FabSwingers.com forum: Confidence

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Morning everyone,

After having the most delicious chat with my hubbie I got thinking.... why do I lack such confidence?

I was wondering what tips everyone has we could all share and learn from, whether about loving your inner self etc... or posing a certain way in pics.... or what to do when all eyes on are you ( I would love to have loads of men wank over me but am absolutely terrified too- I even hated peeps looking at me on my wedding day- nuts eh?).?

Trust me- I’m not posting this in self pity but to see if we can reach out to each other. As I admire all those ladies and men who have the confidence to post pics etc ( and they look so damn good).

What helps you with your confidence?

Mrs P x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Morning everyone,

After having the most delicious chat with my hubbie I got thinking.... why do I lack such confidence?

What helps you with your confidence?

Mrs P x"

My first master was amazing. I'd lived so many years believing I was fat and unfuckable (Thanks to an ex). It took him time, but he showed me how beautiful I was and how sexy I was, how much he desired me and that any man would be grateful to be with me. I started wearing sexy undies again. Knowing what I had on underneath made me smile. Whenever my confidence needs a boost I remember him and remind myself of who I am and how far I've come. I know it is different for other people. It doesn't come overnight. But I'm sure you'll find something to help.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Morning everyone,

After having the most delicious chat with my hubbie I got thinking.... why do I lack such confidence?

What helps you with your confidence?

Mrs P x

Morning Sexysubminx

Great name!

Thanks for your message.

It’s great to have a real man isn’t it who builds you up? You’re very lucky to be able to reflect on those as good times too.

So what your saying is- find a time when I/ we have felt good in our lives and think why? Then remind yourself of why regularly?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Morning everyone,

After having the most delicious chat with my hubbie I got thinking.... why do I lack such confidence?

What helps you with your confidence?

Mrs P x

Morning Sexysubminx

Great name!

Thanks for your message.

It’s great to have a real man isn’t it who builds you up? You’re very lucky to be able to reflect on those as good times too.

So what your saying is- find a time when I/ we have felt good in our lives and think why? Then remind yourself of why regularly?

Xx"

Exactly.

By the way you look stunning in the pictures you have posted. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it can be dangerous to build your self confidence around the view that others have of you, yet self confidence, or, at least the lack of it, is tightly embedded within your social world.

I'd say that you first need to know yourself. Knowing yourself is the key. If, for instance, you know that you don't want to feel like a disposable sexual commodity, you need to take more time before getting intimate with a person.

I'd then say that you also need to stop comparing yourself with others. Hard but if you can do that, your self confidence regarding your body size, wouldn't be impacted for example.

Ps: using the 'you' in a general sense, not talking abt you op.

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By *.H.SMan
over a year ago

London

hear you find some men lack that vision to fill your potential looks clothing etc some dont even have the time think about it you get there one day at a time

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

So many suffer with confidence you're not alone by far.

Mrs P finally felt brave enough to wear the outfit in our profile picture to a club a couple of weeks back the reaction was very positive. Every head turned and she nearly took it off countless times before going out.

Being happy with who you are oozes out of you. If you don't like something about yourself then endeavour to change it, if you can't change it then except it's you and that's who you are.

You look gorgeous particularly in your profile picture. But sexy starts with you, you have to feel it too. Those women that find their inner happiness jump straight up the sexy scale and it starts with acceptance.

Fake it for an evening in a club pretend you are uber confident. I bet the reaction will surprise you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"hear you find some men lack that vision to fill your potential looks clothing etc some dont even have the time think about it you get there one day at a time"

Yes- thankfully , I have the BEST supporter at home -

But I guess this environment breeds the quick ‘fix’ if that’s what you’re after?

We clearly state on our profile that we’re not. We want friendship and a relationship before you even get a sniff...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it can be dangerous to build your self confidence around the view that others have of you, yet self confidence, or, at least the lack of it, is tightly embedded within your social world.

I'd then say that you also need to stop comparing yourself with others. Hard but if you can do that, your self confidence regarding your body size, wouldn't be impacted for example.

Ps: using the 'you' in a general sense, not talking abt you op.

I love this.

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By *acktar74Man
over a year ago

leeds

Just following this with interest as some amazing advice given already.

OP I am sure you will get to the place you want to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it can be dangerous to build your self confidence around the view that others have of you, yet self confidence, or, at least the lack of it, is tightly embedded within your social world.

I'd then say that you also need to stop comparing yourself with others. Hard but if you can do that, your self confidence regarding your body size, wouldn't be impacted for example.

Ps: using the 'you' in a general sense, not talking abt you op.

I love this."

Me too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So many suffer with confidence you're not alone by far.

Being happy with who you are oozes out of you. If you don't like something about yourself then endeavour to change it, if you can't change it then except it's you and that's who you are.

Fake it for an evening in a club pretend you are uber confident. I bet the reaction will surprise you

Always going to love a fellow Mrs P!

And damn- yes- you look great in that dress! Did it come off in the club ?

Great advice... I wonder if we fake it enough we would believe it? Or not???

Mrs P2 x

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"So many suffer with confidence you're not alone by far.

Being happy with who you are oozes out of you. If you don't like something about yourself then endeavour to change it, if you can't change it then except it's you and that's who you are.

Fake it for an evening in a club pretend you are uber confident. I bet the reaction will surprise you

Always going to love a fellow Mrs P!

And damn- yes- you look great in that dress! Did it come off in the club ?

Great advice... I wonder if we fake it enough we would believe it? Or not???

Mrs P2 x"

It definitely did come off lol

We had a great night with a couple that we have wanted to play with for a long time

Every head turned in the club that night and the compliments were repeated time and again. What choice is there but to believe?

When you get to that place a lot of other people believe too

Sexy is an attitude not a look that's the secret

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So many suffer with confidence you're not alone by far.

Being happy with who you are oozes out of you. If you don't like something about yourself then endeavour to change it, if you can't change it then except it's you and that's who you are.

Fake it for an evening in a club pretend you are uber confident. I bet the reaction will surprise you

Always going to love a fellow Mrs P!

And damn- yes- you look great in that dress! Did it come off in the club ?

Great advice... I wonder if we fake it enough we would believe it? Or not???

Mrs P2 x

It definitely did come off lol

We had a great night with a couple that we have wanted to play with for a long time

Every head turned in the club that night and the compliments were repeated time and again. What choice is there but to believe?

When you get to that place a lot of other people believe too

Sexy is an attitude not a look that's the secret

MUST work on that! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I lack terrible confidence, hard to believe with the photos I put up but I take tons of photo just to get one that looks ok. I suffer Body Dismorphia, I have since i was 17 yrs old. Overt the yrs I've started to feel a little sexier but that's down to some of the attention I get of men hete and other sites. Yes most want a quick fuck so they will say anything but a few have been genuine. Some people think I can just become confident with s click of a finger. I won't even ask a man to meet for fear of rejection. I actually think that low of myself. I don't know what the answer is tbh but I try everyday to like what ive got. My goal is to look in a mirror and like whst I see x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I got divorced my self esteem was at an all time low. I never thought anyone would look at me and I never felt I would be able to get undressed in front of any other women let alone a group of people.

When I met someone and we joined Fab I kept looking at women's verifications from guys and then looking at the guy's photos. It really didn't make me feel any better at all.

All I saw were gym fit bodies and ripped abbs.

When we did go to club's we would play just with each other in private rooms.

After a while there was a point when I began not to give a fuck.

I walked around with little clothing thinking that if people didn't like what they see then they can look at others. As my confidence grew in myself and lost more inhibitions I realised how silly it was to just think of myself in terms of my body shape.

I don't embrace my dad bod but it doesn't define who I am.

My body was letting me down but everything else was good. As I met more people my self esteem and confidence grew.

I wouldn't think twice about walking around naked now.

People can judge all they like, as a matter of fact I feel that as long as they are judging me they are acknowledging my being.

I felt hidden for a long while and now I'm saying , here I am world. I am a person and not just a single full time dad. I am a sexual being and proud of myself.

It's not always easy, sometimes just a glimpse in a mirror brings home how stupid I look naked. Fortunately in a club there are far more interesting views to look at than myself in a mirror.

So I bite the bullet and couldn't care less about how I look.

What I do know is that the more confident I became the more people I met and everyone has their hangups.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'In a society that profits from your self-doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.' -unknown-

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A great philosopher wrote a saying that should govern everyone's life.

What if I said, "fuck it!"

As others have already said. This is about you and nobody else. Only you can change.

Less about what others think and want. Hence the "fuck it!" attitude.

I wear what I wear for me and nobody else. I wear it when and where I like, whenever I want to. I am fabulous and fuck everybody else.

It can sound a bit self centred, I admit, and it is difficult to not care about being judged, however once you embrace your inner self and throw cautions to the wind. Nobody can touch you or your confidence...

PS you are stunning!! You got it girlfriend!! You flaunt it....!!!

Mistress Amelia x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I lack terrible confidence, hard to believe with the photos I put up but I take tons of photo just to get one that looks ok. I suffer Body Dismorphia, I have since i was 17 yrs old. Overt the yrs I've started to feel a little sexier but that's down to some of the attention I get of men hete and other sites. Yes most want a quick fuck so they will say anything but a few have been genuine. Some people think I can just become confident with s click of a finger. I won't even ask a man to meet for fear of rejection. I actually think that low of myself. I don't know what the answer is tbh but I try everyday to like what ive got. My goal is to look in a mirror and like whst I see x"

I think you need to give yourself more credit. The fact that you find some pics you do like (and post on your profile), means you do like what you see sometimes.

That's self confidence and I think you should give yourself credit for that. No-one is ever 100% happy with how they look. Even supermodels have bits they don't like.

I think there is no 'answer' to search for- you're already there but don't realise it. Hope that makes sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A great philosopher wrote a saying that should govern everyone's life.

What if I said, "fuck it!"

As others have already said. This is about you and nobody else. Only you can change.

Less about what others think and want. Hence the "fuck it!" attitude.

I wear what I wear for me and nobody else. I wear it when and where I like, whenever I want to. I am fabulous and fuck everybody else.

PS you are stunning!! You got it girlfriend!! You flaunt it....!!!

Mistress Amelia x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Enjoying yourself and knowing what you want will help your confidence grown and of course an understanding that we are all different and all have confidence issues at times and aspects of ourselves that we are less confident about. For example there are certain parts of my body that I’m not confident about but I buy underwear which hides those areas and accentuates the bits I do like, which improves my confidence further x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When I got divorced my self esteem was at an all time low. I never thought anyone would look at me and I never felt I would be able to get undressed in front of any other women let alone a group of people.

When I met someone and we joined Fab I kept looking at women's verifications from guys and then looking at the guy's photos. It really didn't make me feel any better at all.

All I saw were gym fit bodies and ripped abbs.

When we did go to club's we would play just with each other in private rooms.

After a while there was a point when I began not to give a fuck.

I don't embrace my dad bod but it doesn't define who I am.

My body was letting me down but everything else was good. As I met more people my self esteem and confidence grew.

I wouldn't think twice about walking around naked now.

People can judge all they like, as a matter of fact I feel that as long as they are judging me they are acknowledging my being.

I felt hidden for a long while and now I'm saying , here I am world. I am a person and not just a single full time dad. I am a sexual being and proud of myself.

It's not always easy, sometimes just a glimpse in a mirror brings home how stupid I look naked. Fortunately in a club there are far more interesting views to look at than myself in a mirror.

So I bite the bullet and couldn't care less about how I look.

What I do know is that the more confident I became the more people I met and everyone has their hangups. "

What a fantastically positive post.some great reflective points...

Mrs P x

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