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I’m a winker

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By *uan Knight OP   Man
over a year ago

Rugby

(Knowing this is a topic of differing opinions, I don’t expect everyone to agree, which, of course, is absolutely fine)

I like using a wink to indicate my interest to a lady whose profile has caught my eye (ironic link unintended, but acknowledged).

For me it’s a gentle way of saying “I like what I’ve seen and read of you. Please accept my initial contact as a genuine compliment to you, and that getting to know you better is of genuine interest to me. It is as innocent as a smile to a stranger. Should two people build upon such an ice-breaker is up to both of them. But the inference remains: it’s a nice thing to do, even if it merely brightens the recipients day.

Some people state on their profile they do not look at winks, or like them. That’s great too. Bring clear about your preferences should help all parties concerned.

An introductory message is often preferred, and I like sending them too. I’ve seen many state their dislike of a “cut and paste”, and I agree with that also. When talking with an individual I wouldn’t speak as if I were addressing a larger audience. I like to highlight what it is about someone’s profile that piqued my interest.

When I read people’s comments stating how annoyed or irritated they are by receiving winks it feels, from my perspective, to be an overreaction. But I am not them, so I cannot fully know what makes them feel the way they do.

I’d like a wink to be graciously received, even if not replied to, but I can only speak for me.

Perhaps I’ll just send an initial message instead. It will read:

Wink

(Obviously not cut and pasted)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You would like someone to respond to your wink?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You would like someone to respond to your wink?"

I cleared my winks a few hours ago, I just checked and I have 57. I’m not responding to any.

I don’t see the point in winks to be honest. To me, it feels like guys do it because they can’t be bothered sending a message.

But if it works for you, keep going with it

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By *oupleNeedPlus1Couple
over a year ago

Reading

I've never read comments about being annoyed by winks...

We are certainly not annoyed but they do all get deleted. I couldn't possibly look at every profile of each winker and keep up with messages. Mission Impossible

And yes, our profile does specify no winks. Not that that makes much difference to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I’m interested in a lady or couple ill message them.

It’s nice if I receive a wink and I’ll act upon it if I’m interested but I wouldn’t send a wink and expect anything to come from it.

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

You have a talent for writing, why not use it rather than take what many will see as the 'lazy' option?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to wink when im not sure what to write perhaps that's why i never get any back i said to myself im gunna start messaging others and not wink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You would like someone to respond to your wink?

I cleared my winks a few hours ago, I just checked and I have 57. I’m not responding to any.

I don’t see the point in winks to be honest. To me, it feels like guys do it because they can’t be bothered sending a message.

But if it works for you, keep going with it "

If someone can’t be arsed to type a short message introducing themselves, they’re unlikely to be arsed to be good in bed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After a year with no meets op surely the last thing your looking for is the exception?

Carry on winking my friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use winks!

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

We have no problem with a wink, first contact has to be initiated somehow and whether that is a wink or a short "Hi how are you message" is ok by us. It is what follows that is the key, if the flow of messages is not more substantial or interesting then we will quickly lose interest and stop replying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/02/19 16:07:11]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have no problem with a wink, first contact has to be initiated somehow and whether that is a wink or a short "Hi how are you message" is ok by us. It is what follows that is the key, if the flow of messages is not more substantial or interesting then we will quickly lose interest and stop replying."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men can't seem to win! Winks are seen as a lazy option, yet why should a guy type out a well thought out message just to be ignored.

If I like the look of a guy who has winked, I will always message saying thanks.

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I don't mind them

If someone fits what i look for i may even wink back (v rare)and much better than getting a one line message in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I quite like winks, like you say, it’s just like a wink in real life,,, Absolutely nothing will likely come from a wink but it’s nice to receive and I like sending them back if the feelings mutual, sometimes there’s too many so I don’t bother looking at them because I’m busy reading our messages but that doesn’t ever annoy me that they’ve sent them. I don’t understand people’s annoyance, you wouldn’t be annoyed at a smile to a stranger you’re never going to see again or then saying hello so why be annoyed at winks. Just my view

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Men can't seem to win! Winks are seen as a lazy option, yet why should a guy type out a well thought out message just to be ignored.

If I like the look of a guy who has winked, I will always message saying thanks."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly, I don't mind winks. I don't check them as often as messages, but every now and then I will scroll through them.

My pet peeve, however, is when people feel the need to write, 'if I wink it means I've seen something I like/I'm interested'on their profile. Surely that goes without saying??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *uan Knight OP   Man
over a year ago

Rugby


"Men can't seem to win! Winks are seen as a lazy option, yet why should a guy type out a well thought out message just to be ignored.

If I like the look of a guy who has winked, I will always message saying thanks."

Nicely put.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mr wink here lol

Thing you can send 20 well put together messages and as a single mail not receive one reply ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My grammar is awful lol

As a male ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have no problem with a wink, first contact has to be initiated somehow and whether that is a wink or a short "Hi how are you message" is ok by us. It is what follows that is the key, if the flow of messages is not more substantial or interesting then we will quickly lose interest and stop replying."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is a polite way to show interest and to 'break the ice' in the hope that one may be returned..it is not being lazy.. I have sent messages and most of the time, they are ingnored.... If an individual has taken the time to compose such an item, then surely the recipiant at least should have the have the good manners return a 'no thanks'..Being considerate and polite cost nothing unless ...you are ignorant.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

They don’t annoy me. But I do largely ignore them. I don’t send them either. I’ll message (assuming filters allow) a quick hello if I want to see if there’s any mutual attraction.

V x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A 'wink' is a polite way to show interest and to 'break the ice' in the hope that one may be returned..it is not being lazy.. I have sent messages and most of the time, they are ingnored.... If an individual has taken the time to compose such an item, then surely the recipiant should at least, have the good manners to return a 'no thanks'..Being considerate and polite cost nothing ....unless you are ignorant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A 'wink' is a polite way to show interest and to 'break the ice' in the hope that one may be returned..it is not being lazy.. I have sent messages and most of the time, they are ingnored.... If an individual has taken the time to compose such an item, then surely the recipiant should at least, have the good manners to return a 'no thanks'..Being considerate and polite cost nothing ....unless you are ignorant."

No, FAQs states no reply means not interested, it's not rude or ignorant. If women do reply they often get abuse for turning the bloke down.

I just delete the message if not interested.

And I do like winks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please read my text carefully as the point I make has been missed... To delete without a response is bad manners..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Please read my text carefully as the point I make has been missed... To delete without a response is bad manners.."

No it's not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like winks and always look at the sender's profile if it's not ridiculously far away (this is when my profile is unhidden ... when it's hidden I think they are creepy!) And I do reply with a wink if I want to initiate contact, definitely saves time and effort for both parties

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