FabSwingers.com forum: wife's work colleague

By *astispair OP Couple
over a year ago

Hornchurch

Yesterday Mrs P was consoling her friend at work, whose marriage has irretrievably broken down. We've known about this for a long time. He's been horrible to her, but for now they are still living under the same roof but act like passing ships. She was saying how she misses sex and feels unattractive. However she has no desire for a new relationship until she is living independently. To raise her self esteem my wife told her how I had always said I fancied her, & often joked about having a threesome with her, which is true. They had a giggle about it as she knows about our lifestyle. But at least the chat had ended on a high note. However later in the afternoon, she came up to her and stated that she would like very much to be intimate with people she knows & trusts. It would take her mind away from her miserable home life. But we have a dilemma. Are we taking advantage of her? And we've always had an unwritten rule about not playing with people, that we know, in our 'normal' life. But it's not going to make her feel great about being rejected either!! Any advice?

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By *nglishdoodMan
over a year ago

Morristown

That's a tough one, but impulsive as I am, I'd steer clear.

The downside of your wife's career and work life being affected are too big a risk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's a tough one, but impulsive as I am, I'd steer clear.

The downside of your wife's career and work life being affected are too big a risk. "

What Steve said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yesterday Mrs P was consoling her friend at work, whose marriage has irretrievably broken down. We've known about this for a long time. He's been horrible to her, but for now they are still living under the same roof but act like passing ships. She was saying how she misses sex and feels unattractive. However she has no desire for a new relationship until she is living independently. To raise her self esteem my wife told her how I had always said I fancied her, & often joked about having a threesome with her, which is true. They had a giggle about it as she knows about our lifestyle. But at least the chat had ended on a high note. However later in the afternoon, she came up to her and stated that she would like very much to be intimate with people she knows & trusts. It would take her mind away from her miserable home life. But we have a dilemma. Are we taking advantage of her? And we've always had an unwritten rule about not playing with people, that we know, in our 'normal' life. But it's not going to make her feel great about being rejected either!! Any advice?"

May cause more drama not worth it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like she's at a very low point.

I would steer clear

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I would definitely steer clear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope..not worth the potential hassle it could cause.

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By *nglishdoodMan
over a year ago

Morristown

Just buy her a Rabbit and a box of chocolates.

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By *aughtyandhandsomeMan
over a year ago

button moon

Shes a work colleague and as you state shes your wife's friend. I'd avoid because if it goes wrong then work becomes awkward and a friendship probably lost. I'd avoid if I was you

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By *istressdandsubtCouple
over a year ago

caterham

What does your wife say, what does she think you should do as all the fallout if there was any would be on her and at her work,

If this lady knows you swing ,it maybe something she has wanted to do too, so an easy way to try.

But as others have said it may be better to steer clear or take her to a club and let her go off and have some fun bit knowing she has you two as a couple for safety and guidance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly? Well think with your head if you made rules it was for a good reason im guessing so I would say stick to them. you could introduce her to me though im a sympathetic guy with a shed load of beenie hats.

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By *emel9Man
over a year ago

West Midlands

Steer clear, but point her in the direction of this site, group socials and maybe clubs.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Get your wife to tell her that casual sex when you're vulnerable isn't a great idea and neither of you are comfortable with that.

If you have unwritten rules you can't be breaking them because you feel sorry for somebody

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By *sh6866Man
over a year ago

halifax

How about inviting her over for a conversation about your concerns..make it clear that's all it will be at this stage

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By *hezGeekCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

We’d say steer clear too. Maybe as mentioned above, when she feels ready introduce her to Fab, or invite her to some club/social meets so that she gets a chance to get out and meet new folk, potentially distract herself from things and still maintain that ‘personal/professional’ relationship with you two - you have helped her out and not ‘rejected’ her per se, but still kept within your own rules.

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By *astispair OP Couple
over a year ago

Hornchurch

"What does your wife say, what does she think you should do as all the fallout if there was any would be on her and at her work,

If this lady knows you swing ,it maybe something she has wanted to do too, so an easy way to try.

But as others have said it may be better to steer clear or take her to a club and let her go off and have some fun bit knowing she has you two as a couple for safety and guidance "
She's a lovely lady, around our own age, who we would trust to keep our secrets which is why she knows about our swinging & she confides in my wife. But the club visit is a good idea, even though I'm not sure if that would be a step too far for her at this stage.

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By *astispair OP Couple
over a year ago

Hornchurch

"Honestly? Well think with your head if you made rules it was for a good reason im guessing so I would say stick to them. you could introduce her to me though im a sympathetic guy with a shed load of beenie hats.

"
You know what? I think that may just solve all her problems!!

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By *astispair OP Couple
over a year ago

Hornchurch

Thank you everyone. They have all been brilliant comments on here. Some real food for thought. I think we'll invite her for dinner & chat about it seriously. Maybe introduce her to the scene. It's important she knows we're going to put her best interests to the fore. I think long term she'll appreciate that. A night at a swingers club, if nothing else, will give her a good night out with chaperones on hand. Thanks again!! x

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath

I don't think it would be taking advantage. As your wife's work colleague I think it would be best to steer well clear. May be problematic in the future. If instead, she was a family friend the worse that could happen would be the loss of a friend, those friends you share and telling your mum.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I think it would be a bad move..as you said yourself.. taking advantage...

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By *aslad19Man
over a year ago

southshields

Sorry mate but steer clear , too close to home , think about your wife at work every day with this lady , eventually something would have to give ...

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By *hil39Man
over a year ago

Dagenham

As most have said, support the lady but I don't think it wise to do any more than that. There are local guys on here and if there are no kids to look after why doesn't she get herself out even if only once a week, will do her the world of good

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By *orkspoonMan
over a year ago

nearby

She did she wants intimacy with people she knows and trusts. A club would be the exact opposite of this! She's saying she doesn't feel up to meeting new people, and personally I think she's looking for comfort rather than sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her straight what your rules are , and go for it. . consenting adults and all that....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do it!!! Invite her over for a no pressure cuppa and chat and just go with it! Good luck

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath

Depends whether your head or todger is doing the thinking. Whatever happens don't pretend it's all a big surprise. Decide and stick with it.

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