FabSwingers.com forum: Do people lower their standards on fab?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just something I’ve been thinking about

This is a sex site - many people don’t leave a lot to the imagination in their photos, also many people are open and say they want to have sex and make people are aware that is purely what they are after.

Do you think this means that many people lower their standards on fab for guaranteed sex - and perhaps sleep with many people they wouldn’t look at twice in the street?

Or would you say many people are just as fussy about people they play with off here as they would be with going out on a date with someone, for instance?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No never lower standards wouldn't just play with anyone

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By *inkynudeMan
over a year ago

London

I have different standards in a sex site than if I was looking for a relationship. Not necessarily lower but definitely different.

There are things that would bother me in a long term relation, but wouldn’t be a problem in a casual one. And the other way around is also valid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not me, I have the same high standards wherever I am

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Maybe those that people think do lower their standards,don't themselves see it that way.There is no explanation to attraction sometimes.

I think many of us would rather wait to find someone we click with and fancy,rather than meeting people for the sake of a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely don't lower our standards. Couldn't just have sex for the sake of it. There has to be a connection

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have different standards in a sex site than if I was looking for a relationship. Not necessarily lower but definitely different.

There are things that would bother me in a long term relation, but wouldn’t be a problem in a casual one. And the other way around is also valid."

This is what I thought would be many peoples idea!

Though some may think they would lower their standards looks-wise for guaranteed sex with someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never lower my standards. if I'm not attracted physically and mentally the guy won't get near me

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Yeah, I wouldn't look twice at the vacuous young male model types, and I certainly wouldn't date one, but I met one or two.....

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By *eardsandboobsCouple
over a year ago

north of lincoln

We only meet people we fancy and We only have sex with people we fancy and get along with . No point just meeting people for sex you have no attraction to as there’s no fun in that.

Having said that though I might lower my knickers for you if you turned up in that waist coat

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By *otbhambabeWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I never lower my standards & very fussy on who I meet. I don’t have naked pics on my profile either

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Well if you don't have standards then you don't have to lower them, that's how we roll

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah, I wouldn't look twice at the vacuous young male model types, and I certainly wouldn't date one, but I met one or two.....

And how did they go for you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We only meet people we fancy and We only have sex with people we fancy and get along with . No point just meeting people for sex you have no attraction to as there’s no fun in that.

Having said that though I might lower my knickers for you if you turned up in that waist coat

Oh really, so the suit does it for you then does it

I might have to start wearing it wherever I go haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is not a sex site, it's a swingers site. So it's not instashag, like a lot of people seem to think. People on here still have a right to say 'no' and not having to justify their choices.

When it comes to meeting people off here (and I have met quite a few), I personally don't go for looks, I need a connection. So what, in the OP's opinion, might be people lowering their standards, it is, actually, people making choices according to their preference, whatever that might be.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Firstly it's a swinging site, to a lot of us the social side is just as important as sex. Secondly, I wouldn't lower my standards. I'd rather not meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not me, I have the same high standards wherever I am"

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By *eardsandboobsCouple
over a year ago

north of lincoln

"We only meet people we fancy and We only have sex with people we fancy and get along with . No point just meeting people for sex you have no attraction to as there’s no fun in that.

Having said that though I might lower my knickers for you if you turned up in that waist coat

Oh really, so the suit does it for you then does it

I might have to start wearing it wherever I go haha

You should however in this heat it might be best not to keep it on too long

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

My standards are as high as my highest heels.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is not a sex site, it's a swingers site. So it's not instashag, like a lot of people seem to think. People on here still have a right to say 'no' and not having to justify their choices.

People meeting those who they would not necessarily find attractive if they saw them in the street for instance - purely because they are offering guaranteed sex

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We only meet people we fancy and We only have sex with people we fancy and get along with . No point just meeting people for sex you have no attraction to as there’s no fun in that.

Having said that though I might lower my knickers for you if you turned up in that waist coat

Oh really, so the suit does it for you then does it

I might have to start wearing it wherever I go haha

You should however in this heat it might be best not to keep it on too long "

Haha might have to slowly start taking the suit off then

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"This is not a sex site, it's a swingers site. So it's not instashag, like a lot of people seem to think. People on here still have a right to say 'no' and not having to justify their choices.

People meeting those who they would not necessarily find attractive if they saw them in the street for instance - purely because they are offering guaranteed sex"

I think it's guaranteed sex if you're a member on here!!!

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

It's just a different context, isn't it?

I mean, when you are out and about no-one knows if that stranger is sexually active or not, in a LTR or not, if their sexuality is compatible or not, and so on.

You can see their face but little else.

Whereas on here you can see everything else except the face, usually.

You don't need 20 questions, either - the answers usually are on the profile.

Which is why people get straight to the point and make suggestions of a sexual nature that, were you to use them as your opening line in the outside world, might get you arrested lol.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"This is not a sex site, it's a swingers site. So it's not instashag, like a lot of people seem to think. People on here still have a right to say 'no' and not having to justify their choices.

People meeting those who they would not necessarily find attractive if they saw them in the street for instance - purely because they are offering guaranteed sex

I *don't* think it's guaranteed sex if you're a member on here!!!"

Damn my phone!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think people lower their standards in here, some do maybe.

But I think we are just all honest, straight to the point and know what we want. You can still be like that and not lower your standards, I certainly don’t lower mine.

But I get where you are coming from with people having sex with people who they wouldn’t look at in the street just because of guaranteed sex. No doubt it does happen on here.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Yeah, I wouldn't look twice at the vacuous young male model types, and I certainly wouldn't date one, but I met one or two.....

And how did they go for you

Like the clappers mostly haha!

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I don’t think people lower their standards in here, some do maybe.

But I think we are just all honest, straight to the point and know what we want. You can still be like that and not lower your standards, I certainly don’t lower mine.

But I get where you are coming from with people having sex with people who they wouldn’t look at in the street just because of guaranteed sex. No doubt it does happen on here. "

What’s this about ‘guaranteed sex’ on here? Nothing is guaranteed, not even replying to a message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think so. I certainly don’t. I think the type of people that say “any holes a goal” and such like dont have any standards to begin with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only time I lower my standards is when I’m 2 bottles of wine down on a night out

But no I wouldn’t lower my standards just for sex from someone on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No never.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have standards.

What others do is beyond my knowledge or control.

Such things do not exercise my mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading stuff that’s posted in the forums suggests and / or confirms at times that people, mainly men do lower their standards, which is why they get shitty when rejected.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Reading stuff that’s posted in the forums suggests and / or confirms at times that people, mainly men do lower their standards, which is why they get shitty when rejected."

This is very true.

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By *louWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I’m very fussy. Surely the sex wouldn’t be as good if you weren’t fully comfortable or attracted to a person!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think men lower their standards.

I'm basing this on some hot men I have fucked who would never give me a second glance in different circumstances.

I wonder if women have higher standards.

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Oh mate.... As has been pointed out, this isn't a sex site, but swinging site. Granted many arrive expecting guaranteed Instashag but really doesn't work like that

And no, never.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont believe many people are that self aware. I have seen profiles proclaiming to have very high standards and when you look at their verifications the meets pics were taken in a bail hostel or in their nan's spare bedroom. In all honesty quite a few rough types on these site. Thankfully you meet a good few gems.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Standards' is a tricky thing to define ... standards for what? Here compared to what? It's a sex site though, so I'm thinking about it in comparison to standards for 'pulling' in a social situation such as a pub or club.

I've spent quite a long time since I've been here, looking at local profiles, their veris, and profiles behind the veris. Lots of lovely people and all that I'm sure, but some of the women are pulling guys who would normally be way out of their league as far as physical looks go.

With supply and demand as it is, women have absolutely no need to 'lower standards', as evidenced by the mainly female responses here and the significant silence from the guys. I wonder what would happen to standards if there was 200 women chasing every guy? Just a thought.

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By *ranglaisCouple
over a year ago

colchester

Swinging is about sex for us and sex appeal is just one aspect of a person that counts for more when all you’re interested in is sex.

Have you ever really wanted someone, had a one night stand and then thought maybe that memory is just for me??

Maybe not the best human quality but we will always be genuine.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Standards' is a tricky thing to define ... standards for what? Here compared to what? It's a sex site though, so I'm thinking about it in comparison to standards for 'pulling' in a social situation such as a pub or club.

I disagree, I would have to lower my standards to pull someone who was merely good looking, i am after way more than that in the real world, i would be looking for class, education, character, personality, integrity, authenticity etc, etc, etc.

So yes, I can shag a 30 yr old male model and be lowering my standards thank you.

What can I say, I was horny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why lower your standards unless your desperate?

I for one wouldn't lower my standards I know what I'm looking for and I will bide my time until I'm lucky enough to find it..

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"The only time I lower my standards is when I’m 2 bottles of wine down on a night out

Do you only have nights out in Bristol?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I imagine people who find it difficult to get meets might lower their standards.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"This is not a sex site, it's a swingers site. So it's not instashag, like a lot of people seem to think. People on here still have a right to say 'no' and not having to justify their choices.

People meeting those who they would not necessarily find attractive if they saw them in the street for instance - purely because they are offering guaranteed sex"

Are you on another site by any chance? Because guaranteed sex and swinging are pretty much mutually exclusive.

I personally go for the same kind of man in the scene (yes, there is a scene outside this site) as I do in the vanilla world. They also usually go for me in the vanilla world. Sometimes they are even the same guy.

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By *heDesiCandiTV/TS
over a year ago

Manchester M3 4JQ

No one is guaranteed sex on here - you have a choice. Need to be sexually, physically and mentally attracted to the person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Standard of how to be a good fabber.

Would I fuck Joe blog.... No.

We have standards so keep them.

Just because a message said

Hey gorgeous. Wanna fuck. Doesn't mean we have to drop our standards without a connection it's simply no thank you.

So get connecting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My standards would still be the same.

I would rather wait around for someone who is 100% what I’m looking for than lower my standards to someone “meh” just to get laid, like a lot of men on here do. “Any holes a goal” kind of attitude many men on here have.

Some of us aren’t that desperate or impatient.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never been to bed with an ugly woman....

I've woken up with a few mind....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My standards couldn't get lower

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love threads like this.......

I bet the Op messaged a woman he thought was below his standards... and she was not interested.... so he made this post.....

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I love threads like this.......

I bet the Op messaged a woman he thought was below his standards... and she was not interested.... so he made this post

"
Often how it goes

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By *humper9erMan
over a year ago

Rocklin

Well, of course people are lowering their expectations! Many are pure exhibitionists, others, pure immoral lustful adulters! Why else would people post nudes of themselves, let perfect strangers gawk at their bodies, or, watch as they have sex with another person? Lets please not try and pass any of this off as Love! Lets be honest! It is all based on Lust! I freely admit that! Looking forward to hearing peoples justifications for their LUSTS!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My standards would still be the same.

Some of us aren’t that desperate or impatient.

I do get impatient at the lack of high quality available men, but never desperate!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just something I’ve been thinking about

Do you think this means that many people lower their standards on fab for guaranteed sex - and perhaps sleep with many people they wouldn’t look at twice in the street?

Or would you say many people are just as fussy about people they play with off here as they would be with going out on a date with someone, for instance? "
I think some do yes and I also think some raise their expectations because of the interest in them

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By *laction manMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

The responders here say as much as the responses.

It’s simply a numbers game, the fact is literally any woman on here can get offers of sex within the hour even if she looks like an extra from Labyrinth so they don’t have to lower their standards. Guys however may choose to lower their standards to match.

Personally if someone has a face like Shrek, a personality like a brick and a pussy like a punched lasagne, no amount of desperation will ever get me there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have different standards in a sex site than if I was looking for a relationship. Not necessarily lower but definitely different.

There are things that would bother me in a long term relation, but wouldn’t be a problem in a casual one. And the other way around is also valid."

We are also the same it's a totally different process and we would be looking for the same standards just different needs.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The responders here say as much as the responses.

Personally if someone has a face like Shrek, a personality like a brick and a pussy like a punched lasagne, no amount of desperation will ever get me there. "

Think you’ve summed it up perfectly

Much of the women and couples on here can afford to be picky as the sheer amount of messages and attention they get

Whereas, much of the men may perhaps sleep with people they wouldn’t look at twice in the street purely because of the little amount of attention they get

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have been on Fab a long time and although we have had a few "Social" meets, we have not had much success in progressing it.

We refuse to lower our standards, why should we, my Wife is worth much more than that!

90%+ of men on here are looking for a shag, they want it now and quite frankly they will shag anything as long as it is breathing and in some cases even if it isn't!

Just take a look at the crass comments from the men in the chat rooms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to, otherwise I would never get laid.

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By *eeshelleTV/TS
over a year ago

Marlow

I have lowered my standards lots of times ,looks and body shape wise, but am pleasantly suprised you can still have a very enjoyable session, its not all about looks.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"The responders here say as much as the responses.

Personally if someone has a face like Shrek, a personality like a brick and a pussy like a punched lasagne, no amount of desperation will ever get me there.

Think you’ve summed it up perfectly

Much of the women and couples on here can afford to be picky as the sheer amount of messages and attention they get

Whereas, much of the men may perhaps sleep with people they wouldn’t look at twice in the street purely because of the little amount of attention they get "

You have written this three times.

Do you approach women routinely in the street?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The responders here say as much as the responses.

Personally if someone has a face like Shrek, a personality like a brick and a pussy like a punched lasagne, no amount of desperation will ever get me there.

Think you’ve summed it up perfectly

Much of the women and couples on here can afford to be picky as the sheer amount of messages and attention they get

Whereas, much of the men may perhaps sleep with people they wouldn’t look at twice in the street purely because of the little amount of attention they get

You have written this three times.

Do you approach women routinely in the street?"

It’s a phrase that’s why - could be anywhere you approach someone you find attractive just not online I mean

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By *ystical_InkedBBWWoman
over a year ago

somewhere in the Shire of Derby

I want it to be a great experience and I won't get that by lowering my standards

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"The responders here say as much as the responses.

Personally if someone has a face like Shrek, a personality like a brick and a pussy like a punched lasagne, no amount of desperation will ever get me there.

Think you’ve summed it up perfectly

Much of the women and couples on here can afford to be picky as the sheer amount of messages and attention they get

Whereas, much of the men may perhaps sleep with people they wouldn’t look at twice in the street purely because of the little amount of attention they get

You have written this three times.

Do you approach women routinely in the street?

It’s a phrase that’s why - could be anywhere you approach someone you find attractive just not online I mean"

Approach who you like. Online, offline... Why even think about standards?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Standards implies that your image is more important to you than anything else. Women cum in all shapes and sizes and each of them has a different personality and if you think that shagging only the beautiful models will do it for you then you are fooling yourself. I had a 2 1/2 year relationship with a 54 year old granny who was the most wonderful, amazing, kind and dirty person I have ever met. She dressed like a porn star in bed but was a normal working professional woman outside of our relationship. She was well built and quite raucous and taller than me in her heels but we had so much fun despite what our appearances might have suggested that it gave me an insight into the prejudice that “lowering your standards” implies. Never mind the ratios it’s all about the person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I shop at asda now as a result of being here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Standards implies that your image is more important to you than anything else. Women cum in all shapes and sizes and each of them has a different personality and if you think that shagging only the beautiful models will do it for you then you are fooling yourself. I had a 2 1/2 year relationship with a 54 year old granny who was the most wonderful, amazing, kind and dirty person I have ever met. She dressed like a porn star in bed but was a normal working professional woman outside of our relationship. She was well built and quite raucous and taller than me in her heels but we had so much fun despite what our appearances might have suggested that it gave me an insight into the prejudice that “lowering your standards” implies. Never mind the ratios it’s all about the person."

“54 year old granny” LOL!

I’m guessing that relationship was when you were young then? As it’s only 3 years from your age now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it was quite recently and that was meant to be ironic. The funniest thing was when she found her son and his girlfriends couples profile on here - she soon went private after that lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We haven't had a meet since 're joining the site..

purely because we won't just sleep with just anyone.

We're here to have fun.. where's the fun in sleeping with someone you're not attracted to

Adam.

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By *ockandrollaMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Yeah, I wouldn't look twice at the vacuous young male model types, and I certainly wouldn't date one, but I met one or two.....

Frisky wow what profile pics and never ever are you 59 years young what a figure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If anything the opposite

The longer iv been here the choosier im getting if u cant banter or hold a conversation im not gonna bother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I most definitely lower my standards. All I want from here is a guy to hold a conversation for a few hours and perform sexually. I want a hell of a lot more than that in real life x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If people didn’t lower there standards we’d never get a meet.....

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By *naquest321Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

Needs to be what I’m looking for.

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By *mp411Man
over a year ago

chester

Just like everything in life what you may see as unattractive others have fantasies about it’s all personal choice at the end of the day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Standards are always in place for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If people didn’t lower there standards we’d never get a meet.....

"
awwwww

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By *rban-NitesCouple
over a year ago

LONDON (SE)

"Just something I’ve been thinking about

Do you think this means that many people lower their standards on fab for guaranteed sex - and perhaps sleep with many people they wouldn’t look at twice in the street?

Or would you say many people are just as fussy about people they play with off here as they would be with going out on a date with someone, for instance? "

We haven't and won't, probably why after almost a year we've yet to gel with the right people to play with.

Yes we've got more flesh on show than we'd ever post on other social networking sites but it doesn't make our morals or standards lower, to us it's just a little fun, we wouldn't just shag anyone for the experience or veri's. There had to be genuine attraction, respect and consideration before any of that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Different criteria for different things. On here physical appearance, charm and wit play a larger part than they would if I was looking for a long term partner, where substance, honesty, lifestyle, solvency and many other heavy weight criteria are more important. So if by ‘standards’ you mean physical appearance, then my ‘standards’ are higher on fab than in real life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Different criteria for different things. On here physical appearance, charm and wit play a larger part than they would if I was looking for a long term partner, where substance, honesty, lifestyle, solvency and many other heavy weight criteria are more important. So if by ‘standards’ you mean physical appearance, then my ‘standards’ are higher on fab than in real life."
yes I get that you can demand a better looking man because of supply and demand it's the western way or the fab way

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Do you think this means that many people lower their standards on fab for guaranteed sex - and perhaps sleep with many people they wouldn’t look at twice in the street?

Is there generally such a thing as 'guaranteed sex'?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you think this means that many people lower their standards on fab for guaranteed sex - and perhaps sleep with many people they wouldn’t look at twice in the street?

Is there generally such a thing as 'guaranteed sex'?"
yes but it comes in the category prostitution

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By *isser36Man
over a year ago

fylde Coast

99% of men on here will lower their standard if they think they are going to get laid, and by standards I think in the outside world that would be someone they would have a relationship with or be seen with openly whether that means age, looks, size whatever. Couples and single females however I don't think do lower their "standards" simply because of the amount of choice they have on the site, in fact I've seen loads of times where you could say they have raised their "standard". Just my opinion.

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By *eKoopleCouple
over a year ago

Germany / Manchester

Mental and physical attraction are equally important and would rather do without than lower our standards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My standards are exactly the same on here as it would be outside of here. I’m not into hook ups so that’s probably why. I need a mental connection to be attracted no matter what I’m doing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely agree!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"99% of men on here will lower their standard if they think they are going to get laid, and by standards I think in the outside world that would be someone they would have a relationship with or be seen with openly whether that means age, looks, size whatever. Couples and single females however I don't think do lower their "standards" simply because of the amount of choice they have on the site, in fact I've seen loads of times where you could say they have raised their "standard". Just my opinion. "

I think this is quite correct.

I've seen young single males in the chat rooms talking to a women they wouldn't look at twice in a club or pub, especially if they were with their mates.

For example, a 20 something lad telling a woman old enough to be his Nan to show her tits again happens in the chat rooms, but out with his mates at Spoonies, she wouldn't even crop up on his radar.

Couples though (and I'm part of a couple on here) are much choosier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this is quite correct.

I've seen young single males in the chat rooms talking to a women they wouldn't look at twice in a club or pub, especially if they were with their mates.

For example, a 20 something lad telling a woman old enough to be his Nan to show her tits again happens in the chat rooms, but out with his mates at Spoonies, she wouldn't even crop up on his radar.

Couples though (and I'm part of a couple on here) are much choosier."

Only certain types of guys would be doing that on the chat rooms. Quite desperate ones at that. They would not be the kind of guys I would come into contact with on here or in life outside of here.

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By *ormerWelshcouple2020Man
over a year ago

Stourbridge

I think it depends on what they are here for.

Originally we wanted to fulfil certain fantasies we had from many years ago but felt to restricted to try.

Fab opened up a world of like minded (in the main) people who wouldn’t judge if what we wanted was seen in the vanilla world as “kinky”

Of course we all look at physical attraction, it’s part of our DNA but as many have said, for us there has to be mental stimulation too.

That said, there are certain things we want to try that would fall outside of the normal aesthetic that attracts us, wouldn’t see that as lowering, simply a different criteria.

And , as is often said, yes I (M) am lucky that Mrs must have lowered her standards to accept me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No never lower standards wouldn't just play with anyone "

likewise

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By *KMaxMan
over a year ago

Bristol

I have no standard or morals whatsoever, if anyone is daft enough to want to shag a short, fat ugly fucker like me, then I'm up for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes in many ways we are so much luckier these days in that through sites like fab we can find people who share similar desires to us. I love that I can experience new tastes and pleasures which in the past I would have been very wary of bringing into a relationship.

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