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Verification for every meet?

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By *adame 2Swords OP   Woman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

I was asked to leave a verification after a social meet. The guy was ok, but I made my excuses to finish early.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be honest. He turned up, he was lovely but not your type, you wish him well.

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By *anana JoeMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"I was asked to leave a verification after a social meet. The guy was ok, but I made my excuses to finish early."

Its your choice if you leave one or not but its not compulsory.

Why did you leave early btw?

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By *adame 2Swords OP   Woman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

Extremist in his views. He was pressing all the wrong buttons with me!!!

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

A social meet that didn't end well?

No I wouldn't leave a veri.

A veri can be seen by some as a 'seal of approval' green lighting that person as ok, reliable trustworthy etc.

If I felt something wasn't right, or uneasy, then I wouldn't want my name on their profile.

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By *adame 2Swords OP   Woman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

lol thank you. I felt uncomfortable, and he was very insistent I gave him a verification.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was asked to leave a verification after a social meet. The guy was ok, but I made my excuses to finish early."

if you dont want to leave a veri dont

its your choice not his

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By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds


"lol thank you. I felt uncomfortable, and he was very insistent I gave him a verification."

The thing is you could say how you felt in your veri, but if he hides it all anyone will see is the green tick of approval. I’d go with your gut x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The first meet we had on here kept harping on about verifying him. Seriously it was the first thing we said after we did the deed right up until he went back home. I'm too much of a nice person and wrote it from my husbands point of view out of politeness. Don't get me wrong he was polite and friendly just a really bad shag!

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows


"lol thank you. I felt uncomfortable, and he was very insistent I gave him a verification."

I've had a couple of people badger me for veris, all been done jokingly at first, but after couple more messages get quite arsey, rude even aggressive about it.

Just proved my initial feeling about them.

Block & move on. You owe no one nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I revise my earlier opinion, however, is a verification there to prove someone is who they say they are, that they turn up, or an opinion on compatibility with others?

His opinions and views may be distasteful, but a verification is a verification, not a recommendation.

But do as you feel best.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I revise my earlier opinion, however, is a verification there to prove someone is who they say they are, that they turn up, or an opinion on compatibility with others?

His opinions and views may be distasteful, but a verification is a verification, not a recommendation.

But do as you feel best.

"

some men see a verification as recommendation or a reference. trust me i have had messages saying it and totally turns me off

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By *atexbisexTV/TS
over a year ago

Central London


"I revise my earlier opinion, however, is a verification there to prove someone is who they say they are, that they turn up, or an opinion on compatibility with others?

His opinions and views may be distasteful, but a verification is a verification, not a recommendation.

But do as you feel best.

"

I hadn't looked at it that way before,but I don't think I would bother if the best I was able to say was that they turned up and had a pulse

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows


"I revise my earlier opinion, however, is a verification there to prove someone is who they say they are, that they turn up, or an opinion on compatibility with others?

His opinions and views may be distasteful, but a verification is a verification, not a recommendation.

But do as you feel best.

"

See my first post

Alot of people see a veri as just that.

If someone has a veri from someone, how shall we say? Popular, attractive etc, then it automatically gives that person's profile a boost.

"They must be good as so & so met them, and left a veri"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I revise my earlier opinion, however, is a verification there to prove someone is who they say they are, that they turn up, or an opinion on compatibility with others?

His opinions and views may be distasteful, but a verification is a verification, not a recommendation.

But do as you feel best.

I hadn't looked at it that way before,but I don't think I would bother if the best I was able to say was that they turned up and had a pulse "

and he wouldnt show it anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I revise my earlier opinion, however, is a verification there to prove someone is who they say they are, that they turn up, or an opinion on compatibility with others?

His opinions and views may be distasteful, but a verification is a verification, not a recommendation.

But do as you feel best.

some men see a verification as recommendation or a reference. trust me i have had messages saying it and totally turns me off"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I revise my earlier opinion, however, is a verification there to prove someone is who they say they are, that they turn up, or an opinion on compatibility with others?

His opinions and views may be distasteful, but a verification is a verification, not a recommendation.

But do as you feel best.

some men see a verification as recommendation or a reference. trust me i have had messages saying it and totally turns me off

"

And we all read things in different ways.

Going back to the OP's original post, she said he was ok initially but then we here more and change our viewpoint accordingly.

Its a complex one and I won't pretend I know the answers. But I also agree, get a veri from a well liked forumite and your "viewed me" go through the roof!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t verify every person I’ve met. I’ve had 4 great dates recently but we haven’t verified each other. We chat on whatsapp most days so I don’t feel the need to validate on here. Don’t feel pressured to verify if you don’t want to or you can be very honest. It’s really up to you OP.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Odd things verifications, sometimes says more about the person verifying than those being verified.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I revise my earlier opinion, however, is a verification there to prove someone is who they say they are, that they turn up, or an opinion on compatibility with others?

His opinions and views may be distasteful, but a verification is a verification, not a recommendation.

But do as you feel best.

some men see a verification as recommendation or a reference. trust me i have had messages saying it and totally turns me off

And we all read things in different ways.

Going back to the OP's original post, she said he was ok initially but then we here more and change our viewpoint accordingly.

Its a complex one and I won't pretend I know the answers. But I also agree, get a veri from a well liked forumite and your "viewed me" go through the roof!

"

That’s one of the reasons I don’t show my veris. I really don’t want to get meets because someone popular verified me. I’d rather do it because they like me and want to spend time with me.

I wouldn’t verify him.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Veris *are* supposed to be just that, a verification that someone is who they say they are - however they've become more than that over time and to some are so much more - you only have to look at threads bemoaning not being able to get one, or profiles that state how they were "here before and well verified" or "won't meet unless verified" for evidence of that.

People read all kinds of things into them - sometimes rightly, sometimes wrongly.

Trouble is I'm not sure there's an alternative to the current system that doesn't give rise to suspicion or doubt.

Personally whilst it's always nice to be verified, I certainly don't expect one and if someone was hassling me for one I'd be inclined not to provide one no matter how good or bad the meet had been.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Veris *are* supposed to be just that, a verification that someone is who they say they are - however they've become more than that over time and to some are so much more - you only have to look at threads bemoaning not being able to get one, or profiles that state how they were "here before and well verified" or "won't meet unless verified" for evidence of that.

People read all kinds of things into them - sometimes rightly, sometimes wrongly.

Trouble is I'm not sure there's an alternative to the current system that doesn't give rise to suspicion or doubt.

Personally whilst it's always nice to be verified, I certainly don't expect one and if someone was hassling me for one I'd be inclined not to provide one no matter how good or bad the meet had been."

This is the first site I’ve used that has that system. The others don’t. I’m not a big fan of them tbh and it can put me off someone more than the other way around. I don’t mind them for socials but personal ones can be too personal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Veris *are* supposed to be just that, a verification that someone is who they say they are - however they've become more than that over time and to some are so much more - you only have to look at threads bemoaning not being able to get one, or profiles that state how they were "here before and well verified" or "won't meet unless verified" for evidence of that.

People read all kinds of things into them - sometimes rightly, sometimes wrongly.

Trouble is I'm not sure there's an alternative to the current system that doesn't give rise to suspicion or doubt.

Personally whilst it's always nice to be verified, I certainly don't expect one and if someone was hassling me for one I'd be inclined not to provide one no matter how good or bad the meet had been.

This is the first site I’ve used that has that system. The others don’t. I’m not a big fan of them tbh and it can put me off someone more than the other way around. I don’t mind them for socials but personal ones can be too personal. "

Agreed. Not a fan of graphic ones.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"Veris *are* supposed to be just that, a verification that someone is who they say they are - however they've become more than that over time and to some are so much more - you only have to look at threads bemoaning not being able to get one, or profiles that state how they were "here before and well verified" or "won't meet unless verified" for evidence of that.

People read all kinds of things into them - sometimes rightly, sometimes wrongly.

Trouble is I'm not sure there's an alternative to the current system that doesn't give rise to suspicion or doubt.

Personally whilst it's always nice to be verified, I certainly don't expect one and if someone was hassling me for one I'd be inclined not to provide one no matter how good or bad the meet had been.

This is the first site I’ve used that has that system. The others don’t. I’m not a big fan of them tbh and it can put me off someone more than the other way around. I don’t mind them for socials but personal ones can be too personal. "

I *can* see their value from the perspective of confirming someone is genuine and adding a layer of comfort around personal security/safety - but given they're so easily faked neither of those things should be taken for granted based on veris alone.

That said if they didn't exist, there are many other due diligence options to confirm someone is real and not an axe wielder before meeting them anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Veris *are* supposed to be just that, a verification that someone is who they say they are - however they've become more than that over time and to some are so much more - you only have to look at threads bemoaning not being able to get one, or profiles that state how they were "here before and well verified" or "won't meet unless verified" for evidence of that.

People read all kinds of things into them - sometimes rightly, sometimes wrongly.

Trouble is I'm not sure there's an alternative to the current system that doesn't give rise to suspicion or doubt.

Personally whilst it's always nice to be verified, I certainly don't expect one and if someone was hassling me for one I'd be inclined not to provide one no matter how good or bad the meet had been.

This is the first site I’ve used that has that system. The others don’t. I’m not a big fan of them tbh and it can put me off someone more than the other way around. I don’t mind them for socials but personal ones can be too personal.

I *can* see their value from the perspective of confirming someone is genuine and adding a layer of comfort around personal security/safety - but given they're so easily faked neither of those things should be taken for granted based on veris alone.

That said if they didn't exist, there are many other due diligence options to confirm someone is real and not an axe wielder before meeting them anyway."

I’ve met perfectly ok men from another site without a veri system. I just got to know them a little bit better. Just the same way here. Some people like to jump quickly and nothing wrong with that but not my way of doing things.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"Veris *are* supposed to be just that, a verification that someone is who they say they are - however they've become more than that over time and to some are so much more - you only have to look at threads bemoaning not being able to get one, or profiles that state how they were "here before and well verified" or "won't meet unless verified" for evidence of that.

People read all kinds of things into them - sometimes rightly, sometimes wrongly.

Trouble is I'm not sure there's an alternative to the current system that doesn't give rise to suspicion or doubt.

Personally whilst it's always nice to be verified, I certainly don't expect one and if someone was hassling me for one I'd be inclined not to provide one no matter how good or bad the meet had been.

This is the first site I’ve used that has that system. The others don’t. I’m not a big fan of them tbh and it can put me off someone more than the other way around. I don’t mind them for socials but personal ones can be too personal.

I *can* see their value from the perspective of confirming someone is genuine and adding a layer of comfort around personal security/safety - but given they're so easily faked neither of those things should be taken for granted based on veris alone.

That said if they didn't exist, there are many other due diligence options to confirm someone is real and not an axe wielder before meeting them anyway.

I’ve met perfectly ok men from another site without a veri system. I just got to know them a little bit better. Just the same way here. Some people like to jump quickly and nothing wrong with that but not my way of doing things. "

Oh I agree and am the same - the only real use veris provide to me are as a guideline, along with profile, forum presence etc as to whether we'd be well matched (overly graphic or showing they meet 4 times a week for sex with different random people would put me off) but if they didn't exist it wouldn't change a great deal about how I approach Fab at all.

The best verification system is your own personal one which involves taking your time and getting to know people

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