FabSwingers.com forum: Stalkers!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi all

Over the last couple of weeks, I've had 3 different guys I've been chatting to refuse to give out their mobile number, (I've been happy to give them mine), stating that they've had experiences of stalking from this site. This has come about after chatting for a while and then trying to arrange a social.

Each time it's happened, I've responded saying that I'm no longer interested, as I feel I'm being judged on their past experience, without them having any evidence to back up that judgement.

If I was on here 24/7, messaging them as soon as they came online, I could understand. However, I've never initially messaged anyone on here, only responded, and if someone decides they aren't interested, I'm not going to pursue that as what's the point in wasting my time?

I'm just wondering if anyone else has had the same experience or been stalked!

Happy fabbing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spoiler alert, they weren't being stalked, all of them had a wife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A few years back I had to change my phone number due to a guy calling me off a withheld number. He was pestering me while I was trying to work ect. The thing is he was fine on here but changed once he had my number. I only give my number out to long term friends now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spoiler alert, they weren't being stalked, all of them had a wife

Spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spoiler alert, they weren't being stalked, all of them had a wife

That's what I was thinking

double standards over here *waves*

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

Get yourself a fabphone just for here. Never give out your personal number.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think if you've had bad experiences its only natural to take precautions to prevent them happening again. They're not judging you.

We've never had a stalker but we never give out our main phone number either, we keep a fab phone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't ever give my number out. I'll use kik that's it.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

Nobody gets our phone numbers. We like to keep fab talk to here. Think a few are like us.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Hi all

Each time it's happened, I've responded saying that I'm no longer interested, as I feel I'm being judged on their past experience, without them having any evidence to back up that judgement.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has had the same experience or been stalked!

Happy fabbing

I have had a stalking threatening experience from here yes. PM me and I’ll tell you as I can’t disclose it on the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not for a fab phone but I only give my number out if we’ve chatted for ages and I’m intending on meeting them.

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By *ranberriesWoman
over a year ago

London

I don’t give out my mobile number. I use to many years ago when I first joined fab, but it lead to too many unwanted calls, texts and Facebook friend requests.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hmmm, think the married thing is probably spot on, which maddens me as I state on my profile I'm not interested in attached men.

Looks like I'll be investing in a "burner". Suppose it'll come in handy if I need to hire a hit man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmmm, think the married thing is probably spot on, which maddens me as I state on my profile I'm not interested in attached men.

Looks like I'll be investing in a "burner". Suppose it'll come in handy if I need to hire a hit man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a few stalkers in my 7 years of being on fab so had to change my profile a few times coz of them.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

To be honest i do not really like giving out my phone number although have done on a few occassions now. I am happy just to message on Fab to arrange meets.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Hmmm, think the married thing is probably spot on, which maddens me as I state on my profile I'm not interested in attached men.

Looks like I'll be investing in a "burner". Suppose it'll come in handy if I need to hire a hit man

Would you assume the same if a woman refused to give hers out?

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I have always given out my number to those that I have arranged to meet with. Thinking about it now a burner sounds a good idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only communicate through Fabs too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hmmm, think the married thing is probably spot on, which maddens me as I state on my profile I'm not interested in attached men.

Looks like I'll be investing in a "burner". Suppose it'll come in handy if I need to hire a hit man

Would you assume the same if a woman refused to give hers out?"

I didn't make the initial assumption, just agreeing with who did

I would never be in the situation of asking a woman on here for her number, so can't really comment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never give out my number unless we meet in person and get along. ...

On top that, that's if I meet someone haha

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By *ilbearniMan
over a year ago

peninsula

I don't give out phone number, as it can lead to other things, like a link to Facebook and other social media. Don't want to see fab folk being suggested as Facebook friends etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't give out my number - or ask for a guy's - to protect my privacy and security. Kik or Fab is all that I need to chat and arrange meets...there's nothing suspicious about it

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I don't think you can read too much into someone not wanting to give out their phone number, just out it down to not being compatible and move on OP.

I won't share my phone number either, all chat is done on this site. Only 2 people on fab have my number - one is my FB of of nearly 3 years and the other is my sister!

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I've been stalked before and it does make you a lot more cautious. I'd also never give out my mobile number unless I'd been seeing the same person a while and considered then a friend outside of the play as through your phone number it's possible to find you on all sorts of social media platforms. I always use kik for fab meets because of this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't give out my number - or ask for a guy's - to protect my privacy and security. Kik or Fab is all that I need to chat and arrange meets...there's nothing suspicious about it "

I absolutely echo this, no need for numbers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't give out my number - or ask for a guy's - to protect my privacy and security. Kik or Fab is all that I need to chat and arrange meets...there's nothing suspicious about it

I absolutely echo this, no need for numbers "
same only 2 women have my number off here

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I give people my number and I am quickly bored by being forced to chat purely on fab. I won’t do kik

My experience tells me that if a person is straight up then swapping phone numbers isn’t a problem.

V x

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By *jEuphoriaCouple
over a year ago

north kent

"Hi all

Each time it's happened, I've responded saying that I'm no longer interested, as I feel I'm being judged on their past experience, without them having any evidence to back up that judgement.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has had the same experience or been stalked!

Happy fabbing

Like everyone else says, probably married/attached men.

My big tip would be, always use a spare phone, never give your real number.

I had a really bad experience with a man/lad, pretending to be someone else. He got very abusive. Glad I had a separate phone.

Never give personal details away. I could have lost my job with one guy. Protect yourself.

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By *andemanMan
over a year ago

bedforshire

I have had a stalker once. But not from here its scary she just kept on for about two years. Could not except that it was over.

People are right as they have said before. Seporate phone and these guys sound like married cold feet fantasists. They would never have met you regardless of thier excuss.

On line and meet safty is a real issue. And the rules for safty in Vanila Blind Dating should be a starting point for Fab meeting the first time and perhaps more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More male than female stalkers on here in reality. There is nothing wrong with people though not giving out a number but it generally means they don't want to be called when the wife is round the stalker thing is a red herring. After all we all have an old phone hanging round that we can put a payg sim in for early contact with people.

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

"Hmmm, think the married thing is probably spot on, which maddens me as I state on my profile I'm not interested in attached men.

Looks like I'll be investing in a "burner". Suppose it'll come in handy if I need to hire a hit man

Would you assume the same if a woman refused to give hers out?"

I wouldn't automatically think that because i've been a single woman on here who has given her number out then stopped doing that due to men being pests.

Plenty of attached guys have given me their number also but there's so many of them on here i would presume anything they do is because they aren't really single.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

I won't give my number to anyone unless I actually know them, and know them well.

I get guys sending me opening messages that include phone numbers "WhatsApp me babe" Really?

Even after chatting a while with someone if I want to take it off here, I use Kik.

The amount of guys that go silent because I won't give my number out is quite bizarre, there are other ways to communicate without giving out my personal number

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm surprised at the amount of people who won't give their number out!?

I'd be reluctant to meet, without exchanging numbers. What happens if there's a last minute problem, or you're running late etc?

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By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

People don't have ot give out one its their right but in reality if they won't do that its highly unlikely they would turn up for a meet so at a refusal to chat its always goodbye from me.

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By *andemanMan
over a year ago

bedforshire

"I won't give my number to anyone unless I actually know them, and know them well.

I get guys sending me opening messages that include phone numbers "WhatsApp me babe" Really?

Even after chatting a while with someone if I want to take it off here, I use Kik.

The amount of guys that go silent because I won't give my number out is quite bizarre, there are other ways to communicate without giving out my personal number "

Spot on My friend. Like you I only ever give my number to people i KNOW i can trust. Hope your well. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had 3 already this year. One was a woman that wouldn’t take no for answer I stupidly gave my Kik address to.

The other 2 were men who didn’t understand the concept I was single and couldn’t date them!

But report and block and if it serious go to the police.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm surprised at the amount of people who won't give their number out!?

I'd be reluctant to meet, without exchanging numbers. What happens if there's a last minute problem, or you're running late etc?"

Only if I’m intending to meet them will I give my number out.

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By *andonmessMan
over a year ago

A world all of his own

"I don't ever give my number out. I'll use kik that's it. "

Exactly the same. I did have a stalker and being called at 2am isn't funny.

Oh and I'm not married either

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I've had some near misses with weirdos on here, and I don't give my number out at all anymore. Kik, Fab, or nothing.

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"Hi all

Each time it's happened, I've responded saying that I'm no longer interested, as I feel I'm being judged on their past experience, without them having any evidence to back up that judgement.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has had the same experience or been stalked!

Happy fabbing

In my experience if they are happily chatting and talking about meeting but then won’t give out a number it’s because they are fake or not supposed to be on here because they are married / attached

The stalking thing is an excuse

I’ve had many a persistent guy and a few stalkers myself but if I am serious about meeting of course I give me number out

There are a lot of people on here that are doing so without partners knowledge do horny chatting / pic swapping is safe on just one site

As soon as they start giving out their number they might get unsolicited messages whilst with their other half or pop up on Facebook as ‘someone you might know’

Trust your instincts - if it feels iffy then don’t go there and if it’s too good to be true it probably is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm surprised at the amount of people who won't give their number out!?

I'd be reluctant to meet, without exchanging numbers. What happens if there's a last minute problem, or you're running late etc?

Only if I’m intending to meet them will I give my number out. "

That's fair enough. Don't want to give out your number to any old random, but if you're going to meet and potentially sleep with them, your number shouldn't really be an issue imho.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nope in all the years i/we been playing we have never given out our phone number and have never used any apps no need for it we have all the tools we need via fab and commonsense and gut feeling's ...

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

"Spoiler alert, they weren't being stalked, all of them had a wife

People hide behind that shit to cover up their own sad little insecurities.

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

I like to exchange phone numbers with some one whom I have arranged to meet. I can accept that a woman may prefer not to before that first social meeting but if we arrange a second meeting it seems a reasonable thing to do . However I don't ask for hers I just give her mine. It's up to her if she wants to respond like wise. If I don't get offered a phone number I just proceed with caution. She maybe cautious and so am I but for different reasons. We have all been told stories about some men on Fab who don't know how they should behave so caution on a woman's part is entirely understandable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Phone numbers are way more than just a number now. They’re attached to Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, Tumblr, Twitter, Email, Gmail and hundreds of other things that allow you to search someone by their phone number.

There’s no way I’m giving access to all of that data to a person I’ve never met.

It’s very rare that I’ll give anyone my number.

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