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club complaints

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Just reading on the club section a verfication of ok of my favourite and local club. The lady had a man keep trying it even tho being told no a number of times. When her hubby went to the loo the single male tried to touch her. They werent happy.

I love the club and feel extreemly safe there and know if there is any problems that make me feel unsafe I know the owners would sort it out.

That single male could visit any club but unless someone complains to the owners there they cant do anything about it.

Sorry they had a problem but not happy that they didnt speak to staff. That may could revisit that club or any other club in the country.

Can people not blame the club but the individual and allow the club to do something about it

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

i do think it is dat to moan in a review if you didnt speak to the staff...however are you sure they didn't?

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

dat=daft

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs


"Just reading on the club section a verfication of ok of my favourite and local club. The lady had a man keep trying it even tho being told no a number of times. When her hubby went to the loo the single male tried to touch her. They werent happy.

I love the club and feel extreemly safe there and know if there is any problems that make me feel unsafe I know the owners would sort it out.

That single male could visit any club but unless someone complains to the owners there they cant do anything about it.

Sorry they had a problem but not happy that they didnt speak to staff. That may could revisit that club or any other club in the country.

Can people not blame the club but the individual and allow the club to do something about it"

Not sure what you're looking for?

Are you wanting all the clubs to have some form of list of unsavoury characters because trust me it would have to include everyone and be broken down to singles. This would then suggest some form of photo ID otherwise how would they be recognised?

And if the clubs don't do anything doesn't that suggest poor/bad management?

Any complaint would have to of been witnessed, you can't just sling someone out on the basis of heresay. Yes the management could/should speak to all the individuals concerned if only to understand all sides, miscommunication can happen.

Not making excuses for poor behaviour but that's why you can't name and shame.

From what you say about the club it sounds like a pretty rare experience so who really knows the full story other than those involved?

I have seen a very negative comment about a club I attend and can't see how the individual came to that conclusion especially as I was there that evening!

May not even attended just a muck raker!

Open forums allow these kind of comments.

No national database for swinging club offenders at present! lol

Sorry don't mean to be flippant but that seems to be what you are asking for.

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I messaged the couple and they said they had hastles with the man all eve. Its seems the owner saw some of what happened but the couple didnt speak with him direct. I guess from the owners point of view it is hard to know the situation unless you see the whole package and watch the partiular person all eve. Seems he only saw a snippet of the problem. Owners cant do much unless its very clear the person is being a massive problem or the people actually complain

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I wasnt asking for anything like that.

Just a simple comment that unless members speak directly to the owners then any problems cant be sorted onced they have spoken with anyone.

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By *rs-buffWoman
over a year ago

somewhere in east Anglia

_ruit i will get the owner to message them personally ,im sure that the owners were not told of the incident because it would have been delt with instantly x

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

You read my mind. I have been messaging the couple direct about and they said they wished they had spoken with the owner. They said he went from being annoying to horrible and crude very quick they were surprised hence why not mentioning them. I was going to text the owner myself too but ok if your going to. The couple said they have visited many times and have been happy. Hopefully if it happens again they will complain to the owners of whatever club they are at x

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By *rs-buffWoman
over a year ago

somewhere in east Anglia

i will hun im off tonight so will get it sorted and im sure something will be sorted for the couple xx

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

What caring members we are lol x

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By *rs-buffWoman
over a year ago

somewhere in east Anglia

its cus we love the place

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs


"I messaged the couple and they said they had hastles with the man all eve. Its seems the owner saw some of what happened but the couple didnt speak with him direct. I guess from the owners point of view it is hard to know the situation unless you see the whole package and watch the partiular person all eve. Seems he only saw a snippet of the problem. Owners cant do much unless its very clear the person is being a massive problem or the people actually complain"

If the owner witnessed some of what happened it should have been dealt with there and then! No excuses!

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

If the owner saw someone putting a hand on a ladies thigh or whatever, unless the owner sees the lady then push the mans hand away and then maybe again he wont know the lady hasnt said he can touch her thigh. I have been in a club on a bed and have a persons hand tough my leg to show thwey are interested in play in maybe swapping couples currently playing with or joining in making it group. If the owners saw that they wouldnt know to do anything unless they see me push the mans hand away a number of times and hear me making a verbal no thanks clear.

Unless the owners see and hear a full picture they wont know when to step in.

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

When it comes to it communication is important. Physical and verbal. If you hear someone shouting then its pretty obvious. If you see a lady getting physical attention you dont know til you watch more if it is wanted or unwanted.

The couple in question said that they wished they had spoken with the owner.

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By *LBishCouple
over a year ago

near bury st edmunds

I have put a post on the review page. sililar to whats been said on here. No need to add anything to this thread as agree with everything thats been said already.

Dont think anything will put me off this club its the dogs bollocks lol.

But ppl really should tell the staff or owners about such behavour as none of us would want someone like that back ,.

Muwahhh xxxx

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By *LBishCouple
over a year ago

near bury st edmunds


"

If the owner witnessed some of what happened it should have been dealt with there and then! No excuses! "

How is the owner supposed to know exactly what is going on. Unless he has watched the smae people all night, then he won't. The owners of that club always look after single ladies, makeing sure they are safe. But couples should be able to stand up for themsleves and make a complaint if there is a problem. unless he knows the couple very well, he doesn't know what sort of play they are into, or whats been said or agreed.

The club cannot be blamed for what happened. The person to blame is the guy for being out of ourder, and the couple for not telling the owners staright away. he would have been out on his ear in a flash.

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By *lubPartyPeepsCouple
over a year ago

London

We aren't aware which your commenting on, so perhaps its best to make this neutral observation without knowing it.

Much of this comes down to good hosting on the part of those working on the night. Part of that job is always to be aware of what is going on, who is new on the night (singles or otherwise) who isn't. Who you know well, who you don't and have a certain sense about where, when and who might be likely to cause problems on the night.

Now, we are not saying that owners / hosts should be superhuman or expect to be in every place at once all night, nor can they always be aware of what is going on all the time.

HOWEVER - Good hosts will be on the look out for things like, people being continually pestered throughout the night by unwelcome individuals, especially in communal areas of the club (A dark room might be a little tougher to keep tabs on)

You cannot always expect a couple to turn round and complain, sorry, that's too easy. Couples can't always simply be expected to stand up for themselves, they could be newbies in a club and extremely nervous, potentially considering having sex with strangers for the first time in their lives, believe it or not this is a really big deal for some people! They are not in restaurant ordering a pizza.

For one thing, as I am sure we all know, it can take a good long while for people to pluck up the courage to go to a club for their first visit, and how that first visit goes is crucial. Secondly once a situation like this has arisen and you feel you have to make a complaint to the owners, if your new to the venue, firstly you're not sure how they are going to react or even if they will deal with the problem properly (And believe us when we say some clubs simply don't give a toss) secondly once you have to make that complaint it is likely to ruin the mood of your evening in any case.

We know a whole plethora of people who went to one club and never went again because of an incident similar to or like this.

A good club, and I am not saying this club is not a good one, will have its finger on the pulse of what is going on, even on a busy night, and will look after its customers without being intrusive. Now, we would also agree this isn't a balance that's always easy to achieve and the club may not always be at fault and may well deserve a second look.

But we do make the point, even if its not the outcome in this particular case, that a great many people are lost or won on to the scene on the basis of how their first club visit has gone, we know this to be true, because we have heard so many stories from so many people about such experiences.

So a good club always needs to be acutely aware of its customers behaviour, good, bad or indifferent on any given night.

In this Clubs defence there may have been various reasons why the owner didn't see or wasn't aware of what was happening in the example listed above and you are never going to be able to please all of the people all of the time but it does sound like this problem could have been addressed if it was so evident.

Either way, its a shame the people concerned had a bad night, but it does sound like the club concerned, is concerned that they didn't, and its good to try and do its best to address this - that to us is an example of good management of a venue. If your at fault, its better to hold up your hands and say 'Sorry, now how can we make that up to you..' than 'Oh well, its only one couple, f@@k em' because that couple could potentially loose you ten others, or 100 others if they post a review about it.

Those that address such issues will do better business than those that don't, it is that simple.

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs


"

If the owner witnessed some of what happened it should have been dealt with there and then! No excuses!

How is the owner supposed to know exactly what is going on. Unless he has watched the smae people all night, then he won't. The owners of that club always look after single ladies, makeing sure they are safe. But couples should be able to stand up for themsleves and make a complaint if there is a problem. unless he knows the couple very well, he doesn't know what sort of play they are into, or whats been said or agreed.

The club cannot be blamed for what happened. The person to blame is the guy for being out of ourder, and the couple for not telling the owners staright away. he would have been out on his ear in a flash."

Perhaps if you read all of the posts you will read the owner

"I messaged the couple and they said they had hastles with the man all eve. Its seems the owner saw some of what happened but the couple didnt speak to him"

So you see the owner did witness!

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs


"We aren't aware which your commenting on, so perhaps its best to make this neutral observation without knowing it.

Much of this comes down to good hosting on the part of those working on the night. Part of that job is always to be aware of what is going on, who is new on the night (singles or otherwise) who isn't. Who you know well, who you don't and have a certain sense about where, when and who might be likely to cause problems on the night.

Now, we are not saying that owners / hosts should be superhuman or expect to be in every place at once all night, nor can they always be aware of what is going on all the time.

HOWEVER - Good hosts will be on the look out for things like, people being continually pestered throughout the night by unwelcome individuals, especially in communal areas of the club (A dark room might be a little tougher to keep tabs on)

You cannot always expect a couple to turn round and complain, sorry, that's too easy. Couples can't always simply be expected to stand up for themselves, they could be newbies in a club and extremely nervous, potentially considering having sex with strangers for the first time in their lives, believe it or not this is a really big deal for some people! They are not in restaurant ordering a pizza.

For one thing, as I am sure we all know, it can take a good long while for people to pluck up the courage to go to a club for their first visit, and how that first visit goes is crucial. Secondly once a situation like this has arisen and you feel you have to make a complaint to the owners, if your new to the venue, firstly you're not sure how they are going to react or even if they will deal with the problem properly (And believe us when we say some clubs simply don't give a toss) secondly once you have to make that complaint it is likely to ruin the mood of your evening in any case.

We know a whole plethora of people who went to one club and never went again because of an incident similar to or like this.

A good club, and I am not saying this club is not a good one, will have its finger on the pulse of what is going on, even on a busy night, and will look after its customers without being intrusive. Now, we would also agree this isn't a balance that's always easy to achieve and the club may not always be at fault and may well deserve a second look.

But we do make the point, even if its not the outcome in this particular case, that a great many people are lost or won on to the scene on the basis of how their first club visit has gone, we know this to be true, because we have heard so many stories from so many people about such experiences.

So a good club always needs to be acutely aware of its customers behaviour, good, bad or indifferent on any given night.

In this Clubs defence there may have been various reasons why the owner didn't see or wasn't aware of what was happening in the example listed above and you are never going to be able to please all of the people all of the time but it does sound like this problem could have been addressed if it was so evident.

Either way, its a shame the people concerned had a bad night, but it does sound like the club concerned, is concerned that they didn't, and its good to try and do its best to address this - that to us is an example of good management of a venue. If your at fault, its better to hold up your hands and say 'Sorry, now how can we make that up to you..' than 'Oh well, its only one couple, f@@k em' because that couple could potentially loose you ten others, or 100 others if they post a review about it.

Those that address such issues will do better business than those that don't, it is that simple. "

The owner did see and the couple weren't newbies....so they must know they should have said something straight away as it happened and as was witnessed by the owners or at the very least before they left and to my mind if it was so serious they should have said straight away and not carry on playing which I presume they did, it tends to send out the wrong signal of just how serious the alleged incident was....

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

John, I need to clarify this as not sure you have taken it the wrong way,.......

Perhaps if you read all of the posts you will read the owner

"I messaged the couple and they said they had hastles with the man all eve. Its seems the owner saw some of what happened but the couple didnt speak to him"

So you see the owner did witness!

I mailed the couple after reading the comment. So when it says I messaged the couple I mean me. I (_ruit) messaged the couple not as in the owner messaging the couple.

I have read all the post too as I wrote many of the comments in reply.

The couples had attened the club a number of times as they had said to me that they had a great time each time before. People do need to complain if someone becomes verbally agressive or physical of course. Because the owner may not be close by to witness if there is a problem. There are many people in a club and staff cannot be everywhere especially at the time you may need them.

I beleive when I am at a club I am safe. I know this as I know that is how clubs want me to feel for me to come back. If a person is not suited to being in a club then then it needs to be investigated as they dont want the same man coming back that could be inclined to take a step to far if told no thanks. It happens in all clubs at some time I guess.

John casn I ask if you were in a club with a lady and your lady was getting unwanted touched even after maybe you both saying no thanks, would you not complain to the staff if they hadnt seen all of what happened? I am sure you would want your lady to feel protected by you and the staff.

The lady who posted earlier on in the thread said she would contact the couple in question about the incident so am sure all will come out in the wash as the only people who actually know what happened is those there at the time. My only knowledge is the communication via private mail between me and the couple asking if they were ok and suggesting it may have been a good idea to tell the staff so it could be looked at. The couple did say they wished they had spoken to staff afterall.

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Just re read part of Johns comment and used the word so serious.

Trying to touch up a lady that had made it clear is not on and being verbally abusive is serious yes. I guess the outcome is that as it wasnt dealt with on the night unfortunately there is a chance that man will continue to visit clubs. I am pretty sure the club owners will contact the couple knowing them.

But we all do have a responsibility to keep ouselves safe and report unsuitable behaviour to club owners. There are more attending the club than staff. So we have more eyes and ears.

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By *lubPartyPeepsCouple
over a year ago

London

Hearing that the couple have been to venue several times before, makes us very surprised that they didn't say something to the owner, as it sounds as if they were regulars and the person hassling them wasn't.

We do still think both parties should have acted here, the club and the couple, but we would agree that them having not spoken to the owner about their issue so they don't have a chance to address it, and then moaning on a forum about it, when they have been to the club several times before and obviously enjoyed themselves, is a little off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

after nearly 10 years of going clubs, weve only had one mishap, when kaz was attacked in a club by a single male, this was reported to the owners who duely barred kaz from the club next day by email cos she was distraught by what happened, our worry is now the owners are running a different club, we just hope it never happens to anyone else!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh n clubpartpeps talk sense xxxx

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By *lubPartyPeepsCouple
over a year ago

London

Thanks Kaz,

going to take a wild guess that this might have been at the old Atlantis, not the new one.

Can't wait to go to the new one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

partypeeps were not here to name n shame, but 1 mishap in nearly 10 years in the uk n europe cant be bad! mwah hope u ok guys anyway, hope to catch up with u soon!

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs


"John, I need to clarify this as not sure you have taken it the wrong way,.......

Perhaps if you read all of the posts you will read the owner

"I messaged the couple and they said they had hastles with the man all eve. Its seems the owner saw some of what happened but the couple didnt speak to him"

So you see the owner did witness!

I mailed the couple after reading the comment. So when it says I messaged the couple I mean me. I (_ruit) messaged the couple not as in the owner messaging the couple.

I have read all the post too as I wrote many of the comments in reply.

The couples had attened the club a number of times as they had said to me that they had a great time each time before. People do need to complain if someone becomes verbally agressive or physical of course. Because the owner may not be close by to witness if there is a problem. There are many people in a club and staff cannot be everywhere especially at the time you may need them.

I beleive when I am at a club I am safe. I know this as I know that is how clubs want me to feel for me to come back. If a person is not suited to being in a club then then it needs to be investigated as they dont want the same man coming back that could be inclined to take a step to far if told no thanks. It happens in all clubs at some time I guess.

John casn I ask if you were in a club with a lady and your lady was getting unwanted touched even after maybe you both saying no thanks, would you not complain to the staff if they hadnt seen all of what happened? I am sure you would want your lady to feel protected by you and the staff.

The lady who posted earlier on in the thread said she would contact the couple in question about the incident so am sure all will come out in the wash as the only people who actually know what happened is those there at the time. My only knowledge is the communication via private mail between me and the couple asking if they were ok and suggesting it may have been a good idea to tell the staff so it could be looked at. The couple did say they wished they had spoken to staff afterall."

Not sure what you're asking me, if someone didn't take no for an answer I'd expect the management to be informed on the night as it happened; especially if witnessed even if only in small part by the owners to take action, I wouldn't expect to air it on a forum where to be fair we only read one side. I wouldn't continue to play until the alleged offender was spoken to and if necessary removed from the club.

I wouldn't leave my partner on her own in an area where she may be alone with this person.

As experienced club goers let alone responsible people I cant comprehend why they didnt deal with it straight away? But as I suggested maybe continuing to play was more important?

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By *ruit OP   Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Apologies if I wasnt clear John. I was asking if you went to a club with a lady and a man was pushing his luck too far touching when tild bo by both you and your partner would you tell the staff?

It seems through speaking brief with the couple the single man went too far when the male half of the couple popped to the toilet. Sometimes even if your with a partner I guess nature calls especially if its a long journey home.

The reasons I started the thread was purely to educate people or encourage probably is the more suitable word to speak with staff if someone is causing a problem. It wasnt to bitch or moan about the couple in any form as I dont.know them from Adam.

As a single lady attanding a club alone.often I would like to know that hopefully any trouble makers not listening to the word no thanks will hopefully not be attending when I am next there.

Yea I guess without the couple posting.on here and the single man the precise details and the club owner too that we only know basic details.

But the moral is still the same. If you have a problem with someone not listening to no thanks and going too far then staff need to be told to protect other people in the club that eve and in the future.

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