FabSwingers.com forum: Thinking about it.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi we been on this site now for over a year now and haven't met anyone yet.

We are a couple looking for a single female which no doubt most people want as well. We do get replies from women interested but we either never hear from them again, they turn out to be fake or we talk for ages but nothing eva leads anywhere.

We find most women like to talk to the female half of the couple which is fine so we created a msn account for chat but as Rach has college, work, gym, social life etc last thing she wants to do is sit in front of a pc waiting for people to sign in. Especially as we both try to avoid the social networking side of things as you loose so much time.

We have talked about it briefly if we would be interested in trying a couple, ideally we would prefer a woman first so we can see if we even like having an extra person, rather than two extra people straight away.

What would you recommend for a couple thinking about playing with another couple.

Would separate room swapping be advised for first time, getting use to doing stuff with other people first and then moving it into the same room? We are a very shy couple so any advice is great.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your not sure.... for the first time i would do same room.

We play as a couple but make sure everyone is happy before anyone makes amove. xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For us we built it up slowly with same room soft fun. Oral, touching, kissing that sort of thing. Charlie is a bit like my security blanket, and it always makes me feel secure when he is in the room, so that's what worked for us.

You really have to talk talk and talk some more to find out what will work for the both of you.

I would suggest going to a club. There's no pressure to play and it will help you dip your toe in and get to know more people.

Good luck xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As for the not wanting to sit infront of a computer you could always make a phone call.

We dont do msn etc but i always have a quick natter to the fem half xxx

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

i would go to a club...you can watch and join in if the mood takes you.

as said above, why not just chat on the phone,i only msn with friends, a quick phone call is far easier with meets. Tbh i am quite suspicious of requests for my msn addy.

Oh and i dont think most ppl here are looking for a single fem..for some of us its not the holy grail

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We never got to the phone call stage.

We tried a while ago other social networking sites mainly cuz Rach was leaning more towards something regular with one girl, maybe even a relationship. She got a lot of interest as shes a beautiful girl and amazing personality but these girls, one kept sleeping around so that put us off, one never talked, the other wasn't interested in me being involved and even tried to split us up. Now Rach just wants to try the fun side to see if she even likes being with another woman.

We probably will talk about going to a club soon.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"We never got to the phone call stage.

We probably will talk about going to a club soon."

i think you are trying to run before you can walk hun...relationship and your partner has never been with a woman

are you actually looking to swing,cos it sounds more like you are looking for polymory?

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"We never got to the phone call stage.

We probably will talk about going to a club soon."

oh and if sleeping round puts you off this might be the wrong place for you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

yeah we are certain now its swing we want.x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We never got to the phone call stage.

We probably will talk about going to a club soon.

oh and if sleeping round puts you off this might be the wrong place for you

That only put us off cuz this girl claimed to have feelings for Rach and be really keen to see us both etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi we been on this site now for over a year now and haven't met anyone yet.

What would you recommend for a couple thinking about playing with another couple.

Would separate room swapping be advised for first time, getting use to doing stuff with other people first and then moving it into the same room? We are a very shy couple so any advice is great.

First try and get yourself verified by other single women or cpls...this doesnt take too long...a cam chat alongwith your wife in chat room without even showing face...

this will be good start..because cpls like us and i am sure many other , just try to avoid profiles which are not verified....once you have done that , then i am sure people will take your profile seriously and start approaching you guys ...

just my view ....

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area

Start with same room/soft swing...

There are plenty of couples on here that will ease you in gently, so to speak..

There are also some that will not give you time of day,and some that will maybe pressure you into doing what you don't want to... don't let that put you off though..

Good luck x

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By *ane and JonnyCouple
over a year ago

Clwyd

We would highly recommend that you get yourselves to a club - Chameleons in Darlaston is very very good. Very relaxing, and you can do as much or as little as you want. Also some others may not agree but you need some more pics on your profile (even just for friends) as our feelings (correct or not - just way we feel) geniune people have pics on - one way of ing out the fake swingers.

(as said this is our thoughts

)

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By *ane and JonnyCouple
over a year ago

Clwyd

sorry also forgot we recommend same room - good luck

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area

If you are no longer just looking for single fems...why not start afresh with a new profile looking for couples?? Get a few more pics up of you both...

Being here over a year and not verified will put most off....They are not to know that you have changed your preference!

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By *ane and JonnyCouple
over a year ago

Clwyd

"If you are no longer just looking for single fems...why not start afresh with a new profile looking for couples?? Get a few more pics up of you both...

Being here over a year and not verified will put most off....They are not to know that you have changed your preference!

totally agree - the fact your name is new and shy but been on for a year would make anyone interested in contacting you very wary of your profile. Also you may need to add some more things you are interested in .. same room swap etc

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you for your messages.

We are planning to do some new photos, Rach wants to since shes been going the gym a lot lately.

As we don't live together yet,has been awkward to get on cam together but will try.

We will see if these tips help with single females first and go from there.x

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"yeah we are certain now its swing we want.x"

taking your time is a good thing...too many leap into swinging without thinking about it and talking it through..

As others have said revamp your profile...a year with no veris will put ppl off. Get to socials and start meeting ppl...happy swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Club is the answer.... pick one that is social, in fact go to a pure social night at a club.... meet swingers talk to them and see what works / doesn't work for you. Same room 100% has to be, if you are both shy by nature then you will want to be close enough to know how the other partner is feeling.

If it does then I would delete the profile and start again you will be known already and get verified from day one and will have a better idea of what to write on the profile as well.

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By *ane and JonnyCouple
over a year ago

Clwyd

"Club is the answer.... pick one that is social, in fact go to a pure social night at a club.... meet swingers talk to them and see what works / doesn't work for you. Same room 100% has to be, if you are both shy by nature then you will want to be close enough to know how the other partner is feeling.

If it does then I would delete the profile and start again you will be known already and get verified from day one and will have a better idea of what to write on the profile as well."

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By *inkershoes69Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

"We never got to the phone call stage.

We probably will talk about going to a club soon.

oh and if sleeping round puts you off this might be the wrong place for you

"
if i was told by a couple they dont like that i wouldnt play with them, im single and not your exclusive right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not try a social night and chat to couples with no pressure to play even just a social drink then build on that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We never got to the phone call stage.

We probably will talk about going to a club soon.

oh and if sleeping round puts you off this might be the wrong place for you

if i was told by a couple they dont like that i wouldnt play with them, im single and not your exclusive right

Have to admit I've read some bizarre things in the three years I've been on this site, but excluding someone for "sleeping around" is up near the top.

Op, you don't live together and seem unsure after a year. Perhaps you still need more time as a couple and be honest and realistic in what you want.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Maybe I didnt write it correctly about the sleeping around bit.

This was before FAB, when we met a girl who was interested in us both as a relationship, not just sex.

Thats why it put us off, cuz she claimed to have feelings for us and in our eyes, if you have those kinda feelings for someone, why sleep around.

As for FAB, we aren't after a relationship so others sleeping around does not bother us.

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

"We never got to the phone call stage.

We probably will talk about going to a club soon.

oh and if sleeping round puts you off this might be the wrong place for you

if i was told by a couple they dont like that i wouldnt play with them, im single and not your exclusive right

Have to admit I've read some bizarre things in the three years I've been on this site, but excluding someone for "sleeping around" is up near the top.

Op, you don't live together and seem unsure after a year. Perhaps you still need more time as a couple and be honest and realistic in what you want."

Have to agree with this.

If though, we've somehow missed the point, then the rest of the advice is spot on. Go to a club/social. They are a lot friendlier than you imagine and there is never a point in the night where you can't just say stop...

D&k.

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By *ane and JonnyCouple
over a year ago

Clwyd

Thing I (Jane) loved about the clubs is that NO ONE is judgmental... I'm a big girl and was worried about 'school playground mentality' but nothing like that at all. I can only speak for Chameleons (so far) but so so friendly and people are so friendly (mmmmm some very!).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont agree that a club is the answer.

we have never been to one and know exactly what we want and dont want.

communication and certainty IS the answer.

we went into this knowing EXACTLY how far we would and wouldnt go, why we were doing it and who we were interested in (as in couples or singles).

i certainly agree with those that have said you still seem unsure as to what you want and really could do with talking ti over some more.

also agree with the soft play same room first as a start point, as, seeing as you want a single fem your missus has to come to terms with you having sex with another woman, and she may well not enjoy the reality of it, whereas with soft play, single or couple, you both have the same level of involvement.

MAYBE a social could work for you (shirlyntemple have started doing one in dudley, try hitting them up and attend) but again, we have only just been to our first social, so its not necesarily something to sort feelings or ideas out from.

the best thing i would suggest is get out and meet people/couples. get your self confidence in this area up. most of our veri's are from purely social meets. if it goes further then fantastic, if not, you have had a nice afternoon out with decent company.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a little thing but its all you on your profile why not have Rach put something on your profile if it is a joint profile. As there is not much to go on.

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