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The lifestyle; Difference of opinion

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By *ucks4fun OP   Couple
over a year ago

london

Me and my partner were on a break some time ago when we got back together, i wanted to be truthful with her going forward.

So I let her know of my desire (which i always had but never told her) to try "swinging" which she was acceptive of, we made an account, we went to a sauna (Rio's), but it has never gone any further.

She thought it was just a passing fantasy...just wanted to know if anyone has gone through this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People go off the idea of swinging sometimes. Maybe she was only doing it to please you. Have you asked her if she wants to do it again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a massive step to take as a couple. Not one I'd advise for a couple that are unsure about one another. It's not a solution to anything in your relationship, it can bring strong couples closer together, but it'll potentially destroy weaker ones.

It would have paid to be more open earlier on, I usually drop the fact I am on here, quite early on in conversation (probably why I'm still single ). I guarantee they'll usually have loads of interesting questions and misconceptions.

If you're dead set on this path and she isn't. You know what you have to do.

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By *exyfuncouple-40Couple
over a year ago

Bloxham

Sounds like a mistake

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Swinging is a very broad term, I would suggest you discuss in depth each of your desires, see if there is a match and therefore a path along which you can both venture.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If you're referring to it as the lifestyle I'd assume that for you, it was much more than a passing fantasy but it seems that she hoped it was. We've never experienced your situation but we do sometimes disagree on how we want to do things that's when we have a chat and sort it out.

Good luck

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

Rios isn't really the sort of way to introduce anyone to the lifestyle -surely you could have found a better club than that?

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By *ucks4fun OP   Couple
over a year ago

london


"It's a massive step to take as a couple. Not one I'd advise for a couple that are unsure about one another. It's not a solution to anything in your relationship, it can bring strong couples closer together, but it'll potentially destroy weaker ones.

It would have paid to be more open earlier on, I usually drop the fact I am on here, quite early on in conversation (probably why I'm still single ). I guarantee they'll usually have loads of interesting questions and misconceptions.

If you're dead set on this path and she isn't. You know what you have to do."

thanks i'll take that on board

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By *ucks4fun OP   Couple
over a year ago

london


"People go off the idea of swinging sometimes. Maybe she was only doing it to please you. Have you asked her if she wants to do it again?"

we have talked about & the thing is I've laid off bothering her about it but the thoughts and feeling for me don't just go away....

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By *ucks4fun OP   Couple
over a year ago

london


"Rios isn't really the sort of way to introduce anyone to the lifestyle -surely you could have found a better club than that?"

I don't know how we ended up at rio's I think it was a decision from the both of us but all in all it was a good experience and we went there a couple of times

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By *ucks4fun OP   Couple
over a year ago

london


"Swinging is a very broad term, I would suggest you discuss in depth each of your desires, see if there is a match and therefore a path along which you can both venture."

that is sound advice thanks, I think that is something we need to do it should bring us some clarity

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By *empsey and hotpieceMan
over a year ago

North west


"Me and my partner were on a break some time ago when we got back together, i wanted to be truthful with her going forward.

So I let her know of my desire (which i always had but never told her) to try "swinging" which she was acceptive of, we made an account, we went to a sauna (Rio's), but it has never gone any further.

She thought it was just a passing fantasy...just wanted to know if anyone has gone through this? "

Is she aware you still have an active couples account?

I completely understand your dilemma, and if you truly feel you need that extra rush that swinging can give, and your lady isn’t interested, then it’s probably safe to say, you arnt sexually compatible.

My own experience was, in former relationships, I always felt there was something missing but didn’t know what it was. That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy good sex with those ex’s, but I just knew I wasn’t completely fulfilled, and that’s part of the reason those relationships ended.

I met Kim when I was 45 and knew pretty soon there was something different, she’d never swung before, but I could just tell she had an untapped sexuality, within the first couple of months we visited a club and she enjoyed it.

6 years on and it’s been a learning curve, we now know how to respect each other’s needs and work as a team.

Swinging gives us a stronger relationship, a far deeper love and trust, but it’s certainly not for everyone, you have to be on the same page from the beginning.

Good luck

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By *ucks4fun OP   Couple
over a year ago

london


"If you're referring to it as the lifestyle I'd assume that for you, it was much more than a passing fantasy but it seems that she hoped it was. We've never experienced your situation but we do sometimes disagree on how we want to do things that's when we have a chat and sort it out.

Good luck "

thanks

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By *ucks4fun OP   Couple
over a year ago

london


"Sounds like a mistake "

;-)I hear you but i don't think so

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By *ucks4fun OP   Couple
over a year ago

london


"Me and my partner were on a break some time ago when we got back together, i wanted to be truthful with her going forward.

So I let her know of my desire (which i always had but never told her) to try "swinging" which she was acceptive of, we made an account, we went to a sauna (Rio's), but it has never gone any further.

She thought it was just a passing fantasy...just wanted to know if anyone has gone through this?

Is she aware you still have an active couples account?

I completely understand your dilemma, and if you truly feel you need that extra rush that swinging can give, and your lady isn’t interested, then it’s probably safe to say, you arnt sexually compatible.

My own experience was, in former relationships, I always felt there was something missing but didn’t know what it was. That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy good sex with those ex’s, but I just knew I wasn’t completely fulfilled, and that’s part of the reason those relationships ended.

I met Kim when I was 45 and knew pretty soon there was something different, she’d never swung before, but I could just tell she had an untapped sexuality, within the first couple of months we visited a club and she enjoyed it.

6 years on and it’s been a learning curve, we now know how to respect each other’s needs and work as a team.

Swinging gives us a stronger relationship, a far deeper love and trust, but it’s certainly not for everyone, you have to be on the same page from the beginning.

Good luck"

100% she know its liked to her email, I want to stay truthful.

Sorry no it has nothing to do with her i'm still attracted to her. I was in to this long before her its just I never knew about fab ect..., which just showed me a way in ( in terms of a community i.e ppl to talk to )

like I said I was open about my desires

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By *empsey and hotpieceMan
over a year ago

North west

She looks like a girl who isn’t afraid to show her sexuality, so maybe a gentle approach.

How about finding an experienced couple who’d be willing to meet up with you both for a few drinks and chat to her about swinging and their experiences. No sexual expectations.It might intrigue her or turn her off, but talking about it in a totally social environment with no pressure could be the way to go.

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire


"Swinging is a very broad term, I would suggest you discuss in depth each of your desires, see if there is a match and therefore a path along which you can both venture."

This

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