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"I know people have the right to respond to or delete messages without replying but I do find it very rude and frustrating when you make the effort to send people a polite and respectful message and it just gets deleted. Surely if people want respect they should show it? Is swinging not built on respect even if it is a polite refusal?" Within the context of the community not replying to a message isn't rude. If someone doesn't reply they're simply not interested. Some people get tens of messages on here. Not everyone has time to write a polite decline. | |||
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"I know people have the right to respond to or delete messages without replying but I do find it very rude and frustrating when you make the effort to send people a polite and respectful message and it just gets deleted. Surely if people want respect they should show it? Is swinging not built on respect even if it is a polite refusal?" It would be curteous to reply, in my opinion, but I can understand that when inundated with messages, someone chooses not to. I personally always reply...well, the 1st time at least  | |||
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"Fully disagree with the last post, it is absolutely rude and ignorant not to at least reply to say no thanks or yes please No matter how many messages you get, if you are receiving them from people who you don't want to receive from them change your filters, it isn't hard although it does take a level of intelligence to do." Perhaps the senders should learn to read profiles before sending, then they wouldn't be ignored or deleted would they? | |||
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"And no one needs to be inundated to excuse themselves from replying. If you can't handle no response to a message then what are you like with sexual consent?" Not entirely relevant | |||
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"Fully disagree with the last post, it is absolutely rude and ignorant not to at least reply to say no thanks or yes please No matter how many messages you get, if you are receiving them from people who you don't want to receive from them change your filters, it isn't hard although it does take a level of intelligence to do." Errr.. No. I can get upto 30 messages a day. I don't have time to reply to all of them, neither do I feel anyone is entitled to my time. Ontop of reading said messages, I have my own messages to write and reply to people I actually want to talk to. I'm receiving said messages from people who don't read my profile or maybe I'm just not attracted to them even if on paper they're what I'm looking for. So no, I can't apply a "not quite good looking enough filter" unless your "level of intelligence" has found a way to do so. | |||
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"And no one needs to be inundated to excuse themselves from replying. If you can't handle no response to a message then what are you like with sexual consent? Not entirely relevant" Really? I'll tell you as a woman it's entirely relevant. | |||
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"Would the people that think it’s rude not to reply to all mail received, feel better if they got this message? “ I don’t find you attractive and I would never have sex with you. Please don’t message me again. “" LOL ! I think the "please" in there is the politeness they're looking for. | |||
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"And no one needs to be inundated to excuse themselves from replying. If you can't handle no response to a message then what are you like with sexual consent? Not entirely relevant Really? I'll tell you as a woman it's entirely relevant." It’s totally relevant. A few weeks ago get a message from a guy, it was a fine messages and was goin to reply but wanted to read some others first. I kid you not in the space of ten mins he sent 5 other crazy messages! I blocked him to put him out of his misery but it’s scary to think what if I had replied and actually met him?? What kind of a situation would I have put myself in? How would he have handled it if no action was goin to happen. I am fully aware this can be risky but things like that make you think | |||
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"There'll never be an answer to this that all agree with. We just need to accept that not everyone replies to every message. That's especially true if the sender hasn't read the other person's profile and is not who they're looking for. Equally we could all use filters better. The downside is that it can limit our interaction on the forums which involve a PM." I don't see how filters can stop this though. My biggest bug bears are people who live miles away and people who can't accommodate message me. Is there a way to filter this out ? | |||
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"A friend of mine gets upward of 900 messages in a day or two. I've seen her inbox... replying no to all of those requires a secretary. However thinking that the majority of people on here don't get that many, I can't help but wonder how many messages you (the OP) has left with no response or unopened... " We would love to see what meets she puts up then, blimey if we get 50 views, and 1 message (okay we are old and not everyone's choice) in a day it is above normal, but then again our filters are set correctly for what we want. | |||
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"And no one needs to be inundated to excuse themselves from replying. If you can't handle no response to a message then what are you like with sexual consent?" This. Manners cost nothing neither does respect | |||
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"Single guys get most of their messages deleted, why do a couple feel they should be treated any differently? Many of us get bombarded with messages. We have a life outside of fab and can’t spend hours messaging everyone who’s sent us a ‘Hi hun, this is us’. " But Rachael you must be a fake to be saying this ! Are you suggesting you don't spend all your time waiting for couples to send you blurry pictures of themselves from the last d*unken night out ? | |||
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"And no one needs to be inundated to excuse themselves from replying. If you can't handle no response to a message then what are you like with sexual consent? Not entirely relevant Really? I'll tell you as a woman it's entirely relevant. It’s totally relevant. A few weeks ago get a message from a guy, it was a fine messages and was goin to reply but wanted to read some others first. I kid you not in the space of ten mins he sent 5 other crazy messages! I blocked him to put him out of his misery but it’s scary to think what if I had replied and actually met him?? What kind of a situation would I have put myself in? How would he have handled it if no action was goin to happen. I am fully aware this can be risky but things like that make you think" I stand corrected..I wouldn't have made the connection myself, but you have made a valid point. | |||
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"And no one needs to be inundated to excuse themselves from replying. If you can't handle no response to a message then what are you like with sexual consent? Not entirely relevant Really? I'll tell you as a woman it's entirely relevant." Totally agree with this | |||
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"Fully disagree with the last post, it is absolutely rude and ignorant not to at least reply to say no thanks or yes please No matter how many messages you get, if you are receiving them from people who you don't want to receive from them change your filters, it isn't hard although it does take a level of intelligence to do. Errr.. No. I can get upto 30 messages a day. I don't have time to reply to all of them, neither do I feel anyone is entitled to my time. Ontop of reading said messages, I have my own messages to write and reply to people I actually want to talk to. I'm receiving said messages from people who don't read my profile or maybe I'm just not attracted to them even if on paper they're what I'm looking for. So no, I can't apply a "not quite good looking enough filter" unless your "level of intelligence" has found a way to do so. " Really, 30 a day how popular!!!!! | |||
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"There'll never be an answer to this that all agree with. We just need to accept that not everyone replies to every message. That's especially true if the sender hasn't read the other person's profile and is not who they're looking for. Equally we could all use filters better. The downside is that it can limit our interaction on the forums which involve a PM. I don't see how filters can stop this though. My biggest bug bears are people who live miles away and people who can't accommodate message me. Is there a way to filter this out ?" You're right, not entirely. But it does help with age at least! | |||
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"And no one needs to be inundated to excuse themselves from replying. If you can't handle no response to a message then what are you like with sexual consent? Not entirely relevant Really? I'll tell you as a woman it's entirely relevant. It’s totally relevant. A few weeks ago get a message from a guy, it was a fine messages and was goin to reply but wanted to read some others first. I kid you not in the space of ten mins he sent 5 other crazy messages! I blocked him to put him out of his misery but it’s scary to think what if I had replied and actually met him?? What kind of a situation would I have put myself in? How would he have handled it if no action was goin to happen. I am fully aware this can be risky but things like that make you think" Very true. Even tonight I said to this guy oh so I added you as a friend but you don't chat. I went away to cook my dinner. Reply said... Don't you want to chat. Or I have told them no thank you but they insist in being pushy. Respect goes a long way | |||
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"There'll never be an answer to this that all agree with. We just need to accept that not everyone replies to every message. That's especially true if the sender hasn't read the other person's profile and is not who they're looking for. Equally we could all use filters better. The downside is that it can limit our interaction on the forums which involve a PM. I don't see how filters can stop this though. My biggest bug bears are people who live miles away and people who can't accommodate message me. Is there a way to filter this out ? You're right, not entirely. But it does help with age at least!" See age for me isn't really an issue (she says.. trotting off to amend the age limit) it's the unable to accommodate when I'm unable to accommodate either.. | |||
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"We haven't got time to reply to all messages and clearly state in our profile our preferences along with apologising in advance that if we don't reply you're not our type. There are times I'll reply to those who take their time to send a message that consists of more that 3 words or one line. However I've found some will try and change my mind which is frustrating. My pet hate is when I answer a message to a so called friend or who we're interested in and they don't reply. Then a few days or weeks later they'll send another message. Block button is tempting and used when it occurs a few times." Do you now understand what the op is posting for then when people don't reply to your message?, it works both ways! That's why we always reply, because we aren't rude. | |||
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"Single guys get most of their messages deleted, why do a couple feel they should be treated any differently? Many of us get bombarded with messages. We have a life outside of fab and can’t spend hours messaging everyone who’s sent us a ‘Hi hun, this is us’. But Rachael you must be a fake to be saying this ! Are you suggesting you don't spend all your time waiting for couples to send you blurry pictures of themselves from the last d*unken night out ? " Lol. I fake all my message replies just like I fake my orgasms, even when I have them in those special moments I spend alone 
The type of messages many couples send really are among the least inspiring. When you turn them down they are often, the most surprised. It’s so much easier just to delete. | |||
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"Fully disagree with the last post, it is absolutely rude and ignorant not to at least reply to say no thanks or yes please No matter how many messages you get, if you are receiving them from people who you don't want to receive from them change your filters, it isn't hard although it does take a level of intelligence to do." Unfortunately there's no filter for "has read my profile, meets my criteria, sends a reasonable message, and piques my interest, then isn't pushy or demanding." Believe me, I've looked. | |||
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"Fully disagree with the last post, it is absolutely rude and ignorant not to at least reply to say no thanks or yes please No matter how many messages you get, if you are receiving them from people who you don't want to receive from them change your filters, it isn't hard although it does take a level of intelligence to do." So the site rules and admin are wrong then? These are rules you've agreed to when you joined by the way. | |||
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"Fully disagree with the last post, it is absolutely rude and ignorant not to at least reply to say no thanks or yes please No matter how many messages you get, if you are receiving them from people who you don't want to receive from them change your filters, it isn't hard although it does take a level of intelligence to do. Errr.. No. I can get upto 30 messages a day. I don't have time to reply to all of them, neither do I feel anyone is entitled to my time. Ontop of reading said messages, I have my own messages to write and reply to people I actually want to talk to. I'm receiving said messages from people who don't read my profile or maybe I'm just not attracted to them even if on paper they're what I'm looking for. So no, I can't apply a "not quite good looking enough filter" unless your "level of intelligence" has found a way to do so. Really, 30 a day how popular!!!!!" She's a gorgeous woman of course she is. You sound a bit salty there. Mrs | |||
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"Fully disagree with the last post, it is absolutely rude and ignorant not to at least reply to say no thanks or yes please No matter how many messages you get, if you are receiving them from people who you don't want to receive from them change your filters, it isn't hard although it does take a level of intelligence to do. Errr.. No. I can get upto 30 messages a day. I don't have time to reply to all of them, neither do I feel anyone is entitled to my time. Ontop of reading said messages, I have my own messages to write and reply to people I actually want to talk to. I'm receiving said messages from people who don't read my profile or maybe I'm just not attracted to them even if on paper they're what I'm looking for. So no, I can't apply a "not quite good looking enough filter" unless your "level of intelligence" has found a way to do so. Really, 30 a day how popular!!!!! She's a gorgeous woman of course she is. You sound a bit salty there. Mrs" Not sure it was salty. More sarcastic. 30 messages a day isn’t very many. | |||
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"You expecting a response is rude. Do you respond to all junk mail that you get by email or post?" Nailed it.  | |||
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"I set out to be polite and reply to all when I first joined. "Sorry, you're not for me" is, I think, a perfectly adequate and polite reply. OP, when you get shed loads of messages back wanting to know why, or trying to persuade you that they ARE your type after all, it becomes wearing. I delete now. " Yeah. The whining and abuse got old fast. | |||
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"Fully disagree with the last post, it is absolutely rude and ignorant not to at least reply to say no thanks or yes please No matter how many messages you get, if you are receiving them from people who you don't want to receive from them change your filters, it isn't hard although it does take a level of intelligence to do. Errr.. No. I can get upto 30 messages a day. I don't have time to reply to all of them, neither do I feel anyone is entitled to my time. Ontop of reading said messages, I have my own messages to write and reply to people I actually want to talk to. I'm receiving said messages from people who don't read my profile or maybe I'm just not attracted to them even if on paper they're what I'm looking for. So no, I can't apply a "not quite good looking enough filter" unless your "level of intelligence" has found a way to do so. Really, 30 a day how popular!!!!! She's a gorgeous woman of course she is. You sound a bit salty there. Mrs Not sure it was salty. More sarcastic. 30 messages a day isn’t very many. " Oh I see now, lol I bet you get loads more comparing profiles?? and still you're ignoring the fact that you don't make the site rules you've agreed to, so it's not like you read everything you're supposed to is it  [
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"We haven't got time to reply to all messages and clearly state in our profile our preferences along with apologising in advance that if we don't reply you're not our type. There are times I'll reply to those who take their time to send a message that consists of more that 3 words or one line. However I've found some will try and change my mind which is frustrating. My pet hate is when I answer a message to a so called friend or who we're interested in and they don't reply. Then a few days or weeks later they'll send another message. Block button is tempting and used when it occurs a few times. Do you now understand what the op is posting for then when people don't reply to your message?, it works both ways! That's why we always reply, because we aren't rude." You're not doing a very good job of hiding it, on this thread. The rudeness, that is. | |||
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"Fully disagree with the last post, it is absolutely rude and ignorant not to at least reply to say no thanks or yes please No matter how many messages you get, if you are receiving them from people who you don't want to receive from them change your filters, it isn't hard although it does take a level of intelligence to do. Errr.. No. I can get upto 30 messages a day. I don't have time to reply to all of them, neither do I feel anyone is entitled to my time. Ontop of reading said messages, I have my own messages to write and reply to people I actually want to talk to. I'm receiving said messages from people who don't read my profile or maybe I'm just not attracted to them even if on paper they're what I'm looking for. So no, I can't apply a "not quite good looking enough filter" unless your "level of intelligence" has found a way to do so. Really, 30 a day how popular!!!!! She's a gorgeous woman of course she is. You sound a bit salty there. Mrs Not sure it was salty. More sarcastic. 30 messages a day isn’t very many. Oh I see now, lol I bet you get loads more comparing profiles?? and still you're ignoring the fact that you don't make the site rules you've agreed to, so it's not like you read everything you're supposed to is it [
"You lost me with this last one. Eh? | |||
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"I know people have the right to respond to or delete messages without replying but I do find it very rude and frustrating when you make the effort to send people a polite and respectful message and it just gets deleted. Surely if people want respect they should show it? Is swinging not built on respect even if it is a polite refusal?" It’s certainly frustrating but you do have to accept that women and couples get loads of messages and that no reply does in fact mean no thanks. Sending polite considerate messages does work in the end, and in my experience always leads to meeting the best people | |||
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"I know people have the right to respond to or delete messages without replying but I do find it very rude and frustrating when you make the effort to send people a polite and respectful message and it just gets deleted. Surely if people want respect they should show it? Is swinging not built on respect even if it is a polite refusal?" The problem might lie in the fact that you have a couples profile, but state that it's only the male meeting at the moment, if I were to receive a message from a couple that said that, I would just think "Just another single guy trying his luck, fake profile, delete, move on". | |||
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"I know people have the right to respond to or delete messages without replying but I do find it very rude and frustrating when you make the effort to send people a polite and respectful message and it just gets deleted. Surely if people want respect they should show it? Is swinging not built on respect even if it is a polite refusal?" so many different reasons why people don't reply mind, too many messages can't keep up, Youre not their type Didn't see it Can't be arsed They got distracted No WiFi Internet disconnected they couldn't afford the bill | |||
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"I know people have the right to respond to or delete messages without replying but I do find it very rude and frustrating when you make the effort to send people a polite and respectful message and it just gets deleted. Surely if people want respect they should show it? Is swinging not built on respect even if it is a polite refusal? The problem might lie in the fact that you have a couples profile, but state that it's only the male meeting at the moment, if I were to receive a message from a couple that said that, I would just think "Just another single guy trying his luck, fake profile, delete, move on"." The couple I messaged said they were looking for a guy, I had wondered the same as you though. | |||
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