FabSwingers.com forum: Bi journey

By *ighthearted33 OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

looking for maybe some morale support or advice on where to start

do people think it's wrong? I know alot of people will say you need to do the right thing for yourself but either way

what's people's thoughts on it ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, it’s not wrong.

A sauna is a great place to try things out. You could try a glory hole if you’re shy or wait to meet a guy you like and tell him it’s your first time. There’s lots of really nice guys in saunas.

Not just arseholes

(sorry; couldn’t resist the joke)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Nothing wrong or shameful in exploring your sexuality whatever it may be OP - if the urge is there go for it.

You could try changing your profile to bi-curious and see if you get any messages from other guys - from experience a lot will want to go straight to sex chat and meeting - if that's your thing then go for it, if not explain to them that you are just exploring, are nervous and want to take things slowly - if they're not interested in that then they weren't the right one for you.

You could do worse than get along to a bi night at a club where there's no pressure but you can watch other guys and get a feel for whether you want to take that step - there's a club in Nottingham called Purple Mamba that is LBGT friendly I believe that might fit the bill nicely

Remember you don't have to go anything and can go at your own speed - ultimately it is down to you and what you are comfortable with.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hlasherMan
over a year ago

Gloucester

I was in exactly the same situation as you once. I was very lucky to have a very supportive wife who actively encouraged me to take that first step and I visited a gay club with her knowledge and blessing. I was approached by a few, very horny men and I told them all my situation. I eventually hooked up with a very considerate guy who's flat I went back to. My heart was thumping throughout but after some time with him (PM me if you really want the details), it felt like a massive weight had been lifted. Once you've had that first time, you'll wonder what the fuss was all about. I wish you all the best mate, please let us know how it goes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, it’s not wrong.

Not just arseholes

(sorry; couldn’t resist the joke) "

Saunas and glory holes are an awfull way to start out for the inexperienced, my advice to the OP is to...

To stay the way you are as its going to be something you might bitterly regret all the days of your life, some things are best kept a fantasy and sometimes doors are best left closed....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"No, it’s not wrong.

Not just arseholes

(sorry; couldn’t resist the joke)

Saunas and glory holes are an awfull way to start out for the inexperienced, my advice to the OP is to...

To stay the way you are as its going to be something you might bitterly regret all the days of your life, some things are best kept a fantasy and sometimes doors are best left closed...."

Or conversely it might be something he finds completes him and takes him on a journey into a more open and uninhibited side to his sexuality in general.

Only the OP can decide what is best for him and some of the advice given above is a great way to dip his toes without necessarily getting them wet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mostly meet guys seeking their first Bisexual experience, before I meet them , I warn them of the pitfalls, those determined to meet me, do so, its not a nice thing to see a guy in a state of guilt, confusion and sorrow after the sex is over,true some take to bisexual activities like a duck to water, but MOST dont and the experience is like a millstone on their neck..

Saunas and glory holes are not the place to start off for newbies to the scene, those that frequent such places ought to know this...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I mostly meet guys seeking their first Bisexual experience, before I meet them , I warn them of the pitfalls, those determined to meet me, do so, its not a nice thing to see a guy in a state of guilt, confusion and sorrow after the sex is over,true some take to bisexual activities like a duck to water, but MOST dont and the experience is like a millstone on their neck..

Saunas and glory holes are not the place to start off for newbies to the scene, those that frequent such places ought to know this..."

A gay bar or a one to one meet off a site can lead to so much self pressure and expectation it ruins it for first timers. In a sauna he can stroll around at his comfort, decide if seeing all the naked guys and watching guys in action if for him before he participates at all. If not, just walk out knowing not for him.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *offee with MilkCouple
over a year ago

Over the roundabout and then turn right.

Saunas and glory holes are not the place to start off for newbies to the scene, those that frequent such places ought to know this..."

I find the guys who hang their heads in shame after the act are usually those who are exploring without the knowledge of their partner. That's where the guilt really lies.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orkspoonMan
over a year ago

nearby

I don't think there is a right way or wrong way to go about things. The main thing is being comfortable that you want to try something. Once you figure that part out, the rest is easy. My first was off grindr, followed by sauna meets, and then from there.

By the way if you're curious about saunas, look up my guide to men only saunas in the forums!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHornyGentMan
over a year ago

South East London

When I started my bi journey I had my profile as bi-curious. Visits to clubs on regular and bi nights led to chat with like minded people and eventually some play.

My wife isn’t fully accepting but allows me the space to explore and not keep that part of me repressed. In my experience, not being allowed to express your emotions, feelings or explore your sexuality is much more damaging than playing.

Good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

Just invite the next guy to message you that you like the look /sound of over for a mutual wank and take things from there -no pressure really is it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hoot45Man
over a year ago

Ramsgate

Saunas and gloryholes are a pretty much in your face and maybe not suited to the faint hearted. A bicurious mate of mine was taken to a sauna by a very experienced buddy and felt intimidated by it. He’s a very attractive guy and was the centre of attraction but felt it wasn’t for him. So just think carefully before you do anything. As for trying to bury the whole thing I think that’s a mistake too. Not expressing your sexuality and being repressed is not a good thing psychologically. It’s a very British thing to do, but if you’re repressed your feelings and frustration may surface in other ways and just make you a miserable git. Try and work your own path through it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread