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Flaking out of dates

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Has anyone else experienced an epidemic of people with good chat game who sound very keen to meet then fade away once a date is agreed, or start making strings of excuses about why they can’t meet, yet profess continued interest in wanting to meet? It seems to have been the last 12 months particularly.

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By *rwolfMan
over a year ago

bristol

Yep, it goes on both sides.

Been on here long enough to know it comes and goes in swings and roundabouts.

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By *isa2018Couple
over a year ago

East Northamptonshire

We have found this with trying to arrange first social meets. Yet again last night we had a guy asking what we were up to and we said we could meet for a drink. We headed to a pub half way for 9.30 and sat for an hour before deciding to leave again and head home. We're not bothered about having drink and a chat on our own but it amazes me that someone can't find 30 seconds to message and let you know they won't make it, rather than 3.5 hours after their last message they explain why they didn't turn up. With about 5 like this now we've resolved to just say well be at a club on x date and you're welcome to come meet us there.

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By *exymidscouple2017Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

We have had this happen a few times, we’ve had some proper pathetic excuses it almost seems like a game of chase and once something is agreed they lose interest, generally it’s single guys so when the threads come on here moaning as to why the single guy gets a rough time then here’s one reason

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We have found this with trying to arrange first social meets. Yet again last night we had a guy asking what we were up to and we said we could meet for a drink. We headed to a pub half way for 9.30 and sat for an hour before deciding to leave again and head home. We're not bothered about having drink and a chat on our own but it amazes me that someone can't find 30 seconds to message and let you know they won't make it, rather than 3.5 hours after their last message they explain why they didn't turn up. With about 5 like this now we've resolved to just say well be at a club on x date and you're welcome to come meet us there."

Yep, I’m preferring club meets for that reason amongst others.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We have had this happen a few times, we’ve had some proper pathetic excuses it almost seems like a game of chase and once something is agreed they lose interest, generally it’s single guys so when the threads come on here moaning as to why the single guy gets a rough time then here’s one reason "

Yep. My latest was someone from miles away who swore blind he’d make the running about meeting if we got on (travel to Leeds, sort accommodation etc) as I didn’t want to talk to someone from so far away, until it came time to sort out a social meet. Suddenly he’s incapable of suggesting locations and dates. I can’t report, but feel the whole interaction was under false pretences and there were several other lovely men I could have been getting to know instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I blame it on brexit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same with us.. We've been trying to meet a lady for some fun and are very clear and respectful with our messages. They say yes but then string us along or don't reply to messages... Very frustrating..

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By *ommyxyzMan
over a year ago

Harlow

These people who do this must be mad!

After chatting somone invitesbor agrees to meet you’re /lm made up. No way I wouldn’t go.

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By *mber DextrousWoman
over a year ago

Devon

Sounds familiar and actually just messaged a guy who's done exactly that. I almost expect it now, but tend to find those who set a date and time make it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sounds familiar and actually just messaged a guy who's done exactly that. I almost expect it now, but tend to find those who set a date and time make it. "

Generally. It’s the ones who agree a date and don’t pin down the real detail that I now assume won’t meet. I red flag them and set up alternative arrangements. Rarely wrong now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have had this happen a few times, we’ve had some proper pathetic excuses it almost seems like a game of chase and once something is agreed they lose interest, generally it’s single guys so when the threads come on here moaning as to why the single guy gets a rough time then here’s one reason "

I've had two ladies do it with no explanation ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately it does seem to happen a lot of time these days. I've sat in a costa (other coffee chains are available) and waited. It's not a total waste of time as I'll catch up with work whilst waiting.

I think people like that fantasy but when it becomes reality they're off like a shot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of threads on this recently - is it epidemic?! So many time wasters.

I just go to the clubs, if they go they go. I can’t even be bothered to chat: too much energy wasted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep one guy in particular who I met and had fun with. Now he text me every few weeks asking if I’m free and when I say no he’s like oh no I wanted to meet you so much and if I say yes he just stops chatting...... I’ve started saying yes all the time now even if I’m not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly, a lot of guys talk the talk, but when faced with the reality of meeting, they suddenly turn into shy, reclusive little boys without mummy's hand to hold. We've found this all too often. It's like they are some big, macho fuck-lord while tapping on their keyboards / smartphones, but the second you offer them a chance to prove their machismo, they're sat their thinking to themselves, "oh fuck, what do I say, what do I do, how do I initiate any physical interaction? We've had guys say," I didn't feel comfortable meeting your husband as well, could we maybe just meet alone? "

We call them insecure boys.

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By *mber DextrousWoman
over a year ago

Devon


"Unfortunately it does seem to happen a lot of time these days. I've sat in a costa (other coffee chains are available) and waited. It's not a total waste of time as I'll catch up with work whilst waiting. "

That's always been my approach, make sure if it's a no show I'm somewhere I'll enjoy anyway or can easily change to more productive plans if it doesn't happen. Clubs are great for avoiding this kind of thing though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not been here long, it seems like a mine field with all the no shows so I’m starting of with clubs.

OP I’m of to Quest on Wednesday

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

It’s you ladies, you are so intimidating, it’s easier to deal with you from behind a computer screen...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Not been here long, it seems like a mine field with all the no shows so I’m starting of with clubs.

OP I’m of to Quest on Wednesday "

I’ll see you there!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not been here long, it seems like a mine field with all the no shows so I’m starting of with clubs.

OP I’m of to Quest on Wednesday

I’ll see you there! "

YEEES

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it's happening more and more. I'm pretty much deciding wether to bother with meets outside of clubs now. So many talk the talk.....

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

I've noticed a change even just in the short time I've been back

It's one reason why I tend to meet off-site these days

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"Has anyone else experienced an epidemic of people with good chat game who sound very keen to meet then fade away once a date is agreed, or start making strings of excuses about why they can’t meet, yet profess continued interest in wanting to meet? It seems to have been the last 12 months particularly. "

Very much so

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By *oftandGentle2Couple
over a year ago

leeds

I find a few like that, chat the chat, swop pics, talk for days then disappear, and when back want to start back up where they left off. A couple I’ve let do that, and one in particular arranges TWICE to meet for social then disappear the day before or the day of!!!

Such a waste of time, as takes a lot to get on a social in the first place!!! Let alone juggling kids for a meet!!!

Grrrrrrrrr

Mon the others hand tigerlily, will be seeing you again very soon!!!! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Given how hard it can be, getting to the "Yes, let's meet" point in the first place, it baffles me why so many would bottle out, when a time/place has been arranged.

The prospect of a rendezvous going ahead, should be exciting - not scary and offputting.

So far, I've never failed to show up but if something did stop, or delay me, surely there's ways of getting a message through?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thats why spontaneous is better

if arranged to far in advance other things crop up

i think a lot of meets are arranged when people have had a drink or are feeling ultra horny making the date then on the day are not in the mood ..

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By *im L FuckitMan
over a year ago

Dumfriesshire

Good point, Steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"thats why spontaneous is better

if arranged to far in advance other things crop up

i think a lot of meets are arranged when people have had a drink or are feeling ultra horny making the date then on the day are not in the mood .."

+1 for this....we’ve come to the same conclusion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep certainly have op had it happen so many times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Has anyone else experienced an epidemic of people with good chat game who sound very keen to meet then fade away once a date is agreed, or start making strings of excuses about why they can’t meet, yet profess continued interest in wanting to meet? It seems to have been the last 12 months particularly. "

Usually happens soon as Mr says can we all have a chat on the phone

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I find a few like that, chat the chat, swop pics, talk for days then disappear, and when back want to start back up where they left off. A couple I’ve let do that, and one in particular arranges TWICE to meet for social then disappear the day before or the day of!!!

Such a waste of time, as takes a lot to get on a social in the first place!!! Let alone juggling kids for a meet!!!

Grrrrrrrrr

Mon the others hand tigerlily, will be seeing you again very soon!!!! Lol "

Excellent! Will look forward to that. Did you see my sexy couples appreciation thread? You should make yourself known on it..

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By *eliciousKisserMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

Has anyone coughed up for a hotel and had a no show? That would be a bit of a dampener!

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By *oftandGentle2Couple
over a year ago

leeds


"I find a few like that, chat the chat, swop pics, talk for days then disappear, and when back want to start back up where they left off. A couple I’ve let do that, and one in particular arranges TWICE to meet for social then disappear the day before or the day of!!!

Such a waste of time, as takes a lot to get on a social in the first place!!! Let alone juggling kids for a meet!!!

Grrrrrrrrr

Mon the others hand tigerlily, will be seeing you again very soon!!!! Lol

Excellent! Will look forward to that. Did you see my sexy couples appreciation thread? You should make yourself known on it.."

Noooo I didn’t. I’ll look now x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Has anyone coughed up for a hotel and had a no show? That would be a bit of a dampener! "

I’ve read other threads where people have done that. My worst no show was one where I’d spent a fair bit on nails, hair, wax etc but also dog boarding kennel so that I could stay overnight. Should have put him in it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually the hardest part for me chatting, I usually can't start an introduction to save my life. But I drove 95miles just to make sure a meet I agreed to happened.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep had that today

He’s apologised but it’s bullshit

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

Do people actually do their due diligence before making these ‘arrangements’?

How many times have people had unexplained no-shows with people they have chatted to/video called outside of this website and kept up a regular form of communication, not based on sex in the days beforehand?

And how many of these people that supposedly don’t turn up are people that are 20 years younger and degrees of attractiveness higher than the people complaining they’ve been stood up?

Yes, I acknowledge that there are people for whom the idea of this sort of thing is exciting, but in real life are bottle out. But, if you agree a time and place, I would have thought it extremely rare that you would get stood up. People stopping texting, deleting their profiles and the like, is just shit that happens and there are countless threads that tell the guys not to take it personally.

I think agreeing to meet someone halfway for a social is pretty risky from both of your perspectives. To me the more effort that either or both parties have to make increases the risk of one of them not being able to make it. If you must have a ‘social’ first do it round the corner from your house or theirs. That way the risk of both parties having a wasted journey or going home even more frustrated is zero.

Insistence on clubs? Thin end of the wedge. Why? So that you can find someone else on the off chance that they don’t turn up? And that’s the profiles that say they’re looking for a ‘connection’!

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"Do people actually do their due diligence before making these ‘arrangements’?

How many times have people had unexplained no-shows with people they have chatted to/video called outside of this website and kept up a regular form of communication, not based on sex in the days beforehand?

And how many of these people that supposedly don’t turn up are people that are 20 years younger and degrees of attractiveness higher than the people complaining they’ve been stood up?

Yes, I acknowledge that there are people for whom the idea of this sort of thing is exciting, but in real life are bottle out. But, if you agree a time and place, I would have thought it extremely rare that you would get stood up. People stopping texting, deleting their profiles and the like, is just shit that happens and there are countless threads that tell the guys not to take it personally.

I think agreeing to meet someone halfway for a social is pretty risky from both of your perspectives. To me the more effort that either or both parties have to make increases the risk of one of them not being able to make it. If you must have a ‘social’ first do it round the corner from your house or theirs. That way the risk of both parties having a wasted journey or going home even more frustrated is zero.

Insistence on clubs? Thin end of the wedge. Why? So that you can find someone else on the off chance that they don’t turn up? And that’s the profiles that say they’re looking for a ‘connection’! "

Totally agree mate!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Has anyone else experienced an epidemic of people with good chat game who sound very keen to meet then fade away once a date is agreed, or start making strings of excuses about why they can’t meet, yet profess continued interest in wanting to meet? It seems to have been the last 12 months particularly.

Usually happens soon as Mr says can we all have a chat on the phone "

that always s slot of them out lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s only now though that I see the signs that he wasn’t quite right. Oh well live and learn

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By *xoticMermaidWoman
over a year ago

NORTH WEST

I had one over weekend. Grafted me over 3 weeks! Friday night he suggests to take me out for meal, few drinks then hotel n all night long! Even got train times n wot he'll be waiting. Sat morning his status says hes looking for a couple to join him n a girl hes seeing at his place!!! Erm Ive not met him n definitely didnt agree to meet other ppl on our first meet! No wonder I dont meet anymore....no faith in this site

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I had one over weekend. Grafted me over 3 weeks! Friday night he suggests to take me out for meal, few drinks then hotel n all night long! Even got train times n wot he'll be waiting. Sat morning his status says hes looking for a couple to join him n a girl hes seeing at his place!!! Erm Ive not met him n definitely didnt agree to meet other ppl on our first meet! No wonder I dont meet anymore....no faith in this site "

That is epically crappy treatment. I hope you hadn’t gone out of your way for him.

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By *un in WorcesterMan
over a year ago

Worcester

Seems to be very common to me.

Starting to get very wary of those who are too keen as they seem to drop out regularly, non site supporters also make me wonder, this site is not expensive.

As someone who has recently been verified I understand the problem with non verified members.

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By *onforming_deviantWoman
over a year ago

Gainsborough

Im so pleased for once that ive found people moaning hahah because ive been thinking the exsact same thing hahaha

Im with you all on club and event socials and meets. You meet genuinly lovely sexy well groomed people that way at least.

3 (not even cancelled socials) in one week (2 people) and an old play partner rain checking for the following day and then not opening his messages until 11.30pm and not replying...

Seems to me that unless your willing to put your safety at risk and do stranger meets/socials in your own home then most of the guys on here dont have the time to give anyone else. And if you dont fuck them at their conveniance for their own instant gratification their not intrested either.

Its sad really because i know LOADS of guys on here are good guys but just pussys about socials.. intimacy or clubs

Good luck everyone xx

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By *orldSeller0Man
over a year ago

Craigavon

You see this is a side of fab i dont really know much about at all, so defo very interesting reading everyone's similar experiences when it comes to arranging dates/socials.

I think i've come to the conclusion tho that a large majority of the "single guys" youre all talking about here and arranging things with arent actually single guys at all lol

Idk i dont get very many messages and very few women respond to my advances so ive never really got past those first few messages but personally im a man of my word, if we were both equally as keen and serious about meeting and we arrange a date (that fits well for us both) then im gonna be there straight up and i definitely hope she would be too.

But maybe im just a naive young fool lol

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By *xoticMermaidWoman
over a year ago

NORTH WEST


"I had one over weekend. Grafted me over 3 weeks! Friday night he suggests to take me out for meal, few drinks then hotel n all night long! Even got train times n wot he'll be waiting. Sat morning his status says hes looking for a couple to join him n a girl hes seeing at his place!!! Erm Ive not met him n definitely didnt agree to meet other ppl on our first meet! No wonder I dont meet anymore....no faith in this site

That is epically crappy treatment. I hope you hadn’t gone out of your way for him."

As soon as I saw his status...made other plans. He had the cheek to post the status THEN viewed my profile 15 mins later!! He can dream on now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel quite lucky to have met the people I have then. There is usually quite a lot of distance and organising hotels involved, but so far it has all worked out. I should probably quit whilst Im ahead now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You see this is a side of fab i dont really know much about at all, so defo very interesting reading everyone's similar experiences when it comes to arranging dates/socials.

I think i've come to the conclusion tho that a large majority of the "single guys" youre all talking about here and arranging things with arent actually single guys at all lol

Idk i dont get very many messages and very few women respond to my advances so ive never really got past those first few messages but personally im a man of my word, if we were both equally as keen and serious about meeting and we arrange a date (that fits well for us both) then im gonna be there straight up and i definitely hope she would be too.

But maybe im just a naive young fool lol "

I’d take this thread as a warning tbh. Just do the best you can, make sure you talk in real life first and pin down location and time details. If they do disappear from the conversation, or worse, don’t turn up, at least you’ll know it has happened to the rest of us on this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a lot of these ‘single’ guys are actually attached. They fantasise about meeting for sex but when push comes to shove they bottle it thinking they won’t get away being ‘out with mates’ on that particular evening.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s why I’m only meeting those I already know or meet at clubs.

Had 2 get cold feet lately this was couples. One said only the Male 1/2 would be there and I said no!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Do people actually do their due diligence before making these ‘arrangements’?

How many times have people had unexplained no-shows with people they have chatted to/video called outside of this website and kept up a regular form of communication, not based on sex in the days beforehand?

And how many of these people that supposedly don’t turn up are people that are 20 years younger and degrees of attractiveness higher than the people complaining they’ve been stood up?

Yes, I acknowledge that there are people for whom the idea of this sort of thing is exciting, but in real life are bottle out. But, if you agree a time and place, I would have thought it extremely rare that you would get stood up. People stopping texting, deleting their profiles and the like, is just shit that happens and there are countless threads that tell the guys not to take it personally.

I think agreeing to meet someone halfway for a social is pretty risky from both of your perspectives. To me the more effort that either or both parties have to make increases the risk of one of them not being able to make it. If you must have a ‘social’ first do it round the corner from your house or theirs. That way the risk of both parties having a wasted journey or going home even more frustrated is zero.

Insistence on clubs? Thin end of the wedge. Why? So that you can find someone else on the off chance that they don’t turn up? And that’s the profiles that say they’re looking for a ‘connection’! "

I think it’s pretty clear from my profile that I don’t overestimate myself, insist on phone convos first and do not let the fab bs go to my head. Still a lot of guys (and the occasional couple) who sound keen but then disappear once a social has been agreed. Really quite a lot of them.

Your points about socials and distance just don’t make sense, nor the point about connection. The purpose of online chat and telephone calls is to ascertain whether there is a connection. Whether the social is then in a club or a Costa makes no odds. As a reasonably regular club goer I would expect to know a couple of people at a club who might be interested in playing if my meet didn’t turn up. Connection had already been established. And before anyone goes overboard about people being ‘used’ as a back up - any friends there would be part of my plan for the evening. It would just be a case of more time with them and none with the no-show.

So we pretty comprehensively disagree on this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had this a few times on here and also on the dating sites.

I think it’s because they get cold feet and don’t want to hurt your feelings but they end up doing that by not saying anything and not turning up.

That’s why I’m going to try a club. Thinking of going around my birthday to make this years birthday different to my others.

But I am glad there are some on here that still meet up when they say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had a few like this recently, very frustrating as you can’t tell if you want to met without talking, it’s a vicious circle! They also submarine and pop up again weeks later and so it all starts again

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Had this a few times on here and also on the dating sites.

I think it’s because they get cold feet and don’t want to hurt your feelings but they end up doing that by not saying anything and not turning up.

That’s why I’m going to try a club. Thinking of going around my birthday to make this years birthday different to my others.

But I am glad there are some on here that still meet up when they say. "

I think a club opens up all sorts of play scenarios. Might be good to let them know it’s your birthday too..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Has anyone else experienced an epidemic of people with good chat game who sound very keen to meet then fade away once a date is agreed, or start making strings of excuses about why they can’t meet, yet profess continued interest in wanting to meet? It seems to have been the last 12 months particularly. "
nope I've never had that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you continually have this happen then I'd start asking why? Plenty of people manage to arrange and meet quite successfully without no shows. Assess your actions as you're the common denominator.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"Im so pleased for once that ive found people moaning hahah because ive been thinking the exsact same thing hahaha

Im with you all on club and event socials and meets. You meet genuinly lovely sexy well groomed people that way at least.

3 (not even cancelled socials) in one week (2 people) and an old play partner rain checking for the following day and then not opening his messages until 11.30pm and not replying...

Seems to me that unless your willing to put your safety at risk and do stranger meets/socials in your own home then most of the guys on here dont have the time to give anyone else. And if you dont fuck them at their conveniance for their own instant gratification their not intrested either.

Its sad really because i know LOADS of guys on here are good guys but just pussys about socials.. intimacy or clubs

Good luck everyone xx "

Some of us guys aren't 'pussies' and do visit clubs, but get absolutely nowhere once inside!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you continually have this happen then I'd start asking why? Plenty of people manage to arrange and meet quite successfully without no shows. Assess your actions as you're the common denominator. "

I think it’s clear from the sheer number of people posting in this thread and elsewhere that a lot of people do fade out after meets have been arranged.

I have modified planning and combs accordingly. And the OP wasn’t about no shows, it was about fading out after setting a social date. I don’t get many no shows now except the odd casual club arrangement. So no, I don’t think it some weirdly unattractive quirk of my behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you continually have this happen then I'd start asking why? Plenty of people manage to arrange and meet quite successfully without no shows. Assess your actions as you're the common denominator.

I think it’s clear from the sheer number of people posting in this thread and elsewhere that a lot of people do fade out after meets have been arranged.

I have modified planning and combs accordingly. And the OP wasn’t about no shows, it was about fading out after setting a social date. I don’t get many no shows now except the odd casual club arrangement. So no, I don’t think it some weirdly unattractive quirk of my behaviour."

Could be one of a billion different reasons why then, both legitimate and false.

I wasn't getting at any unattractive behaviours. More of looking at if you could identify why you (and others) may be attractive/attached to this type of flaky person. I know I went through a period of attracting a certain type years ago and am now aware when it may be happening and taking action. If that makes sense.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you continually have this happen then I'd start asking why? Plenty of people manage to arrange and meet quite successfully without no shows. Assess your actions as you're the common denominator.

I think it’s clear from the sheer number of people posting in this thread and elsewhere that a lot of people do fade out after meets have been arranged.

I have modified planning and combs accordingly. And the OP wasn’t about no shows, it was about fading out after setting a social date. I don’t get many no shows now except the odd casual club arrangement. So no, I don’t think it some weirdly unattractive quirk of my behaviour.

Could be one of a billion different reasons why then, both legitimate and false.

I wasn't getting at any unattractive behaviours. More of looking at if you could identify why you (and others) may be attractive/attached to this type of flaky person. I know I went through a period of attracting a certain type years ago and am now aware when it may be happening and taking action. If that makes sense. "

I like socially skilled, intelligent and creative people. Could there be a higher percentage of charming game players, who see agreement to a social as a goal, in that demographic? Maybe. That’s a pretty hard wired preference for me though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's alot of fantatists on Fab. And it seems to be getting worse. It's gone very odd of late.....Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most will agree to a social and then think what’s the point of wasting time on a social only meet if they won’t get some fun that night, can’t blame them, we are here to play so would never meet for a social only anyway so we’ve never had a let down yet...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you continually have this happen then I'd start asking why? Plenty of people manage to arrange and meet quite successfully without no shows. Assess your actions as you're the common denominator. "

I’ve got lots of veris, so must be doing something right! Like the OP I’ve been let down quite a lot - more so recently

I don’t think it’s anything to do with her being the ‘common denominator’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you continually have this happen then I'd start asking why? Plenty of people manage to arrange and meet quite successfully without no shows. Assess your actions as you're the common denominator.

I’ve got lots of veris, so must be doing something right! Like the OP I’ve been let down quite a lot - more so recently

I don’t think it’s anything to do with her being the ‘common denominator’

"

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham


"We have found this with trying to arrange first social meets. Yet again last night we had a guy asking what we were up to and we said we could meet for a drink. We headed to a pub half way for 9.30 and sat for an hour before deciding to leave again and head home. We're not bothered about having drink and a chat on our own but it amazes me that someone can't find 30 seconds to message and let you know they won't make it, rather than 3.5 hours after their last message they explain why they didn't turn up. With about 5 like this now we've resolved to just say well be at a club on x date and you're welcome to come meet us there."

That's exactly what we do now. In fact we are in some chat now and saying that very thing. We got fed up of having our time wasted, from all the messaging then the no show. Always positive though. As we say so many times to folk on here, if you find things are not working change the approach. We did and love it

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"We have found this with trying to arrange first social meets. Yet again last night we had a guy asking what we were up to and we said we could meet for a drink. We headed to a pub half way for 9.30 and sat for an hour before deciding to leave again and head home. We're not bothered about having drink and a chat on our own but it amazes me that someone can't find 30 seconds to message and let you know they won't make it, rather than 3.5 hours after their last message they explain why they didn't turn up. With about 5 like this now we've resolved to just say well be at a club on x date and you're welcome to come meet us there.

That's exactly what we do now. In fact we are in some chat now and saying that very thing. We got fed up of having our time wasted, from all the messaging then the no show. Always positive though. As we say so many times to folk on here, if you find things are not working change the approach. We did and love it"

My thoughts exactly, and the reason I have called time on the club scene from today

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham


"We have found this with trying to arrange first social meets. Yet again last night we had a guy asking what we were up to and we said we could meet for a drink. We headed to a pub half way for 9.30 and sat for an hour before deciding to leave again and head home. We're not bothered about having drink and a chat on our own but it amazes me that someone can't find 30 seconds to message and let you know they won't make it, rather than 3.5 hours after their last message they explain why they didn't turn up. With about 5 like this now we've resolved to just say well be at a club on x date and you're welcome to come meet us there.

That's exactly what we do now. In fact we are in some chat now and saying that very thing. We got fed up of having our time wasted, from all the messaging then the no show. Always positive though. As we say so many times to folk on here, if you find things are not working change the approach. We did and love it

My thoughts exactly, and the reason I have called time on the club scene from today "

We changed our approach to clubs

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

All I can say is that I have never flaked out of a date...go on try me...only within a 100 mile radius

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's never happened yet that another has flaked on me and been a no show. And I always turn up. But my meets are usually long distance or ling enough that planning dates and hotels and meets mean there is a commitment on both sides to meeting.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"We have found this with trying to arrange first social meets. Yet again last night we had a guy asking what we were up to and we said we could meet for a drink. We headed to a pub half way for 9.30 and sat for an hour before deciding to leave again and head home. We're not bothered about having drink and a chat on our own but it amazes me that someone can't find 30 seconds to message and let you know they won't make it, rather than 3.5 hours after their last message they explain why they didn't turn up. With about 5 like this now we've resolved to just say well be at a club on x date and you're welcome to come meet us there.

That's exactly what we do now. In fact we are in some chat now and saying that very thing. We got fed up of having our time wasted, from all the messaging then the no show. Always positive though. As we say so many times to folk on here, if you find things are not working change the approach. We did and love it

My thoughts exactly, and the reason I have called time on the club scene from today

We changed our approach to clubs"

Clubs haven’t worked for me, so rather than suffer further frustration with the scene, best to just cut it out and stick with what works for me; private meets

Our paths crossed in TH for Vicky’s party I believe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Has anyone else experienced an epidemic of people with good chat game who sound very keen to meet then fade away once a date is agreed, or start making strings of excuses about why they can’t meet, yet profess continued interest in wanting to meet? It seems to have been the last 12 months particularly. "

Strangest one we had recently after 1st meet was arranged the female was looking after a family members shop, arranged another date, can't meet as female is unwell please ring us so we can apologise, dutifully did. Both were as a newt and not able to put a sentence together when we range, another meet not on your nelly.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

And just to lighten the mood and add some perspective, the socials I DO have are generally a rollicking good time, even if they don’t go any further. I have met some fantastic people, sometimes I even get to have sex with them!

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By *ammyDodgaMan
over a year ago

Nottingham/and everywhere my location says i am ;)

It happens both sides I’d say.. Just before coming away got on amazingly with someone from the forums, numerous playful messages, meet agreed, hotel paid for, spoke at night following morning, blocked and out of pocket.

Sucks, but that’s life. A msg to say I’m sorry etc etc. Then block. Least gives a person a reason

The Ghosting after investing time/effort/money or whatever is what does me with people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I blame it on brexit! "

Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It happens both sides I’d say.. Just before coming away got on amazingly with someone from the forums, numerous playful messages, meet agreed, hotel paid for, spoke at night following morning, blocked and out of pocket.

Sucks, but that’s life. A msg to say I’m sorry etc etc. Then block. Least gives a person a reason

The Ghosting after investing time/effort/money or whatever is what does me with people"

Oh yes, no doubt it happens with all genders/conformations of fab users. I think I used ‘people’ throughout my posts for that reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, happening all to often tbh.

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By *oversironthroneMan
over a year ago

dover

We found a new level (to us anyway) of low last night. OH is looking for a dom to start her sub training etc. we met a chap for a social and he seemed like a nice guy.

Scroll a week after lots of sexy messages, pics etc and she arranged a play meet last night with him. All ready and dressed sexy she gets a message to say he would pick her up in 20 minutes.

3 hours later he’s still not arrived, tosser

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm having this happen to me at he moment, really got into a girl on here, she says exactly the same, share naughty pics some days, speak all the time etc etc. I try arrange a meet then BOSH... either busy or don't get a reply. Shame really cos I've rearranged a meet or 2 to see her. Now starting to think I'm wasting my time, I hope not though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We found a new level (to us anyway) of low last night. OH is looking for a dom to start her sub training etc. we met a chap for a social and he seemed like a nice guy.

Scroll a week after lots of sexy messages, pics etc and she arranged a play meet last night with him. All ready and dressed sexy she gets a message to say he would pick her up in 20 minutes.

3 hours later he’s still not arrived, tosser"

That's awful. Can you report him for that?

We as a couple always try for a social b4 meeting, couple or single person. Same as me when I play alone, unless I just want a Fuck and Go. Clubs and organised socials are a great way to meet people and get a feel for them. That's what they are there for.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"I'm having this happen to me at he moment, really got into a girl on here, she says exactly the same, share naughty pics some days, speak all the time etc etc. I try arrange a meet then BOSH... either busy or don't get a reply. Shame really cos I've rearranged a meet or 2 to see her. Now starting to think I'm wasting my time, I hope not though. "

She’s keeping you as a ‘Plan b’ mate, block her and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm having this happen to me at he moment, really got into a girl on here, she says exactly the same, share naughty pics some days, speak all the time etc etc. I try arrange a meet then BOSH... either busy or don't get a reply. Shame really cos I've rearranged a meet or 2 to see her. Now starting to think I'm wasting my time, I hope not though.

She’s keeping you as a ‘Plan b’ mate, block her and move on "

That's kinda how I'm feeling. Although she does work daft hours and only has time off at the start of the week when I'm at work, we tried arranging something then got fobbed off about 3 hours before

Thanks for the advice, I'll maybe do that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm having this happen to me at he moment, really got into a girl on here, she says exactly the same, share naughty pics some days, speak all the time etc etc. I try arrange a meet then BOSH... either busy or don't get a reply. Shame really cos I've rearranged a meet or 2 to see her. Now starting to think I'm wasting my time, I hope not though. "

Sounds like you’ve given her quite a few chances already..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's extremely rare that I have this happen, but I do spend quite a lot of time chatting to people before I arrange a meet. That way you can get a 'feel' for someone and for if they are coming across genuine.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"I'm having this happen to me at he moment, really got into a girl on here, she says exactly the same, share naughty pics some days, speak all the time etc etc. I try arrange a meet then BOSH... either busy or don't get a reply. Shame really cos I've rearranged a meet or 2 to see her. Now starting to think I'm wasting my time, I hope not though.

She’s keeping you as a ‘Plan b’ mate, block her and move on "

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"I'm having this happen to me at he moment, really got into a girl on here, she says exactly the same, share naughty pics some days, speak all the time etc etc. I try arrange a meet then BOSH... either busy or don't get a reply. Shame really cos I've rearranged a meet or 2 to see her. Now starting to think I'm wasting my time, I hope not though.

She’s keeping you as a ‘Plan b’ mate, block her and move on

That's kinda how I'm feeling. Although she does work daft hours and only has time off at the start of the week when I'm at work, we tried arranging something then got fobbed off about 3 hours before

Thanks for the advice, I'll maybe do that. "

Letting you down last minute happens at times, and is disappointing. Letting you down when you’ve rearranged meets with other people who would have met you, is another thing entirely. Go and meet the others, if they’re still wanting to meet you, after YOU (in theory) have messed them around

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"It's extremely rare that I have this happen, but I do spend quite a lot of time chatting to people before I arrange a meet. That way you can get a 'feel' for someone and for if they are coming across genuine. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want everyone with this let down problem to try something radical for 1 week.....

Try only arranging meets on the day you can actually meet....

It can be a social, club or sex meet....

So if you have Friday night free.... put a meet up and try to arrange something for Friday night.....

Then report back and see if you have better results....

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"I want everyone with this let down problem to try something radical for 1 week.....

Try only arranging meets on the day you can actually meet....

It can be a social, club or sex meet....

So if you have Friday night free.... put a meet up and try to arrange something for Friday night.....

Then report back and see if you have better results....

"

I do this and still get ghosted. I've 4 meets currently posted for when I'm free, not holding out much hope tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I want everyone with this let down problem to try something radical for 1 week.....

Try only arranging meets on the day you can actually meet....

It can be a social, club or sex meet....

So if you have Friday night free.... put a meet up and try to arrange something for Friday night.....

Then report back and see if you have better results....

I do this and still get ghosted. I've 4 meets currently posted for when I'm free, not holding out much hope tbh. "

Trust me you will get some offers... it might not be anyone you’re interested in... but that is life on the internet...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I want everyone with this let down problem to try something radical for 1 week.....

Try only arranging meets on the day you can actually meet....

It can be a social, club or sex meet....

So if you have Friday night free.... put a meet up and try to arrange something for Friday night.....

Then report back and see if you have better results....

"

Challenge accepted. Am I allowed to put the word out to friends privately though so that I get a chance to see them too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I want everyone with this let down problem to try something radical for 1 week.....

Try only arranging meets on the day you can actually meet....

It can be a social, club or sex meet....

So if you have Friday night free.... put a meet up and try to arrange something for Friday night.....

Then report back and see if you have better results....

Challenge accepted. Am I allowed to put the word out to friends privately though so that I get a chance to see them too?"

Yes.... I want you to be spontaneous and live for the moment... but please be safe.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/09/18 09:51:40]

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"I want everyone with this let down problem to try something radical for 1 week.....

Try only arranging meets on the day you can actually meet....

It can be a social, club or sex meet....

So if you have Friday night free.... put a meet up and try to arrange something for Friday night.....

Then report back and see if you have better results....

"

I'll try this for next Saturday, so will list up a meet from this Saturday coming, and will report back honestly how I get on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I want everyone with this let down problem to try something radical for 1 week.....

Try only arranging meets on the day you can actually meet....

It can be a social, club or sex meet....

So if you have Friday night free.... put a meet up and try to arrange something for Friday night.....

Then report back and see if you have better results....

"

I'm up for this. Bring it on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do people actually do their due diligence before making these ‘arrangements’?

How many times have people had unexplained no-shows with people they have chatted to/video called outside of this website and kept up a regular form of communication, not based on sex in the days beforehand?

And how many of these people that supposedly don’t turn up are people that are 20 years younger and degrees of attractiveness higher than the people complaining they’ve been stood up?

Yes, I acknowledge that there are people for whom the idea of this sort of thing is exciting, but in real life are bottle out. But, if you agree a time and place, I would have thought it extremely rare that you would get stood up. People stopping texting, deleting their profiles and the like, is just shit that happens and there are countless threads that tell the guys not to take it personally.

I think agreeing to meet someone halfway for a social is pretty risky from both of your perspectives. To me the more effort that either or both parties have to make increases the risk of one of them not being able to make it. If you must have a ‘social’ first do it round the corner from your house or theirs. That way the risk of both parties having a wasted journey or going home even more frustrated is zero.

Insistence on clubs? Thin end of the wedge. Why? So that you can find someone else on the off chance that they don’t turn up? And that’s the profiles that say they’re looking for a ‘connection’! "

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham


"We have found this with trying to arrange first social meets. Yet again last night we had a guy asking what we were up to and we said we could meet for a drink. We headed to a pub half way for 9.30 and sat for an hour before deciding to leave again and head home. We're not bothered about having drink and a chat on our own but it amazes me that someone can't find 30 seconds to message and let you know they won't make it, rather than 3.5 hours after their last message they explain why they didn't turn up. With about 5 like this now we've resolved to just say well be at a club on x date and you're welcome to come meet us there.

That's exactly what we do now. In fact we are in some chat now and saying that very thing. We got fed up of having our time wasted, from all the messaging then the no show. Always positive though. As we say so many times to folk on here, if you find things are not working change the approach. We did and love it

My thoughts exactly, and the reason I have called time on the club scene from today

We changed our approach to clubs

Clubs haven’t worked for me, so rather than suffer further frustration with the scene, best to just cut it out and stick with what works for me; private meets

Our paths crossed in TH for Vicky’s party I believe "

Hardly anyone spoke to us that night. We left just after 12. Just shows some clubs are hard work when everyone knows everyone. Some clubs we love some we wont go back to. So even approaching clubs can be a mine field. We can't remember speaking, sorry

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"We have found this with trying to arrange first social meets. Yet again last night we had a guy asking what we were up to and we said we could meet for a drink. We headed to a pub half way for 9.30 and sat for an hour before deciding to leave again and head home. We're not bothered about having drink and a chat on our own but it amazes me that someone can't find 30 seconds to message and let you know they won't make it, rather than 3.5 hours after their last message they explain why they didn't turn up. With about 5 like this now we've resolved to just say well be at a club on x date and you're welcome to come meet us there.

That's exactly what we do now. In fact we are in some chat now and saying that very thing. We got fed up of having our time wasted, from all the messaging then the no show. Always positive though. As we say so many times to folk on here, if you find things are not working change the approach. We did and love it

My thoughts exactly, and the reason I have called time on the club scene from today

We changed our approach to clubs

Clubs haven’t worked for me, so rather than suffer further frustration with the scene, best to just cut it out and stick with what works for me; private meets

Our paths crossed in TH for Vicky’s party I believe

Hardly anyone spoke to us that night. We left just after 12. Just shows some clubs are hard work when everyone knows everyone. Some clubs we love some we wont go back to. So even approaching clubs can be a mine field. We can't remember speaking, sorry"

At least you had each other; try being a single bloke in a club It was just a passing 'Hi' while we were in the dance area

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I want everyone with this let down problem to try something radical for 1 week....

Try only arranging meets on the day you can actually meet.

It can be a social, club or sex meet.

So if you have Friday night free, put a meet up and try to arrange something for Friday night, then report back and see if you have better results..."

Never actually considered posting a meet - although never been let down, either.

Might try one for this Thursday: Will be going to Gloucester social (burlesque, this month), so might find someone friendly & chatty Nothing to lose, eh.

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