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A man's value in the swinging world.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Read in an article today about a man who deeply wanted the swinging lifestyle, but his partner didn't and was considering leaving her as he felt to deny his true self wasn't fair for either of them. One comment that was said was - in Swinging the WOMEN rule. Single men have ZERO value unless they are of a certain quality (the Adonis type I presume) or they have a female Fb etc to boost their chances and that single women have UNLIMITED value, due to this he's will have a really HARD time swinging w/o a woman...

So what are people's views on this???

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By *ortobello SionnachWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

It sounds like an article written by a man hater as its really not true you don't have to be an Adonis there are some really nice yet ordinary looking guys on here who you are attracted to them as a person well that's my experience.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Broadly speaking I agree. It's just supply and demand, most couples aren't interested in single guys and those that are have a lot to choose from. Of course if he gets a partner then that solves the problem. If I was him then I'd dump the girlfriend too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree that men have a lower value compared to couples and women, in terms of getting meets. This is due to the large numbers of men on the site. At least 10 men to every woman in every area. It's just the way it is and you can still get meets.

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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago

Deep in the New Forest

True... women hold all the cards... then couples. Us guys are the bottom feeders fighting over the scraps

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

There is no right or wrong answer here. Some women who see themselves as hot,above others will only be interested in the Adonis type male. Where others will see the good in average men. But as we all know single men can and do find it hard on here at times. But i think that's more to do with how many meets they've had and with who,as apposed to whether they have a female in tow or not. I haven't always had a partner and was doing fine. I'd even go as far as saying. Now i have a partber it's harder now

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"True... women hold all the cards... then couples. Us guys are the bottom feeders fighting over the scraps "

. Erm...speak for yourself pal lol

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"There is no right or wrong answer here. Some women who see themselves as hot,above others will only be interested in the Adonis type male. Where others will see the good in average men. But as we all know single men can and do find it hard on here at times. But i think that's more to do with how many meets they've had and with who,as apposed to whether they have a female in tow or not. I haven't always had a partner and was doing fine. I'd even go as far as saying. Now i have a partber it's harder now "

Says the Adonis guy

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"Read in an article today about a man who deeply wanted the swinging lifestyle, but his partner didn't and was considering leaving her as he felt to deny his true self wasn't fair for either of them. One comment that was said was - in Swinging the WOMEN rule. Single men have ZERO value unless they are of a certain quality (the Adonis type I presume) or they have a female Fb etc to boost their chances and that single women have UNLIMITED value, due to this he's will have a really HARD time swinging w/o a woman...

So what are people's views on this???"

On Fab I'd say it's relatively accurate. Maybe not zero value though.

In clubs, a lot less so, where people skills can be a greater asset than a six pack.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just an accessory an adornment, a means to an end, an appendage, sad I know but true

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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago

so near and yet so far....


"There is no right or wrong answer here. Some women who see themselves as hot,above others will only be interested in the Adonis type male. Where others will see the good in average men. But as we all know single men can and do find it hard on here at times. But i think that's more to do with how many meets they've had and with who,as apposed to whether they have a female in tow or not. I haven't always had a partner and was doing fine. I'd even go as far as saying. Now i have a partber it's harder now "

Then your partner is worth her weight in gold if she’s making you harder!

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By *agermeisterMan
over a year ago

Leeds

We are quite low on the Fab totem pole but not without worth.

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By *DFL6828Man
over a year ago

Leicester

I totally agree, I believe if your not part of the in crowd, it's very hard to meet anyone on here... I've been on here 10ish years and have probably met 2 or 3 ( if that ) directly from the site. Also unless you have s certain look and I don't, you may as well forget it ..

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

Thats his opinion but i dont agree with it, it helps if both men and women are good looking, but not just looks its about who you are compatable with, your attitude and personality type.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think men have a choice in the scene. They can sit back and have little or no value or they can get out there and prove there worth. Yes there are many more of us than couples / fems. But once a man is established and prepared to show his worth. Equality is achievable

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst


"I think men have a choice in the scene. They can sit back and have little or no value or they can get out there and prove there worth. Yes there are many more of us than couples / fems. But once a man is established and prepared to show his worth. Equality is achievable "

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds


"Read in an article today about a man who deeply wanted the swinging lifestyle, but his partner didn't and was considering leaving her as he felt to deny his true self wasn't fair for either of them. One comment that was said was - in Swinging the WOMEN rule. Single men have ZERO value unless they are of a certain quality (the Adonis type I presume) or they have a female Fb etc to boost their chances and that single women have UNLIMITED value, due to this he's will have a really HARD time swinging w/o a woman...

So what are people's views on this???"

I know my worth. . those that lower their standards, the desperate, thed needy ..they give themselves zero value no one else.

Annoys the hell out of me when folk say ladies hold all the cards they're in a sweet shop yadda yadda.. I and everyone else have exactly the same choices on fab and in the swinging environment as any other gender or demographic..

yes please or no thanks,

the only difference between the genders is the amount of times we might voice those choices.

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By *ickeyandmouseCouple
over a year ago

nr Alicante

It also points to a long debatable point ; are single men swingers ?

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By *offee with MilkCouple
over a year ago

Over the roundabout and then turn right.

We know some guys who are doing rather well. It's all about approach.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"There is no right or wrong answer here. Some women who see themselves as hot,above others will only be interested in the Adonis type male. Where others will see the good in average men. But as we all know single men can and do find it hard on here at times. But i think that's more to do with how many meets they've had and with who,as apposed to whether they have a female in tow or not. I haven't always had a partner and was doing fine. I'd even go as far as saying. Now i have a partber it's harder now

Says the Adonis guy "

Haha..aww thanks. But thats my point too. You see me and think that. Others won't. I don't see myself as that. Yes i know I'm in very good shape but i'm humble with it as personality is just as important. But my point is lost on you as you think I'm an Adonis. You've made my day. I can sleep tonight . Thanks sweet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It also points to a long debatable point ; are single men swingers ?"

Depends on your definition I guess. For me I feel I swing from partner to partner ... worth noting the point isn't gender specific ...

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"There is no right or wrong answer here. Some women who see themselves as hot,above others will only be interested in the Adonis type male. Where others will see the good in average men. But as we all know single men can and do find it hard on here at times. But i think that's more to do with how many meets they've had and with who,as apposed to whether they have a female in tow or not. I haven't always had a partner and was doing fine. I'd even go as far as saying. Now i have a partber it's harder now

Then your partner is worth her weight in gold if she’s making you harder!

"

Haha. Well done to you sweet lol. I'd take the weight of her booty in gold though.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"We are quite low on the Fab totem pole but not without worth."

Shame on you. Take all single guys off the site. It would eventually cease to exist. That's what i believe anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rate single guys highly. They're what I look for and without them my time on fab would have been significantly quieter.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"I totally agree, I believe if your not part of the in crowd, it's very hard to meet anyone on here... I've been on here 10ish years and have probably met 2 or 3 ( if that ) directly from the site. Also unless you have s certain look and I don't, you may as well forget it .."

I agree with you to a point. But how may clubs,socials,parties do you attend. Do you use the forums a lot. If not for them then i don't believe i'd have had as much success as i have up to now. When i say my name in clubs etc. Some will say oh i've seen you in the forums. You get out what you put in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't believe we are bottom of the food chain. In my previous time on here I felt I was very successful, especially for someone that never attended social events or clubs.

There are many couples looking for mfm or mmf, the same with single girls, so there is opportunity. Yes, there are many looking for 'hot guys, gym fit, Adonis types with 10" cocks', so I've always imagined those guys that fit that are in as much demand as couples and single females and can pick and choose. The rest of us mere mortals, perhaps don't get the choice, but in the majority of those I have met from here or elsewhere, I have chosen them too. I have chosen to message or reply.

It is just down to supply and demand. If guys outnumber couples etc, then many will lose out, but that's just life in general.

Many single guys, from reading the forums over the years aren't looking to swing anyway, not prepared to meet couples for example, but without the single there wouldn't be any 3somes of any denomination.

Being able to choose who I message or meet, puts me up there with couples and females, so definitely no bottom feeder here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He will have an even harder time swinging with a woman who doesn't want to.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"I rate single guys highly. They're what I look for and without them my time on fab would have been significantly quieter. "

See. Here you go ha. Think some guys think its going to be easy and it's not until you're established,or always about in chats etc. Get out there guys and let's claim back fab lol.

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By *unkey_DuckCouple
over a year ago

Kingslynn

That's true. Sex comes easier to women. Doesn't matter how ugly or pretty she is, sex comes easier. Men have to work harder or just pay for it. Unless the man is considered super attractive or is famous. If a man is considered very attractive or is famous then sex for those men comes as easy as it does to women. Same thing in the swinging world. Women don't have a hard time getting laid but men do. Unless that man is considered attractive or has a big penis. It sounds like that man in the article is making the mistake a lot of men make when they enter the swinging world. They come into it thinking the swinging world is just one big fuck fest and they can simply turn up and have sex with any woman they choose. Our inbox gets full up with these kinds of men. They think just because i'm here (female speaking) that i'm just here to pleasure them all and some cock hungry whore. Sorry, but it just doesn't work that way. We have standards and have to be attracted to someone. If you are a single male and you want to get anywhere in the swinging world then you must be considered very attractive or have a big penis.

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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago

so near and yet so far....


"There is no right or wrong answer here. Some women who see themselves as hot,above others will only be interested in the Adonis type male. Where others will see the good in average men. But as we all know single men can and do find it hard on here at times. But i think that's more to do with how many meets they've had and with who,as apposed to whether they have a female in tow or not. I haven't always had a partner and was doing fine. I'd even go as far as saying. Now i have a partber it's harder now

Then your partner is worth her weight in gold if she’s making you harder!

Haha. Well done to you sweet lol. I'd take the weight of her booty in gold though. "

Looking at you I’m sure it’s a pleasure she’s willing to give you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single guys are the highest on my list, followed by single ladies

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"I don't believe we are bottom of the food chain. In my previous time on here I felt I was very successful, especially for someone that never attended social events or clubs.

There are many couples looking for mfm or mmf, the same with single girls, so there is opportunity. Yes, there are many looking for 'hot guys, gym fit, Adonis types with 10" cocks', so I've always imagined those guys that fit that are in as much demand as couples and single females and can pick and choose. The rest of us mere mortals, perhaps don't get the choice, but in the majority of those I have met from here or elsewhere, I have chosen them too. I have chosen to message or reply.

It is just down to supply and demand. If guys outnumber couples etc, then many will lose out, but that's just life in general.

Many single guys, from reading the forums over the years aren't looking to swing anyway, not prepared to meet couples for example, but without the single there wouldn't be any 3somes of any denomination.

Being able to choose who I message or meet, puts me up there with couples and females, so definitely no bottom feeder here!"

Preach!!!

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"There is no right or wrong answer here. Some women who see themselves as hot,above others will only be interested in the Adonis type male. Where others will see the good in average men. But as we all know single men can and do find it hard on here at times. But i think that's more to do with how many meets they've had and with who,as apposed to whether they have a female in tow or not. I haven't always had a partner and was doing fine. I'd even go as far as saying. Now i have a partber it's harder now

Then your partner is worth her weight in gold if she’s making you harder!

Haha. Well done to you sweet lol. I'd take the weight of her booty in gold though.

Looking at you I’m sure it’s a pleasure she’s willing to give you x"

Aww. Have you seen a black guy blush? haha. Thank you for the compliment sweet. Not looking bad yourself actually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"True... women hold all the cards... then couples. Us guys are the bottom feeders fighting over the scraps "

Fighting over scraps

Really not sure where to start with that one!

Not a fighter. No interest in scraps.

Maybe I'm just odd

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"That's true. Sex comes easier to women. Doesn't matter how ugly or pretty she is, sex comes easier. Men have to work harder or just pay for it. Unless the man is considered super attractive or is famous. If a man is considered very attractive or is famous then sex for those men comes as easy as it does to women. Same thing in the swinging world. Women don't have a hard time getting laid but men do. Unless that man is considered attractive or has a big penis. It sounds like that man in the article is making the mistake a lot of men make when they enter the swinging world. They come into it thinking the swinging world is just one big fuck fest and they can simply turn up and have sex with any woman they choose. Our inbox gets full up with these kinds of men. They think just because i'm here (female speaking) that i'm just here to pleasure them all and some cock hungry whore. Sorry, but it just doesn't work that way. We have standards and have to be attracted to someone. If you are a single male and you want to get anywhere in the swinging world then you must be considered very attractive or have a big penis. "

Agreed with some not other parts. Attractiveness and penis size is debatable depending who you speak to. What they are to One,they aren't to another so i disagree with that. What's big to you miss?. I'm sure many of the males aren't famous on here either?. Or do you mean fab famous? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can only speak from my point of view... clearly women hold most value... but not being anyone's Adonis... I like to think I have a value... as I have one or two ladies that like what I have to offer... I think maybe guys devalue or undervalue themselves... it is a confidence thing

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

Looking at it from a traditional angle (sorry I'm old) as swinging was really a couples activity which has changed to be more encompassing it's possible that couples have a swinging value and singles more a sexual value?.....not sure....will have to think more about this.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"True... women hold all the cards... then couples. Us guys are the bottom feeders fighting over the scraps

Fighting over scraps

Really not sure where to start with that one!

Not a fighter. No interest in scraps.

Maybe I'm just odd "

Very odd man you are lol

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

I think it's correct that the average bloke has little value in the swinging world as the average bloke has no fucking idea how to approach women in a way that doesn't make them seem like someone on the sex offenders register.

For those men able to talk to women like they human beings rather than walking sex aids, it's possible to have a reasonable degree of success.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"I can only speak from my point of view... clearly women hold most value... but not being anyone's Adonis... I like to think I have a value... as I have one or two ladies that like what I have to offer... I think maybe guys devalue or undervalue themselves... it is a confidence thing "

But confidence comes from life experience no?. If you've been rejected,turned down etc. Then you confidence will be low,right?

I have bags of confidence bcz 90% of the time i succeed in what i've set out to do in all walks of life. So that transfers to here. Without that then you won't survive in here for long without moaning about can't get any meets. Just my opinion

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"Looking at it from a traditional angle (sorry I'm old) as swinging was really a couples activity which has changed to be more encompassing it's possible that couples have a swinging value and singles more a sexual value?.....not sure....will have to think more about this."

What does swinging mean to.you guys?

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"I think it's correct that the average bloke has little value in the swinging world as the average bloke has no fucking idea how to approach women in a way that doesn't make them seem like someone on the sex offenders register.

For those men able to talk to women like they human beings rather than walking sex aids, it's possible to have a reasonable degree of success. "

Ouch! Lol

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds


"True... women hold all the cards... then couples. Us guys are the bottom feeders fighting over the scraps

Fighting over scraps

Really not sure where to start with that one!

Not a fighter. No interest in scraps.

Maybe I'm just odd "

It's the guys who believe they're bottom feeders that perpetuate and propagate this sentiment this belief..say it often enough folk will believe it.

Know your worth guys . I know mine I'm no bottom feeder ..I might nibble a bottom but that's a different story.

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By *ames1763Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

I don't agree with this at all, to look at it like this is not looking deeply, when a diamond is in the mud it looks like an ordinary stone and every woman would pass it by but once that diamond is polished and moves from the mud to the store then every woman begins to jump at it and want it on their finger, it is the same thing here.

The man must move from the mud to the store and then he will immediately turn the tables around. I can tell you from experience that as a guy you don't need any woman to swing once you master the game.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quotas are the obvious answer to all inequalities ...right?

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"True... women hold all the cards... then couples. Us guys are the bottom feeders fighting over the scraps

Fighting over scraps

Really not sure where to start with that one!

Not a fighter. No interest in scraps.

Maybe I'm just odd

It's the guys who believe they're bottom feeders that perpetuate and propagate this sentiment this belief..say it often enough folk will believe it.

Know your worth guys . I know mine I'm no bottom feeder ..I might nibble a bottom but that's a different story. "

#KnowYourWorth. Well said mate. I like this fella

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By *DFL6828Man
over a year ago

Leicester


"I totally agree, I believe if your not part of the in crowd, it's very hard to meet anyone on here... I've been on here 10ish years and have probably met 2 or 3 ( if that ) directly from the site. Also unless you have s certain look and I don't, you may as well forget it ..

I agree with you to a point. But how may clubs,socials,parties do you attend. Do you use the forums a lot. If not for them then i don't believe i'd have had as much success as i have up to now. When i say my name in clubs etc. Some will say oh i've seen you in the forums. You get out what you put in "

Years ago I use to go t a certain club near Cambridge that is no longer their and got pritty well known.. I then took time out due to a Vinilla relationship and the club got closed down so I took time out. I tried to get onto a guest list a few months ago, but got knocked back and I put it down to the way I look. I do use the forum. But not loads, I don't believe in putting stuff on for the sake of it. I am who I am, people either accept for who I am and the way I look, or they don't and major people don't on here . Unless they meet me in a club or party. Then it's different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That article seems to have been crafted to piss off any fella reading it. If it really is the authors opinion then they are welcome to it. I KNOW that I have worth and I choose what I do and do not participate in just as much as anyone else does. It takes two (or three or four, or more as it may be) to consent. Just my opinion of course

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots


"Looking at it from a traditional angle (sorry I'm old) as swinging was really a couples activity which has changed to be more encompassing it's possible that couples have a swinging value and singles more a sexual value?.....not sure....will have to think more about this.

What does swinging mean to.you guys?"

It's a way of thinking about life so not just sex. It's freedom of mind and spirit and a community of people that you can interact with without inhibitions. Have we played with single people....absolutely and that's an addition to our sex lives.....have we played with couples....yes plus there's the added interaction as it's not just about sex.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"I don't agree with this at all, to look at it like this is not looking deeply, when a diamond is in the mud it looks like an ordinary stone and every woman would pass it by but once that diamond is polished and moves from the mud to the store then every woman begins to jump at it and want it on their finger, it is the same thing here.

The man must move from the mud to the store and then he will immediately turn the tables around. I can tell you from experience that as a guy you don't need any woman to swing once you master the game. "

Who has the time to move all stones fromthe dirt in a hope it may be a diamond?. I get what you're saying bro, but it's far from a reliastc approach on fab

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"I think it's correct that the average bloke has little value in the swinging world as the average bloke has no fucking idea how to approach women in a way that doesn't make them seem like someone on the sex offenders register.

For those men able to talk to women like they human beings rather than walking sex aids, it's possible to have a reasonable degree of success.

Ouch! Lol"

I speak from both sides of the divide, as it were. I'd estimate 80% of the messages we get from men as a couple are hopeless. Cock pics, cut and paste messages, one liners, crudity and so on. They really have no idea.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"I totally agree, I believe if your not part of the in crowd, it's very hard to meet anyone on here... I've been on here 10ish years and have probably met 2 or 3 ( if that ) directly from the site. Also unless you have s certain look and I don't, you may as well forget it ..

I agree with you to a point. But how may clubs,socials,parties do you attend. Do you use the forums a lot. If not for them then i don't believe i'd have had as much success as i have up to now. When i say my name in clubs etc. Some will say oh i've seen you in the forums. You get out what you put in

Years ago I use to go t a certain club near Cambridge that is no longer their and got pritty well known.. I then took time out due to a Vinilla relationship and the club got closed down so I took time out. I tried to get onto a guest list a few months ago, but got knocked back and I put it down to the way I look. I do use the forum. But not loads, I don't believe in putting stuff on for the sake of it. I am who I am, people either accept for who I am and the way I look, or they don't and major people don't on here . Unless they meet me in a club or party. Then it's different"

Oh seen. Well i agree with you 100% totally about accept who you are. Shame we still judge on appearance . Even when it comes to clubs. I just think it's out of order. Did you ask why you were knocked back?

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By *unkey_DuckCouple
over a year ago

Kingslynn

My boyfriend has a big penis and it gains a lot of attention from couples, single fems, TV's and single males. So i imagine without his big penis we would get less mail in our inbox.

lol. My point about famous men was if a man is famous then sex in general comes easier to him. Look at how normal men who have never had a girlfriend because they aren't considered attractive, appear on a reality show like Big Brother or something then all of a sudden they can get laid. Fame helps men get laid.

Ofcourse everyone has different tastes and what some find attractive others may not. However, if you are attractive in general you will have an easier time. If your a man that looks like David Beckham, Brad Pitt or George Clooney etc you are going to have a much easier time getting laid than you are if you look like Shrek. Just one of the harsh realities of life.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"Looking at it from a traditional angle (sorry I'm old) as swinging was really a couples activity which has changed to be more encompassing it's possible that couples have a swinging value and singles more a sexual value?.....not sure....will have to think more about this.

What does swinging mean to.you guys?

It's a way of thinking about life so not just sex. It's freedom of mind and spirit and a community of people that you can interact with without inhibitions. Have we played with single people....absolutely and that's an addition to our sex lives.....have we played with couples....yes plus there's the added interaction as it's not just about sex."

Fare enough. But most times these interactions lead to sex yeah?. As that's the end game in many people's idea of swinging no?. Before I found out about this world. I did what i did with who i wanted without inhibitions. Does that mean I've always been a swinger and does that mean most the women i was with were swingers? Lol

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"I think it's correct that the average bloke has little value in the swinging world as the average bloke has no fucking idea how to approach women in a way that doesn't make them seem like someone on the sex offenders register.

For those men able to talk to women like they human beings rather than walking sex aids, it's possible to have a reasonable degree of success.

Ouch! Lol

I speak from both sides of the divide, as it were. I'd estimate 80% of the messages we get from men as a couple are hopeless. Cock pics, cut and paste messages, one liners, crudity and so on. They really have no idea. "

Have you thought why they do that though?. Seriously?

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"I think it's correct that the average bloke has little value in the swinging world as the average bloke has no fucking idea how to approach women in a way that doesn't make them seem like someone on the sex offenders register.

For those men able to talk to women like they human beings rather than walking sex aids, it's possible to have a reasonable degree of success.

Ouch! Lol

I speak from both sides of the divide, as it were. I'd estimate 80% of the messages we get from men as a couple are hopeless. Cock pics, cut and paste messages, one liners, crudity and so on. They really have no idea.

Have you thought why they do that though?. Seriously?"

I suspect because they're not very good at interacting with women.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"I think it's correct that the average bloke has little value in the swinging world as the average bloke has no fucking idea how to approach women in a way that doesn't make them seem like someone on the sex offenders register.

For those men able to talk to women like they human beings rather than walking sex aids, it's possible to have a reasonable degree of success.

Ouch! Lol

I speak from both sides of the divide, as it were. I'd estimate 80% of the messages we get from men as a couple are hopeless. Cock pics, cut and paste messages, one liners, crudity and so on. They really have no idea.

Have you thought why they do that though?. Seriously?

I suspect because they're not very good at interacting with women. "

Not that they maybe have sent 100s of original messages. Got no reply and then thought f@#k it. I may as well send the same to all. Maybe one will reply?. We all know it's not that black and white...c'mon now sweet ha. Give us guys some credit pleeeeeease lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quotas to fix the gender play gap are needed. Where's the social justice?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"True... women hold all the cards... then couples. Us guys are the bottom feeders fighting over the scraps

Fighting over scraps

Really not sure where to start with that one!

Not a fighter. No interest in scraps.

Maybe I'm just odd

It's the guys who believe they're bottom feeders that perpetuate and propagate this sentiment this belief..say it often enough folk will believe it.

Know your worth guys . I know mine I'm no bottom feeder ..I might nibble a bottom but that's a different story. "

Bit like the Joseph Gobbels school of marketing. Repeat the lie often enough and people will start to believe it.

We all have choices. If others believe they are bottom feeders then that's what they become.

Don't believe in your own worth and you won't have any.

Me. I'm just awesome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men of all sorts can have plenty sex via online sites, just not on swinging sites. If the single men went on a dating site and just tried talking normally to women they would not be having any shortage of meets.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds


"I think it's correct that the average bloke has little value in the swinging world as the average bloke has no fucking idea how to approach women in a way that doesn't make them seem like someone on the sex offenders register.

For those men able to talk to women like they human beings rather than walking sex aids, it's possible to have a reasonable degree of success.

Ouch! Lol

I speak from both sides of the divide, as it were. I'd estimate 80% of the messages we get from men as a couple are hopeless. Cock pics, cut and paste messages, one liners, crudity and so on. They really have no idea.

Have you thought why they do that though?. Seriously?

I suspect because they're not very good at interacting with women. "

I have a solution to that problem.. block single guys from messaging and search yourself. Find those who interest you and message them. Problem solved.

From my personal experience the couple's and single ladies who message mes .. mainly comprise of hi or at best a few words.. I know I'm worth more than that

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"Men of all sorts can have plenty sex via online sites, just not on swinging sites. If the single men went on a dating site and just tried talking normally to women they would not be having any shortage of meets."

Not true. Some women like that talk. And it's almost impossible to know that before you message. From my personal experience

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"I think it's correct that the average bloke has little value in the swinging world as the average bloke has no fucking idea how to approach women in a way that doesn't make them seem like someone on the sex offenders register.

For those men able to talk to women like they human beings rather than walking sex aids, it's possible to have a reasonable degree of success.

Ouch! Lol

I speak from both sides of the divide, as it were. I'd estimate 80% of the messages we get from men as a couple are hopeless. Cock pics, cut and paste messages, one liners, crudity and so on. They really have no idea.

Have you thought why they do that though?. Seriously?

I suspect because they're not very good at interacting with women.

I have a solution to that problem.. block single guys from messaging and search yourself. Find those who interest you and message them. Problem solved.

From my personal experience the couple's and single ladies who message mes .. mainly comprise of hi or at best a few words.. I know I'm worth more than that"

And they are usually the ones spouting about make your first message interesting lol. Go figures

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

I only meet single guys and if people are polite , fun and friendly that is genuinely more important to me than being an Adonis or having a large penis.

An average looking guy, with an average dick and a great personality is the ideal match for a meet. I am not a great looked and a bit overweight....so wouldn't feel comfortable with someone with a gym body.

Single guys need to value themselves and get to club's. I think standing out using their profiles and typed messages is much harder than meeting face to face.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"I think it's correct that the average bloke has little value in the swinging world as the average bloke has no fucking idea how to approach women in a way that doesn't make them seem like someone on the sex offenders register.

For those men able to talk to women like they human beings rather than walking sex aids, it's possible to have a reasonable degree of success.

Ouch! Lol

I speak from both sides of the divide, as it were. I'd estimate 80% of the messages we get from men as a couple are hopeless. Cock pics, cut and paste messages, one liners, crudity and so on. They really have no idea.

Have you thought why they do that though?. Seriously?

I suspect because they're not very good at interacting with women.

I have a solution to that problem.. block single guys from messaging and search yourself. Find those who interest you and message them. Problem solved.

From my personal experience the couple's and single ladies who message mes .. mainly comprise of hi or at best a few words.. I know I'm worth more than that"

I am not complaining. We've met some nice men who messaged us. I'm am just constantly amazed at how rubbish some men are at this.

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By *DFL6828Man
over a year ago

Leicester


"I totally agree, I believe if your not part of the in crowd, it's very hard to meet anyone on here... I've been on here 10ish years and have probably met 2 or 3 ( if that ) directly from the site. Also unless you have s certain look and I don't, you may as well forget it ..

I agree with you to a point. But how may clubs,socials,parties do you attend. Do you use the forums a lot. If not for them then i don't believe i'd have had as much success as i have up to now. When i say my name in clubs etc. Some will say oh i've seen you in the forums. You get out what you put in

Years ago I use to go t a certain club near Cambridge that is no longer their and got pritty well known.. I then took time out due to a Vinilla relationship and the club got closed down so I took time out. I tried to get onto a guest list a few months ago, but got knocked back and I put it down to the way I look. I do use the forum. But not loads, I don't believe in putting stuff on for the sake of it. I am who I am, people either accept for who I am and the way I look, or they don't and major people don't on here . Unless they meet me in a club or party. Then it's different

Oh seen. Well i agree with you 100% totally about accept who you are. Shame we still judge on appearance . Even when it comes to clubs. I just think it's out of order. Did you ask why you were knocked back?"

Nope, i work doors for about 6 years. You ask why your knocked back on this seen and it makes you sound needy. And I'm not needy as I'm doing ok away from this site. So I won't try to get on that night again as I normally work on that particular night anyway

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"I totally agree, I believe if your not part of the in crowd, it's very hard to meet anyone on here... I've been on here 10ish years and have probably met 2 or 3 ( if that ) directly from the site. Also unless you have s certain look and I don't, you may as well forget it ..

I agree with you to a point. But how may clubs,socials,parties do you attend. Do you use the forums a lot. If not for them then i don't believe i'd have had as much success as i have up to now. When i say my name in clubs etc. Some will say oh i've seen you in the forums. You get out what you put in

Years ago I use to go t a certain club near Cambridge that is no longer their and got pritty well known.. I then took time out due to a Vinilla relationship and the club got closed down so I took time out. I tried to get onto a guest list a few months ago, but got knocked back and I put it down to the way I look. I do use the forum. But not loads, I don't believe in putting stuff on for the sake of it. I am who I am, people either accept for who I am and the way I look, or they don't and major people don't on here . Unless they meet me in a club or party. Then it's different

Oh seen. Well i agree with you 100% totally about accept who you are. Shame we still judge on appearance . Even when it comes to clubs. I just think it's out of order. Did you ask why you were knocked back?

Nope, i work doors for about 6 years. You ask why your knocked back on this seen and it makes you sound needy. And I'm not needy as I'm doing ok away from this site. So I won't try to get on that night again as I normally work on that particular night anyway "

But do you think that's an ego thing though. I would ask so i know. Don't think it's about being needy etc. I get what you're saying though.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"I think it's correct that the average bloke has little value in the swinging world as the average bloke has no fucking idea how to approach women in a way that doesn't make them seem like someone on the sex offenders register.

For those men able to talk to women like they human beings rather than walking sex aids, it's possible to have a reasonable degree of success.

Ouch! Lol

I speak from both sides of the divide, as it were. I'd estimate 80% of the messages we get from men as a couple are hopeless. Cock pics, cut and paste messages, one liners, crudity and so on. They really have no idea.

Have you thought why they do that though?. Seriously?

I suspect because they're not very good at interacting with women.

Not that they maybe have sent 100s of original messages. Got no reply and then thought f@#k it. I may as well send the same to all. Maybe one will reply?. We all know it's not that black and white...c'mon now sweet ha. Give us guys some credit pleeeeeease lol"

I strongly doubt that some of the guys from whom we get messages have ever sent an original message to anyone.

You can, of course, play the numbers game. Send out an identical message to 100 people and maybe one or two will bite. From personal experience, I would say you're better off finding someone who seems on the same wave length and messaging them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to go to the club's and go for the social side to swinging. I often go on my own as as single male.. I have no preconceptions about playing and If hit happens it happens. I'm not usually disappointed tbh. I get a few private meets with single females and couples .. As a single male it helps if you can accommodate

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"I think it's correct that the average bloke has little value in the swinging world as the average bloke has no fucking idea how to approach women in a way that doesn't make them seem like someone on the sex offenders register.

For those men able to talk to women like they human beings rather than walking sex aids, it's possible to have a reasonable degree of success.

Ouch! Lol

I speak from both sides of the divide, as it were. I'd estimate 80% of the messages we get from men as a couple are hopeless. Cock pics, cut and paste messages, one liners, crudity and so on. They really have no idea.

Have you thought why they do that though?. Seriously?

I suspect because they're not very good at interacting with women.

Not that they maybe have sent 100s of original messages. Got no reply and then thought f@#k it. I may as well send the same to all. Maybe one will reply?. We all know it's not that black and white...c'mon now sweet ha. Give us guys some credit pleeeeeease lol

I strongly doubt that some of the guys from whom we get messages have ever sent an original message to anyone.

You can, of course, play the numbers game. Send out an identical message to 100 people and maybe one or two will bite. From personal experience, I would say you're better off finding someone who seems on the same wave length and messaging them. "

So you think most guys message people who they have no common interest with. If so then they deserve no replies,but I'm sure men aren't that dumb...are they? Lol

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"I think it's correct that the average bloke has little value in the swinging world as the average bloke has no fucking idea how to approach women in a way that doesn't make them seem like someone on the sex offenders register.

For those men able to talk to women like they human beings rather than walking sex aids, it's possible to have a reasonable degree of success.

Ouch! Lol

I speak from both sides of the divide, as it were. I'd estimate 80% of the messages we get from men as a couple are hopeless. Cock pics, cut and paste messages, one liners, crudity and so on. They really have no idea.

Have you thought why they do that though?. Seriously?

I suspect because they're not very good at interacting with women.

Not that they maybe have sent 100s of original messages. Got no reply and then thought f@#k it. I may as well send the same to all. Maybe one will reply?. We all know it's not that black and white...c'mon now sweet ha. Give us guys some credit pleeeeeease lol

I strongly doubt that some of the guys from whom we get messages have ever sent an original message to anyone.

You can, of course, play the numbers game. Send out an identical message to 100 people and maybe one or two will bite. From personal experience, I would say you're better off finding someone who seems on the same wave length and messaging them.

So you think most guys message people who they have no common interest with. If so then they deserve no replies,but I'm sure men aren't that dumb...are they? Lol"

Most of the messages we get from men appear to have no interest in us expect that one of us has a vagina which they'd like to penetrate.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"I think it's correct that the average bloke has little value in the swinging world as the average bloke has no fucking idea how to approach women in a way that doesn't make them seem like someone on the sex offenders register.

For those men able to talk to women like they human beings rather than walking sex aids, it's possible to have a reasonable degree of success.

Ouch! Lol

I speak from both sides of the divide, as it were. I'd estimate 80% of the messages we get from men as a couple are hopeless. Cock pics, cut and paste messages, one liners, crudity and so on. They really have no idea.

Have you thought why they do that though?. Seriously?

I suspect because they're not very good at interacting with women.

Not that they maybe have sent 100s of original messages. Got no reply and then thought f@#k it. I may as well send the same to all. Maybe one will reply?. We all know it's not that black and white...c'mon now sweet ha. Give us guys some credit pleeeeeease lol

I strongly doubt that some of the guys from whom we get messages have ever sent an original message to anyone.

You can, of course, play the numbers game. Send out an identical message to 100 people and maybe one or two will bite. From personal experience, I would say you're better off finding someone who seems on the same wave length and messaging them.

So you think most guys message people who they have no common interest with. If so then they deserve no replies,but I'm sure men aren't that dumb...are they? Lol

Most of the messages we get from men appear to have no interest in us expect that one of us has a vagina which they'd like to penetrate. "

Haha. Fare enough then . Those guys are really doing themselves an injustice then . Good luck to them as they'll need it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally disagree. It's difficult on both sides to find compatible partners. Men may struggle being outnumbered and feeling like they can't get noticed, but women can be inundated with messages and it simply becomes overwhelming and very difficult to talk enough to form a connection.

I personally question whether these men the message are actually interested in me or whether they are interested in anything because their reply rate is low, so maybe they message in bulk and approach some people that are not necessarily top of their list!

Likewise I'll never approach the 'Adonis' men because that's just not my thing and not what I'm attracted to in the real world.

If both sides know their worth in the situation then nobody holds all the cards. It's up to both parties to seek the level of attraction they require both physically and mentally.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"Totally disagree. It's difficult on both sides to find compatible partners. Men may struggle being outnumbered and feeling like they can't get noticed, but women can be inundated with messages and it simply becomes overwhelming and very difficult to talk enough to form a connection.

I personally question whether these men the message are actually interested in me or whether they are interested in anything because their reply rate is low, so maybe they message in bulk and approach some people that are not necessarily top of their list!

Likewise I'll never approach the 'Adonis' men because that's just not my thing and not what I'm attracted to in the real world.

If both sides know their worth in the situation then nobody holds all the cards. It's up to both parties to seek the level of attraction they require both physically and mentally. "

What is your idea of an Adonis sweet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Totally disagree. It's difficult on both sides to find compatible partners. Men may struggle being outnumbered and feeling like they can't get noticed, but women can be inundated with messages and it simply becomes overwhelming and very difficult to talk enough to form a connection.

I personally question whether these men the message are actually interested in me or whether they are interested in anything because their reply rate is low, so maybe they message in bulk and approach some people that are not necessarily top of their list!

Likewise I'll never approach the 'Adonis' men because that's just not my thing and not what I'm attracted to in the real world.

If both sides know their worth in the situation then nobody holds all the cards. It's up to both parties to seek the level of attraction they require both physically and mentally.

What is your idea of an Adonis sweet?"

The guys with amazing bodies that clearly really look after themselves.. I find it a bit intimidating and am more comfortable with slightly more quirky..

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By *DFL6828Man
over a year ago

Leicester


"I totally agree, I believe if your not part of the in crowd, it's very hard to meet anyone on here... I've been on here 10ish years and have probably met 2 or 3 ( if that ) directly from the site. Also unless you have s certain look and I don't, you may as well forget it ..

I agree with you to a point. But how may clubs,socials,parties do you attend. Do you use the forums a lot. If not for them then i don't believe i'd have had as much success as i have up to now. When i say my name in clubs etc. Some will say oh i've seen you in the forums. You get out what you put in

Years ago I use to go t a certain club near Cambridge that is no longer their and got pritty well known.. I then took time out due to a Vinilla relationship and the club got closed down so I took time out. I tried to get onto a guest list a few months ago, but got knocked back and I put it down to the way I look. I do use the forum. But not loads, I don't believe in putting stuff on for the sake of it. I am who I am, people either accept for who I am and the way I look, or they don't and major people don't on here . Unless they meet me in a club or party. Then it's different

Oh seen. Well i agree with you 100% totally about accept who you are. Shame we still judge on appearance . Even when it comes to clubs. I just think it's out of order. Did you ask why you were knocked back?

Nope, i work doors for about 6 years. You ask why your knocked back on this seen and it makes you sound needy. And I'm not needy as I'm doing ok away from this site. So I won't try to get on that night again as I normally work on that particular night anyway

But do you think that's an ego thing though. I would ask so i know. Don't think it's about being needy etc. I get what you're saying though. "

Nope I won't give them the satisfaction. I won't change the way I look, the way I dress ( I can do formal, but don't expect to see me in a suit cos that won't happen) or the way I am to fit in. Tried that when I was a teenager and it never worked. So cut my losses and find somewhere else and it may even turn out a better night.

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By *DFL6828Man
over a year ago

Leicester


"Totally disagree. It's difficult on both sides to find compatible partners. Men may struggle being outnumbered and feeling like they can't get noticed, but women can be inundated with messages and it simply becomes overwhelming and very difficult to talk enough to form a connection.

I personally question whether these men the message are actually interested in me or whether they are interested in anything because their reply rate is low, so maybe they message in bulk and approach some people that are not necessarily top of their list!

Likewise I'll never approach the 'Adonis' men because that's just not my thing and not what I'm attracted to in the real world.

If both sides know their worth in the situation then nobody holds all the cards. It's up to both parties to seek the level of attraction they require both physically and mentally.

What is your idea of an Adonis sweet?

The guys with amazing bodies that clearly really look after themselves.. I find it a bit intimidating and am more comfortable with slightly more quirky.."

So are you saying people without that type of body don't really look after themselves.. I hope not. Just cos some one lifts weight and carries a low percentage body fat. Doesn't make them any better in the fitness than say some one who runs 10k 3 times a week..

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

The thing is, as others have said it's not about value as others see it, but self-worth as the individual person sees it, or perceives it to be, and that can be consciously or sub-consciously - if you set your stall out sparsely decorated and the decoration is distasteful then you're unlikely to attract much interest (and that analogy applies to profiles, messages, forum interaction and several other things).

If you undervalue yourself you'll be undervalued plain and simple.

Much is made of the number imbalance between the various categories on here and is often held up as the reason single men don't get much "success" (and I hate using that word as it makes it sound cheap) - I honestly believe however if you took out those single men that have the wrong approach and attitude, along with false expectations, that the numbers would be a lot more evenly balanced - it still doesn't guarantee anything of course, but there are a lot of single guys on here who DO get it, who DO have the right approach and attitude and who DO do very well - the thing is they tend to go quietly about their business and so the ones that stand out are the ones who place "values" on themselves and blame anything but themselves for their lack of meets and message responses which in turn raises the false perception that single men are low value.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"Totally disagree. It's difficult on both sides to find compatible partners. Men may struggle being outnumbered and feeling like they can't get noticed, but women can be inundated with messages and it simply becomes overwhelming and very difficult to talk enough to form a connection.

I personally question whether these men the message are actually interested in me or whether they are interested in anything because their reply rate is low, so maybe they message in bulk and approach some people that are not necessarily top of their list!

Likewise I'll never approach the 'Adonis' men because that's just not my thing and not what I'm attracted to in the real world.

If both sides know their worth in the situation then nobody holds all the cards. It's up to both parties to seek the level of attraction they require both physically and mentally.

What is your idea of an Adonis sweet?

The guys with amazing bodies that clearly really look after themselves.. I find it a bit intimidating and am more comfortable with slightly more quirky..

So are you saying people without that type of body don't really look after themselves.. I hope not. Just cos some one lifts weight and carries a low percentage body fat. Doesn't make them any better in the fitness than say some one who runs 10k 3 times a week.."

She didn't say fitness at all mate lol. I know pure gym goers that would die if they had to run for bus haha

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"I totally agree, I believe if your not part of the in crowd, it's very hard to meet anyone on here... I've been on here 10ish years and have probably met 2 or 3 ( if that ) directly from the site. Also unless you have s certain look and I don't, you may as well forget it ..

I agree with you to a point. But how may clubs,socials,parties do you attend. Do you use the forums a lot. If not for them then i don't believe i'd have had as much success as i have up to now. When i say my name in clubs etc. Some will say oh i've seen you in the forums. You get out what you put in

Years ago I use to go t a certain club near Cambridge that is no longer their and got pritty well known.. I then took time out due to a Vinilla relationship and the club got closed down so I took time out. I tried to get onto a guest list a few months ago, but got knocked back and I put it down to the way I look. I do use the forum. But not loads, I don't believe in putting stuff on for the sake of it. I am who I am, people either accept for who I am and the way I look, or they don't and major people don't on here . Unless they meet me in a club or party. Then it's different

Oh seen. Well i agree with you 100% totally about accept who you are. Shame we still judge on appearance . Even when it comes to clubs. I just think it's out of order. Did you ask why you were knocked back?

Nope, i work doors for about 6 years. You ask why your knocked back on this seen and it makes you sound needy. And I'm not needy as I'm doing ok away from this site. So I won't try to get on that night again as I normally work on that particular night anyway

But do you think that's an ego thing though. I would ask so i know. Don't think it's about being needy etc. I get what you're saying though.

Nope I won't give them the satisfaction. I won't change the way I look, the way I dress ( I can do formal, but don't expect to see me in a suit cos that won't happen) or the way I am to fit in. Tried that when I was a teenager and it never worked. So cut my losses and find somewhere else and it may even turn out a better night."

I hear you mate.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"The thing is, as others have said it's not about value as others see it, but self-worth as the individual person sees it, or perceives it to be, and that can be consciously or sub-consciously - if you set your stall out sparsely decorated and the decoration is distasteful then you're unlikely to attract much interest (and that analogy applies to profiles, messages, forum interaction and several other things).

If you undervalue yourself you'll be undervalued plain and simple.

Much is made of the number imbalance between the various categories on here and is often held up as the reason single men don't get much "success" (and I hate using that word as it makes it sound cheap) - I honestly believe however if you took out those single men that have the wrong approach and attitude, along with false expectations, that the numbers would be a lot more evenly balanced - it still doesn't guarantee anything of course, but there are a lot of single guys on here who DO get it, who DO have the right approach and attitude and who DO do very well - the thing is they tend to go quietly about their business and so the ones that stand out are the ones who place "values" on themselves and blame anything but themselves for their lack of meets and message responses which in turn raises the false perception that single men are low value."

Case closed. We can all go to another thread now. Well said sir! Lol

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By *DFL6828Man
over a year ago

Leicester


"Totally disagree. It's difficult on both sides to find compatible partners. Men may struggle being outnumbered and feeling like they can't get noticed, but women can be inundated with messages and it simply becomes overwhelming and very difficult to talk enough to form a connection.

I personally question whether these men the message are actually interested in me or whether they are interested in anything because their reply rate is low, so maybe they message in bulk and approach some people that are not necessarily top of their list!

Likewise I'll never approach the 'Adonis' men because that's just not my thing and not what I'm attracted to in the real world.

If both sides know their worth in the situation then nobody holds all the cards. It's up to both parties to seek the level of attraction they require both physically and mentally.

What is your idea of an Adonis sweet?

The guys with amazing bodies that clearly really look after themselves.. I find it a bit intimidating and am more comfortable with slightly more quirky..

So are you saying people without that type of body don't really look after themselves.. I hope not. Just cos some one lifts weight and carries a low percentage body fat. Doesn't make them any better in the fitness than say some one who runs 10k 3 times a week..

She didn't say fitness at all mate lol. I know pure gym goers that would die if they had to run for bus haha"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Totally disagree. It's difficult on both sides to find compatible partners. Men may struggle being outnumbered and feeling like they can't get noticed, but women can be inundated with messages and it simply becomes overwhelming and very difficult to talk enough to form a connection.

I personally question whether these men the message are actually interested in me or whether they are interested in anything because their reply rate is low, so maybe they message in bulk and approach some people that are not necessarily top of their list!

Likewise I'll never approach the 'Adonis' men because that's just not my thing and not what I'm attracted to in the real world.

If both sides know their worth in the situation then nobody holds all the cards. It's up to both parties to seek the level of attraction they require both physically and mentally.

What is your idea of an Adonis sweet?

The guys with amazing bodies that clearly really look after themselves.. I find it a bit intimidating and am more comfortable with slightly more quirky..

So are you saying people without that type of body don't really look after themselves.. I hope not. Just cos some one lifts weight and carries a low percentage body fat. Doesn't make them any better in the fitness than say some one who runs 10k 3 times a week.."

Noooo not at all.. purely referring to the aesthetic of guys with 6 packs and rippling muscles everywhere not being my goal or preference. Nothing to do with fitness levels.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Read in an article today about a man who deeply wanted the swinging lifestyle, but his partner didn't and was considering leaving her as he felt to deny his true self wasn't fair for either of them. One comment that was said was - in Swinging the WOMEN rule. Single men have ZERO value unless they are of a certain quality (the Adonis type I presume) or they have a female Fb etc to boost their chances and that single women have UNLIMITED value, due to this he's will have a really HARD time swinging w/o a woman...

So what are people's views on this???"

Not in our experience, from two former singles who meet at a party organised on fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

DOn't think the OP is right. I used to think people only wanted to Meet us because of Mrs N, then I realized that actually because I still have 31 of my own teeth, A reasonable amount of hair still on top of my head and a Kinky, imaginative personality that it wasn't just Mrs N LOL.

Well 98% is her

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"DOn't think the OP is right. I used to think people only wanted to Meet us because of Mrs N, then I realized that actually because I still have 31 of my own teeth, A reasonable amount of hair still on top of my head and a Kinky, imaginative personality that it wasn't just Mrs N LOL.

Well 98% is her

"

Take the 2% and run like Mr Gump lol. Hair and teeth always equal success haha

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"Totally disagree. It's difficult on both sides to find compatible partners. Men may struggle being outnumbered and feeling like they can't get noticed, but women can be inundated with messages and it simply becomes overwhelming and very difficult to talk enough to form a connection.

I personally question whether these men the message are actually interested in me or whether they are interested in anything because their reply rate is low, so maybe they message in bulk and approach some people that are not necessarily top of their list!

Likewise I'll never approach the 'Adonis' men because that's just not my thing and not what I'm attracted to in the real world.

If both sides know their worth in the situation then nobody holds all the cards. It's up to both parties to seek the level of attraction they require both physically and mentally.

What is your idea of an Adonis sweet?

The guys with amazing bodies that clearly really look after themselves.. I find it a bit intimidating and am more comfortable with slightly more quirky..

So are you saying people without that type of body don't really look after themselves.. I hope not. Just cos some one lifts weight and carries a low percentage body fat. Doesn't make them any better in the fitness than say some one who runs 10k 3 times a week..

Noooo not at all.. purely referring to the aesthetic of guys with 6 packs and rippling muscles everywhere not being my goal or preference. Nothing to do with fitness levels. "

Why do you find them intimidating though sweet. Is it bad you don't think you're on that same level physically and that's why you're not into them in the real world either?. It's an interesting subject. As if someone approached me who i thought wow,they're Adonis',i'd still meet them..as they've shown the interest in me so must lime what they've saw?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Totally disagree. It's difficult on both sides to find compatible partners. Men may struggle being outnumbered and feeling like they can't get noticed, but women can be inundated with messages and it simply becomes overwhelming and very difficult to talk enough to form a connection.

I personally question whether these men the message are actually interested in me or whether they are interested in anything because their reply rate is low, so maybe they message in bulk and approach some people that are not necessarily top of their list!

Likewise I'll never approach the 'Adonis' men because that's just not my thing and not what I'm attracted to in the real world.

If both sides know their worth in the situation then nobody holds all the cards. It's up to both parties to seek the level of attraction they require both physically and mentally.

What is your idea of an Adonis sweet?

The guys with amazing bodies that clearly really look after themselves.. I find it a bit intimidating and am more comfortable with slightly more quirky..

So are you saying people without that type of body don't really look after themselves.. I hope not. Just cos some one lifts weight and carries a low percentage body fat. Doesn't make them any better in the fitness than say some one who runs 10k 3 times a week..

Noooo not at all.. purely referring to the aesthetic of guys with 6 packs and rippling muscles everywhere not being my goal or preference. Nothing to do with fitness levels.

Why do you find them intimidating though sweet. Is it bad you don't think you're on that same level physically and that's why you're not into them in the real world either?. It's an interesting subject. As if someone approached me who i thought wow,they're Adonis',i'd still meet them..as they've shown the interest in me so must lime what they've saw?"

I don't believe that these guys would be attracted to me in the real world so I wouldn't feel confident enough to meet them. For me it's important to have a mutual attraction and I'd doubt that so wouldn't be my usual self.

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

[Removed by poster at 24/10/18 14:54:43]

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

Swinging tends to atract a lot of 'single male' users who think that women are here to gratify them sexually, they won't do well.

Women don't rule exactly. Promiscuous, or at least sexually looking available women, have always done well when it comes to sex coz men tend to like easy. And yes they can be conventionally unattractive because the myth that sexually available women love to please men and will be good at that still exists.

Not really our fault that a misogynistic society perpetuated that myth though is it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The fact that a lot of clubs will only allow women and couples in on a Saturday night makes you realise that men’s value is quite low.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I think it's correct that the average bloke has little value in the swinging world as the average bloke has no fucking idea how to approach women in a way that doesn't make them seem like someone on the sex offenders register.

For those men able to talk to women like they human beings rather than walking sex aids, it's possible to have a reasonable degree of success. "

Sex offenders register

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Men of all sorts can have plenty sex via online sites, just not on swinging sites. If the single men went on a dating site and just tried talking normally to women they would not be having any shortage of meets.

Not true. Some women like that talk. And it's almost impossible to know that before you message. From my personal experience "

Male half here, and I am no great stud, but before meeting my other half I could have met a different woman every day and 90% were up for sex, usually on first meet.

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By *rTouretteMan
over a year ago

Muswell Hill

Numerically, 'the odds are good, but the goods are odd' for a woman

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

In a broad sense men's value of commodities on FAB is low. I think most people (even if they are uncomfortable with such a dehumanised veiw) deep down see this. But on an individual level a lot depends on the man in question. Some men thrive on here and through fab are able to live life more them self. Plus being more honest to him self and getting into the scene he may find a partner/s who want to share this scene with him (if that's what he ultimately seeks).

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"Totally disagree. It's difficult on both sides to find compatible partners. Men may struggle being outnumbered and feeling like they can't get noticed, but women can be inundated with messages and it simply becomes overwhelming and very difficult to talk enough to form a connection.

I personally question whether these men the message are actually interested in me or whether they are interested in anything because their reply rate is low, so maybe they message in bulk and approach some people that are not necessarily top of their list!

Likewise I'll never approach the 'Adonis' men because that's just not my thing and not what I'm attracted to in the real world.

If both sides know their worth in the situation then nobody holds all the cards. It's up to both parties to seek the level of attraction they require both physically and mentally.

What is your idea of an Adonis sweet?

The guys with amazing bodies that clearly really look after themselves.. I find it a bit intimidating and am more comfortable with slightly more quirky..

So are you saying people without that type of body don't really look after themselves.. I hope not. Just cos some one lifts weight and carries a low percentage body fat. Doesn't make them any better in the fitness than say some one who runs 10k 3 times a week..

Noooo not at all.. purely referring to the aesthetic of guys with 6 packs and rippling muscles everywhere not being my goal or preference. Nothing to do with fitness levels.

Why do you find them intimidating though sweet. Is it bad you don't think you're on that same level physically and that's why you're not into them in the real world either?. It's an interesting subject. As if someone approached me who i thought wow,they're Adonis',i'd still meet them..as they've shown the interest in me so must lime what they've saw?

I don't believe that these guys would be attracted to me in the real world so I wouldn't feel confident enough to meet them. For me it's important to have a mutual attraction and I'd doubt that so wouldn't be my usual self."

Are you around those sort if giys on a daily basis though?. Half the people i've met,I probably wouldn't have went for in the real world. Maybe bcz i wouldn't have even been in the same circles etc. In the real world i'm looking more than just sex as per say,and obviously feelings etc come into play. But i'm so glad that i did meet them as some are my good friends now. But i do get what you mean though sweet. So them approaching you on fab,doesn't mean they're attracted to you?. Why did they contact you think then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Evening all...I do think it's a lot harder by far for men to play on swinger's sites but this is mainly down to ratio's as there's more men compared to women and couples but also most men on here don't help it for the genuine one's when they being needy,abusive and not good all round....so there is an element of truth in the above post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Totally disagree. It's difficult on both sides to find compatible partners. Men may struggle being outnumbered and feeling like they can't get noticed, but women can be inundated with messages and it simply becomes overwhelming and very difficult to talk enough to form a connection.

I personally question whether these men the message are actually interested in me or whether they are interested in anything because their reply rate is low, so maybe they message in bulk and approach some people that are not necessarily top of their list!

Likewise I'll never approach the 'Adonis' men because that's just not my thing and not what I'm attracted to in the real world.

If both sides know their worth in the situation then nobody holds all the cards. It's up to both parties to seek the level of attraction they require both physically and mentally.

What is your idea of an Adonis sweet?

The guys with amazing bodies that clearly really look after themselves.. I find it a bit intimidating and am more comfortable with slightly more quirky..

So are you saying people without that type of body don't really look after themselves.. I hope not. Just cos some one lifts weight and carries a low percentage body fat. Doesn't make them any better in the fitness than say some one who runs 10k 3 times a week..

Noooo not at all.. purely referring to the aesthetic of guys with 6 packs and rippling muscles everywhere not being my goal or preference. Nothing to do with fitness levels.

Why do you find them intimidating though sweet. Is it bad you don't think you're on that same level physically and that's why you're not into them in the real world either?. It's an interesting subject. As if someone approached me who i thought wow,they're Adonis',i'd still meet them..as they've shown the interest in me so must lime what they've saw?

I don't believe that these guys would be attracted to me in the real world so I wouldn't feel confident enough to meet them. For me it's important to have a mutual attraction and I'd doubt that so wouldn't be my usual self.

Are you around those sort if giys on a daily basis though?. Half the people i've met,I probably wouldn't have went for in the real world. Maybe bcz i wouldn't have even been in the same circles etc. In the real world i'm looking more than just sex as per say,and obviously feelings etc come into play. But i'm so glad that i did meet them as some are my good friends now. But i do get what you mean though sweet. So them approaching you on fab,doesn't mean they're attracted to you?. Why did they contact you think then?"

I have been several years back when I used to run bars but not these days no.. I think because men outnumber women so drastically some may blanket message and therefore meet some women they'd never be attracted to in real life... I'm sure that works both ways sometimes, but for me, being in the minority isn't necessarily always a good thing.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"Totally disagree. It's difficult on both sides to find compatible partners. Men may struggle being outnumbered and feeling like they can't get noticed, but women can be inundated with messages and it simply becomes overwhelming and very difficult to talk enough to form a connection.

I personally question whether these men the message are actually interested in me or whether they are interested in anything because their reply rate is low, so maybe they message in bulk and approach some people that are not necessarily top of their list!

Likewise I'll never approach the 'Adonis' men because that's just not my thing and not what I'm attracted to in the real world.

If both sides know their worth in the situation then nobody holds all the cards. It's up to both parties to seek the level of attraction they require both physically and mentally.

What is your idea of an Adonis sweet?

The guys with amazing bodies that clearly really look after themselves.. I find it a bit intimidating and am more comfortable with slightly more quirky..

So are you saying people without that type of body don't really look after themselves.. I hope not. Just cos some one lifts weight and carries a low percentage body fat. Doesn't make them any better in the fitness than say some one who runs 10k 3 times a week..

Noooo not at all.. purely referring to the aesthetic of guys with 6 packs and rippling muscles everywhere not being my goal or preference. Nothing to do with fitness levels.

Why do you find them intimidating though sweet. Is it bad you don't think you're on that same level physically and that's why you're not into them in the real world either?. It's an interesting subject. As if someone approached me who i thought wow,they're Adonis',i'd still meet them..as they've shown the interest in me so must lime what they've saw?

I don't believe that these guys would be attracted to me in the real world so I wouldn't feel confident enough to meet them. For me it's important to have a mutual attraction and I'd doubt that so wouldn't be my usual self.

Are you around those sort if giys on a daily basis though?. Half the people i've met,I probably wouldn't have went for in the real world. Maybe bcz i wouldn't have even been in the same circles etc. In the real world i'm looking more than just sex as per say,and obviously feelings etc come into play. But i'm so glad that i did meet them as some are my good friends now. But i do get what you mean though sweet. So them approaching you on fab,doesn't mean they're attracted to you?. Why did they contact you think then?

I have been several years back when I used to run bars but not these days no.. I think because men outnumber women so drastically some may blanket message and therefore meet some women they'd never be attracted to in real life... I'm sure that works both ways sometimes, but for me, being in the minority isn't necessarily always a good thing. "

Oh okay. I do see your point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bullshit perfect your art guys gain control

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Opinions are what they are and everyone is entitled to theirs.

That being said, I completely disagree with the statement that single men have zero value in a swinging /fab context. I'm sure many a lady and couple would also disagree with this if they've met some amazing guys in the scene.

It is true that we vastly outnumber everyone else here and precisely because of this our chances become diminished because of supply and demand, but to equally state that only the adonis types have a shot or some measure of worth is also false and a vast oversimplification. There are many single men on fab that aren't adonis and doing very well. Why? Because physical appearance, while important, is not the be all end all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Largely true. Basically it's supply and demand. Too many men, not enough women. We don't resolve it the traditional way (violence) which is some indication of civilisation (hurrah) so yes, the relative value of men is pretty low. Imagine what it will be like for the poor buggers in China and India where sex-selective abortion has created a generation of spare men. There are serious thinkers (sorry, no reference) who worry that it might cause a lot of. .... violence. *sighs*

Mike xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Male half here, and I am no great stud, but before meeting my other half I could have met a different woman every day and 90% were up for sex, usually on first meet.

"

Yet all you photos are of your partner. Surely that tells us something about perceived values?

Mike xx

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"Male half here, and I am no great stud, but before meeting my other half I could have met a different woman every day and 90% were up for sex, usually on first meet.

Yet all you photos are of your partner. Surely that tells us something about perceived values?

Mike xx"

Can be,but just bcz you have a certain display in your shop window,doesn't mean that the stock inside isn't as valuable. It's just what you think will entice one into he shop. Once they're in then you show them all of what you've got

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I tend to meet male/female couples who want to meet a man so I think I’m quite valued.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I rate single guys highly. They're what I look for and without them my time on fab would have been significantly quieter. "

Thank you

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By *ustful HedonistMan
over a year ago

Worsley, Manchester

I believe that Fab is what YOU make it. Spend time setting up your stall so to speak and you will be noticed, and the more you're noticed the better your chances. I certainly am no Adonis, but I'm certainly no bottom feeder either. I do ok, I use my conversational skills, charm, I have thought about and put a lot of time into my profile, tweak here, tweak there, I treat people well, understand what people generally want, I look from their point of view rather than a horny male's perspective and I read profiles. I've made many many friends over the years, many whom I'm in contact with regularly, and some have come and gone, but the one thing that is the general consensus is that a large proportion of guys here treat women without respect. They seem to see them as purely a fuck, yes its a sex site, but from my experience educated opinion, you do far better using charm and a relaxed approach than you do being crass and forward. You've got to cross first base before you get to second and third so to speak. No woman that I know of looks at sex the same way a man does. For them it's about attraction, compatibility and their general likes and are much more choosy. Men on the other hand are less choosy... And seem to expect women to have the same values, or lack of!

Sow your seeds right and reap the rewards!

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

That’s all I’ve tended to meet since I became a single fem .... I’ve had some fab times with mostly fantastic guys ... there’s been the odd rogue one but I love single guys .,, the majority do what it says on the tin .... the reason I’m here is the single guys ,,,..., you get what you put in to anything in life and it’s the same here ... if your friendly , up for a laugh reliable and don’t take all this seriously then you can have a great time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I simply don’t rate myself at all.

Never thought about it but I’d probably class myself as average.

When I rejoined fab earlier this year. I took the approach of just being myself.

Put more effort when I did message women and couples.

I try not to bother messaging if I have nothing thoughtful to write.

I had 2 couples message me that treated me like I had no worth on here.

But I just say no thank you or ignore them.

I have been told it’s easier in person to meet at clubs, but I’m assuming that’s because others can actually see more so what you are like as person.

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