FabSwingers.com forum: saying NO more than once ?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Havent seen this in the forums so thought i would ask a simple enough question to everyone here.

I dont like to put people on the block list but after saying no to meeting more than 2-3 times to people why is it they continue to ask for meets ? I really cant understand it ?

When ive told people they are not what im looking for they turn nasty, If they having been told more than 3 times and i decide to send a nasty message back would my account be suspended for that ? xx Lois xx

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Aaargh this drives me crazy too. I just tell them if they won't take no for an answer on the site then its unlikely they'll take no for an answer when we meet, so I aint meeting!

Don't go to their level or you could end up with a ban. Just report and block.

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area

Why dont you just block them?

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

We get this all the time too and its so annoying

Why do guys get mardys on when you say no thank you anyway and why do they need to ask WHY??

Does my head in but life goes on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Havent seen this in the forums so thought i would ask a simple enough question to everyone here.

I dont like to put people on the block list but after saying no to meeting more than 2-3 times to people why is it they continue to ask for meets ? I really cant understand it ?

If your not interested, just reply with sorry im not interested, and block them.

No horrid come backs and less hassle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Havent seen this in the forums so thought i would ask a simple enough question to everyone here.

I dont like to put people on the block list but after saying no to meeting more than 2-3 times to people why is it they continue to ask for meets ? I really cant understand it ?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

You can see it's from the same person... you can even get a pretty damn good idea what it's about in preview. So just ignore it and delete it... they soon get fed up. The more you reply the more they will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

never quite understood why people send more than 1 message,its not as if repeated messages are going to get a reply the only result is getting blocked,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some men forget they have allready asked you, or think you may change your mind. It doesnt bother me to much if they are friendly and polite, if they are rude, just block them, not worth getting angry with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I only say no once and then thats the end of it

No need to respond to anymore messages and we've never had any abuse from anyone for saying no thanks,most people have been really polite

If we did I would'nt respond with abuse but they would be left in no doubt about what I thought of them and then id block

Its not worth getting yourself reported for the same thing,or getting yourself in a state of stress about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most men on here send out vast numbers of mails and they dont really care about whether you want to meet or not.

Scatter gun approach.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats what the block button is for, if you get repeated requests or unwanted attention, its easier to block them.

Lets be honest most males do not read profiles anyway, some do however, and anyone half decent would take no as an answer anyway.

The other thing to is, some really cannot handle rejection, its best to block and move on I think.

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

"Most men on here send out vast numbers of mails and they dont really care about whether you want to meet or not.

Scatter gun approach."

snd you would know this because - i doubt that you know anymore than 1% of the men on here so why generalise

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"Thats what the block button is for, if you get repeated requests or unwanted attention, its easier to block them.

Lets be honest most males do not read profiles anyway, some do however, and anyone half decent would take no as an answer anyway.

The other thing to is, some really cannot handle rejection, its best to block and move on I think."

If you have said no once and they still ask, pretty likely you will say no again the 2nd time

(granted they may have amended their profile, or their approach)

but 3, stuff that block 'em..

then move on, why get lower yourself to reply if they get arsey..

for some attention seeking, being brave on a keyboard etc thats probably what they want anyway...

block, move on without a minutes thought..

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

I saw one couple on here complaining that they had been blocked after saying no thanks to a couple of of single men

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

blocking and being blocked goes with the territory tbh..

not an earth shattering revelation to realise we are all not compatible with each other..

anyone who would moan about being blocked by someone they had never even met should in our opinion ask themselves if this may be the best media for them to find other like minded folk to have sex with..

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

block them, it is not rude, simply a tool to ensure you are not contacted by ppl you dont want.

As for why it happens, i think there are a few general reasons,

firstly, some men on here think any woman can't mean no, after all she is on a swinging site,and therefore permanently up for it with anyone.

secondly some ppl male and female are so full of themselves they cant believe u would turn them down.

lastly, as someone , some men on here just send the same message repeatedly to everyone in their area.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Generalise ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To paraphrase Jay-Z '99 problems, pushy men on internet aint one'. I honestly cant understand this causing anyone angst. You say no...end off. If you're going to enter into conversation this type of man sees it as a maybe. Dont confuse them. Say no, delete, ignore and get on to chatting with people you're interested in instead of wasting time on those you're not!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most men on here send out vast numbers of mails and they dont really care about whether you want to meet or not.

Scatter gun approach.

snd you would know this because - i doubt that you know anymore than 1% of the men on here so why generalise "

lol

Make a fake profile on here and get 200+ emails in 2 days whilst deleting 100 more.

20+ men sent spam messages with ALL of their info. I know what Im talking about cupcake.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blocking is a very effective way to inform the other person I am not interested in whatever he may have to offer.

Why wind myself up in writing a not so pleasant message when I can just hit the block button?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have blocked some of them but then realised they just set up a new account and begin mailing all over again which sort of defeats the object of blocking them

Confused of Exeter lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have blocked some of them but then realised they just set up a new account and begin mailing all over again which sort of defeats the object of blocking them

Confused of Exeter lol xx"
then baby..delete delete delete and delete again..your gonna be doing that an awful lot anyway, whether they're persistent or not makes no difference.

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"I have blocked some of them but then realised they just set up a new account and begin mailing all over again which sort of defeats the object of blocking them

Confused of Exeter lol xx"

just keep blocking 'em when they show up, and I bet they'll run out of steam (and ideas for usernames) before you do...

The only other tip I can give you is not to glorify them on the forum in future as it gives them the one thing they need to persist in annoying you ... validation through feedback. If they get ignored they soon move on, or give up.

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't imagen it's really annoying if the same guys send message after message it gets on my nerves being tarnished with the same brush as a lot of illmannered blokes on here!!! If I get a no thank you though I do like to get a reason as it seem abit rude just saying your not interested!! As I know my profile is abit basic but that's because I like to chat to people and see of we click lol

But so many spamming bloke that don't meet on this site ruin it for single guys

So lady's plz don't give up on us lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But so many spamming bloke that don't meet on this site ruin it for single guys

So lady's plz don't give up on us lol

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Obviously we cant name and shame, but in the early days of the site Mrs Cherry gave her mobile out to a guy she thought was quite genuine, he turned out to be anything but and quite the liar, which in turn lead to us deciding we didn't want to meet him after all.

He has been texting the Mrs on a regular basis ever since every few weeks without fail, whenever she updates her sms app and it removes the blocks a message from him pops up without fail.

I'm not sure if some people think they can actually harass a shag out of someone but yeah it can border on the psychotic at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Obviously we cant name and shame, but in the early days of the site Mrs Cherry gave her mobile out to a guy she thought was quite genuine, he turned out to be anything but and quite the liar, which in turn lead to us deciding we didn't want to meet him after all.

He has been texting the Mrs on a regular basis ever since every few weeks without fail, whenever she updates her sms app and it removes the blocks a message from him pops up without fail.

I'm not sure if some people think they can actually harass a shag out of someone but yeah it can border on the psychotic at times. "

Report it to your network provider.

Blocks can be requested maybe? I'm not sure but proof of harassment is there as evidence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't imagen it's really annoying if the same guys send message after message it gets on my nerves being tarnished with the same brush as a lot of illmannered blokes on here!!! If I get a no thank you though I do like to get a reason as it seem abit rude just saying your not interested!! As I know my profile is abit basic but that's because I like to chat to people and see of we click lol

But so many spamming bloke that don't meet on this site ruin it for single guys

So lady's plz don't give up on us lol"

Here is an example why you should just ignore and delete those you're not interested in. Without a trace of irony this chap doesn't think 'thanks, but no thanks' is enough. He expects chapter and verse as to why as he thinks it's rude. Just goes to show.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im gay and they still carry on asking me to to meet, some say well my tongue is just as food etc etc .... a polite oh fuckoff dickhead n get a life often offends and a huge fat block! ..... ahhhh x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im gay and they still carry on asking me to to meet, some say well my tongue is just as food etc etc .... a polite oh fuckoff dickhead n get a life often offends and a huge fat block! ..... ahhhh x

"
good* not food

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By *mma peelWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I block unsuitable('fancy a shag', 'hi babe how are u?' & 'wanna see my cock?') guys routinely, once I've replied a no thanks, I'll go back and block them so they don't waste time messaging me on a few weeks time...saves time and effort....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thats what the block button is for, if you get repeated requests or unwanted attention, its easier to block them.

Lets be honest most males do not read profiles anyway, some do however, and anyone half decent would take no as an answer anyway.

The other thing to is, some really cannot handle rejection, its best to block and move on I think."

I wouldn't say most men don't read profiles. A lot don't, but the majority probably do. However those that don't probably copy & paste or send out 3 word emails so they send out about 10 times as many. Which is why the single guys are all ignorant tag exists unfortunately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/01/12 08:01:16]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im gay and they still carry on asking me to to meet, some say well my tongue is just as food etc etc .... a polite oh fuckoff dickhead n get a life often offends and a huge fat block! ..... ahhhh x

good* not food "

Why don't you just tell them you're far too busy, but you have a built like a brick shithouse skinhead male friend who quite likes the look of them and can guarantee a damn good blow if they would be kind enough to forward their details?

If their reply is negative then ask them isn't his mouth not just as good?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know - "if" I get a thanks but no thanks message the user goes up in my estimation - I might even send back a that's OK no Problem response. I do however realise that if you are getting hundreds of messages a day you could waste a lot of time just saying thanks but no thanks so its not a problem to me (although it was an adjustment I had to make in the early days)

As and when I approach people I send a fairly full message, no cut and paste and no fancy a F**k notes - Never worked for me in a bar so can't see why it would here!

I would never send a second message either questioning or abusing someone for the decision they have made - I know when no means no!

Sadly there are guys here who assume that because its a swingers site they are ensured a shag and guys who (i think it was mentioned in an earlier post) are so up themselves they can't believe you may have said no to them!

I'll go get back under my stone now - Thanks for listening

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But so many spamming bloke that don't meet on this site ruin it for single guys

So lady's plz don't give up on us lol"

Perfect example of why it is easier to block and an move on

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

But so many spamming bloke that don't meet on this site ruin it for single guys

So lady's plz don't give up on us lol

Perfect example of why it is easier to block and an move on"

People just don't need to give specific reasons why they don't want to pursue something further with someone. It usually ends up churning up some ill-feeling, and I think some of us guys are good sports and accept a knock-back gracefully, whereas some might not be good loosers, and wail on about it ad-nauseum.

The crux is that having had the 'no', whatever someone does about it - wails on, threats, abuses etc. *wont* change that outcome one bit, and if anything may cause that person to spread a negative image of that person around their base of friends to put them in the know, making that persons chances even less at getting 'their way' over time.

If guys that respond so negatively do so because they feel they are 'loosing face' over something, then they have to get a sense of perspective and realise it's not the end of the world that someone says no, and the whole world won't know that just one person said 'no' to their advances - there's just two people involved. One way for that person to loose face over the entire issue is to create a song and dance about it, which will result in more people knowing about that person's negative reaction to a simple 'no'.

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im gay and they still carry on asking me to to meet, some say well my tongue is just as food etc etc .... a polite oh fuckoff dickhead n get a life often offends and a huge fat block! ..... ahhhh x

good* not food

If their reply is negative then ask them isn't his mouth not just as good?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Havent seen this in the forums so thought i would ask a simple enough question to everyone here.

I dont like to put people on the block list but after saying no to meeting more than 2-3 times to people why is it they continue to ask for meets ? I really cant understand it ?

Ive had it where a guys mailed me, ive said no and hes then mailed me off another profile asking

like im going to say yes cause its a different account lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Havent seen this in the forums so thought i would ask a simple enough question to everyone here.

I dont like to put people on the block list but after saying no to meeting more than 2-3 times to people why is it they continue to ask for meets ? I really cant understand it ?

Block and report, its not rocket science

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