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being let down

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Why is that when youve been chatting to someone for a while, you say 'hi how's you', you chat for a bit then say would you like to meet, they say yeah sure. But as soon as you try to organise a meet and setting a day and time, they go totally silent on you. Then when you chat again and say, do you still want to meet and they say 'yeah sure', you try again to set a date and silence again.....lol. I mean......why say sure then do nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol women are complex creatures

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I would interpret that as they don't really want to meet and don't know how to say no thanks

If they really wanted to meet they'll be in touch with some dates

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ahhh the old, saying 'yes' when you mean 'No' thing!

Who knows!

I think some may use it as a gentle let down?

I try not to, its not fair, but I have been guilty of it at some point, I am sure

What do they say about perogative?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's gotta work for everyone. but I agree with you. People not even bothering to reply to emails, will undermine the respect the site is build on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why is that when youve been chatting to someone for a while, you say 'hi how's you', you chat for a bit then say would you like to meet, they say yeah sure. But as soon as you try to organise a meet and setting a day and time, they go totally silent on you. Then when you chat again and say, do you still want to meet and they say 'yeah sure', you try again to set a date and silence again.....lol. I mean......why say sure then do nothing. "

or they are being polite x

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"Why is that when youve been chatting to someone for a while, you say 'hi how's you', you chat for a bit then say would you like to meet, they say yeah sure. But as soon as you try to organise a meet and setting a day and time, they go totally silent on you. Then when you chat again and say, do you still want to meet and they say 'yeah sure', you try again to set a date and silence again.....lol. I mean......why say sure then do nothing. "

Maybe it's a way of letting you down gently.

Maybe they are just busy.

Maybe they are still sussing you out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a gorgeous man that lives about three miles from me. We've met socially, two years ago, and still not met to play. We've arranged and it hasn't happened. When he could meet and sent me a message via the site work meant I didn't log on and met another opportunity this week. I thought he still had my number and missed he'd sent me bus.

Sometimes with the best will in the world it's hard to meet some playmates.

If you adopt a laid back it'll happen attitude, it won't bother you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is a gorgeous man that lives about three miles from me. We've met socially, two years ago, and still not met to play. We've arranged and it hasn't happened. When he could meet and sent me a message via the site work meant I didn't log on and met another opportunity this week. I thought he still had my number and missed he'd sent me bus.

Sometimes with the best will in the world it's hard to meet some playmates.

If you adopt a laid back it'll happen attitude, it won't bother you. "

When did you get to be so wise xx

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By *iceguydaveMan
over a year ago

Monmouth


"Why is that when youve been chatting to someone for a while, you say 'hi how's you', you chat for a bit then say would you like to meet, they say yeah sure. But as soon as you try to organise a meet and setting a day and time, they go totally silent on you. Then when you chat again and say, do you still want to meet and they say 'yeah sure', you try again to set a date and silence again.....lol. I mean......why say sure then do nothing.

Maybe it's a way of letting you down gently.

Maybe they are just busy.

Maybe they are still sussing you out.

"

Or maybe they're a bloke pretending to be a female/couple, and the game has run its course for them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"lol women are complex creatures "

happens with men to....

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Agreed I went for about 2 years wanting to play.

with someone it just never happened....sometimes it doesn't.

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By *ddiddyMan
over a year ago

kilkenny

on the other hand we have on our profile we are not meeting only here for the chat but when we chat with people sure enough on the second message "so you wanna meet" then we have to try and be polite and make an excuse i know we could take it as a compliment but just another side to this thread

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

maybe your pushing to hard for a meet.

try taking things gently and always offer alternatives - so rather than saying " do you want to meet?" why not say

"do you feel ready to meet in person or would you prefer to take things in smaller steps like speaking on the phone or something first?"

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"I would interpret that as they don't really want to meet and don't know how to say no thanks

If they really wanted to meet they'll be in touch with some dates"

Yup...yeah sure sounds like a brush off to me.If i want to meet i suggest dates.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They could be dreamers with no intention of meeting or maybe they're not that interested and don't want to say upfront or they could have lots of meets on the go. What I tend to do is put the ball back in their court by saying we're definitely interested, suggest some dates and leave it to them to confirm or not. If they're interested, then they will meet and if not then they don't so time to leave it. Ms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bottom line is there are lots of fantasist timewasters here not unique to this site of course but all over the internet.

You just need to move on and they will move on to some other gullible type and repeat the pattern.

Could be worse you could have booked a hotel room!!javascript:doSmilie('%20')

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

Without having been party to the email conversation in question its difficult to make a judgement - a couple of things I would ask are how long has the person you're talking to been on the site, and do they have any track record (i.e. are they meet verified)?

If they've been on the site for 3 months+ and haven't been verified or if you're making the classic newbie error of chasing the brand new members, then I'd say your on a hiding to nothing and you may as well move on.

If its a well verified member then I'd say that at some point they probably were interested but you've pushed too hard too soon, or done something else to put them off.

You could try taking a step back by suggesting that perhaps you take a smaller next step than moving straight towards a meet, and let them suggest what that next step should be.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

If you've tried twice, try once more then let them know that you are on here for meets, not chat, and move on.

I've had this happen to me several times so its not just a 'women' thing. Sure, people can be nervous, and I don't like being pushed and hassled any more than other people, but in the end, if you feel you're getting nowhere, you're probably right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im sure its been said before, but ladies (and couples i guess) get lots of messages from lots of guys, and if youre dont have a lot of free time to play, then you can get "booked up" quite a bit in advance...could be that honey...best thing to do is ask them outright...if i had no intention of meeting i guy, i certainly wouldnt string him along by chatting for weeks on end.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/12/11 12:16:11]

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

I am guilty of this...but if I don't want to meet I'm honest. Busy lives makes planning difficult plus don't want to meet all the time. We use status to show when we are free and tell friends that. Hubby doesn't take kindly to being pestered.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

We are often guilty of this too but not because we are timewasters. If we don't want to meet someone or change our minds, then we will say so.

Like alot of other people we don't have as much free time as we would like. Tend to dip in and out of meeting.

And when we do have a free evening together, we don't always want to spend it swinging.

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