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Cheaters

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions.

For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them?

Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull


"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions.

For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them?

Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions.

For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them?

Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! "

I agree with all that you have said, it’s truly saddening. I have no idea why they bother being in a relationship at all if they wish not to be.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

Shoe on the other foot. My so called parents, I've been estranged from them sinse I was 18. I would not piss on them if they we're on fire. Maybe if one or both of them had gone off and had affairs and broken up. I may of had a better childhood. Instead, I had years of arguing, alochic abuse and sexual abuse. If they we're having affairs they may of been happier, and I would not of made home life so crap.

My now ex husband had an affair on me, I'd of done anything to work it through, and kept my marridge. He wanted my to be a stay at home house wife. Cook clean ect, but for him to have an " open relationship" No way! I was his wife of 20 years. That was not happening.

Fast forward 10 years, I'm a swinger. Very happy to meet marreied men. For me it's just sex. No commitments, no attachments. What they do in their private life is upto them. At that point in time, we're 2 consenting adults.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Shoe on the other foot. My so called parents, I've been estranged from them sinse I was 18. I would not piss on them if they we're on fire. Maybe if one or both of them had gone off and had affairs and broken up. I may of had a better childhood. Instead, I had years of arguing, alochic abuse and sexual abuse. If they we're having affairs they may of been happier, and I would not of made home life so crap.

My now ex husband had an affair on me, I'd of done anything to work it through, and kept my marridge. He wanted my to be a stay at home house wife. Cook clean ect, but for him to have an " open relationship" No way! I was his wife of 20 years. That was not happening.

Fast forward 10 years, I'm a swinger. Very happy to meet marreied men. For me it's just sex. No commitments, no attachments. What they do in their private life is upto them. At that point in time, we're 2 consenting adults. "

Surely the better scenario with your parents would have been to separate, not have an affair.

You also can’t complain about your ex-husbands infidelity if you are now the one engaging in the destruction of another’s marriage. Relationships are about honesty and respect: an affair is a complete perversion of that. If one wishes to cheat - they should leave their partners and do as they will; without hurting the other.

It’s incredibly simple....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You made a lot of assumptions, the first being that the person having additional sex is unhappy with any aspect of their relationship. That’s not the case most of the time.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved? "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved? "

Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone has a story or in some cases a cover story!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved?

Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate. "

Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging. "

Agree

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved?

Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate.

Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them? "

Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved?

Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate.

Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them?

Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out. "

What if one half of the couple won’t agree???

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved?

Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate.

Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them?

Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out. "

In fact, what if everything you could ever suggest has already been tried over a period of 9+ years?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge n DragonCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire


"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved? "

Coming from a single parent family since single digits. Can assure you. Can mature to normality witout both.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved?

Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate.

Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them?

Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out.

In fact, what if everything you could ever suggest has already been tried over a period of 9+ years? "


"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved?

Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate.

Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them?

Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out.

In fact, what if everything you could ever suggest has already been tried over a period of 9+ years? "

Then you’re no longer in a relationship and instead feeling trapped. The only solution is divorce.

According to your profile, you also have a Dom and sleep with women. I’m sure once your husband and children learn of this; you shall learn that my advice is the best option. I can’t imagine anyone being ok in finding out such information. Which he will, things never stay secret for long.

You+partner and children all have one life. You are merely making yourself happy atm. Separation gives both adults the chance to find what they’re looking for. It also stops the children having to put up with the inevitable outcome when you’re found out.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions.

For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them?

Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! "

Giving someone else a lesson in morality isn't your job.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/04/19 09:19:18]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved?

Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate.

Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them?

Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out.

In fact, what if everything you could ever suggest has already been tried over a period of 9+ years?

That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved?

Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate.

Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them?

Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out.

In fact, what if everything you could ever suggest has already been tried over a period of 9+ years?

Then you’re no longer in a relationship and instead feeling trapped. The only solution is divorce.

According to your profile, you also have a Dom and sleep with women. I’m sure once your husband and children learn of this; you shall learn that my advice is the best option. I can’t imagine anyone being ok in finding out such information. Which he will, things never stay secret for long.

You+partner and children all have one life. You are merely making yourself happy atm. Separation gives both adults the chance to find what they’re looking for. It also stops the children having to put up with the inevitable outcome when you’re found out. "

I’m not talking about me!

Tell me, have you ever been married? Have you got children?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many judgemental people....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The reality is:-

A cheater will happily lie to a partner wife no problem!

So its fair to say they have no moral code.

Based on that they will happily lie to me/you on here.

So if you ask them 'Have you been tested are you sti free?'

Can you trust them not to lie to you? NO

Swinging is about trust for most so there you go you can't trust them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/04/19 09:27:51]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many judgemental people.... "

SO many!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions.

For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them?

Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality!

Giving someone else a lesson in morality isn't your job. "

Neither is pointing that out to someone yours.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging. "

Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many judgemental people.... "

How can one possibly judge without knowing the exact circumstances of each relationship? There are so many different reasons for cheating. Some justified, other not. It’s ridiculous to say it’s never ever ok. Sometimes it’s about survival.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This must be the now compulsory daily cheaters thread.

Can we just form two lines in the usual entrenched positions,count those for those against and leave all the usual angst behind?

Where is the

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging.

Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book. "

Thats true but people try to justify their actions in any way.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ydnNancyCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"The reality is:-

A cheater will happily lie to a partner wife no problem!

So its fair to say they have no moral code.

Based on that they will happily lie to me/you on here.

So if you ask them 'Have you been tested are you sti free?'

Can you trust them not to lie to you? NO

Swinging is about trust for most so there you go you can't trust them. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i had two lousy husband's neither looked after me properly.both cheated on me all through the marriage. I was the one who ended it with both. I had a child to each. Both were under 7 when i broke up with them(daughter to first husband was 7 and son to second husband was 6 when i got rid) i managed better on my own. i agree if you are going to cheat leave and let partner find someone who wont cheat on them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This must be the now compulsory daily cheaters thread.

Can we just form two lines in the usual entrenched positions,count those for those against and leave all the usual angst behind?

Where is the "

So true. Well, i’m in the middle of those lines! Just wish I’d never commented on this thread!!! Whoops! I will now take my leave.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved?

Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate.

Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them?

Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out.

In fact, what if everything you could ever suggest has already been tried over a period of 9+ years?

That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved?

Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate.

Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them?

Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out.

In fact, what if everything you could ever suggest has already been tried over a period of 9+ years?

Then you’re no longer in a relationship and instead feeling trapped. The only solution is divorce.

According to your profile, you also have a Dom and sleep with women. I’m sure once your husband and children learn of this; you shall learn that my advice is the best option. I can’t imagine anyone being ok in finding out such information. Which he will, things never stay secret for long.

You+partner and children all have one life. You are merely making yourself happy atm. Separation gives both adults the chance to find what they’re looking for. It also stops the children having to put up with the inevitable outcome when you’re found out.

I’m not talking about me!

Tell me, have you ever been married? Have you got children? "

You mentioned a time frame, scenario and seem to be taking it personally. It’s likely that most would assume you to then be in the said situation. I’m also not being judgemental, though if one is in a relationship they should stick to the rules of one or leave. There’s no reason to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes. That’s not a judgement, it’s basic human compassion.

In relation to your question :- I do indeed have children. I am however unattached and have never been married. (Though I have been engaged rather often )

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ydnNancyCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

[Removed by poster at 17/04/19 09:34:17]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ydnNancyCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

I’ve heard all the excuses, and that’s just what they are.

Cheating is deceit no matter how you paint it, relationships in whatever form are based on trust and respect so it’s impossible to cheat and still claim the moral high ground based on “family” and “children”.

You’re just trying to justify deceit.

People make mistakes, we are apes after all with instincts, but knowingly arranging an affair in whatever form that takes without informing your partner, is deceitful as it’s premeditated.

Nancy

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i had two lousy husband's neither looked after me properly.both cheated on me all through the marriage. I was the one who ended it with both. I had a child to each. Both were under 7 when i broke up with them(daughter to first husband was 7 and son to second husband was 6 when i got rid) i managed better on my own. i agree if you are going to cheat leave and let partner find someone who wont cheat on them."

Thats not nice at all especially to be on the receiving end but the reality is a cheater is a selfish person and that's a fact they think more about their own need than the feelings of others if they didn't and weren't selfish they wouldn't.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved?

Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate.

Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them?

Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out.

In fact, what if everything you could ever suggest has already been tried over a period of 9+ years?

That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved?

Surely if the relationship is unhappy and there are children involved, that’s all the more reason to separate.

Not always. If by having an affair it enables you to still live together and provide a happy home for the children. Surely that’s better for them?

Why not just have an open relationship? Then both parents and children are happy. I can assure you that the children shall be more damaged with the shit storm when the lies are found out.

In fact, what if everything you could ever suggest has already been tried over a period of 9+ years?

Then you’re no longer in a relationship and instead feeling trapped. The only solution is divorce.

According to your profile, you also have a Dom and sleep with women. I’m sure once your husband and children learn of this; you shall learn that my advice is the best option. I can’t imagine anyone being ok in finding out such information. Which he will, things never stay secret for long.

You+partner and children all have one life. You are merely making yourself happy atm. Separation gives both adults the chance to find what they’re looking for. It also stops the children having to put up with the inevitable outcome when you’re found out.

I’m not talking about me!

Tell me, have you ever been married? Have you got children?

You mentioned a time frame, scenario and seem to be taking it personally. It’s likely that most would assume you to then be in the said situation. I’m also not being judgemental, though if one is in a relationship they should stick to the rules of one or leave. There’s no reason to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes. That’s not a judgement, it’s basic human compassion.

In relation to your question :- I do indeed have children. I am however unattached and have never been married. (Though I have been engaged rather often )"

Someone very close to me is going through this at the moment. And it’s heartbreaking to watch. You have children. You’ve never been married. Don’t judge a situation you’ve never been in. I don’t.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat.

Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years.

He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7.

He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex.

What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts.

Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour.

People in glass houses......

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat.

Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years.

He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7.

He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex.

What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts.

Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour.

People in glass houses...... "

Then maybe he should spend more time with here than trying to get his end away! Is sex that important to him in the bigger picture!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat.

Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years.

He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7.

He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex.

What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts.

Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour.

People in glass houses......

Then maybe he should spend more time with here than trying to get his end away! Is sex that important to him in the bigger picture! "

Seriously??? He’s her carer 24/7.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat.

Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years.

He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7.

He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex.

What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts.

Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour.

People in glass houses...... "

I was about to post a similar thing about a woman we know whose husband needs 24/7 care. She has a gent visit when he's at respite a couple of times a week. Should she leave him to find someone who wouldn't cheat on him or tell him what's going on or should she continue to care for him as she has done for the last few years?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat.

Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years.

He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7.

He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex.

What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts.

Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour.

People in glass houses......

Then maybe he should spend more time with here than trying to get his end away! Is sex that important to him in the bigger picture!

Seriously??? He’s her carer 24/7."

Seriously! Well the fact is he can't be 24/7 if he is going out to meet people can he!

People try to justify their self centred action is any way that's a fact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat.

Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years.

He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7.

He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex.

What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts.

Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour.

People in glass houses......

Then maybe he should spend more time with here than trying to get his end away! Is sex that important to him in the bigger picture!

Seriously??? He’s her carer 24/7.

Seriously! Well the fact is he can't be 24/7 if he is going out to meet people can he!

People try to justify their self centred action is any way that's a fact.

"

Once every two months he has a break.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat.

Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years.

He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7.

He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex.

What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts.

Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour.

People in glass houses...... "

That’s hardly the most common affair scenario though, is it. You’re very much aware of what we’re speaking of, yet are looking for a scenario to justify it.

When one chooses to step out and lead a separate life: they’re no longer in a relationship. You can’t just change the rules to suit yourself. If we look for grey areas to justify everything, then it’s not long before we fall as a society.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat.

Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years.

He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7.

He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex.

What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts.

Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour.

People in glass houses......

That’s hardly the most common affair scenario though, is it. You’re very much aware of what we’re speaking of, yet are looking for a scenario to justify it.

When one chooses to step out and lead a separate life: they’re no longer in a relationship. You can’t just change the rules to suit yourself. If we look for grey areas to justify everything, then it’s not long before we fall as a society. "

Ok, how about if one chooses to withdraw from sexual activity. Theyre changing the rules to suit themselves, should they leave their relationship?

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By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester


"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat.

Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years.

He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7.

He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex.

What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts.

Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour.

People in glass houses......

That’s hardly the most common affair scenario though, is it. You’re very much aware of what we’re speaking of, yet are looking for a scenario to justify it.

When one chooses to step out and lead a separate life: they’re no longer in a relationship. You can’t just change the rules to suit yourself. If we look for grey areas to justify everything, then it’s not long before we fall as a society. "

I was thinking the same 99% and more of people cheating won't be in this situation and personally if I was I wouldn't be thinking about sex in any down time I had. But as others have said any scenario to justify licit sex seems to be the cheaters argument.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat.

Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years.

He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7.

He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex.

What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts.

Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour.

People in glass houses......

That’s hardly the most common affair scenario though, is it. You’re very much aware of what we’re speaking of, yet are looking for a scenario to justify it.

When one chooses to step out and lead a separate life: they’re no longer in a relationship. You can’t just change the rules to suit yourself. If we look for grey areas to justify everything, then it’s not long before we fall as a society.

Ok, how about if one chooses to withdraw from sexual activity. Theyre changing the rules to suit themselves, should they leave their relationship?"

Surely this is where the art of communication should be used. Choosing to just sleep with someone else is a juvenile act, and shows a lack of maturity/empathy for someone that you claim to care for.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

Not everything is black and white.

We all have our reasons for being here.

No one has the right to judge another person, you're not in their shoes, living their life.

If you were you may see things differently

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat.

Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years.

He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7.

He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex.

What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts.

Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour.

People in glass houses......

That’s hardly the most common affair scenario though, is it. You’re very much aware of what we’re speaking of, yet are looking for a scenario to justify it.

When one chooses to step out and lead a separate life: they’re no longer in a relationship. You can’t just change the rules to suit yourself. If we look for grey areas to justify everything, then it’s not long before we fall as a society.

Ok, how about if one chooses to withdraw from sexual activity. Theyre changing the rules to suit themselves, should they leave their relationship?

Surely this is where the art of communication should be used. Choosing to just sleep with someone else is a juvenile act, and shows a lack of maturity/empathy for someone that you claim to care for.

"

Ah communication. That art is not often practiced properly in relationships

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By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester


"Not everything is black and white.

We all have our reasons for being here.

No one has the right to judge another person, you're not in their shoes, living their life.

If you were you may see things differently "

That's not true everyone judges people in life as it is from the way they dress to the clothes they wear saying people dont have the right to do so is hypocritical as everyone does it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not everything is black and white.

We all have our reasons for being here.

No one has the right to judge another person, you're not in their shoes, living their life.

If you were you may see things differently

That's not true everyone judges people in life as it is from the way they dress to the clothes they wear saying people dont have the right to do so is hypocritical as everyone does it."

Doesn't mean they have the RIGHT to judge them and certainly not the right to publicly vilify them

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By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester


"Not everything is black and white.

We all have our reasons for being here.

No one has the right to judge another person, you're not in their shoes, living their life.

If you were you may see things differently

That's not true everyone judges people in life as it is from the way they dress to the clothes they wear saying people dont have the right to do so is hypocritical as everyone does it.

Doesn't mean they have the RIGHT to judge them and certainly not the right to publicly vilify them"

There you go attaching to things together I didn't mention vilification so pull your neck in! People judge others every single day on multiple issues every single person cheating will make judgements on others every month if not every day saying don't judge me is hypocritical to say the least.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging. "

100% agree!

So frustrating and a cop out that so many excuse cheating with swinging!

If you are 1 part of a couple or a single and are seeking sexual exploits WITHOUT your/their partners knowledge/consent you are a CHEAT.

And the old chesnut of lame reasons as to why you cheat.. lack of sex, can't leave because of kids, bored..blah blah blah.

They are just the cheats way of denial over their choices.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not everything is black and white.

We all have our reasons for being here.

No one has the right to judge another person, you're not in their shoes, living their life.

If you were you may see things differently

That's not true everyone judges people in life as it is from the way they dress to the clothes they wear saying people dont have the right to do so is hypocritical as everyone does it.

Doesn't mean they have the RIGHT to judge them and certainly not the right to publicly vilify them"

Everyone has the right to an opinion. The only ones that deem it as a judgement, are those that engage in it.

I’m sure that you judge drug addicts/alcoholics/homeless/prostitutes/rapists/murderers etc. I’m sure they all too have a ‘reason’. I’m sure defending them doesn’t relate to your own circumstances though; so that judgement is entirely fine with yourselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Such a dull thread. If you don't want to meet cheaters, it's easy enough to screen them out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not my business so i never cared if there cheating or not

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By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester


"Such a dull thread. If you don't want to meet cheaters, it's easy enough to screen them out."

Its not though as they lie and rarely tell you so that a dull and factually inaccurate comment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not everything is black and white.

We all have our reasons for being here.

No one has the right to judge another person, you're not in their shoes, living their life.

If you were you may see things differently

That's not true everyone judges people in life as it is from the way they dress to the clothes they wear saying people dont have the right to do so is hypocritical as everyone does it.

Doesn't mean they have the RIGHT to judge them and certainly not the right to publicly vilify them

Everyone has the right to an opinion. The only ones that deem it as a judgement, are those that engage in it.

I’m sure that you judge drug addicts/alcoholics/homeless/prostitutes/rapists/murderers etc. I’m sure they all too have a ‘reason’. I’m sure defending them doesn’t relate to your own circumstances though; so that judgement is entirely fine with yourselves. "

You're right I do judge... but then i remind myself i haven't lived their lives... i dont have to deal with the range of emotions they go through each day... and i let then lead their lives how they wish to without any further input from me. If i want to know why they did it, I ask the question. If i want to know how it makes then feel, I ask the question.

I do not make decisions about their lives based on my experiences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Opinions are like arseholes, everyone had one.

This thread is a fascinating read.... Swingers judging cheaters and vice versa, get the popcorn.

For us we just don’t like the idea of putting trust in someone who is being dishonest with their significant other. It’s not a moral judgement just where we draw the line. We are very aware a lot of people would judge us if they knew what we were up to.

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By *andy6677Man
over a year ago

crewe

This is why we have a totally open and in time poly relationship as that way theres no need to cheat. As someone whos been cheated on in past it does knock your trust in others but ive never felt more at ease than i do now knowing as and when we find our poly partner or partners any urge to cheat is not there.

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By *ondonexplorerMan
over a year ago

Ascot

When you consider the rough treatment men get during divorce (when kids are involved) is it really any wonder why they would choose to seek sex elsewhere and keep the relationship going?

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By *ornysxguyMan
over a year ago

Maldon, Essex

Define cheating?

Is it cheating when a married person has permission for fulfil sexual desires that their partner can’t? There’s more the full on relationships than just sex. Hence why so many people will have carefree sex over relationships.

How will you know if the persons “cheating”? Are you prepared to speak with the other party to confirm? Would that change your mind or would you still class then as cheaters?

Many reasons for people being here. Both male and female. But as always it’s perceived by most that men are the “cheaters” and the woman are just “Hotwives”

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By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds


"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions.

For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them?

Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! "

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Such a dull thread. If you don't want to meet cheaters, it's easy enough to screen them out."

Most of the time yes, however I have had a couple of social meets where they have confessed they aren't single. Walked away feeling very pissed off I'd been lied to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Such a dull thread. If you don't want to meet cheaters, it's easy enough to screen them out.

Most of the time yes, however I have had a couple of social meets where they have confessed they aren't single. Walked away feeling very pissed off I'd been lied to. "

This is exactly why I have it on my profile.... people can then make an informed choice xx

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By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

Be open and honest about it, some people don't mind and some do but leave it upto the person your interested in to decide

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve heard all the excuses, and that’s just what they are.

Cheating is deceit no matter how you paint it, relationships in whatever form are based on trust and respect so it’s impossible to cheat and still claim the moral high ground based on “family” and “children”.

You’re just trying to justify deceit.

People make mistakes, we are apes after all with instincts, but knowingly arranging an affair in whatever form that takes without informing your partner, is deceitful as it’s premeditated.

Nancy"

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By *olamarvinCouple
over a year ago

corby area

Why be so judgemental about others. Let people live theee lives as they want. Most people on here can work out what is what. Then you make a judgement on your own morales what you want to do. With us its fine if your married. Its about sex and sex only in our book.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People can be pretty disappointing sometimes, but some people are wrong uns or arseholes. Let them be, I won’t be wasting any of my time on them.

I’ve never understood why people feel the need to judge and then go out of their way to tell said arsehole what they are?

Do people actually think they are going to change said persons mind and they are gonna wake up a different person because of what some random on a sex site said to them yesterday? Surely not

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By *lixir of lifeMan
over a year ago

knob Creek

Preaching morality on a site full of people who lie ...

People preaching morals just makes me laugh..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat.

Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years.

He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7.

He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex.

What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts.

Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour.

People in glass houses......

Then maybe he should spend more time with here than trying to get his end away! Is sex that important to him in the bigger picture! "

How can you possibly come on a swingers site and tell someone they shouldn't be interested in sex? Sex is a basic human need, and lack of it has been shown to lead to psychological problems. How would you like it if someone told YOU that you shouldn't be interested in sex? Whether you are single or not, sex is still important.

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

No one has actually said I don’t fancy my wife anymore, she isn’t sexually attracted, far to boring in bed, she’s unattractive, she’s put on weight, she doesn’t look after herself, she puts motherhood before me, these are usually the biggest reasons men cheat, it’s easy to say my wife doesn’t want sex anymore, I’d hazard a guess it’s possibly the actual opposite in truth

All I know is no one deserves to be cheated on and I bet for all the cheaters they know that a good chance the marriage will end, why are you all so desperate to stay married ?

A terminally ill person equally has the right for true love and not getting cheated on too, in fact I’m horrified someone would do that to a loved one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not everything is black and white.

We all have our reasons for being here.

No one has the right to judge another person, you're not in their shoes, living their life.

If you were you may see things differently

That's not true everyone judges people in life as it is from the way they dress to the clothes they wear saying people dont have the right to do so is hypocritical as everyone does it.

Doesn't mean they have the RIGHT to judge them and certainly not the right to publicly vilify them

Everyone has the right to an opinion. The only ones that deem it as a judgement, are those that engage in it.

I’m sure that you judge drug addicts/alcoholics/homeless/prostitutes/rapists/murderers etc. I’m sure they all too have a ‘reason’. I’m sure defending them doesn’t relate to your own circumstances though; so that judgement is entirely fine with yourselves.

You're right I do judge... but then i remind myself i haven't lived their lives... i dont have to deal with the range of emotions they go through each day... and i let then lead their lives how they wish to without any further input from me. If i want to know why they did it, I ask the question. If i want to know how it makes then feel, I ask the question.

I do not make decisions about their lives based on my experiences."

We are discussing the act in itself. So we are not being “judgemental”. Now, if we were to single an individual out, then you may be able to sit upon your white high horse; and be judgemental back at us for being judgemental. Though.....that would also make you a hypocrite.

There’s nothing wrong with discussion, it’s what this forum is for. We’re merely voicing personal opinion. You’re allowed to agree or disagree. You can’t tell someone that they’re wrong, for deeming it wrong though. People get hurt, life should be about ‘do no harm’. An affair does harm. Simples.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I don't waste my time foisting MY morality onto others.

They ask, I say no.

Job done.

So many people trying to control the lives and relationships of others. Once you've said NO there is no more for you to do.

Think i'll start telling everyone how to raise their children and what to put in their shopping basket and call them immoral if they don't walk their dog for the number of minutes that I walk mine per day.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Okay I lied. I don't have a dog.

Lecture please. Lying is bad.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Definitely did not expect this much input, feel like a bit of a devil's advocate now! My main point though was that before I joined fab I didn't realise how EASILY people can find it to cheat. It's given me a massive complex for any future relationships and I know I can't pin that on this website as cheating is down to the individual but just saying it's definitely been an eye-opener.

As to people saying I'm being judgemental - yeah damn right I am. Just because this is a sex site doesn't mean people can't still be decent. Being on a sex site doesn't automatically make one immoral - the act of sex is not immoral but being deceitful is.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Not everything is black and white.

We all have our reasons for being here.

No one has the right to judge another person, you're not in their shoes, living their life.

If you were you may see things differently

That's not true everyone judges people in life as it is from the way they dress to the clothes they wear saying people dont have the right to do so is hypocritical as everyone does it."

Exactly. I get judged all the time on my size without people knowing my personal situation so why is it suddenly so bad that I do it back to people who are genuinely doing something wrong?

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By *Cocksucker84Man
over a year ago

newcastle

I get the OPs original point. However, there are lots of couples who swing or who are in open relationships because one partner wants it more than the other and it's the only way for the other to hold onto that person. What's worse? Not knowing that a partner is having meaningless sex or sticking around with a partner who is openly being pleasured by other people just because they don't want their relationship to break down? The swinging lifestyle can also be more damaging than healthy to some relationships. As others have said it isn't always black and white.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

"How do you feel about taken men on this site without their vanilla wife's knowledge?

I want you on all fours like a filthy home-wrecking little slut taking a pounding from me behind her back maybe while I am talking to her on the phone, with her completely oblivious...

But dont you dare let out any whoreish moans for her to hear in the background, and you better not giggle when I say "ok love you too" on the phone while I'm balls deep inside you...."

Genuine message I've gotten on here. How am I supposed to read that and not judge the person who wrote it/tell them to go fuck themselves?!

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By *imandher84Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

Don't like cheaters and that's it for me (male) simple as that.

There is countless arguments counter arguments and moral loop holes on every opinion regarding this matter which my logical brain can weigh up with no issues.. Still don't care i don't like it.

I don't ask those that do it to explain just to leave me the feck alone and get on with yourselves, you do you with impunity i will be over here doing me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a good friend who uses this site for sex. He’s married, his wife has no knowledge of his other life and yes in black and white I guess you could call him a cheat.

Delve deeper and you would find that his wife is crippled with a life limiting illness and has dementia. They haven’t been able to have sex for 6 years.

He loves her dearly and would never desert her or hurt her. He’s her carer and provider pretty much 24/7.

He meets a couple of FWBs for sex every couple of months or so. Not love, not emotional intimacy, just the physical pleasure of having sex.

What I find harsh is judgemental criticisms of people’s personal circumstances without having the facts.

Surely if you are on a swingers site looking for sex, you are not exactly whiter than white on the moral code of human behaviour.

People in glass houses......

Then maybe he should spend more time with here than trying to get his end away! Is sex that important to him in the bigger picture! "

Everybody has needs. God bless the man for doing what he’s doing. Have some compassion!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/04/19 14:45:29]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let’s just let everyone chill and enjoy what they do on here without judgement or assumption. Those that don’t agree with what others do don’t have to mix with them or communicate. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone was perfect in how they lived their lives and there was no conflict or drama? Phew!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get the OPs original point. However, there are lots of couples who swing or who are in open relationships because one partner wants it more than the other and it's the only way for the other to hold onto that person. What's worse? Not knowing that a partner is having meaningless sex or sticking around with a partner who is openly being pleasured by other people just because they don't want their relationship to break down? The swinging lifestyle can also be more damaging than healthy to some relationships. As others have said it isn't always black and white. "

Being in an open relationship and swinging is not cheating...

The act of cheating is going behind your partners back without them being aware. Swinging and open relationships are well: open, as in both are aware and have consent.

It's odd that most assume the cheaters to be male. In my experience and from the posts on this thread, it seems that women are cheating just as much as men.

p.s. If one half of the relationship has agreed to the other to sleep with others, whilst they remain monogamous is their choice. It's certainly not my idea of a healthy relationship, though - different strokes for different folks etc.

At least there's communication, opposed to destroying the others trust.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“All I know is no one deserves to be cheated on and I bet for all the cheaters they know that a good chance the marriage will end, why are you all so desperate to stay married ?

A terminally ill person equally has the right for true love and not getting cheated on too, in fact I’m horrified someone would do that to a loved one”.

My friends wife is terminally ill. She has dementia so he couldn’t explain to her that he has sexual needs as she wouldn’t understand.

She is confused and needs constant care.

He has been faithful and by her side for over 30 years and it’s only in the last 18 months that he has met someone for no strings sex.

He loves her, and will care for her until her last breath, even though she isn’t even aware that he is her husband. He is desperately lonely and lives a very difficult life, but he would never walk away for a free pass to fuck.

Yes I admit this is an exceptional case and some people are unable to practice monogamy but it’s unkind to judge anyone’s choices, especially when you do not know the facts.

I find some of the comments on here deplorable and yes I have judged the OP and several others who have made rather pointed comments, however, I am too much of a gentleman to make my judgements public!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/04/19 15:53:25]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said Spirito

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley


"“All I know is no one deserves to be cheated on and I bet for all the cheaters they know that a good chance the marriage will end, why are you all so desperate to stay married ?

A terminally ill person equally has the right for true love and not getting cheated on too, in fact I’m horrified someone would do that to a loved one”.

My friends wife is terminally ill. She has dementia so he couldn’t explain to her that he has sexual needs as she wouldn’t understand.

She is confused and needs constant care.

He has been faithful and by her side for over 30 years and it’s only in the last 18 months that he has met someone for no strings sex.

He loves her, and will care for her until her last breath, even though she isn’t even aware that he is her husband. He is desperately lonely and lives a very difficult life, but he would never walk away for a free pass to fuck.

Yes I admit this is an exceptional case and some people are unable to practice monogamy but it’s unkind to judge anyone’s choices, especially when you do not know the facts.

I find some of the comments on here deplorable and yes I have judged the OP and several others who have made rather pointed comments, however, I am too much of a gentleman to make my judgements public! "

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By *retty womanWoman
over a year ago

Near Bournemouth


"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions.

For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them?

Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality!

Giving someone else a lesson in morality isn't your job. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll jump on the bandwagon from a male perspective. Married my ex wife, who adored and yes I’m aware it takes two to make things work. But she cheated and subsequently left me for the other guy. Married him and still with him to this day - all be it apparently neither are happy! - karma!! Lol

For me, it wrecked my trust in women. I struggled with life and raising my child 50/50 with his mother. Other females on my life have also cheated... mother, friends partners.. so it’s not just men who cheat!

Yes it wrecks lives, my child says there not effected, but they are. Yes their are bonuses for them, but they also were denied a family and have seen much to put them in risk of following same footsteps.

Don’t cheat! Or if you do...don’t get caught!!!

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By *retty womanWoman
over a year ago

Near Bournemouth


"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging.

Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book. "

That's a very Victorian way of looking at things.

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea


"“All I know is no one deserves to be cheated on and I bet for all the cheaters they know that a good chance the marriage will end, why are you all so desperate to stay married ?

A terminally ill person equally has the right for true love and not getting cheated on too, in fact I’m horrified someone would do that to a loved one”.

My friends wife is terminally ill. She has dementia so he couldn’t explain to her that he has sexual needs as she wouldn’t understand.

She is confused and needs constant care.

He has been faithful and by her side for over 30 years and it’s only in the last 18 months that he has met someone for no strings sex.

He loves her, and will care for her until her last breath, even though she isn’t even aware that he is her husband. He is desperately lonely and lives a very difficult life, but he would never walk away for a free pass to fuck.

Yes I admit this is an exceptional case and some people are unable to practice monogamy but it’s unkind to judge anyone’s choices, especially when you do not know the facts.

I find some of the comments on here deplorable and yes I have judged the OP and several others who have made rather pointed comments, however, I am too much of a gentleman to make my judgements public! "

I still find that appalling, No true gentleman would find that acceptable

If you was suffering with an serious illness the very last thing you actually need is someone betraying you, in any manor you need someone that will put you as an absolute priority

That’s my thoughts with being a lady and Not giving my real judgement either!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"“All I know is no one deserves to be cheated on and I bet for all the cheaters they know that a good chance the marriage will end, why are you all so desperate to stay married ?

A terminally ill person equally has the right for true love and not getting cheated on too, in fact I’m horrified someone would do that to a loved one”.

My friends wife is terminally ill. She has dementia so he couldn’t explain to her that he has sexual needs as she wouldn’t understand.

She is confused and needs constant care.

He has been faithful and by her side for over 30 years and it’s only in the last 18 months that he has met someone for no strings sex.

He loves her, and will care for her until her last breath, even though she isn’t even aware that he is her husband. He is desperately lonely and lives a very difficult life, but he would never walk away for a free pass to fuck.

Yes I admit this is an exceptional case and some people are unable to practice monogamy but it’s unkind to judge anyone’s choices, especially when you do not know the facts.

I find some of the comments on here deplorable and yes I have judged the OP and several others who have made rather pointed comments, however, I am too much of a gentleman to make my judgements public! "

I wonder what the "right thing" to do is in a situation like this. Chuck her in a care home perhaps?

I think most of us can honestly say we wouldn't want to be what we may consider a burden on our loved ones. I think most of us can hold our hands up and say if anything happened to us, we would want our loved ones to continue living life and be as happy as they could be, and I'm sure most have voiced this to our loved ones too.

Yes this is an extreme case, but it happens. This chap has shown great humility to his partner and not given up when an awful lot wouldn't be able to cope.

He is probably doing all she ever asked for and more.

P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please specify the difference......?

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole


"Shoe on the other foot. My so called parents, I've been estranged from them sinse I was 18. I would not piss on them if they we're on fire. Maybe if one or both of them had gone off and had affairs and broken up. I may of had a better childhood. Instead, I had years of arguing, alochic abuse and sexual abuse. If they we're having affairs they may of been happier, and I would not of made home life so crap.

My now ex husband had an affair on me, I'd of done anything to work it through, and kept my marridge. He wanted my to be a stay at home house wife. Cook clean ect, but for him to have an " open relationship" No way! I was his wife of 20 years. That was not happening.

Fast forward 10 years, I'm a swinger. Very happy to meet marreied men. For me it's just sex. No commitments, no attachments. What they do in their private life is upto them. At that point in time, we're 2 consenting adults.

Surely the better scenario with your parents would have been to separate, not have an affair.

You also can’t complain about your ex-husbands infidelity if you are now the one engaging in the destruction of another’s marriage. Relationships are about honesty and respect: an affair is a complete perversion of that. If one wishes to cheat - they should leave their partners and do as they will; without hurting the other.

It’s incredibly simple.... "

I'm not the one engaging in the distruction of a marridge. I'm not an adultress, or having affairs. I'm a swinger have sex with men and woman. If a marreid man chooses to be on a sex sight with out their partners knowledge how am I in the wrong. I'm a swinger. Here just fir the sex. Simple. If yiu dont like it feel free to block us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most.. if not, all of the unsolicited messages I get from my local area are cheating women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Please specify the difference......?"

Between what?

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

I am always amazed at the amount of husbands who tell me the wife cannot have sex anymore. Utter rubbish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it puts me off entering into a relationship. However, their reasons for being unfaithful are of no interest to me.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Infidelity is as old as monogamy. A site like this will make it appear that the percentage of men and women who are unfaithful is far higher than it is in the outside world.

Don't form your views on human relationships based on what you see on fab. Its skewed data.

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

I reluctantly became involved romantically with my best male friend. I knew he'd cheated on his wife 5 times, of which he was quite boastful.

Never took any, ANY, responsibility for the break up of the marriage. He made it quite clear that I had to always say the truth, which he tried to control me with.

After the break up, I worked it out. He thought he was highly attractive, hence these women throwing themselves at him, the wife was a door mat, because she tried to keep the marriage going, but obviously he was shattered when she had given up, and got herself a bf. He really could not cope with that.

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By *uyforyouMan
over a year ago

irvine


"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions.

For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them?

Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! "

Yeee ok, just don't forget that most of the people on here are married, especially man

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

We don't knowingly meet anyone cheating,however we don't slate them on threads.

They don't bother us unless they try to hide it ,as long as they are open on their profile about it,people can choose to meet or avoid.

Sadly some people will cheat even if they have it good at home ,but there are those men and women who would never cheat ,even if things get tough.

I think it's much easier to cheat these days with so many sites available ,but if you go through life believing everyone is the same,you may live a lonely life.

Miss

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By *atalie..Woman
over a year ago

Bolton

I just ended an 8 year relationship because he cheated. He had the best of everything, a swingers relationship, had no reason to cheat but still chose to for reasons only know to him. I think in general if a person thinks that they can get away with it they will do it, and I think people like the chase and excitement of can they get away with it. Unlucky for him I'm better than the C. I. A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions.

For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them?

Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality!

Yeee ok, just don't forget that most of the people on here are married, especially man "

Then I would like most of the men to leave me be if that’s the case. It’s not too much to ask, is it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Shoe on the other foot. My so called parents, I've been estranged from them sinse I was 18. I would not piss on them if they we're on fire. Maybe if one or both of them had gone off and had affairs and broken up. I may of had a better childhood. Instead, I had years of arguing, alochic abuse and sexual abuse. If they we're having affairs they may of been happier, and I would not of made home life so crap.

My now ex husband had an affair on me, I'd of done anything to work it through, and kept my marridge. He wanted my to be a stay at home house wife. Cook clean ect, but for him to have an " open relationship" No way! I was his wife of 20 years. That was not happening.

Fast forward 10 years, I'm a swinger. Very happy to meet marreied men. For me it's just sex. No commitments, no attachments. What they do in their private life is upto them. At that point in time, we're 2 consenting adults. "

I have a wife who supposedly does the cooking and cleaning etc, sadly after my 10-12 hour working day I come home and have to cook the tea for 5 then wash up after , the house gets a quick dust or vacuum every now and then , the grass gets a cut when I do it’s the toilet won’t get cleaned until I make the effort , if we need anything from the shop cos we’ve run out I get a txt to go get it , there are 2 shops within 5 mins walk , if there wasn’t kids involved things may be different for me , sex is average to be fair , but nothing right home about so maybe a bit extra won’t go a miss ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"“All I know is no one deserves to be cheated on and I bet for all the cheaters they know that a good chance the marriage will end, why are you all so desperate to stay married ?

A terminally ill person equally has the right for true love and not getting cheated on too, in fact I’m horrified someone would do that to a loved one”.

My friends wife is terminally ill. She has dementia so he couldn’t explain to her that he has sexual needs as she wouldn’t understand.

She is confused and needs constant care.

He has been faithful and by her side for over 30 years and it’s only in the last 18 months that he has met someone for no strings sex.

He loves her, and will care for her until her last breath, even though she isn’t even aware that he is her husband. He is desperately lonely and lives a very difficult life, but he would never walk away for a free pass to fuck.

Yes I admit this is an exceptional case and some people are unable to practice monogamy but it’s unkind to judge anyone’s choices, especially when you do not know the facts.

I find some of the comments on here deplorable and yes I have judged the OP and several others who have made rather pointed comments, however, I am too much of a gentleman to make my judgements public! "

Yet, you just made your judgements public......

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Preaching morality on a site full of people who lie ...

People preaching morals just makes me laugh..

"

Not all of us lie though.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging.

Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book.

That's a very Victorian way of looking at things."

No it's a truthful way of looking at things. One offs or regular, if done without consent or knowledge from partner it's cheating. Plain and simple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Shoe on the other foot. My so called parents, I've been estranged from them sinse I was 18. I would not piss on them if they we're on fire. Maybe if one or both of them had gone off and had affairs and broken up. I may of had a better childhood. Instead, I had years of arguing, alochic abuse and sexual abuse. If they we're having affairs they may of been happier, and I would not of made home life so crap.

My now ex husband had an affair on me, I'd of done anything to work it through, and kept my marridge. He wanted my to be a stay at home house wife. Cook clean ect, but for him to have an " open relationship" No way! I was his wife of 20 years. That was not happening.

Fast forward 10 years, I'm a swinger. Very happy to meet marreied men. For me it's just sex. No commitments, no attachments. What they do in their private life is upto them. At that point in time, we're 2 consenting adults.

I have a wife who supposedly does the cooking and cleaning etc, sadly after my 10-12 hour working day I come home and have to cook the tea for 5 then wash up after , the house gets a quick dust or vacuum every now and then , the grass gets a cut when I do it’s the toilet won’t get cleaned until I make the effort , if we need anything from the shop cos we’ve run out I get a txt to go get it , there are 2 shops within 5 mins walk , if there wasn’t kids involved things may be different for me , sex is average to be fair , but nothing right home about so maybe a bit extra won’t go a miss ? "

And you stay because??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging.

Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book. "

How are they the same? One is deceitful and the other is with full consent.

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea


"i had two lousy husband's neither looked after me properly.both cheated on me all through the marriage. I was the one who ended it with both. I had a child to each. Both were under 7 when i broke up with them(daughter to first husband was 7 and son to second husband was 6 when i got rid) i managed better on my own. i agree if you are going to cheat leave and let partner find someone who wont cheat on them."

Most are scared, whilst they cheat they feel great, but the real world sucks and often after a split they will be finding themselves homeless and paying for kids and financially struggling is a mugs game

They are also not wanting the kids to learn about what they are up to either so they have a think and summerise It is better to keep head down and play around keep mrs happy enough and everything is rosy. Its basically very calculating

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea


"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging.

Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book.

How are they the same? One is deceitful and the other is with full consent. "

I think either can be if it’s done via deceit but having an affair is basically more emotional I would have thought

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple


"i had two lousy husband's neither looked after me properly.both cheated on me all through the marriage. I was the one who ended it with both. I had a child to each. Both were under 7 when i broke up with them(daughter to first husband was 7 and son to second husband was 6 when i got rid) i managed better on my own. i agree if you are going to cheat leave and let partner find someone who wont cheat on them.

Most are scared, whilst they cheat they feel great, but the real world sucks and often after a split they will be finding themselves homeless and paying for kids and financially struggling is a mugs game

They are also not wanting the kids to learn about what they are up to either so they have a think and summerise It is better to keep head down and play around keep mrs happy enough and everything is rosy. Its basically very calculating "

Definitely

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Most married or partnered people are scared of being single, so they live a lie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging.

Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book.

How are they the same? One is deceitful and the other is with full consent.

I think either can be if it’s done via deceit but having an affair is basically more emotional I would have thought "

Swinging is being open about what you do. It’s not cheating unless a swinger goes behind their partners back.

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By *ntimatediscretionMan
over a year ago

eaglescliffe

nee nor nee nor.... call the morality cops...

this is a swinging site, meet for sex with likeminded people... if you want emotional attachment join e harmony or find my sould mate . com or whatever

the meet tonight has couples asking for 5 men gang bangs,,, fuck me blidfolded and couples who want tied up and arse fucked.

if you are seeking a sould mate with similar sexual interests and desires all the best,,, if you are seeking a discreet quick fuck, crack on... emotional attachment, crack on...

my mates wife has cancer,,, he has his sexual needs and meets discreetly for sex... doesnt want to leave his wife, doesnt want emotional attachment... crack on... i am divorced and dont want a relationship... who are any of you to judge anyone else... if someone chooses to cheat, thats up to them... they have their reasons... blessed is the word of the loed for he who repents his sins will be welcolend into the kindome of heaven,,,, or stoned to death of in other religion.... its a fuck site... meet people with similar tastes... fuck and does r long term friendship and swapping... if you knoe what you want... go fill your boots,,, but for christs sake dont judge,,, or blame your emotional fragile state on someone who cheated on you....

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions.

For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them?

Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! "

Gotcha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"nee nor nee nor.... call the morality cops...

this is a swinging site, meet for sex with likeminded people... if you want emotional attachment join e harmony or find my sould mate . com or whatever

the meet tonight has couples asking for 5 men gang bangs,,, fuck me blidfolded and couples who want tied up and arse fucked.

if you are seeking a sould mate with similar sexual interests and desires all the best,,, if you are seeking a discreet quick fuck, crack on... emotional attachment, crack on...

my mates wife has cancer,,, he has his sexual needs and meets discreetly for sex... doesnt want to leave his wife, doesnt want emotional attachment... crack on... i am divorced and dont want a relationship... who are any of you to judge anyone else... if someone chooses to cheat, thats up to them... they have their reasons... blessed is the word of the loed for he who repents his sins will be welcolend into the kindome of heaven,,,, or stoned to death of in other religion.... its a fuck site... meet people with similar tastes... fuck and does r long term friendship and swapping... if you knoe what you want... go fill your boots,,, but for christs sake dont judge,,, or blame your emotional fragile state on someone who cheated on you.... "

I think most of us don’t give a shit if someone is cheating, just be honest about it from the start and don’t bring innocent people into it. I’m fed up of being lied to if I’m honest. Not happened for a while but it was annoying to say the least.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

I dont think I could have a real relationship with someone that worked away after seeing what happens on here it's a real eye opener that's for sure.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ntimatediscretionMan
over a year ago

eaglescliffe

this moral dileam reminds me of the true story of the woman in a coma, for years no movemet or response, finaly dr told hubby to try some gentle oral sex in an attempt to wake the wife...

a few minutes later wife passed away sadly,,, dr asked hubby what happened...

hubby said i think she struggled to breath with my cock in her mouth ....

am here all week ladies and gents,,,have you heard the one about....

get over it,,, if you want to fuck other people but examine their life story before hand crack on....

so someone got fat, someone lost interest... move on...

to the people discussing the carer seeking sexual relief whilst partner is respite care,,, oh how judgemental you are with your morality...

and there you are seeking somone to anally fist? come off it... meet people who are similar in circumstance... married men usually cant make a night of it.. so fuck and go... well guess hes married, but if thats what you are into... well does it matter to you????

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont think I could have a real relationship with someone that worked away after seeing what happens on here it's a real eye opener that's for sure. "

I work away and I never cheated on my ex husband.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"nee nor nee nor.... call the morality cops...

this is a swinging site, meet for sex with likeminded people... if you want emotional attachment join e harmony or find my sould mate . com or whatever

the meet tonight has couples asking for 5 men gang bangs,,, fuck me blidfolded and couples who want tied up and arse fucked.

if you are seeking a sould mate with similar sexual interests and desires all the best,,, if you are seeking a discreet quick fuck, crack on... emotional attachment, crack on...

my mates wife has cancer,,, he has his sexual needs and meets discreetly for sex... doesnt want to leave his wife, doesnt want emotional attachment... crack on... i am divorced and dont want a relationship... who are any of you to judge anyone else... if someone chooses to cheat, thats up to them... they have their reasons... blessed is the word of the loed for he who repents his sins will be welcolend into the kindome of heaven,,,, or stoned to death of in other religion.... its a fuck site... meet people with similar tastes... fuck and does r long term friendship and swapping... if you knoe what you want... go fill your boots,,, but for christs sake dont judge,,, or blame your emotional fragile state on someone who cheated on you.... "

Nobody's talking about emotional attachment. Like I said, being on a sex site does not immediately strip one of all morals. This is not some sort of prehistoric orgy where everyone has gone insane with lust and thrown all reason to the wind. If you want to have random, nsa sex that's fine but lying to your partner about it, who you have promised to be true to by entering into a relationship with them, has always been and will always remain W. R. O. N. G.

To your mate with the sick wife - he shouldn't have married her if he wasn't prepared for this eventuality. While he couldn't have known that this was going to happen, the words say: "forsaking all other, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.". Or does making vows not mean jack shit anymore?

Not that I'm going to take seriously the opinion of an actual adult attempting to debate using the words "nee nor nee nor" anyway

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *retty womanWoman
over a year ago

Near Bournemouth


"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging.

Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book.

That's a very Victorian way of looking at things.

No it's a truthful way of looking at things. One offs or regular, if done without consent or knowledge from partner it's cheating. Plain and simple. "

So swinging and cheating is the same thing in your book?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging.

Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book.

How are they the same? One is deceitful and the other is with full consent. "

I was referring to those "swinging" without their partners knowledge or consent

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging.

Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book.

That's a very Victorian way of looking at things.

No it's a truthful way of looking at things. One offs or regular, if done without consent or knowledge from partner it's cheating. Plain and simple.

So swinging and cheating is the same thing in your book?"
it's the same if your partner hasn't given consent or doesn't know you are doing it. Please read my post.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fucking hell!

I’m now getting personal abusive messages in my inbox for my opinion on this thread.

Enough is enough.

Grow up & play nicely!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull


"nee nor nee nor.... call the morality cops...

this is a swinging site, meet for sex with likeminded people... if you want emotional attachment join e harmony or find my sould mate . com or whatever

the meet tonight has couples asking for 5 men gang bangs,,, fuck me blidfolded and couples who want tied up and arse fucked.

if you are seeking a sould mate with similar sexual interests and desires all the best,,, if you are seeking a discreet quick fuck, crack on... emotional attachment, crack on...

my mates wife has cancer,,, he has his sexual needs and meets discreetly for sex... doesnt want to leave his wife, doesnt want emotional attachment... crack on... i am divorced and dont want a relationship... who are any of you to judge anyone else... if someone chooses to cheat, thats up to them... they have their reasons... blessed is the word of the loed for he who repents his sins will be welcolend into the kindome of heaven,,,, or stoned to death of in other religion.... its a fuck site... meet people with similar tastes... fuck and does r long term friendship and swapping... if you knoe what you want... go fill your boots,,, but for christs sake dont judge,,, or blame your emotional fragile state on someone who cheated on you....

Nobody's talking about emotional attachment. Like I said, being on a sex site does not immediately strip one of all morals. This is not some sort of prehistoric orgy where everyone has gone insane with lust and thrown all reason to the wind. If you want to have random, nsa sex that's fine but lying to your partner about it, who you have promised to be true to by entering into a relationship with them, has always been and will always remain W. R. O. N. G.

To your mate with the sick wife - he shouldn't have married her if he wasn't prepared for this eventuality. While he couldn't have known that this was going to happen, the words say: "forsaking all other, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.". Or does making vows not mean jack shit anymore?

Not that I'm going to take seriously the opinion of an actual adult attempting to debate using the words "nee nor nee nor" anyway "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *areToBe43Man
over a year ago

Surrey

That is a very simplistic way of looking at things. What happens when you’ve worked for years to try to improve things to no avail but can’t leave because there are children involved?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

That's horrible. This thread is here for people to express their opinions, no need for personal attacks via inbox. Report the messages and block the users.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fucking hell!

I’m now getting personal abusive messages in my inbox for my opinion on this thread.

Enough is enough.

Grow up & play nicely! "

Me too!!!

Has completely put me off this site and i’m seriously considering leaving it as a result. Unfortunately there are some very unpleasant and narrow minded people around.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"nee nor nee nor.... call the morality cops...

this is a swinging site, meet for sex with likeminded people... if you want emotional attachment join e harmony or find my sould mate . com or whatever

the meet tonight has couples asking for 5 men gang bangs,,, fuck me blidfolded and couples who want tied up and arse fucked.

if you are seeking a sould mate with similar sexual interests and desires all the best,,, if you are seeking a discreet quick fuck, crack on... emotional attachment, crack on...

my mates wife has cancer,,, he has his sexual needs and meets discreetly for sex... doesnt want to leave his wife, doesnt want emotional attachment... crack on... i am divorced and dont want a relationship... who are any of you to judge anyone else... if someone chooses to cheat, thats up to them... they have their reasons... blessed is the word of the loed for he who repents his sins will be welcolend into the kindome of heaven,,,, or stoned to death of in other religion.... its a fuck site... meet people with similar tastes... fuck and does r long term friendship and swapping... if you knoe what you want... go fill your boots,,, but for christs sake dont judge,,, or blame your emotional fragile state on someone who cheated on you....

Nobody's talking about emotional attachment. Like I said, being on a sex site does not immediately strip one of all morals. This is not some sort of prehistoric orgy where everyone has gone insane with lust and thrown all reason to the wind. If you want to have random, nsa sex that's fine but lying to your partner about it, who you have promised to be true to by entering into a relationship with them, has always been and will always remain W. R. O. N. G.

To your mate with the sick wife - he shouldn't have married her if he wasn't prepared for this eventuality. While he couldn't have known that this was going to happen, the words say: "forsaking all other, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.". Or does making vows not mean jack shit anymore?

Not that I'm going to take seriously the opinion of an actual adult attempting to debate using the words "nee nor nee nor" anyway "

OK, so you’re quoting “forsaking all others” in wedding vows? Surely that means swinging is horribly wrong in YOUR opinion too? And divorce? Promising to be together forever - do you therefore think then you must stay married forever whatever the circumstances?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ine Time FontayneMan
over a year ago

Bracknell

So true and if you could meet someone in the same situation who has a shared outlook and experience ...... what's not to like ?

Have fun guys and don't be judged !

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"nee nor nee nor.... call the morality cops...

this is a swinging site, meet for sex with likeminded people... if you want emotional attachment join e harmony or find my sould mate . com or whatever

the meet tonight has couples asking for 5 men gang bangs,,, fuck me blidfolded and couples who want tied up and arse fucked.

if you are seeking a sould mate with similar sexual interests and desires all the best,,, if you are seeking a discreet quick fuck, crack on... emotional attachment, crack on...

my mates wife has cancer,,, he has his sexual needs and meets discreetly for sex... doesnt want to leave his wife, doesnt want emotional attachment... crack on... i am divorced and dont want a relationship... who are any of you to judge anyone else... if someone chooses to cheat, thats up to them... they have their reasons... blessed is the word of the loed for he who repents his sins will be welcolend into the kindome of heaven,,,, or stoned to death of in other religion.... its a fuck site... meet people with similar tastes... fuck and does r long term friendship and swapping... if you knoe what you want... go fill your boots,,, but for christs sake dont judge,,, or blame your emotional fragile state on someone who cheated on you....

Nobody's talking about emotional attachment. Like I said, being on a sex site does not immediately strip one of all morals. This is not some sort of prehistoric orgy where everyone has gone insane with lust and thrown all reason to the wind. If you want to have random, nsa sex that's fine but lying to your partner about it, who you have promised to be true to by entering into a relationship with them, has always been and will always remain W. R. O. N. G.

To your mate with the sick wife - he shouldn't have married her if he wasn't prepared for this eventuality. While he couldn't have known that this was going to happen, the words say: "forsaking all other, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.". Or does making vows not mean jack shit anymore?

Not that I'm going to take seriously the opinion of an actual adult attempting to debate using the words "nee nor nee nor" anyway

OK, so you’re quoting “forsaking all others” in wedding vows? Surely that means swinging is horribly wrong in YOUR opinion too? And divorce? Promising to be together forever - do you therefore think then you must stay married forever whatever the circumstances?"

No of course not, now you're twisting my words. Reread my original post and then read it again. If I thought swinging was wrong I wouldn't be on a website called FabSWINGERS now would I? I think swinging is perfectly acceptable as long as both people in the relationship are comfortable and happy with the arrangement.

My point with the vows was that if you've said them then you should be prepared to carry them through. Obviously people are allowed to get a divorce it things aren't working out, but WHILE you're married you should respect the sanctity of it and respect your spouse enough to fulfil your promises to them. If you BOTH agree that one or both of you will sleep with other people then that's obviously fair enough. But all these people bringing up personal stories of their friends caring for their spouses - that's LITERALLY what they promised to do. If you're not prepared to stick by your spouse during the worst of times should you even have married them at all?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fucking hell!

I’m now getting personal abusive messages in my inbox for my opinion on this thread.

Enough is enough.

Grow up & play nicely!

I have had insulting messages from bellabx in my inbox, a very unattractive message and individual who has blocked me so I can't reply, oh the joy of being a keyboard warrior

Typing on a phone led to a couple of typos , calling personal names and offensive comments shows why an emotionally fragile individual with likely personal mental health issues shouldn't be using sites for free thinking adults"

I’ve just had a message from a couple telling me I’m “a fat and desperate slapper”. Really? Because I have a different opinion?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Fucking hell!

I’m now getting personal abusive messages in my inbox for my opinion on this thread.

Enough is enough.

Grow up & play nicely!

Me too!!!

Has completely put me off this site and i’m seriously considering leaving it as a result. Unfortunately there are some very unpleasant and narrow minded people around. "

Sending abusive messages is unacceptable but not everybody who disagrees with you is narrow minded. You can be open minded and still have a good moral code.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gotta love the term deserve in all this. Define deserve? We all have choices, you make your own luck in life. Some people are better at making choices than others

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"nee nor nee nor.... call the morality cops...

this is a swinging site, meet for sex with likeminded people... if you want emotional attachment join e harmony or find my sould mate . com or whatever

the meet tonight has couples asking for 5 men gang bangs,,, fuck me blidfolded and couples who want tied up and arse fucked.

if you are seeking a sould mate with similar sexual interests and desires all the best,,, if you are seeking a discreet quick fuck, crack on... emotional attachment, crack on...

my mates wife has cancer,,, he has his sexual needs and meets discreetly for sex... doesnt want to leave his wife, doesnt want emotional attachment... crack on... i am divorced and dont want a relationship... who are any of you to judge anyone else... if someone chooses to cheat, thats up to them... they have their reasons... blessed is the word of the loed for he who repents his sins will be welcolend into the kindome of heaven,,,, or stoned to death of in other religion.... its a fuck site... meet people with similar tastes... fuck and does r long term friendship and swapping... if you knoe what you want... go fill your boots,,, but for christs sake dont judge,,, or blame your emotional fragile state on someone who cheated on you....

Nobody's talking about emotional attachment. Like I said, being on a sex site does not immediately strip one of all morals. This is not some sort of prehistoric orgy where everyone has gone insane with lust and thrown all reason to the wind. If you want to have random, nsa sex that's fine but lying to your partner about it, who you have promised to be true to by entering into a relationship with them, has always been and will always remain W. R. O. N. G.

To your mate with the sick wife - he shouldn't have married her if he wasn't prepared for this eventuality. While he couldn't have known that this was going to happen, the words say: "forsaking all other, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.". Or does making vows not mean jack shit anymore?

Not that I'm going to take seriously the opinion of an actual adult attempting to debate using the words "nee nor nee nor" anyway

OK, so you’re quoting “forsaking all others” in wedding vows? Surely that means swinging is horribly wrong in YOUR opinion too? And divorce? Promising to be together forever - do you therefore think then you must stay married forever whatever the circumstances?

No of course not, now you're twisting my words. Reread my original post and then read it again. If I thought swinging was wrong I wouldn't be on a website called FabSWINGERS now would I? I think swinging is perfectly acceptable as long as both people in the relationship are comfortable and happy with the arrangement.

My point with the vows was that if you've said them then you should be prepared to carry them through. Obviously people are allowed to get a divorce it things aren't working out, but WHILE you're married you should respect the sanctity of it and respect your spouse enough to fulfil your promises to them. If you BOTH agree that one or both of you will sleep with other people then that's obviously fair enough. But all these people bringing up personal stories of their friends caring for their spouses - that's LITERALLY what they promised to do. If you're not prepared to stick by your spouse during the worst of times should you even have married them at all? "

This doesn’t answer the “forsaking all others” vow.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"nee nor nee nor.... call the morality cops...

this is a swinging site, meet for sex with likeminded people... if you want emotional attachment join e harmony or find my sould mate . com or whatever

the meet tonight has couples asking for 5 men gang bangs,,, fuck me blidfolded and couples who want tied up and arse fucked.

if you are seeking a sould mate with similar sexual interests and desires all the best,,, if you are seeking a discreet quick fuck, crack on... emotional attachment, crack on...

my mates wife has cancer,,, he has his sexual needs and meets discreetly for sex... doesnt want to leave his wife, doesnt want emotional attachment... crack on... i am divorced and dont want a relationship... who are any of you to judge anyone else... if someone chooses to cheat, thats up to them... they have their reasons... blessed is the word of the loed for he who repents his sins will be welcolend into the kindome of heaven,,,, or stoned to death of in other religion.... its a fuck site... meet people with similar tastes... fuck and does r long term friendship and swapping... if you knoe what you want... go fill your boots,,, but for christs sake dont judge,,, or blame your emotional fragile state on someone who cheated on you....

Nobody's talking about emotional attachment. Like I said, being on a sex site does not immediately strip one of all morals. This is not some sort of prehistoric orgy where everyone has gone insane with lust and thrown all reason to the wind. If you want to have random, nsa sex that's fine but lying to your partner about it, who you have promised to be true to by entering into a relationship with them, has always been and will always remain W. R. O. N. G.

To your mate with the sick wife - he shouldn't have married her if he wasn't prepared for this eventuality. While he couldn't have known that this was going to happen, the words say: "forsaking all other, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.". Or does making vows not mean jack shit anymore?

Not that I'm going to take seriously the opinion of an actual adult attempting to debate using the words "nee nor nee nor" anyway

OK, so you’re quoting “forsaking all others” in wedding vows? Surely that means swinging is horribly wrong in YOUR opinion too? And divorce? Promising to be together forever - do you therefore think then you must stay married forever whatever the circumstances?

No of course not, now you're twisting my words. Reread my original post and then read it again. If I thought swinging was wrong I wouldn't be on a website called FabSWINGERS now would I? I think swinging is perfectly acceptable as long as both people in the relationship are comfortable and happy with the arrangement.

My point with the vows was that if you've said them then you should be prepared to carry them through. Obviously people are allowed to get a divorce it things aren't working out, but WHILE you're married you should respect the sanctity of it and respect your spouse enough to fulfil your promises to them. If you BOTH agree that one or both of you will sleep with other people then that's obviously fair enough. But all these people bringing up personal stories of their friends caring for their spouses - that's LITERALLY what they promised to do. If you're not prepared to stick by your spouse during the worst of times should you even have married them at all?

This doesn’t answer the “forsaking all others” vow.

"

Yes it does, you're just clutching at straws now.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"nee nor nee nor.... call the morality cops...

this is a swinging site, meet for sex with likeminded people... if you want emotional attachment join e harmony or find my sould mate . com or whatever

the meet tonight has couples asking for 5 men gang bangs,,, fuck me blidfolded and couples who want tied up and arse fucked.

if you are seeking a sould mate with similar sexual interests and desires all the best,,, if you are seeking a discreet quick fuck, crack on... emotional attachment, crack on...

my mates wife has cancer,,, he has his sexual needs and meets discreetly for sex... doesnt want to leave his wife, doesnt want emotional attachment... crack on... i am divorced and dont want a relationship... who are any of you to judge anyone else... if someone chooses to cheat, thats up to them... they have their reasons... blessed is the word of the loed for he who repents his sins will be welcolend into the kindome of heaven,,,, or stoned to death of in other religion.... its a fuck site... meet people with similar tastes... fuck and does r long term friendship and swapping... if you knoe what you want... go fill your boots,,, but for christs sake dont judge,,, or blame your emotional fragile state on someone who cheated on you....

Nobody's talking about emotional attachment. Like I said, being on a sex site does not immediately strip one of all morals. This is not some sort of prehistoric orgy where everyone has gone insane with lust and thrown all reason to the wind. If you want to have random, nsa sex that's fine but lying to your partner about it, who you have promised to be true to by entering into a relationship with them, has always been and will always remain W. R. O. N. G.

To your mate with the sick wife - he shouldn't have married her if he wasn't prepared for this eventuality. While he couldn't have known that this was going to happen, the words say: "forsaking all other, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.". Or does making vows not mean jack shit anymore?

Not that I'm going to take seriously the opinion of an actual adult attempting to debate using the words "nee nor nee nor" anyway

OK, so you’re quoting “forsaking all others” in wedding vows? Surely that means swinging is horribly wrong in YOUR opinion too? And divorce? Promising to be together forever - do you therefore think then you must stay married forever whatever the circumstances?

No of course not, now you're twisting my words. Reread my original post and then read it again. If I thought swinging was wrong I wouldn't be on a website called FabSWINGERS now would I? I think swinging is perfectly acceptable as long as both people in the relationship are comfortable and happy with the arrangement.

My point with the vows was that if you've said them then you should be prepared to carry them through. Obviously people are allowed to get a divorce it things aren't working out, but WHILE you're married you should respect the sanctity of it and respect your spouse enough to fulfil your promises to them. If you BOTH agree that one or both of you will sleep with other people then that's obviously fair enough. But all these people bringing up personal stories of their friends caring for their spouses - that's LITERALLY what they promised to do. If you're not prepared to stick by your spouse during the worst of times should you even have married them at all?

This doesn’t answer the “forsaking all others” vow.

Yes it does, you're just clutching at straws now. "

It doesn’t actually, but I’m giving up now. I know I’m hitting my head against a brick wall.

I don’t care if I’m banned. I think abusive people (not you, I hasten yo add) should be named. And how, even thought I’ve blocked them, are they still able to send me abusive messages? Bit suspicious!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *homnessMan
over a year ago

Inverness


"You made a lot of assumptions, the first being that the person having additional sex is unhappy with any aspect of their relationship. That’s not the case most of the time."

Very true, I am a married/attached man and I do meet solo as well as as together.

That doesn't mean we haven't got good relationship or good sex life.

We understand each other and we know we both have fantasies. It is all about fulfilling them and having great fun.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so glad I can't cheat.... Can't find one woman to be with yet alone a second.... So it's kind of impossible to cheat.

On top of that I could never do such a thing... I'm such an honest and loyal person and wouldn't cope with the guilt it would destroy me.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You made a lot of assumptions, the first being that the person having additional sex is unhappy with any aspect of their relationship. That’s not the case most of the time.

Very true, I am a married/attached man and I do meet solo as well as as together.

That doesn't mean we haven't got good relationship or good sex life.

We understand each other and we know we both have fantasies. It is all about fulfilling them and having great fun.

"

Where did you get that from? Literally nobody said that swingers have unhappy relationships. This thread is about cheaters, not legitimate swingers.

Not gonna lie I'm getting a bit sick of people just picking bits out of my argument out of context and not seeing what I'm saying on the whole.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Theres a differance of having an affair and swinging.

Cheating is cheating. No difference between the two in my book.

How are they the same? One is deceitful and the other is with full consent.

I was referring to those "swinging" without their partners knowledge or consent"

I was a bit confused as I thought you liked the idea of a swinging relationship. I get you now.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I have removed some comments.

Please don't name others on the forums or C&P messages on here, both will get you a time out.

And please do report any abusive messages you get to Admin.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

Im a cheater....it cost me the love of my life and £400 grand. I've learnt my lesson the hard way.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea


"Im a cheater....it cost me the love of my life and £400 grand. I've learnt my lesson the hard way. "

Sounds like a AA meeting introduction

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was cheated on by my ex, only the once and she was so sorry for doing it. I tried to forgive her and move and for a few months I was just about able to, but then I found out that she had been texting the guy again so that put an end to the relationship.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *jEuphoriaCouple
over a year ago

north kent


"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions.

For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them?

Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! "

My piece of shit ex, constantly cheated, while we were doing this. I think, because we swung together and he had my permission, it took the edge of it. I think he got a kick out of being ‘naughty’ behind my back.

He’s now with a serial cheat also, so good riddance to them, they will never trust each other.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"nee nor nee nor.... call the morality cops...

this is a swinging site, meet for sex with likeminded people... if you want emotional attachment join e harmony or find my sould mate . com or whatever

the meet tonight has couples asking for 5 men gang bangs,,, fuck me blidfolded and couples who want tied up and arse fucked.

if you are seeking a sould mate with similar sexual interests and desires all the best,,, if you are seeking a discreet quick fuck, crack on... emotional attachment, crack on...

my mates wife has cancer,,, he has his sexual needs and meets discreetly for sex... doesnt want to leave his wife, doesnt want emotional attachment... crack on... i am divorced and dont want a relationship... who are any of you to judge anyone else... if someone chooses to cheat, thats up to them... they have their reasons... blessed is the word of the loed for he who repents his sins will be welcolend into the kindome of heaven,,,, or stoned to death of in other religion.... its a fuck site... meet people with similar tastes... fuck and does r long term friendship and swapping... if you knoe what you want... go fill your boots,,, but for christs sake dont judge,,, or blame your emotional fragile state on someone who cheated on you.... "

A man cheats when his wife has cancer. I'm judging him so much!!!!

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

It has surprised me and my partner how many people are cheating in this game. We have met many of all genders, mainly in clubs. And I guess is seems more shocking the amout of women who are, as if society expects better of women than men. But then sex based expectations is another debate. It's to be honest a little bit shocking. But we have both lived and we know the world is not black and white. At the end of the day life is complex and we don't know people's back ground and circumstances. But we do know that the club is a judgement free place and people's personal life is not our circus or our problem. But I pertically have found this reality difficult in this game. My ex wife lied, cheated and broke my heart. So I know the pain it causes but I also know not everyone is my ex wife and not everyones life is my life. Simply it's non of my business and who I am I to judge? Take the people I meet as I find them. And of course some people are just dicks, they often reveal them self pretty fast.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve heard all the excuses, and that’s just what they are.

Cheating is deceit no matter how you paint it, relationships in whatever form are based on trust and respect so it’s impossible to cheat and still claim the moral high ground based on “family” and “children”.

You’re just trying to justify deceit.

People make mistakes, we are apes after all with instincts, but knowingly arranging an affair in whatever form that takes without informing your partner, is deceitful as it’s premeditated.

Nancy"

Blimey Nancy! Love that post.

As always threads like these are a touchy subject for many with good reason. I have contributed to these before, but this time I am going to reveal something a step further...

Very much related to Fab and forums especially:

Over the years on many occasions I have witnessed whenever there were major problems/issues "cheaters" were right at the centre of it. Still goes on to certain extent because forums are full of cheaters. It's common knowledge for those that have been on here for a long time, but newbies often find out when they have had a negative/bad experience/encounter.

Not all cheaters do it because many go about their own business, but a few repeat offenders enjoy causing destruction. Obviously they don't stay in their own lanes for private life/relationships so they have the need to meddle causing problems for others online. Must be some weird fetish they have, but not the kinky fun the rest of us like to indulge in.

Why/how do they get away with it I hear you ask!? They blend in with the crowd. Known as "schemers" having a common goal/purpose means a few Fabbers turn a blind eye and therefore become groupies/friends...

How do the rest of us know this!? Schemers, cheaters, impulsive liars, sycophants etc etc when they form a group/bond it is only a matter of time that becomes toxic/volatile. Sooner or later things erupt and a few of the schemers become "squealers" if you happen to be connected to enough people on here you hear the stories... and think my God is that what people joined to do on here! The other way it becomes common knowledge is because the drama/politics dirty laundry is splattered all over the forums. It mostly remains in the archives unless it is seriously extreme to the point it get's removed.

I know life is all about chances/opportunities and looking for the good in people, but can you ever truly trust a cheater!? In other words an expert game player. If they can trick "loved ones" partners/families what do you think they will do to strangers... anyway there is my bit to shed some light on the matter from a different point of view.

Time to get a wiggle on and enjoy the glorious sunshine. Have a lovely weekend Fabbers

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve heard all the excuses, and that’s just what they are.

Cheating is deceit no matter how you paint it, relationships in whatever form are based on trust and respect so it’s impossible to cheat and still claim the moral high ground based on “family” and “children”.

You’re just trying to justify deceit.

People make mistakes, we are apes after all with instincts, but knowingly arranging an affair in whatever form that takes without informing your partner, is deceitful as it’s premeditated.

Nancy

Blimey Nancy! Love that post.

As always threads like these are a touchy subject for many with good reason. I have contributed to these before, but this time I am going to reveal something a step further...

Very much related to Fab and forums especially:

Over the years on many occasions I have witnessed whenever there were major problems/issues "cheaters" were right at the centre of it. Still goes on to certain extent because forums are full of cheaters. It's common knowledge for those that have been on here for a long time, but newbies often find out when they have had a negative/bad experience/encounter.

Not all cheaters do it because many go about their own business, but a few repeat offenders enjoy causing destruction. Obviously they don't stay in their own lanes for private life/relationships so they have the need to meddle causing problems for others online. Must be some weird fetish they have, but not the kinky fun the rest of us like to indulge in.

Why/how do they get away with it I hear you ask!? They blend in with the crowd. Known as "schemers" having a common goal/purpose means a few Fabbers turn a blind eye and therefore become groupies/friends...

How do the rest of us know this!? Schemers, cheaters, impulsive liars, sycophants etc etc when they form a group/bond it is only a matter of time that becomes toxic/volatile. Sooner or later things erupt and a few of the schemers become "squealers" if you happen to be connected to enough people on here you hear the stories... and think my God is that what people joined to do on here! The other way it becomes common knowledge is because the drama/politics dirty laundry is splattered all over the forums. It mostly remains in the archives unless it is seriously extreme to the point it get's removed.

I know life is all about chances/opportunities and looking for the good in people, but can you ever truly trust a cheater!? In other words an expert game player. If they can trick "loved ones" partners/families what do you think they will do to strangers... anyway there is my bit to shed some light on the matter from a different point of view.

Time to get a wiggle on and enjoy the glorious sunshine. Have a lovely weekend Fabbers "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One thing I've concluded about fabbers, yes it's generalised but forumites tend to be the most judgemental group of self confirmed open-minded individuals I've mingled with. It's worrying.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals..

Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"One thing I've concluded about fabbers, yes it's generalised but forumites tend to be the most judgemental group of self confirmed open-minded individuals I've mingled with. It's worrying. "

I’m open minded with pretty much most things but lying and being deceitful I draw the line at.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals..

Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps..."

How can it be classed as cheating if you are both doing it together. There is no deceit.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *orrow my wifeCouple
over a year ago

Brighton


"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals..

Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps..."

Very true. We are all cheating to some extent ... Quoting wedding vows on here did make me giggle as I think we all are breaking those???

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/04/19 12:37:07]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside


"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions.

For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them?

Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! "

unless these folk directly message you asking too meet you i dont see how its your business to lecture or dish out lessons to anyone???? and even still then, how does their business affect you? the gall of you!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals..

Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps..."

Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat.

Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea


"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals..

Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps...

Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat.

Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals..

Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps...

Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat.

Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given. "

Cheating may not always be decetful. If marriage vows are broken, does that not constitute cheating even if permission is given? Think in a Court of law this would be the case. There's a few in here who will know that better than me and may correct me on that point.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals..

Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps...

Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat.

Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given.

Cheating may not always be decetful. If marriage vows are broken, does that not constitute cheating even if permission is given? Think in a Court of law this would be the case. There's a few in here who will know that better than me and may correct me on that point."

Depends on your vows. Some don’t use most of the traditional ones. I got married by Elvis In Vegas and was definitely no ‘obey’ etc in there. Not married anymore but we wouldn’t have been breaking any if we were and swinging.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions.

For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them?

Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality! "

Cant believe your on a swinging site and your judging other people, thats hilarious!!!

Can single people actually swing or is it just having sex with loads of different people???

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals..

Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps...

Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat.

Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given.

Cheating may not always be decetful. If marriage vows are broken, does that not constitute cheating even if permission is given? Think in a Court of law this would be the case. There's a few in here who will know that better than me and may correct me on that point.

Depends on your vows. Some don’t use most of the traditional ones. I got married by Elvis In Vegas and was definitely no ‘obey’ etc in there. Not married anymore but we wouldn’t have been breaking any if we were and swinging. "

Elvis is none existent so may the certificate was too

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions.

For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them?

Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality!

Cant believe your on a swinging site and your judging other people, thats hilarious!!!

Can single people actually swing or is it just having sex with loads of different people??? "

Apparently not, then again most activity on here isn't anything to do with swinging, it's a swing site in name but not in practice one can easily argue.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals..

Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps...

Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat.

Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given.

Cheating may not always be decetful. If marriage vows are broken, does that not constitute cheating even if permission is given? Think in a Court of law this would be the case. There's a few in here who will know that better than me and may correct me on that point.

Depends on your vows. Some don’t use most of the traditional ones. I got married by Elvis In Vegas and was definitely no ‘obey’ etc in there. Not married anymore but we wouldn’t have been breaking any if we were and swinging.

Elvis is none existent so may the certificate was too "

It was definitely witnessed by a register. I got divorced legally last year so it was real.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals..

Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps...

Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat.

Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given.

Cheating may not always be decetful. If marriage vows are broken, does that not constitute cheating even if permission is given? Think in a Court of law this would be the case. There's a few in here who will know that better than me and may correct me on that point."

I’ll reply here what I just replied to your question asking me, Midas, if I knew (it’s not my area of specialty mind so these are my thoughts on initial logical thinking):

Legally marriage is the union of assets; not a contract stipulating how you live your life and thus who you have sex with. You can break the contract (divorce) on the grounds of adultery, sex out of wedlock with a member of the opposite sex (so that’s between a man and a woman solely in the eyes of the law) however if you’ve lived together as a couple for 6 months after you found out about it you cannot cite adultery as a reason for divorce so given the huge issues with using sex out of wedlock as a reason for divorce the fact there’s been a provision of consent if someone is swinging then it’s highly unlikely it would be considered as a breach of marriage contract. So semantically I’d view cheating as already stated by others as being a lack of consent, and not enshrined in legal contract of marriage - especially as it appears sex with the same sex out of wedlock looks not to be grounds for adultery anyway!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals..

Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps...

Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat.

Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given.

Cheating may not always be decetful. If marriage vows are broken, does that not constitute cheating even if permission is given? Think in a Court of law this would be the case. There's a few in here who will know that better than me and may correct me on that point.

Depends on your vows. Some don’t use most of the traditional ones. I got married by Elvis In Vegas and was definitely no ‘obey’ etc in there. Not married anymore but we wouldn’t have been breaking any if we were and swinging.

Elvis is none existent so may the certificate was too

It was definitely witnessed by a register. I got divorced legally last year so it was real. "

*registrar

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ine Time FontayneMan
over a year ago

Bracknell


"One thing I've concluded about fabbers, yes it's generalised but forumites tend to be the most judgemental group of self confirmed open-minded individuals I've mingled with. It's worrying. "

So true

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions.

For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them?

Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality!

Cant believe your on a swinging site and your judging other people, thats hilarious!!!

Can single people actually swing or is it just having sex with loads of different people???

Apparently not, then again most activity on here isn't anything to do with swinging, it's a swing site in name but not in practice one can easily argue."

Thats because most spend there time on here thinking they have the right to judge other people lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The amount of attached/married men (and I'm sure, to some extent, women) on here without their partners' knowledge is enough to give me a lifetime of trust issues!! I feel like I genuinely wouldn't feel comfortable being in a relationship anytime soon knowing how easy it is for people to cheat and how easily they're able to justify their actions.

For me it's simple - if you're not happy with any aspect of your relationship either talk it through or break up with the person. Don't betray the person you've promised to love and respect just because they won't do that one thing you've seen in a porno somewhere or because you have a fantasy of a "dirty little slut on the side". If you're not able to talk about your fantasies with your partner should you even be with them?

Oh and one more thing - I can't stand when cheaters have the gall to put "yes I'm a cheater but don't judge/lecture me on it" on their profiles. As someone who had their childhood directly affected by cheating, you can be damn sure I'm gonna give you a lesson in morality!

Cant believe your on a swinging site and your judging other people, thats hilarious!!!

Can single people actually swing or is it just having sex with loads of different people???

Apparently not, then again most activity on here isn't anything to do with swinging, it's a swing site in name but not in practice one can easily argue.

Thats because most spend there time on here thinking they have the right to judge other people lol"

Was your previous comment not also judgemental? The tone would have suggested it was more than an opinion.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals..

Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps...

Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat.

Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given.

Cheating may not always be decetful. If marriage vows are broken, does that not constitute cheating even if permission is given? Think in a Court of law this would be the case. There's a few in here who will know that better than me and may correct me on that point.

I’ll reply here what I just replied to your question asking me, Midas, if I knew (it’s not my area of specialty mind so these are my thoughts on initial logical thinking):

Legally marriage is the union of assets; not a contract stipulating how you live your life and thus who you have sex with. You can break the contract (divorce) on the grounds of adultery, sex out of wedlock with a member of the opposite sex (so that’s between a man and a woman solely in the eyes of the law) however if you’ve lived together as a couple for 6 months after you found out about it you cannot cite adultery as a reason for divorce so given the huge issues with using sex out of wedlock as a reason for divorce the fact there’s been a provision of consent if someone is swinging then it’s highly unlikely it would be considered as a breach of marriage contract. So semantically I’d view cheating as already stated by others as being a lack of consent, and not enshrined in legal contract of marriage - especially as it appears sex with the same sex out of wedlock looks not to be grounds for adultery anyway! "

Thank you. Cleared that up nicely.

I stand corrected.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have no reason to question anyones morals... But I have an observation and it will no doubt offend some individuals..

Being part of the 'swinging community' is a licence for all to 'cheat' whether you are married, partnered and associated with another.... Hypocritical perhaps...

Swingig is the exact opposite of cheating. It is not a licence to cheat.

Cheating is deceitful and means consent is *not* given.

Cheating may not always be decetful. If marriage vows are broken, does that not constitute cheating even if permission is given? Think in a Court of law this would be the case. There's a few in here who will know that better than me and may correct me on that point."

No.

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