FabSwingers.com forum: Unannounced Arrival

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s a major no. What on Earth is he thinking!?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What have either of you said to him since x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only attend or play if invited. That’s my way of thinking

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is part of the reason we don't accommodate single guys xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???"
he was accepted at least once so you made him feel it was acceptable

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ngelina4uWoman
over a year ago

Camberley/Middleton

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???"

That is the big issue with inviting people round I won't do it unless I know where they live too as its only fair and could do a return visit to theirs if they played that game.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *W1967Man
over a year ago

South Leicestershire

That is so unacceptable. It would seem tantamount to stalking, which people can be prosecuted for, though you may not want to go down that route. I would message him putting it very bluntly that he isn't welcome anymore under any circumstances and intimate further visits and you may go down that route.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

surely it's common sense and good manners to wait for an invite? maybe either say positively that you'll let them know when you want another visit or state that any uninvited arrivals or spontaneous visits won't be tolerated and reported to the police for stalking or harassment.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won’t even randomly land on my friends or family’s doorstep without atleast a courtesy phone call!

Jesus!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's happened to me. I "evicted", blocked and thought that was it.

He's since created about dozen new profiles, using the same photo, and tried to contact me again; he immediately gets blocked. Very perturbing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???he was accepted at least once so you made him feel it was acceptable "

That sort of comment apportions blame to those who do the inviting.

It is not their fault at all and it certainly isn't an invitation to pop round whenever he needs to pop his cork.

I'd be concerned about your views on being hosted if you think that, by being invited round, thats a green light to intrude on someone's personal space.

Twat.

Unless you mis-phrased it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is part of the reason we don't accommodate single guys xx"

Yup agree

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Yeah that's not on one bit. I was out shopping with my kid's one Saturday morning and received a text to say I've just knocked on yours,but you're out.

Thankfully for you idiot I was,I wasn't impressed one bit.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???he was accepted at least once so you made him feel it was acceptable "
but he had no right turning up unexpected. That's really freaky and creepy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never ever shit where you sleep

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I won’t even randomly land on my friends or family’s doorstep without atleast a courtesy phone call!

Jesus!! "

I never phone my friends or family before I go to theirs lol they don't phone me either x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enatton2Couple
over a year ago

West Midlands

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???"

This is why we never accom

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never ever shit where you sleep"

This

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

"I won’t even randomly land on my friends or family’s doorstep without atleast a courtesy phone call!

Jesus!! "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???he was accepted at least once so you made him feel it was acceptable but he had no right turning up unexpected. That's really freaky and creepy. "
It's all about what you allow, if you say to a child no you can't have sweeties but you give them to him he basically knows he can have them, you have to set your stall out as you mean to go on, it's hardly stalking he's been invited in previously, now I imagine he's been told in no uncertain terms he's not allowed to turn up unannounced so if he did, that would be out of order

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???he was accepted at least once so you made him feel it was acceptable "

Acceptable to turn up unannounced?

Not once but twice?

Acceptable?

Is there something wrong with you?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No no no it’s never right to do that. Ok maybe you hadn’t laid down ground rules but you can’t be blamed for that.

Even in the normal world, just to turn up is a no no in my book, people have their own lives.

First time would have been a warning, second time a red card. Cut contact and block.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

What a nightmare, this is why it's hotels for us. I'd be interested in what was said to him the first time he arrived without invitation, if he was told it was unacceptable and not to do it again I'd definitely see it as an overt power play and pretty damn passive aggressive.

I'd be threatening police involvement personally as not listening to a no is worrying.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???he was accepted at least once so you made him feel it was acceptable but he had no right turning up unexpected. That's really freaky and creepy. It's all about what you allow, if you say to a child no you can't have sweeties but you give them to him he basically knows he can have them, you have to set your stall out as you mean to go on, it's hardly stalking he's been invited in previously, now I imagine he's been told in no uncertain terms he's not allowed to turn up unannounced so if he did, that would be out of order "

So because he was invited once it's ok for him to rock up whenever he chooses ??? Are you for real ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What on earth- that’s wrong!

We sometimes accom and never has anyone just turned up- not swinging friends anyway!

We don’t live together and do our meets at his house where he also has 2 dogs, if this wasn’t the case it’d be club meets or social meets away from the family home

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/09/18 09:36:21]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I won’t even randomly land on my friends or family’s doorstep without atleast a courtesy phone call!

Jesus!! "

I would never turn up unannounced either. I don’t like friends or family doing the same. Luckily I’ve never had a guy turn up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uuLuuWoman
over a year ago

Watford

Sounds like a guy to be avoided at all costs.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sprey6Man
over a year ago

Here!

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???he was accepted at least once so you made him feel it was acceptable "

Really! That's a mad way to think

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to a police station once (as arranged by me &my meet) to prove he was a genuine copper. Can you imagine if I just kept going unexpectedly lol. It's all about trust & discretion.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The first time he was told that this behaviour is TOTALLY unacceptable

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andWCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Luton

"It's all about what you allow, if you say to a child no you can't have sweeties but you give them to him he basically knows he can have them, you have to set your stall out as you mean to go on, it's hardly stalking he's been invited in previously, now I imagine he's been told in no uncertain terms he's not allowed to turn up unannounced so if he did, that would be out of order "

This is utter rubbish. Your analogy is totally pointless as they clearly hadn't said no in the first place, they didn't "allow" anything beyond the first meeting and the bloke isn't a child

By your reckoning it's okay to turn up unannounced and uninvited wherever you want so long as you've been allowed in once ... we thought that only applied to vampires

The guy's a cock who massively overstepped the boundaries pure and simple.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely unacceptable. Personally this wouldn’t make me want to keep in contact with him. We all have lived outside of Fab and for some, this is kept totally private and separate. All meets should be agreed to beforehand and rules set out from the off. I wouldn’t be happy about this. It needs explaining to him - clearly!

~ Bonnie

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oooooops I misread the first post thought it read he turned up unannounced once and was allowed in hence my comments........... I of course would never do this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oooooops I misread the first post thought it read he turned up unannounced once and was allowed in hence my comments........... I of course would never do this "

Too late....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah that's not on one bit. I was out shopping with my kid's one Saturday morning and received a text to say I've just knocked on yours,but you're out.

Thankfully for you idiot I was,I wasn't impressed one bit."

see that would have boiled my piss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???"

I think this situation should make all realise that inviting a stranger to their home could lead to future unwanted attention. You have allowed him in once so he obviously thought it ok to just turn up when his manhood was twitching. A lesson learnt as in just don’t unvite strangers to your home in case of future consequences. There is also a safety issue here too which I’m sure is self explanatory for all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have private life's outside of fab and calling at another's place of residence/work unannounced/uninvited is a total invasion of your privacy.

I take privacy and discretion seriously and would never call at someone's house/work or acknowledge them in the street unless invited to do so.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackardMan
over a year ago

North West & beyond

Totally unacceptable.

Personally I wouldn't roll up at any relative, friend or aquantancies home unannounced unless circumstances mean't I needed to do so. And for him to do it twice is quite concerning.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't even go to my friends houses without calling first.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ightkitty4uWoman
over a year ago

Epsom

I've had this happen with Vanilla friends!

Had two chaps I was sort of dating (at different times), just rock up when they felt like it, then wouldn't bugger off...

One of them had a massive strop as I was out when he turned up, its as though I should have been at home awaiting for him

This is why I won't accommodate and evasive when I am asked where I live

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had this happen with someone who I'd sent a face pic to. He followed me back to my daughter's flat and knocked on the door.

He tried to stop me closing the door on him-after telling him what a fucking idiot he was-by putting his foot in the door.

After my outburst of anger he left and didn't come back.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tarbeckCouple
over a year ago

york

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

So because he was invited once it's ok for him to rock up whenever he chooses ??? Are you for real ?"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Sorry. I stand by my first comment. You, Sir, are a twat of the first order.

Using your analogy....

If a Traffic Light is stuck on red and a police officer waves you through, that does not give you authority to ignore red lights for evermore.

You either have a loose grip on reality or a very loose grip on the principles of consent.

Either way you are someone that should be avoided at all costs."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is so far beyond the bounds of acceptable behaviour I’d wonder whether he had psychological issues of some kind. I’m sure you have blocked him and informed him that the police will be your next recourse if it happens again. Short journey to a restraining order I would think.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thoughts please???"

Overriding thought here is that the bloke is an irresponsible indiscreet idiot! I feel for the fem. The blokes behaviour Is beyond unacceptable.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"This is so far beyond the bounds of acceptable behaviour I’d wonder whether he had psychological issues of some kind. I’m sure you have blocked him and informed him that the police will be your next recourse if it happens again. Short journey to a restraining order I would think."

Why psychological issues? His manhood was twitching and he probably thought he could be a regular visitor? Maybe at the start ground rules should have been laid down. I wonder what the Police would actually do unless he forced entry or became abusive to them?

Maybe it’s a bad idea to host at home in case this unannounced visit ever was to happen. Some people just have no consideration.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *qua vitaeWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire/Midlands

"Oooooops I misread the first post thought it read he turned up unannounced once and was allowed in hence my comments........... I of course would never do this "

Might be wise next time to read the op fully and carefully first, before jumping to conclusions. It does say that he was asked to leave the first time he turned up unannounced.

OP: this is truly unacceptable and frightening, as you don’t know where it could lead to. If he persists, it amounts to stalking and harassment, which then becomes a police matter. Hopefully, he’s got the message now after the second time.

Perhaps for future reference to meet away from home next time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe it’s a bad idea to host at home in case this unannounced visit ever was to happen. Some people just have no consideration."

Manhood twitching?

Ground rules?

You sound as bad as him

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

This is exactly why I do not see anyone in my house. Ever, under any circumstance.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oooooops I misread the first post thought it read he turned up unannounced once and was allowed in hence my comments........... I of course would never do this

Too late...."
Ha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???

"
What's the safety issue? People knock on your door occasionally, that's life, ok this guy is known to the Op and in an intimate way so they've deemed him to be ok, knocking on the door at best is annoying yes but certainly not stalkerish and certainly not breaking the law if I told him to go away never to come back then ok that's not good but you don't know that's the case yet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???

What's the safety issue? People knock on your door occasionally, that's life, ok this guy is known to the Op and in an intimate way so they've deemed him to be ok, knocking on the door at best is annoying yes but certainly not stalkerish and certainly not breaking the law if I told him to go away never to come back then ok that's not good but you don't know that's the case yet "

Where's the safety issue? Are you being deliberately obtuse ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't want a casual fuck knocking on my door whenever he wants a fuck.

My house is not a free knocking shop.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andWCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Luton

"Oooooops I misread the first post thought it read he turned up unannounced once and was allowed in hence my comments........... I of course would never do this "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you hear of things like this you just think of giving up meeting at all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Maybe it’s a bad idea to host at home in case this unannounced visit ever was to happen. Some people just have no consideration.

Manhood twitching?

Ground rules?

You sound as bad as him

Unsure why you say I sound as bad as him. I’m merely suggesting if people want to keep their private lives and homes private then don’t invite a stranger in, they didn’t know how his mind worked etc.

Manhood twitching is he had the horn so returned to where he thought he could get sex, animals do this in the wild for food, mating etc.

Ground rules - he should have been told it’s a one off if it was and if required further he would be contacted.

Communication is key

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't want a casual fuck knocking on my door whenever he wants a fuck.

My house is not a free knocking shop."

And that is why any casual guys in my life are also my friends. They know respect and wouldn’t do this without communication.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ogging coupleCouple
over a year ago

Derby

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???he was accepted at least once so you made him feel it was acceptable

That sort of comment apportions blame to those who do the inviting.

It is not their fault at all and it certainly isn't an invitation to pop round whenever he needs to pop his cork.

I'd be concerned about your views on being hosted if you think that, by being invited round, thats a green light to intrude on someone's personal space.

Twat.

Unless you mis-phrased it."

Well said, an invite is for that time alone, anyone thinking different is a worrying individual.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having had a similar experience I sent my visitor a strongly worded message and blocked them . Maybe report said person to admin as Well

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Maybe it’s a bad idea to host at home in case this unannounced visit ever was to happen. Some people just have no consideration.

Manhood twitching?

Ground rules?

You sound as bad as him

Manhood twitching is he had the horn so returned to where he thought he could get sex, animals do this in the wild for food, mating etc.

Ground rules - he should have been told it’s a one off if it was and if required further he would be contacted.

Communication is key

No, he should have had the decency to not turn up unannounced. Common sense should have kicked in. I can't believe you are inferring his behaviour is acceptable. Truly shocked.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

And to the OP, totally unacceptable behaviour from him. This is pretty much the reason why I no longer accommodate.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Maybe it’s a bad idea to host at home in case this unannounced visit ever was to happen. Some people just have no consideration.

Manhood twitching?

Ground rules?

You sound as bad as him

Manhood twitching is he had the horn so returned to where he thought he could get sex, animals do this in the wild for food, mating etc.

Ground rules - he should have been told it’s a one off if it was and if required further he would be contacted.

Communication is key

No, he should have had the decency to not turn up unannounced. Common sense should have kicked in. I can't believe you are inferring his behaviour is acceptable. Truly shocked.

I’ve not said his behaviour was acceptable. He clearly thought it ok to turn up on two more occasions even after being told no the second time he did. Do we know the full facts of everything? No. I’m not saying he was right, he just thought he was right. No one knows how another person’s mind works.

I was merely suggesting the dangers of inviting strangers to their home.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is my fear and the reason I won't accomm at home!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe it’s a bad idea to host at home in case this unannounced visit ever was to happen. Some people just have no consideration.

Manhood twitching?

Ground rules?

You sound as bad as him

Manhood twitching is he had the horn so returned to where he thought he could get sex, animals do this in the wild for food, mating etc.

Ground rules - he should have been told it’s a one off if it was and if required further he would be contacted.

Communication is key

No, he should have had the decency to not turn up unannounced. Common sense should have kicked in. I can't believe you are inferring his behaviour is acceptable. Truly shocked.

If the lady,(and that's a big IF,profile is hidden),really thinks that this is an issue for setting out ground rules on a first meet,then I really do disrepair as to how some people's brain actually work.

It is never acceptable to call on someones home,their private property,their safe place and sanctuary,no matter how many times you have been invited before,it is never acceptable to call unannounced.

If you forgot something,you phone or text or message through fab.

It is totally wrong and unacceptable to make assumptions.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone asked me why I’m so cold to people I meet for casual sex... they thought I was afraid of intimacy....

This post is the exact reason why I tell people to only contact me for sex and I will never contact them first.....

There is always two sides to a coin and what the Op is not telling everyone... is they told this man they wanted more than just a one off...

He is totally in the wrong but the Op shouldn’t act like he was some crazy man knocking at their door....

How do I know this.... because if any casual sex partner showed up at my door. They would have been told off , beat up , police called the first time ... that they wouldn’t think of contacting me again much less knock on my door again....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *layer oneMan
over a year ago

mirfield

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???"
holy shit what a fuck wit that’s a big no no who even thinks that’s ok I’ll tell you none

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iReyWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire East

Absolutely unnaceptable, this is why I won't accommodate. I live alone with my teenage daughter, last thing I'd want is someone inviting themselves round because they want to get their dick wet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Short journey to a restraining order I would think."

Ah, if only it were as short as you’d like to think! A restraining order is usually only grant by a Court upon conviction of a criminal offence. In some cases, it can be grant upon acquittal but, and it’s a big but, there needs to be a significant body of evidence to make the Court go down that route. Harassment legislation is equally difficult to apply.

While the bloke concerned in this topic was clearly a knob, knocking on somebody’s door twice over a period of time wouldn’t even raise an eyebrow from the Police.

Cutbacks to the budgets of the Police, CPS and the Court Service are now so harsh, and these vital services so strained, that it is really a golden age for crime...

...so be careful out there!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Short journey to a restraining order I would think.

While the bloke concerned in this topic was clearly a knob, knocking on somebody’s door twice over a period of time wouldn’t even raise an eyebrow from the Police.

Cutbacks to the budgets of the Police, CPS and the Court Service are now so harsh, and these vital services so strained, that it is really a golden age for crime...

...so be careful out there!"

Somebody who speaks some sense at last

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tarbeckCouple
over a year ago

york

"Short journey to a restraining order I would think.

While the bloke concerned in this topic was clearly a knob, knocking on somebody’s door twice over a period of time wouldn’t even raise an eyebrow from the Police.

Cutbacks to the budgets of the Police, CPS and the Court Service are now so harsh, and these vital services so strained, that it is really a golden age for crime...

...so be careful out there!"
I can assure you it does , and has

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't want a casual fuck knocking on my door whenever he wants a fuck.

My house is not a free knocking shop.

And that is why any casual guys in my life are also my friends. They know respect and wouldn’t do this without communication. "

Only my LTP has been to my house. It takes a lot to allow anyone to know where I live.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???"

I would make it extremely clear verbally and on fabs that he wasn't ever allowed on your property again and it would B teeated as stalking if he did and referred to the police or your fist, whichever you felt most comfortable with.

I would absolutely flip out if thst happened.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

If the lady,(and that's a big IF,profile is hidden)

It is totally wrong and unacceptable to make assumptions.

I agree. You have made a huge assumption at a hidden profile because they disagreed with you

Just for info, people are allowed to hide their profile without being accused of being fake for it especially on the forum.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s awful.

I have a friend that had a stalker that he assumes is from here (he doesn’t know their identity to this day). This person found out his address, set up a profile with his photos on various dating sites - and then arranged meets at his address during time’s when he, his wife and his kids would all be in.

He said he had MEN turning up at his house constantly, and they would all try and walk in the front door and talk to him by his first name as if they knew him.

He said this went on for weeks until the police finally stopped it somehow.

That story makes me very wary of ever giving out my address - It’s the reason I don’t write my address in messages or anywhere it can be stored

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the lady,(and that's a big IF,profile is hidden)

It is totally wrong and unacceptable to make assumptions.

I agree. You have made a huge assumption at a hidden profile because they disagreed with you

Just for info, people are allowed to hide their profile without being accused of being fake for it especially on the forum."

I made no assumptions,I questioned the person's sex,yes,but no assumption was made.there is a difference.

And yes,of course a person can hide or unhide their profile at any time.

But when it's hidden no one knows it's identity,and anyone is perfectly entitled to question certain aspects,as opposed to assuming them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

That is a dreadful state of affairs that basically that says that people who have played once have carte blanc to just turn up.

That's poor form by anyone here, regardless of what ever profiler it is done by. There has to be an invitation, first last and only.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some odd folk about.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Jasus. Thinking with his dick obviously.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

Simply ignore the hell out of him and maybe you should have ended it the second time.

Before I was in a shared household if you come looking for me without a heads up you will be ignored and learn from that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???"

In your assessment, how much malice was in this and how much was just him being socially clueless?

There are people in the older generation who are accustomed to turning up unannounced, because pre-mobile phones it was often necessary. My generation find it intensely rude because you could always text someone and check it's ok.

I can't tell from what you wrote whether he is over familiar or something more sinister.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

If the lady,(and that's a big IF,profile is hidden)

It is totally wrong and unacceptable to make assumptions.

I agree. You have made a huge assumption at a hidden profile because they disagreed with you

Just for info, people are allowed to hide their profile without being accused of being fake for it especially on the forum.

I made no assumptions,I questioned the person's sex,yes,but no assumption was made.there is a difference.

And yes,of course a person can hide or unhide their profile at any time.

But when it's hidden no one knows it's identity,and anyone is perfectly entitled to question certain aspects,as opposed to assuming them."

No one has a right on the forums to question another members profile or gender, or that their profile is hidden

. Why is their gender relevant to the thread subject?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???"

Who’s “our female “ is this the female of the couple ? Or another person in your relationship?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't want a casual fuck knocking on my door whenever he wants a fuck.

My house is not a free knocking shop.

And that is why any casual guys in my life are also my friends. They know respect and wouldn’t do this without communication.

Only my LTP has been to my house. It takes a lot to allow anyone to know where I live."

I don’t really do one offs and I live with 5 people so safety is not a massive issue. People I get to know will come to mine after we have a friendship in place and usually meet the people I live with. It’s not that often, either that or I go to theirs.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

But when it's hidden no one knows it's identity,and anyone is perfectly entitled to question certain aspects,as opposed to assuming them."

You can't on the forum as you are querying whether they have a fake profile which is against forum rules. If you think someone is fake report instead

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is exactly why I can't understand anyone being willing to accommodate.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hunkyThighsMan
over a year ago

Gloucester

He’s got issues!!! Got to have respect for people and that’s is awful!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???"

That's why I don't accommodate. I enjoy live on my own without surprises

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

That is completely out of order. You wait to be invited!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"Some years ago, our fem invited a single guy to her home for afternoon fun, and all was fine.

Since then, on two occasions, he has turned up at the door, unannounced. First time she was home alone, and he was asked to leave.

Second time, last week, she had a visitor there. Obviously he was told to leave in no uncertain terms, but this led to an interesting discussion with the visitor.

Thoughts please???"

That is very strange behaviour and if it was me I would feel quite unnerved that someone would be of right mind to act that way

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone asked me why I’m so cold to people I meet for casual sex... they thought I was afraid of intimacy....

This post is the exact reason why I tell people to only contact me for sex and I will never contact them first.....

There is always two sides to a coin and what the Op is not telling everyone... is they told this man they wanted more than just a one off...

He is totally in the wrong but the Op shouldn’t act like he was some crazy man knocking at their door....

wanting more than just a one off isn't giving someone permission to turn up on their doorstep without being invited...are people so socially inadequate these days that you have to explicitly spell this out?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is exactly why I can't understand anyone being willing to accommodate."

I don’t often meet but when I have or do it’s usually at mine and in 8 yrs on and off here I’ve not once had an person knock uninvited. In fact only once has this ever happened but from a guy I dated a few times from a fishy site.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is exactly why I can't understand anyone being willing to accommodate.

But it only takes just one person, and they could cause an awful lot of hassle, upset and stress.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is exactly why I can't understand anyone being willing to accommodate.

But it only takes just one person, and they could cause an awful lot of hassle, upset and stress."

Yes I get that but I also rely on my gut sense when it comes to meeting people and having them in my home. It’s not let me down ‘yet’ the one person who knocked randomly was someone I’d dated and not seen for 6 months, I wasn’t impressed, his exuse was he was passing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mber DextrousWoman
over a year ago

Devon

I can't believe anyone thinks you should have to set out grounds rules which include Don't pop round unannounced in future! Seriously?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"I can't believe anyone thinks you should have to set out grounds rules which include Don't pop round unannounced in future! Seriously? "
this is so true, there's no excuse for doing this, or even thinkinking about doing so.

We can't imagine how that the op feels about this happening to them, only that they have the sympathy and even the support of the decent folk on this, being that it is unacceptable and a shitty move by the violator of their space.

Invitation only has to be the fab default position.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *penlegsoxfordCouple
over a year ago

Oxfordshire

This happened to us and he was told if it ever happened again it would be a painful experience!

Goes against everything this lifestyle stands for:

Privicy.

Discretion.

Honesty.

Respect.

Trust.

Stalker!!!!!!!

Named,shamed and blocked.

He created a new profile and had the audacity to ask for another meet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I wouldn't want a casual fuck knocking on my door whenever he wants a fuck.

My house is not a free knocking shop.

And that is why any casual guys in my life are also my friends. They know respect and wouldn’t do this without communication. "

100%

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone asked me why I’m so cold to people I meet for casual sex... they thought I was afraid of intimacy....

This post is the exact reason why I tell people to only contact me for sex and I will never contact them first.....

There is always two sides to a coin and what the Op is not telling everyone... is they told this man they wanted more than just a one off...

He is totally in the wrong but the Op shouldn’t act like he was some crazy man knocking at their door....

In this day and age you have to spell it out to some people.....

Have you noticed that all cell phones have a block number feature?

This is because people now a days don’t know how to take a hint...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone asked me why I’m so cold to people I meet for casual sex... they thought I was afraid of intimacy....

This post is the exact reason why I tell people to only contact me for sex and I will never contact them first.....

There is always two sides to a coin and what the Op is not telling everyone... is they told this man they wanted more than just a one off...

He is totally in the wrong but the Op shouldn’t act like he was some crazy man knocking at their door....

In this day and age you have to spell it out to some people.....

Have you noticed that all cell phones have a block number feature?

This is because people now a days don’t know how to take a hint..."

I’ve choose to not use the ‘block number’ feature a few times. As I’d rather know what a unhinged person is thinking rather than just guess

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Someone asked me why I’m so cold to people I meet for casual sex... they thought I was afraid of intimacy....

This post is the exact reason why I tell people to only contact me for sex and I will never contact them first.....

There is always two sides to a coin and what the Op is not telling everyone... is they told this man they wanted more than just a one off...

He is totally in the wrong but the Op shouldn’t act like he was some crazy man knocking at their door....

In this day and age you have to spell it out to some people.....

Have you noticed that all cell phones have a block number feature?

This is because people now a days don’t know how to take a hint..."

Exactly this. Most on this forum are assuming that people have the common sense not to just turn up uninvited BUT there are people who need ground rules explaining to them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

I had the same thing happen a few years ago. I was taking a break from fab. A chap I had met and invited home on one occasion several months earlier turned up at my door just as I was serving Sunday dinner to my two children.

He stood at the door step explaining that he couldn't find me on fab , so thought he would call round to see if i was free to.....i stopped him at that point. Explained that I had my children living there and turning up uninvited was not acceptable.

This is the reason I only meet in club's now .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most on this forum are assuming that people have the common sense not to just turn up uninvited"

The use of “common” before “sense” makes the trait appear more prevalent than it actually is... assumptions are dangerous!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread