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Open relationships

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By *oungnCheeky OP   Couple
over a year ago

East Midlands

So we've been chatting and have agreed that we would love it to have a bit of an open relationship and thought we would both like to get a girlfriend each, anyone have any advice on how to do this as the more we talk about it the more we want it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not thar easy to get a girlfriend, I’ve been trying. Maybe stick to fun with couples xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So we've been chatting and have agreed that we would love it to have a bit of an open relationship and thought we would both like to get a girlfriend each, anyone have any advice on how to do this as the more we talk about it the more we want it. "

Would the male still support tbis if the female said she wanted a boyfriend to see on her own?

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By *oungnCheeky OP   Couple
over a year ago

East Midlands


"It’s not thar easy to get a girlfriend, I’ve been trying. Maybe stick to fun with couples xx"

We don't really meet with couples tbh and Well it wouldn't just be one lol we would like to have one each, greedy I know

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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside


"So we've been chatting and have agreed that we would love it to have a bit of an open relationship and thought we would both like to get a girlfriend each, anyone have any advice on how to do this as the more we talk about it the more we want it.

Would the male still support tbis if the female said she wanted a boyfriend to see on her own?"

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By *oungnCheeky OP   Couple
over a year ago

East Midlands


"So we've been chatting and have agreed that we would love it to have a bit of an open relationship and thought we would both like to get a girlfriend each, anyone have any advice on how to do this as the more we talk about it the more we want it.

Would the male still support tbis if the female said she wanted a boyfriend to see on her own?"

Lol this is the female and I would really like to have a girlfriend aswell as my Mr

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By *i de BiCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

Hopefully you have a good solid relationship and I`ve know couples to split over this type of thing.

One of our friends did this with his wife and he had more meets that her , yes I know very unpredictable but she got very jealous and he found another woman and they parted .....just saying xx

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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside


"So we've been chatting and have agreed that we would love it to have a bit of an open relationship and thought we would both like to get a girlfriend each, anyone have any advice on how to do this as the more we talk about it the more we want it.

Would the male still support tbis if the female said she wanted a boyfriend to see on her own?

Lol this is the female and I would really like to have a girlfriend aswell as my Mr "

i think the question was.. would your hubby be ok if you wanted a bf instead of a gf...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So we've been chatting and have agreed that we would love it to have a bit of an open relationship and thought we would both like to get a girlfriend each, anyone have any advice on how to do this as the more we talk about it the more we want it.

Would the male still support tbis if the female said she wanted a boyfriend to see on her own?

Lol this is the female and I would really like to have a girlfriend aswell as my Mr

i think the question was.. would your hubby be ok if you wanted a bf instead of a gf..."

Exactly this, dynamics can change after a while.

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By *oungnCheeky OP   Couple
over a year ago

East Midlands


"Hopefully you have a good solid relationship and I`ve know couples to split over this type of thing.

One of our friends did this with his wife and he had more meets that her , yes I know very unpredictable but she got very jealous and he found another woman and they parted .....just saying xx "

We have a very solid relationship and we would always check everything with eachother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/01/19 20:54:34]

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By *oungnCheeky OP   Couple
over a year ago

East Midlands


"So we've been chatting and have agreed that we would love it to have a bit of an open relationship and thought we would both like to get a girlfriend each, anyone have any advice on how to do this as the more we talk about it the more we want it.

Would the male still support tbis if the female said she wanted a boyfriend to see on her own?

Lol this is the female and I would really like to have a girlfriend aswell as my Mr

i think the question was.. would your hubby be ok if you wanted a bf instead of a gf..."

Not something that we've talked about as it's not a bf I want

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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside


"So we've been chatting and have agreed that we would love it to have a bit of an open relationship and thought we would both like to get a girlfriend each, anyone have any advice on how to do this as the more we talk about it the more we want it.

Would the male still support tbis if the female said she wanted a boyfriend to see on her own?

Lol this is the female and I would really like to have a girlfriend aswell as my Mr

i think the question was.. would your hubby be ok if you wanted a bf instead of a gf...

Not something that we've talked about as it's not a bf I want "

cool. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now I know that not everyone on here either gets/interested/agrees with the Poly life style and i get that and its totally okay as its down to choice in the end.

But what I have found is this lifestyle opens up the experiences and dynamics to people that may start them considering if poly maybe something worth exploring.

We have lived a poly lifestyle for many years and have had both good and bad experiences of poly.

Let’s start off with all the good parts of Polyamory. Now these may not be in all oly relationships but is generally what I have found.

1. Open Communication

For poly to work you must have amazing two way communication skills.

Poly households need to be able to discuss alot of difficult topics. You need to discuss your relationship dynamics, comfort levels and jealousy. You need to discuss your boundaries and your emotions, which is a great exercise of communication. It can really let you open up about your desires and feelings and learn about the needs of your partner or partners.

2. Cheating/affairs

If you’re open to each other, then you get to be intimate with other people without the damage cheating/affairs can have on a couple. Now i am not saying it can not occur as if couples have set boundaries to their poly relationship and these are broken then cheating can occur.

3. Exploring different dynamics and sexuallity.

Being intimate with more than one person can lead to you being able to exlore all sides of you kink dynamics and your sexuality. It also means that you have more than 1 person to share your life eith opening up an enviroment thar allows you to explore more facets of life. You share lives not just sex.

4. Support and personal growth

The more people you have close to you, the more loving support you hace within your life. This can include additional emotional support, physical support and practical support.

There is a Polyamory theory that the more you are loved, the more you are able to accept love, which in turn makes you a better support system for those around you. That can’t be a bad thing can it ?

So now lets look at some of the negatives that come with a pily lifestyle.

1. Jealousy

Now this is one I always struggled with, i have never really felt or understood jealousy and its something I have had to learn to deal with in others.

At one point i was very silly to assume well your poly you should not be jealous. But thats not true I now understand that people can be in a poly relationship and be jealous. Its how they deal with the jealousy that is the key factor.

In order for the relationships to be successful, you need to be comfortable talking about jealousy and finding ways to solve issues. Ifyou dont do that like in any monogamous relationship it can tear the relationship apart and leave a sea of broken hearts.

2. Juggling time.

Life can get really busy, so making sure everyone gets time is a must. And to be honest this is one of the hardest parts of being poly. I always joke that this is easy fir me as I have a Boo, and she is the Poly PA for the house od pest lol.

But you have to keep in mind sometimes its possible that one person may need more attention than the other, and there needs to be a way to balance everything so no one gets left out.

To be honest normally fir us its the core relationship of Boo and Me that sacrifice time to make sure everyone gets the time they need.

3. The stigma

Polyamory is not widely socially acceptable. I have had people say to me in the past that I can not love Boo if I have someone else. That its really just fucking around, that im cheatimg and Boo can not be accepting of this behaviour. Its seen in a bad light by many. So in many poly groups its kept secret from their friends and family.

4. Baggage

If you are not in a good point in your core relationship and you are trying poly to try and fix your issues then its not going to work. The core has to be strong for poly to work or you end up with unhappy partners. Also the core is taking on the baggage that comes with most people now over the age of 20 lol. This canput strain on the other relationship specially in the early stages

5. The ugly

Poly will always be used by those that are hidding their lifestyle from their partners as an excuse to screw around. This is not poly this is not open relationship this cheating .

Now the above is just a general observation from myself and my poly journey. Now what I can say is that i have met some wonderful people and experienced alot of life adventures with them. I have learnt alot about myself as well, there has also been heartbreak, tears and alot of stress on the way but I will stand by my poly lifesyle and look forward to all it brings

Feel free to pm.any questions

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"So we've been chatting and have agreed that we would love it to have a bit of an open relationship and thought we would both like to get a girlfriend each, anyone have any advice on how to do this as the more we talk about it the more we want it. "

So if you get a girlfriend and he doesn’t , won’t he be a bit pissed off ? Especially if she doesn’t want to spend time with him , and only wants you ?

It’s one thing to dream / think about these things , quite another to actually do it .

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By *oungnCheeky OP   Couple
over a year ago

East Midlands


"Now I know that not everyone on here either gets/interested/agrees with the Poly life style and i get that and its totally okay as its down to choice in the end.

But what I have found is this lifestyle opens up the experiences and dynamics to people that may start them considering if poly maybe something worth exploring.

We have lived a poly lifestyle for many years and have had both good and bad experiences of poly.

Let’s start off with all the good parts of Polyamory. Now these may not be in all oly relationships but is generally what I have found.

1. Open Communication

For poly to work you must have amazing two way communication skills.

Poly households need to be able to discuss alot of difficult topics. You need to discuss your relationship dynamics, comfort levels and jealousy. You need to discuss your boundaries and your emotions, which is a great exercise of communication. It can really let you open up about your desires and feelings and learn about the needs of your partner or partners.

2. Cheating/affairs

If you’re open to each other, then you get to be intimate with other people without the damage cheating/affairs can have on a couple. Now i am not saying it can not occur as if couples have set boundaries to their poly relationship and these are broken then cheating can occur.

3. Exploring different dynamics and sexuallity.

Being intimate with more than one person can lead to you being able to exlore all sides of you kink dynamics and your sexuality. It also means that you have more than 1 person to share your life eith opening up an enviroment thar allows you to explore more facets of life. You share lives not just sex.

4. Support and personal growth

The more people you have close to you, the more loving support you hace within your life. This can include additional emotional support, physical support and practical support.

There is a Polyamory theory that the more you are loved, the more you are able to accept love, which in turn makes you a better support system for those around you. That can’t be a bad thing can it ?

So now lets look at some of the negatives that come with a pily lifestyle.

1. Jealousy

Now this is one I always struggled with, i have never really felt or understood jealousy and its something I have had to learn to deal with in others.

At one point i was very silly to assume well your poly you should not be jealous. But thats not true I now understand that people can be in a poly relationship and be jealous. Its how they deal with the jealousy that is the key factor.

In order for the relationships to be successful, you need to be comfortable talking about jealousy and finding ways to solve issues. Ifyou dont do that like in any monogamous relationship it can tear the relationship apart and leave a sea of broken hearts.

2. Juggling time.

Life can get really busy, so making sure everyone gets time is a must. And to be honest this is one of the hardest parts of being poly. I always joke that this is easy fir me as I have a Boo, and she is the Poly PA for the house od pest lol.

But you have to keep in mind sometimes its possible that one person may need more attention than the other, and there needs to be a way to balance everything so no one gets left out.

To be honest normally fir us its the core relationship of Boo and Me that sacrifice time to make sure everyone gets the time they need.

3. The stigma

Polyamory is not widely socially acceptable. I have had people say to me in the past that I can not love Boo if I have someone else. That its really just fucking around, that im cheatimg and Boo can not be accepting of this behaviour. Its seen in a bad light by many. So in many poly groups its kept secret from their friends and family.

4. Baggage

If you are not in a good point in your core relationship and you are trying poly to try and fix your issues then its not going to work. The core has to be strong for poly to work or you end up with unhappy partners. Also the core is taking on the baggage that comes with most people now over the age of 20 lol. This canput strain on the other relationship specially in the early stages

5. The ugly

Poly will always be used by those that are hidding their lifestyle from their partners as an excuse to screw around. This is not poly this is not open relationship this cheating .

Now the above is just a general observation from myself and my poly journey. Now what I can say is that i have met some wonderful people and experienced alot of life adventures with them. I have learnt alot about myself as well, there has also been heartbreak, tears and alot of stress on the way but I will stand by my poly lifesyle and look forward to all it brings

Feel free to pm.any questions "

Thank you for sharing, we have a very strong relationship and are very good with communicating with eachother, it's not something we were going to take lightly but it's something we both want to try, something that would give me the chance to experience a fun relationship with a woman and still being with Scott and as I want to experience something a little more I want Scott to also experience more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't get one guy let alone two haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So we've been chatting and have agreed that we would love it to have a bit of an open relationship and thought we would both like to get a girlfriend each, anyone have any advice on how to do this as the more we talk about it the more we want it.

Would the male still support tbis if the female said she wanted a boyfriend to see on her own?"

My partner actively encourages me. Xx

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By *rownboy30Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Sorry, I have no personal input to add to this post, but I came across a poly thread which might be of interest. I think MT posted on this thread too.

https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/839922

Good luck with it all x

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By *evils-couple13Couple
over a year ago

Neath


"Now I know that not everyone on here either gets/interested/agrees with the Poly life style and i get that and its totally okay as its down to choice in the end.

But what I have found is this lifestyle opens up the experiences and dynamics to people that may start them considering if poly maybe something worth exploring.

We have lived a poly lifestyle for many years and have had both good and bad experiences of poly.

Let’s start off with all the good parts of Polyamory. Now these may not be in all oly relationships but is generally what I have found.

1. Open Communication

For poly to work you must have amazing two way communication skills.

Poly households need to be able to discuss alot of difficult topics. You need to discuss your relationship dynamics, comfort levels and jealousy. You need to discuss your boundaries and your emotions, which is a great exercise of communication. It can really let you open up about your desires and feelings and learn about the needs of your partner or partners.

2. Cheating/affairs

If you’re open to each other, then you get to be intimate with other people without the damage cheating/affairs can have on a couple. Now i am not saying it can not occur as if couples have set boundaries to their poly relationship and these are broken then cheating can occur.

3. Exploring different dynamics and sexuallity.

Being intimate with more than one person can lead to you being able to exlore all sides of you kink dynamics and your sexuality. It also means that you have more than 1 person to share your life eith opening up an enviroment thar allows you to explore more facets of life. You share lives not just sex.

4. Support and personal growth

The more people you have close to you, the more loving support you hace within your life. This can include additional emotional support, physical support and practical support.

There is a Polyamory theory that the more you are loved, the more you are able to accept love, which in turn makes you a better support system for those around you. That can’t be a bad thing can it ?

So now lets look at some of the negatives that come with a pily lifestyle.

1. Jealousy

Now this is one I always struggled with, i have never really felt or understood jealousy and its something I have had to learn to deal with in others.

At one point i was very silly to assume well your poly you should not be jealous. But thats not true I now understand that people can be in a poly relationship and be jealous. Its how they deal with the jealousy that is the key factor.

In order for the relationships to be successful, you need to be comfortable talking about jealousy and finding ways to solve issues. Ifyou dont do that like in any monogamous relationship it can tear the relationship apart and leave a sea of broken hearts.

2. Juggling time.

Life can get really busy, so making sure everyone gets time is a must. And to be honest this is one of the hardest parts of being poly. I always joke that this is easy fir me as I have a Boo, and she is the Poly PA for the house od pest lol.

But you have to keep in mind sometimes its possible that one person may need more attention than the other, and there needs to be a way to balance everything so no one gets left out.

To be honest normally fir us its the core relationship of Boo and Me that sacrifice time to make sure everyone gets the time they need.

3. The stigma

Polyamory is not widely socially acceptable. I have had people say to me in the past that I can not love Boo if I have someone else. That its really just fucking around, that im cheatimg and Boo can not be accepting of this behaviour. Its seen in a bad light by many. So in many poly groups its kept secret from their friends and family.

4. Baggage

If you are not in a good point in your core relationship and you are trying poly to try and fix your issues then its not going to work. The core has to be strong for poly to work or you end up with unhappy partners. Also the core is taking on the baggage that comes with most people now over the age of 20 lol. This canput strain on the other relationship specially in the early stages

5. The ugly

Poly will always be used by those that are hidding their lifestyle from their partners as an excuse to screw around. This is not poly this is not open relationship this cheating .

Now the above is just a general observation from myself and my poly journey. Now what I can say is that i have met some wonderful people and experienced alot of life adventures with them. I have learnt alot about myself as well, there has also been heartbreak, tears and alot of stress on the way but I will stand by my poly lifesyle and look forward to all it brings

Feel free to pm.any questions "

We are also poly and I'm(devil-lady= currently in a relationship with a wonderful man. Its hard work because of the distance but it's so so worth it.

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By *oungnCheeky OP   Couple
over a year ago

East Midlands


"Now I know that not everyone on here either gets/interested/agrees with the Poly life style and i get that and its totally okay as its down to choice in the end.

But what I have found is this lifestyle opens up the experiences and dynamics to people that may start them considering if poly maybe something worth exploring.

We have lived a poly lifestyle for many years and have had both good and bad experiences of poly.

Let’s start off with all the good parts of Polyamory. Now these may not be in all oly relationships but is generally what I have found.

1. Open Communication

For poly to work you must have amazing two way communication skills.

Poly households need to be able to discuss alot of difficult topics. You need to discuss your relationship dynamics, comfort levels and jealousy. You need to discuss your boundaries and your emotions, which is a great exercise of communication. It can really let you open up about your desires and feelings and learn about the needs of your partner or partners.

2. Cheating/affairs

If you’re open to each other, then you get to be intimate with other people without the damage cheating/affairs can have on a couple. Now i am not saying it can not occur as if couples have set boundaries to their poly relationship and these are broken then cheating can occur.

3. Exploring different dynamics and sexuallity.

Being intimate with more than one person can lead to you being able to exlore all sides of you kink dynamics and your sexuality. It also means that you have more than 1 person to share your life eith opening up an enviroment thar allows you to explore more facets of life. You share lives not just sex.

4. Support and personal growth

The more people you have close to you, the more loving support you hace within your life. This can include additional emotional support, physical support and practical support.

There is a Polyamory theory that the more you are loved, the more you are able to accept love, which in turn makes you a better support system for those around you. That can’t be a bad thing can it ?

So now lets look at some of the negatives that come with a pily lifestyle.

1. Jealousy

Now this is one I always struggled with, i have never really felt or understood jealousy and its something I have had to learn to deal with in others.

At one point i was very silly to assume well your poly you should not be jealous. But thats not true I now understand that people can be in a poly relationship and be jealous. Its how they deal with the jealousy that is the key factor.

In order for the relationships to be successful, you need to be comfortable talking about jealousy and finding ways to solve issues. Ifyou dont do that like in any monogamous relationship it can tear the relationship apart and leave a sea of broken hearts.

2. Juggling time.

Life can get really busy, so making sure everyone gets time is a must. And to be honest this is one of the hardest parts of being poly. I always joke that this is easy fir me as I have a Boo, and she is the Poly PA for the house od pest lol.

But you have to keep in mind sometimes its possible that one person may need more attention than the other, and there needs to be a way to balance everything so no one gets left out.

To be honest normally fir us its the core relationship of Boo and Me that sacrifice time to make sure everyone gets the time they need.

3. The stigma

Polyamory is not widely socially acceptable. I have had people say to me in the past that I can not love Boo if I have someone else. That its really just fucking around, that im cheatimg and Boo can not be accepting of this behaviour. Its seen in a bad light by many. So in many poly groups its kept secret from their friends and family.

4. Baggage

If you are not in a good point in your core relationship and you are trying poly to try and fix your issues then its not going to work. The core has to be strong for poly to work or you end up with unhappy partners. Also the core is taking on the baggage that comes with most people now over the age of 20 lol. This canput strain on the other relationship specially in the early stages

5. The ugly

Poly will always be used by those that are hidding their lifestyle from their partners as an excuse to screw around. This is not poly this is not open relationship this cheating .

Now the above is just a general observation from myself and my poly journey. Now what I can say is that i have met some wonderful people and experienced alot of life adventures with them. I have learnt alot about myself as well, there has also been heartbreak, tears and alot of stress on the way but I will stand by my poly lifesyle and look forward to all it brings

Feel free to pm.any questions

We are also poly and I'm(devil-lady= currently in a relationship with a wonderful man. Its hard work because of the distance but it's so so worth it. "

Awesome glad to see a little support on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can't get one guy let alone two haha "

Some men have no taste at all if that's the case xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can't get one guy let alone two haha

Some men have no taste at all if that's the case xxx"

Thanks lovelies xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can't get one guy let alone two haha

Some men have no taste at all if that's the case xxx

Thanks lovelies xxx"

Anytime sweetie everyone we have seen you X you have looked stunning xx

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"So we've been chatting and have agreed that we would love it to have a bit of an open relationship and thought we would both like to get a girlfriend each, anyone have any advice on how to do this as the more we talk about it the more we want it.

Would the male still support tbis if the female said she wanted a boyfriend to see on her own?

Lol this is the female and I would really like to have a girlfriend aswell as my Mr

i think the question was.. would your hubby be ok if you wanted a bf instead of a gf...

Not something that we've talked about as it's not a bf I want "

I'm in a Poly relationship. I'd say the above is something you should talk about beforehand as you may right now be more interested in dating other girls but this may not always be the case and you don't want to end up stuck in a "one penis policy" situation where he is allowed to date the opposite sex but you aren't.

Also speaking from experience as a bisexual woman, I've had a lot more luck dating other men than I have other women. Lesbians often aren't interested in women with a male partner and myself and my other bisexual female friends have a theory about why bisexual women don't often date each other and it's that men are often the "pursuers" in dating and women who date men are often used to being pursued so two bisexual women, even if interested in each other often skirt around the issue and nothing ever comes of it. Dating women is often more complicated and I've found the dating game with women to be a lot harder than it is with men. Personally I've been in open relationships for the majority of the past 5 years and have only had women as casual play partners. There is only one woman in that time that I dated. However I have dated 3 men in the past year (I've been with my long term partner for 3 years).

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Just looked at your profile.... You should probably try dipping you toes into meeting first to see if you like it first as you may not find it's for you.

It can get complicated.

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