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women get told they shouldn't go after a man or if they come on strong it's un

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Is this true?

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By *019ReadyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

It's what?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eh? And who says this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women shouldn’t make the first move? Is that what you’re asking?

No, I’ve never been told that

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By *irl1234xxxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

It’s what now?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

women get told they shouldn't go after a man or if they come on strong it's unattractive.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So is this true?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" women get told they shouldn't go after a man or if they come on strong it's unattractive."

No, it’s not true. I don’t know anyone that’s been told that.

I know some women think men should make the first move, it’s ‘traditional’ but I reckon they’re insecure and afraid of rejection.

Whenever I’ve approached men I’ve never had complains or been told I come off too strong.

And I know plenty of men who wish women would make the first move more often.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do you ask?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Women of my generation were certainly told that and most of the men I knew believed it too.

Modesty was a virtue and if you read between the lines many people still think this way. A confident woman with high self esteem is often put down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" women get told they shouldn't go after a man or if they come on strong it's unattractive."

Its bollox thats what that is lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I just wanted to find out if women genuinely thought this or had they been raised on this, as alot hold back from making the first move.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just wanted to find out if women genuinely thought this or had they been raised on this, as alot hold back from making the first move. "

Why do you think they hold back on making the first move?

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By *astyEricMan
over a year ago

Hull

One word

bollocks

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I just wanted to find out if women genuinely thought this or had they been raised on this, as alot hold back from making the first move. "

Yes lots of women do think it. However you need to read the signals, lots of women make it clear they like a guy without saying anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, would you like to come to my donkey sanctuary?

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


" women get told they shouldn't go after a man or if they come on strong it's unattractive."

Maybe in 1952.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Why do you think they hold back on making the first move?

(That's the million dollar answer. I think it's a combination of the possible fear of rejection or the unknown. I'm just thinking, what would happen if more women acted upon there feelings and made the first move on men?]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


" women get told they shouldn't go after a man or if they come on strong it's unattractive.

Maybe in 1952."

Well I was born in 1956 maybe that explains why my generation was told this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Why do you think they hold back on making the first move?

(That's the million dollar answer. I think it's a combination of the possible fear of rejection or the unknown. I'm just thinking, what would happen if more women acted upon there feelings and made the first move on men?]

"

But how do you know they are holding back? Have you got female friends that have told you? Or are you just assuming?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

But how do you know they are holding back? Have you got female friends that have told you? Or are you just assuming?

[ this just cane about after speaking to one or two female friends who said they would never make the first move or approach a guy]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/06/19 22:00:16]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But how do you know they are holding back? Have you got female friends that have told you? Or are you just assuming?

[ this just cane about after speaking to one or two female friends who said they would never make the first move or approach a guy]"

Ah, okay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But how do you know they are holding back? Have you got female friends that have told you? Or are you just assuming?

[ this just cane about after speaking to one or two female friends who said they would never make the first move or approach a guy]"

Is this because it says something about women messaging you on your profile and one or two of them have told you that's not how it happens?

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"Women of my generation were certainly told that and most of the men I knew believed it too.

Modesty was a virtue and if you read between the lines many people still think this way. A confident woman with high self esteem is often put down"

You're right there are some people (of both sexes) who still think this, but if that's their mindset they aren't for me anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ah, okay

[we just made me think, if this was the general consensus]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it sexy when a woman comes on strong. Saves time trying to pick up messages from her. And its clear what she wants

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Is this because it says something about women messaging you on your profile and one or two of them have told you that's not how it happens?

[To be honest I have heard it from some women who have messaged me on here but among friends also]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"

Is this because it says something about women messaging you on your profile and one or two of them have told you that's not how it happens?

[To be honest I have heard it from some women who have messaged me on here but among friends also]"

Use the quote button at the bottom of the message you're replying to. We'll know who you're replying to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you click reply+quote you won’t need to copy and paste our messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Damn it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you all. Still getting used to how forums work .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you all. Still getting used to how forums work . "

Quite alright Mr Donkey!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Damn it! "

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By *ilmissplumpyWoman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"I just wanted to find out if women genuinely thought this or had they been raised on this, as alot hold back from making the first move. "

Not after a couple of glasses of wine lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Not after a couple of glasses of wine lol

But would you approach a guy first if he peaked your interest?

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

I found Paul in a coffee shop and very much made the first move. I had to be blatant though as he has no idea when women are flirting with him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I found Paul in a coffee shop and very much made the first move. I had to be blatant though as he has no idea when women are flirting with him."

I'm the same as him lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love it when women make the first move.

Its the time of equality and theres nothing wrong with a women asking for what she wants.

Personally they have to be quite blunt with me though as i dont see myself as the kind of person people are interested in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I found Paul in a coffee shop and very much made the first move. I had to be blatant though as he has no idea when women are flirting with him."

I know a couple of guys like that.

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By *019ReadyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I made the first move with my guy. I'd only consider it unattractive or unbecoming if it hadn't worked haha!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think people today are less influenced by gender stereotypes and prefer people to be themselves

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By *ilmissplumpyWoman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


" Not after a couple of glasses of wine lol

But would you approach a guy first if he peaked your interest?"

At a party a couple of years ago I did exactly that. We had great fun

Lmp

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


" women get told they shouldn't go after a man or if they come on strong it's unattractive."

Who tells em that then?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Bring it on ladies.. what's the worst that can happen..just please be safe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say if you see what you like go for it! Men shouldn't have to make the first move all the time. I mean they must get nervous too right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a believed that ladies shouldn’t do the chasing, witness how many ladies complain about too many messages and don’t block single guys and could do the chasing themselves instead, but in the main they don’t, why? Because even ladies tend to believe they shouldn’t do the chasing....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s a believed that ladies shouldn’t do the chasing, witness how many ladies complain about too many messages and don’t block single guys and could do the chasing themselves instead, but in the main they don’t, why? Because even ladies tend to believe they shouldn’t do the chasing...."

I love a good chase

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s a believed that ladies shouldn’t do the chasing, witness how many ladies complain about too many messages and don’t block single guys and could do the chasing themselves instead, but in the main they don’t, why? Because even ladies tend to believe they shouldn’t do the chasing....

I love a good chase "

Being chased? Or chasing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chasing

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I believe a man should chase a woman until she catches him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I believe a man should chase a woman until she catches him "

I dont mind either way, I do tend to reach for what I want though

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

I like a female to make the first move, it shows she's interested in me ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone really wants me they have to let me know ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a woman come on to me a few years ago. Gave me a lift in her car and showed me her stocking tops. My heart beats fast thinking about it even now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" women get told they shouldn't go after a man or if they come on strong it's unattractive."

I’ve been chatted up in bars and clubs before. It’s such a turn on. What a load of nonsense. Although I have seen weaker men a little scared by a socially dominant female. I like it!

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"It’s a believed that ladies shouldn’t do the chasing, witness how many ladies complain about too many messages and don’t block single guys and could do the chasing themselves instead, but in the main they don’t, why? Because even ladies tend to believe they shouldn’t do the chasing...."

That's actually a fair point.

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton


"If someone really wants me they have to let me know ..."

my sentiments exactly,

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By *rTall89Man
over a year ago

ipswich


"I found Paul in a coffee shop and very much made the first move. I had to be blatant though as he has no idea when women are flirting with him."

A lot of us don't have a clue when someone's flirting with us! I am one of those oblivious gents.

And to the OP, hell no! I find it seriously attractive if a woman makes the first move! It tells me more that they genuinely want me!! Which feels amazing ^_^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone really wants me they have to let me know ...

my sentiments exactly, "
trouble is no bugger wants me

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton


"If someone really wants me they have to let me know ...

my sentiments exactly, trouble is no bugger wants me "

i think we are both in the same boat , no bugger wants me , , nice tits by the way ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone really wants me they have to let me know ...

my sentiments exactly, trouble is no bugger wants me

i think we are both in the same boat , no bugger wants me , , nice tits by the way , "
haha thanks

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By *enninemarkMan
over a year ago

huddersfield/manchester


"I found Paul in a coffee shop and very much made the first move. I had to be blatant though as he has no idea when women are flirting with him.

I know a couple of guys like that."

Sounds like me too! Been told afterwards, didn't have the confidence to believe it was flirting!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women of my generation were certainly told that and most of the men I knew believed it too.

Modesty was a virtue and if you read between the lines many people still think this way. A confident woman with high self esteem is often put down"

I second this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" women get told they shouldn't go after a man or if they come on strong it's unattractive.

Maybe in 1952.

Well I was born in 1956 maybe that explains why my generation was told this"

I agree. Old fashioned values are hard to break

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton


"If someone really wants me they have to let me know ...

my sentiments exactly, trouble is no bugger wants me

i think we are both in the same boat , no bugger wants me , , nice tits by the way , haha thanks"

always give nice tits the thumbs up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Before I was married, I never made the first move. Women always approached me. It happens less frequently now...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s massively flattering to be approached by a woman x

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By *eriousGuyABCMan
over a year ago

( WEST OF ) Chippenham ish


" women get told they shouldn't go after a man or if they come on strong it's unattractive.

Its bollox thats what that is lol"

Absolutely, I'm all for being chased, by 1 or many

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Yes, I think it still is nowadays. I know a fair few women who wouldn't be the first to make a move from fear of rejection or it being a turn off. I tend to go for it - I suggest meeting up and dates etc. It doesn't mean I don't like it when men do but I don't see any point in not. That's not to say I don't get nervous and think 'ah fuck, shouldn't have said anything'.

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By *ilver_medallistMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Are we still in the 1950s?

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By *enninemarkMan
over a year ago

huddersfield/manchester


"It’s massively flattering to be approached by a woman x"

You can say that again!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends what their first move is, much like with men

P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's hot when a woman makes the 1at move (mr)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes, I think it still is nowadays. I know a fair few women who wouldn't be the first to make a move from fear of rejection or it being a turn off. I tend to go for it - I suggest meeting up and dates etc. It doesn't mean I don't like it when men do but I don't see any point in not. That's not to say I don't get nervous and think 'ah fuck, shouldn't have said anything'. "

I suffer with worry at coming across as far too keen, but I will still ask with regularity when can we meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rather like it if a woman makes the first approach. It suggests they may have some real interest in me.

Not always the case of course, yet its always easier to start anything with another who has shown enough interest to make the first move.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who told you that? Where are you, 1920?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

No-one tells me what to do, but any man who wants me has to pursue me, I can't stand predatory women!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember watching a documentary about teenage girls, and they were heading out to a club, and one of them said “if he’s interested, he’ll make the first move. If he doesn’t make the first move, he’s not interested, so there’s no point in me going over to him”.

First of all, this is wrong. Some guys are shy (me), and find it really tough to approach women, do would LOVE a girl to approach him.

Secondly, this is probably the 1950’s mindset that has been passed down to them by their parents and grandparents. Men are expected to be Men, and women are expected to be ladies. Doesn’t work like that anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No-one tells me what to do, but any man who wants me has to pursue me, I can't stand predatory women! "

Ok, predatory is one thing, but what’s wrong with saying “Hi, how are you this evening?”

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"No-one tells me what to do, but any man who wants me has to pursue me, I can't stand predatory women!

Ok, predatory is one thing, but what’s wrong with saying “Hi, how are you this evening?”"

Nothing, but I prefer to be pursued.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple


" women get told they shouldn't go after a man or if they come on strong it's unattractive.

Maybe in 1952."

Men haven't changed that much, some have attitudes towards women that belong in the 1950's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If women want a piece of lil Ric (da dick) they usually come running

(ALL PUNS INTENDED).

Jokes aside, i think wonen are open on here.

Funny on bumble though (dating app) where the women messge firdt, every now and then one of them will say they do not open or send the first message!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plus it is nice when i get approached in a bar or something

Does wonders for the ego

Just being honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I remember watching a documentary about teenage girls, and they were heading out to a club, and one of them said “if he’s interested, he’ll make the first move. If he doesn’t make the first move, he’s not interested, so there’s no point in me going over to him”.

First of all, this is wrong. Some guys are shy (me), and find it really tough to approach women, do would LOVE a girl to approach him.

Secondly, this is probably the 1950’s mindset that has been passed down to them by their parents and grandparents. Men are expected to be Men, and women are expected to be ladies. Doesn’t work like that anymore. "

If it wasnt for "predatory" women think id still be a virgin

I just dont see the clues, ive literaly had " ffs how can you not tell do i need rub my tits your face" i just

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By *lappyMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I'd consider it the biggest compliment ever if I ever got approached in a bar by a woman as I struggle with nerves so to be chatted up gets a big thumbs up in my opinion ... and yes I've been chatted up by a girl in a bar before and we swapped numbers too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this true?"

I think it was in the 50s.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I suffer with worry at coming across as far too keen, but I will still ask with regularity when can we meet. "

Yeeeep! I do that as well. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I didn't and allowed men to do all that stuff but then it's not natural for me. I guess it's less about gendered roles and more doing what you feel comfortable with. Some women want men who will be the hunter/primal sort and the who messages who etc is good for finding out if they are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind a woman hitting on me as long as she does it with common sense.

Fed up hearing it all the time : 'I bet you have a lovely anus on you'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do what you're comfortable with doing.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

I don’t usually make the first move but we’re all different and many women are happy to do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fully supportive of any women that want to make the first move and pm me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find confident women very sexy, if they want to go after a man do it, I certainly won't be complaining

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By *uma69Man
over a year ago

stockport

If women did make the first move I think we would all have more success and not suffer all the knock backs lol

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By *outh london swingersCouple
over a year ago

Crystal Palace

I think it's very liberating for the lady to make the first move after all we all have wants and desires

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A lot of us don't have a clue when someone's flirting with us! I am one of those oblivious gents. "

Me too. I missed the boat by being told after I’d left town that I was being flirted with. God knows how many other times I’ve missed it.

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