FabSwingers.com forum: Meet Etiquette

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hello Fabsters,

I have a question in etiquette...

I have a couples profile on here with my FB. We’ve arranged to meet a guy tonight at ours, we’ve mentioned we might invite another couple to join us.

This morning we received a message from a couple saying that they’d been invited to join us by the single guy we’ve arranged to meet.

Is it me, or is that pretty bad form of the guy we’re meeting? I find it audacious that he’s done it and frankly quite rude. We’ve not met him before, and he’s invited a couple we’ve never spoken to.

I would say it’s pretty out of line, but would like to get peoples opinions before responding to him about it.

At the moment I’m of the opinion to cancel the whole thing and block him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello Fabsters,

I have a question in etiquette...

I have a couples profile on here with my FB. We’ve arranged to meet a guy tonight at ours, we’ve mentioned we might invite another couple to join us.

This morning we received a message from a couple saying that they’d been invited to join us by the single guy we’ve arranged to meet.

I would say it’s pretty out of line, but would like to get peoples opinions before responding to him about it.

At the moment I’m of the opinion to cancel the whole thing and block him."

Utterly out of order. You invite people to your meets particularly if they're at your home. Bin him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You told him you may also invite someone else who he's never met- did you ask him if that's ok or just tell him that's your plan?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Out of order IMO.

It would have been different if he had mentioned your names to them or their name to you so you could've contacted them directly.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I wouldn't be happy if I was You but Steelheels has got a point!

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By *requent_FerryersCouple
over a year ago

Norwich to Great Yarmouth (by river)

Totally wrong. It is your home. Not his.

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By *erotic_adventureMan
over a year ago

London, Scotland & The North,

I think your question is rhetorical and ultimately you know whats protocal here but respect and understand the wider view for your clarity

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You told him you may also invite someone else who he's never met- did you ask him if that's ok or just tell him that's your plan?

We said we might, and having been doing this for a while, we always let others know who we’re inviting before we do so, getting the dynamic right is paramount for these things in my opinion.

We’re not one for springing surprises on those that we’ve confirmed to meet.

It’s all about respect and I personally don’t think he’s shown any towards us.

The meet is out our house, or rather my FBs, and so the invited should come from us, not from a guest of ours and without any knowledge that it’s been extended.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is your life and your home!

He either chooses to meet you under the known conditions or he doesn't. That is his choice to make.

For him to invite someone else is completely out of order, bin him and move on!

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

He’s invited a couple you don’t know, into your home!

That’s a dick move and totally out of order. Who the fuck does he think he is!?!

Steelheels - the guy has been invited to their house and told there may be another couple...

He’s the invitee and could decline... I’m not seeing an issue here

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"He’s invited a couple you don’t know, into your home!

That’s a dick move and totally out of order. Who the fuck does he think he is!?!

Steelheels - the guy has been invited to their house and told there may be another couple...

He’s the invitee and could decline... I’m not seeing an issue here

I agree

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Meet cancelled.

Guy reprimanded and blocked

Unfortunate message to a lovely couple sent.

What a douche bag !

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Bang out of order

Ive blocked men before who suddenly want to invite their female friends along...

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By *r_Jake70Man
over a year ago

London

I’ve been on the opposite side of a similar occurance. I had a hotel meet a few years ago, and the woman decided to invite another guy to arrive an hour after I did. I wasn’t asked or informed until he knocked, and I was sent to let him in. It completely changed the dynamic, and although it was clearly her choice who she wished to play with, (it was her room), and she genuinely thought it was a good idea, and we did have fun, I was very put out by the assumption that it would just be fine to do so without checking first. I would have of course have said “yes”, but I would have liked to have known prior to him turning up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He’s invited a couple you don’t know, into your home!

That’s a dick move and totally out of order. Who the fuck does he think he is!?!

Steelheels - the guy has been invited to their house and told there may be another couple...

He’s the invitee and could decline... I’m not seeing an issue here

Totally agree with this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello Fabsters,

I have a question in etiquette...

I have a couples profile on here with my FB. We’ve arranged to meet a guy tonight at ours, we’ve mentioned we might invite another couple to join us.

This morning we received a message from a couple saying that they’d been invited to join us by the single guy we’ve arranged to meet.

I would say it’s pretty out of line, but would like to get peoples opinions before responding to him about it.

At the moment I’m of the opinion to cancel the whole thing and block him."

Our house our invites simples

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Meet cancelled.

Guy reprimanded and blocked

Unfortunate message to a lovely couple sent.

What a douche bag !"

I think I'd have been inclined to arrange to meet the couple (assuming all four of you wanted to), cancel the single guy, but keep him friends long enough to see the veri from the couple (assuming all went well and they sent one) and vice versa and then blocked him

What a presumptuous thing for him to have done!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello Fabsters,

I have a question in etiquette...

I have a couples profile on here with my FB. We’ve arranged to meet a guy tonight at ours, we’ve mentioned we might invite another couple to join us.

This morning we received a message from a couple saying that they’d been invited to join us by the single guy we’ve arranged to meet.

I would say it’s pretty out of line, but would like to get peoples opinions before responding to him about it.

At the moment I’m of the opinion to cancel the whole thing and block him."
It's cheeky is all just say it's not his place to invite others but still have him round

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless he thought you meant for him to look for a couple to add then he is way out of order, even if he did think that, he still would be as,like you said, the dynamics have to be right for all concerned so everyone needs to know everyone before that can happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meet cancelled.

Guy reprimanded and blocked

Unfortunate message to a lovely couple sent.

What a douche bag !"

At least they had the decency to contact you...imagine if they'd just turned up at his invitation...and he was happy to give your address out to people you didn't know...what a knob

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You told him you may also invite someone else who he's never met- did you ask him if that's ok or just tell him that's your plan?

We said we might, and having been doing this for a while, we always let others know who we’re inviting before we do so, getting the dynamic right is paramount for these things in my opinion.

We’re not one for springing surprises on those that we’ve confirmed to meet.

It’s all about respect and I personally don’t think he’s shown any towards us.

The meet is out our house, or rather my FBs, and so the invited should come from us, not from a guest of ours and without any knowledge that it’s been extended."

Fair enough, apologies, I just wanted to clarify.

I agree he was out of order to invite total strangers to your place. I'd be very pissed off. Hope he didn't give them the address!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just for clarity...we'd have been as pissed off at a couple or single woman who'd pulled the same trick...

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

So you invited a guy and he accepted.

You then told him you were inviting a certain couple.

He then invited that couple.

I don't see the issue as you were going to ask them anyway. Does it really matter who asked them first?

If it was never mentioned to him I'm guessing he wouldn't have invited them in the first place

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"So you invited a guy and he accepted.

You then told him you were inviting a certain couple.

He then invited that couple.

I don't see the issue as you were going to ask them anyway. Does it really matter who asked them first?

If it was never mentioned to him I'm guessing he wouldn't have invited them in the first place "

I thought that on reading it but after having another look I think it was a different couple.

I think if people agree to a meet under particular circumstances that all parties should keep to that agreement.

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By *urveLurverMan
over a year ago

Skyview

This looks like a bit of a minefield.

Trust and respect is important in Fabworld and Normalworld.

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