FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Why do guys stare

Jump to newest
 

By *otwife for use OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester

If you go to a club as a woman, eg sit in a jacuzzi guys get in sit staring at you constantly, without saying a word, following and staring is just as spooky.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've encountered women in the past that have been a tad granted mostly men but not solely. There could be many reasons for it, I'd ask if curious enough though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get you 100%, it happens at my gym a lot. Even if I think the girl is drop dead gorgeous I cant look as its creepy AF! I have a lot of girl mates and they hate it with a passion! I am sure that no girl ever said “Fuck, I am well gonna go and fuck that guy who is staring at me”.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otwife for use OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester

I stop being curious, very quickly fish bowl springs to mind

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otwife for use OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester


"Get you 100%, it happens at my gym a lot. Even if I think the girl is drop dead gorgeous I cant look as its creepy AF! I have a lot of girl mates and they hate it with a passion! I am sure that no girl ever said “Fuck, I am well gonna go and fuck that guy who is staring at me”. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

Total lack of social skills and creepy as fuck.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otwife for use OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester


"Total lack of social skills and creepy as fuck. "

Indeed I make sure the person I’m with knows, there a non starter

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I heard loud trumping, obvious butt scratching and punching yourself in the face like you are about to enter a boxing ring seems to have the desired effect on starers!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ed wineMan
over a year ago

Where the streets have no name


"I've encountered women in the past that have been a tad granted mostly men but not solely. There could be many reasons for it, I'd ask if curious enough though."

Because men are normally visual-lead; women instead tend to be more sensitive and emotional.

If men stare at you but don't approach could be due to lack of self-confidence and social skills

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

men stare for the same reason as women and couples in a club we all stare not just men ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you go to a club as a woman, eg sit in a jacuzzi guys get in sit staring at you constantly, without saying a word, following and staring is just as spooky. "
hoping to get some kind of signal that you want to talk to them I suppose.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I've encountered women in the past that have been a tad granted mostly men but not solely. There could be many reasons for it, I'd ask if curious enough though.

Because men are normally visual-lead; women instead tend to be more sensitive and emotional.

If men stare at you but don't approach could be due to lack of self-confidence and social skills"

But pretty much anyone who's ever met a woman knows this is disconcerting (or outside a sexual situation, even threatening). Being visually led is not a good reason to be a creep.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you go to a club as a woman, eg sit in a jacuzzi guys get in sit staring at you constantly, without saying a word, following and staring is just as spooky. "
you need to worry when men stop staring at yer

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island


"If you go to a club as a woman, eg sit in a jacuzzi guys get in sit staring at you constantly, without saying a word, following and staring is just as spooky. "

Shy, insecure, think of something to say that won't get him chucked out or a slap.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not that hard to say "hi, mind if I join you?" I've passed by many a hotty because of this. If you can't be confident enough to simply say hello...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"If you go to a club as a woman, eg sit in a jacuzzi guys get in sit staring at you constantly, without saying a word, following and staring is just as spooky.

Shy, insecure, think of something to say that won't get him chucked out or a slap. "

This .. we're just shy ..and you must be very attractive

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you go to a club as a woman, eg sit in a jacuzzi guys get in sit staring at you constantly, without saying a word, following and staring is just as spooky. hoping to get some kind of signal that you want to talk to them I suppose. "

But they never smile! I think language skills might also sometimes be an issue. That’s an observation, not a prejudice before someone jumps on me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ed wineMan
over a year ago

Where the streets have no name


"I've encountered women in the past that have been a tad granted mostly men but not solely. There could be many reasons for it, I'd ask if curious enough though.

Because men are normally visual-lead; women instead tend to be more sensitive and emotional.

If men stare at you but don't approach could be due to lack of self-confidence and social skills

But pretty much anyone who's ever met a woman knows this is disconcerting (or outside a sexual situation, even threatening). Being visually led is not a good reason to be a creep. "

I am not justifying anyone's behaviour. Said this, it is a little naive to pretend that being nude surrounded by men, they will not stare at you. If this seems creepy to you, it is a subjective perception. Other women find it exciting...

Out of a sexual situation, I agree that can be threatening

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't attend adult clubs but men stare anywhere. When I'm in the bar and a guy next to me does it, I start staring at his crotch for about 30 seconds. It must work because he moves and leaves me alone

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I've encountered women in the past that have been a tad granted mostly men but not solely. There could be many reasons for it, I'd ask if curious enough though.

Because men are normally visual-lead; women instead tend to be more sensitive and emotional.

If men stare at you but don't approach could be due to lack of self-confidence and social skills

But pretty much anyone who's ever met a woman knows this is disconcerting (or outside a sexual situation, even threatening). Being visually led is not a good reason to be a creep.

I am not justifying anyone's behaviour. Said this, it is a little naive to pretend that being nude surrounded by men, they will not stare at you. If this seems creepy to you, it is a subjective perception. Other women find it exciting...

Out of a sexual situation, I agree that can be threatening"

There's a fine line sometimes. Appreciative glances, yes, I enjoy that. Staring at me like I'm a steak and they're a starving dog, that's still creepy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you go to a club as a woman, eg sit in a jacuzzi guys get in sit staring at you constantly, without saying a word, following and staring is just as spooky. "

Guess it's the same reason some men enjoy lapdancing clubs. They're obviously more voyeurs than engagers. I'm not taking away from how creepy it must make you feel OP, but it does sound a bit like a 1970s comedy sketch. Maybe if the club sound system played the Benny Hill theme music it would help ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They dont stare at me so im ok

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ed wineMan
over a year ago

Where the streets have no name


"I've encountered women in the past that have been a tad granted mostly men but not solely. There could be many reasons for it, I'd ask if curious enough though.

Because men are normally visual-lead; women instead tend to be more sensitive and emotional.

If men stare at you but don't approach could be due to lack of self-confidence and social skills

But pretty much anyone who's ever met a woman knows this is disconcerting (or outside a sexual situation, even threatening). Being visually led is not a good reason to be a creep.

I am not justifying anyone's behaviour. Said this, it is a little naive to pretend that being nude surrounded by men, they will not stare at you. If this seems creepy to you, it is a subjective perception. Other women find it exciting...

Out of a sexual situation, I agree that can be threatening

There's a fine line sometimes. Appreciative glances, yes, I enjoy that. Staring at me like I'm a steak and they're a starving dog, that's still creepy. "

Still your subjective perception. Many women like been desired in that way. Moreover, how do you think they stare the pictures in your profile?

In any case, I understand your point and I guess I would feel the same in that situation

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otwife for use OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester


"If you go to a club as a woman, eg sit in a jacuzzi guys get in sit staring at you constantly, without saying a word, following and staring is just as spooky.

Guess it's the same reason some men enjoy lapdancing clubs. They're obviously more voyeurs than engagers. I'm not taking away from how creepy it must make you feel OP, but it does sound a bit like a 1970s comedy sketch. Maybe if the club sound system played the Benny Hill theme music it would help ? "

I’m not sure about the music, seems only one in five can engage constructively. Seems there just hopeful that it works, perhaps it did once maybe so keep going

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otwife for use OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester


"I've encountered women in the past that have been a tad granted mostly men but not solely. There could be many reasons for it, I'd ask if curious enough though.

Because men are normally visual-lead; women instead tend to be more sensitive and emotional.

If men stare at you but don't approach could be due to lack of self-confidence and social skills

But pretty much anyone who's ever met a woman knows this is disconcerting (or outside a sexual situation, even threatening). Being visually led is not a good reason to be a creep. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guys do tend to stare and wait for some kind of reaction. I have found myself doing this in the past. Then stopped and thought about just how creepy it is! Careful these days as your post proves....us guys can be a bit weird!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you go to a club as a woman, eg sit in a jacuzzi guys get in sit staring at you constantly, without saying a word, following and staring is just as spooky. hoping to get some kind of signal that you want to talk to them I suppose.

But they never smile! I think language skills might also sometimes be an issue. That’s an observation, not a prejudice before someone jumps on me."
id smile at yer

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you go to a club as a woman, eg sit in a jacuzzi guys get in sit staring at you constantly, without saying a word, following and staring is just as spooky. hoping to get some kind of signal that you want to talk to them I suppose.

But they never smile! I think language skills might also sometimes be an issue. That’s an observation, not a prejudice before someone jumps on me. id smile at yer "

You could just let that arse do the talking..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you go to a club as a woman, eg sit in a jacuzzi guys get in sit staring at you constantly, without saying a word, following and staring is just as spooky. hoping to get some kind of signal that you want to talk to them I suppose.

But they never smile! I think language skills might also sometimes be an issue. That’s an observation, not a prejudice before someone jumps on me. id smile at yer

You could just let that arse do the talking.. "
That's uncanny . People do say I talk out my arse

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't been to any clubs, but that is how I imagined it would be like.. Lots of men staring at women.

I hate it when people in public stare at me. Some proper nosey people about.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

It does sound sinister and deliberate. I can't help looking at women. It's instinct I suppose, just how I'm programmed. But I have the social education not to stare or make someone feel uncomfortable. I would hate to make someone feel uncomfortable. Granted there may have been times I've looked for a split second longer than I should have sometimes but I guessing your talking about continuous staring. I've seen this and My Girl has experienced this in a club. At best it's bad manners, at its most sinister maybe it's an attempt to make you feel uncomfortable as if to assert some kind of power over you and how you feel.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't help looking at women either.. But I style it out so that they don't notice lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It does sound sinister and deliberate. I can't help looking at women. It's instinct I suppose, just how I'm programmed. But I have the social education not to stare or make someone feel uncomfortable. I would hate to make someone feel uncomfortable. Granted there may have been times I've looked for a split second longer than I should have sometimes but I guessing your talking about continuous staring. I've seen this and My Girl has experienced this in a club. At best it's bad manners, at its most sinister maybe it's an attempt to make you feel uncomfortable as if to assert some kind of power over you and how you feel.

"

It’s the complete unwillingness to make eye contact or smile that makes it inexcusable.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otwife for use OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester


"It does sound sinister and deliberate. I can't help looking at women. It's instinct I suppose, just how I'm programmed. But I have the social education not to stare or make someone feel uncomfortable. I would hate to make someone feel uncomfortable. Granted there may have been times I've looked for a split second longer than I should have sometimes but I guessing your talking about continuous staring. I've seen this and My Girl has experienced this in a club. At best it's bad manners, at its most sinister maybe it's an attempt to make you feel uncomfortable as if to assert some kind of power over you and how you feel.

It’s the complete unwillingness to make eye contact or smile that makes it inexcusable."

I spend the evening trying to avoid them, often you see there hand pleasuring themselves at the same time

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love being stared at! Lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you go to a club as a woman, eg sit in a jacuzzi guys get in sit staring at you constantly, without saying a word, following and staring is just as spooky.

Guess it's the same reason some men enjoy lapdancing clubs. They're obviously more voyeurs than engagers. I'm not taking away from how creepy it must make you feel OP, but it does sound a bit like a 1970s comedy sketch. Maybe if the club sound system played the Benny Hill theme music it would help ?

I’m not sure about the music, seems only one in five can engage constructively. Seems there just hopeful that it works, perhaps it did once maybe so keep going "

I doubt they would have been successful with that behaviour, in all seriousness. Is it a generational thing maybe, have you noticed OP ?

On the plus side, avoiding eye contact points to underdeveloped social skills rather than so anything sinister.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

If I see any of you ladies in a club I'm going to say hello properly...not just stare

Or wear my perving glasses

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otwife for use OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester


"If I see any of you ladies in a club I'm going to say hello properly...not just stare

Or wear my perving glasses "

Try to miss out what you into, not a great opener

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"If I see any of you ladies in a club I'm going to say hello properly...not just stare

Or wear my perving glasses

Try to miss out what you into, not a great opener "
thanks for the tip

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not just in clubs in general every day situations too lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cannot bear being stared at where ever I am.

There is a girl at work who does it, constantly... Will just sit and watch, even if I'm sat doing paperwork, I did kind of indirectly address it in a staff meeting, she still does it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aughtyTwoCouple
over a year ago

Southampton


"I love being stared at! Lol "

Cool,doing it now to your pictures. Thanks.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eneral HysteriaMan
over a year ago

Newcastle


"I love being stared at! Lol "

I imagine that happens to you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ornyhornytwoCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

Yeah this happens a lot. So much so that even if we don't play with single guys we will go up to them and ask if they want a game of pool or have a chat and we try and explain that they have to try and speak to people... I would say a good 90 percent of the men in clubs havnt even spoken to us yet when we go into a room will try follow x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aughtyTwoCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

[Removed by poster at 14/05/19 22:23:37]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aughtyTwoCouple
over a year ago

Southampton


"Yeah this happens a lot. So much so that even if we don't play with single guys we will go up to them and ask if they want a game of pool or have a chat and we try and explain that they have to try and speak to people... I would say a good 90 percent of the men in clubs havnt even spoken to us yet when we go into a room will try follow x"

Have you ever allowed any of these ‘quiet’ guys in, we have, Ted finds it a huge turn on for me to treat a random single guy!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tits

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ornyhornytwoCouple
over a year ago

Bradford


"Yeah this happens a lot. So much so that even if we don't play with single guys we will go up to them and ask if they want a game of pool or have a chat and we try and explain that they have to try and speak to people... I would say a good 90 percent of the men in clubs havnt even spoken to us yet when we go into a room will try follow x

Have you ever allowed any of these ‘quiet’ guys in, we have, Ted finds it a huge turn on for me to treat a random single guy!"

No. We aren't really into playing with single guys. She much prefers girl play in clubs. We will put on the odd show obviously and try make sure people don't just sit around on there own but there are plenty of couples that invite single men in but generally it will be the men that speak to people and address them as a couple x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

it can also be the same as why do guys follow women and couples in clubs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otwife for use OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester


"Yeah this happens a lot. So much so that even if we don't play with single guys we will go up to them and ask if they want a game of pool or have a chat and we try and explain that they have to try and speak to people... I would say a good 90 percent of the men in clubs havnt even spoken to us yet when we go into a room will try follow x"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

I find I stare at people without realising it. I am just nosey and curious what everyone is doing. Like my very own reality TV.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arakiss12TV/TS
over a year ago

Bedford

I get stared at alot, it accentuates my mild autism. I just freeze up.

At times I'll be oblivious to it but then when I feel the gaze I clam up.

I used to get upskirted alot on the tube. I've stopped going into London now.

I did ask one guy if he was ok, his reply "I think I've left my front door key at home and I'm locked out"

Pre occupation is another reason.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the Benny hill chase gang in clubs we find hilarious male

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ily Con CarneTV/TS
over a year ago

Cornwall

I get stared at but I believe it's only because they are thinking ...Wtf is that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try and chat when in clubs but meet with blank faces and rebuffs. As a consequence I no longer venture into clubs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkyChrissy99TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

I notice this a lot and its very uncomfortable at times.... I have even engaged some that are doing it to me and they still barely talk.... Is the term voyeur? Where they they just like to watch?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because you're beautiful.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because you're beautiful. "

That's what I tell myself when I'm being stared at on the bus.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imandher84Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

I am constantly oblivious to my surroundings to the point where people have fallen out with me due to them flapping there arms and screaming my name at the top of there lungs whilst i pootle along inside my own head, so safe to say I'm not a starer.

We did have one instance in a Manchester club where a friends wife sat on my knee and a starer bum shuffled his stool up for a better look...and i do mean shuffled.. Right round the pool table

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *r_BigHeadMan
over a year ago

The Naughty Step (aka Northampton)


"It's the Benny hill chase gang in clubs we find hilarious male "

Oh great! Now I'm going to have that theme tune playing in my head next time I'm in a club. That'll get me in the mood

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's the Benny hill chase gang in clubs we find hilarious male "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon


"If you go to a club as a woman, eg sit in a jacuzzi guys get in sit staring at you constantly, without saying a word, following and staring is just as spooky. "

Simply because they lack the social skills to initiate a conversation. Perhaps there should be an intelligence test on entry?

Or, is it just the cruel trick that god played on us men - a cock and a brain but only enough blood to power one at a time?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ewhorizonsCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

The staring thing is just one aspect of the many creepy things that go on in Swinger’s clubs. You can add in the way the men follow the ladies around, sit in the public spaces pleasuring themselves, uninvited touching etc etc.

I think if you’re bothered by the staring then do what we do, and don’t go.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the staring thing thought process can go like this

guy thinking" wow....she is hot as fuck"..."i wonder if she would go out with me,let me check...shes a 8 im a 5..maybe!, she looks like fun".."im gonna ask her out..what will i say though.hold on i cant just go up to a stranger in the street and ask her out..shit shit shit."im not gonna risk going up and asking her out...she will deff say no"

while i am thinking like this i am completly un-aware of how much time has past ...

dosnt make it less creepy though ..ive learned over the years to move my gaze on..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *JohnMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"But pretty much anyone who's ever met a woman knows this is disconcerting (or outside a sexual situation, even threatening)."

Yes and no. Meeting a woman isn't enough. They have to talk with her, listen to what she has to say, and (the big one) make some effort to see the world through her eyes. It's easy to be completely oblivious to the effect you have on someone, if you've never been the receiver of that kind of behaviour (I'm sure I still do some terrible things inadvertently, even though I try to be a decent person). Some people can't seem to make the connection even when they are.


"Being visually led is not a good reason to be a creep. "

Absolutely. "Boys will be boys" and all that are nothing more than poor excuses to continue being a bad human.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because women never stare....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

We like to look so we can admire what we see,

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ornyhornytwoCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

It is what it is. Doesn't bother us that much. I think like other people have previously said if they didn't stare there would be something wrong. Take it as a compliment I guess and say hi to them even if it's to be friendly. Once they speak they don't seem as scary haha. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably because your the most beautiful creature they've seen, either that or you have amazing boobies x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The staring thing is just one aspect of the many creepy things that go on in Swinger’s clubs. You can add in the way the men follow the ladies around, sit in the public spaces pleasuring themselves, uninvited touching etc etc.

I think if you’re bothered by the staring then do what we do, and don’t go."

At a party night in a club one evening, a few of us were wandering around the darkly lit corridors downstairs, and a man had been following us around doing the old towel shuffle (pulling his pudding) when we decided to fall back and he was then in front of us to my horror I noticed what looked like a line of shit! running down his glowing (under the fluorescent lit) white towel. To add to the horror my friend pipes up "is that shit on your towel mate?" To which his response was NOT verbal but he looked at it, removed the towel spun it around and wrapped it back around himself and then walked away. I think I'm trying to say that even when you speak to the starers they still don't reply anyway hahaha

I'd like to add I was smugger than a smug thing proving my point in a way I'd never expected as to why I bring my own towel to a club.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

?? very true guys in gyms are weirdos

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"the staring thing thought process can go like this

guy thinking" wow....she is hot as fuck"..."i wonder if she would go out with me,let me check...shes a 8 im a 5..maybe!, she looks like fun".."im gonna ask her out..what will i say though.hold on i cant just go up to a stranger in the street and ask her out..shit shit shit."im not gonna risk going up and asking her out...she will deff say no"

while i am thinking like this i am completly un-aware of how much time has past ...

dosnt make it less creepy though ..ive learned over the years to move my gaze on.."

They could also be thinking 'did I leave the grill on?' you know one of those stares where you've just drifted off and have to say "soz I'd wandered off there I wasn't staring at you" granted if he's in a jacuzzi and foaming at the mouth more than the jets then of course he's not thinking domestic appliances .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"It is what it is. Doesn't bother us that much. I think like other people have previously said if they didn't stare there would be something wrong. Take it as a compliment I guess and say hi to them even if it's to be friendly. Once they speak they don't seem as scary haha. X"

Sometimes they grunt and keep staring.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you go to a club as a woman, eg sit in a jacuzzi guys get in sit staring at you constantly, without saying a word, following and staring is just as spooky.

Guess it's the same reason some men enjoy lapdancing clubs. They're obviously more voyeurs than engagers. I'm not taking away from how creepy it must make you feel OP, but it does sound a bit like a 1970s comedy sketch. Maybe if the club sound system played the Benny Hill theme music it would help ?

I’m not sure about the music, seems only one in five can engage constructively. Seems there just hopeful that it works, perhaps it did once maybe so keep going "

Maybe single men should be banned from clubs, then couples and ladies can go without being stared at . It might also mean you have to pay double to get in though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is what it is. Doesn't bother us that much. I think like other people have previously said if they didn't stare there would be something wrong. Take it as a compliment I guess and say hi to them even if it's to be friendly. Once they speak they don't seem as scary haha. X

Sometimes they grunt and keep staring. "

I'm sorry, but PMSL

It sounds like those clubs are just full of herds of sweaty hog-like men, silently following women about and staring at them like it's feeding time

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe it was a blind mute

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is what it is. Doesn't bother us that much. I think like other people have previously said if they didn't stare there would be something wrong. Take it as a compliment I guess and say hi to them even if it's to be friendly. Once they speak they don't seem as scary haha. X

Sometimes they grunt and keep staring.

I'm sorry, but PMSL

It sounds like those clubs are just full of herds of sweaty hog-like men, silently following women about and staring at them like it's feeding time "

It is laughable, it is obvious that men aren’t welcome at these clubs, just ban them all

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"It is what it is. Doesn't bother us that much. I think like other people have previously said if they didn't stare there would be something wrong. Take it as a compliment I guess and say hi to them even if it's to be friendly. Once they speak they don't seem as scary haha. X

Sometimes they grunt and keep staring.

I'm sorry, but PMSL

It sounds like those clubs are just full of herds of sweaty hog-like men, silently following women about and staring at them like it's feeding time "

There's certainly a subset who fall into that category.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"It is what it is. Doesn't bother us that much. I think like other people have previously said if they didn't stare there would be something wrong. Take it as a compliment I guess and say hi to them even if it's to be friendly. Once they speak they don't seem as scary haha. X

Sometimes they grunt and keep staring.

I'm sorry, but PMSL

It sounds like those clubs are just full of herds of sweaty hog-like men, silently following women about and staring at them like it's feeding time

It is laughable, it is obvious that men aren’t welcome at these clubs, just ban them all "

... Or people who can't treat me like a person and engage with 50% of normal required social skills is not appreciated.

Yeah, I'm in lacy knickers and you might not be wearing much. Doesn't mean you get to be an animal.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is what it is. Doesn't bother us that much. I think like other people have previously said if they didn't stare there would be something wrong. Take it as a compliment I guess and say hi to them even if it's to be friendly. Once they speak they don't seem as scary haha. X

Sometimes they grunt and keep staring.

I'm sorry, but PMSL

It sounds like those clubs are just full of herds of sweaty hog-like men, silently following women about and staring at them like it's feeding time

It is laughable, it is obvious that men aren’t welcome at these clubs, just ban them all

... Or people who can't treat me like a person and engage with 50% of normal required social skills is not appreciated.

Yeah, I'm in lacy knickers and you might not be wearing much. Doesn't mean you get to be an animal. "

Animal? How many men have you encountered in a club who behave like an ‘animal’?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you go to a club as a woman, eg sit in a jacuzzi guys get in sit staring at you constantly, without saying a word, following and staring is just as spooky. "

I can't sit in a jacuzzi without talking, doesn't mean I want to fuck them but much less awkward then silence and staring at one another.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They might be thinking the same what are you starring at, ??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Maybe single men should be banned from clubs, then couples and ladies can go without being stared at . It might also mean you have to pay double to get in though "

They have single female and couples only nights... Don't spoil the fun of mixed nights for all of us

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They might be thinking the same what are you starring at, ?? "

Haha, true.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Maybe single men should be banned from clubs, then couples and ladies can go without being stared at . It might also mean you have to pay double to get in though

They have single female and couples only nights... Don't spoil the fun of mixed nights for all of us "

But these ‘animals’ keep staring at you all, they need to be banned immediately

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Maybe single men should be banned from clubs, then couples and ladies can go without being stared at . It might also mean you have to pay double to get in though

They have single female and couples only nights... Don't spoil the fun of mixed nights for all of us

But these ‘animals’ keep staring at you all, they need to be banned immediately "

I like being watched

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illow-TalkMan
over a year ago

Shipston-on-Stour

Wow this thread has some mixed thoughts on guys in clubs, quite simply guys that are polite and have good social etiquette have a good time in clubs, however the guys I refer to as ‘sex zombies’ who have no social skills at all go home frustrated... simples

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"It is what it is. Doesn't bother us that much. I think like other people have previously said if they didn't stare there would be something wrong. Take it as a compliment I guess and say hi to them even if it's to be friendly. Once they speak they don't seem as scary haha. X

Sometimes they grunt and keep staring.

I'm sorry, but PMSL

It sounds like those clubs are just full of herds of sweaty hog-like men, silently following women about and staring at them like it's feeding time

It is laughable, it is obvious that men aren’t welcome at these clubs, just ban them all

... Or people who can't treat me like a person and engage with 50% of normal required social skills is not appreciated.

Yeah, I'm in lacy knickers and you might not be wearing much. Doesn't mean you get to be an animal.

Animal? How many men have you encountered in a club who behave like an ‘animal’? "

A significant minority.

Every demographic has problems. But you said single guys aren't welcome. No, people who can't behave respectfully aren't welcome. I'm not sure why that's difficult.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Wow this thread has some mixed thoughts on guys in clubs, quite simply guys that are polite and have good social etiquette have a good time in clubs, however the guys I refer to as ‘sex zombies’ who have no social skills at all go home frustrated... simples "

Or this. Don't be part of the wanking dead.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Total lack of social skills and creepy as fuck. "

Second this

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *jEuphoriaCouple
over a year ago

north kent


"If you go to a club as a woman, eg sit in a jacuzzi guys get in sit staring at you constantly, without saying a word, following and staring is just as spooky. "

It’s downright rude!

Watch they don’t grope you in the jacuzzi too, they do it gently so you think it’s the bubbles.

Their behaviour stopped me going in them when I was single.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *jEuphoriaCouple
over a year ago

north kent


"If you go to a club as a woman, eg sit in a jacuzzi guys get in sit staring at you constantly, without saying a word, following and staring is just as spooky. "

Oh, and if you do chat to them out of politeness, they think it’s a ‘come on’,

You can’t win.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is what it is. Doesn't bother us that much. I think like other people have previously said if they didn't stare there would be something wrong. Take it as a compliment I guess and say hi to them even if it's to be friendly. Once they speak they don't seem as scary haha. X

Sometimes they grunt and keep staring.

I'm sorry, but PMSL

It sounds like those clubs are just full of herds of sweaty hog-like men, silently following women about and staring at them like it's feeding time

It is laughable, it is obvious that men aren’t welcome at these clubs, just ban them all

... Or people who can't treat me like a person and engage with 50% of normal required social skills is not appreciated.

Yeah, I'm in lacy knickers and you might not be wearing much. Doesn't mean you get to be an animal.

Animal? How many men have you encountered in a club who behave like an ‘animal’?

A significant minority.

Every demographic has problems. But you said single guys aren't welcome. No, people who can't behave respectfully aren't welcome. I'm not sure why that's difficult. "

Did you report this disgusting behaviour to the owners?? I hope they were dealt with

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you go to a club as a woman, eg sit in a jacuzzi guys get in sit staring at you constantly, without saying a word, following and staring is just as spooky.

It’s downright rude!

Watch they don’t grope you in the jacuzzi too, they do it gently so you think it’s the bubbles.

Their behaviour stopped me going in them when I was single. "

This is what I mean, animals

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"It is what it is. Doesn't bother us that much. I think like other people have previously said if they didn't stare there would be something wrong. Take it as a compliment I guess and say hi to them even if it's to be friendly. Once they speak they don't seem as scary haha. X

Sometimes they grunt and keep staring.

I'm sorry, but PMSL

It sounds like those clubs are just full of herds of sweaty hog-like men, silently following women about and staring at them like it's feeding time

It is laughable, it is obvious that men aren’t welcome at these clubs, just ban them all

... Or people who can't treat me like a person and engage with 50% of normal required social skills is not appreciated.

Yeah, I'm in lacy knickers and you might not be wearing much. Doesn't mean you get to be an animal.

Animal? How many men have you encountered in a club who behave like an ‘animal’?

A significant minority.

Every demographic has problems. But you said single guys aren't welcome. No, people who can't behave respectfully aren't welcome. I'm not sure why that's difficult.

Did you report this disgusting behaviour to the owners?? I hope they were dealt with "

Sometimes I do, sometimes I and others tell them to shove off.

I'm so sorry that you seem to be taking this personally. I couldn't imagine why.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is what it is. Doesn't bother us that much. I think like other people have previously said if they didn't stare there would be something wrong. Take it as a compliment I guess and say hi to them even if it's to be friendly. Once they speak they don't seem as scary haha. X

Sometimes they grunt and keep staring.

I'm sorry, but PMSL

It sounds like those clubs are just full of herds of sweaty hog-like men, silently following women about and staring at them like it's feeding time

It is laughable, it is obvious that men aren’t welcome at these clubs, just ban them all

... Or people who can't treat me like a person and engage with 50% of normal required social skills is not appreciated.

Yeah, I'm in lacy knickers and you might not be wearing much. Doesn't mean you get to be an animal.

Animal? How many men have you encountered in a club who behave like an ‘animal’?

A significant minority.

Every demographic has problems. But you said single guys aren't welcome. No, people who can't behave respectfully aren't welcome. I'm not sure why that's difficult.

Did you report this disgusting behaviour to the owners?? I hope they were dealt with

Sometimes I do, sometimes I and others tell them to shove off.

I'm so sorry that you seem to be taking this personally. I couldn't imagine why. "

I haven’t taken it personally,I am shocked and I would never stare at you in a club, I think it’s disgusting behaviour. I just hope it hasn’t caused you any psychological problems

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you go to a club as a woman, eg sit in a jacuzzi guys get in sit staring at you constantly, without saying a word, following and staring is just as spooky. "

Simple really,they've never shared a bath with a woman before

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't attend adult clubs but men stare anywhere. When I'm in the bar and a guy next to me does it, I start staring at his crotch for about 30 seconds. It must work because he moves and leaves me alone "

Hahaha

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is what it is. Doesn't bother us that much. I think like other people have previously said if they didn't stare there would be something wrong. Take it as a compliment I guess and say hi to them even if it's to be friendly. Once they speak they don't seem as scary haha. X

Sometimes they grunt and keep staring.

I'm sorry, but PMSL

It sounds like those clubs are just full of herds of sweaty hog-like men, silently following women about and staring at them like it's feeding time

It is laughable, it is obvious that men aren’t welcome at these clubs, just ban them all

... Or people who can't treat me like a person and engage with 50% of normal required social skills is not appreciated.

Yeah, I'm in lacy knickers and you might not be wearing much. Doesn't mean you get to be an animal.

Animal? How many men have you encountered in a club who behave like an ‘animal’?

A significant minority.

Every demographic has problems. But you said single guys aren't welcome. No, people who can't behave respectfully aren't welcome. I'm not sure why that's difficult.

Did you report this disgusting behaviour to the owners?? I hope they were dealt with "

Can you report someone for staring?

"excuse me club owner, but this customer is making me feel uncomfortable"

"what did he do to make you feel uncomfortable?"

"he looked at me"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"It is what it is. Doesn't bother us that much. I think like other people have previously said if they didn't stare there would be something wrong. Take it as a compliment I guess and say hi to them even if it's to be friendly. Once they speak they don't seem as scary haha. X

Sometimes they grunt and keep staring.

I'm sorry, but PMSL

It sounds like those clubs are just full of herds of sweaty hog-like men, silently following women about and staring at them like it's feeding time

It is laughable, it is obvious that men aren’t welcome at these clubs, just ban them all

... Or people who can't treat me like a person and engage with 50% of normal required social skills is not appreciated.

Yeah, I'm in lacy knickers and you might not be wearing much. Doesn't mean you get to be an animal.

Animal? How many men have you encountered in a club who behave like an ‘animal’?

A significant minority.

Every demographic has problems. But you said single guys aren't welcome. No, people who can't behave respectfully aren't welcome. I'm not sure why that's difficult.

Did you report this disgusting behaviour to the owners?? I hope they were dealt with

Can you report someone for staring?

"excuse me club owner, but this customer is making me feel uncomfortable"

"what did he do to make you feel uncomfortable?"

"he looked at me"

"

Sometimes social consequences are all that are merited. The starers rarely have a good time.

Touchers/ spankers (without consent) are another matter.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is what it is. Doesn't bother us that much. I think like other people have previously said if they didn't stare there would be something wrong. Take it as a compliment I guess and say hi to them even if it's to be friendly. Once they speak they don't seem as scary haha. X

Sometimes they grunt and keep staring.

I'm sorry, but PMSL

It sounds like those clubs are just full of herds of sweaty hog-like men, silently following women about and staring at them like it's feeding time

It is laughable, it is obvious that men aren’t welcome at these clubs, just ban them all

... Or people who can't treat me like a person and engage with 50% of normal required social skills is not appreciated.

Yeah, I'm in lacy knickers and you might not be wearing much. Doesn't mean you get to be an animal.

Animal? How many men have you encountered in a club who behave like an ‘animal’?

A significant minority.

Every demographic has problems. But you said single guys aren't welcome. No, people who can't behave respectfully aren't welcome. I'm not sure why that's difficult.

Did you report this disgusting behaviour to the owners?? I hope they were dealt with

Can you report someone for staring?

"excuse me club owner, but this customer is making me feel uncomfortable"

"what did he do to make you feel uncomfortable?"

"he looked at me"

Sometimes social consequences are all that are merited. The starers rarely have a good time.

Touchers/ spankers (without consent) are another matter. "

OH yes, that is a completely different matter, that is assault.

I was questioning more the fact someone suggested that a complaint be made because someone looked at, or stared at them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"It is what it is. Doesn't bother us that much. I think like other people have previously said if they didn't stare there would be something wrong. Take it as a compliment I guess and say hi to them even if it's to be friendly. Once they speak they don't seem as scary haha. X

Sometimes they grunt and keep staring.

I'm sorry, but PMSL

It sounds like those clubs are just full of herds of sweaty hog-like men, silently following women about and staring at them like it's feeding time

It is laughable, it is obvious that men aren’t welcome at these clubs, just ban them all

... Or people who can't treat me like a person and engage with 50% of normal required social skills is not appreciated.

Yeah, I'm in lacy knickers and you might not be wearing much. Doesn't mean you get to be an animal.

Animal? How many men have you encountered in a club who behave like an ‘animal’?

A significant minority.

Every demographic has problems. But you said single guys aren't welcome. No, people who can't behave respectfully aren't welcome. I'm not sure why that's difficult.

Did you report this disgusting behaviour to the owners?? I hope they were dealt with

Can you report someone for staring?

"excuse me club owner, but this customer is making me feel uncomfortable"

"what did he do to make you feel uncomfortable?"

"he looked at me"

Sometimes social consequences are all that are merited. The starers rarely have a good time.

Touchers/ spankers (without consent) are another matter.

OH yes, that is a completely different matter, that is assault.

I was questioning more the fact someone suggested that a complaint be made because someone looked at, or stared at them.

"

Oh I agree. It doesn't matter overly. We handle ourselves, and people who misbehave tend not to find good clubs rewarding.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is what it is. Doesn't bother us that much. I think like other people have previously said if they didn't stare there would be something wrong. Take it as a compliment I guess and say hi to them even if it's to be friendly. Once they speak they don't seem as scary haha. X

Sometimes they grunt and keep staring.

I'm sorry, but PMSL

It sounds like those clubs are just full of herds of sweaty hog-like men, silently following women about and staring at them like it's feeding time

It is laughable, it is obvious that men aren’t welcome at these clubs, just ban them all

... Or people who can't treat me like a person and engage with 50% of normal required social skills is not appreciated.

Yeah, I'm in lacy knickers and you might not be wearing much. Doesn't mean you get to be an animal.

Animal? How many men have you encountered in a club who behave like an ‘animal’?

A significant minority.

Every demographic has problems. But you said single guys aren't welcome. No, people who can't behave respectfully aren't welcome. I'm not sure why that's difficult.

Did you report this disgusting behaviour to the owners?? I hope they were dealt with

Can you report someone for staring?

"excuse me club owner, but this customer is making me feel uncomfortable"

"what did he do to make you feel uncomfortable?"

"he looked at me"

"

I think the clubs need to tighten up there rules, you can’t look at anyone without getting their consent first .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This post reminded me of a short vid on YouTube of a blind man eating an ice cream.

Somewhat off topic, but worth a look.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"It is what it is. Doesn't bother us that much. I think like other people have previously said if they didn't stare there would be something wrong. Take it as a compliment I guess and say hi to them even if it's to be friendly. Once they speak they don't seem as scary haha. X

Sometimes they grunt and keep staring.

I'm sorry, but PMSL

It sounds like those clubs are just full of herds of sweaty hog-like men, silently following women about and staring at them like it's feeding time

It is laughable, it is obvious that men aren’t welcome at these clubs, just ban them all

... Or people who can't treat me like a person and engage with 50% of normal required social skills is not appreciated.

Yeah, I'm in lacy knickers and you might not be wearing much. Doesn't mean you get to be an animal.

Animal? How many men have you encountered in a club who behave like an ‘animal’?

A significant minority.

Every demographic has problems. But you said single guys aren't welcome. No, people who can't behave respectfully aren't welcome. I'm not sure why that's difficult.

Did you report this disgusting behaviour to the owners?? I hope they were dealt with

Can you report someone for staring?

"excuse me club owner, but this customer is making me feel uncomfortable"

"what did he do to make you feel uncomfortable?"

"he looked at me"

Sometimes social consequences are all that are merited. The starers rarely have a good time.

Touchers/ spankers (without consent) are another matter.

OH yes, that is a completely different matter, that is assault.

I was questioning more the fact someone suggested that a complaint be made because someone looked at, or stared at them.

Oh I agree. It doesn't matter overly. We handle ourselves, and people who misbehave tend not to find good clubs rewarding. "

Like a lot of things in this world, there's counsels of perfections then there's reality.

The counsel of perfection would be all men having good social skills and not being creepy.

The reality is that, at any club, there's going to be low level creepiness from a number of men. Reasons being.

1. On the whole and without stereotyping etc etc, there are more men than women who have difficulty interacting with the opposite sex.

2. Men vastly out number women in the swinging life and at clubs. Hence there will always be some men got getting any action and getting their kids by staring and wanking.

3. There's the embarrassment factor. For some men it's far less scary to get off sexually with or over a woman if you don't talk to her.

4. Men are the financial life blood of clubs. As long as they don't go over the boundary into physical harassment, clubs aren't going to discourage people who just stare and wank.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 15/05/19 15:34:03]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Kicks, not kids!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Kicks, not kids! "

Phew

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've encountered women in the past that have been a tad granted mostly men but not solely. There could be many reasons for it, I'd ask if curious enough though.

Because men are normally visual-lead; women instead tend to be more sensitive and emotional.

If men stare at you but don't approach could be due to lack of self-confidence and social skills"

It's all about understanding the differences.

Primary reason some don't know if someone is flirting or not too. We're different. Respond differently.

Then there are some ladies that love the attention of being looked at or watched. You can't win them all.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This post reminded me of a short vid on YouTube of a blind man eating an ice cream.

Somewhat off topic, but worth a look. "

Have you watched the series. Blind man on safari? It's brilliant. He takes different women on a trip around the world. They learn what it's like to be blind. He certainly demonstrates trust in others where the women freak out with just going up and asking strangers questions. They learn what it really means to listen rather than just see. It's really good to see how as things progress they learn there's far more to 'see' than what just appears in front of their eyes.

The one in Morroco was one of the best.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The staring thing is just one aspect of the many creepy things that go on in Swinger’s clubs. You can add in the way the men follow the ladies around, sit in the public spaces pleasuring themselves, uninvited touching etc etc.

I think if you’re bothered by the staring then do what we do, and don’t go."

Sound like there is a gap in the market for a 'Mrs. Beeton's Book of Adult Club Etiquette'....I can imagine it's content now :-

'A gentalman attending a mass carnal exercion establishment should always behave in a manner which befits a cultured and considerate libertine. He should never be boorish and should display at all times impeccable manners that attest to civilized breeding, as follows....

* Remember a lady is a lady, and should always be treated as such, whether she be dressed in her mid afternoon petticoat, while partaking of a scone at the tea rooms or attired merely in scarlet polyvinyl chloride boots terminating above the knees and a pair of mammary duct clamped attachments, while partaking of her companion(s) engorged phallus upon the edge of a communal heated bath within a carnal pleasures function house.

* When one finds oneself within close proximity to a lady / ladies / couple / party of orgyical numbers, one should alway endeavor to engage in dignified and cordial conversation.

* While admiring the feminine form one should never transfix ones gaze while remaining devoid of verbal exchange. Even if the lady who's proximity you are enjoying requires her to adopt an all fours canine stance while receiving a vigorous thrusting from another, a conversing gentleman should still position himself where eyecontact can be maintained with the lady, while indulging in discourse of a suitably genteel nature such as the temperate nature of the weather of late, or perhaps the seasonal floral displays at the town's recreational park amenities.

* Should a lady within your vicinity be orally occupied on such an occasion, a gentleman should of course direct his conversation mostly towards the gentleman / gentlemen responsible for engaging the ladies mouth, by discussing the fortunes of the local cricket / rugby union football team, while always making sure to periodically nod while making eye contact, in acknowledgment of any guttural noises or mumbled interjections the lady / ladies might make throughout the conversation.

* A gentleman within the vicinity of such copulation should always have the manners and presence of mind to request permission of the carnally engaged party, before one begins stimulating ones own phallic member. Upon recieving approval from those present, then and only then should one expose and begin any sort of stimulating manipulation of ones phallus.

* A considerate lone gentelman of good breeding should furthermore again enquire of, and in particular recieve express permission and consent of any and all ladies in the party, should he wish to bring forth the fluids of his loins upon any limbs, torso or other areas of a ladies body. Even when such permission is granted, only an absolute bounder would then proceed with such a scattering, without first forewarning the aforementioned persons with an expression such as ' please excuse me madam / ladies, but I feel it only right to inform you that I am about to go crosseyed'...thus giving all present ample forewarning. If one finds oneself in the unfortunate position of being caught unawares by an imminent and suddenly approaching climactic episode, one can still maintain a modicum of consideration for others by loadly and clearly declaring the warning...'In-coming'.

*Finally in this introductory etiquette for lone gentlemen, who find themselves the fortunate guests of such gracious establishments, one should always be cognisant not to follow either single ladies or couples about the public chambers and halls, either soley or in mute herds in the fashion of a lost lamb or an estranged flock of the Bow-Peep estate.

Mrs. Beeton would like to take this opportunity to wish you all continued pleasant times in your respective frolics establishments, and remind you all that there is no better testimony to good decorum than appearing unawkward in awkward circumstances.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I mean, it is just as simple as,

Try to make people comfortable. Appreciative looks are fine, staring like a hungry dog isn't appreciated. Talk to people, be friendly, engage with both halves of a couple where applicable, a bit of small talk. Grunting is bad. Following people around grunting and wanking is worse. If in any doubt, don't touch let alone grope, spank, or penetrate.

Condoms aren't optional.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I mean, it is just as simple as,

Try to make people comfortable. Appreciative looks are fine, staring like a hungry dog isn't appreciated. Talk to people, be friendly, engage with both halves of a couple where applicable, a bit of small talk. Grunting is bad. Following people around grunting and wanking is worse. If in any doubt, don't touch let alone grope, spank, or penetrate.

Condoms aren't optional. "

Feck that's brilliant and concise !

What she said

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ( Mrs) am usually in my own little bubble and don't notice people staring at all, its hubby that's often tells me if they are .

I do kind of stare sometimes not realising.... again in my own little world ( it's fun in here haha) .

Sometimes it's more of someone I find attractive so try to catch thier eye and hold eye contact a little if across a room etc, but if they come close I will try to start conversation with them . Suppose we all do it without realising at some point but the ones who stare when close to you and say nothing if you look at them but carry on I find odd .

Mrs xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually it's because that individual is very interested but lacks the social skills or fortitude to approach and get destroyed.

Women do definitely do it as well but less often as they rarely find themselves in the situation.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't attend adult clubs but men stare anywhere. When I'm in the bar and a guy next to me does it, I start staring at his crotch for about 30 seconds. It must work because he moves and leaves me alone "

I do the same back and it freaks them out, or delights them lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"The staring thing is just one aspect of the many creepy things that go on in Swinger’s clubs. You can add in the way the men follow the ladies around, sit in the public spaces pleasuring themselves, uninvited touching etc etc.

I think if you’re bothered by the staring then do what we do, and don’t go.

Sound like there is a gap in the market for a 'Mrs. Beeton's Book of Adult Club Etiquette'....I can imagine it's content now :-

'A gentalman attending a mass carnal exercion establishment should always behave in a manner which befits a cultured and considerate libertine. He should never be boorish and should display at all times impeccable manners that attest to civilized breeding, as follows....

* Remember a lady is a lady, and should always be treated as such, whether she be dressed in her mid afternoon petticoat, while partaking of a scone at the tea rooms or attired merely in scarlet polyvinyl chloride boots terminating above the knees and a pair of mammary duct clamped attachments, while partaking of her companion(s) engorged phallus upon the edge of a communal heated bath within a carnal pleasures function house.

* When one finds oneself within close proximity to a lady / ladies / couple / party of orgyical numbers, one should alway endeavor to engage in dignified and cordial conversation.

* While admiring the feminine form one should never transfix ones gaze while remaining devoid of verbal exchange. Even if the lady who's proximity you are enjoying requires her to adopt an all fours canine stance while receiving a vigorous thrusting from another, a conversing gentleman should still position himself where eyecontact can be maintained with the lady, while indulging in discourse of a suitably genteel nature such as the temperate nature of the weather of late, or perhaps the seasonal floral displays at the town's recreational park amenities.

* Should a lady within your vicinity be orally occupied on such an occasion, a gentleman should of course direct his conversation mostly towards the gentleman / gentlemen responsible for engaging the ladies mouth, by discussing the fortunes of the local cricket / rugby union football team, while always making sure to periodically nod while making eye contact, in acknowledgment of any guttural noises or mumbled interjections the lady / ladies might make throughout the conversation.

* A gentleman within the vicinity of such copulation should always have the manners and presence of mind to request permission of the carnally engaged party, before one begins stimulating ones own phallic member. Upon recieving approval from those present, then and only then should one expose and begin any sort of stimulating manipulation of ones phallus.

* A considerate lone gentelman of good breeding should furthermore again enquire of, and in particular recieve express permission and consent of any and all ladies in the party, should he wish to bring forth the fluids of his loins upon any limbs, torso or other areas of a ladies body. Even when such permission is granted, only an absolute bounder would then proceed with such a scattering, without first forewarning the aforementioned persons with an expression such as ' please excuse me madam / ladies, but I feel it only right to inform you that I am about to go crosseyed'...thus giving all present ample forewarning. If one finds oneself in the unfortunate position of being caught unawares by an imminent and suddenly approaching climactic episode, one can still maintain a modicum of consideration for others by loadly and clearly declaring the warning...'In-coming'.

*Finally in this introductory etiquette for lone gentlemen, who find themselves the fortunate guests of such gracious establishments, one should always be cognisant not to follow either single ladies or couples about the public chambers and halls, either soley or in mute herds in the fashion of a lost lamb or an estranged flock of the Bow-Peep estate.

Mrs. Beeton would like to take this opportunity to wish you all continued pleasant times in your respective frolics establishments, and remind you all that there is no better testimony to good decorum than appearing unawkward in awkward circumstances. "

Love it x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otwife for use OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester


"I mean, it is just as simple as,

Try to make people comfortable. Appreciative looks are fine, staring like a hungry dog isn't appreciated. Talk to people, be friendly, engage with both halves of a couple where applicable, a bit of small talk. Grunting is bad. Following people around grunting and wanking is worse. If in any doubt, don't touch let alone grope, spank, or penetrate.

Condoms aren't optional. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ovelifelovefuntimesMan
over a year ago

Where ever I lay my hat

I tend to approach clubs I the same way as other social interaction. Chat, be Nice, don't overtly stare or make people in anyway feel uncomfortable and don't expect everyone woman or couple to want any physical contact. Seems to work but maybe it's an experience thing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otwife for use OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester


"I tend to approach clubs I the same way as other social interaction. Chat, be Nice, don't overtly stare or make people in anyway feel uncomfortable and don't expect everyone woman or couple to want any physical contact. Seems to work but maybe it's an experience thing."

Agreed no expectations and good conversation, would engage better, most visits I have. I’m unlikely to see someone I want to be interested in. Staring is a bad start I’m already back footing all guys at that point.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I was in Cupid’s the other Sunday with a female friend. Three couples and about six single guys. Not one of them tried to engage us in conversation. They just lurked in the doorways of rooms. I said to my friend. If we were looking for a man these guys are not doing themselves any favours. Odd!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For years we spent lots of time in public spas / swimming pools in Germany (Bremen, Hamburg and Hannover) and Amsterdam, choosing one’s that were naturist only. As a man I quickly had to adapt to not staring and to being relaxed about the varied bodies that were often very close to me. This was in contrast to my more social sauna visits in Hamburg and Amsterdam, mostly male only establishments, where staring was part of the ritual of finding fun. Here in the U.K. when visiting health spas that are always clothed I am actually more uncomfortable, and even try not to swim too close to a woman in case she thinks I am perving.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top