FabSwingers.com forum: Sex addiction

By *ockandrolla OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Sooooo yes thiS is a swingers site blah blah blah but anyone on here been given a sex addict tag and I don’t mean by friends etc I mean professionally???

I was over three years ago and saw professionals and attended groups etc

And yes you may say well it didn’t work if your on here

Well it did and has worked so I guess anyone that thinks they are struggling there is help out there

And no it doesn’t mean either you give up sex altogether it is a very complex addiction and people get different things out the addiction not just the sex part ie a need to feel wanted

Maybe not the right place or site to open a discussion on this but was just interested in people’s views / experiences as always good talk and share with any addiction

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting question: so if 'it worked' does that mean you are no longer an addict? Or, how are you using this site/swinging differently now to when it was a problem for you?

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By *ockandrolla OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Yes it worked and as you can see on my profile I came back on here

But had no meets since because that’s been through choice

As I say the addiction can be very multi layered and one persons addiction can be different to someone else’s

It’s a very deep subject and yes I still have sex but with the rest that people and for the right reasons

Enjoying something and addiction are two completely different things

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By *ockandrolla OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Well remember people it’s good to talk x

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

This is why I love the forums ... comedy gold .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really interesting approach...

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By *ockandrolla OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Nothing funny about addictions of any kind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These sex addiction "Group" meets must be fucking brilliant, a room full of likeminded people....

I be putting it on any hot women in attendance within minutes

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By *ockandrolla OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

I think you been watching to many pornos fella

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Sooooo yes thiS is a swingers site blah blah blah but anyone on here been given a sex addict tag and I don’t mean by friends etc I mean professionally???

I was over three years ago and saw professionals and attended groups etc

And yes you may say well it didn’t work if your on here

Well it did and has worked so I guess anyone that thinks they are struggling there is help out there

And no it doesn’t mean either you give up sex altogether it is a very complex addiction and people get different things out the addiction not just the sex part ie a need to feel wanted

Maybe not the right place or site to open a discussion on this but was just interested in people’s views / experiences as always good talk and share with any addiction "

Forgive me but i thought the DSM-V removed sexual addiction as a term because they realised it wasn't a legit medical term. Therefore, nobody would have a professional diagnosis of it now?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting point about the DSMV. With the growth in recognition of so many areas of mental disturbance and the resulting proliferation of advice and treatment there is always going to be a conflict over the classification of what is a real problem and what is a convenient label. For many people sex is addictive and they cope with it well as part of their day to day life but for some of us it takes over everything and affects all aspects of our lives and can be quite damaging to careers, friendships and families. If you are enjoying life and not at all affected then I would say lucky you, whereas if like many people on fab and other sites you find it a bit of an emotional rollercoaster that keeps drawing you back in then you should consider the addictive nature of it all. You can find help at Saa.org.uk

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By *ockandrolla OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

[Removed by poster at 06/08/18 11:50:53]

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By *ockandrolla OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Now that’s what I call a post

Very sensible comment and add the the discussion

Yes I was treated like an addict and yes it did affect me friends and loved ones till the point you only get help when something happens and goes wrong

It makes you stand up and realise because like with any addiction sometimes it takes a tigger for the person to get help or to talk to someone I went on the net and also my gp whereby I was signposted to other agencies

It is easy as sometimes you get told there’s nothing wrong with you your just been a bloke

But believe me it is different and it’s something that takes over and it involves everything and everyone around sex not just physical but mental too

But it’s different strokes for different folks just like in anything in life

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Now that’s what I call a post

Very sensible comment and add the the discussion

Yes I was treated like an addict and yes it did affect me friends and loved ones till the point you only get help when something happens and goes wrong

It is easy as sometimes you get told there’s nothing wrong with you your just been a bloke

But believe me it is different and it’s something that takes over and it involves everything and everyone around sex not just physical but mental too

But it’s different strokes for different folks just like in anything in life"

Yes but I'm not denying it's a problem or saying "you're just being a bloke". I'm saying that if the diagnosis is wrong then the prescription probably won't work either. I don't claim to be an expert on this but i quote:

"When addicts, including those addicted to drugs, alcohol, smoking, and gambling, are shown pictures of their drug of choice there is a clear and uniform response in their P300 brain waves, which are usually activated when we see something of particular interest or desire, as well as increased late positive potential (LPP) response, which measures the intensity of the brain’s response to a specific thing at a given moment.

However, when UCLA researchers studied the response to viewing sexually explicit images in people who self-defined as being unable to regulate their porn viewing, the results showed no similar response in either brain measure (Steele, Staley, Fong, & Prause, 2013; Prause, Steele, Sabatinelli, & Hajcak, 2015). In fact, they found the only thing correlated with brain wave activity was sexual desire such that the higher their self-reported sexual desire, the more brain wave activity they showed. The authors concluded that there was no evidence to say that even problem sexual regulation fit the definition of addiction as defined by brain response and that these people simply had high sex drives."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it’s the compulsive and uncontrollable nature of it which makes it an addiction and the lack of perspective it causes, where sex becomes more important than anything else in your life. All I can say is I am bloody glad I was never any good at taking drugs and I am definitely a cheap d*unk too.

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By *ockandrolla OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Hit the nail on the head compulsive and the consent need to feel that high and that can be linked to drugs alcohol sex and now they are even saying video games

For me it wasn’t just the act of sex it was everything else that revolves around sex

Wants needs and desires and yes we all have them but it’s how these control you rather then the other way around

I guess it’s hard (excuse the pun) to explain in text but I know from first hand experience what can happen

All I will say is to anyone is there is help if needed

Thank you to those who have commented on this discussion and topic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm worried that I am so I am attending a local meeting tonight.

Have thought about it for a while now.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

Class myself as more of a sex addict than a swinger.

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By *racy_JacksWoman
over a year ago

Derby

There is ongoing debate in the literature about whether this is a valid concept. In the DSM hyper sexual disorder is in the section for disorders requiring further study.

In spite of this treatment providers continue to use the term. The most common way people enter treatment is through self diagnosis- there is a (very inclusive) test that people can take online

There are people who's sexual behaviour is out of control and some kind of intervention is needed, but I don't think that the sex addiction label is accurate and it can actually be quite damaging (for example, a major message is that it's an addiction, it's in your brain and that you are powerless in the face of it)

I am doing some work in this area and feel very strongly about this, for a number of reasons

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

Isn't addiction when it takes over your life and affects your normal day to day functioning?

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By *racy_JacksWoman
over a year ago

Derby

"Isn't addiction when it takes over your life and affects your normal day to day functioning?"

Well the term 'addiction' has broadened and there are also debates about the term.

But one commonality in addictions research is where there is a shift from using a drug for pleasure, to using it due to need and to relieve craving and withdrawal. This is associated with long term changes in neural circuits. This shift, and the long term neural changes, have not been demonstrated in studies of sex addiction

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

"Isn't addiction when it takes over your life and affects your normal day to day functioning?"

That's when it's considered a problem.

I joined SAA and they helped a fair bit to get me to undestand why i was addicted to sex but i still felt distressed about not having sex,i also felt distressed about going into a relationship (fear of intimacy).

I've gone onto medication that has good results for PTSD, anxiety, OCD and have noticed i'm less obsessed about sex and that it doesn't distress me much not to have sex. I've gone from being highly turned on 24/7 over 30 years to probably having a high libido only now, it'sa big relief tbh.

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