FabSwingers.com forum: Swingers Jokes....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Who has any great swingers jokes, all I can think of is this one...

A couple decide, having just turned sixty to try a swingers club and (to their amazement) connect with a very young couple.

After an hour and a half of "play time" they get dressed and headed home.

"Well that was disappointing," said the husband,"the young lady was fantastic but I couldn't keep it up and didn't finish. "

"Too bad, "she says, "I thought it was spectacular. Afterall that young stallion ran the full race three times!"

Of course they should have known that it's just simple arithmetic:

20 goes into 60 a lot more times than 60 goes into 20...

(please post better jokes!)

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a long one....

A couple were sat in their lounge watching TV when they heard a huge commotion from their garden.

On investigation they discovered a flying saucer had landed and as they approached it a door opened and two aliens stepped out looking entirely human, one male one female, both stunningly attractive.

The male alien held up his hand in a friendly gesture and said:

“We are from the planet Mars travelling the galaxy looking to explore what sex is like with other species, would you be interested in having sex with us?”

Being swingers themselves the human couple eagerly agreed, and the wife grabbed the alien males hand and practically dragged him to the bedroom, leaving the other two to enjoy their fun downstairs.

Quickly she ripped off his trousers revealing a very disappointingly small package.

Seeing her disappointment the alien male twisted his left ear and his member instantly grew 9”

The wife was amazed “great” she said, but it’s still quite thin...”

“No problem” replied the alien twisting his right ear which increased the girth of his cock.

They went on to have a wonderful night of sex until she fell asleep.

Waking up alone, she peered out of the window to see the flying saucer had gone, and made her way downstairs to find her husband sitting at the table, looking up he asked her how her night had been.

“Amazing!” She said, “and yours?”

“Totally shit!” He said miserably, “all she wanted to do was play with my fucking ears!!”

I’m here all night