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New Thoughts, Old Boundaries

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’m just starting out on exploring BDSM properly. I’ve experimented with willing partners in the past but nothing more than a little light spanking, the occasional blindfold and basic restraint.

It has only been more recently that I have realised that my love of giving sensual pleasure is all about taking control of my partner’s repeated arousal and taking my pleasure, as and when I desire it. That has led me to explore more hardcore ideas - but so far only in my imagination (and through a sneaky peek at porn too, of course.)

Ideally, I suppose it would be great to meet a ‘more advanced’ couple (with me as a voyeur and willing participant, if invited) to learn the ropes, so to speak and really get to understand how to help a lady take pleasure from pain, restraint and/or dominance. I know that even as a voyeur, that would give me a lot of pleasure.

I’m not sure how an individual sub, or more likely couple, would feel about being my guides into this world, or would welcome such an idea?

Maybe that is too much to ask for, I’m just thinking out loud - but it could be a lot of fun too. Your thoughts are welcome.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

No thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes! Please don't conflate sub/dom practices with BDSM. There might be quite a big overlap in practice but they are quite different in substance. There have been several threads this week doing just that which should still be in the first couple of pages of the forum list.

Mike xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Good advice Mike - I’m not really sure where my journey might lead - but in the real world, I’m often in the Cambs area.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I suspect your journey might point you in the right direction by going to organised events and clubs. For me, and I this is my thoughts only, your “scene” feels very subservient and not congruent to assertive play.

However, I was wrong once.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good advice Mike - I’m not really sure where my journey might lead - but in the real world, I’m often in the Cambs area."

I would invite you to join us but our circumstances mean that the chances of all of us overlapping in space and time are pretty low unless you're in Cambridge for extend periods.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m just starting out on exploring BDSM properly. I’ve experimented with willing partners in the past but nothing more than a little light spanking, the occasional blindfold and basic restraint.

It has only been more recently that I have realised that my love of giving sensual pleasure is all about taking control of my partner’s repeated arousal and taking my pleasure, as and when I desire it. That has led me to explore more hardcore ideas - but so far only in my imagination (and through a sneaky peek at porn too, of course.)

Ideally, I suppose it would be great to meet a ‘more advanced’ couple (with me as a voyeur and willing participant, if invited) to learn the ropes, so to speak and really get to understand how to help a lady take pleasure from pain, restraint and/or dominance. I know that even as a voyeur, that would give me a lot of pleasure.

I’m not sure how an individual sub, or more likely couple, would feel about being my guides into this world, or would welcome such an idea?

Maybe that is too much to ask for, I’m just thinking out loud - but it could be a lot of fun too. Your thoughts are welcome."
try going along to a local swinging club on get night and talk to people there ,might be a good jumping off point good luck with your journey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fet night even lol

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

There's another site that can't be named but is well known in fet circles that may be of help OP - beyond that my advice would be to read, read and read some more about BDSM and D/s and get a clear idea in your head of what you are looking for, the kind of person you think you are and where you think you might fit.

Two recommended reads are Screw The Roses Bring Me The Thorns and SM101 both of which are available from Amazon.

Get along to local munches (socials for the kink community) and talk to people there.

Try some of the on-line BDSM questionnaires which are always a good way of forming thoughts as to what type of player you think you might be.

Keep reading and interacting with others of a like mind

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Great - thanks for all the advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's another site that can't be named but is well known in fet circles that may be of help OP - beyond that my advice would be to read, read and read some more about BDSM and D/s and get a clear idea in your head of what you are looking for, the kind of person you think you are and where you think you might fit.

Two recommended reads are Screw The Roses Bring Me The Thorns and SM101 both of which are available from Amazon.

Get along to local munches (socials for the kink community) and talk to people there.

Try some of the on-line BDSM questionnaires which are always a good way of forming thoughts as to what type of player you think you might be.

Keep reading and interacting with others of a like mind "

Both books are fantastic. Someone stole my Thorns book

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