FabSwingers.com forum: How, do you say no?

By *erkshireBiCouple OP Couple
over a year ago

Reading

A different take on the weekly rejection thread.

We as a couple try to do nice replies but it's a bit much sometimes.

How do you let folks down gently?

Ps if you read this and messaged its not you honestly

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We vary it but it's always polite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be honest & say there not for you! & hope they find what they looking for x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks, but not for us.

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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Just be honest & say there not for you! & hope they find what they looking for x"

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"A different take on the weekly rejection thread.

We as a couple try to do nice replies but it's a bit much sometimes.

How do you let folks down gently?

Ps if you read this and messaged its not you honestly

I usually say tongue in cheek ‘it’s the big red buzzer for you today ahh ahh its a no’.

Then block so no more messages can be sent.

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Depends entirely on the method of query.

Usually if they're a bit rude I favour "sorry door number 1 but it's a no from me'

But mostly I say I'm too busy or not meeting new people right now because I hate getting abusive messages. 60% of guys I reject are abusive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d go for: niet, nada, nothing, not a sausage, you’re hopes are ill-placed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We say we're not a match and wish them luck. Keep it simple.

Mrs

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By *erkshireBiCouple OP Couple
over a year ago

Reading

"Depends entirely on the method of query.

Usually if they're a bit rude I favour "sorry door number 1 but it's a no from me'

But mostly I say I'm too busy or not meeting new people right now because I hate getting abusive messages. 60% of guys I reject are abusive.

We do this and most of the other things suggested.

Its not that we are not interested but you can only have so many conversations going on at one time.

We are on here to meet folks not endless messaging x

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By *erkshireBiCouple OP Couple
over a year ago

Reading

"Depends entirely on the method of query.

Usually if they're a bit rude I favour "sorry door number 1 but it's a no from me'

But mostly I say I'm too busy or not meeting new people right now because I hate getting abusive messages. 60% of guys I reject are abusive.

Unfortunately we find the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We usually go along the lines of 'Sorry, but you're not quite what we are looking for, all the best in your search'

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By *erkshireBiCouple OP Couple
over a year ago

Reading

"I’d go for: niet, nada, nothing, not a sausage, you’re hopes are ill-placed!"

Which is fair enough.

Why should we waste our time?

You seem like a nice guy but our inbox gets full.

Does making the polite reply make a difference.

From our experience sometimes yes and sometimes no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on their approach.

Ignore and delete to the usual no thought messages

Or refer them to the fact my profile says I’m not meeting

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By *hesexpeopleCouple
over a year ago

s wales

"We usually go along the lines of 'Sorry, but you're not quite what we are looking for, all the best in your search'

I write a similar reply, and mostly get a thanks for the reply message back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just found your rejection polite and pleasant lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be honest but kind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Polite and respectful always good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A different take on the weekly rejection thread.

We as a couple try to do nice replies but it's a bit much sometimes.

How do you let folks down gently?

Ps if you read this and messaged its not you honestly

"
just be polite most people will accept it graciously

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

[Removed by poster at 09/12/18 13:45:13]

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

I say no then add " I hope you find what your looking for " ..works for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always reply to first messages. Can't remember the last time I had any abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Ohh hello! I didn’t realise you’re on here too! Have you spoken to mum lately?'

We never hear back from them

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By *uminsiderMKMan
over a year ago

St Austell

It's not often that I have to send a 'thanks, but no thanks' type of message...

....but on the rare occasion I have done, it's been on the lines of 'sorry, not my type', or 'thanks, but not my thing' - depending on who it is, or what they're looking for...

....I try to keep it light and polite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to ignore and delete the message so they know that I've seen it but not interested. I know some people find that rude but sometimes I'm only on for 5 mins and due to the volume I receive I don't want to spend it replying to people that I'm not interested in.

Also, where I did try the no thank you thing I was often met by 'why' and 'oh go on'. Mostly by single men and the male half of couples. As soon as they know you speak they don't relent until you end up blocking them

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By *uminsiderMKMan
over a year ago

St Austell

"I write a similar reply, and mostly get a thanks for the reply message back. "

I always thank people for taking the time to reply...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say thanks for the message, explain they aren’t my type, say something positive about the sender and wish them luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'Ohh hello! I didn’t realise you’re on here too! Have you spoken to mum lately?'

We never hear back from them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We usually go along the lines of 'Sorry, but you're not quite what we are looking for, all the best in your search'

I write a similar reply, and mostly get a thanks for the reply message back. "

We also usually get back an 'OK' or 'thanks for reply'. I think only on a couple of occasions we didn't get anything and once had a very rude reply.

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By *MNJCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

Single guys we troll them, if they'd read the profile they'd have known what to expect.

Couples we tend to just let the convo die out, the few we've had to say "sorry you're not for us" have been understanding enough.

Single women are usually fake if they're messaging us first so we send them a screen shot of where their pictures came from on google and they block us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single guys we troll them, if they'd read the profile they'd have known what to expect.

Couples we tend to just let the convo die out, the few we've had to say "sorry you're not for us" have been understanding enough.

Single women are usually fake if they're messaging us first so we send them a screen shot of where their pictures came from on google and they block us. "

Why don’t you just block single guys instead of being internet trolls? (Weird thing to be proud of)

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By *erkshireBiCouple OP Couple
over a year ago

Reading

"I just found your rejection polite and pleasant lol"

Haha really!

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By *MNJCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

"Single guys we troll them, if they'd read the profile they'd have known what to expect.

Couples we tend to just let the convo die out, the few we've had to say "sorry you're not for us" have been understanding enough.

Single women are usually fake if they're messaging us first so we send them a screen shot of where their pictures came from on google and they block us.

Why don’t you just block single guys instead of being internet trolls? (Weird thing to be proud of)"

Why message people who clearly aren't looking for single guys in the first place, it's never harsh or personal trolling and the ones who don't throw a paddy about it laugh about it.

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By *kpiercedCouple
over a year ago

walsall

We normally put “thanks but no thanks “

Ignore

if there rude or get on tits it’s a delete

A block in exceptionally cockwomble cases

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

I just mostly don't reply anymore. I delete quite a lot without even reading the message.

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By *erkshireBiCouple OP Couple
over a year ago

Reading

"I tend to ignore and delete the message so they know that I've seen it but not interested. I know some people find that rude but sometimes I'm only on for 5 mins and due to the volume I receive I don't want to spend it replying to people that I'm not interested in.

"
yes this unfortunately at times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry not for us, good luck in your search x.

That’s all we put

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Thanks for your message but I'm not interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single guys we troll them, if they'd read the profile they'd have known what to expect.

Couples we tend to just let the convo die out, the few we've had to say "sorry you're not for us" have been understanding enough.

Single women are usually fake if they're messaging us first so we send them a screen shot of where their pictures came from on google and they block us.

Why don’t you just block single guys instead of being internet trolls? (Weird thing to be proud of)"

Trolling people just pisses them off then they go and be abusive to someone else.

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By *MNJCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

"Single guys we troll them, if they'd read the profile they'd have known what to expect.

Couples we tend to just let the convo die out, the few we've had to say "sorry you're not for us" have been understanding enough.

Single women are usually fake if they're messaging us first so we send them a screen shot of where their pictures came from on google and they block us.

Why don’t you just block single guys instead of being internet trolls? (Weird thing to be proud of)

Trolling people just pisses them off then they go and be abusive to someone else. "

They're normally fine with us once they realize we don't really want them to dress up as big bird for a threesome with woody wood pecker or help bury a dead hooker. I guess there are different types of trolling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A different take on the weekly rejection thread.

We as a couple try to do nice replies but it's a bit much sometimes.

How do you let folks down gently?

Ps if you read this and messaged its not you honestly

Say "thank you for message but not quite what we are looking for at this time, take care"

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By *urreyloverMan
over a year ago

Guildford

As in all aspects of life, treat others as you would wish to be treated. A gracious "Thank you for your interest but you are not what we are seeking. We hope that you find a suitable match in the future." should only get a positive "thank you for your response" reply and no further communication. If they are abusive then they have justified your original reply and they deserve to be blocked. Ignoring and blocking following a courteous approach could be considered to be rude. It is however understandable if the recipient has been swamped or the approach was rude and ill-considered. Best wishes at this joyous time of the year.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I tend to not reply. Yeah I know I’m sooooooooo rood.

Although sometimes I do, usually if someone gorgeous messages me but they’re attached. Then I might respond with a “dammit”.

V x

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By *hubnwife_36dd_ukCouple
over a year ago

chester

"A different take on the weekly rejection thread.

We as a couple try to do nice replies but it's a bit much sometimes.

How do you let folks down gently?

Ps if you read this and messaged its not you honestly

Assuming the original messages were polite, and not just "Hi, when can we fuck" or aren't such as to show the messenger failed dismally to read the profile then how about something along the lines of

"Sorry to disappoint you after being nice enough to message but so far nothing is clicking, so It's a no go I'm afraid".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

NO.

simple as that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single guys we troll them, if they'd read the profile they'd have known what to expect.

Couples we tend to just let the convo die out, the few we've had to say "sorry you're not for us" have been understanding enough.

Single women are usually fake if they're messaging us first so we send them a screen shot of where their pictures came from on google and they block us.

Why don’t you just block single guys instead of being internet trolls? (Weird thing to be proud of)

Trolling people just pisses them off then they go and be abusive to someone else.

I'm surprised they realise you don't want that.

Big bird sounds fun.

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By *MNJCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

"Single guys we troll them, if they'd read the profile they'd have known what to expect.

Couples we tend to just let the convo die out, the few we've had to say "sorry you're not for us" have been understanding enough.

Single women are usually fake if they're messaging us first so we send them a screen shot of where their pictures came from on google and they block us.

Why don’t you just block single guys instead of being internet trolls? (Weird thing to be proud of)

Trolling people just pisses them off then they go and be abusive to someone else.

I'm surprised they realise you don't want that.

Big bird sounds fun. "

It takes longer than you'd think, and apparently having 13 toes doesn't discourage the majority of foot fetishists either, which is good news if you have 13 toes and like a foot fetishists I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We usually just reply that sadly we don’t feel we’re compatible. In all fairness 90% of the time we’re not because they haven’t read our profile and don’t match what we’re looking for...

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By *he Secret Tea PartyCouple
over a year ago

London

I just say "You're not my type".

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

We just say sorry but there is no attraction.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I think polite, but honest. Depends on the conversation and context but normally on the the lines of simply your not for me. I don't see what more there is to say? Surely normal people know attraction is a subjective thing and thus it follows and is perfectly normal that it could be that your not someone's type? I don't think beating around the Bush is very good or fair to the other person.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"A different take on the weekly rejection thread.

We as a couple try to do nice replies but it's a bit much sometimes.

How do you let folks down gently?

Ps if you read this and messaged its not you honestly

In our experience thus far.

Explain that they are not your type and say it's nothing personal we can't all get along.

Be polite wish them farewell and happy swinging.

And block before the fireworks start.

Last guy we rejected took it very badly and started messaging people on our Veri list telling people we had been slagging them off and putting up status slagging us off.

It was a shame because we had a nice social but he just wasn't Mrs type,but he didn't like it one bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my experience most delete my messages with no reply. A few seem to think it's necessary to block me as well,which I find very annoying,the odd few will reply,usually saying I'm not what their looking for. Don't really know why I'm still here !

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