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Club dynamics

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By *etro1940s OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames

We have had some very satisfying club visits but also have encountered some challenging recent visits. Having started the lifestyle journey in Madrid at a very chic, very open minded and liberal wet venue, we are re-visiting our thoughts. We value clubs for safety, security, facilities and the efficient/effective ability to bring people together of a like mind. But sometimes the sexual, sensual chemistry or vibe is fraught with strain. Your thoughts please, might be just a "Home Counties" thing or a "Theme Overrides Everything" thing?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

In what way is it strained?

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

We find that every visit to every club is different, sometimes we click with someone early on, another we may just join in with others in a couples room, other times we might just find a room by ourselves as we don't connect with anyone.

There seems to be no logic at all.

Cal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As the previous poster stated, each and every night at a club is different as there are different people around. You can never really tell beforehand how good the night is going to be.

Also, there is a variety of clubs around the country, each having different vibe, some set up as more 'posh', for 'pretty people' only, others being very easygoing and friendly, to some being more seedy and a bit rough around the edges. But they cater for different crowds and different needs, which is great as we are all different and looking for different things as swingers.

Have you been to many swingers clubs, OP, to be able to compare them? Maybe next time it would be good to look at 'Club reviews' section and make your decision based on that? Though again, any club is only as good as what the people make it on the night.

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By *etro1940s OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames


"In what way is it strained? "
More about the energy and dialogue going on ... maybe it was just us ... but you live and learn

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By *etro1940s OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames


"As the previous poster stated, each and every night at a club is different as there are different people around. You can never really tell beforehand how good the night is going to be.

Also, there is a variety of clubs around the country, each having different vibe, some set up as more 'posh', for 'pretty people' only, others being very easygoing and friendly, to some being more seedy and a bit rough around the edges. But they cater for different crowds and different needs, which is great as we are all different and looking for different things as swingers.

Have you been to many swingers clubs, OP, to be able to compare them? Maybe next time it would be good to look at 'Club reviews' section and make your decision based on that? Though again, any club is only as good as what the people make it on the night. "
It is very much on the night more so than even the club reputation, this was the fifth or sixth visit but the first for that particular "event"

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

We go to clubs to relax, enjoy ourselves and soak up the atmosphere. Other people joining in is the icing on the cake. Can't comment on theme night as we avoid them.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"In what way is it strained? More about the energy and dialogue going on ... maybe it was just us ... but you live and learn "

Yeah, I think every night and every club is different, like previous posters have said. Luck of the draw often enough! (although I definitely have clubs where I like the vibe or not, and people there tend to add to that or not)

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By *mm and HerCouple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

We'd agree - I think some clubs have a more friendly vibe, often to do with layout and facilities. But equally often down to that night, who's in and the mood we're all in. We now go thinking that we'll have a great night together and anything that might happen around us or with us is a bonus.

All that said, we have left two places early as it wasn't working for us - you can't force it either

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"We'd agree - I think some clubs have a more friendly vibe, often to do with layout and facilities. But equally often down to that night, who's in and the mood we're all in. We now go thinking that we'll have a great night together and anything that might happen around us or with us is a bonus.

All that said, we have left two places early as it wasn't working for us - you can't force it either "

Around here, it's often staff and policies. I won't name them, but two stand out locally. One, the staff don't seem to give a crap, and it shows in the way women can be hounded. The other, there are rules, they're definitely enforced, and it's self policing. I had one horrendous night at the first and will never return. I've been to the other many times and have had very few problems, all of which were nipped in the bud immediately.

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By *JohnMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

You mentioned an "event". As people have said, every night is different. Event nights are even more different. They're great for people who want what they offer (and from the numbers who attended, that's a lot of people). But they're not for everyone. I always struggle to feel comfortable. I think that's because I don't attend them often enough to have settled in, like I have with the normal nights.

Find the nights that work most for you, and be prepared to be disappointed now and then.

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By *istress CockneyWoman
over a year ago

LONDON


"We'd agree - I think some clubs have a more friendly vibe, often to do with layout and facilities. But equally often down to that night, who's in and the mood we're all in. We now go thinking that we'll have a great night together and anything that might happen around us or with us is a bonus.

All that said, we have left two places early as it wasn't working for us - you can't force it either "
Totally agree with this.My mindset exactly when I attend clubs.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

We had nights that have just been awesome, everthing has just flowed and we've had some filthy times with great people. Some nights we've had a nice time and met great people but there's just been something missing. Occationally it's a bit of a flop in terms action or atmosphere. I think it really boils down to three factors:

The club it's self

The type of night/party

And the people attending at that time.

The club, it's format and astmophere I think being the biggest factor. We've tried a few clubs and some are just more us than others (Likewise the people that attend). But we just simply go to have a good time (we always do), meet new people and if we have a filthy time with new freinds then even better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's a "wet" venue?

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots


"What's a "wet" venue? "

Somewhere based more around hot tubs, sauna, steam rooms

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By *tag and HellcatCouple
over a year ago

Notts/Derby

Since we only started 5 weeks ago, we've only been to one club, so far. We were lucky that it worked from the off. We went with the attitude of see what happens and the first two weeks, met 2 great guys, much to Ms.H's pleasure. We went one evening and it was really quiet, I think there were just 6 of us. However, since we couldn't play that night due to self-inflicted injuries , it was great to have just a social evening, talk to the hosts who are amazing and some of the other regulars, without any pressure.

Had the quiet night beeen our first night, I think it would have put us off doing it.

Like most things, have reasonable expections and accept that it's not always going to be magical. But when those nights do happen, relish in them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In addition to the factors mentioned above the mix of singles and couples can make quite a difference. I prefer nights where single men are included, for obvious reasons, a lot of couples don’t. Clubs that manage the gender balance are generally preferable, not allowing 20 odd men in to hound a couple of women. There may be a difference too between south and north in terms of cost. Clubs are reasonably priced up here, so you get regulars and it’s not such a big deal night out. I get the impression that the higher cost of southern clubs may mitigate against regular visits, particularly from men, and might also create an expectation of sex being part of the entry fee.

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