FabSwingers.com forum: Feeling chunky

By *ittlemisssassypants OP Couple
over a year ago

South East Wales

First of all, this really is not a fishing post for compliments, or a look at me post.

So, I’m a big girl and for the most part I manage to make it work and I dress nicely which I think helps me in that regard.

I’m constantly trying to be less of a fatty and my size and shape often stops me (us?) from responding or meeting people because the couple’s have great figures and I don’t understand why they want to meet us when I’m much bigger than them.

Or I worry I’m misleading people with my pictures because I obviously take them from the better angles etc and when they meet me/us they’ll be disappointed (this hasn’t happened but it’s always in the back of my mind)

I guess the crux of this post is, we have a meet tomorrow and, although we’ve met these people before, I can’t help thinking ‘I’m going to be the fattest person there’ and I don’t want that spoiling my fun.

Obviously the main thing is I need to lose weight, but that isn’t going to happen overnight and I’m wondering if I’m alone in these thoughts and how is best to overcome them?

Thanks- and again not fishing for compliments, just advice on how to get out of my bloody head

Sassy

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By *assparellasparkeldustCouple
over a year ago

BLACKPOOL

You look fine to me nicely toned and in all the right places ...ps I'm not into women but i know when I see a sexy woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sassy,ive battled body dismorphia

For 20 years, i was always the skinny one. ive been hammering the gym and still feel self concious in a t shirt even though im 13st low body fat and get many compliments. What i see in a mirror is different to how others view me.

Please Dont let how you view yourself put you off meeting, many guys infact most arnt judging you no matter what you think... and quite honestly most guys (me included) prefer a curvy woman. You look fantastic and any guy/girl would be a looky bugger to get sexually envolved.

Try looking in the mirror every morning first thing and last thing at night and say 'im beautiful im sexy' 5 times repeat it every morning even if its in ur head.... you WILL change your train of thought. Hope this helps x

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By *iBBW and hubbyCouple
over a year ago

oxford

You’ve got to remember that thinness does not equal sexiness.

Media beauty & body standards skew our perception of our bodies in that taking up space is seen as a negative, and the only way your body can be good is by being as small as possible but this is not right. What is sexy is someone’s mind, their attitude, confidence, not just their body, and obviously the couple you are meeting like you otherwise they wouldn’t have arranged a meet.

I have a couple of friends only full body photos - all lumps and bumps out so no one can say they didn’t know what they were getting when we do meet in person!

You are a sexy person because of who you are, own it!

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By *TkitkatWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire

I think we've all been guilty of only showing "better sides" so you needn't worry about that.

I've struggled with body confidence for years and only recently have I started to be bold and let the negativity roll off me. Trouble is, a lot of the negativity still persists in my own head!!

I'm sure deep down everyone you're with tomorrow won't even give it a second thought, that's what I keep telling myself when it's clear someone is looking past my insecurities and fancies me for me! Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look fantastic to me. People are usually their own worst critics. If somebody is contacting you they obviously find you attractive, you'll probably find they have hang ups about themselves and prefer how you look to themselves. We are our own harshest critics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"First of all, this really is not a fishing post for compliments, or a look at me post.

So, I’m a big girl and for the most part I manage to make it work and I dress nicely which I think helps me in that regard.

Obviously the main thing is I need to lose weight, but that isn’t going to happen overnight and I’m wondering if I’m alone in these thoughts and how is best to overcome them?

Thanks- and again not fishing for compliments, just advice on how to get out of my bloody head

Sassy"

We both enjoy bigger, fuller figured girls and I can imagine were not the only couple and that's why there interested in you. We both checked your pics and you look bloody great

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By *rustratedmissWoman
over a year ago

York

I have the same issue OP I find that I always feel compelled to make sure that prospective meets have seen that I have called myself large on my profile. It's not an issue for me and I have no hang ups won either getting or being naked but don't want to mislead anyone.

Obviously any pics we put up.are going to be at flattering angles - everyone's are.

I also am less likely to meet with a good looking, athletic male on the basis that I would feel a little more self concious wondering why me.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"First of all, this really is not a fishing post for compliments, or a look at me post.

So, I’m a big girl and for the most part I manage to make it work and I dress nicely which I think helps me in that regard.

Obviously the main thing is I need to lose weight, but that isn’t going to happen overnight and I’m wondering if I’m alone in these thoughts and how is best to overcome them?

Thanks- and again not fishing for compliments, just advice on how to get out of my bloody head

Sassy"

you've met these people before and they clearly want to meet you again. I'm not being harsh but pay them the compliment of trusting that they genuinely like you for who you are.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I really.. really wouldn't worry if I was you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You definitely aren’t alone in this, most on here will take pictures from more flattering angles, myself included. None of us are perfect, and everyone has different flaws they are conscious about! The people you meet may feel they are too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny, too hairy, not muscley etc. We all have our demons! Just embrace life for its imperfections

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s quite interesting to hear this, the media brainwash is all into thinking that supermodels are the be all and end all if sexy. I don’t think most Guys think this, I for one don’t believe that, I’ve always gone for Ladies with curves. Some people don’t like the way you look, but that’s no different to preferring a blonde over brunette, short to tall etc.

OP you look super sexy to me, I’d have no hesitation if I were lucky enough to meet you.

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By *roticGoddessXXWoman
over a year ago

Richmond

"First of all, this really is not a fishing post for compliments, or a look at me post.

So, I’m a big girl and for the most part I manage to make it work and I dress nicely which I think helps me in that regard.

Obviously the main thing is I need to lose weight, but that isn’t going to happen overnight and I’m wondering if I’m alone in these thoughts and how is best to overcome them?

Thanks- and again not fishing for compliments, just advice on how to get out of my bloody head

Sassy"

You also forget that a larger size is very attractive to some.

Be who you are and enjoy.

You are NOT alone, but not everyone wants a "whatever sized" person.

"Fat" doesn't spoil the fun. So many people appreciate the person and the fun, as well as the confidence that you are who you are.

I hope you're able to put aside the negatives you see in yourself (that the others obviously don't see, as they want to meet again!).

IF you end up in a situation where you are uncomfortable for whatever reason, you are always within your rights to leave immediately. I'm assuming your upcoming meet will not put you in that awkward position, but if they do---THEIR issue, not yours.

Hope you are able to enjoy and be yourself.

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By *ifty69Man
over a year ago

north tyneside

Feeliig chunckey after beer and currrrrrryyyyy

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"you've met these people before and they clearly want to meet you again. I'm not being harsh but pay them the compliment of trusting that they genuinely like you for who you are. "

I do sometimes get the eek like you Op. But if someone finds you attractive enough to see you again - have faith in that. Practical things I do that help stop me worrying? Try and not eat a heavy meal/one that makes me bloat for a good few hours/days if possible before it. Positive affirmations work - yes, you might feel like a twat but vocalising how you should feel can help. Have a good wank/edging session - that can help quieten the noisy doubts in your head. Verbally spew at a close friend/your partner. Getting the worries out of your head can help them feel less like a pressure on your shoulder.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"First of all, this really is not a fishing post for compliments, or a look at me post.

So, I’m a big girl and for the most part I manage to make it work and I dress nicely which I think helps me in that regard.

Obviously the main thing is I need to lose weight, but that isn’t going to happen overnight and I’m wondering if I’m alone in these thoughts and how is best to overcome them?

Thanks- and again not fishing for compliments, just advice on how to get out of my bloody head

Sassy"

Totally understand that as a, larger lady myself Ive always had the little devil on my shoulder questioning why anyone has ever shown any interest in me

Even when people on and off fabs who I would consider so out of my league show interest in me

It's taken me a long time plus a, love of an absolute gem of a man to help me

Ive come to relise just because we might not find ourselves attractive sometimes doesn't mean they don't

We are all beautiful too someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"First of all, this really is not a fishing post for compliments, or a look at me post.

So, I’m a big girl and for the most part I manage to make it work and I dress nicely which I think helps me in that regard.

Obviously the main thing is I need to lose weight, but that isn’t going to happen overnight and I’m wondering if I’m alone in these thoughts and how is best to overcome them?

Thanks- and again not fishing for compliments, just advice on how to get out of my bloody head

Sassy"

To be totally honest, you have to be comfortable within yourself. Size doesnt equate to attactiveness. An ex of mine was a size 20 and was so hot at that point then i met her 6 years later after she had a bypass and although we still got on she was not as atractive. Ive dated women in a range of shapes and sizes, never worry about your size you look amazing.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I think this is a matter of being just more ok with your self. My partner has the same issuse sometimes. I struggle with her saying like this because one I completely adore her (she is hot), second the issue seems a non issuse to me. For if people have arranged a meet with you then clearly they desire you physically. The problem here from what I can see is not the size or shape or weight, it is your head. To simple lose weight I don't think solves the issuse. Life is too short to let this stuff hold you back. I hope you have a great time and see that you are just as desired and hot as anyone else there.

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By *aynLexiCouple
over a year ago

Bridgwater, Somerset

You have literally posted my exact feelings about my shape and trying to plan meets on this site.

It has held me back from alot of adventures plus made me incredibly negative about any planned meets.

So I completely get where your coming from.

Thank you for posting this as it's great to know I'm not alone in these feelings

Lexi

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By *ittlemisssassypants OP Couple
over a year ago

South East Wales

Thanks for the comments guys, they’ve made me feel much better.

As has a good sleep and a chat with myself to pull myself together

It’s just a bit shit when those doubts start to creep in and try and ruin my sexy fun, but I’m sure it’s nothing a bit of make up and lingerie can’t fix...oh and a large glass of wine

Sassy

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By *ovingittwoCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"You have literally posted my exact feelings about my shape and trying to plan meets on this site.

It has held me back from alot of adventures plus made me incredibly negative about any planned meets.

So I completely get where your coming from.

Thank you for posting this as it's great to know I'm not alone in these feelings

Lexi "

You have just said exactly what I was going to say!

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