FabSwingers.com forum: The Mr wants me to

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Fuck someone while he is at work .... We have only been swinging a few months and so far only as a couple ...to me this feels like I would be cheating on him

Also I would not be ok with him doing it .... opinions please .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only do what you're comfortable with.

At the moment this is how I feel, so can totally understand where you're coming from.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell him how you feel

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHornyGentMan
over a year ago

South East London

Swinging rule 1. Only do what you’re comfortable with. If not then don’t.

Swinging rule 2. Refer to rule 1.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

So dont.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My hubby wanted this and I felt the same so we arranged for him to come home from work to find me with someone and then join in

Just to ease us into me meeting alone while hes at work x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh yes we have spoken about it at length ...just wondering really at what point others did this ...how do you get to that stage and what did it do to your relationship ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inandRussianCouple
over a year ago

lymm

"Fuck someone while he is at work .... We have only been swinging a few months and so far only as a couple ...to me this feels like I would be cheating on him

Also I would not be ok with him doing it .... opinions please ."

Oh no we did that a few months ago it didn't go well as anything could of happened in his absence, be careful what you wish for is my advice, if you have only been doing it a short while ease in to it and no your boundaries.

Good luck abd happy fabbing xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heshire DilfMan
over a year ago

Cheshire

Yeah, to reiterate the sentiments of the previous posts, a big part of swinging is being honest and open about what you want. If you don't want to do it, tell him otherwise you're going to go down a rocky road, and not the good kind with marshmallows and chocolate.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *odjamMan
over a year ago

woodford

Anything you do should be safe sane and consensual. If you are unhappy about doing something then don't.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I wouldn't say I'm unhappy ...it's a naughty thought of course but my main worry is that he will be upset and I would feel guilty.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Fuck someone while he is at work .... We have only been swinging a few months and so far only as a couple ...to me this feels like I would be cheating on him

Also I would not be ok with him doing it .... opinions please ."

Our opinions don't count, they have absolutely no relevance to your situation.

When one person in a couple wants to do something and the other doesn't some sort of compromise needs to be reached by discussing it with each other. He's suggested it, you don't want to. Is there any middle ground e.g. you have some sexy chat with a guy on kik?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *drenaline rushMan
over a year ago

Burnley

Only do what your comfortable with simple

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have done this a few times..BUT..we have been swingers for over 25 years.. we fully know eachothers swinging ways..Tell him, at this point, you would not be comfortable with this scenario,but may consider it further down the line.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only do what you feel comfortable with hubs has told me to do whatever I want when he’s not around but I know that deep down he wouldn’t be comfortable with it and neither would I couldn’t meet another guy and then f^*k him all while hubs is at work fills me with dread being alone with a man I don’t know

Mrscxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your not comfortable then don't do it.

We had spoken in length about trying it. I had all the worries had a few sleepless nights. But after a long time chatting we said we would give it a go and see how we both felt.

My first time felt odd.. but very very good.

I only see the 1 guy but each time it happens it gets more exciting.

only do what your happy with.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oney to the beeWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"Fuck someone while he is at work .... We have only been swinging a few months and so far only as a couple ...to me this feels like I would be cheating on him

Also I would not be ok with him doing it .... opinions please ."

Sounds like you are best saying no as it could lead to issues and complications.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

"Swinging rule 1. Only do what you’re comfortable with. If not then don’t.

Swinging rule 2. Refer to rule 1. "

This! And written by a bloke = impressed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fuck someone while he is at work .... We have only been swinging a few months and so far only as a couple ...to me this feels like I would be cheating on him

Also I would not be ok with him doing it .... opinions please ."

If you have talked it over and he has asked you to do it then it is not cheating. I can understand it will feel like it but that will be part of the sexual dynamic between you and your husband and should be embraced in a positive way.

Regarding you not liking it if he did it. Swinging is not about quid pro quo and 'if you can do it so can I' it is about having and respecting boundaries you are both comfortable with. The boundaries don't have to be equitable. Swinging is a journey and you may become OK with it in future but always be true to what you are comfortable with.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

"Fuck someone while he is at work .... We have only been swinging a few months and so far only as a couple ...to me this feels like I would be cheating on him

Also I would not be ok with him doing it .... opinions please ."

I've been swinging for 11 years, and still feel exactly the same as you. I feel like it's cheating. Women are more emotional creatures than men. Go with your heart, only you know whats right for you.

Maybe start thinking about just you meeting an f/m couple instead of a single bloke. With the mindset they are also attached. Would this put a differant perspective on it for you?

Only you know whats best for YOU.

Hugs. (Fem)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are new to the lifestyle, no need to rush through it. Enjoy what you are doing now.

In time you may feel differently and meet guys alone.

Sounds fun, good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have lots of fantasies. Some of them will never ever happen, some may, some already have. Weve spoken about it every single step of the way. There have been times when on or the other has been apprehensive or nervous. But our commitment to each other is far more important than anything swinging related.

Sit down, talk, be very very honest. Then put it off for Andrew weeks to give u breathing space. Then talk about it again.

Swinging and fantasies are not time bound.

Good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rbaldMan
over a year ago

Outskirts Sittingbourne

"Fuck someone while he is at work .... We have only been swinging a few months and so far only as a couple ...to me this feels like I would be cheating on him

Also I would not be ok with him doing it .... opinions please ."
. Don't do it. If you feel uncomfortable with the idea already then you won't enjoy the experience and, let's face it, sex is supposed to be an enjoyable experience.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ony 529Man
over a year ago

coventry

"Fuck someone while he is at work .... We have only been swinging a few months and so far only as a couple ...to me this feels like I would be cheating on him

Also I would not be ok with him doing it .... opinions please ."
. Where does the queue start

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHornyGentMan
over a year ago

South East London

"Swinging rule 1. Only do what you’re comfortable with. If not then don’t.

Swinging rule 2. Refer to rule 1.

This! And written by a bloke = impressed. "

Thanks. It makes sense otherwise it’s a disaster. I’ve seen plenty of couples arguing in clubs over the years on this very point.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"We have lots of fantasies. Some of them will never ever happen, some may, some already have. Weve spoken about it every single step of the way. There have been times when on or the other has been apprehensive or nervous. But our commitment to each other is far more important than anything swinging related.

Sit down, talk, be very very honest. Then put it off for Andrew weeks to give u breathing space. Then talk about it again.

Swinging and fantasies are not time bound.

Good luck "

That's very true. I think there's a tendency to want everything at once when you start swinging but there's plenty of time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks all for your opinions ...there is plenty of time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oping for funMan
over a year ago

Newport - Shropshire

hey its your game and so your rules. Don what you both want ... and if you do go ahead find someone you trust implicitly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Swinging rule 1. Only do what you’re comfortable with. If not then don’t.

Swinging rule 2. Refer to rule 1.

This! And written by a bloke = impressed.

Thanks. It makes sense otherwise it’s a disaster. I’ve seen plenty of couples arguing in clubs over the years on this very point."

Yep, communication.

Just because something was ok doesn't mean it's always ok. All it could take would be something like hormonal changes and one feels extra sensitive, not at their most confident, then things could go badly. Open communication always.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

Only do what you feel comfortable with and there is no rush to do anything either.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fuck someone while he is at work .... We have only been swinging a few months and so far only as a couple ...to me this feels like I would be cheating on him

Also I would not be ok with him doing it .... opinions please ."

Don't do something you're not comfortable with. A simple rule to stick too on here that protects you from a lot of things.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *organ and rob zombieCouple
over a year ago

bradford

been There guys! Mrs was meeting a guy on here a couple of times a week for over a month when we first joined convincing ourselves that it’s what we both wanted! During December, crap Xmas ensued, and a tearful new year but all was well again by valentines! It didn’t kill us, made us stronger in the end but you guys might not be so fortunate?? Not recommended to be honest!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't say I'm unhappy ...it's a naughty thought of course but my main worry is that he will be upset and I would feel guilty."

If he suggested it then he must be turned on by that. He won't be upset. He will want to hear about everything in detail which will make him want you more.

If you know it will turn him on you won't have the guilt.

Obviously the main thing will be finding the right guy for you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I wouldn't say I'm unhappy ...it's a naughty thought of course but my main worry is that he will be upset and I would feel guilty.

If he suggested it then he must be turned on by that. He won't be upset. He will want to hear about everything in detail which will make him want you more.

If you know it will turn him on you won't have the guilt.

Obviously the main thing will be finding the right guy for you.

No, obviously the main thing is does she want to do it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avidberksMan
over a year ago

Wokingham

could you re-create his fantasy at a club? he goes in his work clothes... you find a suitable chap ... hubby watches or waits outside so you do it together as a stepping stone. if that is too much then you aren't going to be comfortable with the full fantasy

otherwise what HornyGent said

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itvclaireTV/TS
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Swinging rule 1. Only do what you’re comfortable with. If not then don’t.

Swinging rule 2. Refer to rule 1. "

Can't disagree with that. As already said. Only do what you are comfortable with. Talking to each other is paramount.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I wouldn't say I'm unhappy ...it's a naughty thought of course but my main worry is that he will be upset and I would feel guilty.

If he suggested it then he must be turned on by that. He won't be upset. He will want to hear about everything in detail which will make him want you more.

If you know it will turn him on you won't have the guilt.

Obviously the main thing will be finding the right guy for you.

No disrespect intended, but this is possibly the worst advice so far - there is a world of difference between liking the *idea* of what the OP has suggested and the reality of actually doing it.

Just because someone is turned on by the idea does NOT mean they will not be upset by it in reality. Likewise just because you know someone likes the idea of something doesn't mean you won't feel guilty about doing it.

As others have said OP - go at your own pace and ONLY do what you are comfortable with BOTH as individuals and as a couple.

One suggestion, that hasn't been mentioned, that might be worth considering if you both like the idea, but aren't sure how you'll react when it comes to the reality - if you've already played together with other couples and are comfortable with that - how about finding a single guy to meet together for an MMF? That way your other half is present and would possibly address the guilt thing, will also give him a chance to see how he feels about it in that situation.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This seems to be the most sensible option... I assume that you have informed 'the third party'...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

"Fuck someone while he is at work .... We have only been swinging a few months and so far only as a couple ...to me this feels like I would be cheating on him

Also I would not be ok with him doing it .... opinions please ."

This is such a turn on, trust me he will be hard all day just thinking about you fucking someone else

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Don't do what you are not comfortable with

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t put your relationship in any jeopardy, only do what your comfortable with

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Fuck someone while he is at work .... We have only been swinging a few months and so far only as a couple ...to me this feels like I would be cheating on him

Also I would not be ok with him doing it .... opinions please .

This is such a turn on, trust me he will be hard all day just thinking about you fucking someone else"

that's not a good enough reason for her to do something she's unsure about though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *thicalslutx69Couple
over a year ago

lincoln

Unless you are sure don’t do it. It’s not worth the risk when involving a marriage or relationship. As with anything in life think very carefully and make sure you are totally happy with anything you do as once you have done it you can’t undo it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

I'd never ask the wife to do something she's uncomfortable with I'd like to see her suck a guy but she's not interested so that's that I'd hate to put her in a situation where she's scared or uncomfortable

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go for it, I use to get a real kick out of knowing my wife was being fucked whilst I was at home.

Loved picking her up afterwards hearing all about it then we fuck

Brilliant

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fuck someone while he is at work .... We have only been swinging a few months and so far only as a couple ...to me this feels like I would be cheating on him

Also I would not be ok with him doing it .... opinions please ."

I mean if you are into it

Then find someone you feel attracted to and at the same time understand your situation and take it slow it will flow naturally

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itguy21066Man
over a year ago

leicester

"Fuck someone while he is at work .... We have only been swinging a few months and so far only as a couple ...to me this feels like I would be cheating on him

Also I would not be ok with him doing it .... opinions please ."

All I can say is yes yes yes, that’s so horny you can tell him just how good the guy was and how he made you cum, best of all would be to have the cum still on or inside you when he gets home mmmmm

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fuck someone while he is at work .... We have only been swinging a few months and so far only as a couple ...to me this feels like I would be cheating on him

Also I would not be ok with him doing it .... opinions please ."

If your husband is okay with it, then feel free to do it.

But if you’re not comfortable doing it, don’t. There’s too many couples who only swing to please the other half of their couple. It’s not worth it.

I play, my husband doesn’t at all. It doesn’t feel like cheating as my husband loves it, but we discussed it a lot beforehand and I took it really slowly.

Again; if you’re not comfortable doing something, don’t.

Good luck in whatever you choose x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd never ask the wife to do something she's uncomfortable with I'd like to see her suck a guy but she's not interested so that's that I'd hate to put her in a situation where she's scared or uncomfortable"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fuck someone while he is at work .... We have only been swinging a few months and so far only as a couple ...to me this feels like I would be cheating on him

Also I would not be ok with him doing it .... opinions please .

All I can say is yes yes yes, that’s so horny you can tell him just how good the guy was and how he made you cum, best of all would be to have the cum still on or inside you when he gets home mmmmm"

I don't understand why people are advising someone to do something that they're pretty sure will make them feel like shit.

Like another said, once it's been done it can't be undone.

Some people are strong enough to chalk it down to experience and move on if they try something that isn't for them, but something that could leave you with terrible guilt is enough to impact the relationship to the point of no return, some people when faced with a sense of guilt self destruct. Why, when it's an unknown quantity are people trying to bypass or ignore the possible consequences for their own titillation?

Do what feels right.

It's ok to push boundaries, it IS ok to step outside your comfort zone, as long as you're able to deal with the fallout if it doesn't go to plan.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fuck someone while he is at work .... We have only been swinging a few months and so far only as a couple ...to me this feels like I would be cheating on him

Also I would not be ok with him doing it .... opinions please .

So she should do it anyway so her husband is turned on? Even though she clearly doesn’t want too?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you first start swinging there’s a tendency to want to try everything straight away like a kid in a sweet shop. As others have rightly said, there’s no rush.

You never know how you’re going to react to a situation until you are in it even if you think you do. The reality can often be very different.

Honesty, openness and communication. The three most important things in this lifestyle.

It can be the best thing you’ve ever done or the worst. Hope it turns out to be the first! x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never do anything you don't want to as it will always end badly. Take it at your pace with lots of honest communication between you. Male

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When you first start swinging there’s a tendency to want to try everything straight away like a kid in a sweet shop. As others have rightly said, there’s no rush.

You never know how you’re going to react to a situation until you are in it even if you think you do. The reality can often be very different.

Honesty, openness and communication. The three most important things in this lifestyle.

It can be the best thing you’ve ever done or the worst. Hope it turns out to be the first! x"

Makes so much sense . When we first started he felt very jealous in a mmf situation with and a guy ....however after this blip he actively encouraged it and learnt that he loves to watch me with some else then he joins in and we have amazing sex together afterwards . Didn't expect that at all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Being the jealous type isn't going to end well doing things like this,is he the type of person to throw it back at you if you have a little tiff? I'd say you have all the lower here either you want to do it or don't

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otwhenwetCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Swinging rule 1. Only do what you’re comfortable with. If not then don’t.

Swinging rule 2. Refer to rule 1. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fuck someone while he is at work .... We have only been swinging a few months and so far only as a couple ...to me this feels like I would be cheating on him

Also I would not be ok with him doing it .... opinions please ."

I feel exactly like you..if hubbies not there it's like cheating..hubby would like me to ...i would not feel comfortable doing that and would never be happy if he did it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *istressdandsubtCouple
over a year ago

caterham

Being the hubby writing and we like cuck play I have encouraged wife to do this with friends we have played with, as expressed above wifey has stated she not comfortable and feels like cheating.

What she has done is go to a club on her own when I was working meet a friend we have played with and brought him back home for both of us to be involved . I can honestly say without a shadow if doubt that it was the longest and the quickest I have ever left work to get home , only then to find them both having a drink in the garden waiting for me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you first start swinging there’s a tendency to want to try everything straight away like a kid in a sweet shop. As others have rightly said, there’s no rush.

You never know how you’re going to react to a situation until you are in it even if you think you do. The reality can often be very different.

Honesty, openness and communication. The three most important things in this lifestyle.

It can be the best thing you’ve ever done or the worst. Hope it turns out to be the first! x

The after sex is always fantastic! An unexpected bonus. Usually carries on for a couple of days afterwards as well. ( Not non stop I hasten to add!

)

V x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread