FabSwingers.com forum: why do people let you down

By *aveg1971 OP Man
over a year ago

Wigton

getting fedup of arranging meets and being stoodup...sometimes costing alot of money....are there any ladies or couples that actually turn up.....

dave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, we always turn up.

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By *otswbabeCouple
over a year ago

north cornwall

[Removed by poster at 09/12/11 01:42:52]

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By *otswbabeCouple
over a year ago

north cornwall

Why is it costing so much? If it keeps happening then maybe review how you choose people and how you meet them.

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By *aveg1971 OP Man
over a year ago

Wigton

i have arrange to meets recently in the other persons area....with fuel costs for travel and hotel...it was £110 for a two day meet...had meet this person before...

the previous meet was local and lost just time and fuel money...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it costing so much? If it keeps happening then maybe review how you choose people and how you meet them. "

I agree. If it keeps happening you're doing something wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"....are there any ladies or couples that actually turn up.....

dave"

nope, all a load of time wasters, id go down the pub and pull

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By *ark CharmerMan
over a year ago

Horsham

You def doing something wrong! Maybe you need to attend socials and meet people face to face first. £110 on a meet? Fuck that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

YES WE ALWAYS TURN UP . BUT WE ALL GET THIS TREATMENT AT TIMES , CALL IT A LESS HAPPY PART OF SWINGING

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i arrange to meet i go.only thing that would stop me would be family matters,id go with the idea of socials and rethink your approach to meeting if its happening alot.good luck .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP you ask "are there any couples that actually turn up" - you then say you'd met this couple before. Kinda answering your own question.

I'm assuming they gave a reason for not being able to make it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/12/11 06:37:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"YES WE ALWAYS TURN UP . BUT WE ALL GET THIS TREATMENT AT TIMES , CALL IT A LESS HAPPY PART OF SWINGING "

No, it's never happened to me. We all do things differently, but this is how it works for me.

I always meet socially first. My social meet for a coffee/lunch is during my lunch hour at work, outside the M&S where I'd be going for a sarnie anyway. I don't do waiting and my meets are informed of that. Should they not turn up no time or cost has been lost by me. If they're unable to do lunchtime then after work for a drink, 15 minutes before my train at the station. Again, should they not turn up, I'm not hanging around at the station.

Once a play meet is arranged it's on a day I would have been off anyway so again, no time lost by me.

As I said, we all have different ways of doing things.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"getting fedup of arranging meets and being stoodup...sometimes costing alot of money....are there any ladies or couples that actually turn up.....

dave"

see.. mr harsh coming

if you are getting loads of timewasters, in the end only you can change that...

how do you go about choosing people, how long do you talk to them before, how do you verify they are genuine, how much due diligence do you do before going ahead... ect ect ect....

if i am not 100% sure... i keep talking till i am... if something in my gut is telling me something isn't right, I keep going till those are satisfied....

has it cost me meets.. probably.... but in the end i can count the amount of timewasters i have had on one hand over 6-7 years.....

nothing is foolproof.. but there are ways of making it work for you...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

chin up i no how you feel hard enough to find some one but then to be messed about is never nice

stick with it and good luck OP

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By *he BananamanMan
over a year ago

WORCESTERSHIRE

i have had some good meets with single ladies and some couples but when a timewaster does come along it does bloody iritate me!,few weeks back a couple messaged me for a meet nr telford and i got there full 25 minutesbefore our meet time and did not see a car of the colour/make that they gave me enter or leave the pub car park.

i waited a a full 20 meets after the meet time and headed home and went online to recieve a message saying why did i not answer my phone?,i looked at my phone in case of a missed call but no calls all day!,when i mesaged them back they said they had seen me at the car park but the wife had decided i was not for her!,if so why all the timewaste?,just phone or txt me and say so!,but i dont think they were ever in the car park or anywhere near as i had a good walk round with my phone in my hand just in case and did not see any cars parked with people sat in them watching!.

just why do they do it these timewasters?.

such weird pathetic critters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will have to agree with the rest, start by meeting at socials or clubs. And take things from there, there are t/w on all sites, just have to use some good old common sense.

I always like to start with a mail on here and take things a bit further by having a face to face coffee, or failing that a mobile call on my " swing phone".

That gives me a really good idea, if they are likely to meet up, I have never paid for a room, for a meet. Unless I happen to be using one for work/social. If people start by saying I need to, alarms start ringing.

Hope all goes well for any new meets you have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will admitt that in the 18months ive been on this site, I have on a couple of occassions had to cancel a meet, this has been either due to illness or issues with children, neither of which can be avoided. Ive also been cancelled on, its life it cant be helped, ive also been stood up, without explaination or contact

you just have to get over it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a good topic, as I have had meets where I've been talking to them for awhile and then when it comes to the actual meet they either don't turn up, or block you on the day.

Now what makes it worse as single males are highlighted on many profiles as being the ones who don't show up and mess people about when from my experience its a mixture of most people.

So its hard to judge who will and who won't stand you up.

I think a lot of people have forgot that its about having fun and sharing experiences so if that's not why you came on here then I think you need to go find facebook or twitter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a good topic, as I have had meets where I've been talking to them for awhile and then when it comes to the actual meet they either don't turn up, or block you on the day.

Now what makes it worse as single males are highlighted on many profiles as being the ones who don't show up and mess people about when from my experience its a mixture of most people.

So its hard to judge who will and who won't stand you up.

I think a lot of people have forgot that its about having fun and sharing experiences so if that's not why you came on here then I think you need to go find facebook or twitter"

I've changed my mind about meeting some people for sex... does this mean I should close our account down on here and go poke a few people on Facebook?

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By *ickens CiderMan
over a year ago

taunton

The thoughts of an individual will always be single minded and those of a couple will always be in two minds...

There's food for thought for you all... lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep, we always turn up."

been waiting for u in my bed for ages

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By *aveg1971 OP Man
over a year ago

Wigton

i couldn't agree more...well said...it is happening with male...female and couples.....alot of dreamers out there...they can't go through with it when it come meet time....

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By *aveg1971 OP Man
over a year ago

Wigton

well you know what.....i had the same thought huni....well come and find me...i am waiting for you..xx

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

We have only cancelled one meet and we gave a weeks warning, due to circumstances out of our controll.

Apart from that time we have always turned up, but do understand that sometimes things do crop up and can't be helped.

For us this is for fun and a bit of added excitement, it doeant rule our lives. Family and work and yes sometimes the boring day to day stuff come first, always have and always will.

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

"i couldn't agree more...well said...it is happening with male...female and couples.....alot of dreamers out there...they can't go through with it when it come meet time...."

I would rather someone change their mind and not turn up, rather than go through the motions just for the sake of not letting people down.

Yes its annoying when you have made plans and they go tits up, but doesnt that happen with everything in life.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"This is a good topic, as I have had meets where I've been talking to them for awhile and then when it comes to the actual meet they either don't turn up, or block you on the day.

Now what makes it worse as single males are highlighted on many profiles as being the ones who don't show up and mess people about when from my experience its a mixture of most people.

So its hard to judge who will and who won't stand you up.

I think a lot of people have forgot that its about having fun and sharing experiences so if that's not why you came on here then I think you need to go find facebook or twitter

I've changed my mind about meeting some people for sex... does this mean I should close our account down on here and go poke a few people on Facebook?

thats why I hate that last line telling people to go use twitter or facebook instead because it is really condescending. I thought one of the thing about swinging was that it was all inclusive...

in the end all that people can do in work out a way of getting it to work for them... and if that means talking/getting to know people/going to socials.. or going to clubs.. then so be it.... we all do our swinging different ways...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why we don't do anything that costs us money on a first meet, unless its meeting at their house or ours then we wont do it..

meeting at a club is ok too because if they don't show we are at the club anyway.

but the only time we would do something like a hotel meet is if we were already going somewhere. that way we are just out of time not out of pocket..

sorry your having a hard time but we all are.. too many people who dont have the balls to just say no i dont want to meet. or who get off on thinking that someone is waiting for them to turn up.

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By *ark CharmerMan
over a year ago

Horsham

If something in my gut isnt 100% and I cant get over it then its bye, bye.

Heard stories of people going on a 2 hr train journey to find no one at station waiting.

I think at times people let things cloud their judgment.

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By *outhlondondudeMan
over a year ago

london

Hell, Yeah!

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

"I've changed my mind about meeting some people for sex... does this mean I should close our account down on here and go poke a few people on Facebook?

Mrs Frock Off, you can poke me on Facebook whenever you like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe they just got cold feet but couldn't face telling you they had changed their mind, it happens!! It hasn't happened to me yet, also if i did arrange to meet someone then i would turn up!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing is foolproof ans some people are less patient with bul**hitters.

Though you might want to address your methods and hope for some improvement. Good luck.

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