FabSwingers.com forum: Single guys having a moan

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Now i have met some great single guys,but i always get morons having a moan because i did not reply back. It means i'm not interested so do me and everyone else a favour and bugger off.

Rant over feel better now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just delete and ignore!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

just block them... it really is that easy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I usually get into an argument with them, will just ignore in future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yep delete or block then you can look for what you want

Still cant get use to you having the same name as me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad you feel better for having a moan hun. Would have prefered it to be a sexual moan of pleasure but hey ho there ya go.

If its rant season on here then pls may I be allowed to put my two pence worth in? Ok cool my rant is as follows. Dont ya just hate flaky feckin pastry on pies and pasties whilst trying to eat on the go in the car grrrrrrrrrrr feckin crumbs every were or what. And also whats the crack with fray bentos pies then lol looks feckin massive in oven until you put a fork in to then devour only to find it deflates after hot air escapes grrrrrrrrrrrr hahaha

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Ignore and block. Much easier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if the guy is trying to give you cheek then just add then straight to your block list that way no need to listen to them again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A Counterpoint, if I may....

If a chap has taken the time to write a decent email (not just the "Fancy a Shag" missive) and has obviously taken some time and effort over it, would you say that he warrants a reply - even if it is a polite no-thanks - or just to ignore it as you would the one-liners?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/01/12 17:58:25]

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"A Counterpoint, if I may....

They could write a 5000 word essay... if they haven't read my profile and it looks like a cut n paste job it is still just as likely to be binned as the next one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A Counterpoint, if I may....

No one owes anyone a reply, my mails get deleted all the time. But i don't go having a hissy fit at them. I just move on, its good they showed me they are an idiot. NEXT.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A Counterpoint, if I may....

No one owes anyone a reply, my mails get deleted all the time. But i don't go having a hissy fit at them. I just move on, its good they showed me they are an idiot. NEXT."

Sorry, but if someone took the time to write a good decent email I would have the manners to reply to it, even if it were a 'no thanks'.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Sorry, but if someone took the time to write a good decent email I would have the manners to reply to it, even if it were a 'no thanks'.

Sorry, but the site FAQs state that 'no reply = no' so sorry. Replies not mandatory.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Please someone explain this theory that the more words you fit into a message the more you are entitled to a reply?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A Counterpoint, if I may....

I dont think it should always merit a reply, at the end of teh day women get a hell of alot more mails than guys so you gota be realistic, id imagine that many women on here could make a 9-5 job out of replying to peoples mails

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"A Counterpoint, if I may....

No one owes anyone a reply, my mails get deleted all the time. But i don't go having a hissy fit at them. I just move on, its good they showed me they are an idiot. NEXT.

Sorry, but if someone took the time to write a good decent email I would have the manners to reply to it, even if it were a 'no thanks'.

we tend to reply if we receive a message as referred to, its only polite tbh..

one liners and clearly those who have not read the profile we usually delete..

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Please someone explain this theory that the more words you fit into a message the more you are entitled to a reply?"

But he thought about the message for minutes. MINUTES!!

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"A Counterpoint, if I may....

I did a polite thanks but no thanks the other night, just to be asked 'Why Not'

I answered because you obviously haven't read my profile, he then I did, but if you don't ask you don't get!

Sometimes you can't do anything right for doing wrong!

So guys, that is why most of us females would rather just ignore....

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Ideally I would like a reply every time, even if "no thanks" but that's unrealistic

But I also prefer that my email be deleted, if there is going to be no reply, rather than just 'Been read' which always leaves me wondering if they intend to reply later when they have more time. At least I know that there is no chance with them.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Hello. I hope you don't mind me introducing myself, I'm polo. I have been on the site a little while now and have noticed your profile once or twice on the forum. I had a read of your profile today and I'm glad that I did. You seem a really nice person. Hopefully, if you have the time, you'll have a look at my profile and may be we can chat about the things we have in common, even if you decide not to take it any further. Whatever happens I hope you have a great time on fabs. Regards polo x

Took more than a second to type - tick

More than one line - tick

Polite - tick

Surely it ticks all the boxes doesn't it?

For me it doesn't. Anyone of you could cut and paste it, put your name where it says 'polo' and send it to a 1000 different profiles.

It may well be a polite.... but it's just a generic pile of bollox really isn't it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never said anyone was entitled to a reply, nor did I equate length of message with necessitating a response.

So often I see these threads slamming single guys, threads slamming anyone and everyone for not reading profiles, threads about how everyone hates one-liners and so on and so on.

What happens to those messages written by people who read the profile, spell check their email, compose a paragraph or so based around the profile they have read and introduce themselves in a polite and sensible fashion?

All I was making the point of was it was good manners to reply to those sorts of emails instead of ignoring them as (even if its a no) it shows that someone acknowledged the effort that went into it.

So often posts on these forums are telling the single guys to put the effort in, not to get disheartened etc,etc. Replying to those who make a damn good effort is actually feeding and nourishing that sentiment - encouraging those people to carry on trying, not to get bitter or disheartened and is re-enforcing the positive actions of the good folk on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A Counterpoint, if I may....

No one owes anyone a reply, my mails get deleted all the time. But i don't go having a hissy fit at them. I just move on, its good they showed me they are an idiot. NEXT.

Sorry, but if someone took the time to write a good decent email I would have the manners to reply to it, even if it were a 'no thanks'.

And when sending these "no thanks" you get a message back asking why or other things how much time would you want to spend on the further messages.

If people just left alone it after sending no thanks i'm sure more people would take the time to say "no thanks"

Other people say they would rather not have an inbox full of rejections

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never said anyone was entitled to a reply, nor did I equate length of message with necessitating a response.

So often I see these threads slamming single guys, threads slamming anyone and everyone for not reading profiles, threads about how everyone hates one-liners and so on and so on.

All I was making the point of was it was good manners to reply to those sorts of emails instead of ignoring them as (even if its a no) it shows that someone acknowledged the effort that went into it.

where people have made an effort to have a good/complete profile of info about them with clear pics (of both if a couple), and they made a decent mail, we would always reply to them.

If their profile is not containing the above, and the mail is a one liner or something.. we wouldn't reply.

That goes for anyone.. single fems, couples, guys (although blocked by filters).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ideally I would like a reply every time, even if "no thanks" but that's unrealistic

Now if you was female I would believe that 100% but im sorry m8 and no offence meant but as a single bloke I dont buy for one min that you are inundated and have so much mail to get through that you just dont have time to reply lol sorry but no offence meant to you in any way shape or form but if thats your genuine answer then all I can say is what a crock of shite lol if I even get mail from a single fem without first making contact with them before hand not only would I reply I would fuckin frame it along with the rocking horse shit I slipped in whilst almost capturing Lord bastard Lucan hahaha

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

I'm constantly baffled by people who want a "no thanks". What's the point? If someone doesn't reply, they're not interested. How does getting no thanks help in any way? Is it an ego thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A Counterpoint, if I may....

I look at the profile first. If they are the antithesis to what I'm looking for I delete without reading...I say as much on my profile...not my problem if they can't read.

If they meet what I'm looking for but I don't wish to meet them, I always send a message regardless.

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

I'm not inundated, I wish I was.

I meant when I send out an email, I'd rather it was either replied to

or the person I sent it to deletes it...

At least I would then know.

And as a single bloke, I always reply to emails, even if its with a "no thanks" but I'd probably give a reason too. (normally that I don't want to meet other single males. But it's nice to be asked)

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"Please someone explain this theory that the more words you fit into a message the more you are entitled to a reply?"

we dont look at it that way..

Vol 1 of 'War and Peace' would be a 'warning bell' as much as 'May i show you how to lick her c**t' (which we have had ffs!)is likely to get a no thank you..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Please someone explain this theory that the more words you fit into a message the more you are entitled to a reply?

we dont look at it that way..

Vol 1 of 'War and Peace' would be a 'warning bell' as much as 'May i show you how to lick her c**t' (which we have had ffs!)is likely to get a no thank you..

Every little helps

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm constantly baffled by people who want a "no thanks". What's the point? If someone doesn't reply, they're not interested. How does getting no thanks help in any way? Is it an ego thing?"

I totally agree with you 100%, they must have problems with rejection.

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By *arkstaffsMan
over a year ago

Rugeley

A reply to a message may not be mandatory but it is good manners. Having said that, I'd rather not have had some of the replies I've had....

Be friendly people.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"Please someone explain this theory that the more words you fit into a message the more you are entitled to a reply?

we dont look at it that way..

Vol 1 of 'War and Peace' would be a 'warning bell' as much as 'May i show you how to lick her c**t' (which we have had ffs!)is likely to get a no thank you..

Every little helps

Lol true, should have met the guy and sat back while he got on with it..

then said bye..

then again he was still a 'teenager' so no way..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never said anyone was entitled to a reply, nor did I equate length of message with necessitating a response.

So often I see these threads slamming single guys, threads slamming anyone and everyone for not reading profiles, threads about how everyone hates one-liners and so on and so on.

All I was making the point of was it was good manners to reply to those sorts of emails instead of ignoring them as (even if its a no) it shows that someone acknowledged the effort that went into it.

Well put!! this was actually the thing that would most frustrate me when I first got here! I'd spend time reading the WHOLE profile then tailor an articulate and individual message to that profile, and yeah, not even to get the thanks but no thanks (and all too often off profiles that said'no one liners) kinda smacks of hypocrisy

BUT

.....when I then thought id ask ladies/cpls that id chat to how many messages they receive and some would say literally hundreds and hundreds you can start to see why one might not a reply!

Rather than writing the war and peace epic I now keep it to a novello, and if nothing comes back then hey ho....onwards and upwards!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I am a well mannered woman, i don't reply to people im not interested in. Had to many abusive messages back. But couples and single woman can be just as bad to make it fair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm constantly baffled by people who want a "no thanks". What's the point? If someone doesn't reply, they're not interested. How does getting no thanks help in any way? Is it an ego thing?"

I can just see it now....

"OMG!!! I've got an envelope... I've got a reply.... wow wee woo wah.... I'm in, I'm gonna get me a meet ...HAPPY DAYS"

*opens mail eagerly*

"Thanks, but no thanks"

Great!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Please someone explain this theory that the more words you fit into a message the more you are entitled to a reply?

we dont look at it that way..

Vol 1 of 'War and Peace' would be a 'warning bell' as much as 'May i show you how to lick her c**t' (which we have had ffs!)is likely to get a no thank you..

Every little helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don't think that just because we are all on a swinging site that common courtesy and manners should go out the window....but thats just me!

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

9 times out of 10 I will reply even if im not interested and they have read my profile or at least read a bit of it I will reply thanks but no thanks, but maybe I dont get 100's of messages like other fems do because I like to use the filters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ideally I would like a reply every time, even if "no thanks" but that's unrealistic

Bit harsh there mate. For one just because he s a single guy doesn't mean he necessarily doesn't get mail from ladies without making contact first. I certainly do, I get messages every day from ladies and couples, some I've met before some not. And there are other single guys on here that do too. Thankfully its a managable amount, not the thousand odd a single fem receives every day or two.

But my main point is that you misunderstood what he was saying. He said that when he sends messages to ladies, if they weren't interested then he'd prefer them to delete his mail rather than just leaving it as "been read" then he'd know where he stands.

A perfectly valid opinion I think.

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

"I meant when I send out an email, I'd rather it was either replied to or the person I sent it to deletes it..."

if its been read and not deleted, what ya gonna do sit there waiting,

I don't look at my sent items , what's the point its out of my control what happens next,

my best advice Concentrate on your inbox not your outbox,... been read , unread, deleted, all the same...

now mail to read in your inbox ,, you get to choose read delete reply,

In this instance I prefer to receive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love the way whenever people talk about single lads on here it's like we are worst people in the world, it seems that some couples on here want single lads to write a novel on how interesting they are and why they are better than every one else and make there message different but then say, I just won't reply if I'm not interested, that's why some lads send one liners. And if couples who genuinely don't want meet single lads why not block them, it's easier for every one

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Good point.

I'll try to adopt that attitude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1, Most people moan! But the people having the most fun moan less.

2, Your ideal meet could message you on a bad day and you delete them. After all, you are a moody cow!

Seriously, you don't have to reply but relax. You might be carrying that negative energy on to the next mail you read.

3, Some profiles read like job applications. I wouldn't be surprised if these people regularly get "cut and paste" emails! Sometimes I think we forget to have fun.

4, Mix it up! If this is a regular thing, change your approach. Couldn't hurt (see 1).

Hope you've calmed down from your rant!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree that it is annoying/disappointing when you don't get a reply, but you do have to consider the total tonnage of messages some people get. A female friend of mine on here put an ad in for a meet. Within a couple of hours she got over 50 messages. If she had taken the time to reply to each one, there would have been no time to play!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well they moan about cut and paste cos it's so easy to do so try cutting and pasting "no thanks" I'm not wrests about getting replied to if there not interested I just hate the single man bashing that goes on, if the truth be told most couples profiles on here are bullshit, single lads are probably the most honest, I.e I'm single and I want to meet girls and couples no bullshit there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A topic moaning about moaning, is this irony?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/01/12 22:45:23]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well they moan about cut and paste cos it's so easy to do so try cutting and pasting "no thanks" "

now there's a thought...

Won't take off though! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm constantly baffled by people who want a "no thanks". What's the point? If someone doesn't reply, they're not interested. How does getting no thanks help in any way? Is it an ego thing?"

No idea but I do respond to those who claim to have read my profile and are several hours drive like the guy who messaged me this morning, it says my preference with regards to this so I tell them that they haven't read it and why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" A reply to a message may not be mandatory but it is good manners. Having said that, I'd rather not have had some of the replies I've had....

Be friendly people."

See now even when I respond to someone who claims to have read my profile but clearly hasn't, I am never rude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no reply doesn't mean "no" it just shows you have no manners!takes a few moments to reply,even if it is a "no thanks"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

put on your profile like i do sorry i cant mail back to all ....... but thanks for mail .

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

"no reply doesn't mean "no" it just shows you have no manners!takes a few moments to reply,even if it is a "no thanks""

But some women/couples get 100s of messages a day, so they'd have to spend hours doing "no thanks" replies.

It's not bad manners to not reply - sending a message isn't a gift or a favour!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello. I hope you don't mind me introducing myself, I'm polo. I have been on the site a little while now and have noticed your profile once or twice on the forum. I had a read of your profile today and I'm glad that I did. You seem a really nice person. Hopefully, if you have the time, you'll have a look at my profile and may be we can chat about the things we have in common, even if you decide not to take it any further. Whatever happens I hope you have a great time on fabs. Regards polo x

Took more than a second to type - tick

More than one line - tick

Polite - tick

Surely it ticks all the boxes doesn't it?

For me it doesn't. Anyone of you could cut and paste it, put your name where it says 'polo' and send it to a 1000 different profiles.

It may well be a polite.... but it's just a generic pile of bollox really isn't it."
yep

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/01/12 00:21:44]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you can't be bothered replying to responses to what is in reality an advert,don't advertise!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trouble with replying 'no thanks' is that even if you get the inevitable 'why not ?' message back and they end up getting blocked they can still message you in the future cus you replied to the first message

Much easier to just delete and not reply

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/01/12 00:51:26]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/01/12 00:52:18]

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By *YLINDERCouple
over a year ago

CARDIFF

i always try to reply to messages its not easy get soooo many xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Trouble with replying 'no thanks' is that even if you get the inevitable 'why not ?' message back and they end up getting blocked they can still message you in the future cus you replied to the first message

Much easier to just delete and not reply

Damn pc keeps playing up lol, i just delete and not reply now. Have put on my profile only email if interested now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just think u shud send a short message quick introduction with some pictures, then whoever gets the message if they like you they can't start a chat to find out more sorted, if you don't hear back hard luck! But some couples except so much in the first message, and if your honest the first thing you check are the pics and if you don't like the pics it doesn't matter how good the message is you haven't got a look in, so that's why I don't think there's need for massive messages to start with, im on one today!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A Counterpoint, if I may....

Does he still warrant a reply if he has blatantly ignores your profile

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I just think u shud send a short message quick introduction with some pictures, then whoever gets the message if they like you they can't start a chat to find out more sorted, if you don't hear back hard luck! But some couples except so much in the first message, and if your honest the first thing you check are the pics and if you don't like the pics it doesn't matter how good the message is you haven't got a look in, so that's why I don't think there's need for massive messages to start with, im on one today!"

I totally agree that size isn't important.

The vast majority of first messages which spark my interest are short.... some are one line.

When people refer to one-liners it tends to be the "fancy a shag" and "hey nice pics when you free?" one-liner.

If a short message is something funny, clever, witty and about my profile... it will grab my attention.

What someone says in their first message says a lot about them. In just a few words you can give a very strong indication of confidence, humour and a chilled relaxed attitude... just as some portray being dull, unimaginative and not really bothered just chancing their luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Took more than a second to type - tick

More than one line - tick

Polite - tick

Surely it ticks all the boxes doesn't it?

For me it doesn't. Anyone of you could cut and paste it, put your name where it says 'polo' and send it to a 1000 different profiles.

It may well be a polite.... but it's just a generic pile of bollox really isn't it. yep

Not just a pile of bollox, but reading more than one of these would do nowt except make me nod off. Its the most generic boring pile of shite I could imagine.

It doesn't even state what they are like, what they like about you, etc.

To top it all off it could be sent to anyone, male, female, even my pet cat for ffs. Total drivel, and if I sent this to anyone I think only a complete and utter masochist would reply...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/01/12 12:18:50]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you can't be bothered replying to responses to what is in reality an advert,don't advertise!"

Don't advertise???

....I'll pass on that advice ta.

We've had some lovely people that have responded to our 'advertisement' who we've responded to and met/plan to meet.

We've also had some 'chancers' not even bother reading our 'advertisement' (yes, we can tell they haven't read our profile!) and respond purely on pics or whatever. Delete & block is our response back... if they can't be arsed, nor can we

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

O dear if you are getting arsey about people not responding to your cut and pasted oppps i mean thoughtfully wrote message i suggest you are probably in the wrong place as no one owes anyone anything if they dont like you tough, they probably have another 20+ messages before and after your message

If you are getting no replies only one person to blame and im my own opinion its not the 50 people you have mailed that havent responded

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"O dear if you are getting arsey about people not responding to your cut and pasted oppps i mean thoughtfully wrote message i suggest you are probably in the wrong place as no one owes anyone anything if they dont like you tough, they probably have another 20+ messages before and after your message

If you are getting no replies only one person to blame and im my own opinion its not the 50 people you have mailed that havent responded

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now i have met some great single guys,but i always get morons having a moan because i did not reply back. It means i'm not interested so do me and everyone else a favour and bugger off.

Rant over feel better now

i simply apologise and arrange to meet them ..they obviously think we are so desperate you cannot reason with them i laugh when they message back calling me a timewaster. was there own time they were wasting not mine lol. It does stop them from continually pestering you in the future though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life is too short to argue, and guys... if they have not responded then lets move on and enjoy.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always try and answer my messages, BUT only the ones who have read my profile PROPERLY! I still get losers sending me arsy messages for not answering them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not the people who cut and paste that are getting arse it's the lads that take time to read profile and send back a decent message, some people don't mind not getting answered and some people do, it's the same with couples some try really hard to reply and some know they have single men on tap so they know they don't have to bother, that's all it is no ones getting arsey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the end of the day if people chose not to reply then that is their choice if the sender gets disheartened that isn't the other persons problem. If people don't reply they have their reasons and should not be made to feel that their reasons need to told. I've given up responding to people we aren't interested in coz we always get questioned as to why then they always try to persuade us otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are getting no replies only one person to blame and im my own opinion its not the 50 people you have mailed that havent responded

Lol love it

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