FabSwingers.com forum: What is going on here

By *ngelandDemon OP Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

We've been thinking recently about how this site has changed since we first joined, back then getting meets was simple and easy, we'd chat on here, see if there was a mutual attraction then arrange to meet.

Now it seems to be a million messages backwards and forwards with no hint of arranging anything, that's of course if you actually get a reply.

Thoughts/opinions most welcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Times change and people are more wary of who they are meeting?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think things have changed too much tbh

For example I only started chatting to the last person I met the week before, and the only reason we couldn't meet sooner was because of school holidays..

But i would agree there are far too many timewasters on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nail on the head. Be great if there was a vetting strategy ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know the feeling.. Every time I try to arrange a meet the inbox goes silent.. Unsure what's wrong with me xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We've been thinking recently about how this site has changed since we first joined, back then getting meets was simple and easy, we'd chat on here, see if there was a mutual attraction then arrange to meet.

Now it seems to be a million messages backwards and forwards with no hint of arranging anything, that's of course if you actually get a reply.

Thoughts/opinions most welcome. "
maybe it's your experience and your filters as a result of your knowledge, these sites change with people and people come and go at a rapid rate of knots

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Four years on/off. I've given up!

Thank god for daytime clubs!

Good luck peeps x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Nothing remains the same. If you recognise that things have changed the thing to do is alter your approach or accept that doing things the same way will bring reduced success.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Four years on/off. I've given up!

Thank god for daytime clubs!

Good luck peeps x"
did you give up this morning?

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

It all depends on who you're messaging and what level of connection you're after. If it's a fuck 'n go then anything over and above a few messages to arrange and confirm a meet is a waste of time.

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By *ngelandDemon OP Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

"I know the feeling.. Every time I try to arrange a meet the inbox goes silent.. Unsure what's wrong with me xx"

Nothing wrong with you from what we can see x

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

It works for me.

I do think the fewer messages exchanged, the more chance of a meet.

Endless message ping pong doesn't do it for me.

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By *uxinteriorMan
over a year ago

south west , continental

As in life you are either genuine or a time waster. It's human nature.

Many like to delude themselves into thinking they will meet, maybe it's a thrill, attention seeking thing. 100% genuine people will always chat, become friends and meet. you normally get a feel for who is genuine and those just there for a cheap thrill. From my prospective yes sometimes it can be slow, laborious and seem like a waste of time. However there are always those gems out there, just you have to peel back the layers of wrapping!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a woman it's a safety thing, for men it's probably because most of them are not honest on their profiles and realise we will know if we meet them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing that’s happened is - you’ve got older

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

Now it seems to be a million messages backwards and forwards with no hint of arranging anything, that's of course if you actually get a reply.

Thoughts/opinions most welcome. "
Site has been compromised, a lot of non swingers or armchair swingers on it now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a lot of people on here many years who seem to say they have given up. Think this can show things have changed a lot. New people joining bring in new expectations and the way they meet maybe different too. Many are now only meeting at parties and socials. I've been here over 3 yrs, I still meet a few from when I first started but I'm not into one off meets which I think most tend to do with all the window shopping available. My last new meet was nearly 8 months ago and it's not that I haven't tried. I was to meet someone 9 werks ago in England after a lot of chatting but it never happened. I doubt it ever will now either. Life happens. Many chats just die off after a couple weeks which to me that's ok as if one hasn't talked about arranging to meet by then it rarely will happen in my experience. Fab doesn't change but the people on it or joining it do.

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By *ddibleMan
over a year ago

Exeter Bristol Salisbury

To be honest the site is pretty much the same as it always been, just more members now.

If I think back to when I joined it was a ratio of 1 out of every 5 was a genuine person, but now it seems to be 1 in 15, like most things over time you get better and better at spotting most of them (Not all). There are pros and cons to everything I guess.

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By *outhEastPaulMan
over a year ago

Thames Ditton surrey

I certainly think you are right. I put it down to say 10 years ago sites like Fab were slightly new and the people who started using wanted to have fun and the numbers were far far less and more balanced - I don’t know if more genuine was the right term but you were certainly able to message / chat to people and fairly quickly if it felt right you met.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now it seems to be a million messages backwards and forwards with no hint of arranging anything, that's of course if you actually get a reply.

Thoughts/opinions most welcome. Site has been compromised, a lot of non swingers or armchair swingers on it now."

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Things change.

For example my other half likes dogging, it's all but disappeared. I did a quick non scientific look at profiles in my area. Most have recent meets, none I recognise from the forums.

Could it be people are looking to meet forumites from "snog, fuck or marry" type threads, the type who flirt/hijack with no intention of meeting but give the impression they're up for it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you only have to read the forums to see what has changed. I think many use it as a 'naughty' social media.

I've yet to meet anyone who actually post in the forums. All of my meets have come from direct interaction. Hard work, but hey! Who said life is easy!

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

Now it seems to be a million messages backwards and forwards with no hint of arranging anything, that's of course if you actually get a reply.

Thoughts/opinions most welcome. Site has been compromised, a lot of non swingers or armchair swingers on it now.

It has become another sex site. Many will argue differently but it has changed. The very fact that there are far more singles on the site...and that also feeds the swinging couples appetite, many couples meet one on one and no longer exclusively at a swingers party which was not the original idea. Singles meet one on one and so a change happens away from tradition."
I've only been on a couple of years now but what I have heard from people in clubs was that it used to be good. Think word of mouth etc has exposed it too much.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Things change.

For example my other half likes dogging, it's all but disappeared. I did a quick non scientific look at profiles in my area. Most have recent meets, none I recognise from the forums.

Could it be people are looking to meet forumites from "snog, fuck or marry" type threads, the type who flirt/hijack with no intention of meeting but give the impression they're up for it?

Maybe. Some of our meets have been from the forums and some not.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I've yet to meet anyone who actually post in the forums. All of my meets have come from direct interaction!"

My point!

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

Sometimes it's extremely hard work , so much so you wonder why you bother . But then occasionally you speak to someone and you instantly click and meet them quickly

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Things change.

For example my other half likes dogging, it's all but disappeared. I did a quick non scientific look at profiles in my area. Most have recent meets, none I recognise from the forums.

Could it be people are looking to meet forumites from "snog, fuck or marry" type threads, the type who flirt/hijack with no intention of meeting but give the impression they're up for it?

Maybe. Some of our meets have been from the forums and some not."

You're "old timers" like myself. Operative word "some". I was more musing aloud, wondering if people looked beyond the forums for meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems pretty much unchanged to me after about 7 years.

I guess different perceptions of Fab reflect the variety of people here and what they are looking for.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Over the years the whole scene has changed so much . We’ve been at it for over eight years and back then you posted a meet , went through the replies and arranged the meet . It was rare for people not to turn up .

Over the past couple of years there’s been a massive shift towards social interaction , and even clubs are now primarily socially orientated . Look at the threads on here that talk about expectations on a club night . Two thirds say they don’t go to a swinging club expecting to play !

Anyone saying that swinging to them is about sexual pleasure with like minded people is often ostracised as they don’t grasp the concept of the social side . I’ve lost count of the threads that we have said we don’t do the whole social thing , and all we get is earache for saying so .

So we totally agree with the op , and although we know there are a few people like ourselves left , we’ve had enough now . The hassle , the letdowns , the time wasters , the judgemental , and most of all the social butterflies and peacocks have ruined what used to be a great scene for us .

We stopped meeting six months ago , and in all truth things have never been better . No stress , no disappointment , no let downs , and of course we’ve still had plenty of fun . Mainly with each other , but the odd foray at local pubs and clubs . For some reason it seems easier to pull and have fun outside the swinging scene now .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Things change.

For example my other half likes dogging, it's all but disappeared. I did a quick non scientific look at profiles in my area. Most have recent meets, none I recognise from the forums.

Could it be people are looking to meet forumites from "snog, fuck or marry" type threads, the type who flirt/hijack with no intention of meeting but give the impression they're up for it?

Maybe. Some of our meets have been from the forums and some not.

You're "old timers" like myself. Operative word "some". I was more musing aloud, wondering if people looked beyond the forums for meets."

Yeah we are

. I was musing aloud too, I find recently that my internal musings somehow get transferred to the forum, its dangerous territory

I think though that being old timers we've (as in you and us) seen the ebb and flow and tend to just roll with it.

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By *ddibleMan
over a year ago

Exeter Bristol Salisbury

I think the forums do give people more insight into a person behind a profile but in terms of the interest I get its about the same, I still get meets but I think that is down to experience. I have a better idea of what I want and know what to look for in a profile to help me decide if it's worth investing in. Maybe this is how the site users have progressed, I'm seeing far more profiles with lists of demands and stipulations on them, so maybe as this scene becomes more 'mainstream' then so do expectations.

I think the advancement of apps like tinder have replaced Fab for those wanting a quick no strings shag

It's interesting to see everyone's perspective on this. I still like fab, its a great way to meet new peope and try new things, and whilst I'm single it suits me and my lifestyle just fine.

The site could do with improving but how is a highly debated subject for another thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Four years on/off. I've given up!

Thank god for daytime clubs!

Good luck peeps xdid you give up this morning? "

Every day I give up. Gotta stop trying so hard on here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Four years on/off. I've given up!

Thank god for daytime clubs!

Good luck peeps xdid you give up this morning?

Every day I give up. Gotta stop trying so hard on here!

"
you have, just go with the flow, nice people to the fore

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I’ve noticed this in the last 18 months too.

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By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

Maybe for some reason since all the Shades nonsense swinging has become more fashionable and the numbers of people who are here just to be inquisitive has increased.

There’s lots more people on here but less that have a proper understanding of the swinging lifestyle.

If you take Bdsm for example you can’t move in on a busy club night for wanna be Dom’s with floggers but how many really understand it?

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By *arren the doggerMan
over a year ago

willenhall

I would love a meet .

Can't even get a response!!

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Now it seems to be a million messages backwards and forwards with no hint of arranging anything, that's of course if you actually get a reply.

Thoughts/opinions most welcome. Site has been compromised, a lot of non swingers or armchair swingers on it now.

It has become another sex site. Many will argue differently but it has changed. The very fact that there are far more singles on the site...and that also feeds the swinging couples appetite, many couples meet one on one and no longer exclusively at a swingers party which was not the original idea. Singles meet one on one and so a change happens away from tradition. I've only been on a couple of years now but what I have heard from people in clubs was that it used to be good. Think word of mouth etc has exposed it too much."

That,the media and people like Jeremy Kyle sensationalising Fab.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I would love a meet .

Can't even get a response!!"

I've responded to you, so that hardly true.

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By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

"I would love a meet .

Can't even get a response!!"

Don’t you think your profile name narrows some filters?

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

Now it seems to be a million messages backwards and forwards with no hint of arranging anything, that's of course if you actually get a reply.

Thoughts/opinions most welcome. Site has been compromised, a lot of non swingers or armchair swingers on it now.

It has become another sex site. Many will argue differently but it has changed. The very fact that there are far more singles on the site...and that also feeds the swinging couples appetite, many couples meet one on one and no longer exclusively at a swingers party which was not the original idea. Singles meet one on one and so a change happens away from tradition. I've only been on a couple of years now but what I have heard from people in clubs was that it used to be good. Think word of mouth etc has exposed it too much.

That,the media and people like Jeremy Kyle sensationalising Fab. "
Yeah exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It has changed a lot... I used to meet nice guys and have fun, now no one looks like their profile pics and as soon as you do meet they are straight in to the “ when can I fuck you “ conversation... Easier at clubs these days, at least you can see who people really are x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It has changed a lot... I used to meet nice guys and have fun, now no one looks like their profile pics and as soon as you do meet they are straight in to the “ when can I fuck you “ conversation... Easier at clubs these days, at least you can see who people really are x "

Agreed x

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By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

Agreed x

I’ve said pretty much the same for a while if I had to rely on Fab for meets I’d struggle clubs are different entirely you can meet genuine swingers face to face have a giggle and then some fun you can also build up some long term friendships

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By *x3anteexxCouple
over a year ago

NW Cheshire

Exactly this

We 99% do clubs only now.

It's never about the looks as we've had so many so called good lookers be dull as dishwater.... We only ever play now if we've had a real laugh face to face. Impossible to get turned on by just a few messages.

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By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

Exactly this

We 99% do clubs only now.

Oooooch there’s me thinking my success was down to my looks lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now it seems to be a million messages backwards and forwards with no hint of arranging anything, that's of course if you actually get a reply.

Thoughts/opinions most welcome. "

It might have done, however your complaint seems a little odd, why don't you arrange the meet instead of waiting for the other party?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont know what im doing wrong i get nowhere on here no matter how much i try....can anyone give me some advice?

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By *ap d agde coupleCouple
over a year ago

Broadstairs

Try getting a woman partner lot easier then

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

"Times change and people are more wary of who they are meeting?"

Well said, spot on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont know what im doing wrong i get nowhere on here no matter how much i try....can anyone give me some advice?"

Sure, start your own thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was definitely easier years ago. Less ping pong, quicker to arrange, less flaky, more regular meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing ever stays the same

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By *4tCouple
over a year ago

warrington

"I know the feeling.. Every time I try to arrange a meet the inbox goes silent.. Unsure what's wrong with me xx"

wink wink xx

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By *ollycouple71Couple
over a year ago

manchester

Now it seems to be a million messages backwards and forwards with no hint of arranging anything, that's of course if you actually get a reply.

Thoughts/opinions most welcome. Site has been compromised, a lot of non swingers or armchair swingers on it now."

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I dont know what im doing wrong i get nowhere on here no matter how much i try....can anyone give me some advice?"

Yes. People will look at a profile. Start there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don’t ping pong messages, swap pics and if all food arrange a meet, if they start trying to get into a long winded conversation on here before arranging a meet we give up.

Clubs seem to be full of peacocks, socialites and people who think playing with just there own partners is swinging, anyone going to a club and wandering who the DJ is or what music is going to be played is NOT a swinger

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