FabSwingers.com forum: Changing the dynamic when somebody else has invited into the action

By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I find that I can dissolve mentally completely into certain sexual situations, and sometimes if another person is invited in it can change the intensity of the scene. I find this means I'm less likely to welcome somebody else being invited once things have got going, but sometimes that can be a little bit awkward if it's somebody who would like to join and I know well and has joined before in similar situations etc y can be awkward if myself and the other person (or people) are also attracted to the potential joinee but it just feels like the wrong moment due to what's already happening.

Has anybody have found a way to manage situations like that, if you understand what I mean?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I would probably be the same. I'd say before anything got going that I preferred it if nobody was asked to join after we'd all got started. The others could agree or not, I could then make my choice whether to continue or not

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

Recall that at one Swingfields we were playing MMMFF in a small tent when a man started watching us through the flap. No problems with that, but we were all surprised to find he was nude when he tried to join in without invitation. We told him to go away and when he seemed reluctant one of the men kicked him hard with his heel, on which he left.

It did interrupt the play, but we soon got back into it. Afterwards we agreed that some people have either a lot of cheek or are so insensitive and/or arrogant to assume they'd be automatically welcome in a group of people playing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Yes I can understand that. Sometimes people wanting to play but aren't invited is off putting. But it's very difficult if you know the person wanting to join, especially if they have joined in before on other occasions or another person in the group is pushing to get them involved. Sometimes people you've play with before are of that moment and your not nessersarly feeling them this time round. If your like me and my partner you don't like to hurt people's feelings or make them feel left out. But as hard as it is everyone must be comfortable. So you have to just be polite, honest and let them and/or the other participants know that this time your happy as it is and you don't want them to join in. Hopefully they will be respectful and not harbour bad feelings about it. But rejection can be tough for some however understandable and polite you are about it. Everyone's consent and enjoyment is key as an individual, you are not there to provide a play thing to others. So sadly if they are hurt by you saying no, so be it, its just one of those things.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Thank you for your replies, I'm glad people understood what I meant.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely, which is why I am very careful about choosing partners for threesomes and why I so seldom indulge (much as I love being the centre of two men's attention)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find that I can dissolve mentally completely into certain sexual situations, and sometimes if another person is invited in it can change the intensity of the scene. I find this means I'm less likely to welcome somebody else being invited once things have got going, but sometimes that can be a little bit awkward if it's somebody who would like to join and I know well and has joined before in similar situations etc y can be awkward if myself and the other person (or people) are also attracted to the potential joinee but it just feels like the wrong moment due to what's already happening.

Has anybody have found a way to manage situations like that, if you understand what I mean?

It happens to guys too. I’d been fortunate enough to get chatting to a couple and in turn we all chatted to another couple at a club. We chatted for ages. The couples said they were going to find a room, so I expected to wish them well, but to my surprise got invited in. In the time it took me go and get changed, the newest couple had invited some random guy in who thought he was a bit of an Alpha, but was actually just a dick. I could tell everyone thought they’d made a mistake, so I just told them to have fun and left the room after 5 mins. Very awkward.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread