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What makes people swing?

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By *aughtius Maximius OP   Man
over a year ago

Bromley

Hi Fabbers,

I`ve been doing a lot of thinking about why some people are open and into swinging and some not.

Is it to do with upbringing and sexual attitude of parents or other factors such as being religious or just peoples different personalities?

I would love to hear others ideas. Thanks.

Max

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

We were both recently divorced when we met. During our previous marriages neither of us had been able to be monogamous - we both need variety when it comes to sex. So we decided to accept that neither of us was going to be able to be 'faithful' during our relationship, and thought swinging would meet our needs openly and honestly - no need for hidden affairs or one-night-stands.

Swinging has worked very well for us over the last 15 years, we are very much in love and our sex together is great, but we get to fuck others too. We've made some good friends in the swinger world and play frequently, but we also get that buzz from sex with complete strangers.

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By *aughtius Maximius OP   Man
over a year ago

Bromley

Thanks.Very interesting and honest answer. If only more couples were as honest as you are/were with each other.

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By *attooedBBWWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

I’ve been poly since I was 19 so it’s soenthing I’ve always been comfortable with really. Sexual exploration started early

For us as a couple my partner left his marriage and so wasn’t looking for a relationship, and so was having fun with lots of women before we met. Then when we realised we felt more for each other he said that he’d only have continued seeing me because of my lifestyle as he didn’t want to just be tied to one person sexually so soon. So it ended up being perfect and became the couple we are today.

Being open and honest with each other is a beautiful thing and I’ve never been as happy as I am with him now and he says the same. It just works!

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By *aughtius Maximius OP   Man
over a year ago

Bromley


"I’ve been poly since I was 19 so it’s soenthing I’ve always been comfortable with really. Sexual exploration started early

For us as a couple my partner left his marriage and so wasn’t looking for a relationship, and so was having fun with lots of women before we met. Then when we realised we felt more for each other he said that he’d only have continued seeing me because of my lifestyle as he didn’t want to just be tied to one person sexually so soon. So it ended up being perfect and became the couple we are today.

Being open and honest with each other is a beautiful thing and I’ve never been as happy as I am with him now and he says the same. It just works!"

Hi Nancy,

Thanks for your message. Why were you open to being poly? Why were to sexually open so young? Was it to do with your family, your friends or does it just down to your personality?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

For some of us it really is a basic as just wanting to have sex with other people for no other reason than it's a lot of fun. If a there some or more some is a fantasy swinging is the best way to achieve it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me basically it's because my wife has gone right off sex & before I get accused of cheating I'm here with my wife's full knowledge & blessing. I enjoy meeting new people weather it's just socially or for sex.

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By *aughtius Maximius OP   Man
over a year ago

Bromley

Hi Nice couple,

Thanks, but what makes you or any other people want to do fulfil your sexual fantasies than most other people? Are people of certain personalty types or their parents sexual attitudes more likely to swing? Or is it just having the opportunity to do so? IE being single or finding a willing partner/wife/husband etc?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Greed?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Hi Nice couple,

Thanks, but what makes you or any other people want to do fulfil your sexual fantasies than most other people? Are people of certain personalty types or their parents sexual attitudes more likely to swing? Or is it just having the opportunity to do so? IE being single or finding a willing partner/wife/husband etc? "

I'm slightly confused by your question because it isn't only swingers who fulfil their fantasies. I genuinely think that some people think very deeply about their reasons for swinging and others just do it because it's (for them) a nice thing to do and their background, personality type and upbringing hasn't impacted on their decision to swing in my opinion.

I don't think anybody swings just because the opportunity arises, that would imply that everyone wants to but just doesn't due to lack of opportunity or a willing partner

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

Because I can.

V x

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By *aughtius Maximius OP   Man
over a year ago

Bromley

Thanks. What i`m trying to understand is why you and not your brother or sister if you have them swing. I`m trying to understand why people with the same upbringing swing and some don`t. It is just to "wanting" to do or is there other reasons?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Thanks. What i`m trying to understand is why you and not your brother or sister if you have them swing. I`m trying to understand why people with the same upbringing swing and some don`t. It is just to "wanting" to do or is there other reasons? "

Are you from Sydney University?

I think siblings aren't necessarily going to have the same sexual personality

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

We originally looked at swinging as a way for me to explore my bisexuality.

It ended up as so much more, as we discovered that we enjoy sharing, watching and being watched

Nita

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By *attooedBBWWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Hi Nancy,

Thanks for your message. Why were you open to being poly? Why were to sexually open so young? Was it to do with your family, your friends or does it just down to your personality? "

I hung out with more guys than girls when I was younger so I experimented as a teenager and just really enjoyed it. Poly wasn’t even spoken about back then really and because I’d only had one steady bf before I met my first poly guy I hadn’t really had any reason to not be curious about non monogamy when he told me about how it worked for him and his wife.

It was like the perfect storm for a 19 year old exploring herself to become part of a poly family.

Poly for me just felt right I suppose, as I had a high sex drive, enjoyed pleasure and having multiple partners to satisfy multiple needs, so it never made sense to me why I’d want to give up the promiscuity of being single just because I was in a relationship as long as I was honest about it.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some downsides, especially when dating as a lot of people don’t like the idea of the lifestyle but I’d never change it.

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By *aughtius Maximius OP   Man
over a year ago

Bromley


"Thanks. What i`m trying to understand is why you and not your brother or sister if you have them swing. I`m trying to understand why people with the same upbringing swing and some don`t. It is just to "wanting" to do or is there other reasons?

Are you from Sydney University?

I think siblings aren't necessarily going to have the same sexual personality"

No. Definitely not from Sydney Univ. I mention siblings because you`re likely to have the same upbringing.

Maybe i`m over thinking it too much

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"We originally looked at swinging as a way for me to explore my bisexuality.

It ended up as so much more, as we discovered that we enjoy sharing, watching and being watched

Nita"

I don't think upbringing has anything to do with it...

Nita

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By *attooedBBWWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Thanks. What i`m trying to understand is why you and not your brother or sister if you have them swing. I`m trying to understand why people with the same upbringing swing and some don`t. It is just to "wanting" to do or is there other reasons?

Are you from Sydney University?

I think siblings aren't necessarily going to have the same sexual personality"

Definitely in my case!

My sister is married with 5 kids and is strictly monogamous.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Thanks. What i`m trying to understand is why you and not your brother or sister if you have them swing. I`m trying to understand why people with the same upbringing swing and some don`t. It is just to "wanting" to do or is there other reasons?

Are you from Sydney University?

I think siblings aren't necessarily going to have the same sexual personality

No. Definitely not from Sydney Univ. I mention siblings because you`re likely to have the same upbringing.

Maybe i`m over thinking it too much "

I think a lot of people overthink it. Of course when anybody first considers swinging they need to discuss it with their partner and establish that they understand each other and keep that dialogue going. My opinion is that society tells us we should be monogomous so we need to rationalise this particular set of fantasies in order to justify it to ourselves. I've seen nothing that leads me to believe that a certain personality type or upbringing makes a person more likely to swing.

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By *aughtius Maximius OP   Man
over a year ago

Bromley

I`m certainly not a newcomer to this. I remember when I first started it was a joint decision with my then wife and i as we wanted to spice up our sex life loved the sexual/sensual atmosphere in clubs and wanted to fuck others whilst being emotionally monogamous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pure excitement!

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By *ill74Man
over a year ago

New forest area


"Greed? "

I was going to say a tree branch..

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By *ngelina4uWoman
over a year ago

Camberley/Middleton

I would guess its a desire for more sex it is with most I have talked to.

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