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So..Should men message first?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Happy Weekend Fabbers,

Just curious to know what you think as to who should message first?

Also what if a female/couple look at me and perhaps fab the odd pic.

Is that a hint to message them?

Why didnt they maybe message me first?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm not a fan of hints so if someone looks and fabs we wouldn't message them and I don't think you should unless you want to.

Some women and couples do message first but I think due to sheer weight of numbers men usually take the initiative.

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath

Only if you want the remotest chance of a reply.

Women who message first tend to be men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Happy Weekend Fabbers,

Just curious to know what you think as to who should message first?

Also what if a female/couple look at me and perhaps fab the odd pic.

Is that a hint to message them?

Why didnt they maybe message me first? "
If you want to get a meet yes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

thats true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will regularly message first if a profile appeals to me, and some of my best meets have come from those.

Im of the thinking that why sit back and wait for the right people to message you? If you see something you like, then go after it in life. Life is too short to pansy around. What's the worst that can happen? People either ignore you or say no thanks. Rejection is no big deal.

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath


"

Some women and couples do message first but I think due to sheer weight of numbers men usually take the initiative."

I think it's down to anthropomorphic behaviour. It's how we're both hardwired

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath


"I will regularly message first if a profile appeals to me, and some of my best meets have come from those.

Im of the thinking that why sit back and wait for the right people to message you? If you see something you like, then go after it in life. Life is too short to pansy around. What's the worst that can happen? People either ignore you or say no thanks. Rejection is no big deal."

You are the exception

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I will regularly message first if a profile appeals to me, and some of my best meets have come from those.

Im of the thinking that why sit back and wait for the right people to message you? If you see something you like, then go after it in life. Life is too short to pansy around. What's the worst that can happen? People either ignore you or say no thanks. Rejection is no big deal."

Life is too short to pansy around, you're right.

How much easier life would be if everyone was clear in their intent.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"Happy Weekend Fabbers,

Just curious to know what you think as to who should message first?

Also what if a female/couple look at me and perhaps fab the odd pic.

Is that a hint to message them?

Why didnt they maybe message me first? "
Yeah generally still old fashioned attitudes men have to do all the work nice to be messaged first though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I will regularly message first if a profile appeals to me, and some of my best meets have come from those.

Im of the thinking that why sit back and wait for the right people to message you? If you see something you like, then go after it in life. Life is too short to pansy around. What's the worst that can happen? People either ignore you or say no thanks. Rejection is no big deal."
me to i agree, what am I agreeing to again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message first if they tick all the boxes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I message first if they tick all the boxes.

"
cmon I've ticked all your boxes six times now

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath


" Yeah generally still old fashioned attitudes men have to do all the work nice to be messaged first though "

Yes, lovely isnt it. Even if just being friendly from afar.

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath


"I message first if they tick all the boxes.

cmon I've ticked all your boxes six times now "

Can you please stop filling her boxes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

yes getting that first message from a women is a great feeling

but 90% of time i feel its men who message first

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

its a shame im a couple years shy of being able to message you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I am looking for playmates and see someone I fancy then I will message first it's how I met my fwb of 2 years. I fab pics I like the look of, doesn't necessarily mean I want to meet them, infact it rarely does as I would only know that if they have a face pic and they rarely do

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By *ouis CyphreMan
over a year ago

The Midlands

Only message people when I'm seriously interested. I have been fortunate and delighted to have first contacts from others. All lovely people

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"Happy Weekend Fabbers,

Just curious to know what you think as to who should message first?

Also what if a female/couple look at me and perhaps fab the odd pic.

Is that a hint to message them?

Why didnt they maybe message me first? "

Always take the initiative

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Women tend to be bombarded (don't criticise me my filters are sky high), so sometimes it's hard to dig your way out from under that to message first.

I'd say looking at a profile means nothing or next to nothing. Fabbing a picture might mean more, but it's no guarantee. I know it's tempting to read things into what we do, but, it's probably best not to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never message first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just message if you want to message - why should there be rules?!

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath


"I never message first. "

How's that working for you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I liked a profile of message first. In fact I already have in here. A guy I fancied from the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Only if you want the remotest chance of a reply.

Women who message first tend to be men "

That's not true though as every meet I've had in about a year has contacted me first, barring one and that particular lady came out on the forums and said she'd quite like me to message her as it was something I didn't usually do? And none of them were blokes lol.

Does it effect the amount of time I spend meeting? Hell no.

I just as a conscious decision never contact anyone first as I know that ladies hate the fact their mailboxes are so rammed. So why add to that problem?

However that will change with a few at least over the next week or two, though only because I'm co-hosting an event next month?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I will regularly message first if a profile appeals to me, and some of my best meets have come from those.

Im of the thinking that why sit back and wait for the right people to message you? If you see something you like, then go after it in life. Life is too short to pansy around. What's the worst that can happen? People either ignore you or say no thanks. Rejection is no big deal."

Completely agree!.... if you see someone you like the look of why would you not send the first message?... also I have my filters so single guys can’t message me first so if someone catches my eye I will happily message first... as you say what’s the worst that can happen??!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will rarelly rather wait tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't message first coz I'm old fashioned.

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By *ortobello SionnachWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

If I like I message them that way I can meet people I like rather than only having the pool of people messaging me I really don't know why so many more don't do this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Only if you want the remotest chance of a reply.

Women who message first tend to be men

That's not true though as every meet I've had in about a year has contacted me first, barring one and that particular lady came out on the forums and said she'd quite like me to message her as it was something I didn't usually do? And none of them were blokes lol.

Does it effect the amount of time I spend meeting? Hell no.

I just as a conscious decision never contact anyone first as I know that ladies hate the fact their mailboxes are so rammed. So why add to that problem?

However that will change with a few at least over the next week or two, though only because I'm co-hosting an event next month? "
I never message first but not for your reasons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it don't bother me messaging a guy first. If you don't ask you don't get lol....if I'm testing the waters then I'd send a wink. However I do fab pics simply because I like them not to get their attention.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I never message first.

How's that working for you?"

Really good get a fair few messages. Mainly through forum use. In all honesty the way im very picky, and so far possibly 5 i can think of on here id meet with, one has messaged me and maybe meeting soon for a social

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe its whom ever sends the first message. It's just curtisy to attatch a face pic. I always do if I ever messsge first. Sadly I can get 20 messages and guaranteed there will be only 2 that have taken the time to read my profile and actually seems a face pic

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By *xtrafun4youMan
over a year ago

Dunstable


"Only if you want the remotest chance of a reply.

Women who message first tend to be men "
Lol I would agree with that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Only message people when I'm seriously interested. I have been fortunate and delighted to have first contacts from others. All lovely people "

I agree, why message when there is no attraction or possibility of meeting? On occasion if a person has great photographs or a well written profile i'll send a compliment even if they live in the Outer Hebrides. Consider your time and others, trolling or getting off on leading people on is such a negative personality trait.

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