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Racial Stereotyping on Fab

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By *onguesandpuns OP   Man
over a year ago

East Midlands

Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

Fighting a losing battle I'm afraid. People will defend it as their 'preference' and its their right to choose. What can ya do?

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By *andyMinx_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

Leeds

I made a black man very happy tonight. Happy to help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The article has very little to do with swinging......as previously stated, it’s preference. Some people like black

Men with large cocks. Personally, I don’t and have no problem with those that do.

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"Fighting a losing battle I'm afraid. People will defend it as their 'preference' and its their right to choose. What can ya do? "

Nothing need be done. It IS their preference and right to choose. Should people change their right to choose simply because it's a swinging site?

A vegan can go into McDonald's for a coffee. But it doesn't mean they have to order a double cheeseburger just because of the environment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fighting a losing battle I'm afraid. People will defend it as their 'preference' and its their right to choose. What can ya do?

Nothing need be done. It IS their preference and right to choose. Should people change their right to choose simply because it's a swinging site?

A vegan can go into McDonald's for a coffee. But it doesn't mean they have to order a double cheeseburger just because of the environment. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

"

What do you think should be done?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

A vegan can go into McDonald's for a coffee. But it doesn't mean they have to order a double cheeseburger just because of the environment. "

In am endless debate regarding this on Fab, this has to be the best answer yet. Brilliant.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

...and yet the vast majority of black men that message me define themselves by the size of their cock and reference their colour or size in their profile name.

They also attend parties entitled something like ‘donkey dick’ or ‘dark desires’.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

What’s the relevance of site supporter?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to say a lot of black men’s profiles thar I have seen have been based around being a BBC.....those people therefore appear to play on the ‘racial stereotyping’....

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"

A vegan can go into McDonald's for a coffee. But it doesn't mean they have to order a double cheeseburger just because of the environment.

In am endless debate regarding this on Fab, this has to be the best answer yet. Brilliant. "

Why thank you

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

I thought BBC meant big bald cock.

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth


"...and yet the vast majority of black men that message me define themselves by the size of their cock and reference their colour or size in their profile name.

They also attend parties entitled something like ‘donkey dick’ or ‘dark desires’. "

Yes, the number of guys who message me saying I'm a BBC. Not even I HAVE a BBC. I guess people feel they have to use what they have to stand out but I'd prefer the integrity of someone who just says I'm a man, fancy a meet rather than giving into the temptation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely as a site all about sex. It’s about meeting people you find attractive. Everyone has certain traits they like. Personally I don’t like fat gingers, but should I sleep with them so I don’t upset them?

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple


"Surely as a site all about sex. It’s about meeting people you find attractive. Everyone has certain traits they like. Personally I don’t like fat gingers, but should I sleep with them so I don’t upset them? "

Of course ha ha

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By *aturedisgracefully!!Couple
over a year ago

Leicester


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

"

These types of posts DO attract attention to the OP, but as above never many positive ones.

Choosing who you want or do not want to play with or meet is not racial stereotyping, just people using their freedom of choice.

Being cynical though, at least it gets people looking at your profile?

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Like BBW which I don’t like but I’ve said my piece over the forums and I can’t change people’s views but as long as I correct someone referring me as one then I’ll have to leave people to decide their own way of describing people they have a preference for!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

A vegan can go into McDonald's for a coffee. But it doesn't mean they have to order a double cheeseburger just because of the environment.

In am endless debate regarding this on Fab, this has to be the best answer yet. Brilliant. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I thought BBC meant big bald cock. "

I thought it was big beautiful cunt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely as a site all about sex. It’s about meeting people you find attractive. Everyone has certain traits they like. Personally I don’t like fat gingers, but should I sleep with them so I don’t upset them? "

Yes. Yes you should.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People from minority ethnic groups seem to be defined by their ethnicity rather than just categorised by it. And as they're a minority, it becomes fetishised. Fetishising an entire race isn't the same as having a preference - which of course everyone is entitled to, and I personally find it regressive and unpleasant. Part of that is for personal reasons though as my ex husband is black and we have mixed race children together.

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By *inxy300Woman
over a year ago

nottinghamshire


"Fighting a losing battle I'm afraid. People will defend it as their 'preference' and its their right to choose. What can ya do?

Nothing need be done. It IS their preference and right to choose. Should people change their right to choose simply because it's a swinging site?

A vegan can go into McDonald's for a coffee. But it doesn't mean they have to order a double cheeseburger just because of the environment. "

Pmsl

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Any preference *could* be seen as some kind of stereotyping OP - whether it be for skin colour, body shape, sexuality or things like hair colour or any number of other preferences each and every one of us has to one extent or another.

Are any of those preferences "-ists" or "-isms"? If the reason behind those preferences is not fuelled by lack of respect or worse (bigotry and hatred in some cases) then no not at all they're not. Choosing who you want to have sex with is a fundamental right, and if you've found that the best sex you have is with someone who is black and has a big cock, I personally don't see anything wrong with choosing to look for that.

Quite often arguments like your own are rolled out on here by those who can't get meets, and so seek something to blame for not doing so, I'm not saying that is the case here but it happens where people looking for a specific thing are called out because it excludes someone else, kind of reverse "-ism" if you like.

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING


"I thought BBC meant big bald cock.

I thought it was big beautiful cunt. "

like to think yours are more beautiful than big

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

a couple of things here.....

1) for every profile you show me that says "bbc" on it... i bet i can show you one that says "no blacks"...... would this be the same racial stereotyping that you seem to be objecting to?.......

2) preference! their body, their rules!.... people are here to have fun, they are not here to provide a service to all and sundry......

3) the whole BBC thing will only ever end if:

a)people make it known of their distaste for it all by not advertising or the point gets across that they are actually turning off as many of their target audience as they do turn on....

b)black guys having more self respect for themselves by not having their whole being defined by part of their body

none of that is happening anytime soon...... whilst people see it as an advantage to getting their leg over they will use when it work... or complain when it doesn't!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

"

People of colour!?

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

If you see statements or preferences on profiles use that information as a filter and block them. We all have our own tastes/fantasies/desires and Most of us are selective about who we engage with sexually, some are just upfront about it. If somebody states they only wants black men with big cocks all the white or Asian men know not to waste their time communicating. Just as, If they state they don’t like beards or bald men or big ladies we know not to contact them. And just because we don’t find certain types sexually attractive it does not mean we don’t like them as individuals, I’m sure most of us have friends of all shapes, sizes, races, hair colours etc. Who we enjoy spending time with, we just don’t get turned on by them.

Lou x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said... Promotion in this 'field' is fine when it advantageous to certain indivuals... Hypocrisy lifting its' head once again...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

People of colour!? "

"People of colour" is a perfectly acceptable decriptor, famously and most recently championed by Michelle Obama and her husband

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"Well said... Promotion in this 'field' is fine when it advantageous to certain indivuals... Hypocrisy lifting its' head once again..."

Not hipocracy at all - we all highlight the positives about ourselves whatever they might be, and if there is a demographic that looks for a particular positive, why wouldn't we "promote" it?

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By *onguesandpuns OP   Man
over a year ago

East Midlands

This is exactly what I think, but you've said it much more eloquently than me. Thanks

What a number of folks responding to this haven't appreciated is that the term 'BBC' is absolutely loaded with racial stereotyping, which goes back to when black men were subjugated by whites and thought of (amongst other terrible things) as savages from the jungle.

Let's be absolutely clear, there's nowt wrong with having a preference and appreciation for well hung black men, but surely there are better ways to express that preference?

Another article on the issue:

https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/living-with-the-myth-of-the-big-black-cock

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By *onguesandpuns OP   Man
over a year ago

East Midlands

Anyone who thinks I've posted this thread to 'draw attention to my profile'. I mean c'mon! Seriously?! I posted because I find the language regressive and I think we, as a community, could and should do better!

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By *onguesandpuns OP   Man
over a year ago

East Midlands

Some good points made there. I know nothings gonna change soon, but it does feel like if these conversations are never had then it never will!

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone


"This is exactly what I think, but you've said it much more eloquently than me. Thanks

What a number of folks responding to this haven't appreciated is that the term 'BBC' is absolutely loaded with racial stereotyping, which goes back to when black men were subjugated by whites and thought of (amongst other terrible things) as savages from the jungle.

Let's be absolutely clear, there's nowt wrong with having a preference and appreciation for well hung black men, but surely there are better ways to express that preference?

Another article on the issue:

https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/living-with-the-myth-of-the-big-black-cock

"

All I get from that is that the lesser-endowed black man feels insecure that they can’t live up to the stereotype, I’m not sure those black men with a larger appendage would feel so offended.

More fool the people who only target the black men in the hope he’s going to be hung like a horse, the man in question could be seen as the one using the myth to his advantage. And ultimately, if he, or anyone else, feels they are being used as some sort of fetish accessory they do have a choice as to whether or not they proceed.

Lou x

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact


"Fighting a losing battle I'm afraid. People will defend it as their 'preference' and its their right to choose. What can ya do?

Nothing need be done. It IS their preference and right to choose. Should people change their right to choose simply because it's a swinging site?

A vegan can go into McDonald's for a coffee. But it doesn't mean they have to order a double cheeseburger just because of the environment. "

For clarification I agree. People are entitled to a preference. Regarding the regressive connotations of the term BBC, I think the black population has bigger fish to fry than concerns over a stereotype which is of some actual benefit to them. Haven't read the articles so maybe I am missing part of the argument.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London


"Anyone who thinks I've posted this thread to 'draw attention to my profile'. I mean c'mon! Seriously?! I posted because I find the language regressive and I think we, as a community, could and should do better! "

You seem to be missing the point of every post on your thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Preference and discrimination are two totally different things that people confuse for the same thing on here.

No point discussing it because it’s very hard to understand unless you’re on the receiving end.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

2. There are some sexual preferences essentially based on racist stereotypes. The BBC fetish being one of them.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

2. There are some sexual preferences essentially based on racist stereotypes. The BBC fetish being one of them. "

If you'd used the word "racial" instead of "racist" then I'd agree with you - "racist" however infers being against something which those with that particular sexual preference clearly are not.

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose."

That's the thing. "Consensual sex with anyone they choose" seem to be words that some people find impossible to comprehend. You could almost believe that freedom of choice is becoming unacceptable, being eroded away. And that you must, without question, do what another demands of you in case refusal offends them. This, of course, is irrelevant of your personal feelings.

It's a pretty sad state of affairs really.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

2. There are some sexual preferences essentially based on racist stereotypes. The BBC fetish being one of them.

If you'd used the word "racial" instead of "racist" then I'd agree with you - "racist" however infers being against something which those with that particular sexual preference clearly are not."

I suspect it derives from earlier racist tropes around ideas of barbarism, brute strength, and increased virility. Some may still hold those views.

I find it uncomfortable, but don't wish to deny individual autonomy even where broader cultural ideas require scrutiny.

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By *andemanMan
over a year ago

bedforshire

Well I have had this debate a doz times so for the bakers, people who just have a genuine "preferance" ok each to there own. There is also the "tabo" desire to taste the "forbbiden" and that objectifies the person and really people need to grow up from that.

More intetestingly the "preferance" argument seams to be applied to Black Men 5 times more often than to Black Woman. Asian Men seam to get a lot of negative value from thier Blackness as a great deal of posts say, "no asians its just our preference".

So in conclusion, while it by no means applies to everyone on Fab, a substancial number of people would turn down Asian Men, objectify Black Men, and fuck any woman regardless of thier stated "Preferance".

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

2. There are some sexual preferences essentially based on racist stereotypes. The BBC fetish being one of them.

If you'd used the word "racial" instead of "racist" then I'd agree with you - "racist" however infers being against something which those with that particular sexual preference clearly are not."

It is possible to feed into certain racist stereotypes about, say, black people without feeding into all of them.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

2. There are some sexual preferences essentially based on racist stereotypes. The BBC fetish being one of them.

If you'd used the word "racial" instead of "racist" then I'd agree with you - "racist" however infers being against something which those with that particular sexual preference clearly are not.

I suspect it derives from earlier racist tropes around ideas of barbarism, brute strength, and increased virility. Some may still hold those views.

I find it uncomfortable, but don't wish to deny individual autonomy even where broader cultural ideas require scrutiny. "

My succinct summary is that you can be as racist as fuck when choosing with whom you have sex with.

But let's not deceive ourselves about what's going on.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

2. There are some sexual preferences essentially based on racist stereotypes. The BBC fetish being one of them.

If you'd used the word "racial" instead of "racist" then I'd agree with you - "racist" however infers being against something which those with that particular sexual preference clearly are not.

I suspect it derives from earlier racist tropes around ideas of barbarism, brute strength, and increased virility. Some may still hold those views.

I find it uncomfortable, but don't wish to deny individual autonomy even where broader cultural ideas require scrutiny.

My succinct summary is that you can be as racist as fuck when choosing with whom you have sex with.

But let's not deceive ourselves about what's going on. "

Agreed entirely.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

2. There are some sexual preferences essentially based on racist stereotypes. The BBC fetish being one of them.

If you'd used the word "racial" instead of "racist" then I'd agree with you - "racist" however infers being against something which those with that particular sexual preference clearly are not.

I suspect it derives from earlier racist tropes around ideas of barbarism, brute strength, and increased virility. Some may still hold those views.

I find it uncomfortable, but don't wish to deny individual autonomy even where broader cultural ideas require scrutiny.

My succinct summary is that you can be as racist as fuck when choosing with whom you have sex with.

But let's not deceive ourselves about what's going on.

Agreed entirely. "

I think a lot of the confusion is around the idea that calling something racist is saying that you shouldn't be allowed to do it.

That's not necessarily the case. You shouldn't be allowed to be racist in public spheres as that impacts on others. If you want to be racist in private spheres, amongst family, friends and sexual partners say, that's up to you. People who don't like that kind of thing can choose not be friends with you or have sex with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

People of colour!?

"People of colour" is a perfectly acceptable decriptor, famously and most recently championed by Michelle Obama and her husband "

People of colour? I haven't come across a "person of colour" that describes themselves as that. What are they? Rainbow coloured?

And if you describe black as people of colour what are white people? Colourless?

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

2. There are some sexual preferences essentially based on racist stereotypes. The BBC fetish being one of them.

If you'd used the word "racial" instead of "racist" then I'd agree with you - "racist" however infers being against something which those with that particular sexual preference clearly are not.

It is possible to feed into certain racist stereotypes about, say, black people without feeding into all of them. "

There's still a distinct difference between a "racial stereotype" and a "racist stereotype" though by my definition

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By *ain n MableWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

I fail to see how something that is factual can be stereotyping? If a black guy calls himself a BBC then two 100% facts are that he is black and he has a cock, the other is subjective but if he has a 9inch penis I think that also becomes a fact. If a lady/couple wish to meet a BBC then all it is is an acronym, not a stereotype.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

2. There are some sexual preferences essentially based on racist stereotypes. The BBC fetish being one of them.

If you'd used the word "racial" instead of "racist" then I'd agree with you - "racist" however infers being against something which those with that particular sexual preference clearly are not.

I suspect it derives from earlier racist tropes around ideas of barbarism, brute strength, and increased virility. Some may still hold those views.

I find it uncomfortable, but don't wish to deny individual autonomy even where broader cultural ideas require scrutiny.

My succinct summary is that you can be as racist as fuck when choosing with whom you have sex with.

But let's not deceive ourselves about what's going on.

Agreed entirely.

I think a lot of the confusion is around the idea that calling something racist is saying that you shouldn't be allowed to do it.

That's not necessarily the case. You shouldn't be allowed to be racist in public spheres as that impacts on others. If you want to be racist in private spheres, amongst family, friends and sexual partners say, that's up to you. People who don't like that kind of thing can choose not be friends with you or have sex with you. "

Indeed. I feel this is a case of choosing what's worse, and individual autonomy trumps here. Tackling broader stereotypes requires different action.

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By *annyhugeoneMan
over a year ago

Miltonkeynes

So should we stop using terms like BBW and BWC and ATM etc. It's a simple abbreviation and I really don't see the issue.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

2. There are some sexual preferences essentially based on racist stereotypes. The BBC fetish being one of them.

If you'd used the word "racial" instead of "racist" then I'd agree with you - "racist" however infers being against something which those with that particular sexual preference clearly are not.

It is possible to feed into certain racist stereotypes about, say, black people without feeding into all of them.

There's still a distinct difference between a "racial stereotype" and a "racist stereotype" though by my definition "

I would say a racist stereotype is one that ascribes negative characteristic to an ethnic group. I would say the stereotype that ascribes hyper sexuality to black men is such a stereotype and it is that stereotype from which the BBC fetish derives.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

Why are other people offended by terms not used at them. I get messages from guys on a regular basis asking if I like BBC... from guys who obviously feel they fit that criteria.

It's like someone got offended for me last week when a guy said in chat he doesn't like big girls.. it was the guys choice x

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

2. There are some sexual preferences essentially based on racist stereotypes. The BBC fetish being one of them.

If you'd used the word "racial" instead of "racist" then I'd agree with you - "racist" however infers being against something which those with that particular sexual preference clearly are not.

I suspect it derives from earlier racist tropes around ideas of barbarism, brute strength, and increased virility. Some may still hold those views.

I find it uncomfortable, but don't wish to deny individual autonomy even where broader cultural ideas require scrutiny.

My succinct summary is that you can be as racist as fuck when choosing with whom you have sex with.

But let's not deceive ourselves about what's going on.

Agreed entirely.

I think a lot of the confusion is around the idea that calling something racist is saying that you shouldn't be allowed to do it.

That's not necessarily the case. You shouldn't be allowed to be racist in public spheres as that impacts on others. If you want to be racist in private spheres, amongst family, friends and sexual partners say, that's up to you. People who don't like that kind of thing can choose not be friends with you or have sex with you.

Indeed. I feel this is a case of choosing what's worse, and individual autonomy trumps here. Tackling broader stereotypes requires different action. "

It's fundamentally about the right to privacy. I think it's extremely important that people have the right to be as obnoxious as they like in private. Otherwise we're into Thought Police territory.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

2. There are some sexual preferences essentially based on racist stereotypes. The BBC fetish being one of them.

If you'd used the word "racial" instead of "racist" then I'd agree with you - "racist" however infers being against something which those with that particular sexual preference clearly are not.

I suspect it derives from earlier racist tropes around ideas of barbarism, brute strength, and increased virility. Some may still hold those views.

I find it uncomfortable, but don't wish to deny individual autonomy even where broader cultural ideas require scrutiny.

My succinct summary is that you can be as racist as fuck when choosing with whom you have sex with.

But let's not deceive ourselves about what's going on.

Agreed entirely.

I think a lot of the confusion is around the idea that calling something racist is saying that you shouldn't be allowed to do it.

That's not necessarily the case. You shouldn't be allowed to be racist in public spheres as that impacts on others. If you want to be racist in private spheres, amongst family, friends and sexual partners say, that's up to you. People who don't like that kind of thing can choose not be friends with you or have sex with you.

Indeed. I feel this is a case of choosing what's worse, and individual autonomy trumps here. Tackling broader stereotypes requires different action.

It's fundamentally about the right to privacy. I think it's extremely important that people have the right to be as obnoxious as they like in private. Otherwise we're into Thought Police territory. "

Sure. We're on different points on the spectrum on this one, but I think any influence here should be indirect and broader. Ultimately with the aim of individual influence, but not as intrusive.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Why are other people offended by terms not used at them. I get messages from guys on a regular basis asking if I like BBC... from guys who obviously feel they fit that criteria.

It's like someone got offended for me last week when a guy said in chat he doesn't like big girls.. it was the guys choice x "

I don't make a thing of it outside discussions like these. But applying attributes to someone because of their skin colour, national heritage etc, is often racist (even where they might seem positive or have positive impact). I don't want to live in a racist society.

People can seek and fuck who they like, but the thought patterns behind these things are worth examining.

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By *atcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Suffolk - East Anglia


"Fighting a losing battle I'm afraid. People will defend it as their 'preference' and its their right to choose. What can ya do?

Nothing need be done. It IS their preference and right to choose. Should people change their right to choose simply because it's a swinging site?

A vegan can go into McDonald's for a coffee. But it doesn't mean they have to order a double cheeseburger just because of the environment. "

great analogy and totally agree.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

2. There are some sexual preferences essentially based on racist stereotypes. The BBC fetish being one of them.

If you'd used the word "racial" instead of "racist" then I'd agree with you - "racist" however infers being against something which those with that particular sexual preference clearly are not.

I suspect it derives from earlier racist tropes around ideas of barbarism, brute strength, and increased virility. Some may still hold those views.

I find it uncomfortable, but don't wish to deny individual autonomy even where broader cultural ideas require scrutiny.

My succinct summary is that you can be as racist as fuck when choosing with whom you have sex with.

But let's not deceive ourselves about what's going on.

Agreed entirely.

I think a lot of the confusion is around the idea that calling something racist is saying that you shouldn't be allowed to do it.

That's not necessarily the case. You shouldn't be allowed to be racist in public spheres as that impacts on others. If you want to be racist in private spheres, amongst family, friends and sexual partners say, that's up to you. People who don't like that kind of thing can choose not be friends with you or have sex with you.

Indeed. I feel this is a case of choosing what's worse, and individual autonomy trumps here. Tackling broader stereotypes requires different action.

It's fundamentally about the right to privacy. I think it's extremely important that people have the right to be as obnoxious as they like in private. Otherwise we're into Thought Police territory.

Sure. We're on different points on the spectrum on this one, but I think any influence here should be indirect and broader. Ultimately with the aim of individual influence, but not as intrusive. "

I'm all for rational discussion of people's views and the assumptions behind them. Bit like we're doing here.

I suppose what I jib against is any kind of inquisition, whether state or society based, where "wrong think" is actively sought out and condemned.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton


"Fighting a losing battle I'm afraid. People will defend it as their 'preference' and its their right to choose. What can ya do?

Nothing need be done. It IS their preference and right to choose. Should people change their right to choose simply because it's a swinging site?

A vegan can go into McDonald's for a coffee. But it doesn't mean they have to order a double cheeseburger just because of the environment. "

The example is wrong in regard to race on Fab and swinging. In my experience the correct illustration is being hungry and most of the restaurants on the high street will let you in but won't serve you because you are black. The high street has only two restaurants at which you will get served as a black man. Although in one you will only be served if you conform to the stereotype of BBC. [The above is an illustration for explanation, sex is not guaranteed at any interracial party even if you are black.]

Therefore the response is for black men (and the women who like black men) to set up their own pop up restaurant advertised for people who have no problems mingling with black men. Hence the interracial parties, where at least you know as a black man you have a good chance of playing whereas in a mainstream party the chances are low.

Therefore when people say black men write to them emphasising the stereotypical aspects. The reason is because that is basically the only succesful form of marketing for black men. Emphasing intelligence, sense of humour or other characteristic does not cut it.

In my view despite the 'supposed prevelence' of interracial sex my experience is that British society is still very ringfenced and in reality outside of the big cities and towns it is not very common.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

2. There are some sexual preferences essentially based on racist stereotypes. The BBC fetish being one of them.

If you'd used the word "racial" instead of "racist" then I'd agree with you - "racist" however infers being against something which those with that particular sexual preference clearly are not.

It is possible to feed into certain racist stereotypes about, say, black people without feeding into all of them.

There's still a distinct difference between a "racial stereotype" and a "racist stereotype" though by my definition

I would say a racist stereotype is one that ascribes negative characteristic to an ethnic group. I would say the stereotype that ascribes hyper sexuality to black men is such a stereotype and it is that stereotype from which the BBC fetish derives. "

I'd disagree that particular characteristic is ascribed either negatively or to a whole group though which may be the underlying difference - yes it's a fetish for some, and a preference for others but is racist? I personally don't think so, is it racial? By it's definition it is.

Is it any different from VWE, BBW or any other acronym that is descriptive? Not at all.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

2. There are some sexual preferences essentially based on racist stereotypes. The BBC fetish being one of them.

If you'd used the word "racial" instead of "racist" then I'd agree with you - "racist" however infers being against something which those with that particular sexual preference clearly are not.

It is possible to feed into certain racist stereotypes about, say, black people without feeding into all of them.

There's still a distinct difference between a "racial stereotype" and a "racist stereotype" though by my definition

I would say a racist stereotype is one that ascribes negative characteristic to an ethnic group. I would say the stereotype that ascribes hyper sexuality to black men is such a stereotype and it is that stereotype from which the BBC fetish derives.

I'd disagree that particular characteristic is ascribed either negatively or to a whole group though which may be the underlying difference - yes it's a fetish for some, and a preference for others but is racist? I personally don't think so, is it racial? By it's definition it is.

Is it any different from VWE, BBW or any other acronym that is descriptive? Not at all."

I'd say it is because there's a whole history of racist stereotyping around black men having uncontrolled hyper sexuality and thus being dangerous to white women and being physical rather than intellectual beings.

The whole BBC fetish is based on that.

As I say, if that's what you're into fill your boots, but let's know what we're into.

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By *uffrider50Man
over a year ago

hornchurch


"I thought BBC meant big bald cock. "

I thought BBC was Big Brown Cock

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

2. There are some sexual preferences essentially based on racist stereotypes. The BBC fetish being one of them.

If you'd used the word "racial" instead of "racist" then I'd agree with you - "racist" however infers being against something which those with that particular sexual preference clearly are not.

I suspect it derives from earlier racist tropes around ideas of barbarism, brute strength, and increased virility. Some may still hold those views.

I find it uncomfortable, but don't wish to deny individual autonomy even where broader cultural ideas require scrutiny.

My succinct summary is that you can be as racist as fuck when choosing with whom you have sex with.

But let's not deceive ourselves about what's going on.

Agreed entirely.

I think a lot of the confusion is around the idea that calling something racist is saying that you shouldn't be allowed to do it.

That's not necessarily the case. You shouldn't be allowed to be racist in public spheres as that impacts on others. If you want to be racist in private spheres, amongst family, friends and sexual partners say, that's up to you. People who don't like that kind of thing can choose not be friends with you or have sex with you.

Indeed. I feel this is a case of choosing what's worse, and individual autonomy trumps here. Tackling broader stereotypes requires different action.

It's fundamentally about the right to privacy. I think it's extremely important that people have the right to be as obnoxious as they like in private. Otherwise we're into Thought Police territory.

Sure. We're on different points on the spectrum on this one, but I think any influence here should be indirect and broader. Ultimately with the aim of individual influence, but not as intrusive.

I'm all for rational discussion of people's views and the assumptions behind them. Bit like we're doing here.

I suppose what I jib against is any kind of inquisition, whether state or society based, where "wrong think" is actively sought out and condemned. "

Fair enough. Whereas I think some negative persuasion about stigma and prejudice is warranted. Not necessarily "You're not allowed to think X", but, for example, it's really not cool to think (bad thing) about (minority group), and you'll probably suffer social consequences if you do it publicly. I think that kind of thing does have to have a big, broad base.

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By *orseydaveMan
over a year ago

Norwich NR5

Its all a load of bollox...If the ones contantly going on about it shut up, the vast majority of the world will just get on with their lives without it being an issue.

Personally I think the whole worlds gone mad, youngsters think they know everything but their track record is that they have improved nothing and fucked up 99% of what they have interfered with.

Here in Norwich we have a road called Blackwoman Lane, no one ever mentions it, yet in some parts of the country it would become an issue. Live and let live I say, and if a woman wants a BBC, let her have it

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Oh please. I will pick what willy id like to sit on and I won’t be told off for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/03/19 13:01:57]

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

2. There are some sexual preferences essentially based on racist stereotypes. The BBC fetish being one of them.

If you'd used the word "racial" instead of "racist" then I'd agree with you - "racist" however infers being against something which those with that particular sexual preference clearly are not.

I suspect it derives from earlier racist tropes around ideas of barbarism, brute strength, and increased virility. Some may still hold those views.

I find it uncomfortable, but don't wish to deny individual autonomy even where broader cultural ideas require scrutiny.

My succinct summary is that you can be as racist as fuck when choosing with whom you have sex with.

But let's not deceive ourselves about what's going on.

Agreed entirely.

I think a lot of the confusion is around the idea that calling something racist is saying that you shouldn't be allowed to do it.

That's not necessarily the case. You shouldn't be allowed to be racist in public spheres as that impacts on others. If you want to be racist in private spheres, amongst family, friends and sexual partners say, that's up to you. People who don't like that kind of thing can choose not be friends with you or have sex with you.

Indeed. I feel this is a case of choosing what's worse, and individual autonomy trumps here. Tackling broader stereotypes requires different action.

It's fundamentally about the right to privacy. I think it's extremely important that people have the right to be as obnoxious as they like in private. Otherwise we're into Thought Police territory.

Sure. We're on different points on the spectrum on this one, but I think any influence here should be indirect and broader. Ultimately with the aim of individual influence, but not as intrusive.

I'm all for rational discussion of people's views and the assumptions behind them. Bit like we're doing here.

I suppose what I jib against is any kind of inquisition, whether state or society based, where "wrong think" is actively sought out and condemned.

Fair enough. Whereas I think some negative persuasion about stigma and prejudice is warranted. Not necessarily "You're not allowed to think X", but, for example, it's really not cool to think (bad thing) about (minority group), and you'll probably suffer social consequences if you do it publicly. I think that kind of thing does have to have a big, broad base. "

I don't think anyone could live in UK society today without realising that the vast majority of people consider racism to be a bad thing.

Hence, I am not sure we need to go around looking for and shaming private racism. Apart from anything else it's likely to be counter productive as they will then consider themselves persecuted martyrs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

People of colour!?

"People of colour" is a perfectly acceptable decriptor, famously and most recently championed by Michelle Obama and her husband

People of colour? I haven't come across a "person of colour" that describes themselves as that. What are they? Rainbow coloured?

And if you describe black as people of colour what are white people? Colourless?

"

I don't know, you'd have to ask the Obamas but it seems to be an acceptable term in the US, maybe not so much here? Al Sharpton uses that phrase too, and who am I to argue with one of the greatest civil rights activists that's ever lived?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

2. There are some sexual preferences essentially based on racist stereotypes. The BBC fetish being one of them.

If you'd used the word "racial" instead of "racist" then I'd agree with you - "racist" however infers being against something which those with that particular sexual preference clearly are not.

I suspect it derives from earlier racist tropes around ideas of barbarism, brute strength, and increased virility. Some may still hold those views.

I find it uncomfortable, but don't wish to deny individual autonomy even where broader cultural ideas require scrutiny.

My succinct summary is that you can be as racist as fuck when choosing with whom you have sex with.

But let's not deceive ourselves about what's going on.

Agreed entirely.

I think a lot of the confusion is around the idea that calling something racist is saying that you shouldn't be allowed to do it.

That's not necessarily the case. You shouldn't be allowed to be racist in public spheres as that impacts on others. If you want to be racist in private spheres, amongst family, friends and sexual partners say, that's up to you. People who don't like that kind of thing can choose not be friends with you or have sex with you.

Indeed. I feel this is a case of choosing what's worse, and individual autonomy trumps here. Tackling broader stereotypes requires different action.

It's fundamentally about the right to privacy. I think it's extremely important that people have the right to be as obnoxious as they like in private. Otherwise we're into Thought Police territory.

Sure. We're on different points on the spectrum on this one, but I think any influence here should be indirect and broader. Ultimately with the aim of individual influence, but not as intrusive.

I'm all for rational discussion of people's views and the assumptions behind them. Bit like we're doing here.

I suppose what I jib against is any kind of inquisition, whether state or society based, where "wrong think" is actively sought out and condemned.

Fair enough. Whereas I think some negative persuasion about stigma and prejudice is warranted. Not necessarily "You're not allowed to think X", but, for example, it's really not cool to think (bad thing) about (minority group), and you'll probably suffer social consequences if you do it publicly. I think that kind of thing does have to have a big, broad base.

I don't think anyone could live in UK society today without realising that the vast majority of people consider racism to be a bad thing.

Hence, I am not sure we need to go around looking for and shaming private racism. Apart from anything else it's likely to be counter productive as they will then consider themselves persecuted martyrs. "

Mostly agreed. I think the boundaries shift and further discussion will always be needed, but this isn't for me about what's done in private (except that individuals can choose to apply personal consequences for behaviour they can't abide). This is about what's done in public/ in a work capacity (potentially broader for those in the public eye and/or working with vulnerable groups, but the boundaries there are going to be incredibly difficult).

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By *empsey and hotpieceMan
over a year ago

North west


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

"

Here’s my opinion on this.

The world is full of different coloured people, I don’t see how it’s racist to describe a person by their colour. People don’t get all offended by being described by their hair colour, so why is describing them by skin colour different?

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

2. There are some sexual preferences essentially based on racist stereotypes. The BBC fetish being one of them.

If you'd used the word "racial" instead of "racist" then I'd agree with you - "racist" however infers being against something which those with that particular sexual preference clearly are not.

I suspect it derives from earlier racist tropes around ideas of barbarism, brute strength, and increased virility. Some may still hold those views.

I find it uncomfortable, but don't wish to deny individual autonomy even where broader cultural ideas require scrutiny.

My succinct summary is that you can be as racist as fuck when choosing with whom you have sex with.

But let's not deceive ourselves about what's going on.

Agreed entirely.

I think a lot of the confusion is around the idea that calling something racist is saying that you shouldn't be allowed to do it.

That's not necessarily the case. You shouldn't be allowed to be racist in public spheres as that impacts on others. If you want to be racist in private spheres, amongst family, friends and sexual partners say, that's up to you. People who don't like that kind of thing can choose not be friends with you or have sex with you.

Indeed. I feel this is a case of choosing what's worse, and individual autonomy trumps here. Tackling broader stereotypes requires different action.

It's fundamentally about the right to privacy. I think it's extremely important that people have the right to be as obnoxious as they like in private. Otherwise we're into Thought Police territory.

Sure. We're on different points on the spectrum on this one, but I think any influence here should be indirect and broader. Ultimately with the aim of individual influence, but not as intrusive.

I'm all for rational discussion of people's views and the assumptions behind them. Bit like we're doing here.

I suppose what I jib against is any kind of inquisition, whether state or society based, where "wrong think" is actively sought out and condemned.

Fair enough. Whereas I think some negative persuasion about stigma and prejudice is warranted. Not necessarily "You're not allowed to think X", but, for example, it's really not cool to think (bad thing) about (minority group), and you'll probably suffer social consequences if you do it publicly. I think that kind of thing does have to have a big, broad base.

I don't think anyone could live in UK society today without realising that the vast majority of people consider racism to be a bad thing.

Hence, I am not sure we need to go around looking for and shaming private racism. Apart from anything else it's likely to be counter productive as they will then consider themselves persecuted martyrs.

Mostly agreed. I think the boundaries shift and further discussion will always be needed, but this isn't for me about what's done in private (except that individuals can choose to apply personal consequences for behaviour they can't abide). This is about what's done in public/ in a work capacity (potentially broader for those in the public eye and/or working with vulnerable groups, but the boundaries there are going to be incredibly difficult). "

That's what I said initially. Racism in public should be stamped on

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By *andemanMan
over a year ago

bedforshire


"a couple of things here.....

1) for every profile you show me that says "bbc" on it... i bet i can show you one that says "no blacks"...... would this be the same racial stereotyping that you seem to be objecting to?.......

2) preference! their body, their rules!.... people are here to have fun, they are not here to provide a service to all and sundry......

3) the whole BBC thing will only ever end if:

a)people make it known of their distaste for it all by not advertising or the point gets across that they are actually turning off as many of their target audience as they do turn on....

b)black guys having more self respect for themselves by not having their whole being defined by part of their body

none of that is happening anytime soon...... whilst people see it as an advantage to getting their leg over they will use when it work... or complain when it doesn't!"

Once again in these type of debates I find myself in full agreement with you. Sorry i did not see your post earlier.

Why do Black Men use the BBC term? See above.

Should people be defined solely by skin colour or the assumed size of thier dick? I seam to recall the speach of a great man who said he dreamed of a day when people were judged on the content of thier carictor.

I note that no one has picked up on the difference bettween the issue in relation to Black Woman. Nor the effect of the issue when Black is exchanged for Asian men.

Everyone has preferences thats fine, i dont like Bigots or Trunp voters. People are not required to sleep with anyone they do not wish to. Thats Slavery (real not pantomine). But the fact remains that a Person is the sum of Many Many factors from the way they look to the life experiences they have had and the attitudes they hold and more.

I have a preferance for people and hold that above the attraction to machines.

Societal norms in the Vanilla world hold Massive steriotype veiws on ALL of us based on this one aspect of our being sex.

Given that fact you would hope that we would understand at least vicariously the experiences of others treated that way? But saddly we seam doomed to import to this world the faults of the outside world. Sad really.

Well on to the wonderful shmorgusbord of swinging, seams fewer guests so more tasty Morsals for us Brother.

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

Here’s my opinion on this.

The world is full of different coloured people, I don’t see how it’s racist to describe a person by their colour. People don’t get all offended by being described by their hair colour, so why is describing them by skin colour different?

"

because when people use words to describe someone's race or ethnicity or faith, it can be loaded with negative connotations. 'you black/jewish/muslim so and so.'

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London

the black guys label themselves bbc all day long,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is it so difficult to hold both of the following views.

1. Everyone is entitled to complete sexual autonomy and is free to have consensual sex with anyone they choose.

That's the thing. "Consensual sex with anyone they choose" seem to be words that some people find impossible to comprehend. You could almost believe that freedom of choice is becoming unacceptable, being eroded away. And that you must, without question, do what another demands of you in case refusal offends them. This, of course, is irrelevant of your personal feelings.

It's a pretty sad state of affairs really."

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By *eriousGuyABCMan
over a year ago

( WEST OF ) Chippenham ish


"I fail to see how something that is factual can be stereotyping? If a black guy calls himself a BBC then two 100% facts are that he is black and he has a cock, the other is subjective but if he has a 9inch penis I think that also becomes a fact. If a lady/couple wish to meet a BBC then all it is is an acronym, not a stereotype.

"

Absolutely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What if someone is just not attracted to an entire group of people? E.g. Asian, Chinese, French? Some people would say they are being racist as they are excluding everyone in that group. But if they are only excluding that group for sex and nothing else then surely that's fine and not racist at all.

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact


"What if someone is just not attracted to an entire group of people? E.g. Asian, Chinese, French? Some people would say they are being racist as they are excluding everyone in that group. But if they are only excluding that group for sex and nothing else then surely that's fine and not racist at all. "
speaking as a chinese... I have no problem if people don't wanna fuck me based on my ethnicity. Is what it is. Not like I'm being discriminated against for a job. Unless I'm applying to be a russian spy. I can understand why i might fail on that.

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By *rs slut n himCouple
over a year ago

dartford

People have a choice... get over it.... folk meet who they like!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can we have alternative descriptions .

LWC little white cock.

FWC fat white cock.

BST big saggy tits.

LPT little pert tits .

Its all down to abbreviations and preferences.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

"

Id just like to pick up on one of your original points here OP, you base a lot of your observations on the premise that this site is full of inclusive and broadminded people. That this is a community of enlightened individuals who, because we all have an open attitude to sex, also have an enlightened attitude towards sexuality, race, gender or kink/fetish.

I hate to burst your bubble OP. Yes you will find some like that here, some of them have posted on this thread. You will also find very closed minded and bigoted people too.

Think of fab as a microcosm of the internet as a whole, with more risqué pictures.

I once thought as you do, the realisation however was rather disheartening.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What if someone is just not attracted to an entire group of people? E.g. Asian, Chinese, French? Some people would say they are being racist as they are excluding everyone in that group. But if they are only excluding that group for sex and nothing else then surely that's fine and not racist at all. speaking as a chinese... I have no problem if people don't wanna fuck me based on my ethnicity. Is what it is. Not like I'm being discriminated against for a job. Unless I'm applying to be a russian spy. I can understand why i might fail on that. "

Do they advertise for Russian spies? They get to go visit tourist area. Might be a good job, give it a go.

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact


"What if someone is just not attracted to an entire group of people? E.g. Asian, Chinese, French? Some people would say they are being racist as they are excluding everyone in that group. But if they are only excluding that group for sex and nothing else then surely that's fine and not racist at all. speaking as a chinese... I have no problem if people don't wanna fuck me based on my ethnicity. Is what it is. Not like I'm being discriminated against for a job. Unless I'm applying to be a russian spy. I can understand why i might fail on that.

Do they advertise for Russian spies? They get to go visit tourist area. Might be a good job, give it a go. "

can't... Im already working for those koreans.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great post Op...

I think the only way forward is for Fab to mandate than every woman and couple has to sleep with a black guy or be banned...

This will be a history making moment for social justice ....

On a side note......

Please don’t be offended on the behalf of black men..... We are intelligent enough to voice our opinions if something offends us....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

"

yes,,some blatant racism on here

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By *eedsortingMan
over a year ago

Radley

Like most topics there's a whole lot more to it than just a simple, binary, black and white (forgive the unintended pun) answer. To the OP I think the view is misplaced. I think it is a sexual stereotype that is a sort of hang over from porn which then spilled over into life. And people who are using the term as something they are looking for I don't believe is intended as a racial stereotype but a sexual preference. People may also put on their profiles about who they don't want to see which can come across as a racial stereotype or even a slur, but again, it is almost certainly going to be because:

a) They don't get turned on by people with whatever characteristic they are saying they don't want to meet

b) They may have had a number of bad experiences and have found that they don't want to risk another one

c) A combination of A and B

The question to the OP is why do you think Fab needs to do something about it? Do you want to influence and change what people's sexual preferences are because they don't fit in with your personal view of "correctness"? Maybe you are quite happy to be open to meeting and maybe even having sexual experiences with any nationality, shape, size, colour, diversity. If so, cool. Good for you. But that's you. Not everyone is the same and some people are quite specific about what they like. And that preference may be something they have evolved to over a period of some time and considerable experience.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"Great post Op...

I think the only way forward is for Fab to mandate than every woman and couple has to sleep with a black guy or be banned...

This will be a history making moment for social justice ....

On a side note......

Please don’t be offended on the behalf of black men..... We are intelligent enough to voice our opinions if something offends us...."

Well said!

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By *rs slut n himCouple
over a year ago

dartford


"Like most topics there's a whole lot more to it than just a simple, binary, black and white (forgive the unintended pun) answer. To the OP I think the view is misplaced. I think it is a sexual stereotype that is a sort of hang over from porn which then spilled over into life. And people who are using the term as something they are looking for I don't believe is intended as a racial stereotype but a sexual preference. People may also put on their profiles about who they don't want to see which can come across as a racial stereotype or even a slur, but again, it is almost certainly going to be because:

a) They don't get turned on by people with whatever characteristic they are saying they don't want to meet

b) They may have had a number of bad experiences and have found that they don't want to risk another one

c) A combination of A and B

The question to the OP is why do you think Fab needs to do something about it? Do you want to influence and change what people's sexual preferences are because they don't fit in with your personal view of "correctness"? Maybe you are quite happy to be open to meeting and maybe even having sexual experiences with any nationality, shape, size, colour, diversity. If so, cool. Good for you. But that's you. Not everyone is the same and some people are quite specific about what they like. And that preference may be something they have evolved to over a period of some time and considerable experience. "

well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm just here for the D, no matter what colour it is.

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

Without meaning to cause offence to anyone, why are these threads always started by a concerned white guy?

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"Without meaning to cause offence to anyone, why are these threads always started by a concerned white guy?

"

Because often they think that people will admire them for their empathy, personally I find it in bad taste, if some black men want to be referred to as bbc, it's got feck all to do with anyone else.

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.


"Without meaning to cause offence to anyone, why are these threads always started by a concerned white guy?

Because often they think that people will admire them for their empathy, personally I find it in bad taste, if some black men want to be referred to as bbc, it's got feck all to do with anyone else.

"

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By *eedsortingMan
over a year ago

Radley


"Like most topics there's a whole lot more to it than just a simple, binary, black and white (forgive the unintended pun) answer. To the OP I think the view is misplaced. I think it is a sexual stereotype that is a sort of hang over from porn which then spilled over into life. And people who are using the term as something they are looking for I don't believe is intended as a racial stereotype but a sexual preference. People may also put on their profiles about who they don't want to see which can come across as a racial stereotype or even a slur, but again, it is almost certainly going to be because:

a) They don't get turned on by people with whatever characteristic they are saying they don't want to meet

b) They may have had a number of bad experiences and have found that they don't want to risk another one

c) A combination of A and B

The question to the OP is why do you think Fab needs to do something about it? Do you want to influence and change what people's sexual preferences are because they don't fit in with your personal view of "correctness"? Maybe you are quite happy to be open to meeting and maybe even having sexual experiences with any nationality, shape, size, colour, diversity. If so, cool. Good for you. But that's you. Not everyone is the same and some people are quite specific about what they like. And that preference may be something they have evolved to over a period of some time and considerable experience. well said "

Thank you

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By *halMan
over a year ago

North West


"I have to say a lot of black men’s profiles thar I have seen have been based around being a BBC.....those people therefore appear to play on the ‘racial stereotyping’.... "

?? % agree x

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By *halMan
over a year ago

North West


"I'm just here for the D, no matter what colour it is."

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact


"I'm just here for the D, no matter what colour it is."
great! Mine is green!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm just here for the D, no matter what colour it is.great! Mine is green! "

Dip it in Dettol, it should be fine

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By *onguesandpuns OP   Man
over a year ago

East Midlands

Just a quick response to me using the term 'people of colour'. A few folks weren't impressed with that terminology, which prompted me to do a bit of research on the current thinking around the use of this phrase. Having looked in to it a bit more, it's now clear to me that this phrase certainly isn't in the spirit or intention of my original post. I'm sincerely sorry if that caused offence to anyone and inadvertently undermined the point I was trying to make. I've still definitely got a lot to learn.

I really appreciate the healthy debate that the post has prompted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Without meaning to cause offence to anyone, why are these threads always started by a concerned white guy?

"

Because it’s these white guy’s duty to make sure black men are not sexually exploited in the swinging scene....

We must be treated with respect and dignity...

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"Without meaning to cause offence to anyone, why are these threads always started by a concerned white guy?

Because it’s these white guy’s duty to make sure black men are not sexually exploited in the swinging scene....

We must be treated with respect and dignity..."

You're just a big sex toy.

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By *onguesandpuns OP   Man
over a year ago

East Midlands


"Like most topics there's a whole lot more to it than just a simple, binary, black and white (forgive the unintended pun) answer. To the OP I think the view is misplaced. I think it is a sexual stereotype that is a sort of hang over from porn which then spilled over into life. And people who are using the term as something they are looking for I don't believe is intended as a racial stereotype but a sexual preference. People may also put on their profiles about who they don't want to see which can come across as a racial stereotype or even a slur, but again, it is almost certainly going to be because:

a) They don't get turned on by people with whatever characteristic they are saying they don't want to meet

b) They may have had a number of bad experiences and have found that they don't want to risk another one

c) A combination of A and B

The question to the OP is why do you think Fab needs to do something about it? Do you want to influence and change what people's sexual preferences are because they don't fit in with your personal view of "correctness"? Maybe you are quite happy to be open to meeting and maybe even having sexual experiences with any nationality, shape, size, colour, diversity. If so, cool. Good for you. But that's you. Not everyone is the same and some people are quite specific about what they like. And that preference may be something they have evolved to over a period of some time and considerable experience. well said

Thank you "

With respect I think your argument is a bit confused. Just because people don't intend to racially stereotype when using a phrase to express a preference, doesn't mean they aren't racially stereotyping when they use said phrase.

Also, I'm at a loss as exactly where I said or indicated that I wanted to influence people's sexual preferences? I just think in 2019 there are better ways to express those preferences without having to resort to the same old clichés/tropes. Which as you yourself suggest are a hang over from porn, amongst many other things.

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

All those damn white women objectifying and using the black men for sex... Poor bastards. My heart bleeds for them!

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"a couple of things here.....

1) for every profile you show me that says "bbc" on it... i bet i can show you one that says "no blacks"...... would this be the same racial stereotyping that you seem to be objecting to?.......

2) preference! their body, their rules!.... people are here to have fun, they are not here to provide a service to all and sundry......

3) the whole BBC thing will only ever end if:

a)people make it known of their distaste for it all by not advertising or the point gets across that they are actually turning off as many of their target audience as they do turn on....

b)black guys having more self respect for themselves by not having their whole being defined by part of their body

none of that is happening anytime soon...... whilst people see it as an advantage to getting their leg over they will use when it work... or complain when it doesn't!"

Extremely well put as always.

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Without meaning to cause offence to anyone, why are these threads always started by a concerned white guy?

"

...just what we thought!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

"

So its wrong to only want Black. My partner is Black. I have no desire to go with a white guy. I say in our profile. Do i not have the right to choose who i fuck. Its not racism it is preference and just that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People see the term as bbc offensive, it means big black cock, if that’s what you fancy then where’s the issue (maybe small white cock people?) Not hearing anyone kicking off about the women who loves PDBWG

(Pin dick bald white guy) people of course.

We all like what we like and dislike what we do shouldn’t be a race issue x

Not sure I put that as eloquently as I could but you get the idea!!

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By *andemanMan
over a year ago

bedforshire


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

So its wrong to only want Black. My partner is Black. I have no desire to go with a white guy. I say in our profile. Do i not have the right to choose who i fuck. Its not racism it is preference and just that "

No one is saying you cant have a genuine Preference. I suppose from my prespective it is about people knowing why they hold that, "preference".

In regard to the use of terms such as BBC or BWC for that matter, my point is that the objectification of people (Woman Trans etal) is just sooo out of step with the open mindedness we swingers should ne about.

You can fuck who you like and i hope you enjoy. Really I do. But I also suspect you know why what you want is what you want and a lot of other people dont and need to examime thier reasons much more closely.

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By *oney to the beeWoman
over a year ago

Manchester


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

"

Does the fact you don't meet men make you homophobic then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

Does the fact you don't meet men make you homophobic then?

"

Please leave common sense out of this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

So its wrong to only want Black. My partner is Black. I have no desire to go with a white guy. I say in our profile. Do i not have the right to choose who i fuck. Its not racism it is preference and just that

No one is saying you cant have a genuine Preference. I suppose from my prespective it is about people knowing why they hold that, "preference".

In regard to the use of terms such as BBC or BWC for that matter, my point is that the objectification of people (Woman Trans etal) is just sooo out of step with the open mindedness we swingers should ne about.

You can fuck who you like and i hope you enjoy. Really I do. But I also suspect you know why what you want is what you want and a lot of other people dont and need to examime thier reasons much more closely."

What if I'm a hefty racist with Tommy Robinson on my fb friends list and an England flag tattooed on my shoulder.

Then what? Should I be forced to fuck xyz colour/ race/ etc people?

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By *cgkcCouple
over a year ago

Hitchin


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

So its wrong to only want Black. My partner is Black. I have no desire to go with a white guy. I say in our profile. Do i not have the right to choose who i fuck. Its not racism it is preference and just that

No one is saying you cant have a genuine Preference. I suppose from my prespective it is about people knowing why they hold that, "preference".

In regard to the use of terms such as BBC or BWC for that matter, my point is that the objectification of people (Woman Trans etal) is just sooo out of step with the open mindedness we swingers should ne about.

You can fuck who you like and i hope you enjoy. Really I do. But I also suspect you know why what you want is what you want and a lot of other people dont and need to examime thier reasons much more closely.

What if I'm a hefty racist with Tommy Robinson on my fb friends list and an England flag tattooed on my shoulder.

Then what? Should I be forced to fuck xyz colour/ race/ etc people?"

Definitely! I'd love to see them so conflicted... It feels so good, but Tommy says no!

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

It does seems as if common sense has been left out.

Following the logic used above, it means that homosexuals are prejudiced against straight people. Which is a quaint idea.

The problem with the homosexual comparison is that it is not only an old chestnut but is also a red herring. This is because you are comparing two different social circumstances.

Gay people have fought bitter battles and prejudice to have homosexuality recognised as being the way you are from birth and not shaped by social factors.

Apart from the old discredited colonialist, and segregationist theories there is no evidence that who a person chooses to sleep with in regard to race is something that is in you at birth. The choice is due to subconscious or conscious social factors.

Everyone (within the law) has and should have the right to sleep with whoever they choose without insult.

However it does seem that on Fab white women playing with black men is something that is regularly questioned in a negative way disguised as an honest query.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

So its wrong to only want Black. My partner is Black. I have no desire to go with a white guy. I say in our profile. Do i not have the right to choose who i fuck. Its not racism it is preference and just that

No one is saying you cant have a genuine Preference. I suppose from my prespective it is about people knowing why they hold that, "preference".

In regard to the use of terms such as BBC or BWC for that matter, my point is that the objectification of people (Woman Trans etal) is just sooo out of step with the open mindedness we swingers should ne about.

You can fuck who you like and i hope you enjoy. Really I do. But I also suspect you know why what you want is what you want and a lot of other people dont and need to examime thier reasons much more closely.

What if I'm a hefty racist with Tommy Robinson on my fb friends list and an England flag tattooed on my shoulder.

Then what? Should I be forced to fuck xyz colour/ race/ etc people?

Definitely! I'd love to see them so conflicted... It feels so good, but Tommy says no! "

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By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

We will get to the point on here you must have sex with every ethnic group to prove you are not a racist and every sexual group to ensure you are not homophobic or genderphobic next.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We will get to the point on here you must have sex with every ethnic group to prove you are not a racist and every sexual group to ensure you are not homophobic or genderphobic next. "

It’s like people want to promote sexual socialism on Fab....

I think the problem is that many people are not getting enough sex from this site....

If everyone was arranging meets and having sex...

they would not have time to ponder ...who is not sleeping with who or be offended by people’s sexual choices...

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury


"We will get to the point on here you must have sex with every ethnic group to prove you are not a racist and every sexual group to ensure you are not homophobic or genderphobic next. "

Yes, but you have to prove that their ethnicity or sexuality was not a turn on.

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

Has anyone ever thought that it's not necessarily being racist that makes someone prefer not to meet a particular race, but simply that they might remind them of a bad relationship?

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

[Removed by poster at 06/03/19 21:39:43]

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

We always treated fab as real life porn if I’m honest . So we met black guys when we were in the mood for that , and preferably black men with very large cocks , as visually it was fucking horny and my wife loved to put a show on for me . As did the black guys we met , who were invariably turned on by the scenario we had .

Other times we would meet a white couple , an Asian , an Eastern European , a bi guy , a straight guy , a tv or a ts .

And if anyone didn’t like the haven’t that we were meeting any of the people we met , we figured they must be jealous and never gave it another thought .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Without meaning to cause offence to anyone, why are these threads always started by a concerned white guy?

Because often they think that people will admire them for their empathy, personally I find it in bad taste, if some black men want to be referred to as bbc, it's got feck all to do with anyone else.

"

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By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham


"Anyone who thinks I've posted this thread to 'draw attention to my profile'. I mean c'mon! Seriously?! I posted because I find the language regressive and I think we, as a community, could and should do better! "

I might be prejudiced but I just don’t find people getting upset on behalf of certain other groups all that convincing. I would rather hear directly from upset black men in this case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the only black men ive heard from so far are asking if i want some bbc. so they cant be that upset

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London


"the only black men ive heard from so far are asking if i want some bbc. so they cant be that upset"

Funny... About one of a dozen of the ones I hear from come up with this line, if at all. I wonder why.

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By *nsatiable NurseWoman
over a year ago

Brighton


"Any preference *could* be seen as some kind of stereotyping OP - whether it be for skin colour, body shape, sexuality or things like hair colour or any number of other preferences each and every one of us has to one extent or another.

Are any of those preferences "-ists" or "-isms"? If the reason behind those preferences is not fuelled by lack of respect or worse (bigotry and hatred in some cases) then no not at all they're not. Choosing who you want to have sex with is a fundamental right, and if you've found that the best sex you have is with someone who is black and has a big cock, I personally don't see anything wrong with choosing to look for that.

Quite often arguments like your own are rolled out on here by those who can't get meets, and so seek something to blame for not doing so, I'm not saying that is the case here but it happens where people looking for a specific thing are called out because it excludes someone else, kind of reverse "-ism" if you like."

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By *nsatiable NurseWoman
over a year ago

Brighton

[Removed by poster at 06/03/19 22:08:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cant we all just get along?

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

I love PAWGs. Yep...you heard me

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

You can have sex with whoever you wish.

You just can't write it down or say it out loud...

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

"

Yet there is an awful lot of black people (do we say people of colour in this enlightened age?) that will use the term BBC as their USP. are you here to tell them they are wrong ur just the women who like to fuck black men?

When you say 'I and many others think you should do something about it', who are you talking to?

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By *ENOMMMan
over a year ago

Good lovin


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

People of colour!?

"People of colour" is a perfectly acceptable decriptor, famously and most recently championed by Michelle Obama and her husband "

Doesn't make it right mate . I hate the term. If that's the case we are all people of colour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

People of colour!?

"People of colour" is a perfectly acceptable decriptor, famously and most recently championed by Michelle Obama and her husband

Doesn't make it right mate . I hate the term. If that's the case we are all people of colour "

Totally agree. I would hate to use the term for my man.

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By *cgkcCouple
over a year ago

Hitchin

[Removed by poster at 07/03/19 09:09:01]

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By *cgkcCouple
over a year ago

Hitchin

Must be a generational thing. I remember my wife using it in the early 00s but not heard her use it recently.

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By *andemanMan
over a year ago

bedforshire


"We always treated fab as real life porn if I’m honest . So we met black guys when we were in the mood for that , and preferably black men with very large cocks , as visually it was fucking horny and my wife loved to put a show on for me . As did the black guys we met , who were invariably turned on by the scenario we had .

Other times we would meet a white couple , an Asian , an Eastern European , a bi guy , a straight guy , a tv or a ts .

And if anyone didn’t like the haven’t that we were meeting any of the people we met , we figured they must be jealous and never gave it another thought ."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Caucasians turn red when we are embarrased, blue when cold, green with envy, yellow with cowardice, white when spooked and have to cheek to call others coloured...

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By *andemanMan
over a year ago

bedforshire


"Caucasians turn red when we are embarrased, blue when cold, green with envy, yellow with cowardice, white when spooked and have to cheek to call others coloured..."

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By *andfCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

[Removed by poster at 07/03/19 15:10:11]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...and yet the vast majority of black men that message me define themselves by the size of their cock and reference their colour or size in their profile name.

They also attend parties entitled something like ‘donkey dick’ or ‘dark desires’. "

Exactly!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

"

Perhaps you should aim this thread at the black men. Because the only time I ever see it used is in the (at least 5 a week) messages entitled BBC for you or do you like BBC which I receive.

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London


"Hi folks,

I've been a site supporter since November, and already I've noticed that a lot of (what I would consider to be) racial stereotyping takes place on here. The obvious one being 'BBC only' for example.

This is the language of the 1970's and in my opinion it should have no place on an inclusive site that aims to bring people of all ages and persuasions together. I've seen quite a few people of colour commenting that they don't like the term, and using it is out of step with the modern world.

Have a look at this article for a black man's views on how such stereotyping can make people of colour feel:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/27/white-privilege-is-used-by-women-against-black-men-as-a-tool-of-oppression?

Fab brings like minded people of all ages and persuasions together in so many positive ways, but I am many others think it's about time you did something about it.

Thanks,

DJ

Perhaps you should aim this thread at the black men. Because the only time I ever see it used is in the (at least 5 a week) messages entitled BBC for you or do you like BBC which I receive. "

yep thats what you see on here, but if they say I have a bbc, nothing wrong with that, unless telling porkies and its small

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw a black woman writing a blog about how it's mainly based on steryotyping black men as rough dangerous taboo lovers who arent socially acceptable to be anything other than a penis....

E.g. thinking black woman are ass shaking video girls

This is left wing identity politics. It's all left wing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer ITV

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Must be a generational thing. I remember my wife using it in the early 00s but not heard her use it recently. "

Duwjne Abbott isn't much of a fan of it

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Caucasians turn red when we are embarrased, blue when cold, green with envy, yellow with cowardice, white when spooked and have to cheek to call others coloured..."

I remember someone posting leaflets with that on through letterboxes round Dagenham when I was a kid

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By *cgkcCouple
over a year ago

Hitchin


"Must be a generational thing. I remember my wife using it in the early 00s but not heard her use it recently.

Duwjne Abbott isn't much of a fan of it "

Ah, OK. For clarification, my wife used to use the phrase 'person/people of colour', NOT 'coloured'.

Try calling her coloured and see what happens...!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...and yet the vast majority of black men that message me define themselves by the size of their cock and reference their colour or size in their profile name.

They also attend parties entitled something like ‘donkey dick’ or ‘dark desires’. "

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By *ENOMMMan
over a year ago

Good lovin

My thing is you can already see my cock pic on my profile. I never message anyone offering bbc . In fact most of the time I'm being messaged for BBC. Which is fine as I have a BBC lol as long as they don't refer to me as a BBC .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So what do I say if im looking for a black man with a massive cock?

Asking for a friend.

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By *ross-eyed MaryMan
over a year ago

Salisbury

I like sucking big black cocks, but I'd never go on a date with a black guy, is that bad?

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By *ENOMMMan
over a year ago

Good lovin


"So what do I say if im looking for a black man with a massive cock?

Asking for a friend."

I'm looking for a black man with a massive cock , hung black man , man with a BBC. Simple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So what do I say if im looking for a black man with a massive cock?

Asking for a friend."

Looking for a very well endowed black guy. Simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have to say a lot of black men’s profiles thar I have seen have been based around being a BBC.....those people therefore appear to play on the ‘racial stereotyping’.... "

In my view, you are not wrong but I think they are only playing to what's in demand! Using an example earlier, increase in veganism, results in more restaurants having a vegan section in the menu.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"I like sucking big black cocks, but I'd never go on a date with a black guy, is that bad? "

I wouldn’t be too worried as I would hazard a guess that the black guys you enjoy sucking wouldn’t want a date with you either

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"I like sucking big black cocks, but I'd never go on a date with a black guy, is that bad?

I wouldn’t be too worried as I would hazard a guess that the black guys you enjoy sucking wouldn’t want a date with you either "

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By *ross-eyed MaryMan
over a year ago

Salisbury


"I like sucking big black cocks, but I'd never go on a date with a black guy, is that bad?

I wouldn’t be too worried as I would hazard a guess that the black guys you enjoy sucking wouldn’t want a date with you either "

Too true, they're all straight after all.....

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