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"A Counterpoint, if I may.... If a chap has taken the time to write a decent email (not just the "Fancy a Shag" missive) and has obviously taken some time and effort over it, would you say that he warrants a reply - even if it is a polite no-thanks - or just to ignore it as you would the one-liners?" They could write a 5000 word essay... if they haven't read my profile and it looks like a cut n paste job it is still just as likely to be binned as the next one. | |||
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"A Counterpoint, if I may.... If a chap has taken the time to write a decent email (not just the "Fancy a Shag" missive) and has obviously taken some time and effort over it, would you say that he warrants a reply - even if it is a polite no-thanks - or just to ignore it as you would the one-liners?" No one owes anyone a reply, my mails get deleted all the time. But i don't go having a hissy fit at them. I just move on, its good they showed me they are an idiot. NEXT. | |||
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"A Counterpoint, if I may.... If a chap has taken the time to write a decent email (not just the "Fancy a Shag" missive) and has obviously taken some time and effort over it, would you say that he warrants a reply - even if it is a polite no-thanks - or just to ignore it as you would the one-liners? No one owes anyone a reply, my mails get deleted all the time. But i don't go having a hissy fit at them. I just move on, its good they showed me they are an idiot. NEXT." Sorry, but if someone took the time to write a good decent email I would have the manners to reply to it, even if it were a 'no thanks'. | |||
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"Sorry, but if someone took the time to write a good decent email I would have the manners to reply to it, even if it were a 'no thanks'. " Sorry, but the site FAQs state that 'no reply = no' so sorry. Replies not mandatory. | |||
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"A Counterpoint, if I may.... If a chap has taken the time to write a decent email (not just the "Fancy a Shag" missive) and has obviously taken some time and effort over it, would you say that he warrants a reply - even if it is a polite no-thanks - or just to ignore it as you would the one-liners?" I dont think it should always merit a reply, at the end of teh day women get a hell of alot more mails than guys so you gota be realistic, id imagine that many women on here could make a 9-5 job out of replying to peoples mails | |||
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"A Counterpoint, if I may.... If a chap has taken the time to write a decent email (not just the "Fancy a Shag" missive) and has obviously taken some time and effort over it, would you say that he warrants a reply - even if it is a polite no-thanks - or just to ignore it as you would the one-liners? No one owes anyone a reply, my mails get deleted all the time. But i don't go having a hissy fit at them. I just move on, its good they showed me they are an idiot. NEXT. Sorry, but if someone took the time to write a good decent email I would have the manners to reply to it, even if it were a 'no thanks'. " we tend to reply if we receive a message as referred to, its only polite tbh.. one liners and clearly those who have not read the profile we usually delete.. | |||
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"Please someone explain this theory that the more words you fit into a message the more you are entitled to a reply?" But he thought about the message for minutes. MINUTES!! | |||
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"A Counterpoint, if I may.... If a chap has taken the time to write a decent email (not just the "Fancy a Shag" missive) and has obviously taken some time and effort over it, would you say that he warrants a reply - even if it is a polite no-thanks - or just to ignore it as you would the one-liners?" I did a polite thanks but no thanks the other night, just to be asked 'Why Not' I answered because you obviously haven't read my profile, he then I did, but if you don't ask you don't get! Sometimes you can't do anything right for doing wrong! So guys, that is why most of us females would rather just ignore.... | |||
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"A Counterpoint, if I may.... If a chap has taken the time to write a decent email (not just the "Fancy a Shag" missive) and has obviously taken some time and effort over it, would you say that he warrants a reply - even if it is a polite no-thanks - or just to ignore it as you would the one-liners? No one owes anyone a reply, my mails get deleted all the time. But i don't go having a hissy fit at them. I just move on, its good they showed me they are an idiot. NEXT. Sorry, but if someone took the time to write a good decent email I would have the manners to reply to it, even if it were a 'no thanks'. " And when sending these "no thanks" you get a message back asking why or other things how much time would you want to spend on the further messages. If people just left alone it after sending no thanks i'm sure more people would take the time to say "no thanks" Other people say they would rather not have an inbox full of rejections | |||
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"I never said anyone was entitled to a reply, nor did I equate length of message with necessitating a response. So often I see these threads slamming single guys, threads slamming anyone and everyone for not reading profiles, threads about how everyone hates one-liners and so on and so on. What happens to those messages written by people who read the profile, spell check their email, compose a paragraph or so based around the profile they have read and introduce themselves in a polite and sensible fashion? All I was making the point of was it was good manners to reply to those sorts of emails instead of ignoring them as (even if its a no) it shows that someone acknowledged the effort that went into it. So often posts on these forums are telling the single guys to put the effort in, not to get disheartened etc,etc. Replying to those who make a damn good effort is actually feeding and nourishing that sentiment - encouraging those people to carry on trying, not to get bitter or disheartened and is re-enforcing the positive actions of the good folk on here. " where people have made an effort to have a good/complete profile of info about them with clear pics (of both if a couple), and they made a decent mail, we would always reply to them. If their profile is not containing the above, and the mail is a one liner or something.. we wouldn't reply. That goes for anyone.. single fems, couples, guys (although blocked by filters). | |||
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"Ideally I would like a reply every time, even if "no thanks" but that's unrealistic But I also prefer that my email be deleted, if there is going to be no reply, rather than just 'Been read' which always leaves me wondering if they intend to reply later when they have more time. At least I know that there is no chance with them." Now if you was female I would believe that 100% but im sorry m8 and no offence meant but as a single bloke I dont buy for one min that you are inundated and have so much mail to get through that you just dont have time to reply lol sorry but no offence meant to you in any way shape or form but if thats your genuine answer then all I can say is what a crock of shite lol if I even get mail from a single fem without first making contact with them before hand not only would I reply I would fuckin frame it along with the rocking horse shit I slipped in whilst almost capturing Lord bastard Lucan hahaha | |||
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"A Counterpoint, if I may.... If a chap has taken the time to write a decent email (not just the "Fancy a Shag" missive) and has obviously taken some time and effort over it, would you say that he warrants a reply - even if it is a polite no-thanks - or just to ignore it as you would the one-liners?" I look at the profile first. If they are the antithesis to what I'm looking for I delete without reading...I say as much on my profile...not my problem if they can't read. If they meet what I'm looking for but I don't wish to meet them, I always send a message regardless. | |||
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"Please someone explain this theory that the more words you fit into a message the more you are entitled to a reply?" we dont look at it that way.. Vol 1 of 'War and Peace' would be a 'warning bell' as much as 'May i show you how to lick her c**t' (which we have had ffs!)is likely to get a no thank you.. | |||
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"Please someone explain this theory that the more words you fit into a message the more you are entitled to a reply? we dont look at it that way.. Vol 1 of 'War and Peace' would be a 'warning bell' as much as 'May i show you how to lick her c**t' (which we have had ffs!)is likely to get a no thank you.. " Every little helps | |||
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"I'm constantly baffled by people who want a "no thanks". What's the point? If someone doesn't reply, they're not interested. How does getting no thanks help in any way? Is it an ego thing?" I totally agree with you 100%, they must have problems with rejection. | |||
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"Please someone explain this theory that the more words you fit into a message the more you are entitled to a reply? we dont look at it that way.. Vol 1 of 'War and Peace' would be a 'warning bell' as much as 'May i show you how to lick her c**t' (which we have had ffs!)is likely to get a no thank you.. Every little helps " Lol true, should have met the guy and sat back while he got on with it.. then said bye.. then again he was still a 'teenager' so no way.. | |||
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"I never said anyone was entitled to a reply, nor did I equate length of message with necessitating a response. So often I see these threads slamming single guys, threads slamming anyone and everyone for not reading profiles, threads about how everyone hates one-liners and so on and so on. What happens to those messages written by people who read the profile, spell check their email, compose a paragraph or so based around the profile they have read and introduce themselves in a polite and sensible fashion? All I was making the point of was it was good manners to reply to those sorts of emails instead of ignoring them as (even if its a no) it shows that someone acknowledged the effort that went into it. So often posts on these forums are telling the single guys to put the effort in, not to get disheartened etc,etc. Replying to those who make a damn good effort is actually feeding and nourishing that sentiment - encouraging those people to carry on trying, not to get bitter or disheartened and is re-enforcing the positive actions of the good folk on here. " Well put!! this was actually the thing that would most frustrate me when I first got here! I'd spend time reading the WHOLE profile then tailor an articulate and individual message to that profile, and yeah, not even to get the thanks but no thanks (and all too often off profiles that said'no one liners) kinda smacks of hypocrisy BUT .....when I then thought id ask ladies/cpls that id chat to how many messages they receive and some would say literally hundreds and hundreds you can start to see why one might not a reply! Rather than writing the war and peace epic I now keep it to a novello, and if nothing comes back then hey ho....onwards and upwards!! | |||
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"I'm constantly baffled by people who want a "no thanks". What's the point? If someone doesn't reply, they're not interested. How does getting no thanks help in any way? Is it an ego thing?" I can just see it now.... "OMG!!! I've got an envelope... I've got a reply.... wow wee woo wah.... I'm in, I'm gonna get me a meet ...HAPPY DAYS" *opens mail eagerly* "Thanks, but no thanks" Great! | |||
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"Please someone explain this theory that the more words you fit into a message the more you are entitled to a reply? we dont look at it that way.. Vol 1 of 'War and Peace' would be a 'warning bell' as much as 'May i show you how to lick her c**t' (which we have had ffs!)is likely to get a no thank you.. Every little helps " | |||
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"Ideally I would like a reply every time, even if "no thanks" but that's unrealistic But I also prefer that my email be deleted, if there is going to be no reply, rather than just 'Been read' which always leaves me wondering if they intend to reply later when they have more time. At least I know that there is no chance with them. Now if you was female I would believe that 100% but im sorry m8 and no offence meant but as a single bloke I dont buy for one min that you are inundated and have so much mail to get through that you just dont have time to reply lol sorry but no offence meant to you in any way shape or form but if thats your genuine answer then all I can say is what a crock of shite lol if I even get mail from a single fem without first making contact with them before hand not only would I reply I would fuckin frame it along with the rocking horse shit I slipped in whilst almost capturing Lord bastard Lucan hahaha " Bit harsh there mate. For one just because he s a single guy doesn't mean he necessarily doesn't get mail from ladies without making contact first. I certainly do, I get messages every day from ladies and couples, some I've met before some not. And there are other single guys on here that do too. Thankfully its a managable amount, not the thousand odd a single fem receives every day or two. But my main point is that you misunderstood what he was saying. He said that when he sends messages to ladies, if they weren't interested then he'd prefer them to delete his mail rather than just leaving it as "been read" then he'd know where he stands. A perfectly valid opinion I think. | |||
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"Well they moan about cut and paste cos it's so easy to do so try cutting and pasting "no thanks" " now there's a thought... Won't take off though! lol | |||
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"I'm constantly baffled by people who want a "no thanks". What's the point? If someone doesn't reply, they're not interested. How does getting no thanks help in any way? Is it an ego thing?" No idea but I do respond to those who claim to have read my profile and are several hours drive like the guy who messaged me this morning, it says my preference with regards to this so I tell them that they haven't read it and why | |||
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" A reply to a message may not be mandatory but it is good manners. Having said that, I'd rather not have had some of the replies I've had.... Be friendly people." See now even when I respond to someone who claims to have read my profile but clearly hasn't, I am never rude | |||
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"no reply doesn't mean "no" it just shows you have no manners!takes a few moments to reply,even if it is a "no thanks"" But some women/couples get 100s of messages a day, so they'd have to spend hours doing "no thanks" replies. It's not bad manners to not reply - sending a message isn't a gift or a favour! | |||
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"Hello. I hope you don't mind me introducing myself, I'm polo. I have been on the site a little while now and have noticed your profile once or twice on the forum. I had a read of your profile today and I'm glad that I did. You seem a really nice person. Hopefully, if you have the time, you'll have a look at my profile and may be we can chat about the things we have in common, even if you decide not to take it any further. Whatever happens I hope you have a great time on fabs. Regards polo x Took more than a second to type - tick More than one line - tick Polite - tick Surely it ticks all the boxes doesn't it? For me it doesn't. Anyone of you could cut and paste it, put your name where it says 'polo' and send it to a 1000 different profiles. It may well be a polite.... but it's just a generic pile of bollox really isn't it." yep | |||
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"Trouble with replying 'no thanks' is that even if you get the inevitable 'why not ?' message back and they end up getting blocked they can still message you in the future cus you replied to the first message Much easier to just delete and not reply " Damn pc keeps playing up lol, i just delete and not reply now. Have put on my profile only email if interested now. | |||
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"A Counterpoint, if I may.... If a chap has taken the time to write a decent email (not just the "Fancy a Shag" missive) and has obviously taken some time and effort over it, would you say that he warrants a reply - even if it is a polite no-thanks - or just to ignore it as you would the one-liners?" Does he still warrant a reply if he has blatantly ignores your profile | |||
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"I just think u shud send a short message quick introduction with some pictures, then whoever gets the message if they like you they can't start a chat to find out more sorted, if you don't hear back hard luck! But some couples except so much in the first message, and if your honest the first thing you check are the pics and if you don't like the pics it doesn't matter how good the message is you haven't got a look in, so that's why I don't think there's need for massive messages to start with, im on one today!" I totally agree that size isn't important. The vast majority of first messages which spark my interest are short.... some are one line. When people refer to one-liners it tends to be the "fancy a shag" and "hey nice pics when you free?" one-liner. If a short message is something funny, clever, witty and about my profile... it will grab my attention. What someone says in their first message says a lot about them. In just a few words you can give a very strong indication of confidence, humour and a chilled relaxed attitude... just as some portray being dull, unimaginative and not really bothered just chancing their luck. | |||
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"Hello. I hope you don't mind me introducing myself, I'm polo. I have been on the site a little while now and have noticed your profile once or twice on the forum. I had a read of your profile today and I'm glad that I did. You seem a really nice person. Hopefully, if you have the time, you'll have a look at my profile and may be we can chat about the things we have in common, even if you decide not to take it any further. Whatever happens I hope you have a great time on fabs. Regards polo x Took more than a second to type - tick More than one line - tick Polite - tick Surely it ticks all the boxes doesn't it? For me it doesn't. Anyone of you could cut and paste it, put your name where it says 'polo' and send it to a 1000 different profiles. It may well be a polite.... but it's just a generic pile of bollox really isn't it. yep " Not just a pile of bollox, but reading more than one of these would do nowt except make me nod off. Its the most generic boring pile of shite I could imagine. It doesn't even state what they are like, what they like about you, etc. To top it all off it could be sent to anyone, male, female, even my pet cat for ffs. Total drivel, and if I sent this to anyone I think only a complete and utter masochist would reply... | |||
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"If you can't be bothered replying to responses to what is in reality an advert,don't advertise!" Don't advertise??? ....I'll pass on that advice ta. We've had some lovely people that have responded to our 'advertisement' who we've responded to and met/plan to meet. We've also had some 'chancers' not even bother reading our 'advertisement' (yes, we can tell they haven't read our profile!) and respond purely on pics or whatever. Delete & block is our response back... if they can't be arsed, nor can we | |||
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"O dear if you are getting arsey about people not responding to your cut and pasted oppps i mean thoughtfully wrote message i suggest you are probably in the wrong place as no one owes anyone anything if they dont like you tough, they probably have another 20+ messages before and after your message If you are getting no replies only one person to blame and im my own opinion its not the 50 people you have mailed that havent responded " | |||
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"Now i have met some great single guys,but i always get morons having a moan because i did not reply back. It means i'm not interested so do me and everyone else a favour and bugger off. Rant over feel better now i simply apologise and arrange to meet them ..they obviously think we are so desperate you cannot reason with them i laugh when they message back calling me a timewaster. was there own time they were wasting not mine lol. It does stop them from continually pestering you in the future though. " | |||
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"O dear if you are getting arsey about people not responding to your cut and pasted oppps i mean thoughtfully wrote message i suggest you are probably in the wrong place as no one owes anyone anything if they dont like you tough, they probably have another 20+ messages before and after your message If you are getting no replies only one person to blame and im my own opinion its not the 50 people you have mailed that havent responded " Lol love it | |||
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