FabSwingers.com forum: Worst ghosting?

By *ikingpair OP Couple
over a year ago

Cambridge

We were chatting to a single woman for a week or so, intelligent, articulate messages, she came across as shy and demure but with a really naughty side ... Great photos of a beautiful toned body ... And keen to meet up ... Then one evening she just vanished, never to be seen again! Left me feeling gutted for a few hours, so much so that L, bless her, created another profile just to see if she was still on Fab but had blocked us ... Of course within a few days the next great thing had come along and all was well again ... Anyone had similar experiences? I felt pretty daft afterwards, how can you get passed off about someone you don't know of have ever met? But at the time those feelings were there ...

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By *uriousMe2018Couple
over a year ago

Aldershot

We have had the same. Such a waste of time and effort which is why we dont bother with single females. But i would say this treatment is not exclusive to single fems. We have had plenty of couples ghost us too after weeks of chatting and group chats on whatsapp. Very frustrating and so unnecessary xx

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By *ikingpair OP Couple
over a year ago

Cambridge

"We have had the same. Such a waste of time and effort which is why we dont bother with single females. But i would say this treatment is not exclusive to single fems. We have had plenty of couples ghost us too after weeks of chatting and group chats on whatsapp. Very frustrating and so unnecessary xx"

Were you just frustrated or did you experience a slight sense of loss? But I agree, it's no way to treat people ...

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By *uriousMe2018Couple
over a year ago

Aldershot

Loss no, offended maybe, silly definately. But we have learned to brush it off and not take it too seriously xx

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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"We were chatting to a single woman for a week or so, intelligent, articulate messages, she came across as shy and demure but with a really naughty side ... Great photos of a beautiful toned body ... And keen to meet up ... Then one evening she just vanished, never to be seen again! Left me feeling gutted for a few hours, so much so that L, bless her, created another profile just to see if she was still on Fab but had blocked us ... Of course within a few days the next great thing had come along and all was well again ... Anyone had similar experiences? I felt pretty daft afterwards, how can you get passed off about someone you don't know of have ever met? But at the time those feelings were there ..."

I just chalk it down to experience. Had one with a lady with multiple verifications. Chatted for a week, she was keen to meet. Then day of the meet, silence.

She turned up later claiming wires got crossed and tried to schedule another meet. Again on the day, silence.

Then she sent me a friend request and was impressed with her "trolling"

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By *ikingpair OP Couple
over a year ago

Cambridge

Yes, this was an early experience when we were very naive ... Taught us that if something sounds too good to be true then it almost certainly is lol Apart from people we chat to who are miles away, so it really doesn't matter if they ghost us, we now suggest an early social, that seems to separate the fantasists from the real people!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You just have to put it down to experience and next time it happens it won't bother you so much. I (Jenny) use to get really effected by this happening, I would never dream of doing it to someone so why would they do it to us. Life does get in the way and sometimes a person you've never met doesn't think you are important enough to inform but even if that was me out of politeness I would drop someone a quick message. Suppose we are all different I'm that way.

I don't even let the no shows effect me anymore. The only person who's important to me is Jimmy x

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By *ikingpair OP Couple
over a year ago

Cambridge

"You just have to put it down to experience and next time it happens it won't bother you so much. I (Jenny) use to get really effected by this happening, I would never dream of doing it to someone so why would they do it to us. Life does get in the way and sometimes a person you've never met doesn't think you are important enough to inform but even if that was me out of politeness I would drop someone a quick message. Suppose we are all different I'm that way.

I don't even let the no shows effect me anymore. The only person who's important to me is Jimmy x"

Thanks, Jenny, and you're right, that's how it has been for us too ... You have to be philosophical and not let it get to you ... And we're the same as you, we try to treat everyone with respect and politeness, we hate to make folk feel bad about themselves xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't even let the no shows effect me anymore. The only person who's important to me is Jimmy x

If only everyone was as courteous! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most people I’ve ever met haven’t chatted for long on here. It’s either gone straight to phone number swapping or some other chat platform and if I’m honest, there’s not been too much actual chat beforehand; just a bit of flirting and sorting out a time and place.

I know everyone is different, but being a bit more direct about intentions and talking about a certain date to meet fairly quickly has always sorted the genuine out front the dreamers in my experience.

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By *ikingpair OP Couple
over a year ago

Cambridge

"Most people I’ve ever met haven’t chatted for long on here. It’s either gone straight to phone number swapping or some other chat platform and if I’m honest, there’s not been too much actual chat beforehand; just a bit of flirting and sorting out a time and place.

Yes, thanks, that reinforces our thoughts too, we are now far more direct, it's interesting how the dreamers manage never to answer the direct request for some dates when they are free, but start telling you how busy they are at the moment (despite seeking to be on here 24/7 lol)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have done it once. A couple we were chatting too. It became very obvious they wasn’t a couple at all and the guy was trying to get the wife alone without his partner. We asked about it but a poor reason came back. After that it ruined it for us and trust was lost. So *poof* like a magician we was gone!

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By *ikingpair OP Couple
over a year ago

Cambridge

"We have done it once. A couple we were chatting too. It became very obvious they wasn’t a couple at all and the guy was trying to get the wife alone without his partner. We asked about it but a poor reason came back. After that it ruined it for us and trust was lost. So *poof* like a magician we was gone! "

That's a different scenario, I don't have any qualms about blocking people when it becomes obvious they're trolling you!!

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By *sm30Couple
over a year ago

ferryhill

Happened twice to us so far if you don't count the obvious disappearing the second you ask for proof they are who they say they are.

First was a verified member who contacted us offering to verify us if she could see us on cam. We agreed we saw her she saw us she said her sound wasn't working properly so disconnected and immediately started to ignore us. Even if she wasn't interested a message would have been nice.

Second was similar we chatted to a woman for awhile we exchanged a few pictures and what have you she seemed really up for it decided she wanted to talk to the mrs 1on1 on Skype for a bit just a chat she said. So I leave the room only to get asked back in about 10 minutes later and my mrs is naked and playing watching this woman doing the same and they both asked me to join in and lick the Mrs which I obviously obliged they both orgasmed the woman said she was very keen to meet we set a tentative date she went offline then the next day sent us a message saying "this isn't what I'm looking for" then blocked us. Never figured out what changed her mind she was really keen sounding and certainly loomed enthusiastic according to the Mrs.

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By *uicy78Woman
over a year ago

King's Lynn

Happened to me last year, met him at a club, we got on really well and he seemed really keen, met up a few times, he even made a couples profile for us, things were great for a few months and then out of the blue he just disappeared, no messages, deleted the profile, totally knocks your confidence and leaves you thinking did you do something wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes, this was an early experience when we were very naive ... Taught us that if something sounds too good to be true then it almost certainly is lol Apart from people we chat to who are miles away, so it really doesn't matter if they ghost us, we now suggest an early social, that seems to separate the fantasists from the real people!"

I always meet within 2 weeks of first chatting. Never had a no show.

It's crap when you get on with someone then they disappear. Probably a man wanking. Or a woman just boosting her ego.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

It's very easy to get sucked in by the excitement of someone showing an interest in you, particularly if they appear to tick all your boxes - so the disappointment is understandable when things don't pan out as you hoped.

There's also no definitive "right" answer to the question of whether to move to meet early or wait and continue to build the connection - there are just as many, if not more, stories of people arranging meets quickly who get no shows as there are of people who take their time building a rapport - sometimes you just *know* when the time is right or that someone is genuine, others a little due diligence helps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

come along and all was well again ... Anyone had similar experiences? I felt pretty daft afterwards, how can you get passed off about someone you don't know of have ever met? But at the time those feelings were there ..."

Seems to be common on this site. That’s single guys too.

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By *ikingpair OP Couple
over a year ago

Cambridge

"It's very easy to get sucked in by the excitement of someone showing an interest in you, particularly if they appear to tick all your boxes - so the disappointment is understandable when things don't pan out as you hoped.

Thanks for this insightful response, I am intrigued about the 'due diligence' idea ... What sort of the diligence? I've heard of people doing image searches to make sure a profile hasn't stolen photos off the internet. Is that the sort of thing you mean?

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

My worst case of ghosting was receiving a text en route to Barnsley on My bf and I were going to announce our engagement at a family meal. Text said he was taking his new gf, and I've been ghosted since.

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By *ikingpair OP Couple
over a year ago

Cambridge

"My worst case of ghosting was receiving a text en route to Barnsley on My bf and I were going to announce our engagement at a family meal. Text said he was taking his new gf, and I've been ghosted since. "

Bloody hell, that's rough ... Doubt anyone will beat that!!

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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Excellent post, most of the meets I've had through the site have been that way.

A few messages back and forth, availability and then a social or meet.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Yes exactly that kind of thing, sometimes it just comes down to common sense things like checking a veri trail, gauging responses to suggestions to meet, or how they react to suggesting a quick call etc. - of course none of those things in isolation mean someone is definitely not genuine, but call it gut instinct or similar sometimes things just don't add up.

I think one of the problems, and I understand why it happens, is that people get too caught up in the idea of meeting, and a level of reason and sensible checks goes out of the window with it.

Personally I take my time to get to know people, establishing not only a connection and chemistry, but a level of trust that they are genuine in who they say they are, and their intentions regarding meeting, and that works for me - however as this thread has shown others have their way too.

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By *ex-a-frolicsCouple
over a year ago

Brizzle

Were you really chatting to a single female, was it via Face time, Skype etc, otherwise how do you know it wasn’t a single male getting his rocks off?

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

I just chalk it down to experience. Had one with a lady with multiple verifications. Chatted for a week, she was keen to meet. Then day of the meet, silence.

She turned up later claiming wires got crossed and tried to schedule another meet. Again on the day, silence.

Then she sent me a friend request and was impressed with her "trolling""

Oh..how can you allow people to do that to you the 2nd time around

I dont mind ghosting from chatting but if meet was arranged, that is a cruel thing to do. Other people's money, effort and time were wasted.

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By *ikingpair OP Couple
over a year ago

Cambridge

"Were you really chatting to a single female, was it via Face time, Skype etc, otherwise how do you know it wasn’t a single male getting his rocks off?"

It was on Fab and now I know a bit more about the trolls and the timewasters I am sure you are right, it would have been a guy ... The previous poster made a really good point: human beings are experts at believing what they want to believe, no matter what the evidence to the contrary is ... L and I wanted a gorgeous, sexy, intelligent woman to join us and so looking for reasons as to why this was a scam was not high on our priorities!! Plus as you keep messaging you feel more and more invested ... Still, you live and learn ... xx

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Was chatting with a guy for months but busy schedules and distance meant we hadn't met yet, finally we arranged for a hotel room about halfway between us for an evening we were both free, anticipating our meet meant the chat heated up between us. I finished work and arrived at the room first he was due an hour later so I prepped then went down to the bar for a drink and snack. He never showed and had blocked me on fab about half an hour before he was due to arrive. Didn't answer calls or texts.

I'd paid for the hotel and he was to give me half when he arrived.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After a recent experience I am starting to wonder if there are a lot of quite anxious people on here. I think nerves and anxiety can prevent people going through with it. It’s still incredibly rude and they’ll never get another chance, but I’m choosing to think of it as their nerves rather than nasty game playing.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"After a recent experience I am starting to wonder if there are a lot of quite anxious people on here. I think nerves and anxiety can prevent people going through with it. It’s still incredibly rude and they’ll never get another chance, but I’m choosing to think of it as their nerves rather than nasty game playing."

I think there's all kinds of reasons people do it - and nerves and anxiety are certainly one explanation, although as you say very rude to disappear without a trace regardless.

Then there are those who get a thrill from the chase but never have any intention of meeting, or those who can't actually meet (for a variety of reasons) but get so locked into the interaction that they paint themselves into a corner and the only way out of it is to ghost without a second thought for the person they are doing it to.

Those of us that are serious about meeting invest a lot of time and effort into it, not to mention financial cost in some cases, let alone the mental preparation - so can understand why people get both annoyed and frustrated by it.

I guess we all find our own ways of minimising the risk of it happening and luckily it's not happened to me so far, but I do sometimes think that some people lose a level of common sense and get to caught up in it at times - particularly single guys who seize on any chance of a meet as real and don't do some basic checks before jumping in their cars and booking hotels.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We've been ghosted a few times, some more spectacularly than others. It's not so bad as a couple because you can shrug your shoulders at each other and commiserate. We make a point though of never travelling too far or spending money.

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By *ikingpair OP Couple
over a year ago

Cambridge

"We've been ghosted a few times, some more spectacularly than others. It's not so bad as a couple because you can shrug your shoulders at each other and commiserate. We make a point though of never travelling too far or spending money."

Yes, we're same as you, would only meet locally and if it's a no show then so what, you get to have a couple of drinks out instead of watching some crap on TV lol xx

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By *ikingpair OP Couple
over a year ago

Cambridge

PS Do feel free to share your worst ghost stories, they do make for interesting reading once you are at the point that you can summon some rueful laughter xx

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Not only related to fab but there is just something about me that seems to attract people who like to ghost.

Fab (though not all that bothered about it here).

Dating sites

An ex

Even have had friends (old and new) do it to me.

I'm very fussy these days when it comes to who I let in to my life (all aspects of it) because honestly I trust very little that it won't happen.

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By *ustinCredible.Man
over a year ago

whitecross/sankey valley

Try being a single guy... couples and single women treat us like we mean nothing. I had 1 couple i met semi regular at mine, they invited me to thiers so I did the hr travel to thiers only to get a message saying "we went to the pub back in 2hrs"

And they expected me to wait for them

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"PS Do feel free to share your worst ghost stories, they do make for interesting reading once you are at the point that you can summon some rueful laughter xx"

This is from another site. A guy contacted us, we exchanged a few messages and arranged a social. Met up, all went well and because the particular scene we wanted to get involved in with him required a bit of trust we all agreed on another social. Messages were exchanged in the meantime setting out boundaries, describing the scene in more detail and sorting out what we were all happy with. We all had another social then agreed on a date for a meet which he confirmed, then we never heard from him again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a very soft and loving type of guy, and fell in 'textual' love with her over a period of weeks.

Then she completely disappeared.

I felt bereaved!

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

Sadly he killed himself last year, said he was in the wrong relationship. WTF!!!

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By *ikingpair OP Couple
over a year ago

Cambridge

I'm a very soft and loving type of guy, and fell in 'textual' love with her over a period of weeks.

Then she completely disappeared.

I felt bereaved!

Thanks for this, I didn't exactly feel bereaved, after all I have the gorgeous L, but I did feel a sense of loss, and L would tell you I was a grumpy bastard for the rest of the evening!! So I completely get how you can become infatuated just through exchanging messages.

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By *ikingpair OP Couple
over a year ago

Cambridge

"Sadly he killed himself last year, said he was in the wrong relationship. WTF!!!"

Crikey, that's a really sad story from start to finish xx

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