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Cat amongst the pigeons

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By *Khotwife99 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Southwark

So from the forums I see a lot of single males complaining about not being messaged back, or not getting meets. From our limited time on here already I’ve put it down to two things.

Firstly, of the literal hundreds of messages we’ve received from single males we’d say that only 5-10% have actually read our profile. So of course you’ll not be messaged back.

And secondly, probably the most important, the entitlement the majority of you seem to have. Yes this is a swinging site, but I’m not obligated to fuck you just because I’m on here.

I’ve received abuse and slurs for not replying to single males, they’re then blocked. I understand you’re not all like it, and will no doubt message to say you’re not like it. But honestly some of you need to really think about how you’re acting.

I know this is long winded but I’d assume we aren’t the only ones dealing with this day in day out?

Daisy x

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"So from the forums I see a lot of single males complaining about not being messaged back, or not getting meets. From our limited time on here already I’ve put it down to two things.

Firstly, of the literal hundreds of messages we’ve received from single males we’d say that only 5-10% have actually read our profile. So of course you’ll not be messaged back.

And secondly, probably the most important, the entitlement the majority of you seem to have. Yes this is a swinging site, but I’m not obligated to fuck you just because I’m on here.

I’ve received abuse and slurs for not replying to single males, they’re then blocked. I understand you’re not all like it, and will no doubt message to say you’re not like it. But honestly some of you need to really think about how you’re acting.

I know this is long winded but I’d assume we aren’t the only ones dealing with this day in day out?

Daisy x

"
Sorry

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"So from the forums I see a lot of single males complaining about not being messaged back, or not getting meets. From our limited time on here already I’ve put it down to two things.

Firstly, of the literal hundreds of messages we’ve received from single males we’d say that only 5-10% have actually read our profile. So of course you’ll not be messaged back.

And secondly, probably the most important, the entitlement the majority of you seem to have. Yes this is a swinging site, but I’m not obligated to fuck you just because I’m on here.

I’ve received abuse and slurs for not replying to single males, they’re then blocked. I understand you’re not all like it, and will no doubt message to say you’re not like it. But honestly some of you need to really think about how you’re acting.

I know this is long winded but I’d assume we aren’t the only ones dealing with this day in day out?

Daisy x

"

Five odd years off site and some things never change.

Tis life online. You either ignore it or let it bother you. I recommend the former.

A

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Just learn to ignore them, leave the message unread as it pisses them off more

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Guys with one line on their profile who think that’s enough to attract women.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"So from the forums I see a lot of single males complaining about not being messaged back, or not getting meets. From our limited time on here already I’ve put it down to two things.

Firstly, of the literal hundreds of messages we’ve received from single males we’d say that only 5-10% have actually read our profile. So of course you’ll not be messaged back.

And secondly, probably the most important, the entitlement the majority of you seem to have. Yes this is a swinging site, but I’m not obligated to fuck you just because I’m on here.

I’ve received abuse and slurs for not replying to single males, they’re then blocked. I understand you’re not all like it, and will no doubt message to say you’re not like it. But honestly some of you need to really think about how you’re acting.

I know this is long winded but I’d assume we aren’t the only ones dealing with this day in day out?

Daisy x

Five odd years off site and some things never change.

Tis life online. You either ignore it or let it bother you. I recommend the former.

A

"

Welcome back, strangers! That was a long break lol

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"Guys with one line on their profile who think that’s enough to attract women. "

Or just saying in a message to you 'I've been told I have a nice cock' WTF? I mean really? Would they try that line out in a bar? F*cking doubt it!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Yeah, that's pretty much par for the course around here.

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By *Khotwife99 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Southwark


"Guys with one line on their profile who think that’s enough to attract women.

Or just saying in a message to you 'I've been told I have a nice cock' WTF? I mean really? Would they try that line out in a bar? F*cking doubt it! "

I had one message to say “ my friend has said hes fucked you before, send me some pics of you and some nudes so I can see if it’s you”

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"So from the forums I see a lot of single males complaining about not being messaged back, or not getting meets. From our limited time on here already I’ve put it down to two things.

Firstly, of the literal hundreds of messages we’ve received from single males we’d say that only 5-10% have actually read our profile. So of course you’ll not be messaged back.

And secondly, probably the most important, the entitlement the majority of you seem to have. Yes this is a swinging site, but I’m not obligated to fuck you just because I’m on here.

I’ve received abuse and slurs for not replying to single males, they’re then blocked. I understand you’re not all like it, and will no doubt message to say you’re not like it. But honestly some of you need to really think about how you’re acting.

I know this is long winded but I’d assume we aren’t the only ones dealing with this day in day out?

Daisy x

Five odd years off site and some things never change.

Tis life online. You either ignore it or let it bother you. I recommend the former.

A

Welcome back, strangers! That was a long break lol "

Thanks!

Got stuck in traffic on the M5 circa 2013. Fortunately had some haribos and vimto to keep us going.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I loved that Bros song

Social skills.

Respect.

There's some stuff you just can't teach.

P x

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"Guys with one line on their profile who think that’s enough to attract women.

Or just saying in a message to you 'I've been told I have a nice cock' WTF? I mean really? Would they try that line out in a bar? F*cking doubt it!

I had one message to say “ my friend has said hes fucked you before, send me some pics of you and some nudes so I can see if it’s you” "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guys with one line on their profile who think that’s enough to attract women.

Or just saying in a message to you 'I've been told I have a nice cock' WTF? I mean really? Would they try that line out in a bar? F*cking doubt it!

I had one message to say “ my friend has said hes fucked you before, send me some pics of you and some nudes so I can see if it’s you” "

haha. Appalling.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"So from the forums I see a lot of single males complaining about not being messaged back, or not getting meets. From our limited time on here already I’ve put it down to two things.

Firstly, of the literal hundreds of messages we’ve received from single males we’d say that only 5-10% have actually read our profile. So of course you’ll not be messaged back.

And secondly, probably the most important, the entitlement the majority of you seem to have. Yes this is a swinging site, but I’m not obligated to fuck you just because I’m on here.

I’ve received abuse and slurs for not replying to single males, they’re then blocked. I understand you’re not all like it, and will no doubt message to say you’re not like it. But honestly some of you need to really think about how you’re acting.

I know this is long winded but I’d assume we aren’t the only ones dealing with this day in day out?

Daisy x

Five odd years off site and some things never change.

Tis life online. You either ignore it or let it bother you. I recommend the former.

A

Welcome back, strangers! That was a long break lol

Thanks!

Got stuck in traffic on the M5 circa 2013. Fortunately had some haribos and vimto to keep us going.

A"

Was it that long ago? No wonder I am bloody aging lol

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol


"So from the forums I see a lot of single males complaining about not being messaged back, or not getting meets. From our limited time on here already I’ve put it down to two things.

Firstly, of the literal hundreds of messages we’ve received from single males we’d say that only 5-10% have actually read our profile. So of course you’ll not be messaged back.

And secondly, probably the most important, the entitlement the majority of you seem to have. Yes this is a swinging site, but I’m not obligated to fuck you just because I’m on here.

I’ve received abuse and slurs for not replying to single males, they’re then blocked. I understand you’re not all like it, and will no doubt message to say you’re not like it. But honestly some of you need to really think about how you’re acting.

I know this is long winded but I’d assume we aren’t the only ones dealing with this day in day out?

Daisy x

"

You know how it is - the people who need to hear this advice will never read it, and if they read it they’d ignore it - if they ever understood it.

Meanwhile, the people who get it don’t need to know it - it’s common sense and courtesy, after all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guys with one line on their profile who think that’s enough to attract women.

Or just saying in a message to you 'I've been told I have a nice cock' WTF? I mean really? Would they try that line out in a bar? F*cking doubt it!

I had one message to say “ my friend has said hes fucked you before, send me some pics of you and some nudes so I can see if it’s you” "

. ..had a guy message to say that his mate from work is bi...so could he come round to fuck me.while his mate played with hubby.. ..

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By *riendly and hornyMan
over a year ago

Crewe

Out of interest, are there many men who message respectively and come across as genuine but turn out to be time wasters?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kinda tarring everyine with the same brush there

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"Guys with one line on their profile who think that’s enough to attract women.

Or just saying in a message to you 'I've been told I have a nice cock' WTF? I mean really? Would they try that line out in a bar? F*cking doubt it!

I had one message to say “ my friend has said hes fucked you before, send me some pics of you and some nudes so I can see if it’s you”

. ..had a guy message to say that his mate from work is bi...so could he come round to fuck me.while his mate played with hubby.. .."
genius

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By *ll That Ass 67Woman
over a year ago

Kettering

To the guy who messaged me earlier saying " I want to eat and fuck your pussy " ..

I reported you , then deleted you ...just sayin....

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"To the guy who messaged me earlier saying " I want to eat and fuck your pussy " ..

I reported you , then deleted you ...just sayin...."
#youknowwhoyouare

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just learn to ignore them, leave the message unread as it pisses them off more "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Out of interest, are there many men who message respectively and come across as genuine but turn out to be time wasters?"

Yes, I’ve come across a few!

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By *Khotwife99 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Southwark


"Kinda tarring everyine with the same brush there "

Great way to prove reading isn’t a strong point. As I clearly put that I understand you’re not all like it

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By *riendly and hornyMan
over a year ago

Crewe

These are the ones that I shake my fist at! (not in that way).

We start off on the back foot as there is so much distrust towards single guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Calibre of messages for a single on here as I’ve a single profile.

1. Can I breed you

2. Are you on your period? As I’ve a period fetish

3. Use me a cum dump

4. Kik me babe

5. Can my wife watch

If every single woman moaned on here as much as men the forums would be that about that.

I occasionally read them out to hubby who is like do they really think your going to message back. Guys on here don’t do themselves any favours. I’ve sadly no sympathy for them.

Kitty xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh let them rant.. then Block ...simples

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Oh but women have it so easy here

Yeah we get meets, but for every meet I've sorted through hundreds of crap messages and dozens of abusive or sickening ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Kinda tarring everyine with the same brush there

Great way to prove reading isn’t a strong point. As I clearly put that I understand you’re not all like it "

True, but there are a lot of generalisations on your post. And tbh most messages I send go undread, and that's after reading profiles and composing appropriate responses with the required pics attached etc etc. Its a lottery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh but women have it so easy here

Yeah we get meets, but for every meet I've sorted through hundreds of crap messages and dozens of abusive or sickening ones. "

Exactly, it’s not really easy to be honest but every so often you get that one message that really does make you smile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Kinda tarring everyine with the same brush there

Great way to prove reading isn’t a strong point. As I clearly put that I understand you’re not all like it

True, but there are a lot of generalisations on your post. And tbh most messages I send go undread, and that's after reading profiles and composing appropriate responses with the required pics attached etc etc. Its a lottery"

But you don’t come on here moaning about it

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Kinda tarring everyine with the same brush there

Great way to prove reading isn’t a strong point. As I clearly put that I understand you’re not all like it

True, but there are a lot of generalisations on your post. And tbh most messages I send go undread, and that's after reading profiles and composing appropriate responses with the required pics attached etc etc. Its a lottery"

Everything said was qualified. Most or the majority. Not all, not always.

No one is entitled to anything around here and women here have things to do (lives!) other than attending to the Fab inbox.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/12/18 22:09:26]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Kinda tarring everyine with the same brush there

Great way to prove reading isn’t a strong point. As I clearly put that I understand you’re not all like it

True, but there are a lot of generalisations on your post. And tbh most messages I send go undread, and that's after reading profiles and composing appropriate responses with the required pics attached etc etc. Its a lottery

Everything said was qualified. Most or the majority. Not all, not always.

No one is entitled to anything around here and women here have things to do (lives!) other than attending to the Fab inbox. "

I don't feel entitled in the slightest

I'm nice to everyone who messages me and never give abuse, never have

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Kinda tarring everyine with the same brush there

Great way to prove reading isn’t a strong point. As I clearly put that I understand you’re not all like it

True, but there are a lot of generalisations on your post. And tbh most messages I send go undread, and that's after reading profiles and composing appropriate responses with the required pics attached etc etc. Its a lottery

But you don’t come on here moaning about it "

That I do not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Kinda tarring everyine with the same brush there

Great way to prove reading isn’t a strong point. As I clearly put that I understand you’re not all like it

True, but there are a lot of generalisations on your post. And tbh most messages I send go undread, and that's after reading profiles and composing appropriate responses with the required pics attached etc etc. Its a lottery

Everything said was qualified. Most or the majority. Not all, not always.

No one is entitled to anything around here and women here have things to do (lives!) other than attending to the Fab inbox.

I don't feel entitled in the slightest

I'm nice to everyone who messages me and never give abuse, never have

"

Sadly there are those that do on here and they really do spoil it for guys like you.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

‘Most’ guys on here have no social skills, they struggle to effectively communicate with women and it clearly shows from their message content....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Kinda tarring everyine with the same brush there

Great way to prove reading isn’t a strong point. As I clearly put that I understand you’re not all like it

True, but there are a lot of generalisations on your post. And tbh most messages I send go undread, and that's after reading profiles and composing appropriate responses with the required pics attached etc etc. Its a lottery

Everything said was qualified. Most or the majority. Not all, not always.

No one is entitled to anything around here and women here have things to do (lives!) other than attending to the Fab inbox.

I don't feel entitled in the slightest

I'm nice to everyone who messages me and never give abuse, never have

Sadly there are those that do on here and they really do spoil it for guys like you. "

Personally I think photo verification should be mandatory.

That could slash the photoless, textless profiles overnight, less fakes and time wasters signing up daily.

Would not eradicate them entirely, but it would help

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Kinda tarring everyine with the same brush there

Great way to prove reading isn’t a strong point. As I clearly put that I understand you’re not all like it

True, but there are a lot of generalisations on your post. And tbh most messages I send go undread, and that's after reading profiles and composing appropriate responses with the required pics attached etc etc. Its a lottery

Everything said was qualified. Most or the majority. Not all, not always.

No one is entitled to anything around here and women here have things to do (lives!) other than attending to the Fab inbox.

I don't feel entitled in the slightest

I'm nice to everyone who messages me and never give abuse, never have

"

But I don't know who's going to abuse me or not, so I protect myself against everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Kinda tarring everyine with the same brush there

Great way to prove reading isn’t a strong point. As I clearly put that I understand you’re not all like it

True, but there are a lot of generalisations on your post. And tbh most messages I send go undread, and that's after reading profiles and composing appropriate responses with the required pics attached etc etc. Its a lottery

Everything said was qualified. Most or the majority. Not all, not always.

No one is entitled to anything around here and women here have things to do (lives!) other than attending to the Fab inbox.

I don't feel entitled in the slightest

I'm nice to everyone who messages me and never give abuse, never have

But I don't know who's going to abuse me or not, so I protect myself against everyone. "

If that works for you then that's the best option.

This perhaps explains why women have blocked me after a nice message or even simply viewing their profiles?

I thought it was just more whittling down the prospects, as in, block everyone you don't like the look of and then it's only the rest and new visitors that's left

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By *riendly and hornyMan
over a year ago

Crewe

I would like a the option of knowing if someone read my message 6 months down the line.

When you click to send someone a message and it turns out you have sent them one before, There's quite a high chance they never read it in the first place as women get so many messages. IMO it's OK to send someone a second message if they never read the first one. Or am I wrong?

Another good feature would be a button which when clicked means "thanks for the message but I'm not interested"

Going off thread here somewhat

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Kinda tarring everyine with the same brush there

Great way to prove reading isn’t a strong point. As I clearly put that I understand you’re not all like it

True, but there are a lot of generalisations on your post. And tbh most messages I send go undread, and that's after reading profiles and composing appropriate responses with the required pics attached etc etc. Its a lottery

Everything said was qualified. Most or the majority. Not all, not always.

No one is entitled to anything around here and women here have things to do (lives!) other than attending to the Fab inbox.

I don't feel entitled in the slightest

I'm nice to everyone who messages me and never give abuse, never have

But I don't know who's going to abuse me or not, so I protect myself against everyone.

If that works for you then that's the best option.

This perhaps explains why women have blocked me after a nice message or even simply viewing their profiles?

I thought it was just more whittling down the prospects, as in, block everyone you don't like the look of and then it's only the rest and new visitors that's left "

Either is plausible. Protect against abuse, stop getting messages from people you won't be interested in, oh shit I know him, etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would like a the option of knowing if someone read my message 6 months down the line.

When you click to send someone a message and it turns out you have sent them one before, There's quite a high chance they never read it in the first place as women get so many messages. IMO it's OK to send someone a second message if they never read the first one. Or am I wrong?

Another good feature would be a button which when clicked means "thanks for the message but I'm not interested"

Going off thread here somewhat "

Those are good points.

The menu on the top right has an option for notes. Like you could leave a note saying, messaged once - ignored.

Or "smells like cat pish" avoid lol

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think a lot of this is way off thread.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Yes it's frustrating but delete and block are your friends.

Having said that, I've been on here around 18 months now. I get around 500 messages on a quiet week, nearer 700 some weeks.

I've only had maybe 10 or less messages that could be classed as arsey when I've said no thanks.

I very rarely use the block button because for whatever reason I don't get the abuse some people seem to.

Not sure how you explain that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think a lot of this is way off thread. "

Which parts?

I thought it was all conducive to making improvements to the quality of communications on fab, which is the original subject?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From a purely selfish point of view, the apparent majority of monosyllabic men displaying a lack of empathy only goes to highlight my sparkling wit and charm.

It does surprise me to hear of my peer's approaches to women and couples, it is frankly quite worrying. However, I guess Fab might attract some people who find social interaction difficult and therefore think that it may be easier here to get laid. Pro tip: It isn't. But it's great fun trying. Right, back to my basement.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I think a lot of this is way off thread.

Which parts?

I thought it was all conducive to making improvements to the quality of communications on fab, which is the original subject? "

The original topic was the way mostly men write to women and couples. Honestly, the benefits of relative popularity notwithstanding, we need more space for "this is exhausting and demoralising sometimes".

Men discussing among themselves how they'd like women to interact with them (appreciating that here it's been quite constructive, which it isn't always) gets done a lot.

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By *ug247Man
over a year ago

Near You

The feedback I get from the replies I do get is. That the biggest issue apart from the big reading the profile is the abuse that they get when saying no. So they then don’t reply which is where those guys who can take a bit of rejection just like you get in the real world miss out. As no people don’t say no they just ignore the message or delete it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do what works for you...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From a purely selfish point of view, the apparent majority of monosyllabic men displaying a lack of empathy only goes to highlight my sparkling wit and charm.

It does surprise me to hear of my peer's approaches to women and couples, it is frankly quite worrying. However, I guess Fab might attract some people who find social interaction difficult and therefore think that it may be easier here to get laid. Pro tip: It isn't. But it's great fun trying. Right, back to my basement. "

It's hard for a sparkling with to be heard over the din of the crowd, however.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Following my too frivolous reply, I would add that any abuse should be reported without hesitation. I have enjoyed this site a lot over the years and the fewer misogynists and psychopaths who use it, the better. I hate to think that anyone receives abuse for simply not replying, or saying no thank you, this is still the real world, it should be no less acceptable here. It makes me sad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think a lot of this is way off thread.

Which parts?

I thought it was all conducive to making improvements to the quality of communications on fab, which is the original subject?

The original topic was the way mostly men write to women and couples. Honestly, the benefits of relative popularity notwithstanding, we need more space for "this is exhausting and demoralising sometimes".

Men discussing among themselves how they'd like women to interact with them (appreciating that here it's been quite constructive, which it isn't always) gets done a lot. "

Well I'm afraid I have to politely disagree, myself and the gentleman above were focussing on ways to prevent women being demoralised and exhausted by implementing vetting procedures.

It is an open forum, and a forum is a place for discussion, I believe we are within the rules here

Feel free to disagree, read, not read, delete or block as applicable

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By *riendly and hornyMan
over a year ago

Crewe

Granted, it is one of many common subjects.

Can't be as common as women complaining about dick pics though.

You're right though, this isn't what the OP was talking about. Soz for diverging.

As you were x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guys with one line on their profile who think that’s enough to attract women.

Or just saying in a message to you 'I've been told I have a nice cock' WTF? I mean really? Would they try that line out in a bar? F*cking doubt it!

I had one message to say “ my friend has said hes fucked you before, send me some pics of you and some nudes so I can see if it’s you” "

That is totally wrong. How dare another guy say you have fucked. What happened to being discreet.... just block them Hun don't let them get to you, their loss not yours

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By *riendly and hornyMan
over a year ago

Crewe

[Removed by poster at 10/12/18 22:45:57]

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I think a lot of this is way off thread.

Which parts?

I thought it was all conducive to making improvements to the quality of communications on fab, which is the original subject?

The original topic was the way mostly men write to women and couples. Honestly, the benefits of relative popularity notwithstanding, we need more space for "this is exhausting and demoralising sometimes".

Men discussing among themselves how they'd like women to interact with them (appreciating that here it's been quite constructive, which it isn't always) gets done a lot.

Well I'm afraid I have to politely disagree, myself and the gentleman above were focussing on ways to prevent women being demoralised and exhausted by implementing vetting procedures.

It is an open forum, and a forum is a place for discussion, I believe we are within the rules here

Feel free to disagree, read, not read, delete or block as applicable "

A no thank you button would get the same issue.

Some people do mind being messaged again, some don't, but you can't tell which. For repeat messages, try a different approach and think about being considerably slower than what might be considered pestering (days minimum).

Private notes are in site supporter features if you have them.

Ultimately what needs to change is the lazy, obnoxious, rude/ threatening/ abusive attitude many guys here have. (and occasionally others) Every real profile represents a real person or couple, all of whom deserve respect. (although respect can unfortunately include "briefly consider but still delete message")

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think a lot of this is way off thread.

Which parts?

I thought it was all conducive to making improvements to the quality of communications on fab, which is the original subject?

The original topic was the way mostly men write to women and couples. Honestly, the benefits of relative popularity notwithstanding, we need more space for "this is exhausting and demoralising sometimes".

Men discussing among themselves how they'd like women to interact with them (appreciating that here it's been quite constructive, which it isn't always) gets done a lot.

Well I'm afraid I have to politely disagree, myself and the gentleman above were focussing on ways to prevent women being demoralised and exhausted by implementing vetting procedures.

It is an open forum, and a forum is a place for discussion, I believe we are within the rules here

Feel free to disagree, read, not read, delete or block as applicable

A no thank you button would get the same issue.

Some people do mind being messaged again, some don't, but you can't tell which. For repeat messages, try a different approach and think about being considerably slower than what might be considered pestering (days minimum).

Private notes are in site supporter features if you have them.

Ultimately what needs to change is the lazy, obnoxious, rude/ threatening/ abusive attitude many guys here have. (and occasionally others) Every real profile represents a real person or couple, all of whom deserve respect. (although respect can unfortunately include "briefly consider but still delete message") "

When dealing with people I think unfortunately those issues will persist. They are people after all

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By *anDare70Man
over a year ago

kirkby

At the end of the day... every first message is essentially spam mail.

If it’s not what you want then it’s just crap wasting your day.

With sex so openly on the agenda then I guess everything,even the more genuine message, is seen as a kicker raid.

Tbh it probably is

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I think a lot of this is way off thread.

Which parts?

I thought it was all conducive to making improvements to the quality of communications on fab, which is the original subject?

The original topic was the way mostly men write to women and couples. Honestly, the benefits of relative popularity notwithstanding, we need more space for "this is exhausting and demoralising sometimes".

Men discussing among themselves how they'd like women to interact with them (appreciating that here it's been quite constructive, which it isn't always) gets done a lot.

Well I'm afraid I have to politely disagree, myself and the gentleman above were focussing on ways to prevent women being demoralised and exhausted by implementing vetting procedures.

It is an open forum, and a forum is a place for discussion, I believe we are within the rules here

Feel free to disagree, read, not read, delete or block as applicable

A no thank you button would get the same issue.

Some people do mind being messaged again, some don't, but you can't tell which. For repeat messages, try a different approach and think about being considerably slower than what might be considered pestering (days minimum).

Private notes are in site supporter features if you have them.

Ultimately what needs to change is the lazy, obnoxious, rude/ threatening/ abusive attitude many guys here have. (and occasionally others) Every real profile represents a real person or couple, all of whom deserve respect. (although respect can unfortunately include "briefly consider but still delete message")

When dealing with people I think unfortunately those issues will persist. They are people after all "

Sure. But, it sucks, and it's important for those subject to the abuse to discuss it. The whole, it's universal not just something I've done wrong.

I have developed an immunity to it, but I often avoid my inbox because ugh I do not want to hear it.

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By *riendly and hornyMan
over a year ago

Crewe

I wonder how many times someone writes a fancy a fuck message before realising it doesn't work.

And imagine the feeling he must get if on his 1000th message he gets a 'yes come round now' reply.

Lottery winner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One liners, dick pics, crap profiles, limited pics,

And the messages they send awfully.

That's why I blocked men from my profile.. To many who think you should drop everything and go fk them

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By *anDare70Man
over a year ago

kirkby


"I wonder how many times someone writes a fancy a fuck message before realising it doesn't work.

And imagine the feeling he must get if on his 1000th message he gets a 'yes come round now' reply.

Lottery winner "

It’s even more direct on Fabguys but still it’s a case of

Meet now... 2am

Meet even though I’m a hundred miles away

Do something that your profile suggests your not into

Time wasters

Picture hunters etc

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I wonder how many times someone writes a fancy a fuck message before realising it doesn't work.

And imagine the feeling he must get if on his 1000th message he gets a 'yes come round now' reply.

Lottery winner "

I've heard that some guys use the scattergun approach. It's worth sending 1000 messages and pissing off 999 women if one says yes.

Problem is when hundreds of men do this.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I wonder how many times someone writes a fancy a fuck message before realising it doesn't work.

And imagine the feeling he must get if on his 1000th message he gets a 'yes come round now' reply.

Lottery winner

It’s even more direct on Fabguys but still it’s a case of

Meet now... 2am

Meet even though I’m a hundred miles away

Do something that your profile suggests your not into

Time wasters

Picture hunters etc

"

Lol I get all of that.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I think a lot of this is way off thread.

Which parts?

I thought it was all conducive to making improvements to the quality of communications on fab, which is the original subject?

The original topic was the way mostly men write to women and couples. Honestly, the benefits of relative popularity notwithstanding, we need more space for "this is exhausting and demoralising sometimes".

Men discussing among themselves how they'd like women to interact with them (appreciating that here it's been quite constructive, which it isn't always) gets done a lot.

Well I'm afraid I have to politely disagree, myself and the gentleman above were focussing on ways to prevent women being demoralised and exhausted by implementing vetting procedures.

It is an open forum, and a forum is a place for discussion, I believe we are within the rules here

Feel free to disagree, read, not read, delete or block as applicable

A no thank you button would get the same issue.

Some people do mind being messaged again, some don't, but you can't tell which. For repeat messages, try a different approach and think about being considerably slower than what might be considered pestering (days minimum).

Private notes are in site supporter features if you have them.

Ultimately what needs to change is the lazy, obnoxious, rude/ threatening/ abusive attitude many guys here have. (and occasionally others) Every real profile represents a real person or couple, all of whom deserve respect. (although respect can unfortunately include "briefly consider but still delete message")

When dealing with people I think unfortunately those issues will persist. They are people after all

Sure. But, it sucks, and it's important for those subject to the abuse to discuss it. The whole, it's universal not just something I've done wrong.

I have developed an immunity to it, but I often avoid my inbox because ugh I do not want to hear it. "

Abusive, abrupt and shite messages and a sense of entitlement isn't limited to single males though. It's just don to numbers that it appears more prevalent from them.

Having spent many a year as a single male as well as a couple I've seen more than my fair share of 'inappropriate behaviour' from women and couples towards single men. There's often a sense of a pecking order with guys firmly at the bottom. Couples and single women can expect to be chased, treated as the objects of desire and generally allowed to sit and wait for messages to come to them, rather than any need to go looking themselves.

Those that suffer the most from 'abuse' and unwanted attention would probably benefit from ignoring all incoming messages and starting to send initial enquiries out themselves, rather than expect others to do the groundwork. You get out what you put in. Not happy with what's hitting your inbox? Start looking for what you want instead of waiting for it to come looking for you.

Or - as I always used to say - try clubs.

A

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By *anDare70Man
over a year ago

kirkby


"I wonder how many times someone writes a fancy a fuck message before realising it doesn't work.

And imagine the feeling he must get if on his 1000th message he gets a 'yes come round now' reply.

Lottery winner

I've heard that some guys use the scattergun approach. It's worth sending 1000 messages and pissing off 999 women if one says yes.

Problem is when hundreds of men do this. "

Personally I’m playing hard to get and it turns out I’m really good at it so it seems.

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By *riendly and hornyMan
over a year ago

Crewe

I'd like the option of being able to filter people with less than a certain amount of veris. But that would push the newbies out of the options.

Have it so you can choose the minimum amount of veris over a chosen time period.

I think the vast majority of people with one verification are fakers.

5 verifications over 8 months is about optimum in my opinion

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I tried turning off messages and found it inefficient. And I do go to clubs.

I don't speak for all women, just myself. When I engage with people it's with respect (except friends who understand that it's banter).

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By *anDare70Man
over a year ago

kirkby


"I'd like the option of being able to filter people with less than a certain amount of veris. But that would push the newbies out of the options.

Have it so you can choose the minimum amount of veris over a chosen time period.

I think the vast majority of people with one verification are fakers.

5 verifications over 8 months is about optimum in my opinion "

Ladies and gentlemen... the elitists, cliques and in-crowd have arrived.

Trouble is suddenly ppl would be suddenly over your ideal and no one new would get to meet.

It’s a caste system in disguise.

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By *riendly and hornyMan
over a year ago

Crewe


"I'd like the option of being able to filter people with less than a certain amount of veris. But that would push the newbies out of the options.

Have it so you can choose the minimum amount of veris over a chosen time period.

I think the vast majority of people with one verification are fakers.

5 verifications over 8 months is about optimum in my opinion

Ladies and gentlemen... the elitists, cliques and in-crowd have arrived.

Trouble is suddenly ppl would be suddenly over your ideal and no one new would get to meet.

It’s a caste system in disguise. "

A bit extreme to call it a caste system. It just gives people more options on their preferences. My last sentence was a joke which could well have been a shit joke knowing my history of joking

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By *m35279Woman
over a year ago

belfast

Threads like this are the most recurring on the forum. Most men are not bad. The breed of abusive ones with self-entitlement and moaning, or harassers, or just darn right weird in a bad way, let’s call them, snoopels, or tangsomes. Not just men. Slut shaming doesn’t go down well, nor does ‘man-shaming’ every man. I am not looking men, but I’m not looking to slate them all either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Out of interest, are there many men who message respectively and come across as genuine but turn out to be time wasters?"

In short yes.

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By *LOVEpinacoladasWoman
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Those that suffer the most from 'abuse' and unwanted attention would probably benefit from ignoring all incoming messages and starting to send initial enquiries out themselves, rather than expect others to do the groundwork. You get out what you put in. Not happy with what's hitting your inbox? Start looking for what you want instead of waiting for it to come looking for you."

This is what works best for me! I keep my profile hidden until I come across someone that takes my fancy, then I'll send them a message and unhide myself until they've taken a look.

I've found that proactive messaging leads to better conversations and a much better chance of actually meeting. Even when I would respond to someone else's initial message, the majority of the time they'd go quiet when it actually came to arranging a meet.

It's no fun when slogging through an inbox of dross becomes a chore, and makes me disinclined to continue using the site.

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By *arkhorse66Man
over a year ago

bristol


"Calibre of messages for a single on here as I’ve a single profile.

1. Can I breed you

2. Are you on your period? As I’ve a period fetish

3. Use me a cum dump

4. Kik me babe

5. Can my wife watch

If every single woman moaned on here as much as men the forums would be that about that.

I occasionally read them out to hubby who is like do they really think your going to message back. Guys on here don’t do themselves any favours. I’ve sadly no sympathy for them.

Kitty xx"

But you’re not looking for single guys so presumably they’re blocked anyway!

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By *Khotwife99 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Southwark


"Guys with one line on their profile who think that’s enough to attract women.

Or just saying in a message to you 'I've been told I have a nice cock' WTF? I mean really? Would they try that line out in a bar? F*cking doubt it!

I had one message to say “ my friend has said hes fucked you before, send me some pics of you and some nudes so I can see if it’s you”

That is totally wrong. How dare another guy say you have fucked. What happened to being discreet.... just block them Hun don't let them get to you, their loss not yours"

I knew it was BS as I’ve slept with three guys and I’m now married to the third. It was just a bizzare ploy to get me to send him a message

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I get all sorts of BS ploys to get me to reply. If I can be bothered, I ask them something about me that they'd know if we'd met.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So from the forums I see a lot of single males complaining about not being messaged back, or not getting meets. From our limited time on here already I’ve put it down to two things.

Firstly, of the literal hundreds of messages we’ve received from single males we’d say that only 5-10% have actually read our profile. So of course you’ll not be messaged back.

And secondly, probably the most important, the entitlement the majority of you seem to have. Yes this is a swinging site, but I’m not obligated to fuck you just because I’m on here.

I’ve received abuse and slurs for not replying to single males, they’re then blocked. I understand you’re not all like it, and will no doubt message to say you’re not like it. But honestly some of you need to really think about how you’re acting.

I know this is long winded but I’d assume we aren’t the only ones dealing with this day in day out?

Daisy x

"

Well said !!

I must block 5- 10 people a day, who haven't read my profile or aren't what Iam seeking. It's not too be rude, it's to save time and hopefully ( although I doubt it ) they might one day learn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a guy message asking 'does your cunt still bleed' I give up, I really do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People really let this site get to them

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By *Khotwife99 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Southwark


"I had a guy message asking 'does your cunt still bleed' I give up, I really do "

And who said romance is dead? 80% of men on here don’t pull in the “vanilla” world why do they assume they can in this world

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I had a guy message asking 'does your cunt still bleed' I give up, I really do "

I used to get messages telling me that my dresses were short and they were going to bend me over and fuck me in a pub.

These days now it's clear that they're not short, I'm usually told that they're going to destroy my dresses to get at me.

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By *eedsmale36Man
over a year ago

Leeds


"So from the forums I see a lot of single males complaining about not being messaged back, or not getting meets. From our limited time on here already I’ve put it down to two things.

Firstly, of the literal hundreds of messages we’ve received from single males we’d say that only 5-10% have actually read our profile. So of course you’ll not be messaged back.

And secondly, probably the most important, the entitlement the majority of you seem to have. Yes this is a swinging site, but I’m not obligated to fuck you just because I’m on here.

I’ve received abuse and slurs for not replying to single males, they’re then blocked. I understand you’re not all like it, and will no doubt message to say you’re not like it. But honestly some of you need to really think about how you’re acting.

I know this is long winded but I’d assume we aren’t the only ones dealing with this day in day out?

Daisy x

Great photo Daisy, can I fuck your cunt with a cucumber as I wank with a pair of your worn lacy knickers

"
Pmsl

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By *eedsmale36Man
over a year ago

Leeds


"So from the forums I see a lot of single males complaining about not being messaged back, or not getting meets. From our limited time on here already I’ve put it down to two things.

Firstly, of the literal hundreds of messages we’ve received from single males we’d say that only 5-10% have actually read our profile. So of course you’ll not be messaged back.

And secondly, probably the most important, the entitlement the majority of you seem to have. Yes this is a swinging site, but I’m not obligated to fuck you just because I’m on here.

I’ve received abuse and slurs for not replying to single males, they’re then blocked. I understand you’re not all like it, and will no doubt message to say you’re not like it. But honestly some of you need to really think about how you’re acting.

I know this is long winded but I’d assume we aren’t the only ones dealing with this day in day out?

Daisy x

"

Great photo daisy, can I fuck your cunt with a cucumber as I wank my cock with a pair of your worn lacy knickers pmsl

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By *od ThrusterMan
over a year ago

Newport Pagnell

The fact that there are guys out there sending messages like this is a mixed blessing for the rest of us males.

On the one hand they are instantly counting themselves out of the reckoning and shortening the odds for the rest of us, but on the other hand they put peoples backs up when dealing with single males generally.

Personally I don't get that many replies, maybe 5%, but I just chalk it up to experience - no one is obligated to reply let alone meet. Perhaps another 10-15% don't reply but don't delete my message either - so I like to think I'm in their "pending tray".

Life is too short to worry about these things let alone dish out abuse to people because they either don't reply, or give you a reply you don't like.

Ignore them Daisy, they're not worth bothering with. Block and move on.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"

Yes, I’ve come across a few!"

I bet they enjoyed that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just block single men from messaging you and do your own searching, problem solved, btw we are here all week

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