FabSwingers.com forum: would it put you off meeting...

By *drenaline rush OP Man
over a year ago

Burnley

I've been on this site for a number of years, seen the good and the bad of this site, and the time has come for me to ask you guys for some honest opinions on something that has happened to me recently.

I've wrote and re wrote this a number of times and i apologise if it is long winded.

So the majority of us are here for the same thing, to have fun. So what do we do when life throws a curve ball at you ? we are here because we are naughty and its not that easy to take the naughty bit out of us.

So a little bit of background not long ago i was diagnosed with bowel cancer and as a result I have a temporary/permanent colostomy bag attached to me.

Hopefully with the wonders of modern medicine and the fantastic work of the NHS the bag will only be temporary, but they have always told me to except it could be permanent and see a reversal as a possibility and not guaranteed.

I'm coming to terms with my new little friend, for a few moments each day i almost forget its there.

My question is this and im asking both sexes would you guys arrange to meet someone who has got a colostomy bag ? Or would it put you off ? As humans can we see the person beyond the bag?

Please be as honest as you can. I'm not for one minute going to let a reply in a forum dictate what decision i come to but i would really value your opinions. Like i said earlier you cant just take the naughty out of someone there is no switch to flick to turn that side of us off.

My recover is now going well and i've spent some time back on here chatting to friends and generally having a nosey around as you do. Im not ready to play yet as my chemotherapy starts soon and that's my next challenge to over come in this long journey.

One day i hope in the not to distant future im hoping to be fully recovered. The naughty thoughts will still be there ill be wanting to see old and new friends, but realistically if the bag stays would i be wasting my time?

Ive posted this in a couple of the forums as i want to reach as big an audience as i possibly can.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post

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By *impleSailorMan
over a year ago

the moon

Well firstly here's to wishing you a full and speedy recovery.

Honestly I would say no. It's not a prejudice it's a personal taste.

Would I hold it against someone ( pardon the pun) of course not but I would have concerns about fun time and the bag getting in the way.

Of it were for a social then why not, what difference does it make.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad you're on the mend and I hope chemo goes well for you.

It wouldn't put me off at all. You're still a human being at the end of the day hun xxx

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

It wouldn’t put me off meeting someone I was compatible with. I’m not perfect, far from it.

Wishing you a speedy recovery and as least crap time as you can possibly have while going through chemo.

V x

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By *drenaline rush OP Man
over a year ago

Burnley

thanks for your comments so far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi.. it wouldn't put me off duck

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By *ertnsarahCouple
over a year ago

West Bromwich

Mr is in bed so can't ask him but it wouldn't put me off as long as I knew whatever we were doing wouldn't cause you any pain or discomfort or damage the bag.

Wishing you a full & speedy recovery. Look after yourself xx

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By *drenaline rush OP Man
over a year ago

Burnley

"Mr is in bed so can't ask him but it wouldn't put me off as long as I knew whatever we were doing wouldn't cause you any pain or discomfort or damage the bag.

Wishing you a full & speedy recovery. Look after yourself xx "

Thank you I appreciate everything anyone has said.

As for recovering I’m trying chemo is tough but it wont beet me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fingers crossed for a return to full health.

Good question. I think the honest answer for me would be I would be scared of hurting you or damaging the bag.

I'd need to be lead into ways of having fun without doing that but I don't think it would be a flat no otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got bored after the tenth paragraph sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ex wife had bag and it wasn't an issue for us or her lovers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn't bother me at all and have several friends with bags ... one even plays rugby and another is fine competing her horses all day! So I'm lucky enough to realise they are as robust as the person they are attached to!

Lastly wishing you the best in all your future endeavours and you can beat it!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Got bored after the tenth paragraph sorry

Well if you got that far (there are after all only two further lines after it) you'd have read and understood the situation the OP is in and realised it had taken some guts to post what he did, and that whilst he wasn't expecting sympathy, he certainly wasn't expecting trite dismissive comments either

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

As everyone else has said, I am really sorry to hear of your illness and hope you fully recover.

In answer to your question, I think the harsh truth is that having the bag will effect your chances on here. Fabs is a shallow world where physical attraction counts for a lot. As a single man, you are already up against it and the reality if a single man has something about him considered unattractive, then it's easy for a woman to just move on to the next guy.

Thats not to say no one will meet you. There will be some for whom genuinely it isn't an issue. However, there will also be lots of people who will tell you it isn't a issue when it is, as they don't want to be horrible to someone who is seriously ill.

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