FabSwingers.com forum: How are you today?

By *harliebluestockings OP Couple
over a year ago

london

Does anyone reply to this or are we being unfair by just deleting them. Realise

It’s not easy to break the ice when you are communicating for the first time with a short profile and pics of genetalia but a little more thought/ effort is appreciated.

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By *anana JoeMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Never had one personally I just get the fuck off im not interested ones.

But IF i did I would say hi back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi and welcome

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By *ony 529Man
over a year ago

coventry

"Does anyone reply to this or are we being unfair by just deleting them. Realise

It’s not easy to break the ice when you are communicating for the first time with a short profile and pics of genetalia but a little more thought/ effort is appreciated. "
. How true I've always being polite in my messages but how do you start sometimes like you say when you are talking to a cock or gaping pussy mmmmm tough one

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By *ornysxguyMan
over a year ago

Maldon, Essex

Yep, if someone’s was to send that I’d respond, why not? No different that being asked that in the real world. Think it’s sad that people bypass mail with the most basic of introduction lines. Why wright a paragraph if you don’t if get a “I’m good, thanks for asking, how’s your day?” Back? I’m sure many users you demand other forms of introduction would actually freak if a guy walked up to them in a bar with a paragraph of intro before even knowing if the other party was interested or not.

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By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

If I did get a message like that I'd simply take a look at their profile and if something caught my eye then I'd see if a conversation could started.

Obviously it's different for everyone else especially with the amount of daily messages so it's each to their own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am often tempted to reply with sarcasm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I struggle with these personally because I ain't too great at the pleasantries so to speak. I'm polite and all that jazz however I'm likely to respond honestly. I'm not sure they wanna hear that I had a tough shift at work, or that my back aches. If I'm not feeling great I can't fake it.

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By *ony 529Man
over a year ago

coventry

"I struggle with these personally because I ain't too great at the pleasantries so to speak. I'm polite and all that jazz however I'm likely to respond honestly. I'm not sure they wanna hear that I had a tough shift at work, or that my back aches. If I'm not feeling great I can't fake it.

P"
well put

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I delete. I'm pretty clear on my profile about these things.

I look at this as a classified advert of sorts. Here are my wares (me, lol), what do you make of it?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Yep, if someone’s was to send that I’d respond, why not? No different that being asked that in the real world. Think it’s sad that people bypass mail with the most basic of introduction lines. Why wright a paragraph if you don’t if get a “I’m good, thanks for asking, how’s your day?” Back? I’m sure many users you demand other forms of introduction would actually freak if a guy walked up to them in a bar with a paragraph of intro before even knowing if the other party was interested or not. "

But it's not a bar. And if the number of people who message me approached me in public, I'd hire a bodyguard.

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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago

so near and yet so far....

I always (mostly) reply like for like, but get frustrated when it’s just hi, to which I’ll say hi back then how are you, and I reply to however I’m feeling, then mostly the ‘chat’ dries up... or follows the same way for a couple of days, the best one yet is when they complained I didn’t talk...

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I always (mostly) reply like for like, but get frustrated when it’s just hi, to which I’ll say hi back then how are you, and I reply to however I’m feeling, then mostly the ‘chat’ dries up... or follows the same way for a couple of days, the best one yet is when they complained I didn’t talk...

Occasionally if I like the look of the person I'll reply back, but put in the same amount of effort as they do. 90% of the time they get annoyed that I'm not facilitating meaningful conversation

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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago

so near and yet so far....

Occasionally if I like the look of the person I'll reply back, but put in the same amount of effort as they do. 90% of the time they get annoyed that I'm not facilitating meaningful conversation

Omg we chat to the same people

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Occasionally if I like the look of the person I'll reply back, but put in the same amount of effort as they do. 90% of the time they get annoyed that I'm not facilitating meaningful conversation

Omg we chat to the same people

It's such a common mindset. It drives me nuts. Yes, I'm looking for sex. No, your sexual abilities don't relate to your writing ability. But I use the distance here and written word to engage and try to work out if you're respectful and safe. If you can't do that, I assume the answer is no.

I don't care about your opinions on Chaucer necessarily, but I do need a proper conversation. Using sentences. And elaboration. That I can read into.

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By *ardinal FangMan
over a year ago

Sandy

I’ll agree that some profiles simply give you nothing to go on, those with a couple of pictures and “Will fill this on later” or “Just seeing what this is about”.

The result? I don’t bother messaging them.

I always try to show that I’ve, in some way, read their profile and that I can say something which answers what they are looking for.

Doesn’t mean I get any more replies though

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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago

so near and yet so far....

If some men realised that if you engage the brain the body will follow...

The successful men realise this...

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By *k_intriguedCouple
over a year ago

Warwickshire

We don't get too many messages, so something simple like "hi, how are you" is often good. Dryer than getting to the point too quickly (and too explicitly), and if there's no spark there it becomes obvious fairly quickly.

If we were inundated I can see how it might be nice to have something more interesting.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"If some men realised that if you engage the brain the body will follow...

The successful men realise this...

That's exactly what my header is about. Not fucking garlic

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"We don't get too many messages, so something simple like "hi, how are you" is often good. Dryer than getting to the point too quickly (and too explicitly), and if there's no spark there it becomes obvious fairly quickly.

If we were inundated I can see how it might be nice to have something more interesting. "

Fair enough! I just don't see what's so hard about, I like x on your interests, y that you said interests me, etc. There's a lot of space between "hi u sexy bbe" and "I'm gonna rip your knickers off with my teeth".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fabulously beautiful

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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

I always reply 'very well thanks " and if I like the look of them I'll add" yourself? "

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

I respond to all messages but do tend to give up when the response is bizarre or erratic

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By *harliebluestockings OP Couple
over a year ago

london

A very varied range of responses.

In short we like to have dialogue but feel if that’s the initial attempt let’s move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone reply to this or are we being unfair by just deleting them. Realise

It’s not easy to break the ice when you are communicating for the first time with a short profile and pics of genetalia but a little more thought/ effort is appreciated. "

I reply to EVERY message even if it’s an eye-roll unless it’s hi

Just hi

Delete

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By *harliebluestockings OP Couple
over a year ago

london

"Does anyone reply to this or are we being unfair by just deleting them. Realise

It’s not easy to break the ice when you are communicating for the first time with a short profile and pics of genetalia but a little more thought/ effort is appreciated.

I reply to EVERY message even if it’s an eye-roll unless it’s hi

Just hi

Delete "

Guess we all draw the line. Just feels like many are copy paste sends. Like something to show msg is to us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We filter single guys out so it would be a couple asking us so we would answer, rude not too. We would answer single guys too if we didn't have to work lol. Male

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I honestly think there's an "it depends" answer to this - sometimes a short one liner can be effective at breaking the ice, sometimes a little more detail can spark a conversation.

There's no exact science or magic formula to it, it may depend on the profile of the other person, may depend on level of interest in messaging/meeting new people at the time the message is sent, and a whole host of other things besides.

I've replied to quick one liners and gone on to have great conversations and even meets, similarly I've replied to lengthy opening messages and the conversation has fizzled out after two or three messages.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

If they have a good profile we would reply ,if not delete

It can be hard to break the ice and it's better than getting a rude or crude message .

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi I presume that good manners are a thing of the past . What dose it take to say no thanks. That’s all it takes instead of nothing hat ho at least I was brought up with manners !!!!!

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By *duk70Man
over a year ago

langley

Sexually frustrated

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Hi I presume that good manners are a thing of the past . What dose it take to say no thanks. That’s all it takes instead of nothing hat ho at least I was brought up with manners !!!!! "

Good manners include knowing the norms of the place you are in. On Fab, delete without reply means no thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is the hard bit... Trying to gleen enough information from the profile to get a response and start a conversation... Like playing darts in the dark.

I appreciate that there has to be a attraction but I would prefer a sorry no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you’ve got to make a bit more of an effort than that, but I guess it comes entirely down to the profile and person, I structure any message I send based round the profile of the person, I have sent short messages similar to “how are you today” With great success in terms of a decent enough reply but I’ve also had it where there is no response at all. I think everyone should be well mannered and polite enough to respond to any well meaning message but with the amount of messages women get incomparison with men I doubt replying to everyone of them is feasible

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By *evadomCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

It’s 1up from a wink sometimes we answer politely and sometimes we don’t

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is the hard bit... Trying to gleen enough information from the profile to get a response and start a conversation... Like playing darts in the dark.

I appreciate that there has to be a attraction but I would prefer a sorry no thanks. "

It's a fine line. Sometimes a polite "No thank you" opens up a stream of abusive messages.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"This is the hard bit... Trying to gleen enough information from the profile to get a response and start a conversation... Like playing darts in the dark.

I appreciate that there has to be a attraction but I would prefer a sorry no thanks.

It's a fine line. Sometimes a polite "No thank you" opens up a stream of abusive messages."

Or let's be friends and I'll try to change your mind, or let's chat, or they can get around message filters in future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always struggle to reply to ‘how are you’ messages

I doubt the sender wants to know I’ve had a crap day at work, a row with my daughter, or a I’ve got a headache. A standard ‘good thanks’ reply doesn’t really help the sender either.

I’d much prefer a slightly more personal message that gives me something to work with,

It doesn’t have to be war and peace, just a couple of lines to help break the ice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Standard reply from us,"great" if there's an interest,or,"not interested"if there's none.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m a polite, not up my arse person and I reply to all messages. I’m not one of these types who insist on an “interesting “ opening message otherwise you will be ignored, blocked , blackballed etc. Wouldn’t want to meet people who get on like that especially those over 22 stone

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By *oyRoy06Man
over a year ago

leighton buzzard

"I honestly think there's an "it depends" answer to this - sometimes a short one liner can be effective at breaking the ice, sometimes a little more detail can spark a conversation.

Nailed it on the head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m a polite, not up my arse person and I reply to all messages. I’m not one of these types who insist on an “interesting “ opening message otherwise you will be ignored, blocked , blackballed etc. Wouldn’t want to meet people who get on like that especially those over 22 stone "

You sound like a keeper

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By *oyRoy06Man
over a year ago

leighton buzzard

"I always struggle to reply to ‘how are you’ messages

I doubt the sender wants to know I’ve had a crap day at work, a row with my daughter, or a I’ve got a headache. A standard ‘good thanks’ reply doesn’t really help the sender either.

I’d much prefer a slightly more personal message that gives me something to work with,

It doesn’t have to be war and peace, just a couple of lines to help break the ice "

There are likely some guys out there who genuinely are interested. Everyone makes connections and build rapport in their own way ... just that so many don't make any effort that the genuine "how are you's" are lost in masses

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I'm going to reply to the next one with an honest answer

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Yeah but you're a bloke as Joe Jackson once sang "It's Different For Girls" and on here it truly is - I'm guessing you get no more than a handful of unsolicited messages a week, or even month, from people you're not already in conversation with/know already - most ladies here, even with the use of filters, can get 30 or 40 (or more) of that type of message a day - so deleting/ignoring etc are part of what they do to manage that load.

Add to that that there *are* those that get abusive for being turned down and you start to understand why the ladies adopt some of the approaches they do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It must be hard for men particularly to write original first messages. Most are deleted. I know I’m rubbish at first messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always struggle to reply to ‘how are you’ messages

I doubt the sender wants to know I’ve had a crap day at work, a row with my daughter, or a I’ve got a headache. A standard ‘good thanks’ reply doesn’t really help the sender either.

I’d much prefer a slightly more personal message that gives me something to work with,

It doesn’t have to be war and peace, just a couple of lines to help break the ice

I’m sure you’re right. There are some lovely men on here.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"It must be hard for men particularly to write original first messages. Most are deleted. I know I’m rubbish at first messages. "

It's not easy, but it's also very easy to send the wrong kind of message - I don't often send completely cold unsolicited messages, but when I do it tends to be a short introduction, and explanation why I'm writing, add a bit about why I like the person's profile and why I think we'd be matched and invite them to take a look at mine and get back to me if my interest is matched - has got me a reply on all but one occassion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always reply to messages it's nice to be nice although to be fair we don't get loads of messages

. Tee

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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago

Stafford

I pretty much reply to everyone politely unless they're the really shitty (fancy a fuck) posts then they won't get a nice reply or a reply atall. I'm always happy to chat to people but just don't be dickhead

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By *layfulCouple86Couple
over a year ago

Lancashire

"Does anyone reply to this or are we being unfair by just deleting them. Realise

It’s not easy to break the ice when you are communicating for the first time with a short profile and pics of genetalia but a little more thought/ effort is appreciated. "

I think it's completely upto you where you set the bar for required effort.

I for example would ask by opening with a statement like "I hope you've had a day nothing short of spectacular" along with other things so I'm not directly asking the same mundane questions but opening it up for further conversation.

I also do genuinely hope everyone has had a spectacular day!

Much love

Mr Playful

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Add to that that there *are* those that get abusive for being turned down and you start to understand why the ladies adopt some of the approaches they do

Indeed. I didn't come on here with the mission of being mean or whatever. My approach is an adaptation to my experience of my inbox.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thinking fab has changed and cannot really find many at all that I actually want to meet. Anyone else the same?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Add to that that there *are* those that get abusive for being turned down and you start to understand why the ladies adopt some of the approaches they do

agreed and not just women. Those who put effort in get a reply one way or another. Only if I have time do I respond to all messages. Abusive replies just get blocked, I'm here for fun not grief.

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