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respect and consent

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Don't know if i have completely lost touch here or something...

I sent a message to someone and they replied with a emoji.

I replied... "just the thumb? more fingers surely?"

She then replied she did not consent to being spoken to sexually and that I had "crossed the line on respect and consent."

I am a really respectful guy, but I am also a little cheeky banter-wise. Especially when on a site aimed at people with sexual interests.

I am fully apologetic and feel terrible that I have offended her as no offence was meant...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't know if i have completely lost touch here or something...

I sent a message to someone and they replied with a emoji.

I replied... "just the thumb? more fingers surely?"

She then replied she did not consent to being spoken to sexually and that I had "crossed the line on respect and consent."

I am a really respectful guy, but I am also a little cheeky banter-wise. Especially when on a site aimed at people with sexual interests.

I am fully apologetic and feel terrible that I have offended her as no offence was meant... "

To quote Stephen Fry;

It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island


"Don't know if i have completely lost touch here or something...

I sent a message to someone and they replied with a emoji.

I replied... "just the thumb? more fingers surely?"

She then replied she did not consent to being spoken to sexually and that I had "crossed the line on respect and consent."

I am a really respectful guy, but I am also a little cheeky banter-wise. Especially when on a site aimed at people with sexual interests.

I am fully apologetic and feel terrible that I have offended her as no offence was meant... "

Its just the way of the world don't let it get you down, people suck.

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By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds


"Don't know if i have completely lost touch here or something...

I sent a message to someone and they replied with a emoji.

I replied... "just the thumb? more fingers surely?"

She then replied she did not consent to being spoken to sexually and that I had "crossed the line on respect and consent."

I am a really respectful guy, but I am also a little cheeky banter-wise. Especially when on a site aimed at people with sexual interests.

I am fully apologetic and feel terrible that I have offended her as no offence was meant... "

It just means you found out pretty early on that you weren't compatible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her to go and find a safe space and be a snowflake there

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

To quote Stephen Fry;

It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what"

love it. Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Tell her to go and find a safe space and be a snowflake there"

Seriously bothered me at the time as I would hate to offender anyone. But it's not like I walked in to the local wi meeting and started groping people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

It just means you found out pretty early on that you weren't compatible."

So very true.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

To be fair we've only one side of the story here.

One person's banter may well come across as crude to someone else.

Never mind, look at it as a learning curve.

Onwards and upwards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't know if i have completely lost touch here or something...

I sent a message to someone and they replied with a emoji.

I replied... "just the thumb? more fingers surely?"

She then replied she did not consent to being spoken to sexually and that I had "crossed the line on respect and consent."

I am a really respectful guy, but I am also a little cheeky banter-wise. Especially when on a site aimed at people with sexual interests.

I am fully apologetic and feel terrible that I have offended her as no offence was meant... "

Was that only your second message to her? I'd not be offended in the same way but I'd probably think you were getting ahead of yourself after only one response...

Cheeky chappie often aren't as funny as they think they are and banter can often cross the line when it's someone you don't really know...

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham


"Don't know if i have completely lost touch here or something...

I sent a message to someone and they replied with a emoji.

I replied... "just the thumb? more fingers surely?"

She then replied she did not consent to being spoken to sexually and that I had "crossed the line on respect and consent."

I am a really respectful guy, but I am also a little cheeky banter-wise. Especially when on a site aimed at people with sexual interests.

I am fully apologetic and feel terrible that I have offended her as no offence was meant...

Was that only your second message to her? I'd not be offended in the same way but I'd probably think you were getting ahead of yourself after only one response...

Cheeky chappie often aren't as funny as they think they are and banter can often cross the line when it's someone you don't really know..."

Indeed!

Chat that turns sexual/suggestive quickly is a big red flag for many of us on here. I think I would probably have blocked the OP if he'd sent me something similar.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

In the context of the situation, I'd say that your response was a little forwards, her response was excessive in the context that you've relayed.

However I will point out that we never know the situation with anyone that we're messaging. Her response may have been totally proportionate from her point of view, she may have had five sexually suggestive messages on the bounce, to which each garnered a similar response.

The way that I see it regarding messaging is to always err on the side of caution. Your "cheeky chappy" could just come across as sexually aggressive and overbearing. Remember that ladies can get hundreds of messages a day, working through them is soul destroying at times.

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