FabSwingers.com forum: whats tge strangest thing you had up your fanny?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok so one summer when I was at uni I was temping in a office in the city and ended up having a fling with one of the women who worked there. One night we both ended up staying late working in a project and as the night went in we got friskier and friskier. Emma had talked about how she really liked to be stretched and this night I suggested we give it a try

I grabbed a couple of boxes if vix biros and started to insert them one at a time till she could take no more (can't remember the number now lol, old age setting in lol). The funniest part was seeing certain members if staff chewing on the ends of them the next day lol.

So what's the strangest thing you have had up your fanny/bum?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Donr think ive ever had anything strange

Mind you what i call not strange other may lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/01/12 18:12:53]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Donr think ive ever had anything strange

Mind you what i call not strange other may lol"

LOL well as a medical professional why don't you tell me and I'll let you know what is strange or not lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope my Mrs don't see this thread cause she would say me no doubt xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hope my Mrs don't see this thread cause she would say me no doubt xx

From what I hear she would not be the only one!

I joke lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mmmmm an alien..... warm pulses soft at 1st but once you touch it which is funny it goes hard. The wierd thing is its only got one eye and spits through it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hope my Mrs don't see this thread cause she would say me no doubt xx

From what I hear she would not be the only one!

I joke lol"

True xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What you really want to worry about Soap is if none of them come forward at all! LOL

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By *sa fun bradfordMan
over a year ago

bradford/leeds

an old ex of mine once sent me a pic when i was at work of her with a torch inside herself then laater on that morning a frying pan handle..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my ex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"my ex"

My ex hubbies cock

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I wondered how long it would take for "my ex" comments to come out lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope this runs as it could be bazaar yet a fascinating read.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe the OP should of used another word apart from Fanny, just for the American users of the site

with it pertaining to a different part of the body in the states. The answers would still be worth looking at.

Perhaps Clunge the word of the moment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im going to say this only once .....a roll of wall paper ......

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"im going to say this only once .....a roll of wall paper ......

"
had you run out of wallpaper paste?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"an old ex of mine once sent me a pic when i was at work of her with a torch inside herself then laater on that morning a frying pan handle.."

I's only start to worry if she had the entire pan up there, complete with egg, bacon and beans ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im going to say this only once .....a roll of wall paper ......

"
.

Suppose its a variation on vajazzle!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember seeing a pic of a woman with an upturned beer glass up her, then someone shone a torch into the glass and she lit up like a light bulb

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A light saber.........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A light saber.........

Feel the force??xx

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By *BW38jWoman
over a year ago

Dudley/Telford

wine bottle wide end as he drank from it

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By *urreyfun2008Man
over a year ago

East Grinstead

I remember that apparently Harry Potters quiditch stick was popular with the ladies one year.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got stuck on a bedpost once. Middle of a party and I was clearly just trying to show off. It was an old fashioned kind of bed with a big round knob on the end of the post. Charlie bet me that I couldn't fit it in. I could, just, but then someone made me laugh and I tensed up around the damn thing. That was it, I was stuck, everyone started trying to help me off it but i couldn't stop laughing long enough to relax the muscles. Then I started panicking which didn't help either, funnily enough. Took me over an hour to relax enough to be able to ease myself back round it. Can you imagine having to call the paramedics to that scene! Needless to say i had a very sore foof for the next few weeks. Damn that exhibitionist in me!! Thank god it was in our own home too. It's one thing get stuck on your own bedpost but getting stuck on the end of someone elses bed would have been embarrassing lol!! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I remember that apparently Harry Potters quiditch stick was popular with the ladies one year."

Quiditch stick - is that a euphonism

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"im going to say this only once .....a roll of wall paper ......

Really!? I suppose it would save on wall paper glue lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got stuck on a bedpost once. Middle of a party and I was clearly just trying to show off. It was an old fashioned kind of bed with a big round knob on the end of the post. Charlie bet me that I couldn't fit it in. I could, just, but then someone made me laugh and I tensed up around the damn thing. That was it, I was stuck, everyone started trying to help me off it but i couldn't stop laughing long enough to relax the muscles. Then I started panicking which didn't help either, funnily enough. Took me over an hour to relax enough to be able to ease myself back round it. Can you imagine having to call the paramedics to that scene! Needless to say i had a very sore foof for the next few weeks. Damn that exhibitionist in me!! Thank god it was in our own home too. It's one thing get stuck on your own bedpost but getting stuck on the end of someone elses bed would have been embarrassing lol!! xx"

Brilliant, I can't stop laughing, sorry

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

a mancunian

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

a gearstick of a mark one cortina, i was young and daring.....

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Thats a brilliant story

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" a gearstick of a mark one cortina, i was young and daring.....

So that's how to pass a driving test

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tinned sliced peaches ..... without the tin

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

wish i'd thought of that back then...

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

" a gearstick of a mark one cortina, i was young and daring.....

hope the hand brake was applied..

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple
over a year ago

wirral

My ex tried to put a butternut squash in....??

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By *BW38jWoman
over a year ago

Dudley/Telford

was an a and e nurse in the 1980s and we had to removed a tennis ball that was so high up it was almost in her womb.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

saw a piece in a lads mag years ago about strange objects in bodily orifices..

one guy had a light bulb up his arse, another a glass jar..

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

"was an a and e nurse in the 1980s and we had to removed a tennis ball that was so high up it was almost in her womb.

"
bet she a racket getting that oot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"saw a piece in a lads mag years ago about strange objects in bodily orifices..

one guy had a light bulb up his arse, another a glass jar..

Smashing ................

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Ok whatever you do don't google one man one jar

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple
over a year ago

wirral

Ouch!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok whatever you do don't google one man one jar

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

cant stand nutella..

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Ok whatever you do don't google one man one jar

Oh I so wish I wasn't so nosey

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales

Why do I always do things people say not to!

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

An alka-seltzer tablet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"was an a and e nurse in the 1980s and we had to removed a tennis ball that was so high up it was almost in her womb.

You would still get John Mcenroe saying it was on the line

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tinned sliced peaches ..... without the tin

Must be the oddest so far.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cucumber, rubber truncheon, umbrella

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the end of my upright hoover.

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area

"saw a piece in a lads mag years ago about strange objects in bodily orifices..

one guy had a light bulb up his arse, another a glass jar..

Saw on TV the guy who shoved thermometers up his backside and sat down in a hurry!!!*OUCH*

Died of mercury poisoning....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i once used a frozen sausage on an ex

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"i once used a frozen sausage on an ex

"
why? did your sausage defrost?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my husband lol xxxx

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By *obblybitsCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

A dinasors tail it was mine from when I was young a big soft toy but a plastic face and tail.

Hubby is boring on this front but I love having different things up me, spay canisters hair brushes, torches, bottles food anything. I would love to go to a meet of people like minded.

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By *arkstaffsMan
over a year ago

Rugeley

An ex once played with a layshaft out of a mini gearbox that I had as a paperweight!

Nice cold steel!

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By *ong_legs2Couple
over a year ago

essex

just ice and a chocolate egg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

banana and squirty cream together bit messy

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"I remember seeing a pic of a woman with an upturned beer glass up her, then someone shone a torch into the glass and she lit up like a light bulb

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By *ravellingAndyMan
over a year ago

Brandon

"cucumber, rubber truncheon, umbrella

Umbrella!! That would have been a bit scary if you'd hit the button and it opened

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got stuck on a bedpost once. Middle of a party and I was clearly just trying to show off. It was an old fashioned kind of bed with a big round knob on the end of the post. Charlie bet me that I couldn't fit it in. I could, just, but then someone made me laugh and I tensed up around the damn thing. That was it, I was stuck, everyone started trying to help me off it but i couldn't stop laughing long enough to relax the muscles. Then I started panicking which didn'thelp either, funnily enough. Took me over an hour to relax enough to be able to ease myself back round it. Can you imagine having to call the paramedics to that scene! Needless to say i had a very sore foof for the next few weeks. Damn that exhibitionist in me!! Thank god it was in our own home too. It's one thing get stuck on your own bedpost but getting stuck on the end of someone elses bed would have been embarrassing lol!! xx

Brilliant, I can't stop laughing, sorry

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My ex tried to put a butternut squash in....??"

I take it it didn't fit? LOL

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

3 guesses for where the handbrake was heading...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just ice and a chocolate egg

"
snap cream eggs are good fun .. can eat them in all sorts of ways .

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By *ong_legs2Couple
over a year ago

essex

"just ice and a chocolate egg

snap cream eggs are good fun .. can eat them in all sorts of ways ."

how do you eat yours??? lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A dinasors tail it was mine from when I was young a big soft toy but a plastic face and tail.

Hubby is boring on this front but I love having different things up me, spay canisters hair brushes, torches, bottles food anything. I would love to go to a meet of people like minded."

Shame your not closer I can think of a few things to insert into you

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By *dward and WallisCouple
over a year ago

lincoln

if you search youporn, the funny section there is a great vid of a lady "smoking" a cigar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im going to say this only once .....a roll of wall paper ......

length or width xx

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

when I saw Gaddafi hiding in the pipe, I did chuckle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i watched on cam as a lady took the end of a pine bed , yep the big knobbly bit

wow and i thought i could stretch my ass , xx

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By *udiguyMan
over a year ago

harrogate

i was once read a bit from a magazine about a girl who got frisky with her porshes gear knob , got stuck and had to car phone the fire brigade

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple
over a year ago

wirral

"My ex tried to put a butternut squash in....??

I take it it didn't fit? LOL"
nope was mahoosive. Like a babies head! Ow ow ow ow......got him back though. Little finger...japs eye hahahahaha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My ex tried to put a butternut squash in....??

I take it it didn't fit? LOL nope was mahoosive. Like a babies head! Ow ow ow ow......got him back though. Little finger...japs eye hahahahaha"

You should be locked up for that! That is just wrong! LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok whatever you do don't google one man one jar

Oh I so wish I wasn't so nosey

its not good is it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nintendo wii bat ...... up to the second set of screws have a look lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/01/12 18:42:26]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok whatever you do don't google one man one jar

Oh I so wish I wasn't so nosey

its not good is it

Ewwwwwwww......that must smart !!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok whatever you do don't google one man one jar

I really should learn to do as I'm told!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Traffic light ice lolly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a man and he was pretending to be my fanny doctor, he put a big but plug in my pussy, he said it would stretch it so he could put his hand in there, only it didnt and it hurt a lot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I met a man and he was pretending to be my fanny doctor, he put a big but plug in my pussy, he said it would stretch it so he could put his hand in there, only it didnt and it hurt a lot."

oh dear, not a very good bedside manner then...

Inflatable dildo on prescription for you for next time...

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not a strange item but we put ice cubes up mrs2 fanny , then we have sex before they melt.

mmmmmmmmmmmm fantastic feeling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BedKNOBS and Broomsticks....and then some

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not a strange item but we put ice cubes up mrs2 fanny , then we have sex before they melt.

mmmmmmmmmmmm fantastic feeling "

we love this too

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

Jes an hour, hope someone got you some nice pillows to rest on, or where you stuck doing a horse stance for an hour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A mars bar!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

We thought of you while out bed shopping this afternoon...we saw the biggest knob on the end of the bed you have ever seen....do you want us to tell you which shop it is?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a girlfriend at Uni, who could only cum if she had 3 or 4 ice cubes inserted into her as I had sex.

I agree with you, its a very unique cool feeling, not least as the ice melts.... but the damp sheets did put me off a little.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You no I asked a recent meet this very question and her reply was erm to be honest you Timbers my lad. lol cheeky bugger I dont no if that was a compliment or not, maybe it had something to do with the little love note I had left for her the day before lol pen ran out so I wrote it in my own shit on the back of the door haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You no I asked a recent meet this very question and her reply was erm to be honest you Timbers my lad. lol cheeky bugger I dont no if that was a compliment or not, maybe it had something to do with the little love note I had left for her the day before lol pen ran out so I wrote it in my own shit on the back of the door haha "

was that the very same shit that you traipsed into your car when you were dumping in the woods

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A washing machine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my wife is a nurse,and has some very funny stories,the most dangerous one was ,one lady had being inserting the handle of a crystel bell inside her bum and the shaft broke just as it was into the hilt, it took more than a houre to get it out as it had worked its way right in,so be carfull.for some reason pingpong balls ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a full family packed of cadbury's mini egs one at a time and then fucked with them inside = was OK and horny till they started to melt and the hard shells broke up and made it feel like was fucking broken glass - ouch - took ages to clean all the melted choc out of her pussy too- lol.

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By *a and kaCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire(ish)

Well where to start!!! I have quite an extensive list of bizarre things, including the butternut squash

Cucumbers, corn on the cob, heels of shoes, my personal favourite............ Ma's fist!! :D

As for my ass, I think the steel candle holders were the best, they still sit on my shelf now!! lol Always makes me giggle if someone picks them up

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By *ibrosMan
over a year ago

harrow

"Hubby is boring on this front but I love having different things up me, spay canisters hair brushes, torches, bottles food anything. I would love to go to a meet of people like minded."

Is this a variation on a byob party?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Raspberry ripple icecream

, then fucked before it all melted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We thought of you while out bed shopping this afternoon...we saw the biggest knob on the end of the bed you have ever seen....do you want us to tell you which shop it is?

lmao! Nooooo, I've learned my lesson from that little escapade! I can't even look at a bedpost now without crossing my legs lol

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By *ickingFantasticMan
over a year ago

Fareham

Tried a variety of things up my bum

over the years :-

bedpost, various toys designed for the job, fist, bottle, jar, can, apple, orange, lemon, ice dildo, cucumber, metal bar from weights, swizzel cocktail stick.

The one thing I learnt is the best ones are the ones designed for the job.

Just watched one man, one jar, cautionary tale if ever there was one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"my wife is a nurse,and has some very funny stories,the most dangerous one was ,one lady had being inserting the handle of a crystel bell inside her bum and the shaft broke just as it was into the hilt, it took more than a houre to get it out as it had worked its way right in,so be carfull.for some reason pingpong balls ,"

my first ex hubby

worked in A&E and some of the stories he used to come home with was great

There was once a guy with the little digital clock you used to get on gear sticks stuck up his arse

The funniest bits was the stories they came out with of how they got there rather than the fact they was there in the first place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

TV remote control in a German hotel room

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By *a and kaCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire(ish)

"Well where to start!!! I have quite an extensive list of bizarre things, including the butternut squash

Cucumbers, corn on the cob, heels of shoes, my personal favourite............ Ma's fist!! :D

As for my ass, I think the steel candle holders were the best, they still sit on my shelf now!! lol Always makes me giggle if someone picks them up

Now have to add screw driver handle to the list

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An Auvergne and a parsnip, not at the same time! My fav is the wide end of the wine bottle!

But the tens on the outside was fun too! Buzz buzz!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

once had my foot up a lady's pussy was fun watching her gush over my foot slight excruciating pin as her muscles contract as she orgasmed

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By *ittle-Miss-MuffetCouple
over a year ago

Chester / North Wales

"It's not a strange item but we put ice cubes up mrs2 fanny , then we have sex before they melt.

mmmmmmmmmmmm fantastic feeling "

We've done that too!

Felt very strange for both of us, plus when he pulled out it propelled a jet of still-quite-cold water everywhere!

Worth a try for the sensation, but would recommend taking care on the exit..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A carrot in my bottom was fun.

Once eased a wooden spoon handle into an ex's pussy. On another occasion, I shagged the same ex while she had her tampon in. Retrieving it afterwards was eye-watering.

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