Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to Swingers Chat |
Jump to newest |
Reply privately |
"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions. For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them? Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! " | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions. For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them? Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! " I agree with all that you have said, it’s truly saddening. I have no idea why they bother being in a relationship at all if they wish not to be. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Shoe on the other foot. My so called parents, I've been estranged from them sinse I was 18. I would not piss on them if they we're on fire. Maybe if one or both of them had gone off and had affairs and broken up. I may of had a better childhood. Instead, I had years of arguing, alochic abuse and sexual abuse. If they we're having affairs they may of been happier, and I would not of made home life so crap. My now ex husband had an affair on me, I'd of done anything to work it through, and kept my marridge. He wanted my to be a stay at home house wife. Cook clean ect, but for him to have an " open relationship" No way! I was his wife of 20 years. That was not happening. Fast forward 10 years, I'm a swinger. Very happy to meet marreied men. For me it's just sex. No commitments, no attachments. What they do in their private life is upto them. At that point in time, we're 2 consenting adults. " Surely the better scenario with your parents would have been to separate, not have an affair. You also can’t complain about your ex-husbands infidelity if you are now the one engaging in the destruction of another’s marriage. Relationships are about honesty and respect: an affair is a complete perversion of that. If one wishes to cheat - they should leave their partners and do as they will; without hurting the other. It’s incredibly simple.... | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved? " | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved? " Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved? Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate. " Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging. " Agree | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved? Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate. Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them? " Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved? Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate. Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them? Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out. " What if one half of the couple won’t agree??? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved? Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate. Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them? Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out. " In fact, what if everything you could ever suggest has already been tried over a period of 9+ years? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved? " Coming from a single parent family since single digits. Can assure you. Can mature to normality witout both. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved? Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate. Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them? Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out. In fact, what if everything you could ever suggest has already been tried over a period of 9+ years? " "That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved? Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate. Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them? Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out. In fact, what if everything you could ever suggest has already been tried over a period of 9+ years? " Then you’re no longer in a relationship and instead feeling trapped. The only solution is divorce. According to your profile, you also have a Dom and sleep with women. I’m sure once your husband and children learn of this; you shall learn that my advice is the best option. I can’t imagine anyone being ok in finding out such information. Which he will, things never stay secret for long. You+partner and children all have one life. You are merely making yourself happy atm. Separation gives both adults the chance to find what they’re looking for. It also stops the children having to put up with the inevitable outcome when you’re found out. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions. For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them? Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! " Giving someone else a lesson in morality isn't your job. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved? Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate. Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them? Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out. In fact, what if everything you could ever suggest has already been tried over a period of 9+ years? That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved? Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate. Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them? Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out. In fact, what if everything you could ever suggest has already been tried over a period of 9+ years? Then you’re no longer in a relationship and instead feeling trapped. The only solution is divorce. According to your profile, you also have a Dom and sleep with women. I’m sure once your husband and children learn of this; you shall learn that my advice is the best option. I can’t imagine anyone being ok in finding out such information. Which he will, things never stay secret for long. You+partner and children all have one life. You are merely making yourself happy atm. Separation gives both adults the chance to find what they’re looking for. It also stops the children having to put up with the inevitable outcome when you’re found out. " I’m not talking about me! Tell me, have you ever been married? Have you got children? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"So many judgemental people.... " SO many!!! | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions. For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them? Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! Giving someone else a lesson in morality isn't your job. " Neither is pointing that out to someone yours. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging. " Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"So many judgemental people.... " How can one possibly judge without knowing the exact circumstances of each relationship? There are so many different reasons for cheating. Some justified, other not. It’s ridiculous to say it’s never ever ok. Sometimes it’s about survival. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging. Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book. " Thats true but people try to justify their actions in any way. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"The reality is:- A cheater will happily lie to a partner wife no problem! So its fair to say they have no moral code. Based on that they will happily lie to me/you on here. So if you ask them 'Have you been tested are you sti free?' Can you trust them not to lie to you? NO Swinging is about trust for most so there you go you can't trust them. " | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"This must be the now compulsory daily cheaters thread. Can we just form two lines in the usual entrenched positions,count those for those against and leave all the usual angst behind? Where is the " So true. Well, i’m in the middle of those lines! Just wish I’d never commented on this thread!!! Whoops! I will now take my leave. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved? Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate. Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them? Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out. In fact, what if everything you could ever suggest has already been tried over a period of 9+ years? That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved? Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate. Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them? Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out. In fact, what if everything you could ever suggest has already been tried over a period of 9+ years? Then you’re no longer in a relationship and instead feeling trapped. The only solution is divorce. According to your profile, you also have a Dom and sleep with women. I’m sure once your husband and children learn of this; you shall learn that my advice is the best option. I can’t imagine anyone being ok in finding out such information. Which he will, things never stay secret for long. You+partner and children all have one life. You are merely making yourself happy atm. Separation gives both adults the chance to find what they’re looking for. It also stops the children having to put up with the inevitable outcome when you’re found out. I’m not talking about me! Tell me, have you ever been married? Have you got children? " You mentioned a time frame, scenario and seem to be taking it personally. It’s likely that most would assume you to then be in the said situation. I’m also not being judgemental, though if one is in a relationship they should stick to the rules of one or leave. There’s no reason to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes. That’s not a judgement, it’s basic human compassion. In relation to your question :- I do indeed have children. I am however unattached and have never been married. (Though I have been engaged rather often ) | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"i had two lousy husband's neither looked after me properly.both cheated on me all through the marriage. I was the one who ended it with both. I had a child to each. Both were under 7 when i broke up with them(daughter to first husband was 7 and son to second husband was 6 when i got rid) i managed better on my own. i agree if you are going to cheat leave and let partner find someone who wont cheat on them." Thats not nice at all especially to be on the receiving end but the reality is a cheater is a selfish person and that's a fact they think more about their own need than the feelings of others if they didn't and weren't selfish they wouldn't. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved? Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate. Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them? Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out. In fact, what if everything you could ever suggest has already been tried over a period of 9+ years? That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved? Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate. Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them? Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out. In fact, what if everything you could ever suggest has already been tried over a period of 9+ years? Then you’re no longer in a relationship and instead feeling trapped. The only solution is divorce. According to your profile, you also have a Dom and sleep with women. I’m sure once your husband and children learn of this; you shall learn that my advice is the best option. I can’t imagine anyone being ok in finding out such information. Which he will, things never stay secret for long. You+partner and children all have one life. You are merely making yourself happy atm. Separation gives both adults the chance to find what they’re looking for. It also stops the children having to put up with the inevitable outcome when you’re found out. I’m not talking about me! Tell me, have you ever been married? Have you got children? You mentioned a time frame, scenario and seem to be taking it personally. It’s likely that most would assume you to then be in the said situation. I’m also not being judgemental, though if one is in a relationship they should stick to the rules of one or leave. There’s no reason to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes. That’s not a judgement, it’s basic human compassion. In relation to your question :- I do indeed have children. I am however unattached and have never been married. (Though I have been engaged rather often )" Someone very close to me is going through this at the moment. And it’s heartbreaking to watch. You have children. You’ve never been married. Don’t judge a situation you’ve never been in. I don’t. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat. Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years. He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7. He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex. What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts. Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour. People in glass houses...... " Then maybe he should spend more time with here than trying to get his end away! Is sex that important to him in the bigger picture! | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat. Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years. He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7. He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex. What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts. Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour. People in glass houses...... Then maybe he should spend more time with here than trying to get his end away! Is sex that important to him in the bigger picture! " Seriously??? He’s her carer 24/7. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat. Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years. He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7. He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex. What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts. Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour. People in glass houses...... " I was about to post a similar thing about a woman we know whose husband needs 24/7 care. She has a gent visit when he's at respite a couple of times a week. Should she leave him to find someone who wouldn't cheat on him or tell him what's going on or should she continue to care for him as she has done for the last few years? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat. Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years. He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7. He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex. What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts. Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour. People in glass houses...... Then maybe he should spend more time with here than trying to get his end away! Is sex that important to him in the bigger picture! Seriously??? He’s her carer 24/7." Seriously! Well the fact is he can't be 24/7 if he is going out to meet people can he! People try to justify their self centred action is any way that's a fact. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat. Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years. He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7. He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex. What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts. Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour. People in glass houses...... Then maybe he should spend more time with here than trying to get his end away! Is sex that important to him in the bigger picture! Seriously??? He’s her carer 24/7. Seriously! Well the fact is he can't be 24/7 if he is going out to meet people can he! People try to justify their self centred action is any way that's a fact. " Once every two months he has a break. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat. Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years. He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7. He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex. What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts. Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour. People in glass houses...... " That’s hardly the most common affair scenario though, is it. You’re very much aware of what we’re speaking of, yet are looking for a scenario to justify it. When one chooses to step out and lead a separate life: they’re no longer in a relationship. You can’t just change the rules to suit yourself. If we look for grey areas to justify everything, then it’s not long before we fall as a society. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat. Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years. He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7. He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex. What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts. Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour. People in glass houses...... That’s hardly the most common affair scenario though, is it. You’re very much aware of what we’re speaking of, yet are looking for a scenario to justify it. When one chooses to step out and lead a separate life: they’re no longer in a relationship. You can’t just change the rules to suit yourself. If we look for grey areas to justify everything, then it’s not long before we fall as a society. " Ok, how about if one chooses to withdraw from sexual activity. Theyre changing the rules to suit themselves, should they leave their relationship? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat. Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years. He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7. He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex. What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts. Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour. People in glass houses...... That’s hardly the most common affair scenario though, is it. You’re very much aware of what we’re speaking of, yet are looking for a scenario to justify it. When one chooses to step out and lead a separate life: they’re no longer in a relationship. You can’t just change the rules to suit yourself. If we look for grey areas to justify everything, then it’s not long before we fall as a society. " I was thinking the same 99% and more of people cheating won't be in this situation and personally if I was I wouldn't be thinking about sex in any down time I had. But as others have said any scenario to justify licit sex seems to be the cheaters argument. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat. Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years. He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7. He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex. What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts. Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour. People in glass houses...... That’s hardly the most common affair scenario though, is it. You’re very much aware of what we’re speaking of, yet are looking for a scenario to justify it. When one chooses to step out and lead a separate life: they’re no longer in a relationship. You can’t just change the rules to suit yourself. If we look for grey areas to justify everything, then it’s not long before we fall as a society. Ok, how about if one chooses to withdraw from sexual activity. Theyre changing the rules to suit themselves, should they leave their relationship?" Surely this is where the art of communication should be used. Choosing to just sleep with someone else is a juvenile act, and shows a lack of maturity/empathy for someone that you claim to care for. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat. Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years. He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7. He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex. What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts. Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour. People in glass houses...... That’s hardly the most common affair scenario though, is it. You’re very much aware of what we’re speaking of, yet are looking for a scenario to justify it. When one chooses to step out and lead a separate life: they’re no longer in a relationship. You can’t just change the rules to suit yourself. If we look for grey areas to justify everything, then it’s not long before we fall as a society. Ok, how about if one chooses to withdraw from sexual activity. Theyre changing the rules to suit themselves, should they leave their relationship? Surely this is where the art of communication should be used. Choosing to just sleep with someone else is a juvenile act, and shows a lack of maturity/empathy for someone that you claim to care for. " Ah communication. That art is not often practiced properly in relationships | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Not everything is black and white. We all have our reasons for being here. No one has the right to judge another person, you're not in their shoes, living their life. If you were you may see things differently " That's not true everyone judges people in life as it is from the way they dress to the clothes they wear saying people dont have the right to do so is hypocritical as everyone does it. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Not everything is black and white. We all have our reasons for being here. No one has the right to judge another person, you're not in their shoes, living their life. If you were you may see things differently That's not true everyone judges people in life as it is from the way they dress to the clothes they wear saying people dont have the right to do so is hypocritical as everyone does it." Doesn't mean they have the RIGHT to judge them and certainly not the right to publicly vilify them | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Not everything is black and white. We all have our reasons for being here. No one has the right to judge another person, you're not in their shoes, living their life. If you were you may see things differently That's not true everyone judges people in life as it is from the way they dress to the clothes they wear saying people dont have the right to do so is hypocritical as everyone does it. Doesn't mean they have the RIGHT to judge them and certainly not the right to publicly vilify them" There you go attaching to things together I didn't mention vilification so pull your neck in! People judge others every single day on multiple issues every single person cheating will make judgements on others every month if not every day saying don't judge me is hypocritical to say the least. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging. " 100% agree! So frustrating and a cop out that so many excuse cheating with swinging! If you are 1 part of a couple or a single and are seeking sexual exploits WITHOUT your/their partners knowledge/consent you are a CHEAT. And the old chesnut of lame reasons as to why you cheat.. lack of sex, can't leave because of kids, bored..blah blah blah. They are just the cheats way of denial over their choices. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Not everything is black and white. We all have our reasons for being here. No one has the right to judge another person, you're not in their shoes, living their life. If you were you may see things differently That's not true everyone judges people in life as it is from the way they dress to the clothes they wear saying people dont have the right to do so is hypocritical as everyone does it. Doesn't mean they have the RIGHT to judge them and certainly not the right to publicly vilify them" Everyone has the right to an opinion. The only ones that deem it as a judgement, are those that engage in it. I’m sure that you judge drug addicts/alcoholics/homeless/prostitutes/rapists/murderers etc. I’m sure they all too have a ‘reason’. I’m sure defending them doesn’t relate to your own circumstances though; so that judgement is entirely fine with yourselves. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Such a dull thread. If you don't want to meet cheaters, it's easy enough to screen them out." Its not though as they lie and rarely tell you so that a dull and factually inaccurate comment. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Not everything is black and white. We all have our reasons for being here. No one has the right to judge another person, you're not in their shoes, living their life. If you were you may see things differently That's not true everyone judges people in life as it is from the way they dress to the clothes they wear saying people dont have the right to do so is hypocritical as everyone does it. Doesn't mean they have the RIGHT to judge them and certainly not the right to publicly vilify them Everyone has the right to an opinion. The only ones that deem it as a judgement, are those that engage in it. I’m sure that you judge drug addicts/alcoholics/homeless/prostitutes/rapists/murderers etc. I’m sure they all too have a ‘reason’. I’m sure defending them doesn’t relate to your own circumstances though; so that judgement is entirely fine with yourselves. " You're right I do judge... but then i remind myself i haven't lived their lives... i dont have to deal with the range of emotions they go through each day... and i let then lead their lives how they wish to without any further input from me. If i want to know why they did it, I ask the question. If i want to know how it makes then feel, I ask the question. I do not make decisions about their lives based on my experiences. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions. For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them? Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! " | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Such a dull thread. If you don't want to meet cheaters, it's easy enough to screen them out." Most of the time yes, however I have had a couple of social meets where they have confessed they aren't single. Walked away feeling very pissed off I'd been lied to. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Such a dull thread. If you don't want to meet cheaters, it's easy enough to screen them out. Most of the time yes, however I have had a couple of social meets where they have confessed they aren't single. Walked away feeling very pissed off I'd been lied to. " This is exactly why I have it on my profile.... people can then make an informed choice xx | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I’ve heard all the excuses, and that’s just what they are. Cheating is deceit no matter how you paint it, relationships in whatever form are based on trust and respect so it’s impossible to cheat and still claim the moral high ground based on “family” and “children”. You’re just trying to justify deceit. People make mistakes, we are apes after all with instincts, but knowingly arranging an affair in whatever form that takes without informing your partner, is deceitful as it’s premeditated. Nancy" | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat. Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years. He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7. He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex. What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts. Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour. People in glass houses...... Then maybe he should spend more time with here than trying to get his end away! Is sex that important to him in the bigger picture! " How can you possibly come on a swingers site and tell someone they shouldn't be interested in sex? Sex is a basic human need, and lack of it has been shown to lead to psychological problems. How would you like it if someone told YOU that you shouldn't be interested in sex? Whether you are single or not, sex is still important. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Not everything is black and white. We all have our reasons for being here. No one has the right to judge another person, you're not in their shoes, living their life. If you were you may see things differently That's not true everyone judges people in life as it is from the way they dress to the clothes they wear saying people dont have the right to do so is hypocritical as everyone does it. Doesn't mean they have the RIGHT to judge them and certainly not the right to publicly vilify them Everyone has the right to an opinion. The only ones that deem it as a judgement, are those that engage in it. I’m sure that you judge drug addicts/alcoholics/homeless/prostitutes/rapists/murderers etc. I’m sure they all too have a ‘reason’. I’m sure defending them doesn’t relate to your own circumstances though; so that judgement is entirely fine with yourselves. You're right I do judge... but then i remind myself i haven't lived their lives... i dont have to deal with the range of emotions they go through each day... and i let then lead their lives how they wish to without any further input from me. If i want to know why they did it, I ask the question. If i want to know how it makes then feel, I ask the question. I do not make decisions about their lives based on my experiences." We are discussing the act in itself. So we are not being “judgemental”. Now, if we were to single an individual out, then you may be able to sit upon your white high horse; and be judgemental back at us for being judgemental. Though.....that would also make you a hypocrite. There’s nothing wrong with discussion, it’s what this forum is for. We’re merely voicing personal opinion. You’re allowed to agree or disagree. You can’t tell someone that they’re wrong, for deeming it wrong though. People get hurt, life should be about ‘do no harm’. An affair does harm. Simples. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Not everything is black and white. We all have our reasons for being here. No one has the right to judge another person, you're not in their shoes, living their life. If you were you may see things differently That's not true everyone judges people in life as it is from the way they dress to the clothes they wear saying people dont have the right to do so is hypocritical as everyone does it." Exactly. I get judged all the time on my size without people knowing my personal situation so why is it suddenly so bad that I do it back to people who are genuinely doing something wrong? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat. Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years. He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7. He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex. What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts. Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour. People in glass houses...... Then maybe he should spend more time with here than trying to get his end away! Is sex that important to him in the bigger picture! " Everybody has needs. God bless the man for doing what he’s doing. Have some compassion! | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I get the OPs original point. However, there are lots of couples who swing or who are in open relationships because one partner wants it more than the other and it's the only way for the other to hold onto that person. What's worse? Not knowing that a partner is having meaningless sex or sticking around with a partner who is openly being pleasured by other people just because they don't want their relationship to break down? The swinging lifestyle can also be more damaging than healthy to some relationships. As others have said it isn't always black and white. " Being in an open relationship and swinging is not cheating... The act of cheating is going behind your partners back without them being aware. Swinging and open relationships are well: open, as in both are aware and have consent. It's odd that most assume the cheaters to be male. In my experience and from the posts on this thread, it seems that women are cheating just as much as men. p.s. If one half of the relationship has agreed to the other to sleep with others, whilst they remain monogamous is their choice. It's certainly not my idea of a healthy relationship, though - different strokes for different folks etc. At least there's communication, opposed to destroying the others trust. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
Reply privately |
"“All I know is no one deserves to be cheated on and I bet for all the cheaters they know that a good chance the marriage will end, why are you all so desperate to stay married ? A terminally ill person equally has the right for true love and not getting cheated on too, in fact I’m horrified someone would do that to a loved one”. My friends wife is terminally ill. She has dementia so he couldn’t explain to her that he has sexual needs as she wouldn’t understand. She is confused and needs constant care. He has been faithful and by her side for over 30 years and it’s only in the last 18 months that he has met someone for no strings sex. He loves her, and will care for her until her last breath, even though she isn’t even aware that he is her husband. He is desperately lonely and lives a very difficult life, but he would never walk away for a free pass to fuck. Yes I admit this is an exceptional case and some people are unable to practice monogamy but it’s unkind to judge anyone’s choices, especially when you do not know the facts. I find some of the comments on here deplorable and yes I have judged the OP and several others who have made rather pointed comments, however, I am too much of a gentleman to make my judgements public! " | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions. For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them? Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! Giving someone else a lesson in morality isn't your job. " | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging. Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book. " That's a very Victorian way of looking at things. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"“All I know is no one deserves to be cheated on and I bet for all the cheaters they know that a good chance the marriage will end, why are you all so desperate to stay married ? A terminally ill person equally has the right for true love and not getting cheated on too, in fact I’m horrified someone would do that to a loved one”. My friends wife is terminally ill. She has dementia so he couldn’t explain to her that he has sexual needs as she wouldn’t understand. She is confused and needs constant care. He has been faithful and by her side for over 30 years and it’s only in the last 18 months that he has met someone for no strings sex. He loves her, and will care for her until her last breath, even though she isn’t even aware that he is her husband. He is desperately lonely and lives a very difficult life, but he would never walk away for a free pass to fuck. Yes I admit this is an exceptional case and some people are unable to practice monogamy but it’s unkind to judge anyone’s choices, especially when you do not know the facts. I find some of the comments on here deplorable and yes I have judged the OP and several others who have made rather pointed comments, however, I am too much of a gentleman to make my judgements public! " I still find that appalling, No true gentleman would find that acceptable If you was suffering with an serious illness the very last thing you actually need is someone betraying you, in any manor you need someone that will put you as an absolute priority That’s my thoughts with being a lady and Not giving my real judgement either! | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"“All I know is no one deserves to be cheated on and I bet for all the cheaters they know that a good chance the marriage will end, why are you all so desperate to stay married ? A terminally ill person equally has the right for true love and not getting cheated on too, in fact I’m horrified someone would do that to a loved one”. My friends wife is terminally ill. She has dementia so he couldn’t explain to her that he has sexual needs as she wouldn’t understand. She is confused and needs constant care. He has been faithful and by her side for over 30 years and it’s only in the last 18 months that he has met someone for no strings sex. He loves her, and will care for her until her last breath, even though she isn’t even aware that he is her husband. He is desperately lonely and lives a very difficult life, but he would never walk away for a free pass to fuck. Yes I admit this is an exceptional case and some people are unable to practice monogamy but it’s unkind to judge anyone’s choices, especially when you do not know the facts. I find some of the comments on here deplorable and yes I have judged the OP and several others who have made rather pointed comments, however, I am too much of a gentleman to make my judgements public! " I wonder what the "right thing" to do is in a situation like this. Chuck her in a care home perhaps? I think most of us can honestly say we wouldn't want to be what we may consider a burden on our loved ones. I think most of us can hold our hands up and say if anything happened to us, we would want our loved ones to continue living life and be as happy as they could be, and I'm sure most have voiced this to our loved ones too. Yes this is an extreme case, but it happens. This chap has shown great humility to his partner and not given up when an awful lot wouldn't be able to cope. He is probably doing all she ever asked for and more. P | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Shoe on the other foot. My so called parents, I've been estranged from them sinse I was 18. I would not piss on them if they we're on fire. Maybe if one or both of them had gone off and had affairs and broken up. I may of had a better childhood. Instead, I had years of arguing, alochic abuse and sexual abuse. If they we're having affairs they may of been happier, and I would not of made home life so crap. My now ex husband had an affair on me, I'd of done anything to work it through, and kept my marridge. He wanted my to be a stay at home house wife. Cook clean ect, but for him to have an " open relationship" No way! I was his wife of 20 years. That was not happening. Fast forward 10 years, I'm a swinger. Very happy to meet marreied men. For me it's just sex. No commitments, no attachments. What they do in their private life is upto them. At that point in time, we're 2 consenting adults. Surely the better scenario with your parents would have been to separate, not have an affair. You also can’t complain about your ex-husbands infidelity if you are now the one engaging in the destruction of another’s marriage. Relationships are about honesty and respect: an affair is a complete perversion of that. If one wishes to cheat - they should leave their partners and do as they will; without hurting the other. It’s incredibly simple.... " I'm not the one engaging in the distruction of a marridge. I'm not an adultress, or having affairs. I'm a swinger have sex with men and woman. If a marreid man chooses to be on a sex sight with out their partners knowledge how am I in the wrong. I'm a swinger. Here just fir the sex. Simple. If yiu dont like it feel free to block us. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Please specify the difference......?" Between what? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions. For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them? Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! " Yeee ok, just don't forget that most of the people on here are married, especially man | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions. For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them? Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! Yeee ok, just don't forget that most of the people on here are married, especially man " Then I would like most of the men to leave me be if that’s the case. It’s not too much to ask, is it? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Shoe on the other foot. My so called parents, I've been estranged from them sinse I was 18. I would not piss on them if they we're on fire. Maybe if one or both of them had gone off and had affairs and broken up. I may of had a better childhood. Instead, I had years of arguing, alochic abuse and sexual abuse. If they we're having affairs they may of been happier, and I would not of made home life so crap. My now ex husband had an affair on me, I'd of done anything to work it through, and kept my marridge. He wanted my to be a stay at home house wife. Cook clean ect, but for him to have an " open relationship" No way! I was his wife of 20 years. That was not happening. Fast forward 10 years, I'm a swinger. Very happy to meet marreied men. For me it's just sex. No commitments, no attachments. What they do in their private life is upto them. At that point in time, we're 2 consenting adults. " I have a wife who supposedly does the cooking and cleaning etc, sadly after my 10-12 hour working day I come home and have to cook the tea for 5 then wash up after , the house gets a quick dust or vacuum every now and then , the grass gets a cut when I do it’s the toilet won’t get cleaned until I make the effort , if we need anything from the shop cos we’ve run out I get a txt to go get it , there are 2 shops within 5 mins walk , if there wasn’t kids involved things may be different for me , sex is average to be fair , but nothing right home about so maybe a bit extra won’t go a miss ? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"“All I know is no one deserves to be cheated on and I bet for all the cheaters they know that a good chance the marriage will end, why are you all so desperate to stay married ? A terminally ill person equally has the right for true love and not getting cheated on too, in fact I’m horrified someone would do that to a loved one”. My friends wife is terminally ill. She has dementia so he couldn’t explain to her that he has sexual needs as she wouldn’t understand. She is confused and needs constant care. He has been faithful and by her side for over 30 years and it’s only in the last 18 months that he has met someone for no strings sex. He loves her, and will care for her until her last breath, even though she isn’t even aware that he is her husband. He is desperately lonely and lives a very difficult life, but he would never walk away for a free pass to fuck. Yes I admit this is an exceptional case and some people are unable to practice monogamy but it’s unkind to judge anyone’s choices, especially when you do not know the facts. I find some of the comments on here deplorable and yes I have judged the OP and several others who have made rather pointed comments, however, I am too much of a gentleman to make my judgements public! " Yet, you just made your judgements public...... | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Preaching morality on a site full of people who lie ... People preaching morals just makes me laugh.. " Not all of us lie though. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging. Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book. That's a very Victorian way of looking at things." No it's a truthful way of looking at things. One offs or regular, if done without consent or knowledge from partner it's cheating. Plain and simple. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Shoe on the other foot. My so called parents, I've been estranged from them sinse I was 18. I would not piss on them if they we're on fire. Maybe if one or both of them had gone off and had affairs and broken up. I may of had a better childhood. Instead, I had years of arguing, alochic abuse and sexual abuse. If they we're having affairs they may of been happier, and I would not of made home life so crap. My now ex husband had an affair on me, I'd of done anything to work it through, and kept my marridge. He wanted my to be a stay at home house wife. Cook clean ect, but for him to have an " open relationship" No way! I was his wife of 20 years. That was not happening. Fast forward 10 years, I'm a swinger. Very happy to meet marreied men. For me it's just sex. No commitments, no attachments. What they do in their private life is upto them. At that point in time, we're 2 consenting adults. I have a wife who supposedly does the cooking and cleaning etc, sadly after my 10-12 hour working day I come home and have to cook the tea for 5 then wash up after , the house gets a quick dust or vacuum every now and then , the grass gets a cut when I do it’s the toilet won’t get cleaned until I make the effort , if we need anything from the shop cos we’ve run out I get a txt to go get it , there are 2 shops within 5 mins walk , if there wasn’t kids involved things may be different for me , sex is average to be fair , but nothing right home about so maybe a bit extra won’t go a miss ? " And you stay because?? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging. Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book. " How are they the same? One is deceitful and the other is with full consent. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"i had two lousy husband's neither looked after me properly.both cheated on me all through the marriage. I was the one who ended it with both. I had a child to each. Both were under 7 when i broke up with them(daughter to first husband was 7 and son to second husband was 6 when i got rid) i managed better on my own. i agree if you are going to cheat leave and let partner find someone who wont cheat on them." Most are scared, whilst they cheat they feel great, but the real world sucks and often after a split they will be finding themselves homeless and paying for kids and financially struggling is a mugs game They are also not wanting the kids to learn about what they are up to either so they have a think and summerise It is better to keep head down and play around keep mrs happy enough and everything is rosy. Its basically very calculating | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging. Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book. How are they the same? One is deceitful and the other is with full consent. " I think either can be if it’s done via deceit but having an affair is basically more emotional I would have thought | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"i had two lousy husband's neither looked after me properly.both cheated on me all through the marriage. I was the one who ended it with both. I had a child to each. Both were under 7 when i broke up with them(daughter to first husband was 7 and son to second husband was 6 when i got rid) i managed better on my own. i agree if you are going to cheat leave and let partner find someone who wont cheat on them. Most are scared, whilst they cheat they feel great, but the real world sucks and often after a split they will be finding themselves homeless and paying for kids and financially struggling is a mugs game They are also not wanting the kids to learn about what they are up to either so they have a think and summerise It is better to keep head down and play around keep mrs happy enough and everything is rosy. Its basically very calculating " Definitely | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging. Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book. How are they the same? One is deceitful and the other is with full consent. I think either can be if it’s done via deceit but having an affair is basically more emotional I would have thought " Swinging is being open about what you do. It’s not cheating unless a swinger goes behind their partners back. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions. For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them? Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! " Gotcha | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"nee nor nee nor.... call the morality cops... this is a swinging site, meet for sex with likeminded people... if you want emotional attachment join e harmony or find my sould mate . com or whatever the meet tonight has couples asking for 5 men gang bangs,,, fuck me blidfolded and couples who want tied up and arse fucked. if you are seeking a sould mate with similar sexual interests and desires all the best,,, if you are seeking a discreet quick fuck, crack on... emotional attachment, crack on... my mates wife has cancer,,, he has his sexual needs and meets discreetly for sex... doesnt want to leave his wife, doesnt want emotional attachment... crack on... i am divorced and dont want a relationship... who are any of you to judge anyone else... if someone chooses to cheat, thats up to them... they have their reasons... blessed is the word of the loed for he who repents his sins will be welcolend into the kindome of heaven,,,, or stoned to death of in other religion.... its a fuck site... meet people with similar tastes... fuck and does r long term friendship and swapping... if you knoe what you want... go fill your boots,,, but for christs sake dont judge,,, or blame your emotional fragile state on someone who cheated on you.... " I think most of us don’t give a shit if someone is cheating, just be honest about it from the start and don’t bring innocent people into it. I’m fed up of being lied to if I’m honest. Not happened for a while but it was annoying to say the least. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I dont think I could have a real relationship with someone that worked away after seeing what happens on here it's a real eye opener that's for sure. " I work away and I never cheated on my ex husband. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"nee nor nee nor.... call the morality cops... this is a swinging site, meet for sex with likeminded people... if you want emotional attachment join e harmony or find my sould mate . com or whatever the meet tonight has couples asking for 5 men gang bangs,,, fuck me blidfolded and couples who want tied up and arse fucked. if you are seeking a sould mate with similar sexual interests and desires all the best,,, if you are seeking a discreet quick fuck, crack on... emotional attachment, crack on... my mates wife has cancer,,, he has his sexual needs and meets discreetly for sex... doesnt want to leave his wife, doesnt want emotional attachment... crack on... i am divorced and dont want a relationship... who are any of you to judge anyone else... if someone chooses to cheat, thats up to them... they have their reasons... blessed is the word of the loed for he who repents his sins will be welcolend into the kindome of heaven,,,, or stoned to death of in other religion.... its a fuck site... meet people with similar tastes... fuck and does r long term friendship and swapping... if you knoe what you want... go fill your boots,,, but for christs sake dont judge,,, or blame your emotional fragile state on someone who cheated on you.... " Nobody's talking about emotional attachment. Like I said, being on a sex site does not immediately strip one of all morals. This is not some sort of prehistoric orgy where everyone has gone insane with lust and thrown all reason to the wind. If you want to have random, nsa sex that's fine but lying to your partner about it, who you have promised to be true to by entering into a relationship with them, has always been and will always remain W. R. O. N. G. To your mate with the sick wife - he shouldn't have married her if he wasn't prepared for this eventuality. While he couldn't have known that this was going to happen, the words say: "forsaking all other, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.". Or does making vows not mean jack shit anymore? Not that I'm going to take seriously the opinion of an actual adult attempting to debate using the words "nee nor nee nor" anyway | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging. Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book. That's a very Victorian way of looking at things. No it's a truthful way of looking at things. One offs or regular, if done without consent or knowledge from partner it's cheating. Plain and simple. " So swinging and cheating is the same thing in your book? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging. Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book. How are they the same? One is deceitful and the other is with full consent. " I was referring to those "swinging" without their partners knowledge or consent | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging. Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book. That's a very Victorian way of looking at things. No it's a truthful way of looking at things. One offs or regular, if done without consent or knowledge from partner it's cheating. Plain and simple. So swinging and cheating is the same thing in your book?" it's the same if your partner hasn't given consent or doesn't know you are doing it. Please read my post. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"nee nor nee nor.... call the morality cops... this is a swinging site, meet for sex with likeminded people... if you want emotional attachment join e harmony or find my sould mate . com or whatever the meet tonight has couples asking for 5 men gang bangs,,, fuck me blidfolded and couples who want tied up and arse fucked. if you are seeking a sould mate with similar sexual interests and desires all the best,,, if you are seeking a discreet quick fuck, crack on... emotional attachment, crack on... my mates wife has cancer,,, he has his sexual needs and meets discreetly for sex... doesnt want to leave his wife, doesnt want emotional attachment... crack on... i am divorced and dont want a relationship... who are any of you to judge anyone else... if someone chooses to cheat, thats up to them... they have their reasons... blessed is the word of the loed for he who repents his sins will be welcolend into the kindome of heaven,,,, or stoned to death of in other religion.... its a fuck site... meet people with similar tastes... fuck and does r long term friendship and swapping... if you knoe what you want... go fill your boots,,, but for christs sake dont judge,,, or blame your emotional fragile state on someone who cheated on you.... Nobody's talking about emotional attachment. Like I said, being on a sex site does not immediately strip one of all morals. This is not some sort of prehistoric orgy where everyone has gone insane with lust and thrown all reason to the wind. If you want to have random, nsa sex that's fine but lying to your partner about it, who you have promised to be true to by entering into a relationship with them, has always been and will always remain W. R. O. N. G. To your mate with the sick wife - he shouldn't have married her if he wasn't prepared for this eventuality. While he couldn't have known that this was going to happen, the words say: "forsaking all other, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.". Or does making vows not mean jack shit anymore? Not that I'm going to take seriously the opinion of an actual adult attempting to debate using the words "nee nor nee nor" anyway " | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Fucking hell! I’m now getting personal abusive messages in my inbox for my opinion on this thread. Enough is enough. Grow up & play nicely! " Me too!!! Has completely put me off this site and i’m seriously considering leaving it as a result. Unfortunately there are some very unpleasant and narrow minded people around. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"nee nor nee nor.... call the morality cops... this is a swinging site, meet for sex with likeminded people... if you want emotional attachment join e harmony or find my sould mate . com or whatever the meet tonight has couples asking for 5 men gang bangs,,, fuck me blidfolded and couples who want tied up and arse fucked. if you are seeking a sould mate with similar sexual interests and desires all the best,,, if you are seeking a discreet quick fuck, crack on... emotional attachment, crack on... my mates wife has cancer,,, he has his sexual needs and meets discreetly for sex... doesnt want to leave his wife, doesnt want emotional attachment... crack on... i am divorced and dont want a relationship... who are any of you to judge anyone else... if someone chooses to cheat, thats up to them... they have their reasons... blessed is the word of the loed for he who repents his sins will be welcolend into the kindome of heaven,,,, or stoned to death of in other religion.... its a fuck site... meet people with similar tastes... fuck and does r long term friendship and swapping... if you knoe what you want... go fill your boots,,, but for christs sake dont judge,,, or blame your emotional fragile state on someone who cheated on you.... Nobody's talking about emotional attachment. Like I said, being on a sex site does not immediately strip one of all morals. This is not some sort of prehistoric orgy where everyone has gone insane with lust and thrown all reason to the wind. If you want to have random, nsa sex that's fine but lying to your partner about it, who you have promised to be true to by entering into a relationship with them, has always been and will always remain W. R. O. N. G. To your mate with the sick wife - he shouldn't have married her if he wasn't prepared for this eventuality. While he couldn't have known that this was going to happen, the words say: "forsaking all other, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.". Or does making vows not mean jack shit anymore? Not that I'm going to take seriously the opinion of an actual adult attempting to debate using the words "nee nor nee nor" anyway " OK, so you’re quoting “forsaking all others” in wedding vows? Surely that means swinging is horribly wrong in YOUR opinion too? And divorce? Promising to be together forever - do you therefore think then you must stay married forever whatever the circumstances? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"nee nor nee nor.... call the morality cops... this is a swinging site, meet for sex with likeminded people... if you want emotional attachment join e harmony or find my sould mate . com or whatever the meet tonight has couples asking for 5 men gang bangs,,, fuck me blidfolded and couples who want tied up and arse fucked. if you are seeking a sould mate with similar sexual interests and desires all the best,,, if you are seeking a discreet quick fuck, crack on... emotional attachment, crack on... my mates wife has cancer,,, he has his sexual needs and meets discreetly for sex... doesnt want to leave his wife, doesnt want emotional attachment... crack on... i am divorced and dont want a relationship... who are any of you to judge anyone else... if someone chooses to cheat, thats up to them... they have their reasons... blessed is the word of the loed for he who repents his sins will be welcolend into the kindome of heaven,,,, or stoned to death of in other religion.... its a fuck site... meet people with similar tastes... fuck and does r long term friendship and swapping... if you knoe what you want... go fill your boots,,, but for christs sake dont judge,,, or blame your emotional fragile state on someone who cheated on you.... Nobody's talking about emotional attachment. Like I said, being on a sex site does not immediately strip one of all morals. This is not some sort of prehistoric orgy where everyone has gone insane with lust and thrown all reason to the wind. If you want to have random, nsa sex that's fine but lying to your partner about it, who you have promised to be true to by entering into a relationship with them, has always been and will always remain W. R. O. N. G. To your mate with the sick wife - he shouldn't have married her if he wasn't prepared for this eventuality. While he couldn't have known that this was going to happen, the words say: "forsaking all other, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.". Or does making vows not mean jack shit anymore? Not that I'm going to take seriously the opinion of an actual adult attempting to debate using the words "nee nor nee nor" anyway OK, so you’re quoting “forsaking all others” in wedding vows? Surely that means swinging is horribly wrong in YOUR opinion too? And divorce? Promising to be together forever - do you therefore think then you must stay married forever whatever the circumstances?" No of course not, now you're twisting my words. Reread my original post and then read it again. If I thought swinging was wrong I wouldn't be on a website called FabSWINGERS now would I? I think swinging is perfectly acceptable as long as both people in the relationship are comfortable and happy with the arrangement. My point with the vows was that if you've said them then you should be prepared to carry them through. Obviously people are allowed to get a divorce it things aren't working out, but WHILE you're married you should respect the sanctity of it and respect your spouse enough to fulfil your promises to them. If you BOTH agree that one or both of you will sleep with other people then that's obviously fair enough. But all these people bringing up personal stories of their friends caring for their spouses - that's LITERALLY what they promised to do. If you're not prepared to stick by your spouse during the worst of times should you even have married them at all? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Fucking hell! I’m now getting personal abusive messages in my inbox for my opinion on this thread. Enough is enough. Grow up & play nicely! I have had insulting messages from bellabx in my inbox, a very unattractive message and individual who has blocked me so I can't reply, oh the joy of being a keyboard warrior Typing on a phone led to a couple of typos , calling personal names and offensive comments shows why an emotionally fragile individual with likely personal mental health issues shouldn't be using sites for free thinking adults" I’ve just had a message from a couple telling me I’m “a fat and desperate slapper”. Really? Because I have a different opinion? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Fucking hell! I’m now getting personal abusive messages in my inbox for my opinion on this thread. Enough is enough. Grow up & play nicely! Me too!!! Has completely put me off this site and i’m seriously considering leaving it as a result. Unfortunately there are some very unpleasant and narrow minded people around. " Sending abusive messages is unacceptable but not everybody who disagrees with you is narrow minded. You can be open minded and still have a good moral code. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"nee nor nee nor.... call the morality cops... this is a swinging site, meet for sex with likeminded people... if you want emotional attachment join e harmony or find my sould mate . com or whatever the meet tonight has couples asking for 5 men gang bangs,,, fuck me blidfolded and couples who want tied up and arse fucked. if you are seeking a sould mate with similar sexual interests and desires all the best,,, if you are seeking a discreet quick fuck, crack on... emotional attachment, crack on... my mates wife has cancer,,, he has his sexual needs and meets discreetly for sex... doesnt want to leave his wife, doesnt want emotional attachment... crack on... i am divorced and dont want a relationship... who are any of you to judge anyone else... if someone chooses to cheat, thats up to them... they have their reasons... blessed is the word of the loed for he who repents his sins will be welcolend into the kindome of heaven,,,, or stoned to death of in other religion.... its a fuck site... meet people with similar tastes... fuck and does r long term friendship and swapping... if you knoe what you want... go fill your boots,,, but for christs sake dont judge,,, or blame your emotional fragile state on someone who cheated on you.... Nobody's talking about emotional attachment. Like I said, being on a sex site does not immediately strip one of all morals. This is not some sort of prehistoric orgy where everyone has gone insane with lust and thrown all reason to the wind. If you want to have random, nsa sex that's fine but lying to your partner about it, who you have promised to be true to by entering into a relationship with them, has always been and will always remain W. R. O. N. G. To your mate with the sick wife - he shouldn't have married her if he wasn't prepared for this eventuality. While he couldn't have known that this was going to happen, the words say: "forsaking all other, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.". Or does making vows not mean jack shit anymore? Not that I'm going to take seriously the opinion of an actual adult attempting to debate using the words "nee nor nee nor" anyway OK, so you’re quoting “forsaking all others” in wedding vows? Surely that means swinging is horribly wrong in YOUR opinion too? And divorce? Promising to be together forever - do you therefore think then you must stay married forever whatever the circumstances? No of course not, now you're twisting my words. Reread my original post and then read it again. If I thought swinging was wrong I wouldn't be on a website called FabSWINGERS now would I? I think swinging is perfectly acceptable as long as both people in the relationship are comfortable and happy with the arrangement. My point with the vows was that if you've said them then you should be prepared to carry them through. Obviously people are allowed to get a divorce it things aren't working out, but WHILE you're married you should respect the sanctity of it and respect your spouse enough to fulfil your promises to them. If you BOTH agree that one or both of you will sleep with other people then that's obviously fair enough. But all these people bringing up personal stories of their friends caring for their spouses - that's LITERALLY what they promised to do. If you're not prepared to stick by your spouse during the worst of times should you even have married them at all? " This doesn’t answer the “forsaking all others” vow. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"nee nor nee nor.... call the morality cops... this is a swinging site, meet for sex with likeminded people... if you want emotional attachment join e harmony or find my sould mate . com or whatever the meet tonight has couples asking for 5 men gang bangs,,, fuck me blidfolded and couples who want tied up and arse fucked. if you are seeking a sould mate with similar sexual interests and desires all the best,,, if you are seeking a discreet quick fuck, crack on... emotional attachment, crack on... my mates wife has cancer,,, he has his sexual needs and meets discreetly for sex... doesnt want to leave his wife, doesnt want emotional attachment... crack on... i am divorced and dont want a relationship... who are any of you to judge anyone else... if someone chooses to cheat, thats up to them... they have their reasons... blessed is the word of the loed for he who repents his sins will be welcolend into the kindome of heaven,,,, or stoned to death of in other religion.... its a fuck site... meet people with similar tastes... fuck and does r long term friendship and swapping... if you knoe what you want... go fill your boots,,, but for christs sake dont judge,,, or blame your emotional fragile state on someone who cheated on you.... Nobody's talking about emotional attachment. Like I said, being on a sex site does not immediately strip one of all morals. This is not some sort of prehistoric orgy where everyone has gone insane with lust and thrown all reason to the wind. If you want to have random, nsa sex that's fine but lying to your partner about it, who you have promised to be true to by entering into a relationship with them, has always been and will always remain W. R. O. N. G. To your mate with the sick wife - he shouldn't have married her if he wasn't prepared for this eventuality. While he couldn't have known that this was going to happen, the words say: "forsaking all other, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.". Or does making vows not mean jack shit anymore? Not that I'm going to take seriously the opinion of an actual adult attempting to debate using the words "nee nor nee nor" anyway OK, so you’re quoting “forsaking all others” in wedding vows? Surely that means swinging is horribly wrong in YOUR opinion too? And divorce? Promising to be together forever - do you therefore think then you must stay married forever whatever the circumstances? No of course not, now you're twisting my words. Reread my original post and then read it again. If I thought swinging was wrong I wouldn't be on a website called FabSWINGERS now would I? I think swinging is perfectly acceptable as long as both people in the relationship are comfortable and happy with the arrangement. My point with the vows was that if you've said them then you should be prepared to carry them through. Obviously people are allowed to get a divorce it things aren't working out, but WHILE you're married you should respect the sanctity of it and respect your spouse enough to fulfil your promises to them. If you BOTH agree that one or both of you will sleep with other people then that's obviously fair enough. But all these people bringing up personal stories of their friends caring for their spouses - that's LITERALLY what they promised to do. If you're not prepared to stick by your spouse during the worst of times should you even have married them at all? This doesn’t answer the “forsaking all others” vow. " Yes it does, you're just clutching at straws now. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"nee nor nee nor.... call the morality cops... this is a swinging site, meet for sex with likeminded people... if you want emotional attachment join e harmony or find my sould mate . com or whatever the meet tonight has couples asking for 5 men gang bangs,,, fuck me blidfolded and couples who want tied up and arse fucked. if you are seeking a sould mate with similar sexual interests and desires all the best,,, if you are seeking a discreet quick fuck, crack on... emotional attachment, crack on... my mates wife has cancer,,, he has his sexual needs and meets discreetly for sex... doesnt want to leave his wife, doesnt want emotional attachment... crack on... i am divorced and dont want a relationship... who are any of you to judge anyone else... if someone chooses to cheat, thats up to them... they have their reasons... blessed is the word of the loed for he who repents his sins will be welcolend into the kindome of heaven,,,, or stoned to death of in other religion.... its a fuck site... meet people with similar tastes... fuck and does r long term friendship and swapping... if you knoe what you want... go fill your boots,,, but for christs sake dont judge,,, or blame your emotional fragile state on someone who cheated on you.... Nobody's talking about emotional attachment. Like I said, being on a sex site does not immediately strip one of all morals. This is not some sort of prehistoric orgy where everyone has gone insane with lust and thrown all reason to the wind. If you want to have random, nsa sex that's fine but lying to your partner about it, who you have promised to be true to by entering into a relationship with them, has always been and will always remain W. R. O. N. G. To your mate with the sick wife - he shouldn't have married her if he wasn't prepared for this eventuality. While he couldn't have known that this was going to happen, the words say: "forsaking all other, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.". Or does making vows not mean jack shit anymore? Not that I'm going to take seriously the opinion of an actual adult attempting to debate using the words "nee nor nee nor" anyway OK, so you’re quoting “forsaking all others” in wedding vows? Surely that means swinging is horribly wrong in YOUR opinion too? And divorce? Promising to be together forever - do you therefore think then you must stay married forever whatever the circumstances? No of course not, now you're twisting my words. Reread my original post and then read it again. If I thought swinging was wrong I wouldn't be on a website called FabSWINGERS now would I? I think swinging is perfectly acceptable as long as both people in the relationship are comfortable and happy with the arrangement. My point with the vows was that if you've said them then you should be prepared to carry them through. Obviously people are allowed to get a divorce it things aren't working out, but WHILE you're married you should respect the sanctity of it and respect your spouse enough to fulfil your promises to them. If you BOTH agree that one or both of you will sleep with other people then that's obviously fair enough. But all these people bringing up personal stories of their friends caring for their spouses - that's LITERALLY what they promised to do. If you're not prepared to stick by your spouse during the worst of times should you even have married them at all? This doesn’t answer the “forsaking all others” vow. Yes it does, you're just clutching at straws now. " It doesn’t actually, but I’m giving up now. I know I’m hitting my head against a brick wall. I don’t care if I’m banned. I think abusive people (not you, I hasten yo add) should be named. And how, even thought I’ve blocked them, are they still able to send me abusive messages? Bit suspicious! | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"You made a lot of assumptions, the first being that the person having additional sex is unhappy with any aspect of their relationship. That’s not the case most of the time." Very true, I am a married/attached man and I do meet solo as well as as together. That doesn't mean we haven't got good relationship or good sex life. We understand each other and we know we both have fantasies. It is all about fulfilling them and having great fun. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"You made a lot of assumptions, the first being that the person having additional sex is unhappy with any aspect of their relationship. That’s not the case most of the time. Very true, I am a married/attached man and I do meet solo as well as as together. That doesn't mean we haven't got good relationship or good sex life. We understand each other and we know we both have fantasies. It is all about fulfilling them and having great fun. " Where did you get that from? Literally nobody said that swingers have unhappy relationships. This thread is about cheaters, not legitimate swingers. Not gonna lie I'm getting a bit sick of people just picking bits out of my argument out of context and not seeing what I'm saying on the whole. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging. Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book. How are they the same? One is deceitful and the other is with full consent. I was referring to those "swinging" without their partners knowledge or consent" I was a bit confused as I thought you liked the idea of a swinging relationship. I get you now. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Im a cheater....it cost me the love of my life and £400 grand. I've learnt my lesson the hard way. " Sounds like a AA meeting introduction | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions. For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them? Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! " My piece of shit ex, constantly cheated, while we were doing this. I think, because we swung together and he had my permission, it took the edge of it. I think he got a kick out of being ‘naughty’ behind my back. He’s now with a serial cheat also, so good riddance to them, they will never trust each other. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"nee nor nee nor.... call the morality cops... this is a swinging site, meet for sex with likeminded people... if you want emotional attachment join e harmony or find my sould mate . com or whatever the meet tonight has couples asking for 5 men gang bangs,,, fuck me blidfolded and couples who want tied up and arse fucked. if you are seeking a sould mate with similar sexual interests and desires all the best,,, if you are seeking a discreet quick fuck, crack on... emotional attachment, crack on... my mates wife has cancer,,, he has his sexual needs and meets discreetly for sex... doesnt want to leave his wife, doesnt want emotional attachment... crack on... i am divorced and dont want a relationship... who are any of you to judge anyone else... if someone chooses to cheat, thats up to them... they have their reasons... blessed is the word of the loed for he who repents his sins will be welcolend into the kindome of heaven,,,, or stoned to death of in other religion.... its a fuck site... meet people with similar tastes... fuck and does r long term friendship and swapping... if you knoe what you want... go fill your boots,,, but for christs sake dont judge,,, or blame your emotional fragile state on someone who cheated on you.... " A man cheats when his wife has cancer. I'm judging him so much!!!! | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I’ve heard all the excuses, and that’s just what they are. Cheating is deceit no matter how you paint it, relationships in whatever form are based on trust and respect so it’s impossible to cheat and still claim the moral high ground based on “family” and “children”. You’re just trying to justify deceit. People make mistakes, we are apes after all with instincts, but knowingly arranging an affair in whatever form that takes without informing your partner, is deceitful as it’s premeditated. Nancy" Blimey Nancy! Love that post. As always threads like these are a touchy subject for many with good reason. I have contributed to these before, but this time I am going to reveal something a step further... Very much related to Fab and forums especially: Over the years on many occasions I have witnessed whenever there were major problems/issues "cheaters" were right at the centre of it. Still goes on to certain extent because forums are full of cheaters. It's common knowledge for those that have been on here for a long time, but newbies often find out when they have had a negative/bad experience/encounter. Not all cheaters do it because many go about their own business, but a few repeat offenders enjoy causing destruction. Obviously they don't stay in their own lanes for private life/relationships so they have the need to meddle causing problems for others online. Must be some weird fetish they have, but not the kinky fun the rest of us like to indulge in. Why/how do they get away with it I hear you ask!? They blend in with the crowd. Known as "schemers" having a common goal/purpose means a few Fabbers turn a blind eye and therefore become groupies/friends... How do the rest of us know this!? Schemers, cheaters, impulsive liars, sycophants etc etc when they form a group/bond it is only a matter of time that becomes toxic/volatile. Sooner or later things erupt and a few of the schemers become "squealers" if you happen to be connected to enough people on here you hear the stories... and think my God is that what people joined to do on here! The other way it becomes common knowledge is because the drama/politics dirty laundry is splattered all over the forums. It mostly remains in the archives unless it is seriously extreme to the point it get's removed. I know life is all about chances/opportunities and looking for the good in people, but can you ever truly trust a cheater!? In other words an expert game player. If they can trick "loved ones" partners/families what do you think they will do to strangers... anyway there is my bit to shed some light on the matter from a different point of view. Time to get a wiggle on and enjoy the glorious sunshine. Have a lovely weekend Fabbers | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I’ve heard all the excuses, and that’s just what they are. Cheating is deceit no matter how you paint it, relationships in whatever form are based on trust and respect so it’s impossible to cheat and still claim the moral high ground based on “family” and “children”. You’re just trying to justify deceit. People make mistakes, we are apes after all with instincts, but knowingly arranging an affair in whatever form that takes without informing your partner, is deceitful as it’s premeditated. Nancy Blimey Nancy! Love that post. As always threads like these are a touchy subject for many with good reason. I have contributed to these before, but this time I am going to reveal something a step further... Very much related to Fab and forums especially: Over the years on many occasions I have witnessed whenever there were major problems/issues "cheaters" were right at the centre of it. Still goes on to certain extent because forums are full of cheaters. It's common knowledge for those that have been on here for a long time, but newbies often find out when they have had a negative/bad experience/encounter. Not all cheaters do it because many go about their own business, but a few repeat offenders enjoy causing destruction. Obviously they don't stay in their own lanes for private life/relationships so they have the need to meddle causing problems for others online. Must be some weird fetish they have, but not the kinky fun the rest of us like to indulge in. Why/how do they get away with it I hear you ask!? They blend in with the crowd. Known as "schemers" having a common goal/purpose means a few Fabbers turn a blind eye and therefore become groupies/friends... How do the rest of us know this!? Schemers, cheaters, impulsive liars, sycophants etc etc when they form a group/bond it is only a matter of time that becomes toxic/volatile. Sooner or later things erupt and a few of the schemers become "squealers" if you happen to be connected to enough people on here you hear the stories... and think my God is that what people joined to do on here! The other way it becomes common knowledge is because the drama/politics dirty laundry is splattered all over the forums. It mostly remains in the archives unless it is seriously extreme to the point it get's removed. I know life is all about chances/opportunities and looking for the good in people, but can you ever truly trust a cheater!? In other words an expert game player. If they can trick "loved ones" partners/families what do you think they will do to strangers... anyway there is my bit to shed some light on the matter from a different point of view. Time to get a wiggle on and enjoy the glorious sunshine. Have a lovely weekend Fabbers " | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"One thing I've concluded about fabbers, yes it's generalised but forumites tend to be the most judgemental group of self confirmed open-minded individuals I've mingled with. It's worrying. " I’m open minded with pretty much most things but lying and being deceitful I draw the line at. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals.. Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps..." How can it be classed as cheating if you are both doing it together. There is no deceit. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals.. Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps..." Very true. We are all cheating to some extent ... Quoting wedding vows on here did make me giggle as I think we all are breaking those??? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions. For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them? Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! " unless these folk directly message you asking too meet you i dont see how its your business to lecture or dish out lessons to anyone???? and even still then, how does their business affect you? the gall of you!! | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals.. Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps..." Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat. Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals.. Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps... Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat. Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given. " | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals.. Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps... Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat. Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given. " Cheating may not always be decetful. If marriage vows are broken, does that not constitute cheating even if permission is given? Think in a Court of law this would be the case. There's a few in here who will know that better than me and may correct me on that point. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals.. Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps... Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat. Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given. Cheating may not always be decetful. If marriage vows are broken, does that not constitute cheating even if permission is given? Think in a Court of law this would be the case. There's a few in here who will know that better than me and may correct me on that point." Depends on your vows. Some don’t use most of the traditional ones. I got married by Elvis In Vegas and was definitely no ‘obey’ etc in there. Not married anymore but we wouldn’t have been breaking any if we were and swinging. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions. For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them? Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! " Cant believe your on a swinging site and your judging other people, thats hilarious!!! Can single people actually swing or is it just having sex with loads of different people??? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals.. Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps... Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat. Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given. Cheating may not always be decetful. If marriage vows are broken, does that not constitute cheating even if permission is given? Think in a Court of law this would be the case. There's a few in here who will know that better than me and may correct me on that point. Depends on your vows. Some don’t use most of the traditional ones. I got married by Elvis In Vegas and was definitely no ‘obey’ etc in there. Not married anymore but we wouldn’t have been breaking any if we were and swinging. " Elvis is none existent so may the certificate was too | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions. For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them? Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! Cant believe your on a swinging site and your judging other people, thats hilarious!!! Can single people actually swing or is it just having sex with loads of different people??? " Apparently not, then again most activity on here isn't anything to do with swinging, it's a swing site in name but not in practice one can easily argue. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals.. Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps... Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat. Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given. Cheating may not always be decetful. If marriage vows are broken, does that not constitute cheating even if permission is given? Think in a Court of law this would be the case. There's a few in here who will know that better than me and may correct me on that point. Depends on your vows. Some don’t use most of the traditional ones. I got married by Elvis In Vegas and was definitely no ‘obey’ etc in there. Not married anymore but we wouldn’t have been breaking any if we were and swinging. Elvis is none existent so may the certificate was too " It was definitely witnessed by a register. I got divorced legally last year so it was real. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals.. Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps... Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat. Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given. Cheating may not always be decetful. If marriage vows are broken, does that not constitute cheating even if permission is given? Think in a Court of law this would be the case. There's a few in here who will know that better than me and may correct me on that point." I’ll reply here what I just replied to your question asking me, Midas, if I knew (it’s not my area of specialty mind so these are my thoughts on initial logical thinking): Legally marriage is the union of assets; not a contract stipulating how you live your life and thus who you have sex with. You can break the contract (divorce) on the grounds of adultery, sex out of wedlock with a member of the opposite sex (so that’s between a man and a woman solely in the eyes of the law) however if you’ve lived together as a couple for 6 months after you found out about it you cannot cite adultery as a reason for divorce so given the huge issues with using sex out of wedlock as a reason for divorce the fact there’s been a provision of consent if someone is swinging then it’s highly unlikely it would be considered as a breach of marriage contract. So semantically I’d view cheating as already stated by others as being a lack of consent, and not enshrined in legal contract of marriage - especially as it appears sex with the same sex out of wedlock looks not to be grounds for adultery anyway! | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals.. Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps... Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat. Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given. Cheating may not always be decetful. If marriage vows are broken, does that not constitute cheating even if permission is given? Think in a Court of law this would be the case. There's a few in here who will know that better than me and may correct me on that point. Depends on your vows. Some don’t use most of the traditional ones. I got married by Elvis In Vegas and was definitely no ‘obey’ etc in there. Not married anymore but we wouldn’t have been breaking any if we were and swinging. Elvis is none existent so may the certificate was too It was definitely witnessed by a register. I got divorced legally last year so it was real. " *registrar | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"One thing I've concluded about fabbers, yes it's generalised but forumites tend to be the most judgemental group of self confirmed open-minded individuals I've mingled with. It's worrying. " So true | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions. For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them? Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! Cant believe your on a swinging site and your judging other people, thats hilarious!!! Can single people actually swing or is it just having sex with loads of different people??? Apparently not, then again most activity on here isn't anything to do with swinging, it's a swing site in name but not in practice one can easily argue." Thats because most spend there time on here thinking they have the right to judge other people lol | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions. For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them? Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! Cant believe your on a swinging site and your judging other people, thats hilarious!!! Can single people actually swing or is it just having sex with loads of different people??? Apparently not, then again most activity on here isn't anything to do with swinging, it's a swing site in name but not in practice one can easily argue. Thats because most spend there time on here thinking they have the right to judge other people lol" Was your previous comment not also judgemental? The tone would have suggested it was more than an opinion. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals.. Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps... Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat. Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given. Cheating may not always be decetful. If marriage vows are broken, does that not constitute cheating even if permission is given? Think in a Court of law this would be the case. There's a few in here who will know that better than me and may correct me on that point. I’ll reply here what I just replied to your question asking me, Midas, if I knew (it’s not my area of specialty mind so these are my thoughts on initial logical thinking): Legally marriage is the union of assets; not a contract stipulating how you live your life and thus who you have sex with. You can break the contract (divorce) on the grounds of adultery, sex out of wedlock with a member of the opposite sex (so that’s between a man and a woman solely in the eyes of the law) however if you’ve lived together as a couple for 6 months after you found out about it you cannot cite adultery as a reason for divorce so given the huge issues with using sex out of wedlock as a reason for divorce the fact there’s been a provision of consent if someone is swinging then it’s highly unlikely it would be considered as a breach of marriage contract. So semantically I’d view cheating as already stated by others as being a lack of consent, and not enshrined in legal contract of marriage - especially as it appears sex with the same sex out of wedlock looks not to be grounds for adultery anyway! " Thank you. Cleared that up nicely. I stand corrected. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals.. Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps... Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat. Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given. Cheating may not always be decetful. If marriage vows are broken, does that not constitute cheating even if permission is given? Think in a Court of law this would be the case. There's a few in here who will know that better than me and may correct me on that point." No. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
back to top |