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Read, not deleted, but no reply

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Before any of the forum trolls jump on this I know I have no god given right to a reply, but countless times my messages get read, not deleted, and then not replied to.

Any ladies out there do their best to reply to all messages? or just sift out the ones you’re interested in. If a lady reads my messages and deletes it - message understood no problem at all

A polite no thanks/not for me is completely fine! It’s the anticipation of a reply that isn’t coming that I find annoying

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

No reply means not interested. Do not overthink it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get used to it pal

I’ve been on here ages and still looking for that elusive first meet

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It could mean they're meaning to come back to it. It could mean they haven't deleted. No way to know. Don't dwell, move on. (I say this in the nicest way possible)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Before any of the forum trolls jump on this I know I have no god given right to a reply, but countless times my messages get read, not deleted, and then not replied to.

Any ladies out there do their best to reply to all messages? or just sift out the ones you’re interested in. If a lady reads my messages and deletes it - message understood no problem at all

A polite no thanks/not for me is completely fine! It’s the anticipation of a reply that isn’t coming that I find annoying "

I try to reply to all the messages I receive, genuinely. However, why should I waste my time replying to a message that has had zero thought or effort put into it? Where there is effort made, I’ll reciprocate, even if it is to say thank you, but no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Before any of the forum trolls jump on this I know I have no god given right to a reply, but countless times my messages get read, not deleted, and then not replied to.

Any ladies out there do their best to reply to all messages? or just sift out the ones you’re interested in. If a lady reads my messages and deletes it - message understood no problem at all

A polite no thanks/not for me is completely fine! It’s the anticipation of a reply that isn’t coming that I find annoying "

It really baffles me how men can be confused with a read and no reply. You didn’t get a reply. Simple as that. Delete your sent box so you aren’t sat watching it.

I used to bulk delete my messages weekly, and I was accused of ‘leading’ men on because I didn’t delete their message instantly

Baffles me to no end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best advice is to clear you sent messages so you're not sat checking and wondering.

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

We always reply even if it takes a while.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Before any of the forum trolls jump on this I know I have no god given right to a reply, but countless times my messages get read, not deleted, and then not replied to.

Any ladies out there do their best to reply to all messages? or just sift out the ones you’re interested in. If a lady reads my messages and deletes it - message understood no problem at all

A polite no thanks/not for me is completely fine! It’s the anticipation of a reply that isn’t coming that I find annoying "

I try to answer and be polite but not everyone is fine with a polite no thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try my best to reply to all my messages. They can build up though, if I'm busy, and some get lost.

Occasionally, I read one and can't decide if I want to talk or say no thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree with the above.

Don't be a slave to your sent messages. If you get a reply it is a welcome surprise!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

On this side, if women reply with anything other than interest, we risk getting abuse. You might not, but I don't know that and I'd rather not. Sometimes there is too much mail to get my head around. Stuff slips through the cracks. It's not personal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to feel the same way. You adapt and change, or give up .

If you had 40messages sat in your inbox, you have 10 mates bugging you at once on various apps. Family in real life.

Would you be arsed about taking the time with every single one? Especially if loads of them are unthought out bollocks from someone who isn't listening/reading/experienced.

Adapt or die

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I reply if it's clear they have read my profile and have sent a decent message.

Sometimes i leave messages and do a bulk delete.

Just delete after you send op,save the angst.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Before any of the forum trolls jump on this I know I have no god given right to a reply, but countless times my messages get read, not deleted, and then not replied to.

Any ladies out there do their best to reply to all messages? or just sift out the ones you’re interested in. If a lady reads my messages and deletes it - message understood no problem at all

A polite no thanks/not for me is completely fine! It’s the anticipation of a reply that isn’t coming that I find annoying

It really baffles me how men can be confused with a read and no reply. You didn’t get a reply. Simple as that. Delete your sent box so you aren’t sat watching it.

I used to bulk delete my messages weekly, and I was accused of ‘leading’ men on because I didn’t delete their message instantly

Baffles me to no end"

How many were you not reading and bulk deleting every week?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Before any of the forum trolls jump on this I know I have no god given right to a reply, but countless times my messages get read, not deleted, and then not replied to.

Any ladies out there do their best to reply to all messages? or just sift out the ones you’re interested in. If a lady reads my messages and deletes it - message understood no problem at all

A polite no thanks/not for me is completely fine! It’s the anticipation of a reply that isn’t coming that I find annoying

It really baffles me how men can be confused with a read and no reply. You didn’t get a reply. Simple as that. Delete your sent box so you aren’t sat watching it.

I used to bulk delete my messages weekly, and I was accused of ‘leading’ men on because I didn’t delete their message instantly

Baffles me to no end

How many were you not reading and bulk deleting every week?"

I’d read them all

If I wanted to reply but didn’t have time to reply I’d mark it as unread

Some weeks I don’t open any and sit on a Sunday evening (when I’m never busy) and open them all and delete individually.

The past few days I’ve been replying to all of them as a wee experiment. I’m probably going to go back to ignoring

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I tend to not reply.

Attraction is hard to be specific about. I reply if I get a sense that the sender and I may get along. Sometimes I get it wrong. But I rely heavily on the first impression of profile and message.

V x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Before any of the forum trolls jump on this I know I have no god given right to a reply, but countless times my messages get read, not deleted, and then not replied to.

Any ladies out there do their best to reply to all messages? or just sift out the ones you’re interested in. If a lady reads my messages and deletes it - message understood no problem at all

A polite no thanks/not for me is completely fine! It’s the anticipation of a reply that isn’t coming that I find annoying

I try to reply to all the messages I receive, genuinely. However, why should I waste my time replying to a message that has had zero thought or effort put into it? Where there is effort made, I’ll reciprocate, even if it is to say thank you, but no thanks. "

Agreed plus sometimes messages can be chaos x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don’t reply to all of them, some we leave read and get back to them at a later time, some we just delete, some we reply to, it depends mainly if they have been bothered to read our profile and what the persons message is, if it’s just “hi, want a fuck” it gets deleted lol.

Mr & Mrs C.

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By *onygirlieWoman
over a year ago

Leicestershire

I always read them. If I don't think the guy is for me I don't always reply, because I feel horrible giving that rejection. Or sometimes I don't because they have clearly not read my profile or only have cock pics. I wonder how much interest I would get if I just stuck up a pic of my fanny!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It could mean they're meaning to come back to it. It could mean they haven't deleted. No way to know. Don't dwell, move on. (I say this in the nicest way possible) "

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By *winger212Woman
over a year ago

Live in spain

I reply to every single message. Mostly a "thank you, happy fabbing", however it doesn't take long to write a reply.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Look at it another way OP (if you're actually reading this) - have you replied to each and every comment left on this thread that you started, all of which are very good and make valid points, or have you just left us all to wonder if you've read them and might or might not reply to them?

Same principle applies to messages really

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Look at it another way OP (if you're actually reading this) - have you replied to each and every comment left on this thread that you started, all of which are very good and make valid points, or have you just left us all to wonder if you've read them and might or might not reply to them?

Same principle applies to messages really "

Oh, you got there first. This is normally what I'd put on this type of thread.

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

Sift.

I delete any I'm not obviously interested in.

I'll answer any I am.

I'll read where I'm not sure.

I don't often leave unread (not helpful) but if I do it's either a mistake or I'm not interested but not 100% sure so planning to reread later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read all my msg last month and replied to it straight away lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We always reply even if it takes a while. "

I can vouch for that .. Put a little effort into your messages and if you don't get a reply don't dwell upon it and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Putting effort in to the message is your only hope. Although I do get quite a few which just say “Hi” or “Hay” but only ladies can get away with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get lots of messages from people who'd know we didn't want to. hear from them if they'd bothered to read our profike - they get a straight delete and block.

If they're suitable on paper but just not for me then they'll get a polite no thanks if they sent a semi decent message. If you're like he guy this morning who sent "Cor, ur tits great" - you'll just get deleted.

Women get A LOT of messages and the constant dickishness can leave us jaded.

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By *eal Deal PartiesWoman
over a year ago

x


"No reply means not interested. Do not overthink it."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find if i answer and say no thanx i keep getting messeges from the same person then block them they make a new profile and starts all over again

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By *uniperjuiceMan
over a year ago

East Midlands


"... I wonder how much interest I would get if I just stuck up a pic of my fanny!! "

Too much I fear, and probably not from the sort of person you want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's just a different set of rules OP that you need to get used to. Also double standards is the norm here eg I was messaged for a face pic by a couple and asked for theirs first. There was no effort in the message to grab my attention lol. It is just the numbers of men compared to women and couples.

First stage is confusion, 2nd is anger and then finally acceptance. Just accept it is the way it is on fab and don't take it personally. Good luck and happy swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get used it mate , they only tend to be interested if you're masculine, well endowed or black.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest, I feel that with some of the behaviour on here it's easier for women to just delete or not reply as reading some of the status, some men can't accept a polite no thank you and then turn nasty...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get used it mate , they only tend to be interested if you're masculine, well endowed or black. "

So will you be deleting your profile?

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"Get used it mate , they only tend to be interested if you're masculine, well endowed or black. "

What a load of rubbish, I'm certainly not two of those things, and the third is a matter of opinion, and I find the site more than meets my expectations in terms of both interaction and meeting others, and know that goes for a lot of other guys too - it's a question of setting your expectations, attitude and approach correctly and understanding how the site works, get those things right and you won't be guaranteed anything but your experience will be a whole lot better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only delete the ones that absolute disgust me other than that I never delete.

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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside


"No reply means not interested. Do not overthink it."

simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just move on...try again in a week or two. Sure isn't it their loss?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Get used it mate , they only tend to be interested if you're masculine, well endowed or black. "

Nonsense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just move on...try again in a week or two. Sure isn't it their loss? "

How can it be ‘their loss’ if they weren’t interested in the first place?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha, god some people don't think before opening their keyboards do they, if they answer then they may be interested, if they don't then it's obvious... can't get much simpler than that really...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just move on...try again in a week or two. Sure isn't it their loss?

How can it be ‘their loss’ if they weren’t interested in the first place?"

Indeed...but they don't know what they're missing!! ... It's just a self-comforting thought really. Wasn't actually being serious...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just move on...try again in a week or two. Sure isn't it their loss?

How can it be ‘their loss’ if they weren’t interested in the first place?"

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By *uminsiderMKMan
over a year ago

St Austell

For me, I hope that a read but not replied to message that's not been deleted means the recipient is interested, or thinking about it, and may get back to me later...

....it's when it happens during a message exchange that's been going well but suddenly stops, and they've logged in numerous times since - and that last message is sitting there, unreplied too...

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London


"It could mean they're meaning to come back to it. It could mean they haven't deleted. No way to know. Don't dwell, move on. (I say this in the nicest way possible) "
Absolutely the best advice by far...

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

Independent minded fuckers -whatever next

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one is obliged to reply. I don’t understand why this is so hard for people to get their heads around. I’ve sent messages that have been read and left, or deleted. No skin off my nose. We’re not what they’re looking for. Simple.

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By *etite HandfulWoman
over a year ago

Chester


"Before any of the forum trolls jump on this I know I have no god given right to a reply, but countless times my messages get read, not deleted, and then not replied to.

Any ladies out there do their best to reply to all messages? or just sift out the ones you’re interested in. If a lady reads my messages and deletes it - message understood no problem at all

A polite no thanks/not for me is completely fine! It’s the anticipation of a reply that isn’t coming that I find annoying "

A polite no thanks will end up with abuse or a why not 20-30% of the time so its better not to reply as its not worth the hassle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly, why open yourself up for potential abuse, like everything else in life, a small number ruin it for everyone...

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"

....it's when it happens during a message exchange that's been going well but suddenly stops, and they've logged in numerous times since - and that last message is sitting there, unreplied too... "

That can be for any number of reasons though and again not worth sweating over - could be because there was nothing further to reply to in their opinion, could be because real life happened and then they forgot to come back to the message next time they logged on or they'd had a flood of other messages that pushed yours down the pile, could simply be they lost interest but didn't want to appear rude by saying so or any number of other reasons.

It's really not worth over thinking it

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"Exactly, why open yourself up for potential abuse, like everything else in life, a small number ruin it for everyone... "

Nope, the only people they ruin it for are themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Exactly, why open yourself up for potential abuse, like everything else in life, a small number ruin it for everyone... "

Not at all. The people ruining it are the people themselves, sending abuse. Nobody ruins something for someone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Exactly, why open yourself up for potential abuse, like everything else in life, a small number ruin it for everyone...

Nope, the only people they ruin it for are themselves "

Oooo snap

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

When I gave up looking at my sent messages and sending messages to random people (not from forum) then I actually enjoyed the messages I did get responses to

I sometimes myself don’t always respond straight away. Especially if at work or at football.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You would be best clearing your sent box, so you are not always looking lovely. That's what I do, when i send a message out . I put in my profile that i dont reply to those who are not my type and to not take it personally. Some men don't take rejection well and will become abusive or continue to message, imploring me to change my mind. Engaging with someone can be a bit like Russian roulette. I never know which one will take offense or nag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to accept that women on here will receive hundreds of messages. Think on this...

I watched as messages sent don’t even get read and after three weeks have elapsed, disappear from my sent items folder. I suspected most messages go unread.

If it gets read, I think “great, they’ve read it”. If they are interested they will reply, if not, they won’t. If they read, and then view my profile, maybe they are interested. But, regardless...

No reply = no interest!

For your own sanity, adopt a “fire and forget” approach. Send, move on. Any come back is a bonus!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So after reading ALL (there you go Gemeni man ) I have a completely clear sent box, unread included - and will do the same every week so as to keep things fresh

Lots of varied opinions but the fact of the matter is just that. They are opinions.

Whilst I think if you read a message, you could reply to the message, I totally understand all the abuse some ladies must get

What out for next forum post: None of my messages are being read

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So after reading ALL (there you go Gemeni man ) I have a completely clear sent box, unread included - and will do the same every week so as to keep things fresh

Lots of varied opinions but the fact of the matter is just that. They are opinions.

Whilst I think if you read a message, you could reply to the message, I totally understand all the abuse some ladies must get

What out for next forum post: None of my messages are being read "

You didn’t reply to everyone individually though, that’s exactly the same as a woman reading all and saying in her profile if she doesn’t reply she’s not interested, it’s a blanket answer to all mail received unless she chooses otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So after reading ALL (there you go Gemeni man ) I have a completely clear sent box, unread included - and will do the same every week so as to keep things fresh

Lots of varied opinions but the fact of the matter is just that. They are opinions.

Whilst I think if you read a message, you could reply to the message, I totally understand all the abuse some ladies must get

What out for next forum post: None of my messages are being read

You didn’t reply to everyone individually though, that’s exactly the same as a woman reading all and saying in her profile if she doesn’t reply she’s not interested, it’s a blanket answer to all mail received unless she chooses otherwise."

Can I point out we are in the forums and not anybody inbox???

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By *erry50Man
over a year ago

Liverpool and Cotswolds

I’ve read nearly all the responses and there is no real answer to this. It reminds me of Brexit I’m afraid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So after reading ALL (there you go Gemeni man ) I have a completely clear sent box, unread included - and will do the same every week so as to keep things fresh

Lots of varied opinions but the fact of the matter is just that. They are opinions.

Whilst I think if you read a message, you could reply to the message, I totally understand all the abuse some ladies must get

What out for next forum post: None of my messages are being read

You didn’t reply to everyone individually though, that’s exactly the same as a woman reading all and saying in her profile if she doesn’t reply she’s not interested, it’s a blanket answer to all mail received unless she chooses otherwise.

Can I point out we are in the forums and not anybody inbox??? "

When I write a post, i reply to every single comment, because I'm inviting them to comment on my post.... that's why i don't start many threads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's just the way it is. I have been on and off here for over 10 years now and it will never change. There's nothing we can do to change that however much it annoys you.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"So after reading ALL (there you go Gemeni man ) I have a completely clear sent box, unread included - and will do the same every week so as to keep things fresh

Lots of varied opinions but the fact of the matter is just that. They are opinions.

Whilst I think if you read a message, you could reply to the message, I totally understand all the abuse some ladies must get

What out for next forum post: None of my messages are being read

You didn’t reply to everyone individually though, that’s exactly the same as a woman reading all and saying in her profile if she doesn’t reply she’s not interested, it’s a blanket answer to all mail received unless she chooses otherwise.

Can I point out we are in the forums and not anybody inbox??? "

We are, but the principle of the ridiculousness of expecting an answer even though it's been read is still the same

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"I’ve read nearly all the responses and there is no real answer to this. It reminds me of Brexit I’m afraid."

There is a very real and very simple answer - acceptance that not every message you send will get a response.

See? Not a back stop in sight - very easy

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By *utonguy2023Man
over a year ago

luton

Standard procedure here it seems

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello,

It could mean a number of things, but as you have no way of knowing, it is probably best just to forget about it and carry on with whatever you were doing

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