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Funniest thing you've read on a profile?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Discounting all the silly legal notices, threats to sue and warnings to far away university pervs there are so many but one of my recent ones must be 'my tits are as real as they can be for a cross dresser'

That'll be false then will it?

Come on, what have you read that made you laugh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m straight then message me wanting to suck me off

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow


"I’m straight then message me wanting to suck me off "

Hes not gay but his mouth is

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By *VBethTV/TS
over a year ago

Chester

Always tried to include funny bits on my profile, laughter is good.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

Seen a good 1

This site is not match.com. I'm not looking to date, seduce or marry. The only thing I want to know that matches are the curtains and carpet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m straight then message me wanting to suck me off

Hes not gay but his mouth is "

And his ass I bet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I donno iv a shit memory

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“My Ass pussy is looking to get pregnant”

Made me laugh I have to say

Mrsk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"“My Ass pussy is looking to get pregnant”

Made me laugh I have to say

Mrsk "

I have a few questions...

C

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm not sure if it's funny or terrifying, but one that always leaps out at me is "I take care of myself, I know what soap is".

Going above and beyond there

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By *naqMan
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I got a message from a straight guy once who's profile header had "Gay for pay" on it? Asked if he took mastercard and didn't get a reply

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By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

The profiles that say they are genuine and respectful but cheating on their partners always make me smile

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm not sure if it's funny or terrifying, but one that always leaps out at me is "I take care of myself, I know what soap is".

Going above and beyond there "

They probably mean Emmerdale or EastEnders!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no guys smelling of a cats litter tray.

that was one i remember

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By *rettyLittleThingWoman
over a year ago

Swansea

"Discrete meets only"

More irratating than anything but I'm guessing they have partners or something but you're not exactly going to announce it on Facebook are you?

"Won't meet you if you've met the same week you're arranging to meet with me, I don't want sloppy seconds"

There was another person who was just putting themselves down all through the profile, I've ever seen anything like that.

Ive also seen ass pussy person that was a bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m straight then message me wanting to suck me off

Hes not gay but his mouth is "

I love the mouth quote.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember seeing one that said they had two conditions, and went on to list only one.

I did chuckle at that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just today one guy said my Mrs was so nice she “could attract paint off a piece of wood”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ones that list percentages that add up to over 100 %.

Kc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cpls looking for females but have MF and M as choice on their profile.

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Want to give you women babies

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Ooh. "I don't share"

Wrong site, mate?

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By *rettyLittleThingWoman
over a year ago

Swansea


"I’m straight then message me wanting to suck me off "

I see many a profile where the male is down as straight but only meets men or tv/ts

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Love it when they have cannot travel, cannot accommodate. What they on here for then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Love it when they have cannot travel, cannot accommodate. What they on here for then?"

Local to them. As in the same town maybe. Or they can't drive. So if a guy lives far from them and still wants to meet, he'll have to drive to her house, pick her up for simple car fun or hotel.

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By *lutandhubbyCouple
over a year ago

west midlands


"Love it when they have cannot travel, cannot accommodate. What they on here for then?"
maybe on here to just chat to peeps. xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Love it when they have cannot travel, cannot accommodate. What they on here for then? maybe on here to just chat to peeps. xx "

Thought that was what f.ace.b.ook was for?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fill in later

The last 12 months you had time to write a status a day telling people that you were looking forward to "tonite", "mmm that was good #youknowwhoyouare", "hung needed" etc etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Love it when they have cannot travel, cannot accommodate. What they on here for then? maybe on here to just chat to peeps. xx

Thought that was what f.ace.b.ook was for?"

What sex chat? Pic swapping sex pics?? Or cam sex chats?

What kind of Facebook do you have?? lol.

Staying on FAB just to chat, swap pics or use the forums, isn't against site rules. They're free to use fab in their own way all the time they play by this sites rules.

Stop worrying what others do and meet those who do tick your boxes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Love it when they have cannot travel, cannot accommodate. What they on here for then? maybe on here to just chat to peeps. xx

Thought that was what f.ace.b.ook was for?"

You can't post clunge pics and get on the most fabbed there...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/12/18 20:14:26]

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By *bonynivoryCouple
over a year ago

market harborough


"Love it when they have cannot travel, cannot accommodate. What they on here for then? maybe on here to just chat to peeps. xx

Thought that was what f.ace.b.ook was for?

You can't post clunge pics and get on the most fabbed there..."

Clunge

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Love it when they have cannot travel, cannot accommodate. What they on here for then? maybe on here to just chat to peeps. xx

Thought that was what f.ace.b.ook was for?

What sex chat? Pic swapping sex pics?? Or cam sex chats?

What kind of Facebook do you have?? lol.

Staying on FAB just to chat, swap pics or use the forums, isn't against site rules. They're free to use fab in their own way all the time they play by this sites rules.

Stop worrying what others do and meet those who do tick your boxes "

Agree with you on every point. Remember this thread was just a light hearted opportunity to talk about what funny things you see on the site. I think it's funny if they say they can't travel or accommodate x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's funny when I see others writing on their profile or the forums telling others how they should be using FAB.

Don't you just love hypocrisy!?

Then there are others who refuse to have any public photos and write on their profile, it's due to their job

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think it's funny when I see others writing on their profile or the forums telling others how they should be using FAB.

Don't you just love hypocrisy!?

Then there are others who refuse to have any public photos and write on their profile, it's due to their job "

Keep it light x

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Love it when they have cannot travel, cannot accommodate. What they on here for then?"

I won't accommodate. When I said I could travel, I'd get crap about not dropping everything and going a couple of hundred miles on a whim. Local only.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Love it when they have cannot travel, cannot accommodate. What they on here for then?

I won't accommodate. When I said I could travel, I'd get crap about not dropping everything and going a couple of hundred miles on a whim. Local only. "

You don't need to defend yourself, xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"“My Ass pussy is looking to get pregnant”

Made me laugh I have to say

Mrsk

I have a few questions...

C"

I had more than a few questions.....very interesting profile I have to say!

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

There are quite a few witty profiles on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seen a good 1

This site is not match.com. I'm not looking to date, seduce or marry. The only thing I want to know that matches are the curtains and carpet. "

no wonder I had a inbox full of guys asking if I was bi....

But back to the thread.... the funniest thing I’ve read on a profile is smallish/smaller BBW.....

I’m awaiting a black guy with a profile stating he is a smaller BBC....

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"Seen a good 1

This site is not match.com. I'm not looking to date, seduce or marry. The only thing I want to know that matches are the curtains and carpet.

no wonder I had a inbox full of guys asking if I was bi....

But back to the thread.... the funniest thing I’ve read on a profile is smallish/smaller BBW.....

I’m awaiting a black guy with a profile stating he is a smaller BBC...."

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