FabSwingers.com forum: Training my vanilla partner

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I would love to be a cuck. But in the real world most women are sub in bed & want a good 'seeing to'.

I have a great sex life with my partner. She's sexually submissive (as usual), but this has meant I've been gradually training her over the past few years.

One year her training consisted of no foreplay at all (torture for her because she loves being caressed), I'd just insert my cock. She had to stay limp & open while I used her missionary style until I came inside her.

Next year it was lots of spankings & restraints.

The next year I started restricted her positions (she loves being restricted). She had no doggy style sex or oral for one year. She got doggy on her birthday & has started another period of restriction.

Our sex life has now progressed to her receiving A LOT of fingering & giving a lot of blow jobs (not to completion). She has now admitted she prefers getting fingered to me being inside her. This was hard for her to admit, but I've seen how her body reacts. Now when I enter her after the fingering I tend to cum quickly due to the excitement. I've now proposed no sex for 1 mth, just fingering & she seems willing.

She's also requested we watch porn when having sex & that she'd like a 3-some (with female, but they all say that!)

It seems like we are slowly heading to cuck-ville

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

That's great if you're both enjoying it but it sounds like control freakville to me!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

lol,

I'm not controlling...it's her kink at being controlled that's pushed us these different directions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's great if you're both enjoying it but it sounds like control freakville to me!!"

Nope its dom/sub fun. If it's all agreed and all parts want what's happening then nothing controlling about it. Try speaking to some real subs and hear what they have to say on the subject

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Each to their own, but that doesn't sound like a very healthy way to approach a relationship to me. The simple fact that you 'trained' her for a year to have sex where she remained passive, and no caressing was allowed, sounds unhealthy to me. You might think it's what she wants, but she may inadvertently be compromising her self in the pursuit of your approval and affection.

Like I say, each to their own ~ we have our own kinks and preferences, but they would never dictate our sex life for a period as long as a year, and at no point do they include withholding affection in any way.

V x

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

This sounds very much not my scene.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

She was very much into that play. Of course there was affection in the relationship (that shouldn't need to be stated) - it was exciting kinky play that we both enjoyed immensely.

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By *irkydirkyMan
over a year ago

wigan

She prefer your finger to your cock..oh I wish I had an amazing sex life like that

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"That's great if you're both enjoying it but it sounds like control freakville to me!!

Nope its dom/sub fun. If it's all agreed and all parts want what's happening then nothing controlling about it. Try speaking to some real subs and hear what they have to say on the subject "

It might be your definition of dom/sub fun but it doesn't mean it's everybody else's

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We can conclude from this thread that - everyone has different turn ons.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"We can conclude from this thread that - everyone has different turn ons. "

And that your partner isn't that vanilla!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've called your partner 'vanilla' which infers that you are leading her in a direction that suits you and essentially changing her. Whether she enjoys it or not, it doesn't sound like a healthy dynamic where limits are discussed and agreed as a couple.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"You've called your partner 'vanilla' which infers that you are leading her in a direction that suits you and essentially changing her. Whether she enjoys it or not, it doesn't sound like a healthy dynamic where limits are discussed and agreed as a couple. "

Yeah, this sounds manipulative. To each their own, generally, but everyone playing has to be on board.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would love to be a cuck. But in the real world most women are sub in bed & want a good 'seeing to'.

I have a great sex life with my partner. She's sexually submissive (as usual), but this has meant I've been gradually training her over the past few years.

Next year it was lots of spankings & restraints.

She's also requested we watch porn when having sex & that she'd like a 3-some (with female, but they all say that!)

It seems like we are slowly heading to cuck-ville

I’m a sub to Mr. He would never use me like you have, expect me just to lie there and be used. My enjoyment is as important to him as his is to me. He doesn’t “train’ me, I’m not a performing animal, and would be dubious about giving my trust to him if he treated me so.

You say she enjoys it, and obviously everyone only has your word to go by in that. You don’t say if you make her cum. Tbh it sounds like someone who loves you and is being used for your pleasure only.

Please don’t bring anyone else into your sex life, as it sounds like she would be expected to put on a show, and then ignore her own feelings as you fucked another woman, and be more a spectator or performer. Sounds like she’d agree to anything, even if it damaged her emotionally, to please you.

Maybe an experienced dom should comment as well.

If you both truly enjoy this then I wish you well, if it’s more for you, that’s not so good. She’s not vanilla, you don’t sound like a true dom, you’re here on a single profile- why don’t you have a couples profile if she wants to have a threesome- does she know you’re here?

Dom/sub/cuck relationships have to have respect and transparency, and be mutually beneficial.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My goodness there's a lot of judgement on this thread. 'Vanilla' was for a catchy headline, she's clearly not vanilla.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would love to be a cuck. But in the real world most women are sub in bed & want a good 'seeing to'.

I have a great sex life with my partner. She's sexually submissive (as usual), but this has meant I've been gradually training her over the past few years.

Next year it was lots of spankings & restraints.

She's also requested we watch porn when having sex & that she'd like a 3-some (with female, but they all say that!)

It seems like we are slowly heading to cuck-ville

Maybe an experienced dom should comment as well.

Dom/sub/cuck relationships have to have respect and transparency, and be mutually beneficial."

Oh, btw, I’m not naturally submissive, only to Mr. Before him, and with others we’ve met, I have been equal or dominant. I’m only responding on here as someone mentioned it would be interesting getting a sub’s perspective- I’m not speaking for all subs, just me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Each to their own, but that doesn't sound like a very healthy way to approach a relationship to me. The simple fact that you 'trained' her for a year to have sex where she remained passive, and no caressing was allowed, sounds unhealthy to me. You might think it's what she wants, but she may inadvertently be compromising her self in the pursuit of your approval and affection.

V x "

I'd like to think I've a fairly good knowledge of Domination and Submission, but I'm with Ravensong on this.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I honestly can't decide whether to think th is belongs in the "Stories & Fantasies" section, is some mixed up and misguided nonsense or a serious post!!

There are some very mixed messages and totally invalid statements in your post OP and that's not me being judgemental at all, it's an opinion nothing more - if what you have described is actually the case and is both informed and consensual for *both* of you - then if it works for you *both*, then good for you - however it really wouldn't be for me and I daresay nor for a lot of others either.

What I really don't understand is how the path you have described would be one towards you being a cuckold - which generally comes from the lady having a position of dominance not submission as you have described.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"My goodness there's a lot of judgement on this thread. 'Vanilla' was for a catchy headline, she's clearly not vanilla."

What exactly did you expect?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would love to be a cuck. But in the real world most women are sub in bed & want a good 'seeing to'.

I have a great sex life with my partner. She's sexually submissive (as usual), but this has meant I've been gradually training her over the past few years.

all I can say is "gosh"

Next year it was lots of spankings & restraints.

She's also requested we watch porn when having sex & that she'd like a 3-some (with female, but they all say that!)

It seems like we are slowly heading to cuck-ville

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Oh and as for the statement:

"But in the real world most women are sub in bed & want a good 'seeing to'.

I have a great sex life with my partner. She's sexually submissive (as usual)"

You clearly don't know women as well as you think you might - yes *some* are sexually submissive but to say 'most' are is very wide of the mark, and a pretty derogatory and arrogant statement to make.

As for women wanting a "good seeing to" - I thought that philosophy had been left in the 70s!!

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"My goodness there's a lot of judgement on this thread. 'Vanilla' was for a catchy headline, she's clearly not vanilla."

Oh dear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't see that people are being judgemental by giving their opinion about your original post. Or were you simply looking for validation and a pat on the back?

I'm curious, you've obviously been with your partner for quite some time (Judging by the time frames mentioned in your post), and you've been on this site for over a year ~ is she aware that you're actively looking for another woman to explore with (I'm going on the info in your profile)?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would love to be a cuck. But in the real world most women are sub in bed & want a good 'seeing to'.

I have a great sex life with my partner. She's sexually submissive (as usual), but this has meant I've been gradually training her over the past few years.

Next year it was lots of spankings & restraints.

She's also requested we watch porn when having sex & that she'd like a 3-some (with female, but they all say that!)

It seems like we are slowly heading to cuck-ville

I'm not going to comment on the D/s element because I'm not qualified to and the only people who really know the situation are you and your partner.

I'm just interested about some of the training periods. Did you miss having foreplay and connection during the year when she just last there? Were you intimate outside of sex?

Likewise, in restrictions the positions, you also restricted yourself. It's now at the stage where you finger your partner and then come almost immediately. Where does the excitement come from for you? Will you be getting aroused while you have a month of no sex?

Are you equals in other parts of your life eg financial decisions, chores etc?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"My goodness there's a lot of judgement on this thread. 'Vanilla' was for a catchy headline, she's clearly not vanilla.

Oh dear

Yeah, catchy doesn't mean lies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

your all mad you know,,maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"your all mad you know,,maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad

And you're not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My goodness there's a lot of judgement on this thread. 'Vanilla' was for a catchy headline, she's clearly not vanilla.

Oh dear

Yeah, catchy doesn't mean lies. "

Clearly the single op doesn’t lie...unless he’s making the long term partner up, or he’s not actually single?

it’s silly to post on a forum about being attached, but claim elsewhere to be single x

not judging op, just pointing out it’s a bit daft, and makes people question the truth behind your post x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op I've read your post couple of times and I'm very confused.

First, does your partner no you are on fab?

Secondly you don't speak very highly of women in general. Women only want a good seeing to. She is submissive as usual.

Sorry but I get the impression she is bored with it all. Think I would be too if you starved me oh no foreplay or restricted my positions.

You make her sound more like a dog than a woman.....

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Op I've read your post couple of times and I'm very confused.

First, does your partner no you are on fab?

Secondly you don't speak very highly of women in general. Women only want a good seeing to. She is submissive as usual.

Sorry but I get the impression she is bored with it all. Think I would be too if you starved me oh no foreplay or restricted my positions.

You make her sound more like a dog than a woman....."

Yeah, I was thinking dog too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Op I've read your post couple of times and I'm very confused.

First, does your partner no you are on fab?

Secondly you don't speak very highly of women in general. Women only want a good seeing to. She is submissive as usual.

Sorry but I get the impression she is bored with it all. Think I would be too if you starved me oh no foreplay or restricted my positions.

You make her sound more like a dog than a woman.....

Yeah, I was thinking dog too. "

That’s why I said performing animal

in my response, I thought the same thing, but didn’t want to refer to myself as a dog, haha xx

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

[Removed by poster at 17/02/19 21:16:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Op I've read your post couple of times and I'm very confused.

First, does your partner no you are on fab?

Secondly you don't speak very highly of women in general. Women only want a good seeing to. She is submissive as usual.

Sorry but I get the impression she is bored with it all. Think I would be too if you starved me oh no foreplay or restricted my positions.

You make her sound more like a dog than a woman.....

Yeah, I was thinking dog too.

That’s why I said performing animal

in my response, I thought the same thing, but didn’t want to refer to myself as a dog, haha xx"

Lol.... if op comes back saying he's been taking his partner for walkies I'm going to get very worried

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh and as for the statement:

"But in the real world most women are sub in bed & want a good 'seeing to'.

I have a great sex life with my partner. She's sexually submissive (as usual)"

As for women wanting a "good seeing to" - I thought that philosophy had been left in the 70s!!"

Definitely belongs in the Stories and Fantasies section!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh and as for the statement:

"But in the real world most women are sub in bed & want a good 'seeing to'.

I have a great sex life with my partner. She's sexually submissive (as usual)"

As for women wanting a "good seeing to" - I thought that philosophy had been left in the 70s!!

Definitely belongs in the Stories and Fantasies section!

Think I'm inclined to agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Op I've read your post couple of times and I'm very confused.

First, does your partner no you are on fab?

Secondly you don't speak very highly of women in general. Women only want a good seeing to. She is submissive as usual.

Sorry but I get the impression she is bored with it all. Think I would be too if you starved me oh no foreplay or restricted my positions.

You make her sound more like a dog than a woman....."

His profile states he is a "single" man too

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By *reeMan
over a year ago

Paisley

"That's great if you're both enjoying it but it sounds like control freakville to me!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"your all mad you know,,maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad

And you're not?

omg,,you wierdo,,lol,,wowzers,,,no,,no,,nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,,jeepers man im pretty cool

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"your all mad you know,,maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad

And you're not?

omg,,you wierdo,,lol,,wowzers,,,no,,no,,nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,,jeepers man im pretty cool

I think youre about as wierd as me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can only assume that this is written as a joke or some sort of post to get a reaction on the forums.

The amount of red flags and inconsistencies in this “story” is unbelievable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So are you on here seeking a woman to make up the threesome, or are you looking to quench those desires just with her?

It’s not something I’m into or completely ‘get’ but my understanding is in both scenarios you mention in your OP it can only work if there is trust & mutual respect - something which is missing imo.

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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset

"I can only assume that this is written as a joke or some sort of post to get a reaction on the forums.

The amount of red flags and inconsistencies in this “story” is unbelievable."

Totally agree with this response, when we read the OP, it screamed out ... single male without the first clue what he was talking about, just another attention seeker... or maybe a joke thread by someone who will be gone from the site within a week.

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Op I've read your post couple of times and I'm very confused.

First, does your partner no you are on fab?

Secondly you don't speak very highly of women in general. Women only want a good seeing to. She is submissive as usual.

Sorry but I get the impression she is bored with it all. Think I would be too if you starved me oh no foreplay or restricted my positions.

You make her sound more like a dog than a woman.....

Yeah, I was thinking dog too.

That’s why I said performing animal

in my response, I thought the same thing, but didn’t want to refer to myself as a dog, haha xx

Lol.... if op comes back saying he's been taking his partner for walkies I'm going to get very worried

That's if he lets her outside the house.

The OP has quite a worrying view on women and the complete control he should have over them. One could even say his treatment of her is bordering on abuse. Despite being single, the OP's partner may be accepting this treatment out of fear, uncertainty or both. The OP is simply getting her to do what he wants seemingly without any regard to her mental wellbeing.

This is definitely the type of guy I'd never wish to meet.

Bonnie x

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

It’s all a bit odd. Try the green arrow.

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

"It’s all a bit odd. Try the green arrow. "

He does seem to have a one track mind.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"It’s all a bit odd. Try the green arrow.

He does seem to have a one track mind."

The thing is and what I don't understand is what the green arrow reveals doesn't tally with the majority of the OP - I asked further up and he's not been back to comment since, but I don't see how domination of his girlfriend has any bearing on cuckolding at all.

Which is why I suspect this would be better placed in stories and fantasies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Op I've read your post couple of times and I'm very confused.

First, does your partner no you are on fab?

Secondly you don't speak very highly of women in general. Women only want a good seeing to. She is submissive as usual.

Sorry but I get the impression she is bored with it all. Think I would be too if you starved me oh no foreplay or restricted my positions.

You make her sound more like a dog than a woman.....

Yeah, I was thinking dog too.

That’s why I said performing animal

in my response, I thought the same thing, but didn’t want to refer to myself as a dog, haha xx

Lol.... if op comes back saying he's been taking his partner for walkies I'm going to get very worried

That's if he lets her outside the house.

This is definitely the type of guy I'd never wish to meet.

Bonnie x"

I agree.... certainly a control freak. Hasn't even come back on to defend himself. Which now makes me think he is seeking attention as some of the other comments suggest..... sad man

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

After the last three years of this experience take it you been single for some time

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

"After the last three years of this experience take it you been single for some time "

He's only FAB single though...

On his profile he's a single male. On the forum he has a partner who he's been with for some years.

With the lies and his apparent need to dominate/control women it's worrying that he's lurking about on a swingers site. Plus I'd suspect that, as far as he's concerned, boundaries are only for cricket pitches.

As I said previously, definitely not the kind of person I'd wish to meet.

Bonnie x

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

"After the last three years of this experience take it you been single for some time

He's only FAB single though...

On his profile he's a single male. On the forum he has a partner who he's been with for some years.

As I said previously, definitely not the kind of person I'd wish to meet.

Bonnie x"

Yep he’s definitely single, and probably not very successful

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