FabSwingers.com forum: Rude Fabbers - It's only polite to respond

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To vent a little frustration on a Friday Morning - We have met some amazing Fab couples and indeed developed some really nice friendships and lots of fun - can't wait for our lunch and afternoon and evening of tun today

However, if someone sends a message, a polite yes or no is not too much to ask. They have taken the time to read your profile and whilst you may not to be their taste, please respond to people because then a block starts to narrow the search

We aren't short of messages and winks but we always try to respond

Its just courtesy fabbers !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quoted from Site FAQs :

"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone has obviously read my profile and written something to me personally, I always respond. However, when a random guy just sends me his address or a "u horney" [sic] then I don't feel the need to waste my time responding.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quoted from Site FAQs :

"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To vent a little frustration on a Friday Morning - We have met some amazing Fab couples and indeed developed some really nice friendships and lots of fun - can't wait for our lunch and afternoon and evening of tun today

We aren't short of messages and winks but we always try to respond

Its just courtesy fabbers !"

It’s not rude to delete a message and not reply. Most people take this as a polite no thanks. It is only a minority who can’t take the rejection. You don’t need to preach about how other users use fab - each to their own (as long as abusive messages aren’t being sent).

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By *tace 309TV/TS
over a year ago

durham

I get inundated with messages every day

Sometimes its just not possible to reply to every single one .so I'm not being rude people its just a fact ...I can't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do what works for you and leave the rest to do their thing.

As has already been said, site faq say it's a polite no if you don't get a reply.

I've lost count of the amount of times I've been abused for turning someone down!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quoted from Site FAQs :

"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

It may be ‘site rules’ but I feel it’s rude to ignore messages. I will always try to answer anyone who has written more than an obviously lazy one liner.

I fully accept some people have other things to do with their time. This site can get overwhelming so understand why the rule was added.

I just like to treat others how I personally would like to be treated

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

We aren't short of messages and winks but we always try to respond

Its just courtesy fabbers !"

You conduct your business your way and allow others the same.

When visible my profile states, with no ambiguity the type of playmate I'm looking for. Belt and braces: I even state I won't reply to anyone outwith what I'm looking for.

If they want to waste time contacting me, that's their shout.

I almost envy those who are able to answer every message regardless of whether the other person had taken notice of what they want.

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By *lice AgainTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

I've got this one woman who fabs my photos, winks (more than once) then reads my messages and doesn't reply.

Then repeat... Very odd.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quoted from Site FAQs :

"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

100% agree, well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We aren't short of messages and winks but we always try to respond

Its just courtesy fabbers !"

Its courteous to read the site rules and not condemn those folk who actually follow them

Whilst I'll applaud you for reading profiles first then messaging (I'll assume you only message those profile whereas you match exactly what they're seeking), many others on this site do not.

Rude and ignorant Timewasters do not deserve a reply.

On another note, if attraction isn't there, I'd rather a guy delete and block me. I don't need to read negative messages. The same goes from me towards their messages.

So to make it clear, deleted messages really does mean not interested. Fabs rules, not mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I stopped replying with a polite "no thanks" because of the abuse. others message back politley asking my reasons for the refusal.

I wish there was a wee button you could press with an automatic no thanks

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I stopped replying with a polite "no thanks" because of the abuse. others message back politley asking my reasons for the refusal.

I wish there was a wee button you could press with an automatic no thanks"

Fab did have one and I've been on sites with automatic "no thanks" buttons.

Guess what the number one complaint on the forums were: stuck up bitches who were too rude to answer personally.

You can't win.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I stopped replying with a polite "no thanks" because of the abuse. others message back politley asking my reasons for the refusal.

I wish there was a wee button you could press with an automatic no thanks

Fab did have one and I've been on sites with automatic "no thanks" buttons.

Guess what the number one complaint on the forums were: stuck up bitches who were too rude to answer personally.

You can't win."

And then even when you reply you’ll be called stuck up for saying “no thanks” and not giving them a chance or “you think you’re all that” “you think you’re too good for everyone” etc etc.

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By *andWCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Luton

We aren't short of messages and winks but we always try to respond

Its just courtesy fabbers !"

Totally agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always reply to other couples and we normally reply to single guys but we sometimes don’t bother if it’s an obvious cut and paste and it’s clear that haven’t read the profile. We think that’s fair cos it’s the equivalent of junk mail

When the boot is on the other foot and our message is read and deleted we don't lose sleep over it

As others have said there’s no correct answer just do what you feel is right for you

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

We aren't short of messages and winks but we always try to respond

Its just courtesy fabbers !"

nope sorry....

unless you take the same process in every bit of junk mail that comes thru the door then you are picking and choosing...

i don't think anyone is owed anything.....

the principle i use is that everything is a no until told otherwise.... and i don't see what a "no thanks, but yey, you go champ!" adds to the situation....

it just opens up conversation you would rather not have! "but why not" "whats your problem" "how about we keep talking" ect ect ect............

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I stopped replying with a polite "no thanks" because of the abuse. others message back politley asking my reasons for the refusal.

I wish there was a wee button you could press with an automatic no thanks"

Yeah, too much abuse and attempt to negotiate with me. Can't be doing with it. Sorry if it bothers you, but my need not to be abused trumps regular courtesy rules.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We aren't short of messages and winks but we always try to respond

Its just courtesy fabbers !"

I will forward all our unwanted and unnecessary messages to you and you can respond for us.its just courtesy

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

We aren't short of messages and winks but we always try to respond

Its just courtesy fabbers !

Amen!

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

If I don't reply it'll usually be for one or more of the following reasons, none of which constitute 'rudeness' in my opinion:

1. They've obviously not read my profile

2. The message is ALL about what THEY want to do - any compliant woman would do

3. The message is literally and lazily just one, two or three words

4. The message is long and arguably well written but clearly cut and paste and not remotely personal to me

5. The message is a fishing exercise e.g. 'can I ask you something?'

6. The message is extremely vile and/or abusive

All of the above is what *I* consider to be a rude approach so I feel no guilt about deleting them.

Alternatively, there are times I'm afraid when real life gets in the way - illness, work, family etc - and genuine messages might get mass deleted if I have too many to realistically cope with - or, they drop off the page unseen. I'd never expect anyone else to prioritise Fab over their actual life so don't see this as me doing anything wrong.

And what I would say, is that only a tiny percentage of my mail falls outside points 1 to 6 anyway sad to say ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We aren't short of messages and winks but we always try to respond

Its just courtesy fabbers !

nope sorry....

unless you take the same process in every bit of junk mail that comes thru the door then you are picking and choosing...

i don't think anyone is owed anything.....

the principle i use is that everything is a no until told otherwise.... and i don't see what a "no thanks, but yey, you go champ!" adds to the situation....

it just opens up conversation you would rather not have! "but why not" "whats your problem" "how about we keep talking" ect ect ect............"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seriously, who actually receives messages?.... surely they're a myth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I stopped reply. The reasons why is I would get messages back which then gave me more messages to deal with. Anything from abuse messages to messages thanking me for replying to messages or even begging messages. So now I just don't bother

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

I still can't understand why people want a message saying "sorry I don't fancy you".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm one of the polite ones who replies to all my messages (eventually), and I have only had 1 rude reply back in 6 years. I u give them a chance to say thanks for the reply or whatever, and then block.

I don't know why I don't get the abusive messages that so many women receive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seriously, who actually receives messages?.... surely they're a myth.

I'm sure some do, now put some pants on

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By *adlyDeeplyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

We aren't short of messages and winks but we always try to respond

Its just courtesy fabbers !"

If we get an articulate message which has clearly been thought through and has taken time to write, we would always reply. But often they are not and simply get deleted..

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Seriously, who actually receives messages?.... surely they're a myth.

I'm sure some do, now put some pants on"

*snort*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quoted from Site FAQs :

"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

the website could limit the daily messaged and make you pass a quiz (show some distracting squirrel or titty pictures for added confusion)

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By *uicylucy76Woman
over a year ago

thornton cleveleys

I’m sorry but I bulk delete.. I’m sorry if this is rude in your eyes but I don’t have time to read all messages never mind reply to each one. I may read a message that catches my eye or a profile pic.

I mainly have a circle of friends I talk to so if they haven’t sent a message I just delete the lot.

I thought it was up to me how I ran my messages. We’re all adults, I’m sure we can handle a message being deleted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you reply to some, you get hurled with abuse because they can’t handle rejection. We don’t reply to everyone for this very reason. When I was a single fem the amount of abuse I got for saying no was unreal. What I don’t understand is why people feel they deserve a reply? Why have some people become so self entitled? Just accept they’re not interested and move on.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Quoted from Site FAQs :

"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

the website could limit the daily messaged and make you pass a quiz (show some distracting squirrel or titty pictures for added confusion)"

Maybe a quiz on polite messaging for adults to up your daily messaging quota (not, reply to messages, but, be polite and friendly, don't jump to graphic immediately, consider what the recipient wants, etc)

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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

"I get inundated with messages every day

Sometimes its just not possible to reply to every single one .so I'm not being rude people its just a fact ...I can't "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good thread, now at least I know a no response was a polite “no thanks”

Didn’t know it was site rules.....

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By *DKinkyJenTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

After the countless messages I receive that are from people who just view my pics and don’t read the profile I feel I have every right to delete messages from those who have ignored my clearly profile information.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It also breaks future message filters. I still sometimes get messages from people I was polite to six months ago. "I know your profile says not looking for single guys, but if you don't try you don't get..." I mean that's an instant block, but if I hadn't been polite in the first place it wouldn't have happened.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually think it’s a little entitled to think it’s rude to not reply. You have no idea what’s happening at the other end. A message is a request not an order.

Also, we don’t know what you are putting in your messages, and like some of the other women here, there are things that I find out rude that are commonplace, but what u find rude is subjective and will be fine to others. From couples, I find being treated like a commodity rather than a person (“it’s our fantasy to find a unicorn”) and not really asking about me a little rude, for other women simply being a fantasy to someone will be a turn on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean...yeah sometimes a reply is too much to ask lol.

Everyone else has already quoted the fab FAQ so I don’t need to. I have a print screen of it on my phone to send to those who get abusive once I’ve not replied. I’ll then block them. Seem to get abuse either way, replying or not.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I mean...yeah sometimes a reply is too much to ask lol.

Three things are sure in life. Death, taxes, abuse on Fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the site FAQ said people had to jump off a cliff.............

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I mean...yeah sometimes a reply is too much to ask lol.

Three things are sure in life. Death, taxes, abuse on Fab. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We aren't short of messages and winks but we always try to respond

Its just courtesy fabbers !"

I agree. I have a set reply I use. It's easy to copy & paste. Haven't had abuse in ages. Mostly nice "thank you for letting me know" messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm one of the polite ones who replies to all my messages (eventually), and I have only had 1 rude reply back in 6 years. I u give them a chance to say thanks for the reply or whatever, and then block.

I don't know why I don't get the abusive messages that so many women receive.

We also reply to all messages (don't get that many) We have only ever had one dodgy reply

I think- if its written in your profile that you won't reply to messages saying whatever you Don't want to hear or that a "no reply" means no thanks- people shouldn't get shitty or moan about lack of manners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reply to messages unless there from profiles with no content, obviously haven’t read my profile, send a dick or ass picture instead of a face one or are the “nice cock” type.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I got abuse for "sorry, on hiatus, I'm suddenly in hospital" said in fuller words and much more apologetically fwiw. I don't know why I get abuse and others don't, but I do, so I choose to protect myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got abuse for "sorry, on hiatus, I'm suddenly in hospital" said in fuller words and much more apologetically fwiw. I don't know why I get abuse and others don't, but I do, so I choose to protect myself. "

I’ve had that! Especially recently. The first line in my profile says I’m not meeting due to health issues and apparently that’s just an excuse. Think I’d rather be out there getting fucked rather than bed bound

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If the site FAQ said people had to jump off a cliff............."

It's not an actual rule. The rules can get you a ban.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Oh indeed. According to some I did it to hurt them. Sure MrBigBallz (apologies if this user actually exists), I totally put myself through agony, fucking up my life, 2+ year recovery time to the extent that I recover... to stop you getting laid. I care that much about you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would rather assume someone is not interested by getting no reply than get one back that says no thanks.

I don’t blame people for not responding, I once had a single female profile on here with filters on and without adding a photo I received somewhere in the region of 300 messages within the first hour, I swiftly closed it down I take my hat off to anyone who can manage that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Originally thought it rude when deleted without reply, but now understanding the amount of messages and obnoxious replies users receive accept it,have even done it myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I came on this morning I had 32 new mails. All of them from men. I'm looking for ff play only, quite clearly states that on my profile!

You're right I certainly didn't reply to all of them. I replied to the ones who put a bit of thought in and the rest were deleted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I came on this morning I had 32 new mails. All of them from men. I'm looking for ff play only, quite clearly states that on my profile!

You're right I certainly didn't reply to all of them. I replied to the ones who put a bit of thought in and the rest were deleted. "

Hey galllllll!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey beautiful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey beautiful

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

We aren't short of messages and winks but we always try to respond

Its just courtesy fabbers !"

It maybe courtesy, but I have a life & 4 jobs.

I do try to reply to polite messages, but some days, I'd need to be able to pause time to fit everything in.

So the delete button is my friend

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By *iberatedPairCouple
over a year ago

Suffolk

"When I came on this morning I had 32 new mails. All of them from men. I'm looking for ff play only, quite clearly states that on my profile!

You're right I certainly didn't reply to all of them. I replied to the ones who put a bit of thought in and the rest were deleted. "

Block them it sounds like it might be a sensible move

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never expect a reply so if I get one it's a great bonus.

Unfortunately many people get too much attention to consider to reply.

Take the no response as a no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We aren't short of messages and winks but we always try to respond

Its just courtesy fabbers !"

Courtesy is people reading your profile and establishing if they actually meet your requirements.

If they still send a message when they are not what you are after,there is no requirement for courtesy back.

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By *anilla no kinkWoman
over a year ago

plymouth

I can be polite and reply “ no thank you I’m not interested “ and then I’ll get a message back asking why .So I’ve found it quicker just to read and delete then the unwanted “ why” messages don’t occur .Sorry if that offends anyone but it saves time x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would be a lot better if Fab didn't show sent messages and blocked you from sending another message until:

a. The first message has been read

b. You tick a box that says "Do you accept futher messages from this sender"

That way you have to actively unblock someone, rather than block those who repeat message.

Because less face it, no one reads a warning saying you have already sent a message and not got a reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It would be a lot better if Fab didn't show sent messages and blocked you from sending another message until:

a. The first message has been read

b. You tick a box that says "Do you accept futher messages from this sender"

That way you have to actively unblock someone, rather than block those who repeat message.

Because less face it, no one reads a warning saying you have already sent a message and not got a reply."

Ooooo

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

"Quoted from Site FAQs :

"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

It may be ‘site rules’ but I feel it’s rude to ignore messages. I will always try to answer anyone who has written more than an obviously lazy one liner.

I fully accept some people have other things to do with their time. This site can get overwhelming so understand why the rule was added.

I just like to treat others how I personally would like to be treated "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It would be a lot better if Fab didn't show sent messages and blocked you from sending another message until:

a. The first message has been read

b. You tick a box that says "Do you accept futher messages from this sender"

That way you have to actively unblock someone, rather than block those who repeat message.

Because less face it, no one reads a warning saying you have already sent a message and not got a reply."

Definitely A!

There’d be a lot less of these “Why no reply” threads and a lot less abuse if sent messages weren’t shown I think.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"If the site FAQ said people had to jump off a cliff............."

Conversely, if the site faq stated you had to reply to every message...

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

We aren't short of messages and winks but we always try to respond

Its just courtesy fabbers !

I agree. I have a set reply I use. It's easy to copy & paste. Haven't had abuse in ages. Mostly nice "thank you for letting me know" messages.

If I state I'm looking for a tall sub in London and I'm contacted by a dom leprechaun from Dublin, I'll not lose sleep if I'm thought rude for not replying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If the site FAQ said people had to jump off a cliff.............

Conversely, if the site faq stated you had to reply to every message..."

....Fab would be a happier place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We aren't short of messages and winks but we always try to respond

Its just courtesy fabbers !

I agree. I have a set reply I use. It's easy to copy & paste. Haven't had abuse in ages. Mostly nice "thank you for letting me know" messages.

If I state I'm looking for a tall sub in London and I'm contacted by a dom leprechaun from Dublin, I'll not lose sleep if I'm thought rude for not replying.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I don't know why I don't get the abusive messages that so many women receive.

We also reply to all messages (don't get that many) We have only ever had one dodgy reply

Exactly!

Some people have ambiguous profiles and no fliters then complain about being inundated. Some are very popular, have filters and would spend wasted time writing to all and sundry with no time to actually arrange a fuck.

If people dropped the entitlement and recognised they don't have universal appeal they'd enjoy fab more I think.

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By *.H.SMan
over a year ago

London

wow well said......no reply i dont take it heart cant be perfect adonis for everyone. there loss not yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We aren't short of messages and winks but we always try to respond

Its just courtesy fabbers !"

Yes sadly it’s this! I have several hundred unread mesgs in my inbox that I’ve not managed to get time to look at (and I’m on here a fair bit). I do respond to everything I read tho (unless it’s abusive) x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just had a great example.

A guy messaged us with a pic are we interested in a meet.

Polite response no thanks and did you read our profile

He responds with yes but he thought he’d chance his arm and are we interested

We respond no thanks and bye

So we get another message full of abuse and are blocked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just had a great example.

A guy messaged us with a pic are we interested in a meet.

Polite response no thanks and did you read our profile

He responds with yes but he thought he’d chance his arm and are we interested

We respond no thanks and bye

So we get another message full of abuse and are blocked

Obviously wasn't a single man that uses the forums.

From what i have learnt they all read profiles,tailor their message to each individual profile,are always courteous and polite,and generally good eggs all round

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just had a great example.

A guy messaged us with a pic are we interested in a meet.

Polite response no thanks and did you read our profile

He responds with yes but he thought he’d chance his arm and are we interested

We respond no thanks and bye

So we get another message full of abuse and are blocked

Obviously wasn't a single man that uses the forums.

From what i have learnt they all read profiles,tailor their message to each individual profile,are always courteous and polite,and generally good eggs all round

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seriously, who actually receives messages?.... surely they're a myth.

I'm sure some do, now put some pants on

*snort*"

Always commando. It's a way of life.

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By *eenherebeforeMan
over a year ago

LONDON

I read profiles and am polite but am very used to receiving sweet fanny Adams in responses

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

If you want to take over my Fabmin and reply to every single entitled, plonker waving numpty that messages me, I'd be glad of the help

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"If the site FAQ said people had to jump off a cliff.............

Conversely, if the site faq stated you had to reply to every message...

....Fab would be a happier place.

No it wouldn't, not for most of us single ladies. A lot of us would leave due to abuse, why not, worth a try. It's not gender specific, I've had this from men, women and couples. I've had a couples profile before and had far less of it on there, because there was another man with access to the account there was far less of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We'll l always try and respond to messages if the man has taken the trouble to properly read our profile and respond accordingly.. Unfortunately at least half don't and either don't send a pic or just send a "how are you" or both.. We just delete those..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We aren't short of messages and winks but we always try to respond

Its just courtesy fabbers !"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its just courtesy fabbers !"

No.

No it isn't, but it may be in other circumstances....

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

You guys are all talking about messages.

What's a message?

I thought Platinum members were guaranteed 10 a day.

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