FabSwingers.com forum: Cliques

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is there such a thing as Cliques in the forums???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I'm in a clique of one. Me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you think?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No"

Can you say what makes you say that please??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think there are cliques everywhere.... its part n parcel of life.... certain peeps get on better than others.... happen at school....work....etc

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm in a clique of one. Me!

We have noticed LOL

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I'm in a clique of one. Me!

We have noticed LOL"

Cheeky!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i think there are cliques everywhere.... its part n parcel of life.... certain peeps get on better than others.... happen at school....work....etc"

Yeah we are Scottish to but find these forums hard work

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm in a clique of one. Me!

We have noticed LOL

Cheeky!

Thanks

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"No

Can you say what makes you say that please??"

not at all... it is kinda like calling a pub cliquey.. in the fact that you are not going to know everyone, and it takes time to actually know people...

i think what is sometimes missed is that a lot of people on the forums go to socials.. and that because they have met people, there is a different sort of interaction going on.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No

Can you say what makes you say that please??"

I said it because I don't believe that there are any cliques

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you think?"

I think it's more like an awareness threshold. Once the natives get to know you sufficiently from the stuff you post, they'll interact more often and give you some chelp back.

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think there are cliques everywhere.... its part n parcel of life.... certain peeps get on better than others.... happen at school....work....etc

Yeah we are Scottish to but find these forums hard work "

they can be hard work but can be fun too...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

all places can seem a bit like that, i just ignore it and post as i see fit and if people dont like it they dont and if they do they do and if they ignore it then i let it go.. but its the same in EVERY single forum, chat room etc etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, there are.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

"i think there are cliques everywhere.... its part n parcel of life.... certain peeps get on better than others.... happen at school....work....etc

Yeah we are Scottish to but find these forums hard work "

What has you being Scottish have to do with anything???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes but have been ignored all my life

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes, there are. "

Thankyou as its blatantly obvious there is but hey ho every one to there own just wish people would understand other peoples feelings and preferences and most of all opinions.......We rest our case

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think there are cliques everywhere.... its part n parcel of life.... certain peeps get on better than others.... happen at school....work....etc

Yeah we are Scottish to but find these forums hard work

What has you being Scottish have to do with anything???"

agreed being scottish makes no difference.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/01/12 21:48:19]

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By *aulasteCouple
over a year ago

halton.....in a room under the stairs!!!

I wouldnt say there were cliques but alot of people have come across each other at some time so have a rapport, Its no different to clubs you only think there are cliques until you jump in and get to know people, Wallflowers etc dont get noticed until you open your mouth....but i do have to say sometimes on here people post things and get jumped on.....at the the end of the day stand up for yourself and be heard/seen..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/01/12 21:48:14]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others have said some of the peeps who participate in the forum's have met socially and do know each other, other than that some people will like you some will not that is life

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

okay... lets flip the question...

so for those of you who say yes.... what are you going to do about it....

are you going to just sit there and moan, or are you going to get out there and do something about it....

reactive... or proactive...

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there at socials and get to know them?

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there are clubs and get to know them....

its all well and good complaining from a distance if people are not going to make the effort... because like i said, lots do go to socials, do go to clubs and have put names to faces to names behind the screen........

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Yes, there are.

Thankyou as its blatantly obvious there is but hey ho every one to there own just wish people would understand other peoples feelings and preferences and most of all opinions.......We rest our case

I blissfully ignore the disapproving looks I get and plough on. If you're hurt by others being friendly with each other then I am not entirely sure it's their problem.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i think there are cliques everywhere.... its part n parcel of life.... certain peeps get on better than others.... happen at school....work....etc

Yeah we are Scottish to but find these forums hard work

What has you being Scottish have to do with anything???

agreed being scottish makes no difference.....

OK we surrender sorry we asked for help not Attack is that what cliques Mean??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think there are cliques everywhere.... its part n parcel of life.... certain peeps get on better than others.... happen at school....work....etc

Yeah we are Scottish to but find these forums hard work

What has you being Scottish have to do with anything???

agreed being scottish makes no difference.....

OK we surrender sorry we asked for help not Attack is that what cliques Mean??"

no-one attacking u .....we just said being scottish is nowt to do with it....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"okay... lets flip the question...

so for those of you who say yes.... what are you going to do about it....

are you going to just sit there and moan, or are you going to get out there and do something about it....

reactive... or proactive...

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there at socials and get to know them?

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there are clubs and get to know them....

So educated and only a few miles away thankyou FAB

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes, there are.

Thankyou as its blatantly obvious there is but hey ho every one to there own just wish people would understand other peoples feelings and preferences and most of all opinions.......We rest our case

We've not tapped into the club or social circuit yet (mainly lack of time and work/family commitments), so both Dev and I are relative unknowns, but y'know... we're both going to be doing this until retirement age at least, and that's a good few years for us yet, so there's plenty of time for us to get to know others on here. We trespassed on the forums a year ago and set up camp, and we've not been evicted... lol

I wouldn't lose heart just yet, just give things time

Wolf

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By *ouplefunukCouple
over a year ago

North Bristol

"okay... lets flip the question...

so for those of you who say yes.... what are you going to do about it....

are you going to just sit there and moan, or are you going to get out there and do something about it....

reactive... or proactive...

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there at socials and get to know them?

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there are clubs and get to know them....

Ohhhh, lovely advice..... IF people want to become part of the clique. Why should people conform to the clique to be let in? Why can't the clique remove their heads from their own and each others arses and accept new people in?

*Her*

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes, there are.

Thankyou as its blatantly obvious there is but hey ho every one to there own just wish people would understand other peoples feelings and preferences and most of all opinions.......We rest our case

I blissfully ignore the disapproving looks I get and plough on. If you're hurt by others being friendly with each other then I am not entirely sure it's their problem."

Shoe fits and were spring to mind thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes, there are.

Thankyou as its blatantly obvious there is but hey ho every one to there own just wish people would understand other peoples feelings and preferences and most of all opinions.......We rest our case

I wouldn't lose heart just yet, just give things time

Wolf

Thankyou first yet with being nice

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Who is this clique people are on about? Come on, I want names!!

I've been posting here nearly a year and I honestly don't think there is one 'clique. Some people agree on one post then will fight on another. The Midlands lot all know each other so of course they'll get on, and some of the Scottish lot are obviously friendly. But they don't gang up on people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, if there are cliques, I'm not a part of them.

Suits me fine!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"okay... lets flip the question...

so for those of you who say yes.... what are you going to do about it....

are you going to just sit there and moan, or are you going to get out there and do something about it....

reactive... or proactive...

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there at socials and get to know them?

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there are clubs and get to know them....

So educated and only a few miles away thankyou FAB"

So good he repeated himself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when i first joined, i too asked the same question.

some people have been members here for years and relationships and friendships have been formed over a period of years.

so you will get people who interact in any given thread and you will also find people having both agreements and disagreements on different subjects.

it is like a big group of friends and has all the ups and downs that go with that.

new forumites have to a degree find their feet and forge relationships with other members over a period of time.

once i got to that stage i realised that infact it wasn't a clique, rather a group of people with a common interest who come in here to relax, laugh, moan, whinge, talk about things that are troubling them, ask others for advice on swinging matters or life matters in general.

piss taking is rife, but in general is not meant in a nasty way, so it is key not to read comments in an offensive way and react negatively to them.

i have found it better to stay polite as much as is possible (even in disagreement) and treat the other members with the respect they will afford you in return.

don't expect everyone to engage you, don't expect everyone to interact with you and certainly don't expect everyone to agree with you.

i have managed to count some of the people on here as proper friends, whilst others remain acquaintances, but i have a great deal of time for all the forumites, established and new who chip in to make the forums one of the most charming places to hang out that i have ever come across.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"okay... lets flip the question...

so for those of you who say yes.... what are you going to do about it....

are you going to just sit there and moan, or are you going to get out there and do something about it....

reactive... or proactive...

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there at socials and get to know them?

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there are clubs and get to know them....

So educated and only a few miles away thankyou FAB

So good he repeated himself

Almost

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I think No there isn't.but some would assume that by saying no that's an admission there are cliques and we're part of one.

nothing could be further from the truth

(i think that makes sense)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Nicely Put why are so many so vain??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*Her*"

Nicely put ... why should people have to conform to be let in?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who is this clique people are on about? Come on, I want names!!

Me and you clearly need to start out very own FabForum / Isis clique!!

FFS a clique is only called a clique when people see fun happening with other people they haven't got to know yet!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Personally I think No there isn't.but some would assume that by saying no that's an admission there are cliques and we're part of one.

nothing could be further from the truth

(i think that makes sense)

If it makes that much sense then please explain???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"okay... lets flip the question...

so for those of you who say yes.... what are you going to do about it....

are you going to just sit there and moan, or are you going to get out there and do something about it....

reactive... or proactive...

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there at socials and get to know them?

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there are clubs and get to know them....

My response was in answer to a question - not to moan or complain if I feel excluded by them because I dont. I dont give a crap if people respond to my posts or not - if people want to chat in a forum or drop me a mail then Im a socialable fellow

Lets see - Will I go to social meets? I went to one in Arnold and the music from the DJ was so loud you couldnt talk to anyone as you couldnt hear them speak. Thats a crap start to using socials.

As for clubs - no thanks. Went to one in the area and it was a bloody nightmare.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"okay... lets flip the question...

so for those of you who say yes.... what are you going to do about it....

are you going to just sit there and moan, or are you going to get out there and do something about it....

reactive... or proactive...

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there at socials and get to know them?

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there are clubs and get to know them....

So educated and only a few miles away thankyou FAB

So good he repeated himself

Well spotted LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OK we surrender sorry we asked for help not Attack is that what cliques Mean??"

Maybe I missed a reply but didn't notice you had asked for help. I certainly didn't notice anyone attacking you

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Who is this clique people are on about? Come on, I want names!!

Me and you clearly need to start out very own FabForum / Isis clique!!

FFS a clique is only called a clique when people see fun happening with other people they haven't got to know yet!!"

We're far too fabulous to be held back by the others on here. We'll be in a Super Clique!

PS I've had a beer tonight so being silly. Please don't anyone think that a superclique actually exists!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who is this clique people are on about? Come on, I want names!!

Been posting in the forums for a wee while too now ..... only gangs I know go with a bang!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who is this clique people are on about? Come on, I want names!!

Me and you clearly need to start out very own FabForum / Isis clique!!

FFS a clique is only called a clique when people see fun happening with other people they haven't got to know yet!!

We're far too fabulous to be held back by the others on here. We'll be in a Super Clique!

PS I've had a beer tonight so being silly. Please don't anyone think that a superclique actually exists!"

You just like to set off conspiracy theories now!! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cliques...yes! Then also people who just like to post for wind up value!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OK we surrender sorry we asked for help not Attack is that what cliques Mean??

Maybe I missed a reply but didn't notice you had asked for help. I certainly didn't notice anyone attacking you

Opinions onnce more No comment

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Been posting in the forums for a wee while too now ..... only gangs I know go with a bang!

My kinda gang.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Who is this clique people are on about? Come on, I want names!!

Me and you clearly need to start out very own FabForum / Isis clique!!

FFS a clique is only called a clique when people see fun happening with other people they haven't got to know yet!!

We're far too fabulous to be held back by the others on here. We'll be in a Super Clique!

PS I've had a beer tonight so being silly. Please don't anyone think that a superclique actually exists!

You just like to set off conspiracy theories now!! lol

Dammit, and I promised not to say anything!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I think No there isn't.but some would assume that by saying no that's an admission there are cliques and we're part of one.

nothing could be further from the truth

(i think that makes sense)

If it makes that much sense then please explain???"

It wasn't clear then?lol

Some will say there are cliques.

others will say there aren't.

some of those who say there are cliques will assume that those who say there aren't cliques are deceiving themselves.

Fabio was pretty close with the pub analogy

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Niceness breeds niceness

The forums are for everyone and as long as you keep within the rules your point is as valid as anyone elses and you have as much right to post as someone thats been here a long time,new posters are lovely to see and new opinions make a nice change..................but I have to say

Accusing people of attacking when they have asked a simple question can be seen as confrontational and petty

Telling people that they need to get their heads out of their own and each others arses does'nt really endear you to anyone

Ive seen people come in and with one post have a joke and a laugh with everyone from the off

Ive seen people come in and immediately start complaining and moaning about everyone and everything on here,now who would you prefer to respond to and have a bit of banter with?

I prefer the fun and the banter myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So good he repeated himself

Well spotted LOL

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there at SOCIALS and get to know them?

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there at CLUBS and get to know them....

Don't think FAB was repeating himself, just labouring a COUPLE of points

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes.......but its not half as bad as it used to be.

Not too long ago, a thread would only get about half a dozen posts before the same group of people would take it completely off thread by way of ping pong nonsense.

It was akin to having a serious conversation with a group and another group coming along and talking right over the top of you.

In all truth we can't really remember when the cliquey hijacking abated and only realised it had because the O.P started this thread.

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the Op's:

I know there is a perceived clique on here, but speaking from personal experience, just post and be damned, it takes a little time for other forumites to get to know you through your posts, just give it time.

I started posting on here about 18 months ago, and as a result went to a social where I met lots of the so called 'clique', or, as I prefer to term them, 'regulars posters'- many of whom I can now put a face to the name,some of which I am glad to say have become friends!

Either way, try to be a little less negative about it, its not endearing!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cliques...yes! Then also people who just like to post for wind up value!

We think You have explained our plight If your in your in and we most certainly dont fit in LOL as we have opinions that are not liked MMMMMMMMMM how sad never mind we will endeavour to agree with the Infamous click PMSL

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"okay... lets flip the question...

so for those of you who say yes.... what are you going to do about it....

are you going to just sit there and moan, or are you going to get out there and do something about it....

reactive... or proactive...

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there at socials and get to know them?

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there are clubs and get to know them....

*Her*"

and thanks for twisting what i was trying to say......

people from the forums aren't mythical all seeing all knowing people... they are the same as everyone else, they get out to clubs and socials.....just like everyone else.....

so if you think the forums are clique, you can sit there and take it, or do something about it change it....

i don't see what complaining from in essence a distance is going to do to change anything...

better to be on the inside looking out... than to be on the outside looking in!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cliques...yes! Then also people who just like to post for wind up value!

Why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To the Op's:

.... just post and be damned...."

Im so damned - I know Im going to hell, Im just working on getting there First Class

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cliques...yes! Then also people who just like to post for wind up value!

Why "

why what

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the OP

everyone has opinions that aint liked at some point....

u r never going to agree with everyone all of the time same as people are not going to agree with u all of the time....

u r asking a question and getting answers...

simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cliques...yes! Then also people who just like to post for wind up value!

Well thats just bizarre

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Niceness breeds niceness

Accusing people of attacking when they have asked a simple question can be seen as confrontational and petty

Telling people that they need to get their heads out of their own and each others arses does'nt really endear you to anyone

Ive seen people come in and with one post have a joke and a laugh with everyone from the off

Ive seen people come in and immediately start complaining and moaning about everyone and everything on here,now who would you prefer to respond to and have a bit of banter with?

I prefer the fun and the banter myself

Sorry when was it mentioned about arses please??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cliques...yes! Then also people who just like to post for wind up value!

Well thats just bizarre

Sad but true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To the Op's:

.... just post and be damned....

Im so damned - I know Im going to hell, Im just working on getting there First Class

At least it will be hot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"okay... lets flip the question...

so for those of you who say yes.... what are you going to do about it....

are you going to just sit there and moan, or are you going to get out there and do something about it....

reactive... or proactive...

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there at socials and get to know them?

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there are clubs and get to know them....

*Her*

and thanks for twisting what i was trying to say......

people from the forums aren't mythical all seeing all knowing people... they are the same as everyone else, they get out to clubs and socials.....just like everyone else.....

so if you think the forums are clique, you can sit there and take it, or do something about it change it....

i don't see what complaining from in essence a distance is going to do to change anything...

better to be on the inside looking out... than to be on the outside looking in!"

But not everyone likes to go to clubs and socials.. does that make them bad people? Does that mean people won't get to know them because they don't socialise in those circles?

We know lots of people who don't go to socials or clubs.. not everyone wants that..but that doesn't mean they dont want to make the effort to get to know people they just choose to do it in a different way.

Thats not a bad thing.. thats a personal choice ... and it certainly doesn't make them not nice people does it?

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By *4FantasyCouple
over a year ago

Spalding

I just randomly post my opinion or join in, its how you make friends.

My other half doesn't actively go on the forums and doesn't know I post half the time as I am the more active one us on here

Kazx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To the Op's:

.... just post and be damned....

Im so damned - I know Im going to hell, Im just working on getting there First Class

At least it will be hot

Yeah just need to use choice words LOL suerly no one can condemn ?????????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To the Op's:

.... just post and be damned....

Im so damned - I know Im going to hell, Im just working on getting there First Class

At least it will be hot

Yeah just need to use choice words LOL suerly no one can condemn ?????????"

Sorry but I don't understand that comment? What were you trying to say?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"We know lots of people who don't go to socials or clubs.. not everyone wants that..but that doesn't mean they dont want to make the effort to get to know people they just choose to do it in a different way.

Thats not a bad thing.. thats a personal choice ... and it certainly doesn't make them not nice people does it?"

I haven't met 90% of the people on these forums, but it doesn't stop me from butting in when I want to. No, you don't have to go to socials or clubs to post in the forums, but automatically assuming that your opinion doesn't count because some people know each other either in real life or from here is just an odd thing to think.

Post and be damned! What's the worst that can happen?

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

I personally do find it hard sometimes on here, but Im like an annoying child Im gonna keep on and on and on and on and on and..... Well you get my drift.

It takes time on big sites like this to be noticed (for want of a better word) I have spoken to a few forumites in pm and they were totally lovely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To go back to the pub analogy, would you gravitate towards the fun people or the pub quizzers, or the heavy drinkers, the bandit machine players, the smokers?

The forums are like that too, a mix of all walks of life and lifestyles likes and dislikes. We gravitate to those we feel an affinity with.

Before I started to post on the forums I read back pages and then watched and learned, got a 'feel' for people and when I did post I was confident in my postings and happy.

My _iews were accepted by some not accepted by others and ignored by many. I have however made friends and had meets through the forums, whether they liked my opinions and drivel or not.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Not that bothered going to have a Mivvie LOL and reflect on a simple question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This will go round in circles.... and wont be listened too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i've been here for quite a few months and ever since i have seen people come and go. The very firts night there was a heated post about cliques i still have yet to figure out who is in these cliques

Having meet a few people at socials i understand some of the banter, having looked at some very old posts i can see some who've been posting for a long tme now. I've seen harsh post, arguements etc

I saw a comment from someone who moans about cliques who i would have presumed was in this so called clique

I see it more as a community and sometimes you have to have a little bit of a think skin. I would never see things as people conforming i've seen so many differing opinio's over my time here.

excuse my speeling and grammar i know it's bad.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Not that bothered going to have a Mivvie LOL and reflect on a simple question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"all places can seem a bit like that, i just ignore it and post as i see fit and if people dont like it they dont and if they do they do and if they ignore it then i let it go.. but its the same in EVERY single forum, chat room etc etc."

Perfect attitude to adopt

When I first started posting on the forums, I felt a little bit 'ignored' and saw the 'imaginary fog' aka "clique".

It didn't take me too long to work out that the 'regulars' are actually quite funny, straight talking and extremely friendly. I decided to post inane drivel over and over again to give them an idea of my sense of humour lol!!

....at least the buggers tolerate us now

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well done just wish we could reiterate

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

But not everyone likes to go to clubs and socials.. does that make them bad people? Does that mean people won't get to know them because they don't socialise in those circles?

Thats not a bad thing.. thats a personal choice ... and it certainly doesn't make them not nice people does it?"

not at all... however you still have to realise that lots of the "regular" posters will have met each other at socials... and there will have some of interaction, which is why I always look at any forums... or chatroom as well because they get accused of being cliquey as well.... and use the pub analogy because it is as close as i think they you can get

first couple of times you go to a pub you don't expect to be treated like one of the family would you... and then once you get acclimated you find that people will get to know your kinks and foilbles and get to know you better.... and this place is no different....

people who are new are coming into a dynamic where people know each other and they is always going to be difficult...

for example... if i said the word "alfie"... the new people would think eh??? and the old people may well shed a tear.....

its not a bad thing.... but a lot of people in forums go thru the good times and the bad times together.. and have leant of people when they have really needed it...

sometimes a close community is mistaken for a clique....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I saw a comment from someone who moans about cliques who i would have presumed was in this so called clique"

OO oo, who's that then?

Go on just whisper it to me, no one else is around

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats not a bad thing.. thats a personal choice ... and it certainly doesn't make them not nice people does it?

Post and be damned! What's the worst that can happen?"

I think you misunderstood me.. I didn't say that the so called clique didn't think our opinion counted.. i meant why aren't they friendly and nicer to new people who aren't in their clique?

Or shall I say nicer and friendlier to people who they haven't met at socials or clubs. I dont mean to say they will have the same interaction but they could at least be nicer to new people and people they havent met. This isn't just about me or us... Its all over the forums.. new people ask simple questions or advice and get saracastic or nasty comments... then the clique all get behind each other...

I think I've said enough... no one seems to get it.. and it will never change..

Thanks for your opinions anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I saw a comment from someone who moans about cliques who i would have presumed was in this so called clique"

OO oo, who's that then?

Go on just whisper it to me, no one else is around

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well done we are only after the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nicely Put why are so many so vain??"

Vain and cliques two different things.

Have you been excluded?

Anyone who says there isn't a clique on the forums is being disengenuous...of course there is! There are the "in jokes", personal threads etc, but this is a public forum, nothing to prevent anyone joining in.

Personally couldn't give a monkies and leave those in their mutual appreciation society to it.

Don't understand why people get so worked up on this site.

*Shrugs* hey ho.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But not everyone likes to go to clubs and socials.. does that make them bad people? Does that mean people won't get to know them because they don't socialise in those circles?

Thats not a bad thing.. thats a personal choice ... and it certainly doesn't make them not nice people does it?

people who are new are coming into a dynamic where people know each other and they is always going to be difficult...

for example... if i said the word "alfie"... the new people would think eh??? and the old people may well shed a tear.....

its not a bad thing.... but a lot of people in forums go thru the good times and the bad times together.. and have leant of people when they have really needed it...

sometimes a close community is mistaken for a clique.... "

I will only say this and hope it explains your needs we Pay the same as eveyone on here so why are we not allowed to ask or voice our opinions???

FAB

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I saw a comment from someone who moans about cliques who i would have presumed was in this so called clique

OO oo, who's that then?

Go on just whisper it to me, no one else is around

Could be me

I clique about on my own tho x

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Thats not a bad thing.. thats a personal choice ... and it certainly doesn't make them not nice people does it?

Post and be damned! What's the worst that can happen?

I think you misunderstood me.. I didn't say that the so called clique didn't think our opinion counted.. i meant why aren't they friendly and nicer to new people who aren't in their clique?

I think I've said enough... no one seems to get it.. and it will never change..

Thanks for your opinions anyway "

Every forum I've ever posted on has been like that. Maybe I've just built up thick skin because compared to some of the message boards I've belonged to, this lot are pussy cats!

The longer people post on here, the easier it becomes. And if you're not that bothered (general you) then why make a point of complaining? If posting on the forum is important to people, they will do it, whatever anyone else thinks or says.

For a sterling example of someone who couldn't give a shit what anyone else thinks, take a look at bobs_knob and his posts.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I saw a comment from someone who moans about cliques who i would have presumed was in this so called clique

OO oo, who's that then?

Go on just whisper it to me, no one else is around

Lol are you enticing because if so no chance xxx

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"Niceness breeds niceness

Accusing people of attacking when they have asked a simple question can be seen as confrontational and petty

Telling people that they need to get their heads out of their own and each others arses does'nt really endear you to anyone

Ive seen people come in and with one post have a joke and a laugh with everyone from the off

Ive seen people come in and immediately start complaining and moaning about everyone and everything on here,now who would you prefer to respond to and have a bit of banter with?

I prefer the fun and the banter myself

very well said...as one of the only 2 regular bdsm cock sluts i can say i rarely conform to any group think...if i belong to a clique it has two members

Accept that honey goes down better than nettles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I saw a comment from someone who moans about cliques who i would have presumed was in this so called clique

OO oo, who's that then?

Go on just whisper it to me, no one else is around

Lol are you enticing because if so no chance xxx"

Not trying to entice, merely inject a little mild flirtation and humour into proceedings

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Accept that honey goes down better than nettles"

I quite like nettle stings though.

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

I have been accused of being 'cliquey' (not sure if thats a word) in chat, but thats where I spend most of my time and get to know people and have a laugh.

If people say hello or are polite, I will be polite back, if they are rude or nasty I will 9 times out of 10 ignore, the other one time well Im a firey red head

Forums are a good laugh and people know each other or just click (no pun intended) others disagree or block or not speak to others but it is an adult site, so just be yourself and dont fret. As bob whats his face said, its good to talk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For a sterling example of someone who couldn't give a shit what anyone else thinks, take a look at bobs_knob and his posts. "

Think he's changed his user name to 'Sir Bob of Knob' lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I saw a comment from someone who moans about cliques who i would have presumed was in this so called clique

OO oo, who's that then?

Go on just whisper it to me, no one else is around

having just had my first 48 ban no no

hugs

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

It represents life, so...

Yes.

There are a few... One that is central to the forum, people who chat in public.... They try and welcome newbies.. On the whole they do.. But we could do better.

Another is on the periphery of the forum.... They will mail each other privately and complain hardship done by the others...

And so it will go on & on & on.

Just be yourself, chat away and take breaks every so often... Otherwise your head will explode second guessing the subplots.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I saw a comment from someone who moans about cliques who i would have presumed was in this so called clique

OO oo, who's that then?

Go on just whisper it to me, no one else is around

Lol are you enticing because if so no chance xxx"

I doubt it, we have had banter in the forums before, but i guess this is how this can be taken wrongly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will only say this and hope it explains your needs we Pay the same as eveyone on here so why are we not allowed to ask or voice our opinions???

FAB"

The difficulty with the forums is that it is the written word, not a face to face conversation, words can be interpreted or misinterpreted by each individual.

It may not be what a person has to 'say' or opines but how they 'say' it.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"For a sterling example of someone who couldn't give a shit what anyone else thinks, take a look at bobs_knob and his posts.

Think he's changed his user name to 'Sir Bob of Knob' lol

Thanks, I knew he changed his name but couldn't remember what to.

Such a fitting name for him too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

very well said...as one of the only 2 regular bdsm cock sluts i can say i rarely conform to any group think...if i belong to a clique it has two members

Accept that honey goes down better than nettles"

BDSM Cock Sluts - now theres a group I could be an honorary groupie to!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"For a sterling example of someone who couldn't give a shit what anyone else thinks, take a look at bobs_knob and his posts.

Think he's changed his user name to 'Sir Bob of Knob' lol

Arise Sir Bob

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Accept that honey goes down better than nettles

I quite like nettle stings though. "

Nettle Tea anyone?

Spoonfull of honey optional

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For a sterling example of someone who couldn't give a shit what anyone else thinks, take a look at bobs_knob and his posts.

Think he's changed his user name to 'Sir Bob of Knob' lol

Arise Sir Bob

Which Queen gave him a knighthood?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats not a bad thing.. thats a personal choice ... and it certainly doesn't make them not nice people does it?

Post and be damned! What's the worst that can happen?

I think you misunderstood me.. I didn't say that the so called clique didn't think our opinion counted.. i meant why aren't they friendly and nicer to new people who aren't in their clique?

I think I've said enough... no one seems to get it.. and it will never change..

Thanks for your opinions anyway "

I haven't met anyone from the forums, socials and clubs will never be for me but it doesn't stop me posting my opinion on an open forum.

Thing is I respond to comments regardless of who's made it. It's funny as sometimes I get a pm asking if I've fallen out with so and so.

No ones opinion is superior to anyone elses.

Join in...have fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there such a thing as Cliques in the forums???

yeah ive been trying to muscle my way in for years but i keep getting kicked out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont know about cliques, but I think there are a lot of people who spend too much time on here. They seem to *constantly* be on here.

This might make them seem like they're in a clique, possibly? I dunno.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

do you wanna be in my gang, my gang, my gang

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

To the OP question.

Some people know each other or got to know each other on the forums and chat away quite happily yes.

Is that a clique? Only if you feel left out.

If anyone feels left out, all I can suggest is join in more....and to the regulars...maybe suggest answering the newbies so they get to know people too.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"Personally I think No there isn't.but some would assume that by saying no that's an admission there are cliques and we're part of one.

nothing could be further from the truth

(i think that makes sense)

we agree..

though were not quite sure what it means..

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Is there such a thing as Cliques in the forums???

yeah ive been trying to muscle my way in for years but i keep getting kicked out

You can be in MY clique with me and Cherry Blossom. We can paint each others toe nails and braid each others hair and talk about the men on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont know about cliques, but I think there are a lot of people who spend too much time on here. They seem to *constantly* be on here.

This might make them seem like they're in a clique, possibly? I dunno."

I'm constantly on here.

I'm a single parent who doesn't get out much so I'd rather interact with real people through the forums and chatrooms than shout at my telly.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I dont know about cliques, but I think there are a lot of people who spend too much time on here. They seem to *constantly* be on here.

This might make them seem like they're in a clique, possibly? I dunno.

I'm constantly on here.

I'm a single parent who doesn't get out much so I'd rather interact with real people through the forums and chatrooms than shout at my telly.

Me too, although I am afraid I only put up with the forum lot when I don't have a meet or club night planned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its the same on here as in real life, i dont call it a clique its more people feel comfy with those they know

People go on about clubs being cliquie, personally i dont think they are, we just stay in our comfort zone and tend to go over to friends but that does not mean we will not talk to new people, same as on here, you can tell whos friends with who but whos quotes who and some just tend to reply to the same person over, its just a cyber version of a club, does not mean they dont want to talk to anyone else if other joined in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cliques...yes! Then also people who just like to post for wind up value!

I've seen you post over the last week

it the differing opinions that make the furums worth reading

I do know when starting a forum post they don't always go the way you think they will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I decided to post inane drivel over and over again to give them an idea of my sense of humour lol!!

That is actually a big part of the whole forum thing, you have to spend time reading and posting to get the sense of humour of the regulars... and like in life sometimes the same person can be serious sometimes silly.

it's the people who drop in once in a blue moon and complain about lack of replies to messages then don't even bother to answer there own thread!

Enjoy it if you want, stick around and let us get to know you a bit and it all becomes more fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there such a thing as Cliques in the forums???

yeah ive been trying to muscle my way in for years but i keep getting kicked out

You can be in MY clique with me and Cherry Blossom. We can paint each others toe nails and braid each others hair and talk about the men on here.

Can I join please need someone who can paint nails cost a blooming fortune at salon

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Is there such a thing as Cliques in the forums???

yeah ive been trying to muscle my way in for years but i keep getting kicked out

You can be in MY clique with me and Cherry Blossom. We can paint each others toe nails and braid each others hair and talk about the men on here.

Can I join please need someone who can paint nails cost a blooming fortune at salon

Yep, the more the merrier. Bring some plonk with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I think No there isn't.but some would assume that by saying no that's an admission there are cliques and we're part of one.

nothing could be further from the truth

(i think that makes sense)

we agree..

though were not quite sure what it means..

It made perfect sense when i wrote it...i don't even understand it myself now

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

very well said...as one of the only 2 regular bdsm cock sluts i can say i rarely conform to any group think...if i belong to a clique it has two members

Accept that honey goes down better than nettles

BDSM Cock Sluts - now theres a group I could be an honorary groupie to!

our clique now has 3 members

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there such a thing as Cliques in the forums???

yeah ive been trying to muscle my way in for years but i keep getting kicked out

You can be in MY clique with me and Cherry Blossom. We can paint each others toe nails and braid each others hair and talk about the men on here.

Don't forget the poppers.. lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there such a thing as Cliques in the forums???

yeah ive been trying to muscle my way in for years but i keep getting kicked out

You can be in MY clique with me and Cherry Blossom. We can paint each others toe nails and braid each others hair and talk about the men on here.

Can I join please need someone who can paint nails cost a blooming fortune at salon

Feel free to pop over. Was taught to shape, manicure and paint nails some years ago!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the Clique subject is a dangerous one on the forums, i think here are groups of friends who can at times have banter with each other and it sidetracks quite a lot of threads, but thats when the mods can shut off threads that have become dead. Forums are also places where its super easy to misunderstand people and take things the wrong way easily. We took someone the wrong way completely and werent allowed to use the forums for ages and ages, but i bet in person we would have got along like a house on fire.

The Forums are a great way to get intouch with people who are similar to you and miles better than just the search menu, people can really come out their shells here and its also an awesome part of the website that people from all over the UK can have a laugh with each other

Forums, like the chat and all the other parts of fab are here to be enjoyed, dont worry about cliques or anything like that and just have fun using the website

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Is there such a thing as Cliques in the forums???

yeah ive been trying to muscle my way in for years but i keep getting kicked out

You can be in MY clique with me and Cherry Blossom. We can paint each others toe nails and braid each others hair and talk about the men on here.

Don't forget the poppers.. lol

Oooh thread crossover. That's sooooo cliquey you know!

You can bring the chocs and well endowed black man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there such a thing as Cliques in the forums???

yeah ive been trying to muscle my way in for years but i keep getting kicked out

You can be in MY clique with me and Cherry Blossom. We can paint each others toe nails and braid each others hair and talk about the men on here.

Can I join please need someone who can paint nails cost a blooming fortune at salon

She's not allowed- oh wait I mean she's loud

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there such a thing as Cliques in the forums???

yeah ive been trying to muscle my way in for years but i keep getting kicked out

You can be in MY clique with me and Cherry Blossom. We can paint each others toe nails and braid each others hair and talk about the men on here.

Can I join please need someone who can paint nails cost a blooming fortune at salon

Feel free to pop over. Was taught to shape, manicure and paint nails some years ago!

Can you do the whole foot massage bit as well only have to do it hard cos if soft will be a giggling heap on the floor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there such a thing as Cliques in the forums???

yeah ive been trying to muscle my way in for years but i keep getting kicked out

You can be in MY clique with me and Cherry Blossom. We can paint each others toe nails and braid each others hair and talk about the men on here.

Don't forget the poppers.. lol

On the stregth of that previous forum thread I went and tried some poppers. It was a hell of a bang but still havent got the streamers out of my nose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there such a thing as Cliques in the forums???

yeah ive been trying to muscle my way in for years but i keep getting kicked out

You can be in MY clique with me and Cherry Blossom. We can paint each others toe nails and braid each others hair and talk about the men on here.

Can I join please need someone who can paint nails cost a blooming fortune at salon

Feel free to pop over. Was taught to shape, manicure and paint nails some years ago!

Can you do the whole foot massage bit as well only have to do it hard cos if soft will be a giggling heap on the floor

Yes, I can also pedicure too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there such a thing as Cliques in the forums???

yeah ive been trying to muscle my way in for years but i keep getting kicked out

You can be in MY clique with me and Cherry Blossom. We can paint each others toe nails and braid each others hair and talk about the men on here.

Can I join please need someone who can paint nails cost a blooming fortune at salon

Yep, the more the merrier. Bring some plonk with you."

Red White or Rose and any nibbles needed

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Is there such a thing as Cliques in the forums???

yeah ive been trying to muscle my way in for years but i keep getting kicked out

You can be in MY clique with me and Cherry Blossom. We can paint each others toe nails and braid each others hair and talk about the men on here.

Don't forget the poppers.. lol

On the stregth of that previous forum thread I went and tried some poppers. It was a hell of a bang but still havent got the streamers out of my nose.

Silly! You should let them off in your ears.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Red White or Rose and any nibbles needed

One of each and for nibbles, any man who catches your eye.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"No ones opinion is superior to anyone elses.

Join in...have fun.

abso feckin lutely agree..

its a forum on a swinging site, relax dont take it seriously and enjoy it..

thought it was meant to about fun..

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"Personally I think No there isn't.but some would assume that by saying no that's an admission there are cliques and we're part of one.

nothing could be further from the truth

(i think that makes sense)

we agree..

though were not quite sure what it means..

It made perfect sense when i wrote it...i don't even understand it myself now

we got where you were coming from..

its one of those ones that if you read it too many times it gets confusing lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there such a thing as Cliques in the forums???

yeah ive been trying to muscle my way in for years but i keep getting kicked out

You can be in MY clique with me and Cherry Blossom. We can paint each others toe nails and braid each others hair and talk about the men on here.

Don't forget the poppers.. lol

On the stregth of that previous forum thread I went and tried some poppers. It was a hell of a bang but still havent got the streamers out of my nose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"okay... lets flip the question...

so for those of you who say yes.... what are you going to do about it....

are you going to just sit there and moan, or are you going to get out there and do something about it....

reactive... or proactive...

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there at socials and get to know them?

so are you going to start going to meet any of the countless people from the forums out there are clubs and get to know them....

*Her*"

Could always start yer own?

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By *nvyCouple
over a year ago

Waltham Cross

We see a few regulars on these forums a mix of men, women and couples that if we met we would feel quite comfortable around. Do we know these people?? No...but we do like to read what some of them say and I guess in our heads that makes them okay in our book. I guess some people are clique on here but that's not a negative, we enjoy the banter made by some even if we don't post all the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there such a thing as Cliques in the forums???

If there is it doesn't bother me.

My criteria for posting on threads is the content rather than who contributed to/started them (mostly!)

Not too long ago when I first started posting one or two of the regular contributors were rather cheeky/frosty towards me,but dammit I certainly gave as good as I got!In fact I probably went a wee bit over the score with my replies,but I reckon that's because as a newbie I was feeling a bit more on the defensive side than I should have and just let rip instead of turning the other cheek!

Anyway,I just try to be myself on here and do my best to put across my character/nature/personality through my posts.

So most of my posts are of a jokey/slightly cheeky nature though now and again I like to chip in on the more serious threads depending on the subject.I'm pretty sure most folk like me are on here for the sexy banter and the laughs as well as our serious sides coming through now and again on certain subjects.

Now I definitely know I'm not every ones cup of tea on here and I'm fine with that.I just try to get on as best I can and not worry about the things I have no control over.

So basically.....don't sweat the small stuff!I'm here for a good time not a long time (insert your own cliché here) etc.. etc..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just try to get on as best I can and not worry about the things I have no control over."

well put deepnhard x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""I just try to get on as best I can and not worry about the things I have no control over."

well put deepnhard x"

Cheers nice,I'm glad you think so.

It took me bloody ages to type that out!x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes there are cliques in the forums.

Mention this word or start a thread and you'll get hundreds of replies on it. Lots of people feel passionate about something that doesn't exist.

It isn't always a negative thing, groups naturally form in real life and they also form in cyber land.

The best way is to just be yourself. Look at the words spoken rather than respond to the user. Don't suck up to people that you are either in awe of or who you wish to meet. Don't be frightened to respond with your own _iews, even if your _iews are drastically different to your pseudo 'friends' on here.

The thing I dislike the most, and I've had several attempts made to draw me in, is gossip and bad mouthing members by private message. Never hide behind the private message. You wanna talk about someone, grow balls and do it in public without being offensive. And try and keep a lid on negative emotions like jealousy and _nvy.

Above all its only a forum, it has no importance on your real life, all anyone is is a faceless entity behind a keyboard. Its fun and the interaction is great but once you switch off its gone, they don't matter. A forum isn't worth getting worked up about surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ironic, even within this thread where people are claiming there aren't cliques, I can't be the only one to notice a group hijacked it.

It could have killed the thread, I got bored and wandered off, but that's what happens...don't let it put you off, jump in and have fun.

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