FabSwingers.com forum: Clubs...... Nervousness..... Help....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Last night me and minx decided we was going to pop our V bubble and go to liaisons, first we went for a drink and I felt fine, I rang liaisons to check times and prices and was still fine.....

As we headed up the hill I started to feel a little nervous and minx gave me the opition of walking past which I snapped up and then I bottled it, by the time I built up the courage again minx wanted to go home...

Now about me am 24 am confidant and love my sex life with minx..... In fact its the best sex life I have had... I have slept with 8 girls and had oral off many others so am not nervous about sex at all in fact I will wimp it out anyway lol......

Viki is 33 and gets a lot of attention which annoys me when the guys no am there... But I can deal with it.

I want to go to a club and I want me and minx to enjoy it.......

Has anyone got advise or seen this before...

Because I hate regrets

Thanks for reading

Scouse x

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Why not go to a club just to have a look round, without putting either of you under pressure to play? Some clubs have occassional 'newbie' nights and at others the staff will show you round if you tell them its your first visit.

Lots of people go to clubs and dont play every time - nothing wrong with just going to socialise, chat with people and have a look round. You dont have to go and 'perform'.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Last night me and minx decided we was going to pop our V bubble and go to liaisons, first we went for a drink and I felt fine, I rang liaisons to check times and prices and was still fine.....

Viki is 33 and gets a lot of attention which annoys me when the guys no am there... But I can deal with it.

I want to go to a club and I want me and minx to enjoy it.......

Has anyone got advise or seen this before...

Because I hate regrets

Thanks for reading

Scouse x "

the first thing I say to club newbies is that the biggest and bravest step is "walking thru that front door".... after you realise that everyone is normal then you'll relax a lot more...

just take it all at a pace that you are both happy with... and another person/couple who is worth there salt will talk to BOTH of you.... you are both there for a good night.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

(Minx) we won't do anything that one of us feels uncomfortable with, if one of us is not 100% sure then it doesn't happen.

I think taking the first steps are the hardest for sure, maybe once we have talked it through some more we will both feel 100% and the fun can begin.

thank u for you advice x

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

Why not put your name down for a club social, look in uk forums, quite a few ppl have birthday parties in clubs, then u know there will be quite a few ppl there just to chat and u can never leave the bar area if u dont want to...

It is perfectly normal to be nervous, we first went to a club 3 years ago ,i was bricking it and drank half a bottle of wine before we even left the house

That is after many years of swinging...once you go though you will soon discover its not as bad as you feared.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Point 1 - Viki will get a LOT of attention. Learn to love it not just deal with it or it could spoil the experience.

So suggestions.... no one has to do anything in a club.... so why not try going with the intention of doing nothing other than enjoying the feel of the place for an hour or so. No one will mind if that is all you want to do.

What is it which makes you feel nervous?

What thought makes it so hard to get to the door?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Why not put your name down for a club social, look in uk forums, quite a few ppl have birthday parties in clubs, then u know there will be quite a few ppl there just to chat and u can never leave the bar area if u dont want to...

I avoid club socials... the whole feel of the club changes, it's often too packed, the way people play is different.... oh and a whole list of other stuff.

Sometimes a quieter time is better for a first experience.

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area

the first thing I say to club newbies is that the biggest and bravest step is "walking thru that front door".... after you realise that everyone is normal then you'll relax a lot more...

just take it all at a pace that you are both happy with... and another person/couple who is worth there salt will talk to BOTH of you.... you are both there for a good night....."

Not much different from walking into any club really....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Last night me and minx decided we was going to pop our V bubble and go to liaisons, first we went for a drink and I felt fine, I rang liaisons to check times and prices and was still fine.....

Viki is 33 and gets a lot of attention which annoys me when the guys no am there... But I can deal with it.

I want to go to a club and I want me and minx to enjoy it.......

Has anyone got advise or seen this before...

Because I hate regrets

Thanks for reading

Scouse x "

May we make a suggestion.

Why not befriend a couple who go regularly and meet for a social drink and they may well then agree to go along with you to the club. I know it's happened for others and there are many couples who are friendly, local and happy to help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I avoid club socials... the whole feel of the club changes, it's often too packed, the way people play is different.... oh and a whole list of other stuff.

Sometimes a quieter time is better for a first experience."

Polo is spot on with that socials at clubs can be overweening quieter nights are far better if you are a little nervous.

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

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By *landPeggyCouple
over a year ago

Holland !

What _abio said is spot on, the Dutch even have a word for it "drempel frees" even though it's two words, translates to "fear of door step".

Peg announced when finally entering "We're not Swingers!", been going back to the club regularly for about three years now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

May we make a suggestion.

Minx did say this last night and I guess it would be worth a try...

Thanks everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have only been to a club once.

Me (james) was shitting bricks and really nervous but that soon stopped. We had a few drinks as soon as we got in just to calm the nerves.

We didnt play with anyone, but we did play in front of other to watch and we chatted to alot of couples.

Were looking forward to going back, its been to long lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to a club once. Tho I was lucky to be quite popular as a single lad, I must say I did find the whole experience abit nerve wrecking.

this and another couple of things hat happen have led me to think t.hat I personaly am not the exobistion type at all and am therfore just happy to stick wit.h one on one meets these days

Sorry dont mean to look like I am hijacking this thread at all as I am not.

What I am trying to say is that clubs are not always for every one. Maybe others may feel the same as I do ?

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By *lashnsparkleCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

We Love Clubs!

Everyone is always friendly without the pressure of a private meet.

It makes it easy to flirt with people you fancy knowing everyone is of the same mindset.

Go for it you will love it.

Some clubs have couples only nights, most have private rooms if you don't want to be an exhibitionist.

We are off to TVA Saturday 80 couples on the guest list! Yipee

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I went to a club once. Tho I was lucky to be quite popular as a single lad, I must say I did find the whole experience abit nerve wrecking.

this and another couple of things hat happen have led me to think t.hat I personaly am not the exobistion type at all and am therfore just happy to stick wit.h one on one meets these days

Sorry dont mean to look like I am hijacking this thread at all as I am not.

What I am trying to say is that clubs are not always for every one. Maybe others may feel the same as I do ?"

Activities within the swinging scene are obviously not going to be for everyone, even swingers have things they like and don't like. There are plenty of other non-swingers on here who are happy enough just doing a bit of 1-2-1.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I went to a club once. Tho I was lucky to be quite popular as a single lad, I must say I did find the whole experience abit nerve wrecking.

this and another couple of things hat happen have led me to think t.hat I personaly am not the exobistion type at all and am therfore just happy to stick wit.h one on one meets these days

Sorry dont mean to look like I am hijacking this thread at all as I am not.

What I am trying to say is that clubs are not always for every one. Maybe others may feel the same as I do ?

So that then makes me a none swingerdoes it? lol

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I went to a club once. Tho I was lucky to be quite popular as a single lad, I must say I did find the whole experience abit nerve wrecking.

this and another couple of things hat happen have led me to think t.hat I personaly am not the exobistion type at all and am therfore just happy to stick wit.h one on one meets these days

Sorry dont mean to look like I am hijacking this thread at all as I am not.

What I am trying to say is that clubs are not always for every one. Maybe others may feel the same as I do ?

So that then makes me a none swingerdoes it? lol

Generally speaking yeah it probably does. If trying various activities has made you realise 1-2-1 is your thing and it's what you want to stick to then, I'd say it does.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I went to a club once. Tho I was lucky to be quite popular as a single lad, I must say I did find the whole experience abit nerve wrecking.

this and another couple of things hat happen have led me to think t.hat I personaly am not the exobistion type at all and am therfore just happy to stick wit.h one on one meets these days

Sorry dont mean to look like I am hijacking this thread at all as I am not.

What I am trying to say is that clubs are not always for every one. Maybe others may feel the same as I do ?

So that then makes me a none swingerdoes it? lol

Generally speaking yeah it probably does. If trying various activities has made you realise 1-2-1 is your thing and it's what you want to stick to then, I'd say it does."

I was saying pretty much the same thing last night to a FB of mine lol cheers

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I was bricking it the first time I went to a club, even going with a mate. Then when I started going on my own, I was bricking it again! Once you've done it it gets a lot easier.

It's now like a regular venue for me. I don't even expect to play any more (although I usually do). I just like to drink, chat, and catch up with the friends I've made there.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'd recommend getting friendly with others who visit where you want to go, and who you could share transport with, if possible, so that any drinking wouldn't affect driving etc, and you'd be able to relax. These don't have to be people that you'd swing with, but people that you trust and feel something in common with. If you do get lifts, it would be reasonable to assume that you'd return the favour/share costs, though you could ensure that there's agreement over leaving arrangements, should either party want to leave at a different point. We've generally felt better when others help us to find our way, if we're not quite sure etc. You'll likely end up having a great time - good luck!

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"Last night me and minx decided we was going to pop our V bubble and go to liaisons, first we went for a drink and I felt fine, I rang liaisons to check times and prices and was still fine.....

Viki is 33 and gets a lot of attention which annoys me when the guys no am there... But I can deal with it.

I want to go to a club and I want me and minx to enjoy it.......

Has anyone got advise or seen this before...

Because I hate regrets

Thanks for reading

Scouse x

the first thing I say to club newbies is that the biggest and bravest step is "walking thru that front door".... after you realise that everyone is normal then you'll relax a lot more...

just take it all at a pace that you are both happy with... and another person/couple who is worth there salt will talk to BOTH of you.... you are both there for a good night....."

good advice..

go at your own pace..

your not there to 'perform' or have to participate..

enjoy and hope it works for you both..

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I went to a club once. Tho I was lucky to be quite popular as a single lad, I must say I did find the whole experience abit nerve wrecking.

this and another couple of things hat happen have led me to think t.hat I personaly am not the exobistion type at all and am therfore just happy to stick wit.h one on one meets these days

Sorry dont mean to look like I am hijacking this thread at all as I am not.

What I am trying to say is that clubs are not always for every one. Maybe others may feel the same as I do ?

So that then makes me a none swingerdoes it? lol

Generally speaking yeah it probably does. If trying various activities has made you realise 1-2-1 is your thing and it's what you want to stick to then, I'd say it does.

I was saying pretty much the same thing last night to a FB of mine lol cheers"

It's not a bad thing.

It's certainly doesn't make anyone more or less of a shag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We were terrified the first time we went to Chams. We knew we wouldn't be playing with anyone, but I assumed that our clothes would be ripped off as soon as we walked in. It was nerve racking walking to the bar in underwear as that was the first time I'd been in public wearing a corset and stockings.

I wouldn't give anyone eye contact in case they thought I wanted sex with them, I wouldn't sit down in a public play area in case they all jumped on me and it took me a long while to drop my towel and go naked into the jacuzzi. In fact being naked was the most terrifying thing for me.

But I loved seeing people dressed sexily, eyes nearly dropped out of my head when I saw a woman give a guy a BJ in the bar area, in fact seeing real people have sex for the first time was fascinating.

We didn't play with anyone but ourselves for a while, then we tried soft swinging and did that for many many months, so taking our time worked for us.

I would also say that club socials wouldn't be the best night as the club atmosphere is very different to a normal night.

Don't worry its natural. We've all been scared the first time we've been to a club but the majority of people love it, we certainly do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok first get all preconceptions out of your head about swinger clubs yes sex goes on but its much more sociable. Think of it as clubbing without the bullshit go relax have fun if you want to play then cool there are clubs with private rooms too if you are shy. And when you get that eureka moment you will be hooked.

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

May we make a suggestion.

Minx did say this last night and I guess it would be worth a try...

Thanks everyone "

Good for you..go for it, your braver than us...but remember though, dont put yourselves through the mincer over it..dont force yourself to go..youl end up going against your own will..which isnt a good situation to be in..if you really dont feel right about it, dont go..you'll still wake up in the morning.

It isnt the be all and end all...do what YOU feel comfortable with..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks everyone

Scouse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

adam and eves is closer to you than most.... just pop by say yu are new and they ll look after you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"adam and eves is closer to you than most.... just pop by say yu are new and they ll look after you "

nice thumb

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are to getting our courage up.. but travelling is putting us off because we dont drive and Clubs are out the way.. and btw we be tryin soon

, if u can make it to a club relax and be asked to be held by the hand to be shouwn around

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

i hope going to a club hasnt put them off swinging

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

Maybe they have used the site for advice only and they went back the next night.

They'd only joined a few days ago hadn,t they ?

Ne'mind. We wish them all the best.

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