinging.

A crude way of trying to justify cheating

No its a quote from the dictionary and factually correct. In the eyes of the law all married swingers are in fact adulterers. It is the correct word to use.

Yes but you know as well as i the definition between a loving swing trusting relationship is completely different to going behind your partners back

Yes the dictionary definition is that ill grant you and its also that in the eyes of the law

But to compare a cheat with a swinging couple is totally wrong

Now your are at odds with what i said i didn't mention cheating i was addressing the word adultery and what it legally meant. Are swingers any more trusting than the general public? From personal experience they are less trusting but that's another issue. The fact is a married swinger having sex with someone other than their partner is committing adultery.

And i agreed with that read back at what i actually wrote all my posts"

I did read and you misquoted using the word cheating instead of adultery and the words are not used to describe the same thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I did read and you misquoted using the word cheating instead of adultery and the words are not used to describe the same thing. "

In your opinion yes and i respect your opinion

In my opinion they are the same thing

I shall agree to differ on that technicality

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I did read and you misquoted using the word cheating instead of adultery and the words are not used to describe the same thing.

In your opinion yes and i respect your opinion

In my opinion they are the same thing

I shall agree to differ on that technicality"

They are NOT the same thing but I can tell you have a problem with the word adulterer. Grasp it with both hands and embrace it as its just a word.

And for your information you can commit adultery but not be cheating as you are committing adultery with your partners consent.

You can also cheat without committing adultery if you are not legally married to your partner.

Why on earth you picked fault if you agreed with what i was saying says a lot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I did read and you misquoted using the word cheating instead of adultery and the words are not used to describe the same thing.

In your opinion yes and i respect your opinion

In my opinion they are the same thing

I shall agree to differ on that technicality

They are NOT the same thing but I can tell you have a problem with the word adulterer. Grasp it with both hands and embrace it as its just a word.

And for your information you can commit adultery but not be cheating as you are committing adultery with your partners consent.

You can also cheat without committing adultery if you are not legally married to your partner.

Why on earth you picked fault if you agreed with what i was saying says a lot."

Ok you cant or wont see my point end of matter as far as im concerned

Oh and ive just noticed you asked if I struggle with reading?

I could ask the same thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I did read and you misquoted using the word cheating instead of adultery and the words are not used to describe the same thing.

In your opinion yes and i respect your opinion

In my opinion they are the same thing

I shall agree to differ on that technicality

They are NOT the same thing but I can tell you have a problem with the word adulterer. Grasp it with both hands and embrace it as its just a word.

And for your information you can commit adultery but not be cheating as you are committing adultery with your partners consent.

You can also cheat without committing adultery if you are not legally married to your partner.

Why on earth you picked fault if you agreed with what i was saying says a lot.

Ok you cant or wont see my point end of matter as far as im concerned

Oh and ive just noticed you asked if I struggle with reading?

I could ask the same thing"

You have no point as adultery is clearly defined in a dictionary. You obviously don't like the word adultery and have difficulty with it being another word for swinging as cock is for penis. When you swing then I frankly do not see why people try and take a moral high ground.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

You have no point as adultery is clearly defined in a dictionary. You obviously don't like the word adultery and have difficulty with it being another word for swinging as cock is for penis. When you swing then I frankly do not see why people try and take a moral high ground."

And who exactly is taking the moral high ground??

My last and final word on the subject

Your quote that i picked up on was..

.

An adulterer :-: Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.

He is and he would be joined by all the people who are married and swinging.

Your last sentence in my opion as i said MY opinion (because as ive made quite clear in back posts i class adultery and cheating as the same)

You said he is joined by all the marrieds who swing did you not??

Now taking into account that I and many others i know class adultery and cheating as the same thing i read your post rightly or wrongly as insinuation that married swingers cheat

If you meant it any other way then i apologise that it did NOT read that way to me

I actually stick up regularly for single males that are married

However i do take unbridge with males that splash it about on the forums and seem to think its big and clever to ask NON cheating swingers how they broach the subject with their wives

Especially when its pretty obvious that their wives KNOW nothing

Swinging with the majority of couples on this site is a trust and respect issue

And to put it as you originally did did not read right to me

As ive said i will agree to differ with you as i respect your opinon even if quite obviously you strongly disagree with mine

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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

I thought adultery in law was the above BUT with added phrase.

"and that you find it intolerable to live with your spouse"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So true! Why be all secrative when you know your wife is very faitful. I agree with the ladies here close your account and work on what you have, if she is a very sexual lady Im sure she will do anything to satisfy you since she loves you so much. But do not force her into anything she isnt comfortable with she will resent and hate you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

You have no point as adultery is clearly defined in a dictionary. You obviously don't like the word adultery and have difficulty with it being another word for swinging as cock is for penis. When you swing then I frankly do not see why people try and take a moral high ground.

And who exactly is taking the moral high ground??

My last and final word on the subject

Your quote that i picked up on was..

.

An adulterer :-: Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.

He is and he would be joined by all the people who are married and swinging.

Your last sentence in my opion as i said MY opinion (because as ive made quite clear in back posts i class adultery and cheating as the same)

You said he is joined by all the marrieds who swing did you not??

Now taking into account that I and many others i know class adultery and cheating as the same thing i read your post rightly or wrongly as insinuation that married swingers cheat

If you meant it any other way then i apologise that it did NOT read that way to me

I actually stick up regularly for single males that are married

However i do take unbridge with males that splash it about on the forums and seem to think its big and clever to ask NON cheating swingers how they broach the subject with their wives

Especially when its pretty obvious that their wives KNOW nothing

Swinging with the majority of couples on this site is a trust and respect issue

And to put it as you originally did did not read right to me

As ive said i will agree to differ with you as i respect your opinon even if quite obviously you strongly disagree with mine "

I think you are trying to make me think a wolf is a sheep just because it has a sheepskin coat on. Mine was not an opinion it as facts i was quoting there is a difference.

Now if you have an issue with what married men do take it up with them my comments were on a word the word was adultery it would help if you took that information on board.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I think you are trying to make me think a wolf is a sheep just because it has a sheepskin coat on. Mine was not an opinion it as facts i was quoting there is a difference.

Now if you have an issue with what married men do take it up with them my comments were on a word the word was adultery it would help if you took that information on board."

Therefore using your logic you carry on having sex with adulterers and ill carry on having sex with couples that respect each other

That way we can both be happy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I think you are trying to make me think a wolf is a sheep just because it has a sheepskin coat on. Mine was not an opinion it as facts i was quoting there is a difference.

Now if you have an issue with what married men do take it up with them my comments were on a word the word was adultery it would help if you took that information on board.

Therefore using your logic you carry on having sex with adulterers and ill carry on having sex with couples that respect each other

That way we can both be happy"

As you like quoting me i will quote you so there is some balance.

"My last and final word on the subject" Err it wasn't.

Also yes you are having sex with adulterers and I have not once said there is anything wrong with that. My point of view was its strange for it to be used on a swinging site where essentially all the married people are doing so.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"

I think you are trying to make me think a wolf is a sheep just because it has a sheepskin coat on. Mine was not an opinion it as facts i was quoting there is a difference.

Now if you have an issue with what married men do take it up with them my comments were on a word the word was adultery it would help if you took that information on board.

Therefore using your logic you carry on having sex with adulterers and ill carry on having sex with couples that respect each other

That way we can both be happy

As you like quoting me i will quote you so there is some balance.

"My last and final word on the subject" Err it wasn't.

Also yes you are having sex with adulterers and I have not once said there is anything wrong with that. My point of view was its strange for it to be used on a swinging site where essentially all the married people are doing so. "

you really dont have a clue what swinging is do you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I think you are trying to make me think a wolf is a sheep just because it has a sheepskin coat on. Mine was not an opinion it as facts i was quoting there is a difference.

Now if you have an issue with what married men do take it up with them my comments were on a word the word was adultery it would help if you took that information on board.

Therefore using your logic you carry on having sex with adulterers and ill carry on having sex with couples that respect each other

That way we can both be happy

As you like quoting me i will quote you so there is some balance.

"My last and final word on the subject" Err it wasn't.

Also yes you are having sex with adulterers and I have not once said there is anything wrong with that. My point of view was its strange for it to be used on a swinging site where essentially all the married people are doing so.

you really dont have a clue what swinging is do you? "

I do actually what a childish thing to say.

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By *dd269 OP   Man
over a year ago

Clee

Suggestion "I think you might want to approach the bi curious aspect first before the swinging" - thank you for this. I did give it a lot of thought.

But I think I need to introduce my wife to swinging first. That's why I started this posting - I wanted your advice before going ahead with the project.

I can introduce my other fetishes one by one later (there are lots). But I need to come out now I think.

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By *landPeggyCouple
over a year ago

Holland !

This thread needs a Venn Diagram.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm thinking about buying a sheepskin jacket

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just ask her about her fantisies if shes open to things then after a converstation or two maybe she will open up to it, if not then i wouldnt really pursue it as think it wouldnt work out very well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"just ask her about her fantisies if shes open to things then after a converstation or two maybe she will open up to it, if not then i wouldnt really pursue it as think it wouldnt work out very well"

...it's only something you're going to know for sure when you do it. So if you think you can handle the potential consequences of having your balls cut off with a rusty breadknife, then take a deep breath and have a very quiet word with her about it...

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FOR A SITE TO BE AL ABOUT FUNN theres alot of upset and pent up emotions being displayed CHEER UP PEEPS sex is good enjoy xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as a mater of being nosey how long have u been wiv ure wife includeing courting before hand TO O P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

IDE LIKE TO KNOW HOW U CAN get maried and potentionaly know nothing about eachother

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

probably a subject to broach while she is riding you.

tell her you would love to be watching her doing whatever or something, see her reaction.

if she is appauled never speak of it again.

if she is receptive then each time, make the fantasy more and more vivid, but its a long long road, and there isnt always a destination, just the journey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does your mrs suspect that you have being playing around/cheating? has she ever accused you of anything? if so then you are giving her ideas about what you have been up to. If I suspected my hubby of playing around and all of a sudden swinging came up then I be suspicious straight away.

You are on very shaky ground, if you are serious about wanting to have fun with her rather than on your own then you need to delete this profile and work on your marriage and spending time with her rather than just thinking of yourself.

The very core of swinging as part of a couple for us are: honesty, trust and being completely in to each other's inner most desire's, if you can't be honest with your wife/partner what is the point of being together never mind wanting to get involved with swinging with her.

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By *ellraisersCouple
over a year ago

Near Glasgow


"Suggestion "I think you might want to approach the bi curious aspect first before the swinging" - thank you for this. I did give it a lot of thought.

But I think I need to introduce my wife to swinging first. That's why I started this posting - I wanted your advice before going ahead with the project.

I can introduce my other fetishes one by one later (there are lots). But I need to come out now I think."

Why do you have to take her to a club? There must be other ways you can introduce her to it. You need to also ask why you now want her to join you rather than you give it up for her!

What's more important to you? Only you know the answer to that.

Fi

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By *waymanMan
over a year ago

newcastle


"close this account, find out what your wifes desires and fantasies are, embark on a journey of mutual pleasure instead of just thinking about your own needs...you never know, you might enjoy it.

Btw you havnt been a secret swinger, you have been an adulterer.

An adulterer :-: Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.

He is and he would be joined by all the people who are married and swinging.

A crude way of trying to justify cheating

No its a quote from the dictionary and factually correct. In the eyes of the law all married swingers are in fact adulterers. It is the correct word to use."

The law has never been a reliable guide in matters of morality

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the OP, were you a swinger prior to marraige, if so, why didn't you broach this subject before marraige that way you could have found out your wifes feelings beforehand.

As a wife who has been totally momogamous throughout our 17 years together, swinging has been something we have discussed for many years as it was always hubbys fantasy. Nothing happened for years as although I found the thought exciting I had valued our relationship too much to risk it, however, now we have included others in our sex life, it has excited, enhanced and made our sex life and relationship stronger.

My point of this is: we talked about the excitement, the fears and the ground rules beforehand. These have been amended as we live and learn but most importantly we can do this because we love and trust each other and there are no secrets.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i know but what most people are saying its the dishonesty not the swinging what is the fault.

every relationship has its own rules! swinging may bend them, but when you bend them without the other half knowing thats where the problem lies for most people!"

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"

I think you are trying to make me think a wolf is a sheep just because it has a sheepskin coat on. Mine was not an opinion it as facts i was quoting there is a difference.

Now if you have an issue with what married men do take it up with them my comments were on a word the word was adultery it would help if you took that information on board.

Therefore using your logic you carry on having sex with adulterers and ill carry on having sex with couples that respect each other

That way we can both be happy

As you like quoting me i will quote you so there is some balance.

"My last and final word on the subject" Err it wasn't.

Also yes you are having sex with adulterers and I have not once said there is anything wrong with that. My point of view was its strange for it to be used on a swinging site where essentially all the married people are doing so.

you really dont have a clue what swinging is do you?

I do actually what a childish thing to say."

Childish...when every post suggests you neither like nor respect couples here who are open and honest and expect the same in return?

Glad i.m a child then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"close this account, find out what your wifes desires and fantasies are, embark on a journey of mutual pleasure instead of just thinking about your own needs...you never know, you might enjoy it.

Btw you havnt been a secret swinger, you have been an adulterer.

An adulterer :-: Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.

He is and he would be joined by all the people who are married and swinging.

A crude way of trying to justify cheating

No its a quote from the dictionary and factually correct. In the eyes of the law all married swingers are in fact adulterers. It is the correct word to use.

The law has never been a reliable guide in matters of morality"

And we all know " the law is an ass!".

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been a secret swinger for a few years, and now I'd like to bring my wife to a club. She likes sex a lot, ad I'm sure she would like swinging, but she's very moral and monogamous and if I get the intro wrong it would wreck our marriage.

How should I break the idea to her initially? My greatest fear is getting to the door, and someone says "great to see you again", or something like that which lets the cat out of the bag. Suggestions please?"

There's always a possibility she suspects (or even knows!) something has been going on, especially if you've been doing this for years...she just might not have wanted to broach it and then had to deal with it.

If not though, and you think she would be upset to learn about you're past then is it really worth suggesting? What's more important to you...swinging or your marriage? Even if she's up for it, how do you think she'll react to what you've been doing for the past few years if she thought you were being faithful? If I were in her shoes, that would be unforgivable...but I don't know how you're wife will react to that, and I doubt you could introduce her to the scene without your past coming up

If you really want to go ahead with it, maybe watch something like wife swap and make some kind of pun to judge how she reacts! Or if she's open to watching porn with you, pick something with group scenes and then you can open a discussion that way. And maybe put all sharp objects somewhere safe!

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By *dd269 OP   Man
over a year ago

Clee

"True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend"

- Magic

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By *dd269 OP   Man
over a year ago

Clee

"...it's only something you're going to know for sure when you do it. So if you think you can handle the potential consequences of having your balls cut off with a rusty breadknife, then take a deep breath and have a very quiet word with her about it... "

Love it - Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm thinking about buying a sheepskin jacket

"

oh what a relief to laugh! thankyou

rather a wolf in sheeps clothing than a boring bear.

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